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“Have dinner with me.” Jonny asks, leaning against the doorframe as he watches Patrick finish typing out an e-mail. They’ve been working together for a few months, and Jonny knew he had a crush on the newest member of the Blackhawks Inc. team from the moment he’d smiled up at Jonny through a curtain of blonde curls.
“I-“ Patrick starts, looks away from the computer screen to stare at Jonny. “Like a date? Or just buddies?”
“Like a date,” Jonny confirms. “If you’re interested, that is.”
Jonny had been sure that he’d been reading the signs right, that Patrick was definitely interested, but he feels doubt swirl in his stomach as Patrick looks away, bites his lip as if he’s trying to find a way to let him down gently.
“I am, interested that is.” Patrick confirms. “But I’m not…I don’t date.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. You’re great, Jonny, but it’s just…”
“No, I get it.” Jonny shrugs, and tries to tamp down the disappointment he feels. “No hard feelings, eh?”
“Sure.” Patrick tells him softly, and Jonny gives a little awkward wave before walking away.
A few days later, Jonny looks up from his own desk to find Patrick standing in his doorway wringing his hands.
“What’s up, Pat?”
“I, uh, I need a favor.” Patrick looks so unsure, lacking the bravado and swagger he’d had since transferring from their Buffalo office. It makes Jonny want to stand up and wrap his arm around Patrick’s shoulders, but after getting shot down it’s probably the last thing that Patrick wants from him.
“I have this meeting with the Brisson account, and I’ve been working on it for weeks, and now my son’s school just called and apparently he has some kind of stomach bug, but I can’t just leave and-“
“I’ll cover you.” Jonny offers, and Patrick’s shoulders sag. “Go get him and bring him back here, and I’ll watch him during your meeting with Brisson.”
“Jonny, I can’t ask-“
“You’re not asking, I’m offering. You deserve to make this presentation; you’ve worked harder on it than anyone. I can handle a sick kid for a few hours.” At least, Jonny thinks, he’s pretty sure he can.
“Are you sure?”
“Go get him, Kaner.” Jonny insists, and Patrick smiles.
“Yeah. Yeah, thanks Jonny.” Patrick taps his knuckles against Jonny’s doorframe and steps away.
Patrick shows back up an hour later, arm draped around a kid who looks a little pale but none the worse for wear. Jonny had expected him to look like Patrick, and he’s definitely got the curls, but his hair is dark brown compared to Patrick’s blonde, with freckles all across his nose and cheeks. He’s hugging himself, pressed up against Patrick’s side and looking at Jonny with distrustful green eyes.
“Ollie, this is my friend, Jonny.” Patrick greets him, waving in Jonny’s direction. “Jonny, this is my son, Oliver.”
“Nice to meet you, Ollie.”
“ Oliver .” The kid corrects, his gaze turning sharp. “Only my papa calls me Ollie.”
“Oliver.” Jonny responds, nodding.
“Okay, I need to get ready for this meeting, but I’ll be back to get you as soon as I can, okay? But you’re going to have a ton of fun with Jonny, he’s the best.”
“I guess.” Oliver shrugs, but detaches himself from Patrick when the man pulls away.
“Thanks, Jonny. I’ll be back as soon as the Brisson meeting is over.”
“No worries.” Jonny shrugs, and look down at Oliver after Patrick walks away.
“So, kid, looks like it’s just me and you.”
Patrick finds them in the warehouse a few hours later, and only balks slightly where Jonny is sitting with Oliver in the driver’s seat of the forklift, letting Oliver move the teeth up and down and spin them slowly in a circle.
“Papa!” Oliver exclaims when he notices Patrick, wiggling out of Jonny’s hold to go running toward him. “Papa, Jonny’s awesome !”
“I can see that.” Patrick’s smile is amused when he looks over at Jonny, and that same flip-flopping in his stomach Jonny had been feeling before Patrick turned him down comes back full force. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah!” Oliver nods his head. Jonny hops down off the forklift and tosses the keys at Duncs, their warehouse manager.
“He didn’t seem like he was running a fever, and he got bored of my office pretty quickly.”
“No, it’s fine. Sorry about all of this.”
“Are you kidding? This is the most fun I’ve had at work in a long time.” Jonny looks down at Oliver, who’s beaming back at him.
“Papa, can Jonny come to dinner with us?”
“Uh…” Patrick drifts off, looking to Jonny. “I’m sure Jonny has plans…”
“I don’t.” Jonny supplies quickly. “I’d love to, if you don’t mind.”
