Work Text:
There are three things that Silent Bob knows about Jay that most people wouldn't believe.
1. Their rent is always paid on time, and it's not because of Bob. All Bob does is listen - or half-listen; he's heard it enough that he doesn't need to pay that much attention again - to Jay talk about how dealers who don't have a stable base of operations are fucking idiots while Jay takes care of it.
Jay's monthly rant never mentions that he and his mom got evicted an average of three times a year when he was growing up. (The record was seven. That was a bad year.)
2. The reason they don't go out partying until late on Halloween has nothing to do with the fact that both business and partying are better later. Jay stocks up on giant bags of candy - some shoplifted, some paid for to cover up the lifted bags - and they make sure every kid who comes to their door goes home with enough candy to make every dentist in the tri-state area cry.
(When they were kids, Jay would sometimes trick-or-treat with him. They never went to Jay's, and they never got more than two or three handfuls of candy between them.)
3. There's only one person Jay will sleep in a bed with. He fucks anything that moves and says yes, and he'll even deign to go out on a date if there's someone he really wants to fuck, but at the end of the night, he's in bed by himself or next to Bob.
(Jay didn't have a teddy bear growing up. Bob knows it's not the only reason Jay sleeps with him, but sometimes he thinks Jay's making up for it with the way he holds on so tight.)