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When the lights fade and the facades fall, this is what you’re left with: Tuxedo Mask without a mask, you without your moonlit glamor. Tux the civilian is handsome, you can tell, and this is it—the moment you’ve been waiting for.
He lifts his face.
The youma's words come rushing back: Let the truth be known, the city’s deepest secrets shown.
Tuxedo Mask is none other than Kim Seokjin.
Suddenly, you’re reminded of a crystalline city; people bowing before you; Seokjin taking your hand, your matching rings gleaming in the light. Was it a memory or a dream?
You stand there, dumbfounded, until Tux/Seokjin dons his mask and brushes past. “Come on, Sailor Moon,” he says, sensible enough to use your alias. “The coast is clear. We’ve got a fight to finish.”
☾
“Why does it have to be Seokjin?" You whine, collapsing into bed and disturbing your sleeping cat. (In your defense, he was on your pillow. Which you’ve told him numerous times not to rest on because his fur would shed.) Luckily, Agust is acquainted with your dramatic side and simply gets up to move.
“Well, why do you have to be Sailor Moon?” He points out. “It could have been someone less bothersome.”
“Hey,” you retaliate. “You’re the one who came to me. You could have given anyone the Lunar Key.”
“I didn't have a choice.”
“What do you mean you didn’t? You could have walked away and picked someone better, just like that.”
He scoffs. “Not when it’s the Queen.”
“Queen-schmeen." You flop back onto your bed, the springs creaking in protest. "I bet Her Royal Highness is on her throne right now, all nice and comfy. She couldn't care less."
Agust doesn't reply.
At first, you think it's because you've won and nothing else can be said, but when the silence stretches on, you know something is off. You sit up to see Agust no longer curled into himself, but sitting. He stares out your window into the night, his normally keen eyes empty. "She's dead."
Judging by his somber tone, she'd meant a lot to him. "I'm sorry," you whisper.
Agust sighs. "No need to apologize, kid. She was your mother, after all."
"My mother?"
"Not now," he amends. "But she was a long time ago, when you were the princess of the moon and Seokjin the prince of the earth.”
☾
The next morning, you head to school on time. Your mom—present day mom—was surprised to see you up early, and Jeongguk called you out like the bratty brother he was (wow, no morning run today?), but the truth was you couldn’t sleep.
Last night, Agust recounted your past, how the dark eclipsed the moon. Although the queen tried her best to protect the kingdom, it was to no avail. Seokjin died in the fray, and you fell shortly after, helpless to save your beloved. In the end, the queen sacrificed herself to give you and Seokjin another chance at love, her people another chance at happiness.
A chance to rebuild the Silver Millennium.
The thing was, you didn’t know if that was what you wanted. Not that you’d want the Dark Kingdom to reign, but you weren’t sure whether you wanted to rule in your mother’s stead. Or marry Seokjin. Past you might have wanted to, but the you now could barely stand him. And neither could he. Or so you thought. You’d gotten along just fine with Tuxedo Mask, even grown a crush, but that wasn’t enough to warrant a marriage.
“Hello? Veen to Selene*?” Someone nudges your shoulder, and with a start, you notice Mina looking at you in concern.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“Nothing yet, but it looks like you’ve got something on your mind. What’s up?”
You’re about to tell her when you see Seokjin approaching, his uniform blazer neatly pressed.
“Morning, ______,” he says. “Mina.”
“Morning,” you reply, ready for whatever biting remark he’d say next. But once Namjoon comes up, he leaves. That's it.
Even Mina, who hardly sees the two of you interact, notices. "That's the first time I've seen you guys polite. It's weird. What happened?"
After a discreet look around, you grab her by the elbow. “He's Tux,” you hiss, but Mina doesn’t look the least bit shocked. Her face breaks out into a giddy grin, like a child who’s finally tall enough to get on the big kid ride.
“You knew?” You ask, a little hurt she didn’t tell you.
She pouts, squishing your cheeks together. “Don’t be mad. You don't know how hard it was to keep it a secret.”
