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"I hate you."
The words fall from Beomgyu's lips like acrid venom, burning and toxic and acidic. Hot tears spill from his eyes, flowing down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry."
Beomgyu looks on silently as Soobin leaves him with those two final words, uttered with melancholy and wistfulness—like a wish for the past that they no longer had, the joyful past that had been replaced by monotonous days spent with someone they no longer loved.
As Soobin's departure sinks in, Beomgyu finds himself in the middle of a living room once filled with warmth, now cold. The sounds of the TV fill the silence left in Soobin's wake, a dramatic love confession in a drama playing.
His mind is a chaotic tangle of hurt and twisted relief, warring for dominance—hurt from being abandoned, left all alone; and relief from not having to be the one who did the breaking, escaping the heavy burden that it would cause.
Not for the first time, Beomgyu finds himself reminiscing late night cuddles and warm kisses and secret smiles reserved for each other, reminiscing falling in love all over again whenever he saw Soobin, all the while wondering where it all went wrong—
Was it when the sight of each other no longer wrought warmth from their hearts? Was it when their kisses no longer overflowed with passion, instead replaced by cold tedium? Was it when they started drifting, caught in a current that brought them farther away from each other as time ticked by?
And in the chaos that is his mind, Beomgyu wonders and wonders, never truly knowing, but at least he has the memories to keep him company, no matter how distant and painful and impossible they may now be.