Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jeongguk isn’t expecting much to come of this date, only having agreed to this because his friends expressed concern about the amount of time he’s been spending by himself lately. What he definitely wasn’t anticipating was for his neighbour to plop down on the seat across from his, a bashful grin pulling at his lips.

“Hi?” It’s a question, he vocalises the greeting like it is a question on purpose. He needs some clarity. 

Said neighbour, however, does not appear to be bothered by the turn of events.

“Kim Joohyuk right? I’m Kim Taehyung,” he says, holding out his hand. 

Not right. He’s never met a Kim Joohyuk in his life, and he definitely isn’t one. 

When he takes a little too long to offer his own hand in greeting, he sees panic begin to take shape on Taehyung’s face and a tell-tale flush of embarrassment dust his cheeks. 

Something about it, seeing his pretty neighbour distressed, seems to obliterate each and every working braincell he possesses - just as Taehyung is about to profusely apologise for the blunder, Jeongguk takes his hand. 

“Nice to meet you.”

His shoulders sag in relief and it’s enough to console Jeongguk’s conscience a little bit. 

Still a little perplexed by his neighbour being his blind date and the rather confident use of the wrong name, Jeongguk busies himself with the menu. He can’t help but steal glances though. 

He really lives up to the ‘pretty neighbour’ moniker. Wisps of silver hair fall prettily into his face, some of the strands long enough to reach his eyes - almond shaped eyes that are as big as they are pretty. There is something about the definition of his jawline, his cheekbones and nose that are so aesthetically pleasing he has to stop himself from leaning over and trailing his fingers across the curves of them. Lip balm lined lips makes them look incredibly pink and soft and he just knows every word that falls from them is so pretty, it has to be. 

And none of this is new, these are things he has already noticed, a privilege borne from residing in the house across the street from him.

He does, however, notice the new additions. The silver earrings dangling from more piercings than he knew Taehyung had, the light layer of eyeshadow dusting his eyelids and the pretty array of rings that grace his fingers. Unlike Jeongguk he isn’t wearing a suit, and yet Jeongguk can’t help but think he looks so much more expensive in his black, monochrome fit. An onyx turtleneck neatly tucked into his pants, with an oversized coat on top. But it's the black beret that really sends Jeongguk reeling, something about the way it looks atop his argent locks makes his heart shudder in his chest. 

“You look really pretty.” It’s blurted out before he has the sense to stop himself. 

Yet he can’t find it in himself to regret it, not when Taehyung’s face is overcome with one of the cutest smiles Jeongguk has ever seen. It’s a… square? Yeah square is the best way he could put it, four corners containing unadulterated happiness. He decides then and there it is his favourite smile in the world. 

“You too, I really like your mole.”

“My mole?”

Jeongguk can see the way his face pulls into a grimace as realisation of the peculiarity of his statement dawns - but not a second later, he sits up and squares his shoulders. “Yes, that mole right under your lip. It’s very…. Exciting to look at.”

Jeongguk will bite, “Exciting in what sense?”

“It just invokes that sort of response,” Taehyung says, waving his hand.

“Well I think your mole is pretty solid too?”

This pulls a giggle out of him, a giggle that contrasts so prettily with his velvety voice when he speaks. “Solid, really?”

“It’s there, 10 points for participation,” Jeongguk explains, even adding a little clap at the end. 

The grin is smaller this time, but just as fond, and it bolsters his confidence a bit.

“So what brings someone like you to a place like this?” He leans forward, gaze boring into the other man’s eyes as his bent elbow on the table supports his face resting on his hand. 

“See I told my best friend a menace like me wouldn’t blend into a luxurious establishment such as this,” Taehyung agrees, gesturing to the general space around them.

Jeongguk is thankful that he caught onto the little bit he was doing, and that he is playing along with him. 

His eyes scan over the place though, too much of a nervous ball of energy to have done it earlier, but he has to admit his friends did a good job of picking a really nice place. In fact they did such a great job he feels like his black suit is sort of overkill - a little bit out of place against the greenery and fairy lights that makes up most of the place’s decor. Wooden chairs and tables, rectangular lanterns and soft looking fabric suspended from the air add to the rustic vibe of the place. Still, the cutlery seems expensive and the aroma’s from the food smell clean and fresh. Charming would be the best word for it. 

He can’t help but think that the man sitting across from him can be described in the very same way. “I think you fit in here just fine.”

Taehyung must notice the softness of his gaze - his friends have told him it’s a thing he does when he is crushing hard - as soon as their eyes meet, he ducks his head.

Jeongguk wonders if it’s realistic to fall in love with someone in the first five minutes of a date. Probably not. 

He can still feel irrevocably fond though. 

“What about you?” Taehyung prompts, this time a little more ready to meet his gaze. 

“Hmm?”

Taehyung mirrors his earlier motion, leaning forward in interest, he forgoes the old school rom com voice though. “What brings you on this date?”

“My best friend and my hyung’s insistence if I’m being completely transparent. You?”

He nods understandingly, grey hair swaying with the movement. “Same, not the hyung part though. I’m the oldest sibling.”

And from there the conversation easily flows into family. He learns that Taehyung has a younger brother and sister, parents he is really close to and a dog named Yeontan. When he gets out his phone to show Jeongguk pictures of said dog, he is practically bursting at the seams with excitement. It’s not at all good for Jeongguk’s heart. 

He thinks if he kept a tally of the amount of times he felt like a bolt of fondness hit him right in the chest, he would run out of space. 

They’re in the middle of looking through his Tannie album, Taehyung cooing at his own dog’s adorably prominent ‘eyebrows’ when the waiter comes over to ask if they’re ready to order. After a brief surveyance of the menu and keen to try something new, they both decide to order the mentaiko pasta and they ask the waiter to bring whichever drinks she recommends. 

The drinks end up being house specials - a strawberry soju cocktail and a soju mojito. Their waiter places the former in front of Jeongguk, much to Taehyung’s chagrin. Ever the gentleman, though, he takes the mojito with a smile - and that smile does not leave his lips until he gets the taste of his drink.

Jeongguk can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him when he sees Taehyung’s lips purse in distaste. 

“Would you like to swap?” he offers. 

Bashful, Taehyung takes the glass from him, sliding over the other one. 

Despite enjoying mojitos in the past, Taehyung’s reaction to it, makes the brunet’s first sip a cautious one. But as soon as the taste of it hits his tongue he knows there’s nothing to be cautious about. It’s the refreshing lemon and mint taste he loves, even a hint sweeter - he supposes it’s because the white rum had been switched out for soju. 

His date makes a little humming sound of approval at the back of his throat. It’s just as sweet as the cocktail he is drinking. 

“So, I take it you like?”

Taehyung takes a sip before responding, “So much. Anything strawberry flavoured is an automatic win in my book.”

“Noted.”

He knows what he means: I would really like to see more of you so I’m storing this information for future purposes. He hopes Taehyung gets what he means, and that it is mutual.

But if he does catch on, his expression doesn’t give anything away.  Instead, he tells Jeongguk about the strawberry farm his grandma owns and what life was like growing up in Daegu. Now and then his satoori slips in as he reminisces and Jeongguk can’t help but think it is his favourite dialect (Busan’s dialect - his home town - included).

He asks Jeongguk about his upbringing; and seems surprised when Jeongguk reveals he isn’t originally from Seoul but moved here when he was really young. When Taehyung asks if he misses it, he confesses that he can’t miss much from when he was ten years old but he does hold a soft spot for the sea. He surprises himself when he elaborates on how he sees the sea as an anchor, a constant in a life that always seems to be hustling and bustling. 

“I’ve never seen the sea in that way, it’s always so big and so strong it sort of terrifies me,” Taehyung admits. 

Jeongguk shrugs. “That’s sort of what I like about it, how big it is. I mean it’s comforting in a sense you know, the vastness of it. Is that weird?”

Taehyung is quick to interject with a string of ‘no no nos’. “I think that’s a pretty cool way of looking at it honestly, I guess then the moon would be for me, what the sea is to you.”

Before he can explain, the waiter brings their food and when Taehyung sends his compliments to the chef before they’ve even tried the food, Jeongguk is certain he is one of the sweetest people he has ever met. 

The mentaiko pasta he, based on visuals alone, would categorise it as pink spaghetti. And apparently his date agrees - “We should totally re-enact the lady and the tramp scene.”

Recalling that scene from the movie has him almost choking on his food - gulping down some of his mojito to aid in his attempt to stop coughing. 

“Or not.” He doesn’t seem offended by his reaction, just humoured. 

“Wouldn’t want our first kiss to be cod flavoured and all,” he says in an attempt to save himself. Though when he realises the implication of his words - basically telling him he wants a first kiss (which translates to assuming there will be more to follow) he thinks he can give the pasta a run for its money with the coral colour he knows is splotching his neck and face. 

“Good call,” is all the response he gets. Though a knowing smile tells Jeongguk that Taehyung had inferred the very same. 

Thankfully, conversation quickly picks up, though this time it’s much more first date-esque. Taehyung excitedly telling him that Virgos and Capricorns are a match made in heaven, has him all giddy and he doesn’t even take astrology seriously. Though something about the idea of the stars aligning just for them to be happy together has the romantic inside of him feeling some type of way. When his date tells him that he is an artist, by occupation, Jeongguk is ready to do a full bow in front of his friends. 

“That’s incredible, it can’t be easy breaking into such an industry,” Jeongguk commends. 

Taehyung lets another one of those big, boxy smiles spring free and his heart literally jumps. “Thank you, it’s not always easy I’ll admit, but the work is worth it since I’m getting to do what I love, you know? Though I can’t deny I did have some luck on the way, since a friend’s family’s gallery was my first big shot.”

He tells Jeongguk about his best friend, Jimin, and how he'd been the one to really push Taehyung to go on this date. Apparently it was time for Taehyung to 'get out of his comfort zone'. Jeongguk nods empathetically, he gets it. Though his friends' opined that his crush on his neighbour was not a 'love life' since he made no attempts to pursue it. Jeongguk wasn't going to share that information on a date though, especially not a date with said neighbour.

"So what do you do, I'm guessing something in the commerce industry?" He twirls the pasta around his fork as he watches Jeongguk.

Jeongguk's tone drops a few octaves, speaking in a hushed tone he asks, "Are you psychic?"

Taehyung laughs. "No, just observant. You seem especially comfortable in a suit, so my top guesses are commerce, law or serial dater."

"There any reason for forsaking the last two options?"

A quick clap of his hands follows, he clasps them and leans forward. "Thank you for asking! So my skills of deduction were aided by first, you don't have that aura of arrogance I've noticed lawyers seem to carry around with them-"

"A bit biased no?" he interjects.

Taehyung hums. "What are humans if not all our little imperfections haphazardly thrown together into a singular vessel?"

A rather pretty vessel if you ask Jeongguk.

"Good point, please continue," he says, gesturing for him to go on.

"What was I saying? Oh yeah, the superiority complexes those in law possess. Don't get me wrong I've seen entrepreneurs, managers and even business students who also clearly feel they are above us mere peasants, but I've come to learn it feels a little more practiced than with lawyers."

"So what I'm hearing is you don't think I'm an egotistical asshole?"

"Exactly," Taehyung winks.

It immediately has Jeongguk gulping. It’s almost painful - taking in that much oxygen - but he needs it. As cliche as it sounds, all the air has just been knocked out of his lungs.

"And that's why I didn't go with serial dater," Taehyung says, giggling around the rim of his cocktail glass.

That only serves to fluster him more, cheeks heating up. He takes a large swing of his own drink.

"You thinking I'm not cool sort of cancels out the compliment you gave me earlier."

"Coolness is overrated, I'd rather be dead than cool."

Jeongguk is ready to drop on his knees and propose and also maybe give this man the blowjob of his life, if there was one thing he learned in university, it is that he is rather orally skilled. It's not even about him quoting a Nirvana song, which does get him brownie points, obviously. But it's the fact that he quoted the exact line Jeongguk has tattooed on his arm.

He is so tempted to roll up his sleeves and show him just as much but he doubts it is good first date etiquette to just reveal oneself so he tucks that information away promptly instead.

"Cheers to that." They clink their glasses together, the little of what's left of Taehyung's cocktail swooshing around the glass.

Taehyung excuses himself to the bathroom a few moments later, and Jeongguk takes a moment to fucking breathe. Like serious breaths, the type where you hold it for a few seconds, just to placate some of the excitement bubbling under the surface of his skin. It's only the first date, please get a hold of yourself , he mentally scolds.

Taking off his jacket makes it a little easier to breathe. He is itching to tie up his hair too but he swore to his best friends that he would let 'his hair breathe' he personally thinks his hair does just fine when tied up but according to them it isn't the look he is going for. So he settles for just running his fingers through it a few times. It probably messes up some of the meticulous styling Seokjin had done but he thinks his hyung will cut him some slack considering Taehyung looks like that .

He turns the moment Taehyung returns, he sees Taehyung's eyes scan over their table and give a little nod to himself. When he sits down his eyes narrow, a scrutinizing gaze that is more curious and focused than anything else on him.

"Is there something on my face?" he asks, immediately self conscious.

His question snaps Taehyung out of the minor daze he was in. "No, it’s just, your hair is different."

Jeongguk lets out a breath of relief.

"I know I said this before but you're really observant," he notes. He'd only threaded his fingers through his hair maybe four times at most, expecting not much of a difference.

"It makes for good art." His words are tinged with just a little nervousness, barely noticeable but it's there.

Jeongguk's natural curiosity wants to ask, but he tames himself in and instead tells Taehyung he was right about guessing his occupation.

He visibly relaxes, even throwing a victorious fist in the air. "So, start up or family business?"

"The latter," he sighs. Family business is putting it lightly, but he was put under strict orders to not mention that he was a chaebol heir, lest his date be interested in his money more than him.

"You don't sound too happy about it."

"It's just," he pauses, tries to think of the best way to word it, "it's not like I'm ungrateful you know? I am aware that I'm incredibly lucky that my family has a successful business where I know a job is assured. I just don't.."

"You don't love it."

"Yeah."

Taehyung's fingers thrum on the table, he seems to hesitate for a minute before asking, "Can I?"

Jeongguk isn't exactly sure of what he is agreeing to but he thinks this man could ask for a kidney and he'd definitely strongly consider it. So he bobs his head, yes.

Taehyung's pretty fingers, covered in sterling rings, reach over and he places a comforting palm over his hand that had been resting on the table. "I don't think I could say anything that would make you feel better but I've been told I'm an excellent listener."

And Jeongguk appreciates it, really he does. But he is also incapable of having so much attention on him, especially with his own problems laid out in front of him like a five course meal. "You just wanted an excuse to hold my hand."

And Taehyung, a god amongst mortals in his humble opinion, plays right along. "You caught me," he gasps, feigning shock.

The rest of the dinner is them exchanging stories about university, Taehyung explaining how graduating was both a relief and the scariest thing ever and Jeongguk talking about how his Master's can and will send him into an early grave. The bill comes and goes, an easy choice to split it between them, though a part of him had hoped Taehyung would have offered to pay if only to have an opening to suggest getting drinks on him or even to cover the second date. But alas, there was none of that.

"Hey, you don't happen to have plans right now right? Like for this exact moment and the hours that follow?" Taehyung asks as they both exit the restaurant.

Jeongguk shakes his head, and even if he did have plans, he knows how to prioritize.

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

He wonders if Taehyung is inherently intuitive, the type of person who picks up naturally on what others are feeling, because while the date was lovely - fresh air is exactly what he needs. Too feint of heart to handle someone like Kim Taehyung in a limited space it seems.

"I really would."

Taehyung's boldness to ask bolsters up some courage in him too, so he holds out his palm for him. He knows holding hands is sort of intimate for a first date, especially with someone who is practically a stranger, but the urge to hold his hand outweighs it all. Luck must be on his side since Taehyung intertwines their fingers with a smile.

Deoksugung Doldam-gil can only be described as a natural wonderland, especially in August. Golden and deep red foliage are scattered along the road and dress the tree branches hanging overhead. In a city like Seoul, with all it's moving parts and high rise buildings, a proper view of the stars is hard to come by but tonight they're bewitching.

"It's a pity the moon isn't out tonight," he tells Taehyung, remembering what he had mentioned earlier.

"It's a new moon, signifies new beginnings."

"For the first time in my life, my timing for something seems to be right," he laughs.

Taehyung doesn't say anything, opting to lightly tighten his grip on Jeongguk's hand. The latter does the same.

When conversation picks up as they stroll, they take a turn for the... strange. But not bad. He gets bombarded with questions about his fears, his favourite soup and the top five songs that would make up the playlist of his life (getting eaten alive, gamjatang and that is information privy only to himself and the people he feels comfortable enough around to not feel embarrassed by it - in that order).

"I haven't somehow gotten you to entrust your life to me in a few hours? Damn it." He even goes as far as to kick a stray pebble to show his 'frustration'.

Funny enough, Jeongguk thinks, it's sort of crazy just how comfortable he feels around him. Someone he could see himself trusting with his life. He has never been someone who found conversation easy, especially outside his circle of friends. But tonight with Taehyung, the words just sort of spill out of him. Well thankfully not all of them, first dates are way too soon to be waxing poetic. He doesn't care how much Namjoon, his best friend, repeats that time is a social construct - he will stick to some form of dating etiquette. Which is also why he doesn't share any of his internal monologue with his date.

"I think that's more second date territory," he muses, lips quirking up.

Taehyung actually takes the time to look over at him, holding his gaze with intention. "Are we breaching that territory?"

And that look is on his face again, the look he had when he introduced himself and when he returned to the table - a look of vulnerability, doubt. Jeongguk wants nothing more than to invoke a smile again.

Acting purposefully obtuse for the sake of entertainment, lucky for him, was a skill he easily honed as being the youngest in his home. "You mean tonight or?"

"No like a," a deep breath breaks his sentence, "like a second date?"

Jeongguk almost wants to stall answering, if only to see the extent of his blush. However, Taehyung basically confirming he wants a second date appeases his own anxiety and he also really just wants to see him again.

"Definitely."

They talk a little more as they stroll, but mostly he just enjoys it. Soaks in the feeling of what he assumes makes romcoms so timeless, it's this feeling - the lightness that comes with meeting someone who both intrigues you but also just sort of gets you, all the same.

When the stroll ends, they exchange numbers and take cabs going in the opposite directions. Taehyung goes home and Jeongguk goes to his best friend's place. He needs to yell to someone about how great Taehyung is, and he knows how thin his walls are, he can't do it at home when he lives right next door.

"Wait, what about the guy you were supposed to meet?" Namjoon asks immediately after Jeongguk gives them an extensive retelling of his date.

"Really Joon, that's what you got from all of this?" Seokjin smacks him upside the head, not too hard though, wouldn't want to damage the brain cells the group depends on. "Jeongguk just told us he had a date with the potential love of his life and you care about some random guy?"

"We were the ones who organised the date, he was a friend of a friend! Now my friends are going to think Jeongguk is a dickhead," he defends, rubbing the spot that had just been whacked.

"He is okay with that," Seokjin says, gesturing to Jeongguk's lovestruck daze. He's been told he is the type of person who wears their heart on a sleeve, face completely giving away how he feels, so with the way his heart feels like it's ready to leap out of his chest and take a taxi all the way to Taehyung's place - he can only imagine what he looks like.

"I'm okay with that," he confirms, nodding enthusiastically. He doesn't mention that he was actually the one who was stood up, since no one else had approached him that evening, and he'd been there for a couple of minutes before Taehyung had arrived. 

