Actions

Work Header

IF YOU

Summary:

What does an intense Satosugu brainrot/hyperfixation, and a need for angst get you? A Satosugu fic ofc! This fic was based off the song, "IF YOU," by Big Bang. I do advise you to listen while reading, sets the mood :,(. Not spoiler free guys, so pls refrain from reading if you aren't caught up with the manga! Just felt like writing some Satoru POV from inside the Prison Realm.

Notes:

Hi, This fic is honestly so random. It was 2AM and I was listening to big bang again. IF YOU? Do listen to the song while reading this fic if you would like! It sets the mood ;'). So this fic contains major manga spoilers, please refrain from reading if you aren't all that caught up! I just wanted to write a fic from Satoru's POV of being stuck in the prison realm. You know, after having seen his dead ex bff right in front of him and then getting sealed? I bet he's going through it rn. Also fair warning!! that I am not the best writer, and this is technically my first fic on this site so please do go easy on me! :,). I may come back to fix what I can later on, for now, pls enjoy :).

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"He is leaving
And I can’t do anything
Love is leaving
Like a fool, I’m blankly standing here"

Suguru wasn’t acting like himself.

It was the first sign.

He was losing weight, sometimes he’d stare into nothingness as I ranted about some mission I truly could have cared less about.

That wasn’t Suguru. That wasn’t my Suguru.

Where did it all go wrong Suguru?

Why didn’t you tell me of all these thoughts that plagued your every wake?

Why did you suffer with your thoughts in silence?

If I had tried a little harder could I have changed our outcome?

Could I have saved us?

Could I have saved you?

Could I have saved your smile from disappearing from my life?

I gave your body to those girls you rescued Suguru. I know it’s what you would have wanted..

To be with your family…

Family.

Weren’t we family Suguru?

So why, why did you leave me?

What could have I done differently Suguru?

"I’m looking at him, getting farther away
He becomes a small dot and then disappears
Will this go away after time passes?
I remember the old times. I remember you."

And even now,

even now I still consider you my better half Suguru.

You made me whole.

You made me laugh.

You made me angry.

You made me happy.

You made me love…..

You taught me how to trust others.

I see you in these students Suguru.

I see you inside of each and every one of them.

In their smiles.

Their pride in being Jujutsu Sorcerers.

In their dreams.

They’re all so talented Suguru.

All so strong.

We were strong too Suguru,

The strongest in fact.

Together.

And then you left,

And then you died…

"IF YOU IF YOU
If it’s not too late
Can’t we get back together?
IF YOU IF YOU
If you’re struggling like I am
Can’t we make things a little easier?
I should’ve treated you better when I had you"

It was silly of me to think that maybe Yaga had been lying to me about that village.

It was silly but I thought, “No way, no way did Suguru do something like that. It can’t be true.”

Shoko seemed to have thought the same way..

Why would she have asked?

And your response?

Unbelievable Suguru.

I had to see you for myself.

What was I thinking? Did I think you would come back with me?

What would we have done about the higher ups if you had Suguru?

I would have killed them.

I would have killed them all for you,

because I’m the strongest.

I still remember the spectacle we made on that street.

It was loud at the time but standing on that street knowing what was coming next… all I could hear was you.

I knew your response

And yet still I hoped, I hoped that maybe you would come back to me Suguru.

"How about you?
Are you really fine?
Guess our break up is setting
I should forget you but it’s not easy"

I bought the ring Suguru.

That ring we talked about.

That, “silly” ring I mentioned.

On one of my mission’s, it caught my eyes.

Unique

I know you said it was stupid and that we didn’t need something so silly to define us and what we h̶a̶v̶e̶

Had.

Love is the most twisted curse of all..

I say as I remember the feeling of your once warm body grow cold in my arms

The ring feels like a brick.

It feels exactly like the feeling in my chest since that Christmas Day.

And that’s how I knew I had been cursed.

Our love was the curse.

Love was our curse.

It’s what got me here.

Trapped in a box.

It’s what killed you,

It’s what killed you and brought “you” back.

I wonder, if I mention the ring will you react?

You reacted when I called your name.

Will you remember that silly talk we had in my dorm?

I still remember how you paused before breaking into that smile of yours.

That smile where both of your eyebrows tilted downwards, not that silly facade you showed to the rest of the world.

That smile.

I guess if I mention it now, it’d be too late huh?

I’m a couple of years too late.

"I’m looking at him, getting farther away
He becomes a small dot and then disappears
Will this go away after time passes?
I remember the old times. I remember you"

You knew.

You knew on that busy street that I wouldn’t have killed you.

I bet you thought it was because of the people right?

Fuck those people Suguru.

Fuck every single one of them.

I couldn’t do it because I couldn’t believe that, that had been the end of us.