“Your kid’s pretty awesome.” Jonny tells him later that night as they’re walking through the restaurant parking lot. Oliver’s hopping along in front of them, high on the ice cream he’d insisted he needed. “If you don’t mind me asking, where’s…”
“His mom?” Patrick supplies, and Jonny nods. “We were college sweethearts; she was a year younger than me and got pregnant her senior year. I was already working for Blackhawk, but she wanted to go to grad school, maybe even get her doctorate. Kids weren’t really in the plan for her, so I asked her if I could keep him, and she agreed. I send her, like, pictures and stuff on his birthday, but she’s never really been a factor. She lives out in California now.”
“So, it’s just the two of you since you moved to Chicago?” Jonny feels like that must be pretty lonely, and Patrick just shrugs.
“It was easier when we were in Buffalo, with my family there to help and stuff.” Patrick admits. “But we do okay.”
“Is he why you don’t date?” The words leave Jonny’s mouth before he can stop them, and he wishes he could take them back when Patrick’s cheeks burn red.
“I mean…yeah. It’s a lot, y’know? It’s not just me, I come with…well, we’re just a package deal.”
“And you think someone wouldn’t want that?” You think I wouldn’t want that? Jonny thinks.
“It’s just a lot to ask of someone, no matter how much I like them.”
“Have dinner with me.” Jonny asks again, wrapping his fingers around Patrick’s wrist. “Please, Patrick.”
He waits while Patrick studies him, eyes darting forward to where Oliver is running in circles around Patrick’s SUV and then back to Jonny.
“You still want to?”
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.”
“Okay.” Patrick smiles, and Jonny feels his own answering grin on his face.
“I can’t find a babysitter.” Patrick tells him a few days later, collapsing into the chair in front of Jonny’s desk. He looks disappointed, and so delightfully grumpy that Jonny has to quash the urge to walk around his desk and kiss the frown off of his face.
“So, bring him with you.” Jonny shrugs, and struggles not to laugh when Patrick raises an eyebrow.
“You want me to bring my son on our first date?”
“I mean, you said it yourself, right? That you’re a package deal?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t mean on the first date .”
“Patrick, I really like you.” Jonny leans on his desk, his arms pressed against the polished wood. “I want to get to know you, I asked you out because I want to date you. If things go the way that I want, then Oliver’s eventually going to be part of whatever we become. If I wasn’t okay with that, if I didn’t want him around, I wouldn’t have asked you out. As long as you’re okay with it, we can definitely do something kid-friendly – the three of us.”
“How are you real?” Patrick mutters, but he’s smiling, so Jonny will take it.
Oliver’s passed out in the backseat as they leave the restaurant, clutching the stuffed animal that Jonny had won him after dropping fifty dollars on the crane machine.
“Wore him out.” Patrick muses as Jonny pulls out onto the street, and Jonny smirks and glances at the kid in the rearview mirror.
“Think he had fun?”
“I think you’re now his favorite person.” Patrick responds, and Jonny tries not to preen. By the way Patrick fondly rolls his eyes, he probably fails.
“He’s a good kid.”
“He’s the best.” Patrick agrees. “Sorry this date wasn’t what you planned.”
“No, but it was better.” Jonny tells him, and Patrick doesn’t resist when Jonny reaches across the center console and grabs Patrick’s hand.
Patrick does find a sitter for the second date, and the third, and then Sharpy and Abby agree to let Oliver stay overnight when Jonny offers to cook dinner at his apartment. Jonny doesn’t want to expect anything, but they’re only fifteen minutes into the movie they pick after eating when Patrick climbs into his lap and kisses him. Jonny lets him control the kiss, keeps his hands tight on his hips and groans when Patrick slips his tongue into Jonny’s mouth.
“Bedroom?” Patrick asks when he comes up for breath, dropping biting kisses along Jonny’s jaw that have him gasping and squirming against Patrick’s bulk.
“We don’t-“ Jonny’s cut off when Patrick latches onto his neck. “We don’t have to rush things.”
“Jonny,” Patrick detaches himself and sits back on Jonny’s thighs. “How often do you think that I’ll be able to find a babysitter overnight? Do you want to fuck me or not?”
“Good point.” Jonny concedes, shoves Patrick off of his lap, and drags him toward the bedroom.
The next morning, Jonny’s cooking breakfast as Patrick watches him closely, a soft, sated smile on his face as he sips the coffee that Jonny had set in front of him.
“Ollie asked me last night if you’re my boyfriend.”
“What did you tell him?” Jonny asks as he flips the omelet in the pan.
“That I liked you.”
“Well,” Jonny looks away from the stove to see Patrick watching him. “I like you too, so…”
“Just because we slept together once doesn’t mean you’re, like, obligated or something.” Patrick’s tone is grumpy, and Jonny plates the omelet and walks around the island until he can step into Patrick’s space. He tilts Patrick’s face up with a finger under his chin and kisses the frown off of his face. He can feel Patrick relax under him, returning his kiss with equal softness.
“Patrick,” he says as he pulls away. “Will you be my boyfriend?”