Namjoon sighs, easily accepting he lost this round. Rationality is sadly not a valued trait in their trio. Still though he can't help but play his 'voice of reason' role.

"So we're also not going to talk about Taehyung calling him the wrong name and completely ignoring that they're neighbours?" he asks.

Seokjin waves off his concerns. "Maybe this was him giving Jeongguk like a second chance at a first impression lord knows if they'd taken pre-existing feelings into the date it could have gone south very quickly."

Jeongguk agrees with him, it's the only reasonable conclusion to come to. Why else would Taehyung act like they were complete strangers, not that they were familiar with each or anything. Acquaintances even seemed too strong of a word.

"What's the deal with that anyway, never expected you of all people to have beef with your neighbour?"

The youngest wishes he had a proper answer for Namjoon, but truth be told he doesn't know why their relationship is so strained considering they haven't even had a proper conversation past Taehyung telling Jeongguk the walls were pretty thin. Well, that could be a contributing factor. Jeongguk as a person isn't all too loud but he had a penchant for blasting music so loud it penetrated his being and the people he brought home weren't exactly quiet, which he took as a compliment, but he supposes that it's not the best thing to listen to. All these things considered though, he still doesn't understand why Taehyung barely returns the smiles or waves he'd try to send his way or even those looks he'd give Jeongguk - like he was scrutinizing him.

He'd never conjured the gallantry to actually ask Taehyung about it though, resigning himself to simply pining for him and stealing glances of Taehyung emptying his bin with his bed head or seeing him set up an easel on his lawn and get to, what he now knows is, work. He'd thought it was just a hobby at first but knowing he was successful enough to support himself with his art alone was awe-inducing.

This was okay before, when it was just a crush he didn't think would amount to anything. Now though, now they've gone on a date, now he stands a chance and it makes him feel like he's just reached the highest point of a rollercoaster.

"I guess it was just me catching him on a bad day and the impression of me kinda stuck?" he suggests.

Seokjin's features pull into a glare. "Well that's not fair."

"Maybe, maybe not. We have more important matters at hand like us deciding how long I should wait till I ask him on a second date."

Namjoon and Seokjin share the same look of astonishment.

"What?"

"No no it's nothing bad, we're just.."

"Surprised, we're just surprised," Namjoon jumps in, the thumbs up he gives Seokjin not at all subtle. The older almost smacks him upside the head again. Seeing his hyung's unimpressed look, he continues, "You're just usually not the one who takes the initiative. I can't remember the last time you were on a date when you took someone else out and not vice versa."

He's not wrong. Jeongguk could count the amount of dates he has been on with his own two hands, and all of them were people asking him on a date. There was no particular reason for it, he just always knew that when he took a position in his family's company he wouldn't really have time to do the whole getting-to-know-each other thing, so he was sort of waiting for the person worth putting in all the effort now; and thus far no one was what he was looking for. No one piqued his interest in that way. Until, tonight.

He does know that it may all be rooted in superficial desire, with Taehyung being one of the prettiest people he's ever seen. This includes that time he watched Chandler's top 100 most handsome faces of 2019. Kim Taehyung gave all of them a run for their money. 

But even beyond that, there was something mystifying about him. Not necessarily in the sense that he was doing something sketchy or suspicious. There was just something peculiar about the way he'd see Taehyung staring at himself in the mirror, staring intently the same way Namjoon would stare at his flash cards while studying, from his bedroom's window since they were right across from one another. He's also noticed that the man in question's friend group, including Taehyung himself, were all sporting unnatural hair colours. It was in no way a smoking gun, many people like to dye their hair, but all four of them? Especially since they were all adults who he assumed had jobs. It wasn't completely impossible for all of them to work in industries which allowed them to be more liberal with their presentation but he found it highly unlikely. There's also his inexplicable grudge against Jeongguk that perplexed the latter. None of them really mean anything, together and apart, they just raise questions.

"Just be careful yeah?" Seokjin adds. When he leans over to ruffle Jeongguk's hair, the younger catches a whiff of his cologne. The fresh scent of fig leaves is comforting in the same way his actions are.

"Don't go falling too hard too fast Jeongguk-ah," His words are said warmly but Jeongguk doesn't miss the cautioning tone lingering.

Too late hyung, too late.

●～●

He ends up spending the night at their place, not wanting to burden his hyungs with driving him home and Seokjin refusing to let him Uber that late. He told them he wouldn’t mind catching the bus, but he’d had a few more drinks at Namjoon’s place and the older didn’t want him stumbling home in that state.

When he gets home, Taehyung is watering his plants. Figuring there is no time like the present, he steels his resolve, and marches over. His horrendous timing once again bares it's annoying head - just as he steps onto the walkway in front of Tae's place, the other makes his way inside. But he didn't come all this way (a measly 15 steps but still) just to come all this way. So after a deep breath, maybe two, he knocks on the door.

He can hear Taehyung scurrying to the door, something about it rather endearing, just before it swings over.

The look he is greeted with has his heart dropping. He can almost hear the plopping sound it makes as it figuratively hits the tiles of Taehyung's porch. A stranger. Taehyung is looking at him like he has no recollection of him at all.

"I'm Jeongguk, your neighbour?" He tries, desperately hoping last night wasn't a figment of his imagination or something. "Also the guy you-"

He doesn't get to finish, too distracted by recognition flashing across Taehyung's face. "Oh yeah of course, do you need something?"

Oh nothing just to ask you on a second date which you do not seem interested in at all .

For a minute he stares straight into the other's eyes, trying to find any sort of inkling of the Taehyung he was on a date with yesterday. But all he is met with is vague recognition and a smile that seems more perfunctory than anything else.

"I just wanted to apologise." The words are uttered before he even knows where he is going with it. He hopes he doesn't look as confused as Taehyung clearly is.

"For being a bad neighbour," he elaborates, "I know sometimes I can be a bit loud and it could have impacted us starting off on the wrong foot. I know this is a bit delayed since we've been neighbours for a few months now but I just thought I should say sorry for not being more thoughtful."

He doesn't know why he hadn't done it on their date, supposes it's because he was so swept up in it and Taehyung but it feels good to have done it.

"Apology accepted, I would invite you in for coffee but I have an online meeting in a few minutes so I need to go," he says, apologetic as he points to the AirPods in his ears.

Jeongguk shakes his head, "No worries, see you?"

"Definitely." The grin accompanying his words is relatively small to that of the previous night but just as pretty.

Entering his own home, he can't help but feel a little disconcerted. Their interaction was nice enough as far as neighbours talking goes but it almost feels like the date had never happened and he wonders if he did somehow dream it all up. It seems ridiculous to even entertain the idea but he doesn't know how else to look at it to understand what his and Taehyung's relationship actually is.

It feels like he is trying to do a puzzle, but there's a puzzle piece missing and that one piece is absolutely crucial to really see the full picture. It plagues him even when he tries to make his way through his emails. The only way he's been able to delay taking up the 'coveted' position waiting for him in his family business has been by pursuing his academic career. He is currently completing his masters in business administration, a condition set by his parents - if he was to pursue further education it would have to be in the commerce industry.

In return he gets to live a comfortable life with a job secured through nepotism, which doesn't bother him only because he has been trained for his position since he entered high school. He has no doubt that he'll do well, he knows the company inside out and he has a pretty good grasp on managerial skills.

It's just not fulfilling, not in the slightest. He doesn't really have another option though, nothing has really struck any sort of strong desire in his heart to pursue it. But he feels like there should be something, something he could do with his life that would make him feel alive. Or at least feel something .

The little ping signalling a notification from his phone saves him from mindlessly going through his course advisor's feedback on the current status of his paper. Out of his periphery he sees the sun is beginning to set and it startles him how quickly the day has passed. Haphazardly throwing his phone on the couch and putting his laptop on sleep mode he gets up to stretch his legs and to get something to eat. He's starved.

His fridge tells him two things. First, he needs to go grocery shopping this week and second, kimchi jjigae it is. While his stew boils he remembers the notification from earlier, he doesn't think it will be anything important, all of his friends much more likely to call if they really wanted to reach him.

When he sees the message is from Taehyung his body seems to spasm, he almost drops his phone, but somehow manages to catch it with his other hand, completely forgetting that hand was holding the metal chopsticks he had been using, having them fly out of his hands and then fall and burn him on the neck as he was crouched down holding his phone.

"FUCKING HELL."

When he tries to get back up his hand slips on some of the liquid that fell with the chopsticks, resulting in him landing on his back.

For a moment he wonders if this is karma for something he'd done, maybe for lying about breaking his mom's expensive vase that one time or telling Namjoon that the copious amounts of hair gel was totally working for him when they were in high school. He also considers if someone has a vendetta against him and is sending the bad energy his way. It has to be one of these, so he can blame the universe for conspiring against him. Because if not he'd have to accept he was a dumbass and that was just not an option.

The sound of someone knocking at his door annoys him even further, he definitely does not have the energy for that right now but he musters the energy to lift himself up. 

He doesn't know why seeing the reason for his earlier plummet to the ground standing in front of him startles him so much, they're neighbours. It happens.

"Are you okay? I heard yelling," he says, concern masking his features. Only then does Jeongguk notice the pink dusting his cheeks, how his shallow puffs of breath are audible. It's as if he ran over, to him. Concerned for him. And really Jeongguk knows he is being bare minimum but it makes him temporarily forget about his burn that is throbbing, completely enveloped in the thought of Taehyung caring about him.

"Jeongguk?"

His face heats up. "Oh yeah sorry I just got distracted while I was making dinner and my chopsticks singed my neck." He bends his neck so the other man can see the afflicted area more clearly.

"Did you put anything on it?"

"I was just about to get some ice." Omitting that he'd been lying on the ground for a couple of minutes as he contemplated why this happened to him is in his best interest he decides.

"ICE?!?"

Clearly that was not the right answer either.

"No?"

Completely unconvinced Taehyung stares at him. His expression is somehow both judgmental and amazed.

A grand overreaction in Jeongguk's opinion. He only used logic, if something hurts because it was hot you mend it with something cold. Cancelling each other out and all that, like pemdas.

He tells him just as much.

Taehyung's mouth falls open.

"Just stay right there I'll be right back," he is already running back to his place when Jeongguk processes everything he'd said.

Obedient as ever, he remains by the entrance of the door; teeth grinding as the burn pulses against his skin. It's only then he realises his voice was strained the entire time they were talking, evidenced by the ache already starting in his throat and his jaw.

Taehyung returns swiftly, holding a first aid kit. What an adult, having a first aid kit and all.

"Kim Taehyung to the rescue," he announces, gesturing for Jeongguk to go inside.

He gets comfortable as Taehyung takes out the burn shield and gauze from the plastic box.

"This is gonna help with the stinging," he says, showing him the white bottle.

He tells him to get comfortable, so he sits himself on the couch and settles in, leaving ample space for Taehyung to sit next to him.

"Luckily it doesn't look too deep or swollen so it's just a first degree burn and pretty minor, it may leave a scar though."

Jeongguk lets him know it's fine, he doesn't mind scars, he'd just like for it to stop burning.

He gives him a nod and wipes at the burn gently with a wet cloth, it gives him momentary relief and he can't help but sigh. Taehyung's lips quirk up in an amused smile. Jeongguk feels himself smiling too.

He applies the burn shield generously, the jelly-like substance immediately cools the skin there and the sensation of the pain subsiding is so lovely he is ready to build a shrine for the creators of burn shield.

"I'm just gonna give it a moment to cool the burn before I put the gauze on."

Jeongguk takes a deep breath, and when a new heady scent, that's spicy but also flowery fills his sensitive nose - he realises how close they are. Taehyung must feel the same, his eyes zeroing on the skin just under his right eye.

"How'd you get this scar?" he asks.

Embarrassment sets his cheeks aflame. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Try me," Taehyung counters, competitive.

"I got into a fight with a dog," he shyly admits, tearing his gaze away.

His mouth parts, closes and then opens again. "Just how big was this dog?"

"It was a puppy."

"You fought a puppy?" He sounds scandalized and terrified and Jeongguk realises he forgot a very important detail.

"I was three," he quickly adds.

Taehyung's shoulders slump, hand still on his chest. "Oh thank God, I was worried for a second there Jeongguk."

"Should I be offended that you would so easily believe I fight puppies in my free time?"

Taehyung tsks, "We're practically strangers you could be a serial killer for all I know."

Like the date never happened in the first place, like they barely knew anything about one another. It stings more than the damn burn.

Before he can formulate a response, Taehyung's focus is back on his neck, patching him up with the gauze.

"Done," the little clap he does after pressing down the tape to keep the gauze in place is very endearing.

Too endearing because Jeongguk is asking him if he wants to have dinner with him before he has the common sense to think it through.

But Taehyung agrees easily, almost too easily considering the enmity radiating off of him towards the brunet for the last couple of weeks. Just another thing to add to a growing list of things that completely and utterly mystifies him in regards to Kim Taehyung.

"What are you eating?"

He scratches the back of his head, mumbling, "Kimchi jjigae."

"Nice, I haven't had any since the last time I visited home," he recalls fondly. Adoration shines in his eyes and it warms Jeongguk's heart, his relationship with his family.

With a timid shake of his head he mutters it's simple.

"Maybe for all you folks that are not kitchen-averse. Sadly, I am not one of you. I rely on delivery, friends who love to proclaim I eat well and the five dishes I can make under my belt. Yes, that includes eggs."

Jeongguk huffs out a laugh. "I've always dreamt about living on my own since I was in middle school, so I've equipped myself with as many recipes as one could need. And because I did all my experimenting and attempting in my parents home, any burned or horrid tasting food wasn't at my expense."

"Smart."

It's the way he seems genuinely impressed that has pride blooming in his chest. He momentarily wonders if he has a praise kink or something. When he feels Taehyung's gaze on him, he immediately represses those thoughts. He'll deal with that revelation later.

Mentally, he pats himself on the back for putting the lights on before opening the door for his neighbour, the sun had completely set somewhere between him burning himself and Taehyung helping him with the burn.

"I'll go dish up."

"Do you need any help? I am pretty good at the kitchen genre of conversation," he muses.

Jeongguk is already walking to the kitchen when he pauses. "I think I can handle dishing up just fine but I would like to know more about this genre of conversation, I've never heard of it before."

Taehyung's eyes light up as he gets up to follow him. He makes a vow to himself to ask him more questions in the future if it garners a reaction like that.

"May I?" he asks, hands on the countertop and leaning against it.

He's like a kitten .

"Be my guest," Jeongguk says, motioning to the flat surface behind him.

He makes an appeased sound when he hops onto it.

"So you were saying?" he asks him as he retrieves bowls from the cupboard.

"It's nothing new," he starts, he takes a minute to really think it over and how to word it. "I don't even know if it's a commonly used term. One of my best friend's, Jung Hoseok - you might have seen him? Red hair and he struts rather than walks around-"

"Heart shaped smile?"

Jeongguk remembers seeing them on his neighbours lawn, they were on a picnic blanket with soju bottles scattered around them. They were laughing as he was closing his curtains and he remembered thinking 'that's such a unique smile'.

"Yeah, that's him." Something about his smile feels melancholic.

However he doesn't feel like it's his place to ask so he just waits for him to continue as he busies himself filling their bowls with the stew.

"What was I saying... Oh! Yeah so Hoseok used the term to describe the intimacy that accompanies conversations that takes place in a kitchen. You've never noticed how they're always more in some sense than talks you have any place else?"

"Even this one?" he questions, back still facing him as he finishes up.

"Well it's pretty short," he starts, and Jeongguk braces his heart for rejection. "But you let me sit on your countertop, and we're talking about the intimacy of conversation and you're preparing to share a meal with me. I'm not too sure of the rules and regulations around kitchen conversation and what qualifies as one but I say yes, also y'know," he gestures to the room they're in.

A kitchen.

"Now that I think about it, this is the first kitchen conversation I've ever had."

He'd never really thought about it before, but he couldn't recall ever having a talk that was more than 'where is the x spice?' in a kitchen. Most of the time he'd be alone making food, music blasting from somewhere. Either his speakers or his headphones, he wasn't picky. Even when he transitioned to eating with friends, the food would be done by the time he got there so no need to dawdle around in the kitchen.

"Don't I feel special," he coos, accepting the bowl that gets handed to him.

Jeongguk asks what he'd like to drink, ends up getting them both water, and fishes out some spoons from the cutlery drawer.

"That makes one of us," he pouts, going as far as to wipe at the non-existent tears in his eyes.

It has the desired effect, Taehyung's laughter filling the space.

"I can't say it's my first but I will say it'll be one of the most memorable, not everyday your cute neighbour invites you over for dinner."

"You think I'm cute?" Jeongguk asks, advancing towards him.

"Among other things," he muses.

He raises a curious brow, "Like what?"

"Hot," he squeaks. 

Jeongguk smirks, “You think I'm hot?”

"No the bowl, the bowl is hot," he rushes out, eyes darting down.

He looks down, seeing that he is holding his bowl right against Taehyung's knee. He rips it away immediately, "I am so fucking sorry." His cheeks are so hot he feels like the bowl was pressed against his face. 

"It's okay, what would make it better is if you kissed it better though."

Jeongguk looks at him, looks down at his knee. He's wearing ripped jeans so the skin there is exposed, he could easily plant a quick kiss. He looks up, down, up and then down again.

"I was joking," Taehyung says, words a little strained. He's blushing, the younger almost wants to kiss him just to see how red he can get.

Instead he says they should eat before the food gets cold.

"I usually watch something while I eat, is that okay?"

Taehyung nods. "Of course!"

"Any suggestions?"

Jeongguk always watches an episode of a show or a YouTube video - he's found he doesn't like watching movies during dinner. Then again, it would mean having Taehyung over longer and he really likes the sound of that.

"How do you feel about True Crime videos?"

Taehyung, truly, must have been sent to him by the gods. "No way?!?"

"Is that a 'no way' I don't want to watch or 'no way' you watch True Crime videos too, because if it's the former boo and if it's the latter let's fucking go."

"Let's fucking go!"

They find a video on a case they both haven't seen with minimal searching and they get into it really quickly. It is the case of the Jijonpa 'family' cult which entails a couple of guys who have struggled because of financial insecurity taking the term 'eat the rich' rather literally but also in the most misguided and cruel way.

Jeongguk appreciates how quiet the room is spare for the sound of the tv and them slurping the stew, occasional sips of water. He likes that they're both focused on the case, sometimes when he watches it with other people they try to make conversation while the video is playing and then he misses out some details and has to re-watch it at a later time. None of that now, in fact Taehyung is completely engrossed in the case, leaning forward and eyes wide in both shock and disgust.

Realising by paying so much attention to the other man, that he is essentially distracting himself, he shifts on the couch seat and zeroes in his attention once again.

By the time the video ends, his stomach is full and he feels way more relaxed than he usually does after watching a case. Some people find it therapeutic, he just finds it interesting. He supposes the lightness he feels could very well be a symptom of spending time with Kim Taehyung, his mere presence comforting.

"That was... something," Taehyung says, running his fingers through his hair.

Silver. What a great fucking colour.

Jeongguk hums in agreement. "It's really fucked up and the worst part of it is I know there's going to be some self proclaimed communist 15 year old on Twitter that's going to be like 'hell yeah, eat the rich bestie!' in reaction to this case."

Taehyung gasps, "You're a capitalist?" The last word is whispered, as if it was a curse.

He can't help but giggle.

