Archive of Our Own ^beta

My mother used to say, “First impressions are like the stones we skip on the beach; once we throw the stones, we can never really recover them.” 

I held those words close to my heart; that’s why I don’t have first impressions of people. But somehow, you were the first and only exemption.

--

Opening her eyes slowly, feeling the cold sheets beneath her as she gently stretches her arm in hopes to embrace a particular cub, it has been a while since they spent time together. But to her disappointment, she was welcomed by an empty space beside her with nothing but the cold duvet. She quickly scanned the dark room, hoping to catch even a glimpse of her presence. 

Why is the room so dark, anyway?

Mina realized that the curtains were still closed. 

She left it; well, that’s a first.

It took her a minute or two to realize that maybe Chaeyoung already left for work, so she got up cautiously as she stumbled her way to the bathroom, feeling as though someone was squeezing her skull tightly. She must’ve drunk a lot last night; the pungent taste of alcohol still lingers in her mouth. The cold water from the faucet causes her to shiver as she splashes it to her face, trying her best to wash away the remnants of the terrible feeling. Nothing was making her feel better, moving her body left and right. She felt like puking.

She stared at her reflection tentatively. Bloodshot eyes with dark circles underneath stared right back at her. Whatever she is feeling sure reflects her appearance right now. She grimaced at her reflection, causing her dry lips to crack, which made her scowl even more. 

What a morning.

Wait, what happened last night?

----

Myoui Mina was a new student at Seoul International School. Her parents convinced her to transfer as soon as her father got the job as the new head surgeon of Myongji Hospital. Mina was a shy girl, and new beginnings terrify her because it means starting over again. Making new friends, adjusting to new environments, learning new cultures, and so much more are no walk in the park. But she didn’t have a choice anyway, and she didn’t have the heart to say no to her parents even though it broke her heart to leave her only two best friends, Momo and Sana, in Japan.

All she did was come to school in time and go home as soon as they are dismissed. That’s why she never really cared much any more. Aside from her two silly best friends, there was only one thing she could ever think of that could comfort her at that time, and it was ballet...

...until she met the Director’s prodigy daughter.

The first time she met her was like out of a movie. 

A heroine saved a damsel-in-distress.

Typical.

Cliché.

In this scenario, Mina felt more like the sidekick of the heroine. 

It was a Friday night, and most of the students are already out partying or doing God-knows-what. She just finished her last class, and as usual, she was hurrying to come home and try her new Nintendo Switch game. 

She was walking down the hallway when she saw a girl coming out of a classroom holding a girl that looked like she was about to pass out. 

“Hey, can you help me get this girl to the infirmary?”

The girl asked as she kept looking worriedly at the girl she’s holding. Mina panicked as she looked at both of them but quickly complied as soon as she noticed that the girl was catching her breath and getting weaker on her knees. 

She quickly but carefully guided the girl to the infirmary. As soon as she knew that the girl was in good hands, she looked for the blonde girl, thinking of ways to confront her as Mina felt responsible for the girl’s state earlier.

How rude of her to ask me something when she didn’t even spare me a glance.

As soon as she got back to the room, there were only three people inside, two students and a teacher, but the blonde girl was nowhere in sight.

The next day, she saw her walking around the campus, with her fangirls and boys in tow, and again, no glance. No acknowledgment. 

After that incident, Mina started to notice her. Her name is Son Chaeyoung. Daughter of the director. Talented. Charming. Smart. Everything a person could ever ask for. She has always been the talk of the school; how skillful she is, how many girls and guys Chaeyoung’s been with, how fast those flings end, how the world revolves around her, and how she’s been ignoring everyone, including Mina.

Everything about Son Chaeyoung disturbed her, and she knows too damn well that it shouldn’t. Why would it, anyway? 

It was after a week that Mina found out the truth about their minor incident. The girl she helped approached her one time during her lunch break, gave her a small present to thank her for the good deed she did, and told her everything that happened that day. The girl told Mina her classmates decided to bully her, and Chaeyoung just happened to pass by the room. And now, Mina felt terrible for thinking that she was solely responsible for the helpless girl’s state, that she was the one who hurt her. 

Mina’s guilt made her feel the need to apologize for thinking such things. Fate wasn’t on her side, though, because they never got the chance to see each other again, so Mina decided to shrug the thought away.

