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It’s not love, I swear (it might be closer to despair)

Summary:

It was supposed to be just another meeting for Carmen and Julia to discuss the artifacts. It was supposed to be short and sweet, at Julia’s favorite cafe, and it was supposed to have ended with a handshake, maybe a hug if Julia got lucky.

It wasn’t supposed to have ended with Julia sprinting away at full speed.

(Carulia Week Day One: Confession)

Notes:

The title is from the song “Despair” by leo.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Carmen was always exactly on time, which was a quality that Julia found both charming and incredibly nerve-wracking.

She was always early to everything. More often than not, she was early to being early . She never overslept, she never got lost on her way there, she never got caught up in some other plans. 

Carmen arriving right on time was reliable, and it was perfect, and it was wonderful, but it gave Julia ten minutes of sitting there while the cashier - a student from one of her classes - gave her increasingly pitying looks. It gave Julia ten minutes of worrying as to whether she’d gotten the place wrong, or the time wrong, or if Carmen had just stood her up.

Which was ridiculous. She’d checked ten times at least this morning confirming the location and time. And besides, Carmen couldn’t stand her up if it wasn’t a date. Because they weren’t dating and Julia didn’t even like Carmen like that, it was ridiculous, it was foolish it was -

It was absolutely true: Julia was head over heels for the super thief. Anyone within a mile radius of Julia knew her feelings for Carmen.

Chief had kindly ignored them, which was a relief. Julia hadn’t been sure she could handle her boss sitting her down and talking to her about… well, romance. And the lack of it that was needed towards thieves that they were trying to catch. Luckily, she didn’t work at ACME anymore.

Zari had mentioned it on occasion, but in an infuriating way that had perfectly plausible deniability. And though Julia could tell Zari thought she was foolish, and reckless, and too trusting, and -

Well, you get the point.

She also knew that Zari would’ve support her - still did. They kept in touch. Zari was quietly kind like that. Besides, Zari had a crush on Devineaux, so she really couldn’t say anything.

“Hey, Jules.”

Julia almost jumped. No matter how many times Carmen said her name - or her nickname, rather - she got caught off guard. It just felt different from when anyone else said her name. More personal.

Oh.

She had really fallen, hadn’t she?

“Carmen,” Julia chuckled, hands tapping the tea that she’d ordered. Carmen sat across from her, smiling. “I ordered you a coffee - hope it’s not cold, I got here a bit early.”

“Thanks, Jules. That’s really thoughtful of you.” Carmen picked the cup up and took a sip. “It’s perfect.” She glanced at the cashier - who was giving Julia a rather surprised look now - and gave them a thumbs up. 

“I’m glad,” Julia said, beaming. Quit smiling so much, that’ll make your crush obvious. It’s not like it’s not obvious - Carmen probably knows and is just trying to let me down gently. “I know it’s not exactly hidden, but this is a pretty small cafe, and their coffee is the best.” The Orion Cafe was her personal favorite from around here: the interior was beautifully designed, and all their drinks had fun star names.

“It’s fine,” Carmen shrugged. “I suppose there’s not a lot of places we can really hide when meeting up. I just don’t want you to be a target for anyone.” One of her hands settled on the table, and Julia stared at it. If only she were brave enough to reach out and take it.

“The only two places I can really think of are my office and my new apartment,” Julia chuckled, and Carmen sat up a little bit straighter, the corner of her lips quirking up. 

“I’d love to see your apartment, Jules,” Carmen said softly, in a tone that was so warm, Julia was wondering if she’d spontaneously combust.

“Oh! I’d be happy to show you - probably after I cleaned it up a bit.” Who was she kidding? Her apartment was almost always spotless. She wasn’t there a lot - it felt empty. Lonely. Didn’t quite feel like a home. Most of the time, she stayed at her office, or went here.

“I look forward to that,” Carmen agreed, and it occurred to Julia that not once had she brought up the artifact. Both of them were just sitting here. Waiting. Maybe Julia should be the one to bring it up? Then again, she wanted this to last as long as possible.“Jules?”