"Not at all, fuck the rich, distribution of wealth, socialism - all of those things I 100% agree on. Though I do think efforts should be on curbing the Jeff Bezos of the world rather than offing someone because they drive a Porsche y'know."

He lets out a relieved sigh, "I was about to hightail it out of here."

"If I had said I was pro-capitalism, I wouldn't blame you."

That gets them talking about social justice efforts they've both been apart of which leads to talks about their university days and he elaborates on what it's like doing postgrad studies which Taehyung finds incredulous - can't for the life of him fathom how Jeongguk could put himself through more years of education.

"To be very honest, the worst part was forgetting people's names. There was one girl who I met on the first day of one of my introductory classes, three years later and she'd still say hi and talk to me when she saw me around campus but I just could not remember her name." He felt immensely guilty about it, but he had information constantly stuffed into his brain since he entered uni, could Jeongguk really be blamed for forgetting things?

"I'm bad with faces," Taehyung confesses. 

 Jeongguk knows he is probably saying it to make him feel better and he appreciates it.

"Well with a face like that, it's only fair." It's only half-teasing. Taehyung is so ridiculously good looking it's almost unfair. Unfair to his ability to breathe properly and to everyone else who has so much as seen him.

Jeongguk doesn't believe in love at first sight, but he thinks it's very plausible that dozens have given their heart to him just upon seeing his face. A face that is wonderfully easy to fall in love with.

Taehyung averts his eyes.

As a shy person himself, Jeongguk gets it, these sort of reactions to compliments. So he doesn't comment on it, simply gathers the dishes in his arms and takes them to the zinc. Without music ringing loud in his ears, he doesn't enjoy the activity much, so he decides to do it after Taehyung leaves.

When he returns to the living room he finds Taehyung on his phone, frowning.

"Hot date cancel?"

When he cranes his neck to look at him, over the couch, he tries to summon a smile. It's not at all convincing. "Worse, didn't reply."

Instincts -he hadn't known he'd acquired- to make sure Taehyung feels better, flare up instantaneously.

''Then he's definitely not hot, and probably a fool."

"I beg to differ," he counters, pout still lingering.

The notification light from his own phone flickers in his periphery, and he remembers what had brought Taehyung here in the first place. Him dropping everything because he'd gotten a message from him.

He can't help but wonder.... what if?

Just as he is about to bring up their date, Taehyung announces that he has to go. "My dog is probably waiting for me to let him out for a bit."

Biting back a sigh aimed at the powers that be for the continued failed attempts at actually talking about their date, he gives him an understanding smile.

When they get to the door he says, "We should do this again sometime."

"Maybe without you injuring yourself next time?" Taehyung quips. The smile is small, but it's happy and that's all the counts.

He pretends to think it over.

"Goodnight Jeongguk."

"Sleep well."

He watches Taehyung walk over to his place, and doesn't close the door until he sees him safely in his own home. Then with his back to the door, he slides all the way down, till he is seated on the floor.

It's the first time since he'd had the music player installed, that he notices a love song playing from the speakers.

With the dishes done, and after a shower where he spends his time thinking of second date options to ask Taehyung on, he finally checks his phone.

Hey, it's Taehyung. I was wondering if you're free this weekend?

Of course he gets beat to the punch, but he can't say he minds too much. It's nice, feeling wanted too. 

Jeongguk replies immediately, apologises for the delayed response, and confirms that he is free this weekend.

After five minutes and no response he turns in his bed so that he is laying on his back, drops his phone on his chest as he tries to figure out exactly what is happening. 'Maybe I should get out my whiteboard', he thinks. He opines that this whiteboard singlehandedly got him through his studies as being able to have everything laid down in front of him and then connect them with string as if he was a detective somehow made everything stick .

Right now, confused as ever, he needs to find a way to make sense of it.

He's still thinking about it as he falls asleep, when he brushes the teeth the next morning and when he is driving to his campus for his morning class.

Taehyung had replied while he was sleeping 'Dress comfortably, wear a white top if you have one. Saturday at this cafe.'

He wonders why they can't just go together, since they literally live opposite one another but he just adds that to his pile of questions.

Looking forward to it, have a good rest of the week.

You too :]

He tries his best to focus during class, he has long ago realised a degree is a degree no matter how you pass. Yet, he can't help but need to perform, and perform well, in all his endeavours - academia included. He is headed to one of his regular meet ups with the professor overseeing his master's thesis, a little more than fifteen minutes to spare, when he spots a familiar red tuft of hair. An embarrassing amount of time is spent contemplating whether or not he should say hi - it's also unnecessary because as he is standing there thinking about it, he gets spotted.

"Hey, you don't happen to be Kim Taehyung's neighbour do you? Silver hair, tall, sometimes covered in paint?"

He blinks before stammering out a 'yes, yes that's me.'

Internally he curses, he'd thought he would grow out of being nervous in front of strangers. But his shyness proves itself permanent.

"Don't worry Tae's Neighbour, I'm not going to jump you or anything," his chuckles are in no way condescending or mean spirited. It soothes his nerves a little bit.

"I'm Jeongguk, the neighbour," he says, holding out his hand.

The redhead takes it with a cheery smile, "Jung Hoseok, the best friend."

"And the creator of Kitchen Conversations," he adds.

This time he is hit with the full impact of his heart shape smile, the feeling akin to looking directly at the sun. Bright.

He raises a curious brow as if to ask How do you know?

"Taehyung told me about it yesterday," he says, hoisting his laptop bag on his shoulder.

"Did you finally invite him over for a videogame session?" Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk feels his face contort in confusion, to which the other elaborates, "He'd always go on about how loud you were when you were gaming, but all of us knew it was probably because he wanted to play too, and bitter that his own gaming system crashed a few weeks back."

He'd love to game with Taehyung but this is all news to him.

"Wait, I probably shouldn't have said that," he says, sheepish.

Jeongguk grins, "It's okay, we actually had a run in earlier and cleared the air. I think he's a pretty cool person."

"Then we already have one thing in common."

His phone buzzing, reminding him he has to get to his professor across the campus in the next 10 minutes, has him cutting the conversation short with an apology. "It was nice meeting you."

"See you around Jeongguk!"

He waves back at him taking tentative steps backwards as he does before turning on his heel and making his way to the commerce building.

It's only when he is walking up the stairs to his professor's office that he realises he never even asked Hoseok if he was a student too, slapping his own forehead for the oversight.

The rest of the day is just standard postgraduate procedures, lots of coffee, research and meeting up with a few of his peers. The moment he gets home, the music filling his ears sounds like it's welcoming him into the gates of heaven. The system was a gift from one of his cousins, who'd invested in a start up - basically it was a music system that had a constant stream of music playing in your home, it would adapt to your mood based on either your own commands or its inferences from your smart watch. It required connection to all your devices to make sure music wasn't playing while you were watching a video and to pick up on your sleeping schedule and when you entered and left - so as not to waste electricity.

He found out it had been expensive, which is not surprising considering how niche it is and the sophisticated technology needed for the product to function optimally. And he truly loves it, being surrounded by music all the time, though it does make visiting other people's homes a little cognitively confusing. A part of him always feels like something is missing.

Running on the treadmill, he feels his phone vibrate, he slows down the speed to check the message and thanks himself for doing so - knowing if he had read out Taehyung's name while moving would have had him slamming his head against the deck.

Thought you'd appreciate this

Attached to the message is a picture of a painting on a miniature canvas, a painting of the sea. He wonders if Taehyung did it himself, when he zooms in, he sees a KT in the bottom corner and his heart aches. He can't help but think 'maybe, maybe , he did it for me'. Why else would he send him a picture of it after Jeongguk had said it was his favourite place.

It's incredible.

And it truly is, cerulean waves crashing against a shore of golden sand. Azure skies seem to stretch on forever even in a painting he knows can't even be bigger than the palm of his hand.

I've been in a little art block lately, and after remembering what you said I decided to paint it and it helped, spent the whole day making art!!!

His chest squeezes in adoration, he can almost hear the whooshing sounds of a whip playing in the backtrack of his life.

That's awesome, I'm glad you feel inspired :D

What about you, what are you up to?

I was on campus earlier, currently working out 🦾

Hmm sounds sus :/ do you have proof?

You want to see pictures of me working out???

Just to...verify the information. Of course!

Amused, he gets off the treadmill and makes his way to the floor length mirror.

Fair warning, I work out topless. Easier to breathe and all that.

Well, now, I'm definitely going to need pics.

🤨🤨

To VERIFY

He's laughing so loud he wonders if Taehyung can hear him, but he can't find it in him to feel self conscious about it. Instead he takes the opportunity to snap a picture, it's a mirror picture so Taehyung can very clearly see he is shirtless, with his gym shorts and trainers. His hair is tied back in a ponytail, a must while he is working out, and his grin is wide.

A smile for Taehyung.

After a few minutes of no response after he sends the picture, he messages again.

Taehyung?

Sorry! I dropped my paint brush and water splashed everywhere. Also, on a completely unrelated note, nice pecs ;)

"Unrelated"

Instead of a witty remark Taehyung replies with a picture instead, a picture of him. His ends are a darker grey than the rest of his hair which he supposes was because of the water splashing. But the scene stealer of the selca is definitely Taehyung's smile, which is cradling a thin paintbrush. It looks unused so he can only assume he grabbed it for the purpose of the picture, and it has his insides dissolving as much as seeing Tae's pretty eyes does.

Pretty

예쁜

Bello

Maganda

愛らしい

Joli

Bonito

Intle

漂亮的

Should I be concerned with how quickly you came up with all these translations or should I assume you just keep them on hand for all the pretty boys you pursue?

What about option 3?

Option 3?

I'm a polyglot.

Joohyuk, you literally ranted to me about how much you despised the NEAT exam because language learning, and I quote, kicks your ass.

Workout long forgotten, he leans back onto the cushioned bench. He should correct Taehyung, the opportunity to do so handed to him on a silver platter. And yet, his fingers hover over the digital keyboard before typing 'Well then' instead.

Their back and forth carries on for a little more until Taehyung says he needs to go take Tannie, his dog, for a walk.

Enjoy the rest of your work out 😘😉

For reasons he doesn't want to admit, those emojis have his heart rate racing much more than his workout did.

He pours some of the water from his bottle onto his hands and splashes it on his face, over emojis man? Get it together.

●～●

He finds Taehyung easily when he arrives at the café, seated in front of two canvases and some painting utensils scattered around him. Manoeuvring his way around the tables and canvases atypically set up around the space almost has him tripping over his own feet, thankfully he reaches Taehyung injury-free.

"Is this seat taken?" he asks, leaning his hand on the table.

Taehyung looks up at him, and rather than a welcoming smile, he is met with narrowed eyes. They journey from his face, up to his hair, then go south to his neck and his fingers tapping against his black jeans. Recognition flashes across his features, and his expression eases into a softer, warmer one.

Must have been a slow start to the morning, Jeongguk thinks. "Should I grab us some coffee?"

His face contorts adorably around his nose scrunch.

"That's a no for the coffee then. What's your potion?"

"You mean poison?" an amused lilt to his voice.

Jeongguk shakes his head. "Poison for when you want to get wasted, potions are restorative," he sing-songs.

"And for you that is... coffee?"

He manages to look pretty even when incredulous and partially disgusted.

"Yes, I am a slave to caffeine," he bemoans.

"Matcha milk tea for me, please."

Jeongguk takes a second more to really appreciate how lovely Taehyung looks in the sunlight streaming into the room through the large windows before making his way over to order. The service is efficient and he's settled next to Taehyung, sipping from his iced Americano, in a few minutes.

"So do we just throw paint at the canvas?" he asks, trying to find a paintbrush that feels right in his hand.

"Well you could but I actually chose the place because they usually do themes or concepts? So everyone paints the same type of thing, colour or style and it's less daunting than just looking at an empty canvas and having to come up with something to paint."

Jeongguk hums as he continues to look for a paintbrush, fingers trailing over the bristles of all the different ones on display.

"Here you go," Taehyung says, handing him a cup with five paintbrushes protruding.

He says thank you and places it next to him. "How do I know when to use which one though?"

"Just go with your gut - it's not an art class, it's for fun." To emphasize his point he dips one of his own brushes in water and brushes it across Jeongguk's nose.

It's ticklish against his skin, his nose wrinkling and he almost retaliates but he overhears someone's booming voice.

"Hello everyone, today we're doing portraits! But don't be in a rush to finish, you can always take your canvas paper home and finish it there or of course you can come back here and enjoy all the treats and beverages our café has to offer!"

From a business perspective it's a very smart approach, but a portrait ? He thought he'd be doing flowers or something.

When he looks over to check Taehyung's reaction, he looks just as dumbfounded as Jeongguk feels. Must not be his art work of choice, he guesses.

But they share the same determination and turn to one another.

"Fuck."

Taehyung's gorgeous and this is not new information, but he looks especially golden today and the pink jewel hanging from his earring matches his lips that twitch in a concentrated pout and he wouldn't be able to do him justice at all.

"You don't have to do me y'know."

And his brain goes 'oh, but I do' before he even registers Taehyung's words in context.

"Oh? Didn't know that was an option, or that you were into exhibitionism," he quips, smirk pulling at his lips.

Taehyung's reaction is a full body one; his brow furrows in confusion, eyes widen in realisation, cheeks flush and he lands a light punch to Jeongguk's arm.

"I meant you don't have to do a portrait of me," he clarifies, face still red.

Cute .

The thing is he could do that, phone filled to the brim with pictures of his friends - Seokjin actually uses their Instagram messages as a storage place for his selfies. Yet, he still wants to paint him, wants to make art of him. Wants to capture not only his beauty but also his warmth and kindness.

"I'd like to do you though-"

Taehyung stares at him.

"-for the portrait, get your mind out of the gutter Taehyung."

The Taehyung he'll paint will definitely be this one looking at him right now; bright red splattered across his cheeks.

After flicking some more water Jeongguk's way, he sets to work. Then proceeds to just stare at him, expressionless, and he's both intimidated and sort of turned on.

He clears his throat, "Just to be clear, you're painting me too right?"

"No, I just like looking at you," he deadpans.

This time it's Jeongguk's turn to blush. Embarrassed, he focuses his attention back on his canvas, attempting to figure out where to start. Maybe outlining with a pencil? He wasn't half-bad at drawing in middle school.

"I was joking," Taehyung pipes up after a few moments had passed. "I am making a portrait of you. You are pretty nice to look at though, a nice way to pass the time in my opinion."

God, it's a date, of course he is flirting with him. Still, he feels his body go aflame. Even the tips of his ears are burning up and his heart is not doing any better. Kim Taehyung.

A menace.

But he rights himself, shrugs. "Well I am definitely taking advantage of this opportunity to look at you ." The trail of his gaze is obvious as he drinks him in.

"Your coffee is getting cold," his voice climbs up a few octaves, averting eye contact.

When Jeongguk laughs, he throws his head back and his shoulders shake. "It's an iced Americano."

"Don't laugh at me."

He wants to kiss the pout right off his face, he doesn't. What he does do is attempt to outline his features on the canvas.

It's a very, very rough sketch - unsure lines and smudged pencil covering the page. But as time goes by it sort of looks like him, so he'll take it as a win. He's a bit apprehensive as he reaches for the acrylic paint, scared it could ruin what he'd accomplished thus far.

Looking over at Taehyung to ask if he could just not paint, he hears him cursing under his breath as he brushes hair out of his eyes. A few moments later, more pushing. Then again, and again. His hair is at that awkward stage where it falls into your eyes, but can't be tucked behind your ear. A very annoying phase.

Lucky for him, his date always has an elastic band around his wrist. A necessity when you have long hair. So far, his hair has been pretty tame so he takes it off his wrist and takes the two strides to get to his date.

"May I?" he asks, holding up the hair tie between his thumb and index finger.

When he looks up at him and sees the hair tie, his face softens. He has that look in his eyes as he stares up at him, as if he sees the constellation in his eyes reflected in Jeongguk's gaze. It does copious amounts of things to Jeongguk's insides. "You may."

As gently as he can, he swoops up all the hair from the front section and ties it into what can only be described as a sprout? Water fountain maybe?

"I don't like what your face is doing right now," he complains, folding his arms.

"Smiling?"

Taehyung narrows his eyes, "Smiling like that. I look ridiculous don't I?"

"You look adorable," he says.

He doesn't respond, turning back to face his work, but Jeongguk catches a hint of a smile. That is enough for him to return to his seat with a pep in his step.

Two hours later, he's only painted the hair and one eye. To be fair, he has taken multiple breaks for little conversations in between with Taehyung, another iced coffee and water, and forgetting he is only supposed to look at Taehyung for a reference - only to end up staring.

There is something about the way his eyes go bigger, rounder and almost darker as he works. His brows are drawn in his concentration and the tip of his tongue sticks out but he's still smiling, in that his smile is in his eyes. The gaze of someone who is looking at something he has put a little bit of love into, a little bit of himself. Suddenly, jealousy licks at his insides at the thought of all the people who have a Kim Taehyung original in their possession. More than the jealousy though, is the hope that they're treasuring it.

When he meets his gaze, he's so startled he almost drops his paintbrush. Yeah , he remembers, Taehyung needs to look at me too .

So he returns his focus to his barely done painting and gets to work on the flecks of brown of the other man's eyes. He takes another extended break when Taehyung goes to the counter, watching the little silver sprout atop his head bounce as he walks brings him indescribable joy. When he returns, drink in hand, he asks Jeongguk how his painting is going.

"It's... going."

The smile he gives him is an understanding one, "Don't worry too much about it, I wanted this to be a relaxed thing."

And maybe with anyone else it would be, but if Jeon Jeongguk was one thing, it was competitive. "I'm super relaxed."

"Uh huh."

But he lets him be, dipping his paintbrush on the paint on his easel. Jeongguk mimics this, and then moves it to the paper, trying to achieve his high cheekbones. An impossible task that has him all but throwing the paintbrushes out of frustration.

It is comforting though, when he sees how his date seems to be rushing through his own work. It's almost imperceptible but he picks up on it, the rapid eye movement between Jeongguk and the canvas, the quickness of the strokes and moving between different paint brushes and barely taking any breaks. A perfectionist, Jeongguk guesses.

He's also been trying to take peeks at Taehyung's work, throughout the time they've been busy, but he is unrelenting - threatening him with his paintbrush every time.

This time, he has a paintbrush of his own ready, dipped in bold red paint. So when Taehyung tries to strike at him, he smears some of it on the tip of his nose.

"Suits you," he teases.

Taehyung goes cross eyed trying to see what he'd done, and it just makes Jeongguk's laughter more rambunctious.

"Oh you're so going to pay for that."

Still laughing, Jeongguk quips, "Ooooh, shaking in my boots."

And once again he is reminded of his mother's scolding words, 'you should never be too confident', it's in that moment that Taehyung paints a long stripe of orange from his forehead all the way to his chin.

"Suits you."

His smirk does not last long as Jeongguk swipes his blue paint right across his mouth. It drains all of the jovial energy from Taehyung’s expression.

"You do know these paints can't he inhaled right, they're toxic." He rubs furiously at the paint on his lips, even using the hem of his shirt to wipe it away.

Jeongguk feels like he'd just swallowed lead, what the fuck did he just do?!

He quickly grabs a cloth and hands it to him, trying to find wipes or something. "Oh no, oh no Taehyung I'm so sorr-"

"You're too easy," Taehyung is smug as he uses the largest brush in reach to paint the bottom part of his face a sunny yellow.