After that incident, Mina’s days were full of Dahyun’s convincing and annoying her to come to her party. If she was honest, it freaks her out. Dahyun is a social butterfly; with her cheerful and charming personality, she gained many friends. Lots of friends mean lots of people. And for Mina, lots of people means an uncomfortable feeling of dismay. She agreed to come, anyway, and for whatever reason, Mina does not know.

After a month, that night, fate decided to let them meet again at Dahyun’s party. 

Mina panicked and quickly hid behind the wall separating the kitchen and dining area, peeking to spare her a slight glance.

“Unnie, are you okay?” Mina jumped in surprise and almost threw her drink at the girl in front of her. Dahyun giggled at her reaction.

“How come you never told me you know Son Chaeyoung?” Mina asked curiously.

“Everyone knows me and Chaeyoung are best friends,” Dahyun shrugged.

“How come I don’t see you hang out with her around the campus?” Mina asked, almost in an annoyed tone, but she was able to maintain her composure.

“We do hang out, just in our hide-out.” Mina nodded and hummed in response, 

Hide-out, huh.

“You know, Unnie, Chaeyoung is a very private person, and I respect her for that. Maybe that’s what happens when people are always up on your business.”

After that talk with Dahyun, Mina couldn’t stop thinking about her. She didn’t know what made her more intrigued about her. Maybe it’s because of all the rumors. The names they’ve given her;

      1. The director’s prodigy daughter.

      2. The snobbish spoiled, rich kid who always gets what she wants. 

      3. A player that has never fallen in love. 

Mina didn’t know anymore. Despite all the names and rumors, she didn’t know a single thing about the girl. And that one time she had the chance to know her, she quickly assumed things and judged her.

She realized she has been spacing out for a good minute; thousands of thoughts plagued her mind. 

Pathetic. Wait, what am I thinking? I’m here tonight to celebrate Dahyun’s birthday and also get the chance to meet new people. I should be enjoying this party!

Mina decided to lower her inhibition that night. She downed another glass of whatever stuff Dahyun’s friends were giving her. Just for tonight. Nothing could go wrong, right? 

I should be having fun. I won’t think of anything tonight. I won’t think of ballet, or school, or whatever.

I won’t think of her.

As soon as that thought escaped her mind as if lured by Mina’s thoughts, Chaeyoung suddenly appeared.

Am I a joke to you?

Mina giggled despite herself, causing Chaeyoung to smile at her silly drunk antics. The cub sat down beside her and turned her body towards Mina.

“So, you can smile.”

Mina stared back at her, looking intently at her eyes. 

Her pretty brown eyes.

A soft smile spreading across her annoyingly charming face, accompanied by two cute dimples on each side of her cheeks.

Perfect.

Mina’s face starts to warm up. Despite the loud music surrounding the room, the only thing she could hear was the pounding of her heartbeat, and she thought she was about to go insane.

It was the first time that Chaeyoung ever laid her eyes upon her, and Mina was a drunken mess, yet Chaeyoung still finds her...

“Pretty,” Chaeyoung spoke so softly that one could miss it, but Mina heard it so clearly as if Chaeyoung whispered it directly to her ears. Mina swore she’s trying her best to fight the blush that’s making its way to her cheeks. But Chaeyoung looked at her as if Mina gave her the world. So Mina self-destructed.

“What? I’m not drunk!” Mina quickly replied, her mind going haywire from all the drinking.

Nope, I am definitely drunk.

That night was just the beginning for the both of them, and Mina thought that maybe her mom was right about first impressions. But new beginnings and start overs weren't so bad after all.

---

The first time they ever fought was over a guy. Yup. A guy. 

Chaeyoung got home after two weeks of being away for a school competition in the US. It was torture for both of them to be away from each other for a few weeks. Still, they successfully busied themselves each day despite the distance, with Mina practicing ballet for her first recital and Chaeyoung studying for her competition.

Chaeyoung successfully took home the win for their school, but she wasn’t going to tell Mina that through calls. She wanted to come home as quickly as possible and watch the ballerina’s performance. She promised to be there after all. It was a 15-hour flight, and she hadn't talked to Mina ever since she boarded the plane. 

