Chapter Text
September 6, Monday
"OH MY GOD. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR FUCKING HAIR, MARYAM?!"
I sighed at the shocked expression on his face. "Good Afternoon To You, Too. And Lower Your Voice Down, Please."
First day of being a senior in my school, I get a shout about my hair from my close friend Karkat Vantas. We have known each other way back since we were kids, along with Vri-... someone I used to like. Actually, we had a lot of childhood friends here. There was Terezi Pyrope, which Karkat was sort of seeing. You'll find out why I said "sort of" back there, sooner or later. And then best friends Sollux Captor and Aradia Megido which we had Gym with during Tuesdays.
As I closed my locker and slung my backpack, we both walked towards our last period, which was physics-slash-homeroom. Karkat and I didn't get to meet at lunch a while ago for some reason and we just got to see each other just this minute. Luckily, I got a few schedules together with him and the others.
Honestly, I just wanted to get my senior year over. Maybe go to Yale if I pass or something, and then fulfill my dream of becoming a fashion designer.
"DID YOU GET GUM STUCK IN IT?" He couldn't get over my new pixie-cut hair. It had been very long before, but certain things don't always last forever.
"No."
"HAD SPLIT ENDS?"
"Everyone Has Split Ends."
"NOT ME."
"Of Course Not."
"SAVE THE SARCASM FOR SOMEONE WHO'S FUCKING SARCASTIC TO THE TIP OF HER TOES AS WELL, KANAYA." he retorted.
I laughed. A few people turned their heads to look at us.
"WHY THOUGH?" he persisted.
My eyes grazed the floor. "You Know Why."
"BECAUSE OF HER?"
Why do names suddenly make you feel fragile when you're hurt? "I Am Reluctant To Agree, But Yes."
"DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?"
"I'd Rather Not For It Might Disrupt The Delicate Balance Between Reminiscing And Moving On." Should I even say it as "moving on" when Vriska and I were never a couple to begin with? I just really had a major crush on her and had deluded myself into thinking she felt the same way about me.
"YOU SHOULD REALLY FIND SOME NICE, HOT CHICK AGAIN NOW THAT SCHOOL STARTED," Karkat suggested.
"And Break My Heart Again? I Think I'll Pass." We saw Nepeta Leijon and Equius Zahhak along our way and had nodded at them. Karkat and I had classes with them last junior year.
"WOW. DON'T BE SO PESSIMISTIC, KANAYA. WHAT IF NEW, HOT CHICK'S GONNA LIKE YOU BACK NOW? I MEAN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MOVING ON AND ALL."
Why is he even more interested in my love life than me? "I Am."
"DOESN'T REALLY LOOK LIKE IT."
"I Met A Girl During Vacation," I replied just so he'd forget about the subject.
"WHOA. NO WAY. IS SHE HOT?"
I raised an eyebrow. "What Would Be The Difference If She's Hot Or Just Normal?"
Karkat appeared wanting to face-palm or something. "YOU GET POINTS IF SHE'S HOT. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. BUT, YEAH, I GUESS IT'D BE OKAY IF SHE'S PLAINLY NORMAL."
"Oh. Well, I'm Not Sure. I Met Her Through Sburb."
Sburb was this popular website on the internet that was basically Facebook, Wattpad, Tumblr, all in one. Much, MUCH more exciting, I guess? It had nice games, too. There's this one game "Skaia" that's pretty cool. Only few know about it, though. Karkat had a Sburb account so he would know what I was talking about.
"OH NO." His eyes grew wide. "NOT SOME INTERNET CHICK! WHAT IF "SHE'S" A "HE"? OR WORSE."
"What Would Be Worse Than That?"
"SHE'D BE ONLY SIX YEARS OLD," he explained.
I gasped theatrically. "That Is Worse! Me Being A Pedophile Lesbian And All."
He scowled at me.
"Relax," I said while waving my hand reassuringly, "I Know She's A Girl And She Seems To Be Our Age. I Got To Video Chat With Her A Couple Of Times."
"SO YOU SAW HER THEN."
"Er, No." I bit down on my bottom lip. "She Had Requested Not To Use The Webcam And Just Chat Through Voice Or Whatever."
"GOOD GRIEF, KANAYA. YOU'RE HOPELESS." Karkat shook his head.
Was I really that bad? "Look, I'm Not Saying I Instantly Like Internet-Girl-With-No-Face. I Just Wanted To Let You See That I Am Moving On Like I Told You."