But his smile falls when he sees Jeongguk's eyes glazed over with tears. The roles are quickly reversed as he dotes on him, eyes wide and concerned.

"Wait, I didn't mean to make you so upset, I just wanted to catch you off guard. I'm sorry, that was a really stupid thing to do."

Jeongguk blinks. He's just as bewildered as Taehyung. He definitely is not the sort of person who refuses to cry to seem tough and cool, but to just have tears come out of nowhere like that - it's strange. All he knows is that he felt an overwhelming sense of worry, of a need to make sure the other man was okay.

It's sort of terrifying; feeling so much about a singular person.

"Sorry, I uh don't even know why that just happened."

Taehyung simply extends his arms, and walking into his embrace feels like the easiest, most natural thing in the world. The artist, he learns, likes to nuzzle into your neck when hugging, he can't say he minds. When they pull apart he is a little embarrassed, doesn't really know what to do with his arms or even himself.

"Wanna make green?" Taehyung jokes.

He hopes it's a half joke because he is already leaning in. Slow enough so Taehyung has the time to back out, push him away, anything. But he does the opposite, leans and clasps his hands around Jeongguk's neck and the younger wraps his arms around Taehyung's middle. A perfect fit.

Then they're kissing.

It's slow and soft, a little hesitant. Barely anything more than a peck really, and yet. 

It's Taehyung and it is amazing.

It's only when they pull away from one another, his hands still resting on Taehyung's hips when they realise where they are. The unimpressed looks from parents with their kids, and the older generation who simply do not like any form of PDA beyond hand holding, spurs them on to separate themselves from each other.

Jeongguk still needs to get revenge though, so he places his whole palm on the easel and smears it on Taehyung's cheek. A kaleidoscopic mess, that somehow suits him. He can’t imagine that any colour wouldn’t suit him, he’s that beautiful.

He reaches out with the paint covered hand, cradles the side of his face as he brushes his thumb across his cheek. "I think I've finished my masterpiece."

Making the rookie mistake of focusing on the way Taehyung leans into the touch, he misses his right hand reaching for a tube of blue paint. A tube that gets squeezed right on his forehead and then a little bit on his shirt too.

"Oh that was low," he tsks.

Taehyung's eyelashes flutter innocently, peering at him through them he shrugs. "Whatsoever do you mean?"

" I mean , you're so dead-"

Then it turns into a full on cat and mouse game, the roles alternating each time one of them catches the other. They're covered in paint, their previously white shirts look like a 4th grader's art project and their faces look like they let that same 4th grader try their hand at face painting too.

They eventually get kindly asked to leave, for ruining the chill vibes. Honestly, they're not mad about it - taking their unfinished portraits with a smile and a thank you for the service.

"So," he starts, turning to Taehyung. They're outside the café and he is definitely ready to take a shower, but even as he starts his goodbye he doesn't want the day to be over. "Today was really-"

"Would you like to go to the beach?" His intuition is definitely remarkable.

A hopeful smile and guaranteed good company makes it the easiest 'yes' of his life.

They end up taking Taehyung's car, and Jeongguk asks Namjoon and Seokjin to pick up his vehicle after sending them the address for the café. It's a two hour drive to Muchangpo Beach so they stop at a gas station to refill Taehyung's tank, a bathroom break and to grab some food. Figuring going light would be the best option, they grab some onigiri, kimbap and tteokbokki, and banana milk as per Jeongguk's request.

Everyone in the convenience store looks at them weirdly and even though he knows it's most likely because of how ridiculous they look due to the paint, he still tightens his grip on Taehyung's hand protectively. They eventually do part as Jeongguk grabs the food and Taehyung goes to the restroom.

He is trying to get some of the paint out of the front strands of his hair when Taehyung climbs back in the car, his sprout bouncing with his movements.

"You know, you should definitely try this hairdo more often, it works for you," he comments, unwrapping a rice ball.

Taehyung laughs, "Yeah I'm sure all my 'uppity' clients would love to see the person they've commissioned rocking a toddler's hairdo."

Convenience store food is nowhere near as delicious as restaurant or oven homemade quality food but that doesn't stop them from sighing happily, making little sounds of 'hmm' and 'mmhm' as they eat. Taehyung even does a little happy dance when he gets to the tteokbokki.

Jeongguk wonders if it's medically possible for his heart to attach itself to the whims of someone else as he feels it stutter in his chest cavity out of adoration.

"Promise you won't judge my music taste?"

He actually looks apprehensive as he fiddles with the radio.

"I can listen to anything."

His Spotify playlists can attest to that, ranging in languages, genres and moods. More often than not he is crooning love songs to himself in his apartment (probably another reason why Taehyung didn't like him at first) but he is pretty versatile.

And judging from the songs that play while they drive, so is Taehyung. It's honestly quite impressive how he goes from softly singing along to Rina Sawayama to rapping to Kendrick Lamar. There's some jazz thrown in there too, and radio hits. Sometimes he sings from his chest, deep voice reverberating in the car and at others he goes a bit higher into his head voice. It's all like warm honey. A soulful sweetness he immediately takes a liking too.

He doesn't even realise he is singing too until he feels Taehyung staring at him.

"What?" His palms feel sweaty and he wants to have some words with the universe because he'd never had sweaty palms before, not even when he had to give a speech in front of his entire grade in high school or when he was dared to kiss his 9th grade crush.

This is not the time for biological changes.

"You're a really good singer," he praises, eyes twinkling in amazement.

Jeongguk waves his hand, "I'm okay."

That was definitely not the right thing to say, Taehyung pulling over to the side of the road immediately. He unbuckles his seat belt and gets out of the car, asking Jeongguk to do the same. Looking around, he doesn't understand why they've stopped, the only thing coming into his line of sight is long stretches of, well, nothing. Tall grass fields cover the ground on either side of the asphalt, not exactly a destination, or even rest, spot.

"Uh Taehy-"

"Nope, I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth that isn't 'I'm a really good singer'," he says, adamant.

Very much confused, he just stands there, swaying from side to side. It's one of those moments where he is awfully aware of his limbs and doesn't really know what to do with them.

"Go on then," Taehyung gestures for him to say something.

The brunet reaches a hand to the back of his neck. "I'm a little lost."

"What would you say if I told you I'm only an okay artist?" he questions, it sounds more like a challenge.

"I'd say you're wrong."

His lips quirk into a satisfied smile, "Exactly."

"But that's different, you're an artist. I'm not a singer. Let's just get back-"

He moves to the car, but Taehyung is resolute.

"Says who?"

"Uh?"

He crosses his arms, stare pinning Jeongguk in place. "Who says you're not a singer? You're good at it so why can't you be one?"

The younger subconsciously digs his feet into the soft earth beneath them. "I'm just not one."

"Do you want to be one?" He takes a few steps closer to him so that they're only an arms reach away from one another.

And he's never been asked that before. So he answers honestly, "I don't know."

"You could be you know, you could be anything you want."

He doesn't say it just to say it. It's sincere and he's looking at Jeongguk in a way that makes him feel like he really can do anything.

So he mutters, "I'm a good singer."

"C'mon, you can do better than that," Taehyung encourages.

"I'm a good singer," he says, louder and firmer this time. Says it like he believes it.

"I don't know how convincing that was," he muses.

For the hell of it, for him, he yells. "I'M A GOOD SINGER!"

"YEAH YOU ARE," Taehyung shouts back.

"I'M A GOOD SINGER!"

This time he says it for himself. 

"YEAH!!!"

He knows his cheeks have taken on a rosy colour, since he is a little embarrassed. But more than that he's happy and he wants to bottle the euphoric feeling, to keep forever.

"Anything you want to yell out to the void?" he asks Taehyung, who is looking at him with such pride that his palms feel clammy all over again.

"Mine's a secret, so I'd like to whisper into the void if you don't mind."

Despite the curiosity niggling at his insides, he says 'sure' and gets into the car to give him some privacy with the open road. Less than a minute later he hears a yell, followed up by a relaxed Taehyung getting into the driver's seat.

"I thought you were gonna whisper?"

"I did, the yell was just cathartic," he supplies, easily.

The drive to the beach continues, a symphony of the songs from Taehyung's playlist and their harmonising filling the car. 

He chalks them finding a relatively vacant beach up to pure luck, weekends and good weather usually meant people flocking to the open water but today proves to be an exception. Besides a few surfers waxing their boards and looking out for waves that are clearly not happening today and a few other couples strolling on the soft, beige sand, it is pretty empty.

After purchasing two ice creams - a vanilla and strawberry double swirl for the artist and a matcha and chocolate double swirl for Jeongguk - they too track their footprints in the sand, walking close enough to the shore for the cool water to wash against their bare feet.

"So why'd you want to visit the beach today?"

He doesn't look at him when he asks, pretends to have all his attention on the green and brown swirls of his ice cream. But truthfully, all he is thinking about is that they're holding hands and how he hasn't held someone's hand in this way in so long, and how good it feels. How nice it is to be holding Kim Taehyung's hand, in this moment, as they walk on the beach. Onlookers may even assume they're together and he really likes that idea - to be together with Taehyung. To be able to hold his hand for even longer.

Maybe even forever.

But Taehyung does turn to him, stops mid stride which effectively stops Jeongguk too and just looks at him for a moment. When a soft smile grows on his face he says, "Painting is an important part of me, it's my safe space and my escape. It may sound a little silly, but it made me feel vulnerable doing that with you today so I thought maybe I'd feel a little more secured if I spent some time with you with something you hold close to your heart too."

A shared vulnerability.

"I get it," is all he says, all he needs to say. Internally though, a part of him is rejoicing. He no longer feels as though he is falling too fast, because it feels like Taehyung is falling right with him.

"So, tell me about your affinity for the sea."

And he does, the words falling from his lips like they'd been waiting for this moment for an eternity. Starts from his earliest memory of the open waters; being on his dad's shoulders, sunscreen slathered on his face generously and granules of sand in-between his toes. Goes on to talk about how he always associated going to the beach with good days, everyone was always happy on those days. Then as he got older, he just found himself gravitating towards the sea. Even on gloomy days where grey skies went on for miles and miles - he still found comfort there. Comfort in the salty scent, in the soft sand that slid through your fingers and in the constant ebbing of the water. And when he felt truly hopeless, completely lost, he went there for reassurance. Seeing the ocean, how it seemed to go on forever, wider and deeper than he could even fathom - that put him at ease, reminded him his problems were never that big. Things would be okay.

Taehyung listens intently, leaning towards him with the type of gaze that he already knew he'd yearn for when it was absent.

"So, how often do you make trips out here?"

Muchangpo beach is the closest one to Seoul, and it's about two hours away, so it's definitely not a trip one can make regularly or on a whim. "Not as much as I'd like to," he confesses, looking over at the waves gently crashing over one another.

"But I have seashells," he blurts out.

Taehyung's head tilts sideways, his hair-sprout following suit. "Seashells?"

It's too late to take it back now, so despite the embarrassment clawing at him, he reveals, "Sometimes when I really miss it here and for whatever reason can't make the drive, I hold one of the seashells close to my ear and just listen ."

"What does it sound like?"

Jeongguk gasps. "You've never held a seashell against your ear?"

With a shake of the head he says, "I went from a kid in the country, to a kid in the city. Not a lot of sea exploration time."

And he just can't have that, so he let's Taehyung's hand go, the little disappointed sound the other makes, has his heart going double time but he is determined.

"I'll be back in a minute," he tells him, bounding towards where he knows most of the seashells aren't broken. He rolls up the bottoms of his black jeans till his ankles, so he can comfortably manoeuvre his way into the tiny tidal pool.

It's not even as wide as his shoulders, but it's thriving with marine life. Pretty pink and orange starfish on the rocks, pebbles and stones smoothed over into gems because of the constant pressure of waves entering the area over the rocks and an array of seashells. Bingo.

His hands brush over them as he moves some of the triton, conch and star shaped shells to find what he's looking for. The ridges of them tickle his fingertips until his fingers find the silky exterior of a bivalve shell, he makes sure it's empty before whipping it out and making his way back to Taehyung, seashell in hand.

It's a pretty cream colour, with a pale green ombre climbing up from the centre. And when unfolded, it sort of looks like a butterfly. He feels a tinge of guilt for separating the two sides, but he only needs one anyway so he pockets one half as he presents the other to the silver haired boy who is still licking at his own ice cream and holding onto Jeongguk's.

"Can I?" he asks, motioning to Taehyung's ear.

He nods frenetically, leaning forward into his touch.

Jeongguk covers his left ear with his hand, to block out the sound of the actual beach, and then places the shell over his right ear.

There's a moment where Taehyung stills, then his entire face lights up. "Magical," he whispers, awed.

Watching him, he can't help but agree.

They sit next to each other, finishing up their ice creams, watching the water. Their bodies subtly sway with the gentle rhythm of the rolling waves, shoulders knocking together every time they crash on the shore to disperse into a delicate, white froth.

"Sometimes, if I close my eyes while having the seashell by my ear I can picture this right in front of me."

Taehyung hums, drawing little moons in the sand with his finger.

"So, how did your parents react when you told them you wanted to be an artist ?"

It's a question that's been lingering on his mind since their first date, out of both curiosity and the slightest bit of envy.

"They didn't? Or I never told them? I'm not too sure, it was always just kind of a guaranteed thing you know. I can't say I excelled in academics enough to have colleges vying over me and sports have always just been fun more than anything else, but art has always been it for me. My dad liked to paint when he was younger, and apparently one day he found four year old me finger painting with some rejected blueberries and strawberries that I decided to smash up and colour with. I'm considered a finger painting prodigy in my home town y'know," he boasts.

He can see it, a tinier version with a smile that was probably all too big for his face, the very same paint splattered across his face as he constructed his masterpieces.

"So," he continues, "he bought me some real paint, taught me some of the basics and let me go for drawing classes which was more my neighbour giving me books and praising my 'strong lines' than anything else honestly. I took art as a subject in school too, did it everyday and the rest as they say is history."

It's bewildering, almost, how different their upbringing was.

Well, it was similar in the fact that Jeongguk working at the company would be a given, but he'd never really got to pursue any other avenues. He tried as he got older, but nothing really stuck.

"This may sound a little rich coming from me," Taehyung says, placing his hand on Jeongguk's, where it is planted on the sand, "but it's okay if your profession isn't your passion."

It takes him back to their conversation at the restaurant, down to the warmth of Taehyung's hand.

"I think I'm incredibly lucky to be able to do what I want for a living, but trust me when I say it comes with it's own string of difficulties. It's a very daunting sort of pressure, depending on your art to make a living and just that pressure alone can put you out of commission for weeks, which can turn into more stress and that makes it even more difficult. All of that creates this feedback loop from hell, and it's insanely difficult to break out of it."

Jeongguk is attentive, concentrated on the words he is saying as he tries to follow his train of thought.

"What I'm trying to say is, maybe trying to look at things from a different perspective may make things a little easier to deal with? You may grow to love your job at your parent's company and if not, you'd have a stable income while you try to pursue other things. Time will be limited, sure, but nothing's impossible, yeah?"

Yeah?

Just like that, it sounds so easy. It sounds so simple, he feels a little annoyed. Until, he casts his gaze in Taehyung's direction. He doesn't find a knowing smile, a smug expression or anything to indicate him feeling like he just solved all of Jeongguk's life problems.

In fact, he looks more apprehensive than anything else. A little scared he's overstepped maybe, worrying his bottom lip.

So, he doesn't respond immediately. Instead he really thinks about his words and he finds that it's exactly what he needs to hear. "Maybe you're right."

Taehyung rubs reassuring circles on the skin between his thumb and his forefinger, a few grains of sand prickle his skin with it, but he doesn't mind.

"I've always thought once I entered the company that would be it , my whole life would just be the company and I'd be sort of miserable forever," he divulges. "I never really thought about finding space for the things I love with it too."

Like my dad.

"I'd be happy to help find what sets your heart on fire, my schedule is pretty flexible y'know?"

"Is this you sneakily trying to spend more time with me?"

He echoes his own words from earlier, "Maybe you're right."

Jeongguk gently knocks his shoulder against Taehyung's, who just sticks his tongue out at him.

Conversation flows easily from there on, Taehyung taking the lead to suggest passion projects for Jeongguk. Some are viable (photography) and others are just plain ridiculous (underwear model - for Calvin Klein specifically).

"You just want to see me naked."

"The world wants to see you naked."

"You're my world."

"That was disgustingly cheesy." Then he attempted to dunk the brunet in the sand, which simply resulted in Jeongguk overpowering him and after many struggles, him hovering over Taehyung's sprawled out form.

"The view is 10/10, I have to say."

Taehyung's breath seems to catch, and he appears mesmerised as his hand lifts and trails the line of his jaw. "It's pretty good from here too," he stammers.

This time, the kiss is much less hesitant than the first. He gets lost in the plush of his lips, in the little sounds he pulls from his as he gently tugs at his lower lip. When he opens his mouth for him, Jeongguk doesn't miss the opportunity to deepen the kiss. His senses are overwhelmed by him, the taste of vanilla and strawberry and Taehyung is intoxicating. The heady scent of his cologne and the sea breeze fills his head and the sound of the ocean back dropping the pretty little moans he emits as Jeongguk sucks on his tongue has him completely enthralled.

Taehyung gives just as generously as he takes, threading his hands in Jeongguk's nape as he pulls him in even closer. He follows easily, like the tide to the moon.

By the time they pull away, the sun is already beginning it's descent, melting into the horizon.

The silver haired man tears his gaze away, leaning his head to the side to watch the day fade into dusk. But Jeongguk, he physically cannot look away, not when Taehyung looks like a fucking dream. Awash with the evening glow, he is golden. Somehow, despite being the one above him, he feels the need to bow his head in reverence.

"You're missing the sunset," Taehyung tells him, eyes following the last beams of sunlight as they disappear behind crystal blue waters.

"I'm not," he states, adamant. How could he possibly be missing a sunset when he is watching the way shadows cast on Taehyung's face move, when he gets to see the hazel flecks in his eyes appear and then slowly fade into a deep brown? And maybe he missed it, maybe he turned his back to a lovely sunset. But some things are worth missing a sunset for.

Kim Taehyung is worth missing 1000 sunsets.

Eventually though, his arms begin to ache through his sweater so he rolls on the ground next to him.

"Comfy?" Taehyung asks, propping himself on his arm as he leans on his enclosed fist.

Jeongguk does the same, facing him. "Could be considerably more comfortable if not for the sand honestly."

Sheepish he says, "I actually have a picnic blanket waiting in the car, but the thought of getting up to retrieve it does not sound appealing in the slightest."

Jeongguk chuckles, because same .

"Seems like you're getting a two for the price of one special today," he muses, reaching over to brush a few stubborn strands from his face.

"Hmm?"

He points skywards, directly at the waxing crescent moon. The memory of Taehyung saying the moon is to him, what the sea is to Jeongguk flashes clearly in his mind.

"Why do you like it so much?"

"I think everyone is probably a little bit in love with the moon, our guiding light when things are dark." His words bring Jeongguk's attention to the fact that night has fallen, their only source of light from the collection of stars in the sky, the moon and the lamp posts.

"But to me, specifically, it's about how constant it is. I can always find it, even if its face looks a little different sometimes, it's always the same. That's my source of comfort." 