As soon as she landed, her father’s assistant was already waiting for her at the gate. She quickly asked him to take care of her luggage and took the Jasmine bouquet she asked him to arrange before she boarded her flight. She explained that she’s in a hurry for something. She quickly got in the car and drove to the school’s theatre.

Chaeyoung was about to check up on Mina backstage but realized she was just right on time for the performance to start. She quickly found a good seat and waited for the show to start. 

Chaeyoung doesn’t know much about ballet. All she knows is one, it’s Mina’s passion, and two, Arabesque, because that is Mina’s signature ending pose. That is why despite the lack of knowledge about the dance, she still finds it extraordinary. With a stunning ballerina performing in front of her, everything is just so ethereal. 

Few minutes had passed, and Chaeyoung was so indulged in watching the performers, well, Mina as the main character, of course. She assumed that the performance was trying to tell a story. Until a guy entered and held Mina on her waist, brought her up, and swung her around gracefully. It was amazing.

But Chaeyoung, she felt other things. Things were escalating quickly; how come no one told her that they were portraying lovers? At first, it was fine. She was convincing herself that it was just a performance—an act, a rehearsed choreographed routine. But she could not stop herself from the raging thoughts that are running inside her head.

Were they practicing this the whole month? Is this what Mina meant when she told me it was a surprise? Is this the person Mina told me she was getting feelings with? Is this why I never felt like Mina missed me while I was away?

The performance was beautiful. It was splendid, and Chaeyoung couldn’t be more proud to see the outcome of Mina’s hard work. However, her thoughts were consuming Chaeyoung. She didn’t know what to do. She needs to get herself together, but she was too dazed and confused. As minutes passed by, she felt more uncertain, sad, and angry. She was supposed to focus on the performance, but her feelings were getting in the way. 

After the show, Chaeyoung was about to fetch Mina backstage and greet her parents, but as she was on her way, she saw how Mina’s partner kissed her twice on her cheeks. They looked joyful and proud, and she didn’t know why it made her sad. God, she’s never going to admit that she’s jealous. That was it. She decided to ask the staff a favor to give Mina the flowers she bought. She chose to wait in her car. She wasn’t going to go backstage just to see Mina and her partner flirt in front of her. No way.

“Chaeyoungie!” Mina shouted, waving her hand as she made her way to the cub’s spot.

Mina brought down her things and gave Chaeyoung a big hug, “I missed you!” as she embraced the younger tighter. However, Chaeyoung was so distracted by her feelings that she had let her pride win over her even though the only thing that she wanted to do right now is to hug Mina back and snuggle closer. She just shrugged her off and gave her a half-hearted smile.

“Where are your parents?” Chaeyoung coldly asked, her eyes glued on the floor, trying to avoid Mina’s eyes.

“They went home. I told them I was going with you.”

Chaeyoung unconsciously scoffed, still pissed, with the images of that man flashing through her mind, “Why don’t you go with him?” she muttered.

“What?” Mina asked, putting all her things inside the car.

“Nothing,” Chaeyoung replied and finally got in on the driver’s seat.

It was a silent ride. Mina thought that maybe Chaeyoung was just tired from her flight; that’s why she’s acting weird, or perhaps she lost her competition; that’s why she’s upset. Mina didn’t want to force her to open up. She knows Chaeyoung will tell her if she’s ready. So she decided to talk about something else instead.

“Was I good?” Mina asked, looking sweetly at Chaeyoung. The cub gave her a small smile and only hummed in response. It was a small act, but it was enough for Mina. As long as Chaeyoung was there to watch her, it’s enough for her.

“So, where are we going?” Mina asked curiously, excited with the cub’s answer. 

“I’m taking you home.” She said, 

“But I’m hungry. Can we eat?”

“Why? He didn’t give you food?” Chaeyoung mumbled, but Mina heard her. 

“What are you talking about?” Mina asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Nothing.” 

Cold.

“Can we go for a drive-thru?” Mina asked gently, hoping that the change of topic will also change Chaeyoung’s mood. She knows Chaeyoung doesn’t get all moody just because she wants to, and Mina knows there’s a reason behind it. That’s why she’s gentle with Chaeyoung despite her coldness.