◑
You don't blame Mina, for the most part. It would have been better if you hadn’t known who Tuxedo Mask was, and vice versa. You felt like Cinderella running away from the ball, her beautiful dress giving way to rags and ratty shoes. If the prince caught up to her then, she’d probably be humiliated.
Just like you are now.
Tuxedo Mask has seen you at your most embarrassing moments, fighting to have the last word (or milkshake) as Seokjin, and also at your best, saving civilians with grace. You've only wanted him to see the best of you, for him to think of you as the perfect wonder-girl heroine everyone else saw you as, but he's seen almost every side. You don't know what he sees in you now, if anything. And frankly, you don't want to know.
"Have you ever thought that maybe he's thinking what you're thinking?" Mina asks. "You've seen all the good and bad in him, too."
"But it's different when he doesn't have a crush on Sailor Moon!" You say, exasperated.
"Oh, I wouldn’t be sure about that if I were you."
Seokjin thinking of your alter ego that way is embarrassing, but considering he's also Tuxedo Mask...now your face is red, you can feel it. Red as roses in bloom. "You're joking, right?"
"Why don't you wait and see," Mina replies, as cryptically as when she was Sailor V and you hadn't known any better. Having sympathy for you, she gives you a warm smile. "Don't stress out too much, Moon. You're amazing either way. Just talk to him."
◑
You think there's some reconnaissance to sort out first. When you walked into Crown Arcade and saw Seokjin talking to Jimin pretty intently, you didn’t want to interrupt...okay, who were you kidding? You chickened out.
But Jimin is his best friend, so he'll know how Seokjin feels the most, right? It's the next best alternative to actually speaking to Seokjin, which, well, you aren't ready for. Case in point: you've done the impossible and made yourself scarce. You aren’t about to break your streak now.
So the instant Seokjin leaves, you walk up to the counter. Jimin looks up from sprinkling a milkshake. "Hey. The usual?"
"Yeah, just double on the chocolate."
"You got it," he says, passing the drinks he finished making to a server. You watch him blend milk into ice cream, then reach over for a new cup to pour the mixture into later. It's all done with practiced ease, and you marvel at how quick he is, not to mention how beautiful the finished milkshake looks after. The chocolate is perfect, the whipped cream a cloud of snow drizzled with dark syrup.
Jimin slides it over with a grin. "Mademoiselle."
"Why, thank you," you say, digging in with gusto. This is exactly what "stressed is desserts spelled backwards," meant: Jimin's milkshakes never fail to kick your worries down a notch.
"Good?" He asks.
"Mhm," you mumble, more to your milkshake than to him, when the thought that you haven't paid yet crosses your mind. Oh gosh. You pull your purse onto your lap, but Jimin chuckles, stopping you.
"I've got it covered. Besides, I heard you weren't yourself lately."
"Really?"
He shrugs. "From the way you're devouring that, it's kind of hard to believe…"
You take an extra large mouthful to prove his point.
"But you only lay on the chocolate when you're bummed," he finishes, and you’d protest if you hadn’t made it a habit to drown your sorrows in his milkshakes. They were just too good to resist. Not to mention Jimin is a great listener. Your girls, although you love them, aren't always the best. You'd catch the moment they crossed over from attentive to "Is she done yet?" but with Jimin, you've never had that issue. Turns out you have a different one.
"I hate how perceptive you are."
He laughs. "You're just predictable."
"You know what? You can take back your milkshake and go back to work," you say in a fit of grumpiness, pushing the glass back to him.
"Are you sure you want me to do that?" You meet him eye to eye. After a minute—a long, impressive minute might you add—you take it back. "Fine. What do you want to hear?"
"Anything you want to tell me. And if it's something you can't share, please tell someone you can. It's not great to keep things bottled up, trust me."
