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Dean couldn't sleep, he never could these nights, he'd crawl into bed exhausted after the hours of chasing whatever creature they'd been hunting that day finally caught up with him, he’d fall into bed barely even bothering to change certain that the moment his head hit the pillow he would be out like a light, but sleep never came.
He'd toss and turn for an hour or so then carefully get up making sure not to wake up Sam still sleeping in the other bed across from him. Once up and after pulling on his boots and grabbing the keys he’d go for a walk, or a drive or out for a drink and something to eat anything to kill the time until he was reconvinced that he would finally sleep whenever it was that he tried again, it was like a nightly ritual at this point.
He turned over checking the clock on the nightstand 1am over an hour already of struggling to sleep tossing and turning his head too full of thoughts too preoccupied with what ifs and could have’s the same questions that he had been thinking about ever since, ones that he couldn't possibly know the answer to despite thinking the same thing every night for months now still trying to solve it like a puzzle even when you didn't know the picture and half of the pieces were missing.
"I miss you Cas"
He sighed into the dark room silent except for Sam's snoring.
He got out of bed and walked to the door still in sleep shorts and a t-shirt no need to get dressed, this time he wasn't going far. He grabbed the keys before leaving the room.
The Impala sat parked just outside of their door he'd reversed in earlier so he didn't even have to step off of the pavement he stared at the trunk for probably too long almost as if he was having second thoughts but the he opened it.
Castiel’s coat sat neatly folded in the trunk of the Impala safe and sound for whenever Cas would be back because he was coming back, he had to, Dean didn't know what he would do if he didn't.
He stared at that for even longer, he reached out and stroked the soft material of Cas's coat before picking it up and holding it to his chest as if it were sacred. To him it was.
He closed the trunk with a click and relocked it, tiptoeing back into the room and locking the door behind him almost like he'd never left in the first place.
Laying down again he didn't bother getting underneath the covers instead he pulled Castiel’s coat over him like a blanket and buried his face into the collar of it, it still smelt of him he breathed in that smell finding it both comforting and reminding him once again of all that he had lost.
It wasn't real Castiel was gone, his Castiel but he could pretend at least for tonight that he was here that he was alive and breathing wrapped up safe in his arms. He breathed in deeply pulling the coat around him more firmly imagining that empty coat sleeves were warm arms holding him tightly.
With that last final thought Dean slept soundly for the first time in months.
When Sam woke up the next morning, he left Dean to sleep still wrapped in and cuddling Castiel’s coat, he never once mentioned what he'd seen, relieved that Dean was finally sleeping, even going so far as pretending to be asleep in order to save him from embarrassment until he heard Dean get up leave and come back empty handed.
“Rise and Shine Sammy”
He pulled the curtains open with a smile.