There's a moment where they're just looking at one another, and he finally understands the saying 'the eyes are the window to the soul'. Because right now, as he is holding his gaze, he feels like he can see him. He can see the type of person that sprints to their neighbour's place out of concern, he can see the level of empathy of someone who cries when his pink haired friend cries in his arms, he can see the someone who invites someone into an aspect of their life because it brings them joy, he can see someone who is content just watching their dog happily run around for hours. He can see Kim Taehyung, and god he is marvellous.

Past how pretty he is, he is ethereal in a different way altogether.

It's sometime after 10, when they've wrapped up a conversation about extra-terrestrials, that Taehyung suggests they start heading home - he doesn't want to pick up Yeontan too late from Jimin's place.

When Taehyung gets up, there's a little bit of a tremor in his legs that doesn't go unnoticed.

"You good?"

He looks up from where he is dusting sand off and follows his eyes, "Yeah, I'm just a little tired."

"Company that bad huh?" Jeongguk teases.

"Best company in the world, just my 20s catching up to me," he gives a melodramatic sigh.

"Why does 20s all of a sudden sound like 80s."

"Might as well be," he yawns, rubbing over his eyes.

Jeongguk, still awake as ever, scoops him up into his arms, not paying any mind to the sharp intake of breath that follows.

"Talk about sweeping a guy off his feet," he laughs, still a little disoriented from having his entire center of gravity so abruptly shifted.

"You can go to sleep, I'll drive," Jeongguk tells him as they near the car.

Taehyung's fingers dance over the juncture of his neck, cool to the touch and Jeongguk wonders if there's still some redness from the burn.

"How do I know you're not going to drive to some deserted place and kill me?"

Ah yes, the true crime brain.

"You don't."

"Touché."

Still, he gets into the passenger seat and hands over the keys to his car.

"Get us home safely baby," he muses, sleepy.

The pet name has his entire being burning up. He doesn't even know how to formulate a response, or even any coherent words. But he ends up not having to, Taehyung's eyes fluttering shut just as he turns on the ignition.

He is more cautious during the ride than he was the day he had to obtain his license, but he does steal some glances of Taehyung. Lots of strands have abandoned the hair tie, now falling messily over the top of his face as he makes the softest little sounds through a pout. He's even a pretty sleeper , the world really is unfair.

The drive is almost startlingly quiet, he's never spent so much time without some sort of aural stimulation be it through music, a podcast or even conversation. But Taehyung is sleeping, curled impossibly around his seatbelt, and he doesn't want to risk putting anything on just for him to wake up.

Instead he spends the drive looking at the stars and really letting his thoughts run wild. It feels ridiculous, the way his heartbeat climbs and falls with an intensity, when he looks over to the man in the passenger seat. It hasn't even been a week, it has only been two dates and yet he can't fathom not waking up to one of Taehyung's daily good morning pictures which so far has just been Yeontan. Not that he is complaining, those eyebrows are a sure fire way to get someone's morning started.

And he won't call it love, it's too soon. Time is a social construct and it's still too soon. But it's not a crush, crush doesn't even begin to cover it. A crush is what he had weeks prior, when all he knew about Taehyung was that he was pretty, overflowing with kindness and held a grudge against him for reasons he didn't really know besides being pretty loud.

Infatuation, attraction, lust, smitten - none of them seem to hit the nail on the head, none of them all-encompassing enough. The one thing he is sure of, however, is that he'd like countless more days like this with him. More dates, more kisses, more everything .

They're back in Seoul when Taehyung stirs, long eyelashes blinking up at him as he gets his bearings.

"Nice nap?" he inquires, voice laced with fondness.

A languid smile answers him as the other stretches his arms out wide, unable to conceal his yawning as he does so.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Do you want to swap? We can pull over and I can drive from here on out?" Taehyung offers.

He shakes his head, "It's fine. Are you as hungry as I am though?"

"Thank God you said something, I could kill for a burger right now."

So, shoulders shaking with giggles from how in tune they were, they follow the GPS to the nearest diner.

("Really? A diner?" "Everyone knows all the successful couples have at least one diner experience." He definitely did not almost choke on air when he heard the word couple. "I think you watch too many American movies, Taehyung." "Maybe so, but I've also always wanted to try filter coffee so it's a win-win!")

The place they end up at is not so much a diner as it is a quaint little restaurant with lots of black and white interior, some pink here and there too. But he doesn't mention it, not when Taehyung's grinning big enough for the both of them.

Soon enough, two burgers, two milkshakes (one bubble-gum and one strawberry) and one shared plate of loaded cheese fries sits in front of them. They thank their server, and he makes a mental note to tip really well for them not mentioning their paint-splattered appearances.

There is also a cup of filter coffee, of which Taehyung had one sip before decidedly stating that coffee, across the board, is horrendous. He does not have an affinity for filter coffee either so it stays there, emitting miniscule swirls of steam as it cools.

He's sipping on his milkshake when Taehyung scoots over and nudges him.

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to dance?"

The movement of the blue liquid up his straw ceases immediately. When he swallows, the milkshake goes down like cement. "'scuse me?"

Amused as he is, that doesn't stop him from pulling at Jeongguk's arm until they're both standing beside the pink booth chairs, which upon closer inspection just looks more like a red colour faded over time.

"There's no music," he murmurs, looking around to see if anyone is watching them. Besides an older man, the two servers and the cashier, the diner is desolate.

Taehyung pays his words no mind, fishing out his phone from his back pocket only to open Spotify and play a song unfamiliar to Jeongguk. He simply hears the beginnings of a piano opening and then Taehyung's hands find purchase on his neck, and Jeongguk's hands move on their own accord to hold his waist.

"I don't know how to slow dance," Jeongguk shyly admits.

Taehyung pauses humming along with the song only to say, "Me too, just sway."

So he listens, sways as Taehyung croons with the lady singing the song.

The first time ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

His velvety voice is a breath away from his ear, and Jeongguk feels like he is doing it on purpose. Singing to him. Warmth spreads all over.

He quickly picks up the tune, humming alongside him, as they sway together. Emboldened, he even gives him a spin, which brings him back even closer to him this time. His head rests on Jeongguk's chest, just above where he knows his heart must be vibrating at an unhealthy frequency, as he continues to sway.

Ever the perfectionist, Jeongguk adds a few steps in as well, his own tendency to be good at things moving them across more of the diner's floor.

"Why'd you want to dance?" he asks, lowly. It's not like anyone can hear him, but still, the moment feels intimate and he doesn't want to ruin it.

"I've never slow danced with someone before." His words are a little muffled into his chest, but he hears him fine.

Jeongguk has always been a believer that 'first's' are overrated, it's not about the when but about the how, the what and the why. But he's willing to be called basic, by himself, because he knows he'll treasure this piece of information forever. He pulls away so that he can give him a proper twirl, fit for a first dance, and his laughter bubbling out makes him smile. After a few more spins, and even a dip that really tests his own self-restraint to not kiss the beautiful man grinning up at him as if he was the moon itself, Taehyung's head rests in the juncture of his neck an shoulder. He dips his head to press his lips to Taehyung's temple, to which Taehyung delightfully hums, the sound muffled into his neck. 

"Really? You seem to be a pro at swaying," Jeongguk says, taking small steps in tandem with him.

"Thank you, you're not so bad yourself." 

And they keep dancing until the song ends, Taehyung's voice a little forlorn as he sings the last few lines.

The first time ever I saw your face

Your face, your face, your face

They decide against dancing to another song, worried their food might go cold and slide back into their seats in the booth. Both of their cheeks are flushed but neither of them mention it.

He is mid-chew, of a rather substantial piece of his burger, when curious eyes lock in on his. Which almost ensues another coughing fit, thankfully he had good mind to swallow. Down the right pipe.

"Do you know your eyes look even bigger at night, or is that just something that happens when you're sleepy?"

They're impressively wide as they peer over at him.

"Can't say I've spent many a night looking at myself in the mirror, do you like spending your nights like that?"

A Cheshire cat smile and eyes twinkling with mirth clearly a playful Taehyung does make.

"I can't say I do. So why are you looking at me like that?"

"What's your biggest fear?" he asks instead of answering, before dipping a fry into the diner's special sauce and popping it in his mouth.

Jeongguk blinks. "Should I be concerned?"

"If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine," he sing-songs, eating even more fries.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Taehyung counters.

And he doesn't really have an answer to that so he answers honestly. "Turning into my dad."

His expression moulds into one of concern so quickly, his eyes no longer feline-esque but soft - sort of like the way a puppy would look at you if you got hurt is how he'd describe it.

"Sorry that was probably too much I-"

But Taehyung quickly shushes him, this time when he puts his hand on the table, he doesn't put it on top of Jeongguk's, instead he places it palm facing upwards to give him the choice to join hands instead.

He does, and it immediately makes him feel at ease. His jaw, he hadn't even noticed he'd been clenching, relaxes and his shoulders sag.

"I don't think my dad was the worst person, but he was far from the best. He wasn't winning any awards for his parenting style either to be honest, and it's because his whole life is that company and probably will be till he passes on. But the saddest thing is, he never really seemed happy, not with my mom or with us kids and not even when the company was doing really well. It always felt like something was missing and I don't know what I want from life, but that is the last thing I'd ever want to be." The word-vomit is out faster than he can even begin to try to put it back in, and he wants to crawl in on himself, completely out of his comfort zone being this vulnerable with someone.

He briefly considers the possibility of Taehyung being an actual angel sent down from the heavens because how does someone like this exist? Someone that completely obliterates every single built up wall, without even meaning to.

He can't ponder too long because he is being pulled into a hug, Taehyung nestling into his neck is added to his list of his favourite feelings ever.

"You're a great person."

Jeongguk plants a kiss against the crown of his head, the last remaining strands in the sprout tickling his forehead as he does so - even so, he keeps his lips there for a few moments.

He doesn't know how much time they spend, just holding one another. All he knows is Taehyung is warm, smells a little bit like the sea and when they part it's because a server comes to ask if they would like the bill.

Back in the car, they only have about 15 more minutes to reach Jimin's place according to the GPS. He is back in the driver's seat, and Taehyung is blatantly staring at him from the passenger seat.

"So what's yours?"

Taehyung makes a sound of question.

"Your biggest fear?"

"Being burned alive." He does a full body squirm when he says it, and Jeongguk feels a chill run down his own spine.

"Now I know I went too deep with my answer," he groans, lightly slapping the steering wheel.

Taehyung chuckles, "I liked your answer better, thank you for trusting me."

He doesn't really know what to say to that, so he turns his attention back to the road. Or at least he tries to, but Taehyung is very obviously staring and it is very distracting.

"Is there a reason you're analysing my face?"

"I'm looking at you the way you look at me."

So clearly he has not been as subtle as he thought. God he wants to dissolve into the abyss.

"I like the way you look at me."

That perks him up considerably, "Oh?"

"You don't just look at me to look, I feel like I'm being carved into your memory."

And oh, if only he knew how accurate his own words are.

"I want to try to do the same. Make you feel the same too."

Jeongguk offers his left hand, right still securely on the wheel, and he puts Taehyung's hand on his chest, just over where his heart beats steadily. "Now look at me."

Like clockwork, as soon as he feels Taehyung's gaze, his heartbeat accelerates like it's auditioning to be the co-star of Fast and the Furious.

"Oh ."

"Yeah."

"I think this is the best date of my life," Taehyung blurts out. Even he looks surprised he'd said it, eyes wide and fingers sprawled on his face.

"I think this is the best day of my life."

When Taehyung's smile takes over the whole of his face, his heart beat once again rises like he's being chased.

"Would you like to spend the night at my place?"

It's a miracle he doesn't crash the car right then and there, his knuckles turning white from his grip on the steering wheel. He must pick up on Jeongguk's current internal crises because he quickly clarifies.

"Wait no, I didn't mean it like that! Not that I wouldn't be interested in doing that with you, I just now meant to sleep over. Just sleep."

"Just sleep?" Jeongguk chokes out. He is still trying to wrap his head around how they got here.

"Maybe a few kisses."

And he is only a man, a love-struck man, so he agrees with ease.

"I just realised none of our dates ever end like normal dates do," he comments, drumming on the dashboard.

Jeongguk laughs, it's not not true. "Third times a charm?"

"Are you asking me out on another date?"

"That I am," he confirms.

"Then I am definitely saying yes."

It shouldn't make him as giddy as it does.

They're on their way to Jimin's when Taehyung gets a text from said best friend.

There's this really cute guy who works at the Jongno-gu veterinary hospital so out of the goodness of my heart I will be taking him for a check up ;).

"One of my friends, Namjoon, is actually doing an internship for the practical part of his degree at that hospital," he notes, offhandedly, as he pulls up to the red light.

"Small world."

His voice sounds peculiar, and when he looks over, right enough he sees Taehyung trying to suppress a yawn.

"Just go to sleep," he says, reaching an arm over to stroke his cheek.

He leans into the touch and Jeongguk's heart soars. For the nth time that day.

But even tired Taehyung is stubborn, vigorously shaking his head as he tries to keep himself awake.

"How did you meet Seokjin and Namjoon?"

His curious tone persuades him not to insist that he go to sleep but rather retell the story of meeting Namjoon in high school and third year Seokjin coming to a very wasted Jeongguk's rescue as he wandered around campus. Due to his inebriation he was basically directionless and because he was new, he was very unfamiliar with the environment which resulted in him basically walking in circles around a few of the on-campus dorms. That is till Seokjin spotted him while on his nightly stroll, something about the act of doing it clearing his mind, and sobered him up before giving him a run down of the campus and also his number.

"And obviously, I was sort of in awe and slightly enamoured and so I just sort of clung to him for the better part of my first year," he finishes.

"I was a rescue too! I'm a pretty social person but coming to a new city and starting university was so nerve wracking I just sort of situated myself under a tree until Hoseok and Yoongi, who I don't think I've told you much about yet but he is also one of my best friends, took me under their wing. They were older students too, and I met Jimin through Hoseok since they were in the uni's dance club."

He can't help but wonder what it would've been like to know Taehyung during university, if he'd be the one to 'rescue' him instead. Logically, he knows it wouldn't be possible, since Taehyung is two years older. Still though, it's a nice thought.

"By the way, you can just tap on the GPS home icon, and it'll give directions to get home," he mutters, voice riddled with fatigue.

Jeongguk scoffs. "I definitely know how to get to where we live from here."

But when he gets an opportunity to look over, always a careful driver at night, he finds Taehyung dozed off. He wonders if he should be offended, decides there's no way he could be when he looks so peaceful while sleeping.

By the time they've reached their street, he tries to wake him. Ever so slightly, he pushes at his arm, but to no avail. Taehyung has entered dream world and Jeongguk is sat with a dilemma.

Either, he can vigorously try to wake Taehyung up which does not at all sound like a fun time or he can have him sleep over at his place - they are neighbours so he could leave as soon as he woke up and it felt less creepy than manoeuvring his way around his place while the other was barely conscious.

So he scoops Taehyung up into his arms, closes the passenger door with his foot and trudges down his walkway to enter his home. It takes a bit of struggle to unlock the door while holding Taehyung up and then when they enter he's reminded of his music system. Taehyung makes a noise of complaint that's somewhere between a grumble and a growl, which has him essentially scurrying to turn the music down.

He decides he'll take the couch, and walks up the stairs with Taehyung in his hold to sleep in his bed. Placing him on the bed as softly as he can, he removes his shoes and gets a spare face cloth to wipe off the paint splattered on his face as well as loosen the last of the ponytail. His nose scrunches adorably from being bristled and touched, but soon he's still save for the small puffs of air from his parted lips. When he's finished, he covers him with the blanket and makes his way out of the room, sleepwear in hand before he freshens up and heads downstairs.

The couch has never been comfortable, having been bought by his mother for aesthetics rather than for practicality, but he goes to sleep feeling lighter, and more at ease than he's felt in a long time. 

But of course, there's no such thing as a benevolent universe. 

His back is surprisingly not in knots when he wakes up, which from the looks of it is just as the sun has finished rising. The first thing he does is check on Taehyung who is sound asleep and wrapped around one of his pillows. Most of his face is buried in the pillow so he can't really see his profile other than a part of his forehead that isn't covered by his silver locks, which is also fanned out on the pillow.

Since he's still sound asleep, Jeongguk decides against getting anything from the room and instead after he finishes up in the bathroom, he makes his way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

The brunet paces around his kitchen as he tries to come up with an impressive but not over-the-top meal; something that says boyfriend material, but he didn't try too hard. After racking his brain for a few moments and getting nowhere, he pulls up Naver and searches 'what to make for the pretty boy in my bed' - which also proves to be fruitless.

Frustrated he runs his hand through his hair. Then, as if he were an animated character, he sees a lightbulb appear above his head; which is more likely than not a product of still being sleepy. Nonetheless, it guides him to his fridge where he tries to piece together a meal with what he has in there at the moment.

He settles on: egg rolls.

To the untrained eye it might seem like a rather bland choice but Jeongguk has perfected the art of levelling up egg rolls. He knows which vegetables work and which don't, he's learned sautéing said vegetables makes it even better and his omelette rolling skills are MasterChef-level, if he does say so himself.

He puts on a pot of coffee for himself, and boils some water for tea for Taehyung as he gathers all the things he needs on the counter.

Before he begins, he gets one of the hair ties he stores in a box in the living room, and ties his hair back in a low ponytail so that it's out of his face - nothing annoys him more than that. Then, with the music streaming in through his Air pods, he sets to work.

This feels nice, making breakfast for someone else. Someone he likes.

Eventually he gets into the groove of it, Kiana Ledé in his ears as his egg rolls take shape in the pan. The sun has risen to his peak, and all the windows douses him in sunlight that lifts his mood even more. He's so into the whole process he doesn't notice Taehyung descending the stairs.

Not until a wide eyed Taehyung appears in his line of vision, looking confused and dishevelled and he concludes he just woke up. So he pads over with a smile, placing a soft kiss on his forehead as he greets him a good morning.

"What the fuck?"

Well, he definitely wasn't anticipating that response. Maybe he just isn't a morning person?

"Oh yeah I couldn't get you to wake up, so I thought I'd let you crash here instead," he explains. Remembering the egg role he goes back to the pan to check on them, the egg is still too runny so he leaves it be.

When he turns back to him, Taehyung wears an expression he's never seen on him before. Almost as if he is scared.... of him? Of something.

"Are you okay?" Concerned, he approaches him.

But that only has him taking a few obvious steps back. It stings.

Taehyung's eyes narrow at him, "Where is Joohyuk?"

"Who?" he asks, genuinely lost.

"Joohyuk, the person I went on a date with." 

"I'm the person you went on a date with," Jeongguk sighs. He subconsciously pulls at the sleeves of his pyjama shirt when a cold wisp of air streams through.

"No. You're my neighbour," he counters, crossing his arms.

It's then Jeongguk remembers the name Taehyung had called him on their first date, Joohyuk, who he clearly was not - which Taehyung would know considering all the time they've spent together.

He swallows. "Is this some type of joke?"

Taehyung doesn't deny it, instead he just stands there and looks right through him, like he hadn't been looking at Jeongguk like he put the stars in the sky the night before.

And his own insecurities begin to plague his mind as if they were waiting for this very moment, since he first called Jeongguk the wrong name. Before he knows it, his brain is running through a dozen ideas trying to piece together the puzzle. But nothing seems to fit. Nothing makes sense.

All he feels is betrayal and sadness sinking in like a plummeting rock in still water. Down, down, down.

Then a thought occurs, or maybe resurfaces from where it'd been niggling in the deepest crevice of his brain since all of this had started. If it's true then - he feels like he's going to throw up. "Was this supposed to be a gotcha moment? You pretend to like your shitty neighbour, get him to feel something for you and then just act like nothing ever happened? Like I don't exist?"