Julia snapped to attention, and Carmen looked almost the slightest bit amused. “Yes?”

“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind,” Carmen noted, her hand sliding a bit further across the table and gently intertwining with Julia’s. That action alone was enough to make a flush rise to her cheeks. “Care to talk about it?”

Julia’s mouth was dry. She took another sip of tea to avoid speaking - it was the alnilam special, milk tea that Julia would probably die for. “It’s alright - we came here to talk about the artifact, right?”

“We have all day to talk about the artifacts,” Carmen pointed out. “Besides, you’re my friend, and I like talking with you.” Her thumb stroked the top of Julia’s hand.

And boy oh boy, was Julia thoroughly and utterly fucked.

“You’re staying here all day?” Julia asked, surprised. 

Carmen nodded. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“You just seem to always be traveling,” Julia explained. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you anywhere for more than a day.” Carmen laughed at that, and Julia felt slightly flustered.

“I should really just steal you away and take you to Team Red’s base. It’s where we - I - spent most of my time.” She took another sip of coffee. “Wow this is really good, what did you order?”

“The supernova,” Julia replied absentmindedly, too focused on the fact that Carmen just invited her to Team Red’s base. “Everything here is space themed.” As she kept dwelling over Carmen’s words, she chuckled. “Steal me away?”

“It’s a cute term,” Carmen defended, tossing one hand in the air. “I am a thief, I think I get some points for stuff like that.” A smile settled on her face, one that took Julia’s breath away.

“Points?” Julia repeated, a little amused. Carmen flushed, squeezing Julia’s hand softly. A normal, platonic gesture. A sweet one. Julia needed to stop overthinking things - how could someone as amazing as Carmen ever notice her?

“Points,” Carmen confirmed, tilting her head. “You get some points, too, for ordering me this amazing coffee.” She took another sip, and - was Julia imagining it? Was Carmen flirting with her?

She was imagining it.

“And what can I spend these points on?” Julia asked teasingly, and good heavens Carmen’s smirk was going to be the death of her.

“What do you want to spend them on?” Carmen’s tone was equally teasing, and she had leaned forward. Maybe it was the fact that they were almost flirting. Maybe it was the really good tea, maybe it was the false sense of confidence Julia was pretending (or trying to pretend) she had.

“A kiss.” The words escaped her mouth before Julia could stop herself. Carmen’s eyes widened and she blushed a deep crimson. Julia was fairly certain her expression was the same. “Oh - I’m so sorry - I didn’t-” she stammered, retracting her hand from Carmen’s grip. The cashier - Rigel, that was their name- had gone back to their pitying expression.

“It’s okay, I-” Carmen started, but Julia had already started sprinting away. She didn’t exactly know where she was going, or why she was running, but she was fairly certain she had just ruined any kind of relationship she could ever have with Carmen. “Jules-!”

Julia ran out the door and down the street, wiping a tear from her face. I can’t believe I did that, she scolded herself. Before she could get far, though, she heard Carmen behind her. “Jules, wait!”

Julia twisted around a corner, but Carmen kept running after her, and was she…? Laughing…? “Jules, get back here!” Carmen called, slightly exasperated. She jumped in front of Julia, and Julia ran right into her, falling into her arms. “I thought you wanted that kiss?”

Julia just stared, opening her mouth to say something but unable to. Carmen leaned down and kissed her briefly. Julia’s eyes fluttered shut, and she heard Carmen chuckle.

“Do you -” she started, opening her eyes again. The redness hadn’t left either of their faces. “-like me…?”

“Obviously, my jewel,” Carmen laughed. Julia wrapped her arms around Carmen, burying her face in her shoulder. “I take my feelings are reciprocated?”

“You idiot,” Julia muttered, pulling Carmen down into another kiss. “Of course they are.”

Notes:

Am I going to be posting something for every day of Carulia week?
You bet I am!!

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