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There was something about a full moon during the winter months that Remus found enticing. He wouldn't have said that he looked forward to them - he still hated what the moon did to him every month, what he was forced to turn into and how it floored him for longer than was at all helpful. He hated that it made him so ill and took everything that was him away. But a winter moon was still special, a winter moon fuelled him with energy that he didn't know that he wanted until he was practically vibrating as it filled him up.
Although they hadn't been together all that long, Tonks had become aware that the full moons during the winter months were different than the full moons during the rest of the year. While she had never once said that she was at all bothered by his lycanthropy, he knew that it took its toll on her as well. These winter months served as a reprieve for the both of them.
"Remus?" Her voice was soft now as she appeared in the bedroom that they both knew he wasn't going to be able to spend the night in. They had been lucky enough to find a flat in muggle London far away from anything concerning the war, but this meant that he couldn't at all risk having a change in their home. He would have to go elsewhere, but they were both used to that. Remus used to insist that Tonks go to her mother's so that she wouldn't be alone, but she was possibly the most stubborn person that he had ever met and she was adamant that she was going to wait for him at the flat for however long she needed to, so that she would be there to greet him when he came back.
"Yes, Dora?" He stood when he saw her, those eyes of hers sparkling in a way that made his heart skip a beat every single time. Remus had never envisioned himself falling in love with a woman, but now he couldn't imagine his life without Tonks, or without their unborn child, the same child he had once tried to run away from. He cupped her cheeks in his hands when she said nothing and pressed a kiss to her forehead, her nose, and finally her lips. "Are you alright, my love?"
Tonks nodded, though there were a few moments before she spoke again, those sparkling eyes of hers fixed on his in a way that both comforted him that there was nothing seriously wrong, and made his heart race because it was unlike Tonks not to speak her mind freely. "You'll be leaving soon?"
Remus paused. They both knew that that was inevitable. He had to go. The potion made sure that he didn't completely lose himself but it didn't render him harmless, there were still risks and while there were still risks to Tonks and their 'cub' (as she liked to refer to the baby, much to his chagrin) he was going to continue to put as much distance between himself and her as he could.
"It's just a night." He said softly as he studied those eyes of hers which had taken on a green tinge since she had come into the bedroom. One of the side effects of her pregnancy so far had been that she had very little control of her metamorphosis, which he found amusing but she did not.
"Yeah, and then the two nights after that." She said with a sigh before she turned her head and pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand. Remus could only watch as Tonks pulled away from him and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. More than ever he wished that she would go to her mother'svor at least brought Andromeda here, but he knew that that was unlikely to happen.
He sat down beside her and took her hand into his own. "It'll be okay, love." He said softly as he gave her hand a squeeze, only to have her take his hand and lay it on her bump, over their baby. Remus' breath hitched when he felt the rapid movements under his fingers and he blinked back tears of happiness. He'd felt the baby move before but never like this. Part of him was horrified, part of him realised that like himself the baby was feeding off the energy of the wintery full moon, but another part of him was ecstatic. He couldn't explain why as his thoughts didn't want to stay still long enough for him to be able to pin them down but he did know one thing and they was that their cub was strong.
"He wants to be near you." He heard Tonks whisper in a way that he deemed unfair. It wasn't his fault that he had to go away. It wasn't his fault that he had this 'furry little problem'. And it definitely wasn't his fault that he didn't want to accidentally kill his family or worse, inflict them both with the condition that he was cursed to love with. Remus couldn't live with himself if anything like that were to happen to Tonks of their child.
"And I want to be near her." Remus whispered back as he moved to lie Tonks down on the bed before he lay on his stomach, his cheek now against where the baby was kicking.
"Him." Tonks muttered. They often argued about whether the baby was going to be a boy or a girl, and honestly at times like this Remus was glad of it as it gave them a sense of normalcy in a time when they could lose their lives at any moment. His thoughts flickered to James and Lily in that moment, just briefly as he realised that he was being given a taste of what it must have been like to be hunted by the dark wizard who still threatened their lives.
"Sure, sure. Him." He was glad that she couldn't see him roll his eyes from their current positions, but he was sure that she could probably hear his tone was not one of agreement. Remus blew out a puff of air before he pressed a kiss to her bump. "Daddy loves you." He then sat up and pressed a kiss to Tonks' cheek before he clambered down off of the bed. "And I love you." He told her before he grabbed his back from the bedpost. "But I've got to go."
Time was getting on and the longer that he waited, the more he was playing with fire, and Remus wasn't at all a person that liked to live on the edge. He didn't want to go, but a small voice in the back of his head liked to tell him that the sooner that he left, the sooner he could get back. And he really did want to get back. He had someone to come home to, after all. Well - more than one someone.