Work Text:
It’s a rainy afternoon. The skies were grey, rain tapped against the roof steadily, and it was chilly. It was the perfect day for being cozy indoors. Beauty planned to take full advantage of it. She sat in the big, comfy chair in the corner of the room and put her feet up on the footrest. On the small table to her left was a large, black, hardcover book.
Ah, Berserk. She’d been waiting for it to come in the mail for weeks, and it had just arrived yesterday. Now, she was being blessed with a day to read it. So lucky, wasn’t she? Beauty grabbed the book from the table and settled in. She turned to page one.
Gasser, on the other hand, was not as relaxed on this rainy afternoon. He was sitting on the couch, hands clutching his knees as he watched Beauty read. She seemed so content. She had her book and a comfortable chair. Her face was a bit scrunched, the way it always was when she was concentrating. Gasser thought it was cute. She must be really enjoying whatever she was reading.
All the more reason for Gasser to be nervous.
He could feel his guts cramping already. At some point, he would need to fart. It was inevitable. Inescapable. And once it happened, the soothing, rainy calm of the day would be broken. Beauty would t want to read her fancy new book anymore. Gasser wouldn’t be able to show his face to her for a week if that happened.
However, there was also another problem. If he held it too long, Beauty would notice. She’d begin to worry, too kind and caring for her own good, and insist on making him feel better. That would also take her away from her reading. So, Gasser had to find a middle ground. A compromise. Something to keep the peace.
Silent farting.
It was a genius plan. Gasser would just try to pass gas as quietly as possible! Then he wouldn’t disturb Beauty, and he also wouldn’t explode. That’s what he liked to call a win-win. Gasser looked to Beauty, who was still absorbed in her book. She wouldn’t notice if it was quiet. Probably.
Shifting in his seat, Gasser tried to get comfortable. He had to relax. If he was too tense, he wouldn’t be able to control it at all. After a minute, a comfortable position came to him. He settled. He looked at Beauty again. She didn’t seem to notice his restlessness. Perfect.
Taking a chance, Gasser let a small fart slip out. It was silent. He let out the breath he had been holding. Not too bad! This was fine! He would just do this every once in a while and they would enjoy their rainy afternoon! His plan was…
PFFFFBBBBTTTT
A failure. An absolutely gut-wrenching failure.
Gasser felt his cheeks burn. He had relaxed too much and it all came out at once. Loudly. It was like a bass drum. It had echoed! Vibrated! Burying his face in his hands, he just let the rest of the flatulence blast out. There was no stopping it. What was the point, anyway? He’d already ruined the atmosphere.
A chuckle made Gasser look up. Beauty had put her book down, her shoulders heaving with giggles. Oh no. Gasser had broken her. Oh, he was the worst! He hid his face in his hands again.
Beauty got up and walked over. She smiled as she grabbed Gasser’s hands and pulled them away from his face. The poor thing was just so red. Like a ripe strawberry. She kissed his forehead, giggling when Gasser seemed positively shocked.
“That was a big one! You’re so stinky!” Beauty said, giving Gasser another kiss.
“I-I...wha?” Gasser sputtered.
“Yes, you are! I love my stinky boy~”
Gasser’s face was warm now, but it wasn’t because he was embarrassed. Well, that wasn’t accurate. He was embarrassed. Now, it was just a...good kind of embarrassed. The kind of embarrassed that came from Beauty’s cheerful compliments and gentle kisses. Gasser didn’t meet Beauty’s eyes, his hand awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.
“Sorry. You were reading.” Gasser mumbled.
“Why are you sorry? I don’t mind. In fact, I can always use a good laugh while reading Berserk. It gets really dark.” Beauty said.
“But it’s so loud and it’s pretty gross and -“
Beauty pressed her lips to Gasser’s. “I don’t mind a little smelliness from my favorite stinky boy.”
Gasser chuckled nervously. Beauty walked back to her chair and grabbed her book. She came back and plopped down next to Gasser, cuddling into his side as she began to read again. Gasser rested his cheek on the top of her head. He looked down at the book. Oh, it was a manga. Neat.
...wait.
“Is he...showing that guy porn?” Gasser asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
“Hm? Oh, yeah. Griffith’s a little strange. But look at Guts’ face in the panel! It’s so cute!” Beauty said.
Gasser blinked. “What exactly is this about?”
“Oh. Well…”
Gasser settled in to listen to Beauty talk. He never thought he would be thankful for a fart being so obnoxious, but if it got Beauty to snuggle with him, maybe it wasn’t so bad. Just this once.