He doesn't even realise he's yelling until he feels his throat ache. For the first time, the music playing through his house feels awfully loud.

When he meets Taehyung's eyes, he looks blatantly guilty. He can almost hear the gavel. God, it hurts. Everything hurts.

It's unrecognisable, the dark chuckle that leaves his mouth. "Well, congratulations, I didn't expect a thing!"

"Jeon-"

He shakes his head furiously, "Don't."

Smoke coming from his pan grabs his attention for a moment, when he rushes over he finds the omelette blackened in the pan. He wants to throw it all out of the window, but he refrains.

After a deep breath, he grabs his car keys from the living room counter, angrily brushing past Taehyung to leave the kitchen.

Just as he swings the door open, he stops himself and turns to face him. "You're a pretty fucking stellar actor Kim, you really had me there."

With that he slams the door behind him as he gets into his car and just drives. He doesn't have a destination in mind, he just needs to get away - get away from Kim Taehyung and that look on his face, the suffocating smell of burnt eggs in his kitchen and the stupid fucking love song percolating through his home. 

He ends up at Seokjin's place, who takes one look at him as he opens the door and says ' Oh Jeongguk ' before pulling him into one of his I-got-you-hugs, right on his doorstep. It's comforting. He wants to fucking bawl.

His hyung ushers him inside, his hand rubbing soothing circles into his back.

"Would you like to talk, scream, stew in silence or throw something?" Is the first thing he says when they're seated on his sofa.

Jeongguk doesn't make eye contact, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. "All of the above."

"Any particular order suit your fancy?"

This is exactly why he ended up here, even if he didn't necessarily mean to drive to Seokjin's place. He is able to be comforting without overwhelming him in doting affection, which he doesn't really want or need.

"Am I stupid?"

This time, he does look at him; blood-shot eyes and all.

"Jeongguk-"

"He never called me by my name." The realisation hits him like a ton of bricks. Not once did he ever say his name on their dates, only referring to him as Joohyuk. And he let him; played the part like a puppet and Taehyung was the master.

The elder stays quiet as he listens to him try to understand why, how this happened to him. How he let it happen to him.

His thoughts run rampant with the mental images of him, the way he would look at him, the softness with which he spoke, each kiss and the touches . There's no way that person wasn't real, that everything was fabricated for the sake of hurting him - that's what his heart keeps telling him, that he knows Taehyung and he would never.

But his brain is quick to demolish any burgeoning hope, reminding him that he fell too hard too fast. Pathetic.

"There's no such thing," Seokjin says. "Feelings don't subscribe to mortal constructions like the passage of time, and the appropriateness of falling in love. They just happen."

Still, they'd only been on two dates. He shouldn't feel this betrayed, and yet he does. His hyung makes a disapproving sound when he vocalises this.

"I can't speak for his intentions, I'm truly as lost as you but I do know that you're not pathetic for letting someone in and them hurting you. However you feel is normal okay?"

He has no reason not to believe him, but he can't help but blame himself for his own lack of hindsight.

●～●

He must've passed out on the couch, because when he wakes up he is still in Seokjin's living room but he is nowhere to be seen and everything around him is inundated in darkness. Fitting.

Against his own better judgement, he grabs his car keys from the coffee table and heads out. This time, he knows where he is driving to. It's a long drive to reach Wando, so he pulls into a gas station to fill his tank and grab some coffee. Filter coffee from gas stations is easily the most horrid tasting coffee there is but his senses have gone pretty much numb so he can't find it in him to care.

It's only when he enters the gas station, and the attendant looks at him like she's petrified, that he chances a glance at the spherical mirror at the entrance. Somehow, he can see how blood shot his eyes are even with how distorted he appears on the reflective surface. But, more pressing is that he is in his pyjamas. He doesn't know how he hadn't noticed it earlier but he chalks it up to his current general apathy to everything.

So, before the coffee, he buys an ugly black shirt and grey sweats in his size. It's the type of outfit one would find him in after an all-nighter spent slaving over an essay during his undergrad years. If it weren't for the context, he'd feel nostalgic. He also buys black drawstring shorts for later.

After getting permission from the attendant, who now looks a little less alarmed and a little more worried, he changes in the back room for employees. In front of the proper mirror, he almost recoils. Miserable, that's how he looks. He'd always been told his eyes were his selling point, the distinct feature that really tied his features together. Now he can see it, because the terribly sad state of his eyes rolls off on the rest of his face as well.

After splashing on some water on his face, and trashing his sleepwear, he exits the room.

Trudging to the coffee machine, he looks around to see if he needs anything else. After pushing the buttons for an Americano, and placing a cup under the dispenser, he grabs a bento box and some chips. All of which end up on the counter in front of him as he places his emergency card (that he always leaves in his car) next to them.

"Are you okay?" She asks, timid. It has him glancing up at her, reading her nametag: Hong-ju. But she isn't looking at him: focus solely on scanning what he'd bought. He wonders if she's doing it for him.

"I'm fine."

A line as cliché as they come.

She stills, right hand still suspended in the air and holding his Banana Kick chips. "You don't look fine."

"I don't think this counts as good customer service," he grumbles.

This doesn't dissuade her in the slightest. "Broken heart or college rejection?"

"I'm a master's student," he defends. Because come what may, he is still the person who people always assume is way younger than he actually is, and thus he always feels the need to correct them. A force of habit.

"Ah, so it's heartbreak. Ouch." Her tone is sympathetic and that annoys him even more. It's not a big deal and he doesn't need sympathy.

"You can't be heartbroken after two dates."

Hong-ju scoffs. "Says who?"

"Logic," he supplies easily.

Finally, she continues to scan everything, while ringing up his clothes too. "Plastic bag?"

"Yeah."

She gives him a judgmental look, he doesn't blame her. Usually he'd bring out the bag he always has in the trunk of his car, but he just can't be bothered.

He sips from his coffee, bitter and disgusting, as she places his things into the bag. When he reaches over to take it, she doesn't release her hold.

"I met a girl once at a club, I just turned 20 so I didn't know what the hell I was doing and my dumbass went without my friends. But then this girl, so pretty it hurts, comes up to me with a megawatt smile and asks if I want to dance. I'm a horrible dancer but she told me it didn't matter, I should just move with her. So I did, and for the first time in my life, I felt alive-"

"Look, I don't know-"

She tsks at him, "Didn't your parents ever teach you it's rude to interrupt someone?"

"As I was saying," she continues, brushing a brown strand of hair out of her face, "She made me feel like I'd been living in black and white for the first twenty years of my life. When she kissed me, she tasted like vodka and magic and that alone had my head spinning. Then we danced some more, she invited me to grab some food when the club closed around 3AM, and I accepted. Over some Subway sandwiches she told me about how she wanted to be a surgeon because she'd lost her sister to malpractice during a surgery, and also that our Venus placements were compatible so we were meant to be. The next day I woke up in my bed, without a name or number. I mourned her absence more than I did a long term relationship."

Now, Jeongguk's not the only one who is misty-eyed.

"I say all of this to say, I loved her. Even if it was just for a night and I missed her for months after that. There's no minimum requirement, feelings aren't college applications."

"For better or worse," he adds.

She smiles at him, it somehow makes her look even sadder. "For better or worse."

Inside his car, he doesn't really know what he feels. He catches himself, watching Hyun-jo through the rear-view mirror. Thank you .

Fishing his phone out of the glove compartment, he checks his messages while he fills his tank. Four from Seokjin basically demanding he come back to his place immediately, one concerned message from Namjoon as well as a missed call and nothing from Taehyung. His heart drops in disappointment. He sends a message saying 'he's fine, just needs a day to himself' in the group chat, he pockets his phone and when his tank is full, he heads off to Wando. Driving for four hours during the AMs is not ideal, but he has a place he wants to go and at least there won't be traffic.

The music blaring from his speakers follow along with the different emotions he goes through. He doesn't really sing along, just drives and listens and feels.

First, Paul Kim's earnest voice fills the space as he thinks about how much he'd like to have Taehyung in his arms right now - how much he wants to wish what happened that morning away. Impossible by Shontelle transitions him into digging into his own frustrations, at himself, at Taehyung, at everything. He thinks about the way he'd opened his heart up to him, even told him about his dad. He slams a hand against his steering wheel. Talking To The Moon follows and thereafter he doesn't really keep track of what plays, just lets himself be sad. For the first time since that morning he allows himself to be sad without being angry or feeling guilty.

The rest of the ride is melancholic.

When he reaches Wando, he scarfs down the contents of the bento before heading to the docks and purchasing a ticket for the ferry. An almost three hour boat ride ahead of him to reach Jeju.

The moment he steps on the water bus, he feels a sense of ease wash over him; the current under the soles of his feet like a form of hypnosis. In that moment he knows he made the right decision, coming here.

He is thankful that no one tries to strike up conversation, most of the time on the ferry is spent listening to the burbling water and giving his mind a much needed break. By the time they reach the island, he feels a little more like himself. If Muchangpo is pretty, then Jeju is beautiful . He's been a few times before, one of his parents favourite domestic holiday spots, but it leaves him breathless each time. Especially now, a mere hour after the sun has risen, and everything is tinged with gold. The water is so blue, it's like liquid gems. An amass of greenery and large boulders give it character and the waterfalls are a sight to behold.

Immediately, after changing into the shorts he'd purchased, he makes his way to Jungmun's beach's shore. Throwing himself down on the pale, velvety sand and lets the water do what it always has done. Heal him.

Six hours in he realises his plan is flawed. All he can think about is how striking Taehyung would look lying here, next to him. He finds himself looking around for seashells to show him and wonders how he'd like the water. It's cold but he doesn't think the artist would mind. While it had settled a large bout of the anxiety coursing through him, it hadn't really helped with much else. 

'The sea is not going to fix your problems,' a voice inside of his head says. A voice that sounds suspiciously a lot like Namjoon.

Sighing, he lifts himself from the ground and buys a ticket for the first ferry back. At least he'd pay less than he'd expected for parking he supposes. 

He does spend the hour and a half he needs to wait for the boat sitting by the shore, at least trying to soak in the majesty that is the crystal blue water flowing to and then away from him. Though his fingers keep dinging themselves into the sand and he wonders when he'd gotten so used to holding someone's hand.

●～●

It's been two days since he returned from his impromptu trip to Jeju, which means the three days of wallowing he granted himself is over and he needs to return to being a functioning member of society, which means returning to campus. Forgoing the sweats, he makes sure he looks presentable. A crisp white top that he fill out nicely, dark navy jeans and his Oliver Cabell Low 1 sneakers. He is an adult after all. The only exception he makes is his hair, that he ties back out of his face. He's heading towards the door when something in his periphery catches his eye.

There, on the wall shelf, is the half of the seashell he had pocketed. Before he can stop himself he thinks, 'I wonder if Taehyung still has his'.

He makes a concerted effort not to look across the road at his place when he leaves. When he returned from Jeju he'd gotten a few messages from Taehyung, starting with ‘I'm sorry’ that was followed up with a string of messages just asking to talk. He hasn't really found the will to reply.

Time is what he needs. So time is what he'll take.

Well, that was his plan. That went out of the window as soon as he had whirlwinds of pink and red plopping down in front of him as he was waiting for his coffee at the on-campus café.

Park Jimin and Jung Hoseok.

The former is short, noticeable even when sitting down and pretty in a dangerous way. A leather jacket sits comfortably on his form and he has clearly been threading his hand through his hair which is styled off his forehead. The latter is taller, adorning a red t-shirt to match his fire truck coloured hair with a massive yellow smiley printed on it, and he looks somewhat more approachable. They have two things in common: heavy breathing and narrowed eyes that pin him to his seat.

Fan-fucking-tastic. 

It's Hoseok that speaks up first. "You're a difficult man to track down Jeongguk."

"Only when I don't want to be found." As far as he knows his friends could have all been part of the supposed joke. He doesn't want to talk to them and his tone makes that very clear.

Jimin groans. "Now that the low budget script talk is, over let's get straight to the point."

The brunet waves his hand, gesturing for them to speak.

"Taehyung filled us in on what happened-"

"-And we think there's been a misunderstanding along the way," Hoseok finishes.

When he doesn't speak, doesn't even blink, Jimin continues. "He told us you thought this was like a revenge plot or something of that nature, but I can promise you Taehyung would never do something like that."

"When we met, I didn't even know you were the guy he was dating-" It plucks at his heart, that word, does two dates even count as dating?

"So you weren't in on it?"

Hoseok's eyebrows knit together in confusion, "In on what?"

"The joke. Toying with me." The words are bitter on his tongue.

Jimin's expression softens, "Nobody was toying with you."

"Then why..."

"When I met you, I knew you as Taehyung's neighbour only. For him, it's sort of the same story."

Jeongguk regards Hoseok with a raised brow and an exhausted sigh. "What does that even mean?" 

"It's not for us to say, just talk to him, please. Hear him out. He would never purposefully hurt you, no matter the reason."

Taehyung's face that day takes shape in his mind's eye, awash with confusion and guilt and complete devastation. For the first time since the day he walked out on him, he feels like he could be completely wrong. It makes him feel better for a moment, than immeasurably worse.

But he still doesn't know anything so he tries his best not to expect much.

"You mean a lot to him."

That's the last thing Jimin says before they both leave with their drinks in hand.

He stays there for a while, he doesn't really know for how long, but he finds that all the ice in his coffee has melted when he looks down. He's missed a lecture too, 'so much for being an adult about things,' he mentally tells himself off.

●～●

"Matters of the heart aren't really my area of expertise."

Namjoon's place is a mess, but the mess only a very intelligent person would make. He's got books strewn around the apartment, mind maps, diagrams and quotes haphazardly stuck to the walls and the only place that seems organized, ironically enough, is his desk. Jeongguk thinks it makes for a pretty good physical representation of what goes on inside his friend's brain.

"Seokjin wants to beat my ass because I just left his place in the middle of the night the last time," he explains, making himself comfortable on the couch. This couch, an ugly orange colour that he'd bought Namjoon for his birthday a few years back, has been present for many of their talks.

"Oh yeah, he told me to give you this." He has enough time to dodge it, but he takes the punishment, a rather aggressive smack to his head with one of the couch pillows. He'd made his friends worry, so it's deserved.

"Hyung, what do I do?"

Namjoon's expression already tells him he won't like the answer. "You need to talk to Taehyung."

Jeongguk flops back against the couch, grunting.

"But what if all of this is just another way to make me look like a dumbass? I don't want to lose progress I've made only to end up back where I started."

"Oh so you're over him?" His knowing tone grates on the younger's nerves.

"No, but-"

Namjoon interjects once again. "You miss him less than you did a few days ago?"

"I don't like know-it-all-Namjoon," he grumbles, annoyed.

His shoulders shake as he softly chuckles, "I don't know it all, I know my best friends. And I know when they're self-sabotaging."

The words 'I'm not' are on the edge of his tongue, but he can't bring himself to say it. He was never a good liar.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I don't think a 'no' would stop you, so go ahead."

"Consent is important," he tuts.

Jeongguk clicks his teeth before vocalising that yes his annoying hyung can ask him a question.

"Do you think Taehyung is a bad person?"

He doesn't even take a second to think about it. "No."

"So how exactly did you come to the conclusion that this whole thing was a rouse planned on his part to, I don't know, knock you down a couple pegs?"

This time he does take time to answer. A few seconds. A minute. A couple of minutes.

"It just made sense," is what he eventually comes up with.

Namjoon nods, that knowing smile once again pulling at his lips. "So you don't think he's a bad person, but it makes sense that he would basically play with your feelings because you were a half-bad neighbour?"

When he puts it like that, well he can't help but feel a little stupid. Stupendously guilty too.

"I need to talk to Taehyung."

He says it like it's an epiphany, some great realisation - as if Namjoon hadn't said the very same thing just minutes prior. But the older let's him, and hopes everything will work out for the best.

Jeongguk's about to leave, having said thanks and a promise to take him out to the new place that had just opened - he'd heard many people raving about their samgyeopsal, when Namjoon calls out to him.

"You're not hard to love."

He stills. "What?"

"I think the reason why you so easily latched on to this whole thing with Taehyung being a prank or the like isn't because you think it's plausible, but more so as a protective mechanism. If I'm right then it's a good thing it happened now, rather than later. However, you need to stop running and pushing people away. I know you've always said you're waiting for the one, but you've got the potential to have something great right now."

His words are like a life jacket when Jeongguk didn't even know he was drowning.

"I'm not really sure about what transpired between the two of you, but if you're going to hear him out I hope you remember that you deserve good things, a good person and a good love."

Jeongguk doesn't really know how to respond, still trying to process all of it, so he pulls him in for a hug that he hopes gets what he feels across.

It's hard to sleep that night, head clouded with what Namjoon had said.

Was he projecting his own insecurities onto Taehyung? Making a whole narrative in his head even though it wasn't fair to him?

His heart feels a bag of cement was just dropped on it. Grabbing around for his phone which is somewhere on his bed, he almost messages him. A string of apologies ready to be sent. Yet, there's still so many unanswered questions. Questions that only Kim Taehyung can answer.

He falls asleep somewhere in between thinking about how he should approach talking to him and ruminating on the magic that is Taehyung's smile.

●～●

It's Wednesday, a couple of days after his visit with Namjoon and his one off day in the week, that he gathers the courage to march over to Taehyung's place. Each step feels heavier than the last, and he wants to turn on his heel just as he is about to knock on the door. Taehyung's dog, Yeontan, has other plans though - he can hear him scratching at the door and barking, probably having sensed Jeongguk's presence.

"What? You got a hot date to get to or something hotshot?" He hears Taehyung ask, followed by the sound of the door being unlocked.

It takes a moment for him to notice Jeongguk, when he does a small 'oh' falls from his lips.

"Jeongguk?"

Hand scratching at his nape, he replies, "Hi."

It's not exactly the most eloquent thing to start with, but a start is a start.

He takes a moment to look at him, a subtle trail of his eyes over the planes and slopes of his face. It’s not like his eyes are puffy, or dark circles now reside under them. However, the younger notices the way they don’t hold the glimmer he’s gotten accustomed to. He doesn’t look especially pale or unkept. Yet, the brightness that seemed to radiate from him, feels dim, disconsolate. 

The urge to pull him into his arms is sudden and intense but he swallows it down, clearing his throat. 

"Would you like to come in?" Taehyung asks, simultaneous to Jeongguk asking, "Can we talk?"

"Uh-"

He moves aside to let Jeongguk in, leaving the door open for Yeontan.

"Make yourself comfortable."

Taehyung gestures to his couch, a pretty comfortable looking L-shaped, charcoal settee. With tentative steps he makes his way to the couch, sitting at the very edge.

"Would you like something to drink?"

When Jeongguk takes a minute too long to answer he adds, "I've got banana milk."

For a moment he forgets the seriousness of the situation, perking up like a puppy at the mention of a favourite beverage. The older notices, a hint of a grin on his face when he says he'll be right back with the drinks.

As Taehyung leaves, his eyes take the opportunity to roam around his surroundings. In the same way Namjoon's place looks exactly like what you'd expect of an academic, Taehyung's feels like the quintessential artist's home. Well, the living room at least.