“No, you’ve gotta lace them up like this.” Jonny crouches down and undoes the laces that Patrick just finished, looping them with ease. Patrick’s staring at him when he rises, and Jonny shrugs. “I played when I was a kid.”
“Uh-huh.” Patrick nods. “Alright, you ready kid?”
Jonny looks down and tries not to laugh when Oliver struggles to his feet. He sticks his arms out when the kid wavers, and Oliver latches onto Jonny’s hands and steadies himself.
“It’s okay, you’ve got this.” Jonny tells him, but holds onto one hand as Oliver gets his feet under him. By the time they make it to the ice, he’s steadier, but Jonny feels his grip tighten as they step up to the entrance. “It’s alright, Oliver.”
“Okay.” Oliver tells him uncertainly, but he lets go a moment later as he steps onto the ice. Jonny steps back and presses his shoulder against Patrick’s as they watch Oliver make his way unsteadily toward his teammates and coaches, hockey stick in hand.
“You didn’t tell me you played hockey.”
“I’m from Canada, Patrick.”
“I always wanted to play.”
“Why didn’t you?” Jonny asks, and Patrick shrugs.
“Four kids, limited budget. Just wasn’t possible. But when Oliver said he wanted to try it…”
“You’re a good dad.” Jonny can’t help but press a chaste kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek.
“I just…I want him to have everything he wants, y’know?”
“Yeah.” Jonny agrees, because he hasn’t known Oliver for long, but he already knows he wants the same thing too.
“Jonny, I drew you something!”
Jonny looks down from where he’s cooking them all dinner and takes the picture from Oliver’s hands. There are three stick figures, two larger ones with a smaller figure in the middle, all holding hands. Jonny thinks there’s also a hockey rink on one side, and maybe Jonny’s apartment building on the other.
“Oh, buddy, this is great.” Oliver beams up at him and reaches up to point at the drawing.
“That’s me, and Papa, and you.”
“I love it.” Jonny tells him, and Oliver promises to draw him something else and takes off back toward the living room. When Jonny looks up, Patrick’s watching him with something like wariness in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“You don’t…I know it’s really soon…”
“For what?”
“I just…don’t want him to make you uncomfortable.”
“Why would he? Ollie is awesome.” Jonny turns toward the fridge and grabs a magnet, pinning the drawing where he can see it every time, he opens the door. When looks back at Patrick, his gaze is softer, all fondness and warmth. “I mean, you do know I’m only dating you so I can hang out with him, right? You kinda suck.”
Patrick laughs and flings water at him from where he’s washing the dishes that Jonny’s dirtying.
“Jonny, what did you do?” Patrick asks as he lets Jonny into his apartment. He’s laden down with bags, and once he takes it all in after he dumps them in front of the Christmas tree, he realizes he may have gone overboard.
“I just…It’s not that much.”
“Jonny, did you buy out the entire store?”
“No.” Jonny grumbles, but he opens his arms when Patrick steps into his space. Patrick kisses him sweetly, looks down at the presents Jonny definitely, maybe spent too much money on, and sighs.
“You’re going to spoil him.”
“He deserves it.”
“Jonny…” Patrick presses his forehead into Jonny’s chest. “I just worry, because he cares a lot about you, and if you disappear from his life…”
“Why would I disappear?”
“Because…” Patrick starts, then pulls away from Jonny’s arms and stares over his shoulder. “What if you decide this isn’t what you want?”
“Patrick, why do you always assume that I’m going to leave?”
“Because everyone does!” Patrick snaps, pulling himself away from Jonny. Jonny can tell that he wants to yell, but Oliver is sound asleep upstairs, so instead his voice is rough and harsh and dangerously quiet. “It’s always been us, just me and him, because everyone else leaves.”
“Well, I’m not leaving!” Jonny shoots back. “When have I ever been anything other than all in?”
“That’s not…I’m not…”
“You’re so convinced that I’m going to leave, that I’m going to abandon both of you, and what you don’t get is that that’s never going to happen – not if I have anything to say about it – because I’m completely fucking in love with you.”
That seems to stop Patrick in his tracks, and it’s only then that Jonny realizes that it’s been months and he hasn’t actually said that to Patrick out loud.
“I love you, Patrick.” He tells him, softer, and Patrick doesn’t fight him when he tugs him back into his space. “And I love Ollie, and I’m all in.”
“I love you, too.” Patrick replies, and all but collapses into Jonny’s arms.
Three years later
“That’s it, Ollie!” Jonny yells as Oliver swipes the puck from the opposing team’s forward and sends it back down to the other side of the rink. He’s ten years old now, growing steadily into his hockey. They’ve been trying him out on defense lately, and Jonny thinks he’s a little on the small side for it, but he can’t deny that Oliver is clearly loving it.