"YOU REALLY WANT TO FORGET THE BITCH, HUH?"
We had reached our respective room and was about to cross over the threshold.
"Please Don't Call Her That." Even though she kind of was. "She Broke My Heart But That Doesn't Mean We Should Call Her Names."
"WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOUR LUCK MUST BE SO OVERWHELMING, MARYAM."
"What Do You Mean?"
Karkat nodded toward a seat where Vriska Serket was in, chatting with some of the boys in our class.
I couldn't help a groan. This was so not helping. All I needed was a bunch of grins or gestures from her, and I'd probably make myself hope for nothing again. I instantly chose a seat far away from her, and plunked my stuff down. She didn't seem to notice my presence and I tried to think that was a good thing. Except maybe I failed at doing so.
There was a vacant seat beside me, but Karkat chose his near the window that was facing the lawn of the school. He always liked that spot for some reason. I saw him stand and walk to my table.
"SO, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT INTERNET CHICK."
I chuckled quietly. "Yes. Honestly, We Kind Of Get Along Well. She Sounds Very Mature Whenever I Get To Talk To Her. And Sophisticated When We Chat. And Intelligent. And-"
"YOU LIKE INTERNET GIRL."
... "I Never Said I Did."
He scoffed. "YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE COMPLETELY SMITTEN WITH VIDEO-CHAT-BUT-WITHOUT-THE-WEBCAM-WHAT-THE-HELL CHICK. COMPLIMENTING ON HOW GODDAMN PERFECT SHE IS FOR YOU. HOW'D YOU MEET HER, ANYWAY?"
"I Saw Her Sburb Account By Accident While I was Skimming For New Posts To Read," I answered.
Karkat folded his arms. "LEMME GUESS, YOU SAW A POST FROM HER WHICH CAUGHT YOUR ATTENTION AND YOU STARTED STALKING HER PROFILE AND YOU REALIZED HER ACCOUNT'S THIS PERFECT THING."
"I... I Wouldn't Actually Say It Was Stalking." I frowned. "You Don't Call It Stalking When You're Randomly Going Through Someone's Profile, Do You?"
He looked at me like it was obvious. "IT'S GODDAMN STALKING, MARYAM."
I ignored him.
"SO WHAT'S HER NAME?"
"She Didn't Mention It In Her Profile Because She Said She Had To Keep Her Anonymity."
He rolled his eyes. "OH. GREAT."
"But Her Sburb Account Is Titled 'tentacleTherapist' And She... Has A Really Nice Voice." I felt my face go red. Her voice really was soothing, I wasn't kidding around. Like when you're at some place peaceful and there's this breeze on your skin that's really soothing.
"WOW. YOU FUCKING BLUSHED. AND I THOUGHT YOU ONLY BLUSHED FOR THE BITCH."
I lowered my voice down even though I wasn't the one who was talking loud. "She Might Hear You, You Know."
"SHE WON'T KNOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HER."
We both glanced at Vriska and was surprised to see that she was looking right at me and Karkat and had made a gesture of pointing her index finger to her ear, and then at the two of us.
Karkat turned back to my table. "DON'T WORRY. SHE'S JUST TRYING TO SAY SHE HAS REALLY BAD EARWAX AND SHE WANTS US TO CLEAN IT FOR HER."
I gave a chuckle but fidgeted nervously.
"SO I'M GUESSING YOU GUYS ARE FRIENDS ON SBURB NOW, SINCE YOU SAID YOU GUYS CHATTED AND ALL."
"Yes," feeling glad at the mention of the topic before, "She Accepted My Request. She Had Seemed Quite Snooty And I Often Had Snark-Off Battles With Her. But As I've Said, We Do Get Along With Certain Topics And She Is Fun To Converse With."
"IF I WAS THE SBURB CHAT BOX, I'D PROBABLY WOULDN'T TAKE MUCH HORSEHIT FROM YOU GUYS AND EXPLODE."
I ignored his comment. "I Haven't Been Communicating With Her For A While Though," I bit my lip. "I Sent Her A Bunch Of Messages But She Hasn't Answered Yet. She Seems Quite Busy And I Do Not Want To Seem Meddlesome Again."
"UH-HUH. DO YOU MIND IF I SEND A REQUEST TO HER, TOO?"
"Huh?" I started to protest, "But-"
"I'M NOT GONNA FUCKING STEAL HER AWAY FROM YOU, MARYAM." He rolled his eyes. "I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF SHE REALLY IS PERFECT LIKE YOU SAID."