There are mismatched trinkets and ornaments lining the shelves, a startling contrast to his own rather minimalist place, and he can tell just from looking, they were chosen for sentimental reasons rather than to cater to an aesthetic. Or maybe individually, he found some of them pretty and then just displayed them all without any rhyme or reason. In the corner of the room, there are three standing canvases, varying in height, and on an adorably stout table is an easel. Ceramic and plastic cups are littered across the flat surfaces, all housing at least one paintbrush and, he presumes, paint-tainted water.

There's also a few pictures in, what looks like DIY, frames. A younger Taehyung, with the same smile and two older individuals which must be his parents. Pictures of him with his siblings, and one with his friends - it must've been from a while ago because all of them have dark brown, almost black, hair.

It feels very lived in, a space full of love, creativity and memories. It puts him at ease in a way he'd never expect a house to be able to.

Taehyung returns shortly, banana milk in one hand and his beverage of choice in the other.

"So..."

"So?"

It's awkward and it feels so unnatural for it to be awkward between the two of them.

The thing is though, Jeongguk's thought about this for so long, he just doesn't know where to start. Luckily, Taehyung starts for him. "It's a lot, what I have to say, and it easily overwhelms people. So how about you ask whatever you want and I'll try to answer to the best of my ability."

"Okay," he starts, setting his drink on the coaster. "Were you really supposed to meet up with someone for a date that night, the night we met?"

He seems surprised that Jeongguk chose that as his first question, brows raising considerably.

"Yeah, I just didn't know what he was supposed to look like, my friends thought it'd be more genuine that way. So all I knew was that he was wearing a suit and he had dark, lengthy hair."

"And you really didn't recognise me that night?"

Taehyung shakes his head with conviction. "No, and you didn't correct me when I called you Joohyuk."

He ducks his head, face feeling warm. "I thought you were trying to do a restart, as in maybe it was your way of giving me a chance despite getting off on the wrong foot as neighbours. And you looked a little scared, that's not the right word, worried maybe? Yeah, you looked worried when I didn't respond to the name."

And I've had a crush on you for weeks, I'd let you call me anything you like honestly .

Taehyung nods."Oh, well thank you for looking out for me then. Do you have another question?"

Do you really like me?

"How did you not recognize me? I can understand the first date, considering we don't interact all that much but after you came to my place and the other date? I just can't understand it, no matter how I look at it."

Taehyung's foot stops tapping on the laminated flooring. "Long or short answer?"

"Whichever will make me understand," he answers.

Taehyung takes a deep breath, shoulders falling as he exhales. Time seems to slow down as Jeongguk waits for what he thinks is going to break his heart. "I have face blindness, or prosopagnosia if you want to be scientific about it."

That is not what he was expecting at all. "What? "

Confusion must be written all over his features, because Taehyung asks if he should explain it in a little more depth.

Half-processing his words, he nods languidly.

"When I see someone, I can see their face, I just can't recognize their face. So I use other things to help me recognise people, like hair and people's voices, tattoos and even the way people walk. I know this may sound ridiculous now, but in my head you and 'Joohyuk' were two very different people."

When Jeongguk doesn't respond, mind still reeling, he continues. "Right now I can match the similarities, like the long hair. But because I'm so accustomed to seeing dark hair, considering the homogeneity of our country, and how popular long hair is lately - I need to make clear distinctions in my head so as not to mess up. So, in my head I remember my neighbour Jeongguk has long unruly hair that's usually pushed out of his face with a headband. Whereas the you who I went out on dates with had your hair styled neatly, a few strands falling over your forehead and once slicked back into a ponytail."

The elaboration makes it a little bit easier to understand, easier to make sense of in his head. His thoughts are still swirling around though, looking for something to ground themselves in.

"You said you use ‘voice’ too, did you not recognise mine?"

Taehyung's huffs a laugh, "One would think recognising voices would be an easy fix, but it's actually painstakingly difficult - especially with people I haven't known for extended periods of time. Also, somehow your voice would always be somewhat distorted when we'd talk as neighbours. That day you came over after the date, music was playing in my Airpods, and there's always music playing in your home."

His music system. He's gotten so used to it, the constant flow of music that it doesn't really influence how he hears other people. Or how they may hear him.

"I've also never seen you shirtless, or even with your arms bare so I didn't know you had tattoos," he adds.

Jeongguk nods, he sort of kind of gets it. But he still needs to ask, "Didn't you even have a little bit of a suspicion?"

"Actually, if I didn't know you're a virgo, I'd guess you're a gemini. You're a very dyadic individual. On our dates your posture is something to envy, and you walk like you own your surroundings. That is very different from your relaxed gait in your place, especially in your kitchen and you even slouch a bit when you watch tv. Also my neighbour is a self-proclaimed anti-capitalist and the guy I went out with is an heir to a chaebol. You 'two' couldn't be further apart in my mind."

He takes a few minutes to really let everything sink in, and to wrap his head around it. He thinks he owes it to Taehyung to at least try to understand. As his mind rummages through his memories it all sort of clicks, the way the other man was always so attentive, how he'd take a few moments to recognise him and of course - never calling him by his name. The puzzle piece slots in perfectly as he recalls the way Taehyung's smile had looked empty when he mentioned Hoseok's grin, what he'd said about appreciating always being able to recognise the moon - even using the term face, which Jeongguk had just thought was a unique way to phrase it, and the sadness lingering when he sang the song they'd danced to at the diner. Suddenly the way Taehyung seemed to study his own face in the mirror, and each of his friends having bright and identifiable hair colours - it all makes sense.

After a long stretch of silence he says, "I'm sorry for never correcting you when you called me Joohyuk, I should've said something."

"Yeah, it would've helped," the older agrees. He doesn't sound particularly upset, just a little regretful.

Something about it, takes him back to that morning in his kitchen. The words he said, the look on Taehyung's face. His chest feels heavy, as callous fingers enclose around his heart only to crush it as easily as he would a can of coke. The laborious weight of guilt.

"Taehyung," he starts, head downcast - too ashamed to meet his eye. "God, I'm so sorry . I should've never assumed anything, I made you out to be the bad guy, when I was the one being an asshole. I should've heard you out, but I lashed out instead. I'm so fucking sorry."

His tone is laden with regret and earnest self-blame. "I can't take back what I said, or the wound my words may have caused but I apologise, from the bottom of my heart."

Taehyung stands from where he was perched on the arm of his cushioned chair, takes a step and doesn't stop walking till he's outside the room. Jeongguk's heart sinks, terrified that this is the end for them.

He knows he doesn't deserve another chance, but he lets himself be selfish and admit he wants it, wants another chance. He doesn't think he can go back to only getting glimpses of him through his window - not after he has held his hand, had conversations he'll treasure, kissed him and had him look at him in the way he does.

Life without Kim Taehyung just doesn't sound right.

He's about to call after him when he hears him padding towards him until he's about an arms length away, facing him and holding a portrait sized canvas between his hands. He can't see what is on it, his view limited to the back of the canvas.

"I've been working on this since our date, after that morning I tried so hard to remember your face, to put it to paper and I guess to not hurt you again the way I did. The way you looked, the pain on your face Jeongguk, it broke my heart. But try as I might, I couldn't do it-"

He is eager to reassure him, to tell him it's okay and he didn't do anything wrong but Taehyung shakes his head.

"I hurt you Jeongguk, I did. It wasn't my intention but I made you sad and probably made you question everything, including our feelings. More than anything else, I regret not telling you about my prosopagnosia on our first date."

He continues, "Like I said, I just couldn't remember your face and so I decided I'd leave the half I'd already done at the art café and decided to fill the rest with what I know, it's partially unfinished but I think right now, it's actually what it should be." With that, he turns the canvas over so that the painted part is visible to him.

Seeing his artwork is like seeing the canvas come alive.

A picture-perfect rendition of the left side of his face looks back at him, everything from the angular jawline, the silver earrings, the slight prominence of his cheek bones when he grins, the mole under the lips where his teeth smile back at him to the slight shimmer of his round eyes. It's him .

The right side is a whole other story completely, rather than the raven strands messily styled and half falling onto his face, is an ocean. His hair is a cluster of waves, cobalt blue and turquoise. Where his right eye would be there is a seashell, the very same one he'd gotten and the both of them had kept. From the eye falls a string of words like chaebol, heir, conglomerate and he can't help but chuckle at the thought of Taehyung searching for commerce-related works all focused for his art piece, it's so endearing. The words are tears that seem to fall into the opening of a crescent moon, as if to represent Taehyung stopping them from going any further. The moon is surrounded by a smattering of golden stars. Finally, a sideways bass cleft makes up his smile. There's still empty space; his temple, some of his inner cheek, the bottom left part of his face - almost like he needs to get to know more about him to finish it. It's like he left the open space for that reason. All in all though, it's him .

"You're incredible," he breathes. "I don't know what else to say, it's amazing."

For the first time that day, Taehyung's face splits into a wide, gorgeous smile. "Thank you, Jeongguk."

It's nothing like the time he'd called Jeongguk baby, it's so much better. The way his name rolls off his tongue makes it sound like it is a term of endearment in of itself. Especially now that he is looking at him on the day he did on all those dates. Now he wants to barricade his name to anyone else, only ever wants to hear Taehyung say it. He does it best.

After a breath to steady himself, he acts on his desire to ask him out on a date. "Would you like to go on a date with me, as Jeongguk, your neighbour?"

"No."

It is a blow to the chest, sending him staggering to the back ever so slightly. "Oh, I see." His heart plummets to a new low, realisation settling in that he blew it. He had something good, something that could've been great and he fucked it up. And now all he can do is watch as it slips through his fingers, like sand through an hourglass.

Just as he takes a few steps out of the living room and into the hall, Taehyung's hand surges forward to grab his upper arm. He halts with the movement, turning his head to face him.

His eyes are drawn to the way Taehyung's glisten with barely held back tears.

The urge to comfort hits him just as it did earlier, despite and even because of what had just transpired between them. Still, he keeps his arms by his side.

"If you're going to ask to just be friends, that's fine, I just need to be on my own right now," Jeongguk says. He doesn't make any effort to break away from the other man's hold though.

"I like you, and I could easily see myself liking you even more. It's just-" he has to stop, getting choked up as he tries to explain, "-It's just, you so easily believed that I was capable of creating this elaborate scheme all for the purpose of hurting you. I can see by the way you talk to me, look at me and treat me that you don't think I'm a bad person but that morning you believed it. I can't just act like that didn't happen."

He has nothing to say, nothing he could possibly say. Everything he said was completely right. Tears start to prickle at his own eyes.

"So I think we both need some time, both to come to terms with what we did to one another and what was done unto us. And when we're ready, well then I'd like to go on 100 dates with you."

He thinks it's very dangerous the way Taehyung can shatter and mend his heart all in two sentences.

Like a fool all he can manage is a nervous, "100?"

"100."

The door being pushed open has Jeongguk's reply going unheard, there in the doorway stands the one friend he hasn't met yet. Min Yoongi. There is something about the way his intimidating aura accentuated with a leather jacket and piercing stare is juxtaposed with the softness with which he cradles Yeontan in his arms.

The older looks straight past him at Taehyung, raising a brow. "This Jeongguk?"

Since he's still facing Yoongi, he doesn't see his reaction, but he can assume he nods as Yoongi's eyes narrow. He gulps.

He knows what he must think of Jeongguk, the horrible guy who had treated his friend horrendously. An absolute dick of a person, and he doesn't feel the need or even the desire to defend himself because to some degree, he agrees.

"We're cool now though," his neighbour assures, voice tight.

He does not look convinced at all. "'s that why you look like you're ready to burst into tears?"

"Hyung."

It's the first time he's heard Taehyung whine, like that, and it gives him some insight into their relationship. Very sibling-like type of best friends, which means Yoongi is most definitely taking on the protective older brother role.

"Maybe I should go?" he offers, eyes darting between the two friends.

"Maybe you should."

With a nod and a slight bow he makes his way down the hall and out the house, taking extra care to not bump into Yoongi as he makes his way out. He's almost at the end of the walkway when he hears Taehyung call for him. Within seconds he's in front of him, trying to catch his breath.

He hands the canvas over, "I want you to keep this."

Jeongguk takes it with a small smile, "Take care, Kim Taehyung."

"Don't say it like that."

"Like what?"

"Like it's goodbye."

With one last smile, he steadies his hold on the painting and goes home. Yet, walking away from Taehyung who watches him go, it feels like the complete opposite. It's the first time he ever feels homesick for a person.

He gets one last glimpse of him as he closes his door, Taehyung's mop of silver hair disappearing behind his own.

●～●

The days pass by in a flurry of assignments, melancholic playlists and the scent of Taehyung's cologne fading out of his room. He misses him a lot, the word 'miss' feels inadequate, not-enough to truly encompass how he feels. Every time he sees him, through his window or as he drives to university, he has to resist the urge to call his name and say hi.

They hadn't really discussed what this 'taking time' would entail, how much or little contact they could have. Jeongguk takes the other's lack of attempts at communication as an indicator that they're going cold turkey.

He also talks to Namjoon, asks him to elaborate on what he'd said the other day. About his protective mechanisms; he takes the time to think about whether it was the driving force behind how quick he was to jump to the worst case scenario with Taehyung. Taking the time to really understand himself, and his insecurities is something he prioritizes - even making a turn by one of the university's therapist's office. The visit is mostly just him talking through things, trying to weed through and untangle his thoughts and feelings. He also gives her a run down of everything that happened with Taehyung - taking extra care to not mention his prosopagnosia, since he didn't know if Taehyung would be cool with it. Though he had spent hours researching the condition, what it entailed and how to be more accommodating of people who have it. It's important to him that he's able to be there for him, just as he would for anyone else he cares about, even if it took a little bit more learning.

By the time the session is done the therapist, Dr. Nam, peers at him curiously over her glasses. "Well, Jeongguk, it seems like you're rather self aware. I don't see how I could be of any help."

"I want to know how to fix it," he mutters, shyly.

"Fix it?" she prompts.

"Fix me."

She makes a humming sound, equal parts understanding and sympathetic.

"You don't need to be fixed, there's nothing to fix. You have insecurities sure, and they sound like they can be pretty invasive but it's nothing you can't work through."

Jeongguk bites his lip, "So what do I do?"

"Trust yourself, be willing to put your trust in others. Remember you're just as deserving of love as everyone else."

He doesn't miss how similar her words are to Namjoon's. He makes sure to take the time to internalise it.

●～●

It's been three weeks since he'd spoken to Taehyung, he wants to go to him - tell him that he's ready. He wants this, wants him. But part of what he's working on, is his patience. He wants to give him all the time he needs, because more than anything else, he wants to do it right.

So he doesn't even take a step in the direction of his place, he throws his phone to the side and works out instead. Not before stopping to look at the painting Taehyung had made, displayed on his wall - the only piece of art he owns, which he is more than okay with. The painting has really been his saving grace these last couple of weeks, a reminder of how Taehyung sees him, how much he clearly feels for him - and every time doubt starts to present itself, the painting reminds him that Taehyung is waiting for him too.

A few days later, he is startled awake by his phone buzzing. He's not too sure of what time it is, somewhere in the late afternoon is his best guess. As soon as he came home from classes, after pulling an all-nighter, he dragged himself to bed. Very ready to sleep straight into the next day.

But he blinks his eyes open, squinting because of the brightness, as he tries to read who the message is from.

Taehyung.

He screws his eyes shut before opening one to peek at the screen, just to check. Sure enough, it is his name right on top of his notifications.

Are you free this Saturday?

Be cool, be cool.

Yes : )

Would you like to hang out with my friends and I?

It's not the reunion he'd expected per se but he thinks it's for the best, ease them into things and whatever their new relationship looks like.

I'd love to

I'll be at yours around 6pm then :]

Sounds good.

When he wakes up it's already dawn and for a second he thinks he dreamt the whole thing, when he checks his phone though, it hits him that it's real. Tomorrow he'll see Taehyung for the first time in almost a month, the feeling is surreal.

The thought of sleeping in till the next day is tempting, but he has plans. Plans that require him hauling his ass to the salon supply store. From there he texts Seokjin to come over, a two-parter since he required his hyung's help with his plan and he hasn't had Seokjin come to his place and cook them a meal in a while. Maybe he misses him.

They set to work straight away, mirror in front of them and transparent gloves on their hands.

“Who knew you were so thoughtful Jeonggukie,” Seokjin quips, ruffling his hair. 

He sends a smile his way, the one where his teeth are peeking, "Thanks for your help hyung."

"Just don't go finding cooler friends, remember I was here since your bowl cut days!"

He's about to reassure him when he has an idea, so he fishes his phone out of his pocket to ask Taehyung if it would be okay for his friends to join.

Not a minute later he replies with an 'of course, the more the merrier :]'. He also tells him they should dress comfortably and maybe not wear white. Curious, he quirks a brow at his phone. When he asks why, Taehyung simply responds that it wouldn't be a smart idea for what they'd be doing.

His eyes fall on the white shirt splattered and sploshed with paint from their second date, at first he let it hang outside of his cupboard with the excuse that he didn't want to get the paint on his other clothes. While it doesn't pose that risk anymore, he still leaves it there, always in his line of vision. Seeing it takes him straight back to that day; the subtle smell of the paint, the taste of his iced coffee, the softness of Taehyung's lips against his own. He'll get married in that damn shirt, he's pretty sure.

"Stop doing that thing with your face." Seokjin says, drawing him out of his head.

Jeongguk blinks. "What thing?"

"That weird smile where you look like you're crossfaded."

"I am crossfaded," he sighs, "My heart is crossfaded on Taehyung."

His hyung rolls his eyes. "You're in so deep."

"The heart wants what it wants."

Seokjin grimaces, "I refuse to deal with love-song-quoting-Jeongguk, especially now when you're so clearly lovesick. So I'll get started on the food."

Lovesick. Yeah, he can't even deny it.

●～●

It's exactly 6:05 pm when he hears a rapt at his door. Taehyung.

He takes one last look in the mirror (which would be the umpteenth time for the day) and he is satisfied, just like he was the last dozen times. The tattoos on his arm are on full display, even the tail end of his upper arm tattoo - an ocean of waves wrapping around his arm like a bracelet - peeking from the end of his simple black t-shirt. Argent chains draped on his strapped cargo pants match his studded ears and the thin, silver bands on his fingers.

His footsteps are heavy in his chunky black sneakers as he approaches the door.

He takes a moment to inhale, deeply, before he reaches for the door handle. The moment he opens the door, he's grateful he did. The sight of Taehyung leaves him breathless .

Unsure if it's because he looks so good - grey curls atop his head that look so soft he has to physically resist the urge to reach out and run his fingers through his hair, a blue baseball jersey that's cropping had clearly been Taehyung's work and a belly ring that makes his mouth go dry - or if it's been so long since he's seen him this close, close enough to see the mole on his nose and smell his cologne. He reckons it's both.

Their words tumble over each other when they speak.

"You have a belly piercing."

"Your hair is blue."

Taehyung nods excitedly, "I do, what do you think?"

"It's nice," he manages, voice so obviously strained he wants to punch himself.

The other man's face falls into a pout, "You don't like it?"

He takes one last look at it, a stud on top with a pretty crescent moon at the lower end, and he would like his mouth on it that he is absolutely sure of.

"It's pretty. Fitting."

Taehyung's cheek bunch up when he grins. The smile that has him suddenly enamoured with rectangles, always evoking the memory of said smile.

"What about you, what made you decide to get blue streaks?"

Jeongguk bites his lip, scuffling side to side. He doesn't know why he is nervous now, when the deed had already been done - yesterday he was balls to the walls so he needs to just come out and say it. He just hopes Taehyung doesn't take it in the wrong way.