You sigh. "Here's the deal," you begin, feeling a little weird telling your old crush about your new one, but marching through nevertheless, "I met someone on...online. He's nice and funny and understands me even though he's different. I just click with him, and eventually, I want to tell him I like him. The thing is, I don't really know who he is. We've been chatting on Discord and his profile picture is Tuxedo Mask, but he can't be Tuxedo Mask. Or maybe he is, who knows?"
Jimin laughs. If only he knew.
"Anywho," you continue, "I meet him and find out he's someone I actually know...but he's a pest. He always gets on my nerves and it's like he's a completely different person! I don't even know how that's possible, but apparently it is and it's just so frustrating."
Jimin doesn't speak for a while, which is fine by you. You take the time to jam spoonfuls of chocolate and cream into your mouth.
"You know," he finally says, amused, "that sounds a little like the plot to You've Got Mail."
"That isn't funny.” You huff. “Joe Fox was a jerk and I don't know why they played him off as charming."
"Isn't that what you think of the guy?"
"I never said he was a jerk."
"But you said he was a pest."
"That isn't the s—" You pull at your hair. "Ugh. I don't know anymore."
"Did you talk to him?"
"And what? Spill my complicated feelings?"
"No, just talk to him. You don't have to confess right now. Just air out the laundry and see where you guys are at. Chances are, if you're confused, then he's confused, too, and there's no way either of you can get out of it without talking to each other."
"I can't talk to him, Jimin. I avoided him for three weeks! He's going to hate me."
"He isn't," Jimin says firmly, and you wish you could have the same conviction. "Sure, he'll be upset, but if he's really someone who cares, he'll listen. Look, during that time you avoided him, did he try to reach out?"
"Well, I told him I didn't want to talk and he stopped asking."
"So he'll listen. If it turns out he hates you, give him a piece of your mind and I'll give you triple chocolate milkshakes on the house."
When he puts it like that, talking to Seokjin doesn't seem as dreadful. "You're not just saying that?"
"Have I ever said something I didn't mean?"
You get your answer when someone comes trudging in, holding up a bag from your go-to fast food joint. "Jimin! You better be grateful I drove all the way downtown to get you these burgers. Since when did you like ______'s favorite, anyways?"
"Since now," your traitor of a friend says. You glare at him, which he conveniently ignores.
"You're the best," he tells a surprised Seokjin, leaving with a pat on his shoulder. "Enjoy your meal!"
◔
Eating with someone has never been so awkward.
You don't bite into your burger so much as you stare at it, willing it to disappear while Seokjin munches away.
He swallows. "Aren’t you going to eat that?"
Shaking your head, you push it forward. "You can have it. I’m not hungry."
Seokjin eyes you suspiciously. You play dumb, pulling out your phone to switch the settings on your alarm. It rings a minute later.
"Shoot!" You jump up from your seat. "Forgot I had class. Gotta—"
In your hurry, you don’t catch Seokjin's sneaker sticking out and step on it. Hard.
"Ow!" Seokjin yelps as you make a beeline for the door. Before you can open it, a bunch of elementary schoolers enter in single file, all wearing yellow caps.
When the last one comes in, you breathe a sigh of relief...only to notice an orange capped kid and a new line of students behind her. You glance over your shoulder. Seokjin is approaching fast. For a second, you’re tempted to push your way out, but you don't. They're kids. No matter how stupidly prim and proper they're being.
Have they never tried ice cream and shakes?
"You think they'd be more excited," Seokjin comments, standing next to you now.
"Right?" You sigh, watching them order and count out their coins up front. "Seeing them act so grown-up is creepy."
He shudders. "I can't imagine living like that again. 10 out of 10 would not recommend."
"Glad you agree," you say, spotting a space between the kids and the door. Abruptly, you drop down and squeeze yourself through to a chorus of hey's and crazy lady's, all of which you've heard before. They should really come up with better insults.
"Psst, Thumper, what are we doing down here?"
You thought too soon.
In theory, Thumper sounds like a cute nickname, but you’ve only ever been called that when someone wanted to point out your overbite. It was either that or Jaws. You whirl around to see Seokjin right behind you, holding onto your hoodie. You yank it back.
