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Drinking, Sex, Sarcasm
All crutches
Her sanity escaping
No matter how hard she clutches
To that small thread of hope
Grasping for straws
Reaching through the abyss
But swallowed up by claws
That pull her back in
Not ready to release
Its prized possession
To let her have peace
Kill and kill again
Over and over it goes
No matter how many she puts down
There’s still more foes
Who want to harm her family
Hurt and kill her loved ones
Which she’ll never allow
As the bullet leaves her glowing gun’s
Barrel and careens toward
It’s target acquired
A thundering echo
As it’s fired
But with each trigger pulled
Comes a price to pay
Bullet by bullet, piece by piece
She’s chipped away
Slowly over the years
She’s changed, hardened
The guilt and shame builds
Her sins she’s not pardoned
“She’s crazy,” “insane,”
The town’s bad seed
“As broken as they come,”
The insecurities their words feed
She doesn’t have time
To deal with trauma
Her physical and emotional
Her mental drama
Slipping further away
While her vices get stronger
The person she once was
Exists no longer
Replaced by someone
Her family doesn’t recognize
All of her feelings
Reflected in her eyes
No matter the damage
That’s inflicted on herself
She’ll always put them first
Her needs and wants back on a shelf
Her family is her life
And she theirs
Though in her mind
She thinks no one cares
And why should they?
Accept burden, take pity
On a crazy chick
With a gun so gritty
Her life is worthless
Except for this one task
To keep them safe, alive, happy
Is all she’d ever ask
If she succeeds in that
Then she can die with a smile
It will have all been worth it
All worthwhile
Jeremy, Rachel,
Waverly, Nicole Haught
Nedley, Mercedes,
Gus, Alice and Doc
Without them she’s nothing
Empty inside
But she won’t burden them
Will not confide
That her demons aren’t just physical
But in her mind as well
Peacemaker can’t send these ones
Back to Hell
She can’t keep going
At this nonstop pace
The evidence as clear
As the tear stains on her face
To spare them the pain
She’ll shoulder the weight
Even though she’s becoming
Something she fears they’ll hate
It’s the price she’ll pay
To keep them from harm
Even though her actions
Cause them alarm
Whiskey-soaked and reckless
Just to feel numb
To ease the ache in her heart
But she’s not dumb
She knows it won’t last
It never will
Just as the demons keep coming
Shots fired, another kill
She sacrifices her soul
With each life she takes
Her family wants to help
Before she completely breaks
But it’s better to be alone
To isolate
Separate herself
Before it’s too late
They all move on
Have their whole lives ahead
While she’s stuck in place
One day will wind up dead
By then they’ll be safe
Her mission complete
Her legacy holds
As the demons retreat
She’s accepted her fate
But the others have not
They refuse to let her
Take her final shot
Her sister’s hand in hers
Her lover’s embrace
To show her where she belongs
Her true place
These relationships
They’re not one-sided
While her intentions were true
They were also misguided
She’s not expendable
Not worthless, not unloved
She always gets back up
Not matter how hard she’s shoved
Her life matters
As much as their own
They need her here
Their love they have shown
Whether she believes it or not
She’s this family’s glue
Their words, their emotions
All ring true
Her life is more
Than a kamikaze mission
Something she could never take back
A final decision
She needs them now
More than ever
Continuing her journey
Her never-ending endeavor
They’ll do whatever it takes
To show her she matters
Even though it feels like
Her life is in tatters
She’s learning to lean
On them little by little
They seal up her cracks
No longer so brittle
It may take days, weeks
Months, maybe even years
To repair all the damage
Done by her fears
But they are with her
Every step of the way
They all have each other
She’s here, and will stay