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There was once a time when Dean Winchester had bothered writing New Year’s Resolutions. Like when he was young and still holding on to the belief that the New Year could bring good things with it, sure, but he was older now. He knew better.
Things didn’t change, he told himself. Here he was, nearly 36 years old and still doing the same thing he had done nearly all of his life. All that had changed was the type of monster to be ganked, and, of course, the fact that nearly everyone he loved was dead.
Things don’t get better.
They don’t.
But then… Then there’s Castiel. Angel of the Lord, who, despite everything, finds something to smile at. Whether it’s a small flower growing outside of the bunker or the way the snow falls and actually stays on the ground this time, Cas will put a hand on Dean’s arm and point at it and remind him that there’s beauty in the world.
Things don’t get better, but Dean was falling hard and fast for Castiel, and he was finding that harder and harder to believe.
So, for the first time in nearly fifteen years, Dean sat down with a clean sheet of paper and a pen and neatly wrote at the top of the page 2015 New Year’s Resolutions.
Dean sat staring at the blank page for what felt like hours, and he could still only come up with one. One stupid, unobtainable New Year’s Resolution, and Dean was once again convinced that the whole tradition was crap. “Dean?” he heard Sam calling, and he looked up. “What are you doing?”
“Nothin’, Sammy,” Dean grumbled bitterly, but Sam had already looked over his shoulder and smirked.
“New Year’s Resolutions?” his little brother asked, a hint of teasing in his voice, and Dean swiped the paper off his desk.
“Yeah, yeah. I know. It’s stupid.”
“No, I think it’s good. Let’s me know that you’ve made up your mind to live through the whole year.” Dean couldn’t help but smile at that. “Come up with anything yet?”
Dean sighed. “One… but it’s dumb.”
“What is it?” Dean was silent for long moment before he hurriedly wrote the resolution down on the paper. Sam smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll get it.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Sammy.”
Sam waltzed out of the room. “I would,” he called over his shoulder.
It was New Year’s Eve. The typical countdown was on with celebrities didn’t know or care about, the bottle of champagne was waiting, and Sam, of course, was nowhere to be found, leaving Dean and Cas alone with only five minutes to midnight.
“So, Cas,” Dean said, clearing his throat. “D’ya come up with any Resolutions?” Cas nodded. “What are they?”
Cas pulled a neatly folded list out of his coat pocket and unfolded it. “I, uh…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “From what I understand, it’s just normal things.”
“Can I read it?” Dean asked, and Cas shoved the list towards him. Dean could have sworn he was blushing, but he convinced himself he was just imagining things.
New Year’s Resolutions for 2015
- Find more bees.
- Pray more.
- Find my grace.
- Eat more fruit/vegetables. (Sam’s suggestion)
- Kiss Dean. (Also Sam’s suggestion.)
Dean looked up and over at Cas, who was definitely blushing. “It’s come to my understanding,” Cas murmured. “That we have to wait until midnight to do the last one, and it’s only 11: 57, so—” Dean surged forward and kissed Cas’s lips. “We should wait…”
Dean smirked. “You know I’ve never been one for following the rules, Cas,” he replied, and then Cas was kissing him this time. They hadn’t stopped kissing until after the countdown had led the whole world – or their whole time zone, rather – into the New Year. Dean pulled away first to look at Cas, who was all big, blue eyes and swollen lips and messy hair and pure perfection.
“Did you have any Resolutions?” Cas asked, voice perfectly deep and rough.
Dean nodded and pulled the list out of his pocket. “One,” he read. “Get Cas.” He set it down and shrugged. “That’s it. That’s all.” Cas smiled wide. “So, I guess I can say that 2015 is already a success.” He nearly jumped out of his skin when Sam blew a party blower in his ear and popped a confetti popper. Cas laughed, so Dean couldn’t find it in himself to get angry.
Things don’t change, he realized, not as a whole, and not all at once. Maybe all you need is someone to push you forward.