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Mornings like these are hard to come by. The ones spent in the warmth that engulfs you in your bed rather than out in the cold with the rain beating off you face. However the arms that are wrapped around your midriff are the most uncommon thing about this morning.
The man who never usually sleeps, is holding you close to his chest. His warm breath coming out calmly against the back of your neck. You smile, pretending that this is how reality actually is. That you wake up every morning next to the man you love, that the world is somewhat normal and there is no war waiting for you beyond the safety of your warm bed.
It's mornings like these that make you envious of the citizens who can live out their lives day to day without the constant fear of being killed. It's mornings like these you pretend everything is okay. Like you won't be going to put your life on the line in mere hours or that it may be the last time you ever get to be this close to him again.
His stirring isn't what pulls you out of your deep thoughts, it's the soft kiss to the back of your neck. No words spoken as he pulls you impossibly closer, no words needed.
You both knew that this was a bad idea, two scouts in a relationship would never end well. The pain of loosing the other would crush you when either one of your deaths inevitably occurs. But loving made fighting the cause easier, it gave you a reason to fight your hardest, to make sure you made it back home every day.
A tear slips down your face as you imagine a world where you come home alone, without him. Your home would no longer be a home, it would be a place where you eat and sleep, but not a home. He is your home.
After losing so many of the people you care for, you can’t even begin imagine losing the one you love more than life itself. Thinking about your fallen friends and soldiers makes your heart ache and your gut twist with guilt. They had friends and family too, they had dreams they wanted to fulfil, what is so special about you that you get to survive. You know there is no point going down that rabbit hole as it will just make you feel like shit. The main thing is, you are alive and so is he, it’s no good dwelling on when you’ll lose him but to spend the time you have with him properly.
So you turn in his embrace and hold onto him that bit tighter as his scent fills your nostrils. Right now you hold onto the fact that he loves you and you love him, it’s all that really matters. His warm hands have a hold on you that helps you ground yourself remind you that he is here and he isn’t going anywhere for the time being.
“𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹?” This is all you will ever need and the sweet simple question from him helps you realise this.