“What do you want to eat?” Chaeyoung asked, her eyes not leaving the road even though they’re at a red light.

Mina reached Chaeyoung’s hand before answering, “Mcdonalds. Your favorite.” 

Chaeyoung sighed, “I asked what you want, not my favorite.”

“Okay, Chaeyoungie, are you okay? What’s the problem?” Mina asked softly. 

But Chaeyoung has possessed a pride that is bigger than her.

“Nothing,” Chaeyoung replied.

Chaeyoung was already getting on Mina’s nerves. They’ve been separated for too long, and they’ve missed each other so much, and this is how Chaeyoung’s going to act? Leaving her second-guessing about the things going on with Chaeyoung? 

“Tell me the truth.”

“Go ask your boyfriend the truth.” Chaeyoung scoffed, and that snapped something inside of Mina. 

“What?!”

“I said nothing, Myoui.” Chaeyoung remained stoic. 

Oh, now we’re on a last name basis? Mina thought.

“Stop the car,” Mina demanded, trying to find any last ounce of patience inside her body because of Chaeyoung’s sudden outburst.

“What?”

“Please stop the car.” She pleaded, and Chaeyoung couldn’t do anything but comply with her request, stopping the car near the playground. It was nighttime, so no one was around. Mina quickly got out of the car to catch some fresh air, and Chaeyoung followed after her.

Silence hung for a good minute. Chaeyoung kept a safe distance, giving Mina enough space for her comfort. After a few more minutes, Mina finally decided to break the silence. 

“What’s the problem, Chaeyoung?” She asked quietly, hoping her sincerity can pull the truth out from Chaeyoung.

“Nothing.” She was stubborn.

Mina groaned and buried her face to her palms. “God, just when I’m about to tell you the truth.”

Chaeyoung’s ear perked up. 

So this is it, huh? I was gone for two weeks, and she managed to get a boyfriend. Wow.

“Finally, deciding to tell me about your boyfriend?” Chaeyoung asked, keeping a straight face in front of Mina to hide the pain that’s starting to rip her heart.

Mina’s head shot back up with the statement. 

“What- boyfriend?!” Mina cried out, dumbfounded by what she just heard.

“Yeah, the guy in your performa-“

“The guy in my-? Do you mean Kai?! He’s my partner, for god’s sake, Son Chaeyoung!”

“Well, he was intimate-“

“It was part of the performance, Chaeng! It’s called acting! You have to be in character to execute the dance perfectly!”

“Well, I don’t know-“

“Of course, you don’t know! You didn’t show up backstage earlier! If you did, maybe, you could've met him, and maybe you could’ve met his boyfriend too!”

“Oh- Woah- wait- what?”

“Yes! They were disgustingly sweet in front of me earlier, kissing and all. I was so jealous because he was so proud of him, and I was waiting for you to come! But what did I get? A staff delivering me your flowers and telling me that you’re staying in your car? How stupid of me to think that you’ll do the same thing? That you’ll walk through that door earlier and hug me because you missed me for two weeks, then you’ll say you’re proud of me for giving such an outstanding performance, and maybe, just maybe, kiss me too? Is it bad? Is it that bad to want the same thing they have for us—“ 

Chaeyoung rushes to give the ballerina a tight embrace, not letting Mina finish her sentence, “I’m sorry.” The cub mumbled as she ran her fingers through Mina’s soft black hair, trying to ease her from everything that had just happened. Chaeyoung felt guilty, seeing Mina’s frustration and sincerity in each word she said.

Chaeyoung gently pulled herself away to look at the beauty in front of her. Thinking about how she almost lost this because of her childish reaction, she wanted to laugh at herself badly. But she guesses that she won’t be coming home with only one win tonight.

She took a deep breath, gathering all of her strength before letting the following words come out of her mouth. “I love you, Mina.”

Mina remained expressionless, just looking blankly at the cub in front of her. She fiddled with her fingers as nervousness continued to take over her.

What just happened? What did I say? Did I just? Oh my god, stupid Mina! 

She thought to herself. But regardless of her thoughts, it all goes down to one thing; Chaeyoung loves her, and not just because of the cub’s I love you, but also because of the way she held her so gently, caressing her back and forearms, and Mina never felt so safe around someone’s arms.