"I Didn't Say She Was Perfect." Maybe she could be though.
"YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE SHE IS. HAVING THIS "Really Nice, Sexy Voice" OR SOMETHING."
? "I Didn't Say 'Sexy'."
"YOU PRACTICALLY IMPLIED IT WHEN YOU BLUSHED."
I heaved a sigh. "Fine. Do Whatever You Want." The teacher suddenly came in so everyone had to go back to their seats.
"JUST DON'T STEAL HER AWAY FROM YOU. GOT IT." and he walked back to his table.
I sighed again.
"Alright, settle down." Our teacher Mr. Andrew Hussie sighed as well. Probably because it was the start of classes again. Bunch of kids exhausting him to death. I kinda feel bad for the guy. He seems to be preoccupied most of the time and forgets things. And his skin was always, I don't know, squash-colored? I never saw him at the beach getting some kind of tan or whatever he does in his spare time.
"So it's the first day of class and you're all seniors now. Whoop-de-do." He didn't sound happy or excited at all. "That means you all have to get good grades and possibly join some clubs maybe to help you realize what you want to be after college. And blah blah blah blah bububluh bluh bla blabbering blah blah..." he droned on and I was sure I wasn't the only one who wasn't listening anymore.
A knock came from the door. Mr. Hussie went to open it. I couldn't really see who it was from my poor view of the door in my seat since I sat at the back row.
"Class, it seems that we have a transfer student."
Everyone kept silent, except for this guy who kind of said "wow". Karkat, maybe.
"If you please," Mr. Hussie said to the student. This was one of the things I like about him. He wouldn't get mad if you were late, as long as you had a true enough reason. Maybe she got lost which was a fair reason because our school Huckstome High is quite large. New students always got lost.
A girl with shoulder-length blonde hair walked inside carrying her stuff in a purple mailer's bag with this sort-of skull design on its front. She had a black headband on and wore little makeup that emphasized her creamy, ivory skin. Her weight, probably average but with a slight hourglass figure like mine (not to brag or anything). Height, perhaps 3 inches shorter than me, and I was 5'6''. Features, strikingly feminine. Movements, graceful. Her whole presence had this confident aura and-
What on earth was I doing?
Was I actually checking her out??
... I guess she was... sorta... pretty.
Goodness.
She saw me staring at her (well, I bet everyone was?) and had smirked a little. My eyebrow raised from curiosity.
"Now, please introduce yourself to the class, young lady," Mr. Hussie said.
Low chuckling emanated from everyone except me, Karkat and Vriska. Having an account on Sburb pretty much changes your sense of humor, and probably the things you think about. ...Well, maybe except Terezi who always had something to cackle about. She was seated next to Karkat, I hadn't notice she came in a while ago.
Blondie cleared her throat, then opened her mouth to speak. "Hello, I'm Rose Lalonde."
Hmm. This voice.
"I transferred because my mother found a more suitable job here and had me enrolled to this new educational facility to gather new data and certain topics that would help me achieve my future career to put food in my mouth, fill my pockets with finance, and otherwise repeat the same never-ending cycle of life which humans feel rather comfortable with, even in its redundant state due to our species' preferance of being, as you would call it, "normal.""
Silence.
"Why Did You Choose This School When There Are Others Possibly More Satisfying?" I'm not sure why I asked that. Small talk, maybe? I was trying not to make it awkward for the girl.
Everyone stared at me. Perhaps I had insulted their magnificent school.
I backpedaled. "What?"
"Because this was the nearest school from my house and I like walking the distance," she answered.
"I See." I also see I probably made things even more awkward than it already was. Nice job, Maryam.
"Okay then," Mr. Hussie replied, "Miss Lalonde, please choose a seat and we will start our lecture in ten minutes."
Rose nodded and had walked to the vacant seat beside me. I wonder why she didn't just sit in the front where there were clearly two vacant ones beside Terezi. Please don't think that she's going to flirt with you, Kanaya. Please don't. Anything but flirting. Don't... hope.
"Do you mind?" she asked as she sat down. Why did she have to ask if she already took a seat?
I shook my head anyway. "Not At All."
"My name's Rose, by the way."
"Yes. You Implied As Much A While Ago," I reminded as I took a pen and notebook from my bag.
"So what do you think?"
I turned to her. "About What?"
"Of my face."
