Work Text:
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I won't do for your kiss
Mark had known that it would only be a matter of days before Addie left him. He knew he had messed up. He hadn't been able to help himself from the moment that Addie had said she wasn't going to keep the baby, their baby. He knew he should have stayed faithful, proven to her that he would be a good father, but he also knew that that wouldn't have saved their relationship when all Addison wanted to do was go to find her husband, no matter how badly Mark wanted her to stay with him.
So, in reality, he shouldn't have been surprised when she left him a note telling him that she was going to be going to find her husband, his best friend and that he shouldn't follow her. However, despite his infidelity, he truly believed that he and Addison were meant to be together and for that reason, he chose to ignore her wishes. He was going after. He loved her. He had loved her for longer than he should have, given that she was his best friend's wife, but he no longer wanted to hide the fact he loved her.
I love you like there's no tomorrow
Cause nothing ever felt like this
Almost immediately, Mark hit his first issue. He had no idea where to find them. Addie had done well to cover her tracks, she must have known that Mark would follow her immediately, if given the chance, so she simply hadn't told anyone where she was going, except their boss. However, Mark wouldn't give up that easily. He couldn't, not if he wanted to win Addison back.
So he kept calling people, asking after not only Addison but Derek as well, figuring if he found one of them, he would find both of them. He wanted Derek back in his life as well, they had been best friends, brothers even, for so long, so to go this long without talking to him was torture for Mark. He knew he deserved Derek's hatred but that didn't make it any easier on him.
There's nothing I won't steal or borrow
I'll travel on a boat or aeroplane
It took him three long weeks to finally find them, through whisperings of a dirty mistress in Seattle, at Seattle Grace Hospital. This, he decided, must be the same Dirty Mistress that he and Addie had heard about while they were together, Derek's new woman. So he made an excuse to be there, finding a patient in Seattle who could have been treated by any doctor, and deciding that they needed the full Mark Sloan treatment.
The next step had been to call Richard Webber, and book himself a flight to Seattle. He had prepared a whole speech about why Doctor Webber needed him there for this surgery, but the man had practically jumped at the chance, offering him full surgical privileges for the duration of his trip, which would take place just ten days later, giving him time to make arrangements for his own practice while he was gone, including rearranging certain surgeries so that he could be out of town for as long as he needed.
I'll explore a world of sorrow
Cause when I find you I know, I know I'ma be okay
Mark didn't think he'd ever actually experienced heartbreak before unless you counted the death of his grandmother, but that was a very different type of heartbreak. That heartbreak had been unavoidable. He could have stopped Addison leaving. He could have remained loyal to her to convince her that he was worthy of being with her, that he was better than Derek and he had betrayed her instead and it broke his heart, and possibly hers, although he didn't think she had ever truly loved him the way that he loved her.
He knew he had to get her back, Derek would never truly forgive her for the betrayal that had happened, even if his absence had been the primary cause of it. Derek had been absent for the better part of two years and it meant that Mark had spent more time with Addie than Derek had, keeping her company on birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmases, had it been any shock that they had fallen into each other's beds? Honestly, no. Addie made everything better, she made him not want to be a manwhore anymore.
See the times are changing
And I'm sure of nothing that I know
Except this is us, and this is love, and this is where I'm home
Arriving in Seattle, Mark felt as though he was home. Mark, 'lives breathes, and eats New York City', Sloan, felt home. It wasn't because he'd been there before, although he had on several occasions. It was because he knew he was closer to Addie, to the woman that he loved and he would not be leaving again without her. He couldn't lose her again, even if she was no longer having their baby.
Yes, the idea of starting a family together had frightened Mark, but he had grown used to it, started looking forward to being a father, and then she had told him that she didn't want to have a baby with him, that the only baby she wanted to have was Derek's and it had broken him. That was why he had slept with someone else, but in his eyes, it didn't mean that he loved her any less. He loved her with his whole heart if this was what love was. He still wasn't entirely sure, but he had never felt this way before.
In a world that's breaking, where nothing is for keeps
Oh this is us, this is love and this is where I sleep
This is us, this is love and this is where I sleep
Marks world was broken, it had been since the start of his affair with Addison. He had been broken since the moment he decided to break Derek's trust and sleep with his wife. It had gotten more broken the minute that Derek had found out and then it had shattered when Derek had told his family what had happened. Mark had gone from a large family who cared about him, to only Addison in under a day and it had truly broken him.
And then, as if nothing could get any worse, Addison left. Addison left to chase after the husband who had started an affair in Seattle. After the husband who had been so cruel to her over the last few years. After a man who wasn't him. Mark couldn't let that go, he needed her, because without her he was all alone. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He couldn't do it.
I'm from a generation undecided
I'm restless and I can't help changing lanes
Looking around Seattle-Tacoma 'SeaTac' Airport, Mark debated with just going back to New York. Addie had already had weeks to return to him and she hadn't yet, so did he really stand a chance? There was a chance that when he arrived at the hospital, he would find Derek and Addison back together, stronger than ever, and he wasn't sure that his heart could take that.
Still, he moved through the airport towards the taxi rank, ordering a car to the hotel he had booked, the Archfield, which was apparently the nicest hotel close to Seattle Grace. He debated with finding a bar, having a drink and just treating this as a work trip like he used to, finding a pretty girl to spend the night with. Just ignoring the fact that he came here for Addison, ignoring the Shepherds completely, and pretending that he didn't know they were there before he booked his trip.
But in all the noise and the excitement
Your love is all that will remain
Then he took a look at his phone, at the photos of him and Addie together and how happy they looked. He couldn't be there and not say anything to here. If there was a chance that his feelings were returned, that she had even the slightest bit of love for him, then he couldn't leave her there. He would prove it to her this time, prove that he could be loyal. He wanted to be with her, no matter how much it hurt Derek.
I've said all of my goodbyes to ego
I gambled all I got, there's no plan B
It was true, Mark had no contingency plan. No idea what he'd do if Addison said she wouldn't come back to New York with him. Would he be willing to give up his home for her, to stay in Seattle to pick up the pieces when Derek inevitably broke her heart? Honestly, for her? He thought that he could. He would be the bigger person to show her that he loved her.
He settled himself in the bed at the Archfield, deciding against going to the bar, against pulling some random girl to make him feel better about himself before he saw Addison in the morning, before he saw the man who once considered him a brother, before he made a move that would change his whole life. He let himself fall asleep, although he slept fitfully, anxious for the morning.
It's the first time that I've learnt to let go
It's the only place I feel, only place I feel like me
The next morning, Mark made sure that he was dressed so that he looked his best. His clothing wasn't intended to make him look smart, he didn't need that, credentials speaking for him, but instead to look ruggedly handsome, to remind Addie of what she was missing. He got into a cab to Seattle Grace and moved through the lobby, spotting Addison and Derek and noticing Dereks eyes on a blonde girl who must have been an intern. His dirty mistress? Possibly.
He made his way over to her, peeping over her shoulder at the file before clearing his throat and muttering, "Invasive non-small-cell with a history of COPD. That's pretty much a goner, right?" with his signature smirk. This was going to be fun.
See the times are changing
I'm sure of nothing that I know
Except this is us and this is love, and this is where I'm home
In a world that's breaking, where nothing is for keeps
Oh this is us, this is love and this is where I sleep
This is us, this is love and this is where I sleep