She felt her heart calm and excited at the same time with the sudden burst of affection. Is that even possible? She doesn’t know. But with Chaeyoung, it is. 

Silence. 

The only noise that Chaeyoung and Mina could hear is the sound of calm wind blowing their faces and the tree branches swaying along with it. If they were cheesy, they could say that they could also hear the loud pounding of their heartbeats, knocking inside their rib cages, trying to get out of it.

Chaeyoung looked at her endearingly and reached for her hand, squeezing it gently before giving the older girl a soft smile. This has got to be it. The right moment has come for her to do that one thing she’s been longing to do since the day she met her. Chaeyoung slowly leaned in, careful not to freak Mina out and silently ask for proper consent. 

Mina smiled shyly and gently nodded as she threw her arms around the younger’s neck, pulling her closer before claiming the younger’s lips.

It was soft.

Remarkable. Perfect.

Everything stood still.

“Kiss me again,” Chaeyoung whispered as they parted, but Mina giggled with the request. 

Who knew that this once snobbish girl could be this demanding and clingy? Mina played with the cub’s hair and looked at her eyes that caged the entire universe inside them.

Chaeyoung smiled back and placed both of her hands on the ballerina’s cheeks, feeling the warmth against the winter’s cold air. She pouted when she realized that Mina wasn’t going to kiss her anytime soon.

“You know that I’m supposed to be mad at you, right? But you’re holding my face, and I can’t resist when you’re pouting like that.”

They both laughed before Mina leaned in and kissed the side of her mouth, where her mole is, and then gave her lips a fleeting kiss, which was immediately followed by a passionate one.

“That was our first kiss,” Chaeyoung shyly stated as they made their way back to the car hand in hand.

“And the first time we confessed,” Mina added, which Chaeyoung hummed in agreement.

“And our first fight.” Chaeyoung teased, which made Mina release her hand and give the younger a well-earned slap on her forearm. 

Chaeyoung chuckled, quickly reaching out for the older girl’s hand as she intertwined it with hers. Giving gentle kisses on her lover’s knuckles.

“I’m sure we’re going to have a lot more of it, and a lot more firsts, and everything we want, and much, much more!” Chaeyoung exclaimed as she looked beside her at the girl she loves the most.

Mina wasn’t sure if she was hearing everything right. But this sure felt like a dream. If ever it was, hell, she didn’t want to wake up. She couldn’t think of anything better than being with the girl beside her. She knew she couldn’t lose her and that whatever happens, nothing could be that bad because she has her. 

Looking back at the names Son Chaeyoung gained due to her popularity, Mina could finally correct all of them. 

1. T̶̶̶h̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶d̶̶̶i̶̶̶r̶̶̶e̶̶̶c̶̶̶t̶̶̶o̶̶̶r̶̶̶’̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶p̶̶̶r̶̶̶o̶̶̶d̶̶̶i̶̶̶g̶̶̶y̶̶̶ ̶̶̶d̶̶̶a̶̶̶u̶̶̶g̶̶̶h̶̶̶t̶̶̶e̶̶̶r̶̶̶.̶̶̶

Chaeyoung is unquestionably talented, but she also has her weak spot. Her vulnerability. The fragile girl inside of her eventually got tired of being too strong for too long.

2. The snobbish spoiled, rich kid who always gets what she wants. 

Chaeyoung is the most selfless person Mina has ever met her entire life. People around her are quick to judge because of how private Chaeyoung can be when she tends to help other people. After all, strong personalities often get misunderstood.

3. A̶̶̶ ̶̶̶p̶̶̶l̶̶̶a̶̶̶y̶̶̶e̶̶̶r̶̶̶ ̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶a̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶h̶̶̶a̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶n̶̶̶e̶̶̶v̶̶̶e̶̶̶r̶̶̶ ̶̶̶f̶̶̶a̶̶̶l̶̶̶l̶̶̶e̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶l̶̶̶o̶̶̶v̶̶̶e̶̶̶.̶̶̶ ̶̶̶

Lastly, Mina can finally prove to everyone that Son Chaeyoung isn’t a player, and she too can fall in love.

If anyone would ask her, who is Son Chaeyoung? She only has two things to say;

• Son Chaeyoung.

• The love of my life.