The strongest duo.

Fuck that title.

I just wanted my best friend back.

If I could go back I would have sat and listened to you.

I would have listened to you talk of these nightmares that plagued your dreams so bad that you visited Shoko all the time for sleeping pills.

They clearly never helped

The sound of your heaving in the bathroom at night.

The sound of your muffled crying and the abrupt stop to throw up again.

The memory of your hair in my hands as I held it back, and the feeling of your shaking as I placed my hand on your back.

and the next morning you would be back to your facade.

We would be back to Satoru and Suguru.

We would be back to the missions.

Why didn’t I force you to tell me everything?

Could I have even made a difference?

Probably not.

After all, you didn’t want to be saved.

"IF YOU IF YOU
If it’s not too late
Can’t we get back together?
IF YOU IF YOU
If you’re struggling like I am
Can’t we make things a little easier?
I should’ve treated you better when I had you"

I’m doing a lot of thinking in this stupid box.

Time doesn’t pass.

I’m sure they’re all fine out there.

They’re strong.

I wonder if you’ve seen Nanami?

Remember? Nanami our junior?

Yu, his classmate. He looked up to you so much Suguru.

Always Getou this, Getou that.

He would have been an amazing sorcerer.

Just as amazing as Nanami.

I know you’re in there Suguru.

You reacted when I called for you.

You’re in there and I wonder if there’s any way I could get you to come back.

Maybe Yaga knows?

Maybe Tengen?

Oh….but your execution order.

Sometimes I forget that you were a criminal Suguru.

I forget that you were on the run.

No matter.

We can run.

We can disappear.

If I could have a second chance at you, I would take it.

Where would you want to go?

Somewhere peaceful?

Somewhere no one would disturb us.

Somewhere far away from these higher ups and their stupid rules.

Somewhere we can start anew.

Yaga would kill me.

I could deal with him later.

Nanami would be fine.

He wouldn’t understand, but I know he’d be alright.

I’d miss the students.

I have to admit these first years are pretty strong.

Fushiguro Megumi.

Toji’s kid, you know? The one that broke these chains of destiny and changed our fates.

The kid’s strong, he’ll be stronger than me some day.

Yuji Itadori

Sukuna’s vessel.

The embodiment of what it means to be a good person.

He’s got too big of a heart.

I’m afraid one day that heart of his may just break. Just like yours.

Kugisaki Nobara

Confident.

A little too angry at times but you can tell she cares about those who she lets get close.

Amazing fighter, she’ll be a force to reckon with.

All with bright futures.

"On days where thin rain falls like today
I remember your shadow
Our memories that I secretly put in my drawer
I take them out and reminisce again by myself"

I hate this Jujutsu world we live in.

This cruel world that took you away from me.

This cruel world that took away your smile.

This world that tore you apart from the inside.

Sometimes I think of your ideals

Sometimes I think of what happened to you and what you would think.

It wouldn’t have worked.

So here I am.

I hate this world that we were born into.

This world where you weren’t able to smile from the bottom of your heart.

but I’m trying to change it.

Change it for you,

I want to make it a world where you, Suguru Geto could have been happy. A world in which we could have been happy.

It’s what I owe you for failing to help you.

It’s what I owe you and Riko.

And it may take time, it may take years

But I’ll make it.

And hey, if you want to come out of wherever you’re hiding in that body of yours, you can help too.

Nanako and Mimiko

I bet they miss you so much.

Not as much as I, but close seconds.

I bet they can’t wait to see you.

"Why didn’t I know – About the weight
of sadness that comes with breaking up?"

I wonder if you ever thought of us?

I’m sure that whatever you were up to in those years of being on the run, kept you busy.

You could have visited?

You could have called?

I got a new phone but I saved your phone number anyway.

Did you delete mine?

You probably did.

After all our connection ended the day you slaughtered that village.

Or so you say.

No matter we can catch up after I leave this stupid box.

I’ll find you and I’ll get you to come out of there Suguru.

"IF YOU IF YOU
If it’s not too late
Can’t we get back together?
IF YOU IF YOU
If you’re struggling like I am
Can’t we make things a little easier?
I should’ve treated you better when I had you"

If I could have a second chance at us I would have changed it all Suguru.

I would have asked.

I would have pried .

I would have pressed.

I wouldn’t have let you walk away from me.

If only I had been strong enough.

If only I would have noticed earlier.

Ah-it looks like my time is up Suguru.

It seems they’ve been working hard out there.

Well..

I’ll see you soon Suguru.

I love you.

Notes:

Well, I hope you enjoyed that trainwreck :,). Do let me know your thoughts! OH, and do follow me on Tiktok: @Sugurustan. I need more jjk/Satosugu moots! :)