"Well, I was doing a bunch of research and I remembered what you said about using hair as a identifying trait so I figured since I have so many different hairstyles, this way you'll be a able to spot me a little easier yeah - like you know if we were in a crowded place for whatever reason or maybe if I came over and my hair was like in space buns I don't know I just-"

Taehyung's soft laughter has him cutting his own rambles short, and when he reaches over his touch, feather-soft, against his jaw he's pretty sure he stops breathing. "Thank you Jeongguk."

"I like that," he confesses, ever so slightly leaning into the touch.

"Hmm?"

"When you say my name."

"I like saying your name," he breathes, leaning in as his eyes trail down to Jeongguk's lips.

He leans in too, shiver running down his spine when Taehyung's eyes flutter shut. His eyelashes are so long, it's something he's never really thought about till this very moment, the prettiness of eyelashes. But he's resigned himself to be unsurprised anytime he finds a new Taehyung-thing to be enamoured by.

They're so close now, a millisecond away from their lips touching.

Then a phone rings and the moment seems to evaporate out of existence.

For a moment Taehyung seems conflicted, palm still holding the side of his face but then he pulls away and grabs the device from his jean's pocket and answers the phone.

"Hyung?"

He doesn't really hear what the other person is saying, the phone isn't on speaker and he's still sort of dazed. But from Taehyung's replies he can put together that they're asking about Taehyung's whereabouts and how long it'll take them to get there. Wherever there is. After reassuring whichever hyung was on the phone with him that they'll be there soon, he smiles unabashedly at him.

"Let's go, the cab will be here in a minute."

And just as he'd said, Jeongguk's keys still jingling after he'd pocketed them - the cab arrives. His brows knit in confusion. Why would they need a cab, they both have cars? This confusion is only heightened when Taehyung asks the cab driver to take them to Jamsil Stadium.

Turning in his seat to Jeongguk, he asks, "How do you feel about baseball?"

"My dad likes the Lotte Giants?" he offers, because really that's all he's got. Baseball has never been his sport of choice, admittedly he had enjoyed the sight of the players in those pants during his teen years.

He gasps, "The enemy!"

"I'm on whatever side you're on, I support Kim Taehyung," he says, waving his hands as if he were a cheerleader holding pom-poms.

"Exactly what I'm looking for in a man."

He humours him. "To bend to your will and satisfy your every whim?"

Taehyung winks, "Bullseye."

It makes his heart gallop in his chest, he'd missed this so much. Bantering with Taehyung felt so natural and airy, talking to him the easiest thing in the world.

"I'll text my friends to meet us there," he says, pulling up his messenger app.

"I can't wait to meet them," Taehyung tells him.

Still focused on typing the message he, without even realising, reveals, "Yeah they can't wait to meet the guy I can't shut up about either."

He doesn't notice that his neighbour has gone quiet until he puts his phone back into his pocket. When he turns his head, he catches Taehyung staring at him. Crimson cheeks and all.

"What's up?" he asked.

Taehyung shakes his head, "My friends are excited to see you too."

"Even the one who looked like he wanted my head on a stake?"

This causes Taehyung to erupt into laughter. Jeongguk doesn't understand what's so funny about his beheading. He voices this which only further spurs his guffaws on.

When he recovers he tries his best to assure him that Yoongi doesn't want to bring him any harm and that he's just protective - which he'd already figured.

"It was actually his idea to invite you y'know, he's the one that initiates all of our baseball game hangouts. Part of the fan club and everything, so he gets a bunch of tickets as part of his membership and now it's a thing - we always go to the big games. None of us really understand the logistics of it like he does, but it's honestly one of my favourite things to do. The atmosphere is exhilarating."

Taehyung admitting that he doesn't know all that much about baseball is a relief but he can't help but be nervous at the prospect of Taehyung's friend using this as an opportunity to scrutinize him. However, before that seed can bloom into full-blown self-doubt, he acknowledges and then waves it off. No need fretting on something that may not even be true - something he has learned in the last few weeks and works hard on implementing.

"I'm sure it'll be great."

When they reach the stadium, Taehyung's friends are waiting close to the entrance. They're very easy to spot with their vibrant hair colours. He doesn't see his own friends anywhere - he's about to message them when he gets a text from Namjoon saying they're close.

So he follows Taehyung to the lion's den. Hoping he won't get eaten alive at least until he got to see how he'd react to Jeongguk's lips where his belly ring is situated.

"Hi."

Three very different expressions greet him. A bright, heart shaped smile beams at him courtesy of the red-head, Hoseok. Jimin, whose pink hair looks like cotton candy, is watching him with a curious glimmer in his eyes. Finally, with a look he can't really decipher, is Yoongi. Adding Taehyung's loose, silver curls to the mix and they sort of look like ice cream toppings.

"Your hair is different," Is the first thing Jimin says.

Taehyung makes an 'ah' sound. "Oh yeah, they told me you guys met already. So no formal introductions are necessary then?"

Jeongguk gives a nod of his head. "Nice to see you again Jimin-ssi, Hoseok-ssi, Yoongi-ssi." He tilts his head a little further down when he bows to Yoongi, an action that doesn't go unnoticed by Taehyung who takes his hand.

"He actually did it for me, adding the blue streaks, so I'd be able to identify him easier," he states, and he looks so elated Jeongguk's heart skips a beat, or two. "Isn't he incredible?"

When he looks over at Taehyung's friends, all of their features have softened as they watch them. Even the mint-haired man regards him with a smile. It settles the last remaining specks of anxiety in his chest, the rest of which Taehyung had completely obliterated when he wove their fingers together.

Before anyone can answer him, they hear someone (well, two someones) calling for Jeongguk. Turning, he sees his friends advancing towards them. As they get closer he can see them zeroing in on their clasped hands, and knowing smiles pulling at their lips.

After they get through introductions, and what he definitely thinks was Jimin and Namjoon flirting as they seemed awfully familiar, they make their way inside the stadium. The game hasn't even started and it's already roaring with energy. People are playing music, having loud animated conversations and cheerfully colliding their plastic cups that have the contents sloshing around the rim.

When they get to their seats, four of them next to one another and three seated right below, Jimin opens his bag that Jeongguk hadn't even noticed till now. In it, there are face paints, brushes and some rolled up banners.

"Yoongi-hyung you're so lucky you're not playing the Giants this week, I spent my whole lunch hour the other day buying new blue paint."

"He couldn't even name three players on the Giants team, he just supports them because they're Busan's team," Hoseok whispers to him.

But, like a cat that hears its name being called he whips his head in their direction, "Please Hobi-hyung, you do the same thing with the Tigers!"

"Namjoon does the same with the Wyverns," Seokjin pipes up.

"So what I'm hearing is we're all posers," Taehyung says.

Yoongi is quick to interject, "Speak for yourselves."

"What about you Jeongguk?" Jimin asks, sorting through the paints and brushes.

He can feel Yoongi's eyes on him, peering as he admits he doesn't really know much about the sport.

"Finally one honest person," said guy says - completely throwing Jeongguk off. He's even more confused when he sends a reassuring smile his way. He doesn't even notice Taehyung watching the whole exchange, a warm feeling blossoming in his heart as a result.

"I never claimed to like baseball!" Seokjin argues. "I like my diamonds nine carat not," he looks over at the field, which is kept in pretty pristine condition, "mowed."

It pulls peals of laughter from the group.

"Okay so Taehyung and I will start with the face painting and why don't Yoongi and Jeongguk get the food and drinks?" Jimin offers.

He blinks. Huh?

"Sounds good, any requests?"

When they've gotten everyone's requests, in addition to the standard chimaek , Yoongi climbs the steps to reach the in-stadium convenience stores and Jeongguk follows in tow. They're silent as they approach the stores, it's only after the older of the two places the order that he turns to face him.

"Yoongi-ssi?" he asks, when he doesn't say anything to him.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot, which I can admit is my fault."

Jeongguk is quick to shake his head and wave his hand. "No, no. You were just being a good friend, I hurt Taehyung, so I completely understand being protective and standoff-ish. If I was you, I'd probably have reacted the same. Especially... especially for someone as great as him."

"You really like him?" It's more of an observation than a question but it still has that lilt at the end, as if he expects an answer.

"More than I'd care to admit," he answers, wholly honest.

For the first time he sees him smile, with teeth, and he's intimidating aura fades away instantly. He's actually sort of cute?

"Well then, that's all I need to know. I do still want to apologise, despite what you said, because you didn't know and you must've been hurt too. And then guilty. I'm sure I only added on to that, and for that I apologise."

"No worries, Yoongi-ssi."

Their orders are finished so they collect them, Jeongguk takes the bags and Yoongi carries the trays with their filled cups. A few steps away from the rest of their group, Yoongi calls after him. He cocks his head in question as he turns on his heel.

"You can just call me hyung."

"Okay, hyung."

The smile plastered on his face is replaced with mild disgust as his eyes fall on Jimin doing Namjoon's face paint, which would be all fine and dandy if he wasn't straddling him. It's like seeing his older brother get intimate and it makes him squirm. But good for them, I guess.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Taehyung appears in line of vision. "What's with that face?"

He jerks his head in Jimin and Namjoon's direction.

Giggling Taehyung takes the bags from his hand to put it on one of the open chairs and pushes him by the shoulders to take his seat. Thereafter, he swings his own leg over Jeongguk's lap and situates himself in a very similar position to Jimin in the row below them. He places his hands on Taehyung's hips - to steady him and just because he wants to.

"I don't hear any complaints now," he muses.

He holds up two shades of blue and asks Jeongguk to choose, as predictable as ever he chooses the one named 'aquatic'.

"It's different."

Taehyung quirks a brow, "How is it different?"

"Well it's you."

"Hypocrite," Taehyung teases, but his cheeks take on a pink hue.

"Again, I blame you. All of my logic goes out the window when you're involved."

"Yeah?"

He nods. "I don't even like PDA, but right now I wouldn't want you anywhere else," he blurts. He'd only half meant to say it, but now that it's out there, he doesn't regret it.

"Stop that," he whines, shifting his focus to grabbing a thin paintbrush.

Smirking, Jeongguk asks. "Stop what?"

"Flirting."

Oh.

He'd been reading everything wrong then, pursuing someone that didn't even say they wanted to be pursued still. Apologies fall from his lips like a waterfall, a current so strong it only stops when Taehyung puts a finger to his lips.

"That's not what I meant. I like when you flirt with me, it's just distracting me from doing the face paint."

Oh?

Oh.

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'. So stop pouting and let me continue with my masterpiece."

He juts his lip out further just to annoy him, but lets him finish face painting. The end product is two, thick blue stripes on one cheek and an animated lion on the other. He wanted to paint the entirety of Jeongguk's forehead blue too but he protested against it.

There's a moment where Taehyung is holding his face, brows furrowed in concentration and tongue peeking between his lips as he is inspecting his work, and it would be so easy for them to kiss but then Hoseok asks Taehyung if he could do his and Yoongi's face since Jimin is currently busy with Seokjin.

When they're all done, he sees Yoongi's eyes travel along each of their faces, decorated with blue paint and he looks so happy. Even though Seokjin, Namjoon and Jeongguk had spent less than an hour with them - it's like they've been accepted and embraced into the group, the friendship. He thinks if this is their restart, it's a pretty good one.

The atmosphere around them picks up when the team enters the field, the cheers and stomping makes everything feel like it's vibrating. As per tradition, according to Taehyung, they all take a swig of soju just as the last member of the teams enter. The mascots and cheerleaders are bright and energetic, raising everyone's spirits even more. The stadium lights are on, the sun having set a while ago, and they illuminate the faces of all the thousands of people in the stadium. Then each team member has a song, and dance, which the cheer-conductor leads alongside the mascot and he feels absolutely ridiculous and it's amazing. All seven of them get really into the choreography and singing along and it's a sight to behold truly.

Eventually though the game starts and everyone gets seated, still buzzing on adrenalin, as they bite into their fried chicken and take gulps from their beer. He understands now, why Taehyung had advised against wearing white and had gotten a cab rather than drive here.

All of them get invested in the game, as invested as you can be with as little understanding of what is happening in front of you; but they cheer when Yoongi cheers and yell expletives when Yoongi does.

He also can't help but think Taehyung would look delectable in those pants. Tipsy on soju, beer and the man itself - he voices his thoughts.

"You can't already be drunk."

"Not drunk, just honest," he insists.

"Well then, thank you for the compliment. I personally think you would look great in a rugby player's uniform," to prove his point, he runs his hand over Jeongguk's thighs - a slight pressure to the motion.

He places his hand on top of Taehyung's, halting his ministrations. He doesn't need to pop a semi in public; in front of his and Taehyung's friends and a stadium full of people.

Somewhere far away, he hears an obnoxious song begin to play. It's vaguely familiar but he can't really place it, especially right now when his head is fuzzy - everything besides this beautiful man next to him is completely out of focus. The way he likes it.

But then Taehyung is leaning in, darkened eyes as his gaze flits between his eyes and his lips, and then with a hand behind his neck he pulls him in close, close, closer until their lips are touching. When he says his name, each syllable a brush of their lips, he is a goner. He melts into him, their kiss and them. It's a strong cocktail of soju and Taehyung and he thinks he’s never tasted anything sweeter. He takes the opportunity to hold him by the waist, thumbing at the exposed skin. It draws the prettiest sound from Taehyung's throat, which he takes into his mouth as he deepens the kiss. The impossible softness of it all, contradicting with how much he wants him, it makes him feel like he's been plunged into the deep end and like he just came up for air.

It's only when they pull apart, the urge to pull his glistening bottom lip back in between his teeth is so strong, but he notices the commotion around them. Confused, he looks up, hands still on Taehyung's hips - and he sees them, right there on the Kiss Cam. Pixelated and all, they're there - he seems himself staring back at him - the camera positioned just above the massive monitor.

Taehyung had just kissed him, in front of 11000 people, and the millions watching at home. He'd kissed Taehyung in front of millions of people.

When he sees the replay of the kiss, he can't even find it in him to be embarrassed, he's over the fucking moon. Right there, in that very second, something clicks into place. Someone likes him this much, someone pulled him in for the best kiss of his life right here in front of millions all because they have feelings for him. And it's the person he's absolutely taken with.

"I hope you didn't mind, I just really wanted to and the moment just-"

He shuts Taehyung up with another kiss, the latter's smile interfering a little with the actual kissing but it's so perfect still. Because it's with him.

●～●

Later that night, they're in Taehyung's bed. He'd just got finished explaining all his different tattoos to Taehyung (he lost it when he saw his 'I'd rather be dead than cool' ink, going on and on about how they were clearly destined) and now he's tracing them with his finger - head comfortable on Jeongguk's bare chest.

"Your hair is really pretty, I didn't get to say it earlier but it is," he says, moving down to the next tattoo.

Jeongguk smiles, peering down at him. "You're pretty."

His breath hitches, Jeongguk can feel it against his abdomen, but he doesn't say anything. Finally getting to thread his fingers through his silver locks, he gets lost in the softness there.

"1 down, 99 more to go," Taehyung sighs, all content and blissed out.

Jeongguk wants to kiss him some more. "99 more of what?"

"Dates, don't you remember? We said 100 dates together."

It's not the clearest memory but he can remember them standing in Taehyung's hall, and mentioning something like that.

"I'm looking forward to the next 99 dates then."

They haven’t really discussed what they are, don’t feel the need to. Right now they know that they’ve got each other and that means more than any sort of label. They’re just Taehyung and Jeongguk, Jeongguk and Taehyung. 

Taehyung lifts his head, so that they're locking eyes. "I'm looking forward to falling in love with you."

"Me too, I think I'm already halfway there," he admits.

"You just had to one up me huh?" Taehyung playfully nips at his skin in retaliation.

Jeongguk's laughter is fond. "I'm just-"

"- Honest. Yeah yeah, whatever, kiss me."

He doesn't need to be told twice. The kiss is soft and sleepy, Taehyung nibbling at his bottom lip while his hands roam the rest of him.

"Stay the night?"

"Of course." Anything for you.

"Stay every night?"

He doesn’t even have to think about it. "Of course."

●～●

Months later when his streaks have been re-done after fading into a mint green, Taehyung curls up into him on his couch. 

“Do you remember when I pulled over to the side of the road, and we both yelled into the void?”

Jeongguk hums, rubbing circles into his back. “If my memory serves me right, I yelled and then you whispered something, followed by a banshee-esque scream.”

“I don’t scream like a banshee,” he argues, pressing his pointer finger into his boyfriend’s side. “Do you want to know what I wished for?”

After apprehending the offending  finger, he runs his fingers down his palm and his wrist, only to clasp their hands together. “I didn’t even know you made a wish, but please, be my guest.”

“I wished I would remember your face, I wanted to dream about you that night and remember every last detail.”

“Taehyung-”

He shakes his head, smiling up at him in that way that overwhelms all of him. “Obviously, that didn’t happen. But it’s okay, because now I have you next to me.”

Jeongguk brings their hands up so he can plant a kiss on the back of his hand. “And I have you.”

“Do you mind if I…” he trails off as he points with his free hand to Jeongguk’s face. 

“Go ahead.” 

Taehyung reaches a hand, mimicking the way Jeonguk had climbed his fingers from his fingers to his wrist, and walks his fingers up Jeongguk’s chest, his neck and when he reaches the line of his jaw, he stops. 

“When I close my eyes and think of you, I can see Jeongguk, I feel like I’m looking at you but I can’t see your face the way I see it right now.” 

His eyes flutter shut, the expanse of his eyelashes sitting prettily atop his cheekbones as his fingers begging moving again. He trails his hand up his jawline, till he reaches his earlobes. Deftly, his fingers line the shell of his ear before descending down to his chin. His fingers journey upwards, just before his bottom lip.

“Choco-chip mole?” he asks. 

Jeongguk, who’d been quietly watching his motions, moves his finger a little to the left. “There you go.”

A grateful smile pulls at the corners of his lips. 

His fingers reach his cupid's bow, and Jeongguk can’t help but stick his tongue out, just to lighten how heavy the air feels at the moment. 

“Did you just lick me?”

“I licked my lips, your fingers just happened to be there.”

Taehyung doesn’t open his eyes, but he does tsk at him. He continues upwards to Jeongguk’s nose. “My favourite nose in the world.”

“Ditto.”

Unperturbed by the one word response, he moves his hands around Jeongguk’s cheek until the pads of his fingers brush across his scar. It stays there for a while, applying a different amount of pressure each time he swipes his fingers across it. 

When he reaches his eyes, he slows down and carefully tracks his finger over the shape of it. “Doe eyes.”

“Colour?” he asks, just for the sake of asking. 

“Brown. The prettiest shade of brown.”

Before Jeongguk can reply he’s already continuing, now running his fingers over his eyebrows. “Strong brows.”

He softly threads his fingers through the strands on Jeongguk’s forehead, knuckles brushing against the skin there. It’s cool against the warmth emanating from his own face. 

When he blinks his eyes open, it’s like dawn breaks on his face. He looks at him with such adoration, it easily fills the space around them. 

“Hi,” the utterance as soft as the eyes staring back at him. 

Taehyung doesn’t return the greeting, but he doesn’t need to. The way he is looking at him is not as if he’s seen him for the first time, there’s no moment where he finds himself incredulous by the looks of him - instead, he looks at him with familiarity, like he knows and loves every nook and cranny, he looks like him like he’s home. 

“I love you.”

-

FIN