This night was the start of many firsts, for me, for you, and us.

---

Mina stared at the clock, hoping at each tick that a certain Son Chaeyoung would open the door and greet her. Chaeyoung has always been so busy lately that she couldn’t even see her as much anymore. 

Mina planned to welcome their 8th anniversary together. She even gave Chaeyoung a heads up about her plan, but it looks like she was going to do it alone tonight. 

It was their 8th anniversary. This is the first time Chaeyoung forgot about it. If Mina was honest, she was starting to get disappointed. No, scratch that. As soon as the clock struck that midnight, disappointment began to settle in, and with every minute that passes by without Chaeyoung beside her, she gets more frustrated and uncertain on their special day.

But Mina wanted to be more considerate. She knows Chaeyoung has been working hard for them, for their future. So she tries her best to convince herself that maybe something came up at work, or the traffic was terrible this time. 

She looked at the empty bottle of wine they got during their 5th anniversary in Italy. This isn’t how she imagined their night would go. She pictured the two of them having a good night, catching up about work, talking about random things, planning to do new things and travel again, then kiss, clean up all their mess, play some video games, kiss again, or maybe do something more than kissing. 

But she was accompanied by nothing but a bottle of wine.

A few more minutes passed. It was already 1 in the morning. Mina decided to call it a night. As she drank the last glass of wine, the door finally opened, and her heart skipped a beat. The girl she’s been waiting for for hours finally came home.

“Oh, Mina, Honey. I’m so sorry. The meeting was delayed because of the flight-- hey, are you crying? I’m so sorry, Babe.” 

“No, it’s okay. I’m fine. I just … I missed you. So much. You’re so busy with work lately.”

Chaeyoung crossed the distance between them and reached out to engulf her lover in a tight and warm embrace. Mina felt like melting right there, and then, it’s been a while since they’ve hugged like this.

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you, okay? I’m just going to--”

But her phone suddenly rang, and for a moment, they both just looked at each other. Both of them know all too well that the night was already ruined. 

“Take it. It must be important for them to call you at this time of the day.” Mina insisted before standing up.

Mina can see the guilt on her face as Chaeyoung silently went to her study room to take the call. Mina knows that Chaeyoung has been doing all of this for both of them. To be able to live the life they both dreamt of, it must’ve been harder for the other girl to carry such a high position with a huge responsibility.

She placed her present on the table in the living room, hoping Chaeyoung would see it as soon as she finished her work, and proceeded to go to the bathroom to wash up.

Before going to sleep, Mina decided to write a letter, 

“Chaeyoungie,

Happy Anniversary, love. 

If you’re reading this, I’m probably asleep next to you right now. I never thought the wine we had in Italy tasted so good. It must’ve been because we store that wine for years, or maybe because of what I’ve been feeling. But it would’ve been better if I drank it with you. I don’t know. I miss you so much, do you know that? I miss you. It sometimes hurts to see you leave every morning and come home exhausted from work. It frustrates me that I couldn’t do anything for you. But still, I want to be here for you. I hope you know that, and I only wish you never forget that.

Over time I realized a lot of things. We are not perfect, Chaeyoung. We will never be. But that’s what makes it more beautiful, right? And that only leads me to believe that beautiful things don't always have to be beautiful all the time.

It’s been eight years, my love. Everything still feels like the first time. Except for the times, we argue a lot. Was that what you meant eight years ago? That we’ll probably have more of it? Either way, I still want to discover and experience things with you. But I also want to be completely honest with you; I love you so much, Son Chaeyoung. I hope you still feel the same way too.”

and at the end of the letter, she wrote,

“Because you don’t even look at me the same way anymore.”

Mina re-read the letter before she relents a heavy sigh and decides to tear the last part and throw it in the dustbin.

---

Walking out of the bathroom, Mina finally recalled some of the memories last night. She noticed the water bottle, some aspirins, and a note on the bedside table. There’s a cute doodle of a penguin and strawberry, and at the other side of the doodle says,

“Happy Anniversary, my love. I’m sorry I ruined our night. Let me make it up to you. Drink this so you’ll feel better, and come out here as soon as possible; please, before I burn our kitchen. I love you so much, Mina. I still do.

P.S. I will always look at you as if it’s the first time.”

The End.