Chapter Text
Many things can be true at once. The universe is constantly expanding. The sea was full of mystery. If there was life out in the stars, they probably hated us.
When you're a kid you don't care about that crap. You don't really care about anything except if you've gotten attention or not. Babble around a bit and say something incomprehensible, you've filled your quota for the day! Maybe you can play in a sandbox for three hours, then you don't need anything else. Toddlers don't sit up at night, thinking "oh god we're alone in the universe, everything is so vast and I'm barely two feet tall." Babies don't stress-chew on the collars of their shirts as they think about every problem in their life.
It should've stayed like that. Just babbling and learning to walk. Imagine how much stress that could relieve on the human race if we never grew up past the age of four. Five, at a stretch.
Then at maybe ten you figure out one day "Oh shit! I can think!" and it goes downhill from there. At that point you start to figure out you're a person, and nothing good comes from being a person. Except maybe skateboarding.
In all fairness skateboarding was pretty much the only thing on Reki's mind at that point. Skateboarding and his family and maybe Akira, but he fit in with skateboarding.
"Reki! Reki, are you watching? Hey- Hey hey!" He would call over, "I'm doing an ollie! I'm doing an o-" as he promptly fell. "I'm not doing an ollie. But I almost did! You got that on camera, right? Lemme see- Lemme see it."
And of course Reki did, because he'd never let Akira do a trick without recording it. Later he would hunch over the camera until midnight watching the videos on loop until every part of it was ingrained in his mind. It felt like he never left the sunny day, like no time passed between that afternoon and the next. So maybe it was okay that people didn't stay babbling babies for their entire lives. Maybe being ten, just before you find out you're a person is enough. With just the right person maybe it’s okay.
"C'mon lemme try again! I wanna do an ollie like you, Reki." Akira brushed his hair away from his eyes to smile at him. And Reki smiled back because why wouldn't he? And because he loved the way Akira smiled. He saw it often. Akira was always smiling at something. It was weird, their dynamic. All the time Akira said he wanted to be like Reki. “I wanna do an ollie like you” “I’ll learn to draw. Imagine being able to draw the way you can.” “What’s it like having a sister? I wish I had sisters. My brothers are just boring.”
Why would he want to be like Reki, when Akira was already so perfect?
A minute later Akira was on his board again, flying past.
When Akira skated it was impossible not to look. He'd only been doing it a few weeks, after convincing Reki to try, but it was like skating was meant for him. Like the only reason it had ever been made was so Akira could try it, and outshine everyone. He was born to skate, you could see it. Like he was glowing, like he was made of stardust. Like he could outshine the universe with just a grin.
"You should call yourself comet. That's what you look like." Reki had commented, once
"A comet?"
"Yeah, man! Like a shooting star."
Akira giggled at that, toppling onto Reki's sleeping bag "I'm just a guy! Reki. Rekiiiiii. My mom's not gonna let you stay over if I became a star. I’d just burn everything. I like how I am. I like me!"
"I like you too!"
He really did. At ten years old maybe Reki didn't know or care what love was, maybe he just didn't know you could love other boys. But he really liked Akira, in whatever way that meant.
"I love you, dude! Reki, Reki, Reki that's so cool! So you just- you just make it like that? you- Does the wood form like that?"
Reki had brought the first board he made to Akira. It was uneven and you couldn't stand on it well. No way you'd be able you win in a race with the thing. But for Akira, it was okay. It was perfect. He spent the whole morning fawning over the wheels and the shape, every inch of it seemed holy to him.
"Nah, I had to shave it down. My mom had some old woodworking tools in the shed that she let me use."
Akira stated back in awe, "No way she let you use those. Like a- like a circle saw thing?" He drew out a circle with his fingers, "You could've cut your hand off!"
"I'm not that clumsy!"
"mhm, sure. Totally."
"Okay, first of all, fuck you."
"Language!"
Reki punched his shoulder, "I'm sixteen now, I can curse if I want!"
"You're sixteen tomorrow."
"That basically means sixteen today." And it was Akira's turn to punch Reki.
He leaned forward, resting his head between his palms and narrowing his eyes. He blew a burst of air into Reki's face. "Why are you a dumbass?"
It was nice how he said that. A teasing tone, kind. Full of love. It paired nicely with that same starlight-filled grin. Reki blew the hair away from Akira's eyes.
"Don't call me a dumbass!"
"Maybe if you stop acting like one I'll think about it."
At that moment Reki because extremely aware of the feeling in his chest, the one that had been growing for years, since they were ten. That had kept him up at night.
"Akira"
"Reki?" He always rolled out the R
"You're my best friend"
"well duh. Your best-best-best friend, actually! That three of them. Too late to get rid of me."
Reki smiled. His forehead instinctively fell onto Akira's shoulder, like it was meant to be there.
"My best friend..."
The ride home was quiet. They'd stayed out past dark by accident, way late into the evening. It was nearly ten when they realized. With the road too dark to see, Akira insisted on holding Reki's hand so he wouldn't get lost. "Plus," he added, "I need to hold it before you cut it off with a saw." He earned a flick to the ear.
That night would replay in Reki's mind like the camera. The warmth of Akira's hand as they walked up hill. The warmth of their arms wrapped around eachother. Of their chests pressed together in a hug. Of his lips against Reki's cheek. Of Akira's lips against his own. "I'm sorry" one of them had whispered. And, "I love you" the other whispered back.
The walk back was quiet, save for the sweet words they whispered to each other in the dark. By the time Reki arrived home he was a mess of flustered red. His mother stood out by the window until he passed the house, mind adrift.
"Reki Kyan! Your curfew was over hours ago. I've been texting you!"
Reki checks his phone to see
20 new messages (mom)
huh. guess he hadn't noticed
"'m sorry, mom. Did you need help with Nanaka and Chihiro?"
She just shook her head and prodded Reki inside. "You'll catch a cold if you stay outside."
Many things can be true at once. Reki was in love with Akira. Akira loved him back. The universe is constantly expanding. People did not often stay in love.
"I can't skate anymore" was the first thing Akira had told Reki after the incident.
He had said it the second time Reki had gone to see him, and the first time he was awake to see. Reki brought fingerboard for him, placing it on the table beside Akira. Just before he said that.
"What? You- They said your legs would be fine! It's just your arms that-"
"I don't want to skate anymore, Reki." And it felt like a stab to the chest. Why did it feel like that? It wasn't Reki who had stopped. But why would he do this? Akira loved skating. Reki loved skating with him.
"I don't want you to skate, either. Okay? I don't- Reki. Reki, Reki I don't want you to get hurt, too"
No. He wanted to yell. No! He couldn't just- just tell Reki to stop skating like that. Reki loved skating. It was the only- it was one of the only things he loved. If he couldn't skate then...
"Reki- Reki wait!" But he was already leaving. He couldn't cry like this in front of Akira. He couldn't lose skating. He couldn't he couldn't he couldn't.
That night Reki made a list of as many truths as he could think of.
1. Birds are the luckiest animals alive
2. Skating is just like flying
3. the universe is constantly expanding
4. I love Akira
his pencil pauses. He does love Akira. He has loved Akira. He loves him so deeply.
4. I loved Akira