“Your son’s pretty good.” One of the moms – Alicia, he thinks – tells him over his shoulder. Jonny turns back to correct her, but then Oliver takes the pass from one of his teammates and gets it past the goalie and Jonny goes wild. He’s still cheering when Oliver skates by, smiling and waving on his way back to the bench.
“Actually, really good.” Alicia amends, and Jonny beams.
“Yeah. Yeah, he is.”
Patrick’s working late, so Jonny waits for Oliver to finish changing out of his gear after the game and then drives him back toward their apartment. Patrick’s still at the office, so Jonny puts together dinner and sits down at the table with Oliver still chatting away about the game. Once he seems to have had his fill of going over every detail of the game – and god, wouldn’t his parents laugh at him now to know that he was now on the other end of this – Jonny sets his plate aside and smiles at Oliver.
“Ollie, I want to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.” Oliver looks wary at that, and he looks so much like Patrick that it makes Jonny want to laugh.
“You know, your papa and I have been together for a while now. I love him a lot, and when you love someone the way I love your papa, well…I want to ask him something, but before I do, I want to make sure that it’s okay with you.”
“You wanna marry Papa?” Oliver asks, and Jonny nods.
“I want us to be a family, so you should be part of that decision too.”
“I mean…” Oliver stares down at the table, then shrugs. “I thought we were already a family.”
“We are,” Jonny amends, and reaches across the table to grip Oliver’s shoulder. “This would just make it official. If your papa says yes, of course.”
“Why wouldn’t he say yes?” Oliver’s nose wrinkles up. “That’s silly.”
“So, you’re okay with it?” Jonny asks, and Oliver seems to seriously think on it for a long moment.
“If you and Papa get married, could I call you Dad?” He asks, and Jonny’s taken aback. He and Patrick have been together for almost three years, all of them living together for eighteen months, and Oliver’s never shown any interest in calling him anything other than Jonny.
“Is that something that you want?” He asks, and Oliver shrugs but then nods. “Then that’s something we could talk to your papa about, yeah.”
“Okay.” Oliver grins, then slides off of the dining chair. “Can I go play Fortnite now?”
“Sure.” Jonny agrees, and watches as Oliver runs toward the living room.
They get married on a Saturday afternoon.
Jonny didn’t expect to feel different. After all, they’d been sharing a life together for years. Jonny had just assumed that this made it official, signatures on a piece of paper and rings on their fingers. He doesn’t expect to look at Patrick, think the word husband , and feel like his heart might beat out of his chest. He doesn’t expect to toy with his ring when he’s sitting at his desk, twist it as he thinks about what he needs to get from the grocery store or works his meetings around Oliver’s hockey games. It settles something in him, to know that it’s forever, that he and Patrick belong to each other, that they’re a family with Oliver.
They buy a townhome, room to grow , Patrick tells him. Oliver progresses with his hockey, and they start hearing things like potential and promising and Jonny’s there for every game, cheering and screaming alongside Patrick as Oliver overcomes his size to become the best defenseman in his league.
The day their application to the adoption agency is approved, two years after their wedding, Patrick insists that they order takeout to celebrate, plates of sushi spread out on the living room coffee table. The three of them pass the different rolls around, Oliver making fun of Jonny when he finally gives up on the chopsticks and eats with his hands. Jonny knows that the adoption process will take months, maybe years, but he can’t help but think that, eventually, it won’t be just the three of them anymore, and feels a pang of sadness at the thought.
They’re all stretched out on the floor when Oliver pops up.
“I’ll be right back.” He tells them both, and Jonny doesn’t really think anything of it until Patrick grows tense across from him.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Patrick replies, too fast, but Oliver comes back into the room before Jonny can push it. He stands in front of Jonny, a large manila envelope in hand, and Jonny only notices that his hands are shaking when he presses the envelope into his hands.
“Everything okay, Ollie?”
“Y-yeah, just…this is for you, Dad.”
Jonny takes the envelope, feels Patrick’s eyes on him, and opens the tab holding it closed. He pulls out the stack of papers, reads the top line five times, then looks up to find Oliver watching him with wet eyes. His gaze travels to Patrick, then back to the papers.
Petition for Adoption , it reads, and Jonny’s heart clenches in his chest.
“What is this?”
“I just…” Oliver starts, takes a deep breath, and starts again. “I know that you and Papa are going to adopt a new baby, and I asked Papa, and he said…well, like, I was hoping maybe you’d want to make it official. Before I get a brother or sister.”
“You want me to be your dad?” Jonny’s voice is soft, and he watches as Oliver shrugs.
“You’re already my dad. I just…if you want, you don’t have to.”
“Ollie.” Jonny gasps, and tosses the papers on the floor to pull the boy into his arms.
“You’ve always been mine.”