"Sorry," he says, and you're so shocked you stare at him for a few seconds. "I know that's long overdue. I'd give you a laundry list of apologies, but my foot is kind of getting cramped."
"Oh. Yeah, um." You quickly scan the area, finding an empty bench underneath a well-trimmed tree. "Let's talk there."
◯
Seokjin wasn't kidding when he said he’d had a lot of apologizing to do. He'd pulled up a list on his Notes app, apologizing for the time he'd said you must be stupid to fail on a curved test to the time he'd told you to give up on Jimin because he’d never like you back.
"I was jealous," he admits. "Jimin already gets the most chocolates on Valentine's, but instead of keeping them, he gives them away to kids at the orphanage. And what's more, you're like that, too."
"Me?" You thought he was talking about Jimin. Besides, you would have eaten all the chocolates. You wish you would have thought of sharing them.
"Don't look at me like you're innocent. You're the worst. You're nice and you actually mean it."
"Is that supposed to be an insult?"
"No," he backtracks, cheeks flushed. "Sorry. I'm bad at giving compliments. I just mean you're…"
"Perfect?" You guess, a little cheeky.
"Now you're just fishing," he says.
"Then what were you going to say?"
"I"—he takes a breath—"don't think it's a good idea. It's really sappy. I'm dying inside just thinking about it."
Honestly, it's a little endearing. You smile. "I promise I won't laugh."
"Don't bet on it," he says, but the way he’s looking at you is so tender you almost melt on the spot. "You weren't wrong when you said perfect. You're funny and kind in a way I can't explain, and you have a lot of heart to share, even with people who don't deserve it. Even with me. I guess I wanted to say it makes sense you’re meant to save the day, and your Discord avatar doesn't do you justice."
"Oh," you breathe, speechless. Seokjin said he was bad at delivering compliments? Well, you aren't good at receiving them. "I don't know what to say."
Seokjin coughs. Then coughs some more. Gingerly, you reach out to pat his back. "Are you okay?"
"'Course not," he manages. "Is that all you have to say"—he pulls away to cough—"after I waxed poetic"—wheezing now—"about you?"
"Thank you?"
"That's better," he says, straightening a bit. "Go on." So that's why he was coughing: he wanted words of affirmation. You can't believe he accused you of fishing for compliments.
"I guess I don't get why my Discord avatar doesn't do me justice?"
You almost laugh when he blanches. "Oh, that. We don't talk about that."
"Why not?" You lean in to give him your most innocent (read: cutest) look.
He huffs. "You're prettier in person. Saying that out loud forces me to realize it even more."
"I don't see how that's a bad thing."
"I like you, Thumper," he says, "but I'd be stupid to think you'd like me back."
A rush of warmth courses through you, and you have to bite your tongue to keep from smiling. "Maybe you should be a little stupid, then."
Now it’s his turn to look speechless. "But—" His voice cracks, and he clears his throat before starting again. "But I'm a jerk."
"You apologized."
"I'm not cut out to be a hero, not like you are."
"That's why you’re the sidekick."
He pouts. It's probably the most adorable thing you've seen, right up there with the compilation of kitten videos Mina sent you last week. "You didn’t have to go that far."
"I'm kidding," you say, laughing. "I'm not cut out to be a hero, either. I'm a huge crybaby. Remember when you found me hiding behind the jewelry counter because I was scared of the you-know-what?"
He nods.
"You said I didn't need to steal anything because—"
Groaning, Seokjin swipes a hand down his face. "There's a reason I said it behind a m—I mean, my screen."
"But it worked. You made me laugh, and you were the one who always picked me up when I was feeling down or insecure or frustrated. You were the brave one, the guy with the plan, and…" You pick at your skirt, suddenly shy. This is all so new. "You meant it that day, didn't you?"
Gently, he takes your hands in his. It's comforting to know they're a little clammy. "You have my heart, ______. Hook, line, and sinker. Don't ever make me say that again."