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Inspired by this post
Lena was drowning. She knew she was on dry land, standing in the tower with the Superfriends, but she was also drowning. The noises of the monitors beeping, the voices making idle conversation, it all floated around her, muffled and distorted. She could see Alex and Nia, Brainy and Jonn, but it wasn’t real. Their faces wavered and warped until she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
Somewhere, in a rational part of her brain, a little voice pointed out that this was because she hadn’t slept in a week. It reminded her that no one had slept, that they were all hurting and worried, that the chatter was a defense mechanism keeping them grounded. It said that the beeping was good. It meant that everything they’d been doing was working. That the system was finding Kara.
Kara. Lena choked back a sob. No crying. There wasn’t time for that. Kara had already been gone for a week and they were no closer to getting her home. Lena stilled and straightened, doing what she’d been trained to.
Little boxes, she reminded herself.
So she packed up the pain, pushed away the fear, and put it all in a box marked for a later that would probably never come. She wrapped her heart around the only thing that would keep her standing and let the anger flow through her veins, icy and controlled, but teetering on an edge that was close to crumbling.
“What are you all doing?” Her voice shattered the quiet murmuring and caused everyone to turn to her. “How can you just sit there? Why aren’t you doing something?”
“Lena,“ Alex started, her voice soft and full of grief. “We are doing something. The program is running and we have to be-“
“Don’t you dare tell me to be patient!” Lena exploded. “She’s out there and she’s reliving her worst experience. She’s trapped and alone.”
Her sharp inhale echoed across the room. “We don’t even know if the program will work. I could have been completely wrong about how the projector works now. The protocols could be searching the wrong part of the universe or could have failed completely.”
She paced in front of the open balcony doors.
“If Ka-“ Her voice broke. “If she were here and one of us were trapped, she would fight like hell to get us back. She wouldn’t sleep or eat or do anything that didn’t help save us!”
Alex started to speak, thinking to point out that Lena hadn’t done any of those things either, but stopped as her girlfriend took her hand gently.
“Wait. Let her get it out.” Kelly murmured.
Lena continued, clearly unaware that there were tears streaming down her cheeks now.
“If she were here, she would fight for us. That’s what she does. She believes in us and when we are sure there’s nothing left worth fighting for, she gives us hope because, if this amazing, selfless woman thinks that we’re worth it, then maybe it’s actually true. Maybe under all the anger and the pain and the bitterness that life gives, there is something worth loving anyway.”
She closed her eyes. “We have DO something! After everything-“ Her jaw clenched around a sob. “I just got her back. I can’t lose her again.”
Alex winced at the brokenness in Lena’s voice and her own sobs threatened to burst out. She and Nia both moved toward Lena slowly, like they were approaching a wounded animal. Lena’s head came up as Alex neared.
“Alex,” she whispered, “I never even told her.”
Alex stilled slightly, her head cocked to the side, her brown eyes so soft and loving that Lena had to close her own to stop another round of sobs.
“Told her what, Lena?” Alex’s voice was gentle and expectant like she already knew the answer.
Lena took a shuddering breath. “I never told her how I feel. How much I love her.”
Alex nodded and smiled encouragingly. “I know, Lena.”
Lena looked back and forth between Alex and Nia. “I never told her that my heart is hers, forever and completely. That she is the best thing about every day and when I don’t see her, it’s like a piece of me is gone. That even when I was so hurt and angry and broken, there was still part of me that just wanted to be in her arms.” Her grief was palpable as she spoke.
She was vaguely aware that Alex and Nia had stopped moving and that everyone was looking at her - or maybe past her - but it was as though all the boxes had come tumbling to the floor and she couldn’t stop from sharing her greatest fears.
“What if it doesn’t work and I can’t save her? What if I let her down again?”
“Lee.”
Lena froze. Perhaps the lack of sleep was catching up because she would have sworn that she heard Kara’s voice. Her eyes snapped to Alex...who was staring at something behind Lena with a face full of relief and joy.
“Lee, you could never let me down.”
Lena spun around. There she was, standing on the balcony of the tower, her suit torn and dirty, hair limp, eyes shadowed. Lena had never seen anything more beautiful in her life.
“Kara!” The name left Lena’s mouth like a prayer, whispered hopefully into the night.
Her knees buckled as relief settled on her shoulders.
Suddenly Kara was right in front of her, one hand gripping her waist firmly to hold her up and the other laid tenderly on her face. She stared into Kara’s eyes, the blue as familiar to her as her own reflection.
“You’re here.” Lena’s voice was thick with more tears. “I- How-“ Her hand came up to mirror Kara’s and she stroked her cheek with wonder. “You’re real and you’re here?”
“I’m here. You saved me. It was your tech that found me and your tech that pulled me back.” Lena felt Kara’s thumb tracing her cheekbone. “After I made it to Earth, I could finally hear your heartbeat again. It's how I knew I was home.”
Lena’s hand tightened on Kara’s bicep.
“This isn’t how I thought we would have this conversation, but-“ Kara smiled gently at her and chuckled. “I think we’ve waited long enough.”
“You're the best part of my day too. You’re the first thing I think about every morning and the last thing at night. You are everything to me.” Kara cupped both of Lena’s cheeks in her hands. “Your heart is the greatest gift I could have ever received and I promise that I will always it safe and happy. I hope you’ll do the same for mine because I gave it to you long ago.”
Tears streamed down both of their faces as Kara poured her heart into her words. “You are my very best friend and the love of my life. I will tell you everyday-“
Kara’s voice muffled and then stopped completely as Lena captured her lips in a searing kiss. Words could wait for later.