I began to think she also transferred here just to scare the bones out of me.
A pretty girl. Talking to me. Beside my table. Asking what I thought of her face!
Was this some sort of thing now to know if you were gay? Should I tell her I thought she was pretty? Or should I keep it simple and say "it's all right" with a shrug? No that sounds terrible! What if she'll think I judged people based on their looks when maybe I wasn't even pretty myself?!
I suddenly heard her chuckle. What was so funny? Maybe my own face looked as if I was having diarrhea from all the thinking I was doing.
"My apologies, Kanaya. I just thought you would have a better reaction in seeing me in person."
Maybe she was secretly a bitch, too. Just because she was pretty, she could get away in messing with people's thoughts.
Wait a second. "How Did You Know My Name?"
"It was on your profile in Sburb."
"And You Are...?"
"Rose."
"I Know That."
She chuckled again. Maybe she found humor in my confusion. "Pardon me once more. I had just wanted to mess with you for a moment."
It seemed that way. At least that much was confirmed.
She placed a hand below her chin and stared at me. "But enough of the riddles. Let me introduce myself."
Oh, boy. Maybe I had this girl all wrong. She was an utter buffoon. Such shame.
"I'm Rose Lalonde, tentacleTherapist."
...
What?
She continued, "I presume you are 'grimAuxiliatrix'? The one I had exchanged snark-offs with, last July? Forgive my lack of messages lately. As you can see, I've been very busy with all the moving and transferring schools."
MOTHER OF GIORGIO ARMANI.
She... she was here! The tentacleTherapist I idolized just by reading her posts and her profile!
I looked back at her and ogled unintentionally. The crossed legs implied a proper woman seated. Sophisticated, by the way she handled her movements. Smart, with the words she delivered her sentences with.
Oh No She's Hot.
"Y-yes," I stammered while I looked away. "You Presumed Right."
"I notice your hair is quite short now."
I stifled a blush. "How Did You Know It Had Been Long Before?"
"I saw a picture of you in your Sburb account before the haircut." Hm,I remember that picture. I guess that explained why she knew me already. She took out a pen and a lavender notebook. "Besides, I think every girl has had their hair long at some point. Perhaps except me."
"Oh. Why Did You Exclude Yourself?"
"I never grow out my hair too long. I cut it off whenever it grows a few inches."
"Why?"
Rose shrugged. "I like having shoulder-length hair."
"I Bet You'd Still Look Pretty Even With Other Hairstyles."
...
Oh my god what the hell did I say was I actually flirting this girl oh crap crap crap I took it too far what if she'll get turned-off oh my god, Kanaya why why why did you do it you've never really been good at flirting and-
"Thank you for the compliment," My head turned to look at her. "And also because you finally answered my question before."
"Which Was?" Is she always this serious?
Rose started sketching in the notebook she brought out. "What you thought of my face."
This time the blush made its way through my cheeks. "Oh. Well Then, You Are Welcome."
Mr. Hussie started his lesson so we had to cut our conversation short. Rose kept sketching in her notebook but when he asked her a question, she was still able to answer like she was utterly paying attention to the lesson even when her head was down. I noticed this because I couldn't help glancing at her from the corner of my eye from time to time.
At last, after two long hours of all that electricity and magnetism (our lesson in physics, not how I was suddenly feeling for the girl beside me), the bell rung and everyone scrambled to get outside including Mr. Hussie.
I put my things inside my backpack and was about to leave when someone tapped me on my shoulder. My head turned and saw Rose handing me the paper she drew in a while ago. She had ripped it from the notebook so its sides had been crumpled a little from the action.
I took it and was about to ask what it was for, but she had already left the room.
I gaped at the drawing she gave.
It was my face but with long hair. All the curves and lines the same as my face in the photo had been. Even including the flaw of having my lips a little too full.
GREAT. She was hot and she could draw well?
What more could she do?!
A note written below caught my attention for her handwriting was possibly as hot as she was, but maybe that's just me.
"I hope you don't mind that I drew your face from the picture I saw of you. It's your choice if you want to keep it or not. I don't really mind.
It was nice meeting you, Kanaya Maryam.
-RL
P.S. I think you're pretty, too."
The orange sky lit up the horizon obscured with light pink clouds as I walked home with a slight smile on my lips. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to like someone again.
My eyebrows slowly pushed together though, as I remembered this song:
I can't set my hopes too high,
'Cause every hello ends with a goodbye.
But then...
Why do I want to hope?
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