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Jason has realized quickly that what he want, what he is, isn’t normal. He has realized that before his research for his biological mom. Sometimes, he thought that Bruce and Alfred were family and they loved him. Sometimes he remembered what a great liar they were, all his future depended on them. Sometimes he remembered hos he loved Willis, how he loves Catherine and forgiven Sheila. No matter how much he loved them, he never trusted them with all his soul and heart. Finally he takes his secret on his grave.
Literally.
But now he feels better. Sort of.
Many things happen since his resurrection. But the only person knowing Jason’s secret is Essence.
Jason can’t really explain why. Essence has the same secondary gender as Jason, who is an alpha. She is raised by a culture different from Jason but with cliché about gender too.
When Jason let Essence know, he didn’t expect her to understand or being accepted. But she was.
As much Jason was relieved then, he is still scared that someone knows the true.
Many things happen since Essence.
Now Jason is happily in a relationship with Roy, an omega.
Jason is truly happy, more that he can remembered. And Roy must be too since he didn’t dumped him, yet.
Sex is good too. Jason makes sure of that. Doing like every intercourse may be the last one. Like he fears they could be. And since Roy initiate many time, Jason must succeed. But the true, like his fears, never disappears.
He does his best to fight the thought that harass him, but sometimes he lost.
This time is one of them.
Roy isn’t at home. He shouldn’t come back for a few days. So Jason thinks he is sage enough to succumb. He puts the box that he hides in one of his room walls. He cuts the security while his heart is beating cray. He can’t believe he will finally do it. It’s been months, almost a year.
There is his collection of sex toy in the box.
No fake cunt or anything else alpha are traditionalism portray use it.
There is dildo from different size, color and brand with different option.
Jason almost throw himself on the biggest Bad Dragon he has, then he stops when he see the dildo he brought one time on a space mission. Jason still doesn’t know who invent it and how it works, but this things is wild enough that it provokes Jason’s rut every time, no matter where on his cycle he is.
He had to take a deep breath. It’s been almost a year since he had the audacity to even fingered himself. He has to play soft, at least at first.
His eyes fall on a smaller and less crazy dildo. Its shape make him of Roy’s dick.
Thinking of his mate, guilt submerge him. He hates hide a part of him to Roy, even if it’s just a kinky part of him.
But his biological father’s voice, his old friend's, even Bruce’s friend’s voices remind him that he is abnormal.
An alpha who loves takes it in his ass, he is not a real alpha, neither can be a good mate.
And Jason want to be good, especially for Roy. It’s not like he want Roy to have a different secondary gender or change his.
He imagine Roy fucking him with his dick, how they can play together with a double penetration dildo.
Fuck all this asshole voices, but mostly fuck him.
Horniest is stronger that shame and he takes the smaller dildo.
Once he will have calmed the urge he could become again a good mate for Roy
Roy come back much earlier than he expected from his mission. Not that he is disappointed by that, quite the contrary. He missed Jason so much.
He realizes once in the front door that he didn’t warn Jason like he wanted. He can only hope that his mate will be at home.
All the tiredness he feels flies away when he smell sex. No other smell that his mate, so he is absolutely turn on.
“Jaybird.” He sing song while approaching the room
What he sees is so marvelous that he doesn’t believe it at first.
He won’t going to lie, he sometimes imagine fucking Jason. Who could blame him? But Jason never seems interested and Roy didn’t want him to feel pressure to do anything.
But now!
Now that he saw Jason ridding a really monstrous dildo, one of his hand gripping hard the headbed, surrounded by used dildo on their bed, the most illogical part of his omega brain whispers:
“Damn, I want carry his children.”
Not gonna happen if he does the fucking. He just can’t help but always have this though when he is really horny.
Without getting the time to think, Roy join Jason on their bed.
“Jaybird.” He whispers in his ears before kissing him deeply and caressing his fabulous thigh
Jason shivers but kiss him back with abandonment
At first.
As suddenly as unreal everything has been for Roy since he comes back, Jason pushes him violently, making him fall out the bed.
Roy realizes that the fact that Jason wanted alone sex time doesn’t mean that Roy can join him without making sure Jason want him to.
But before he could apologies, the room reek of fear and anger.
The look on Jason’s face freezes Roy.
The betrayal, the terror, the hate.
Roy was hoping fucking Jason, but it seems he fuck it.
“I…
-Get out!”Jason yells using his deep alpha voice
Jason never use it on people he loves, because he knows how you can feel miserable and afraid, even if it may be illogically, when this voice is used.
And damn! Roy feels miserable.
Jason deserves the world, and Roy want to give it to him.
Roy crawls to the bed, to Jason, showing him his neck with pitiful moans. He need to apologies.
But Jason pushes him again, repeat his order with more strength and baring his teeth.
Roy have to admit that he has to back off if he really want things to cool off.
He really, really doesn’t like that but submit.
Carefully he leaves the room and starts pacing in their living room.
He repeats his apologies in his head.
He keep questioning why Jason react so violently.
It’s happened before that Roy or Jason had an alone time and the other want to join. A simply “No” was always enough.
He realizes that he never saw this sex toy before, never Jason shares any interest to play with his hole.
He repeats his apologies in his head.
He start questioning if Jason is attracted by omega. Did he accept this relationship because Kory was part of it at first? Did he keep it because deep down he is afraid of being alone? Or did Roy do or say something that makes Jason thinks he can’t share it with Roy?
He realizes he is waiting for Jason for too long when his stomach starts asking to be fulling.
Roy isn't surprised when he realizes that Jason run away. He is disappointed and terrified.
He hopes that their relationship isn’t over.
When Bruce walks in front of Jason’s old room door, he is not surprised when he smells his son’s odor.
Until he remembers that Jason’s smell changed drastically after … everything that happen after Ethiopia.
And he doesn’t smell only the faint old smell of his son, but also loud new Jason’s smell.
He frowns.
He doesn’t remember a time where Jason sleep in here since …
The rare time Jason sleep in the Manor, they open him a new room.
He opens carefully the door.
Jason is hiding, Bruce doesn't know how else describe it, under his sheet. His hairs aren’t visible.
“Jason?” He says quietly
He miss calling him Jaylad, but it feels wrong for now.
Jason groans but doesn’t move.
“Are you ok, Jason?
-I am here. What do you think, Greatest Detective in the World?
-That something really awful must happen to you if you came to your childhood den to have comfort.”
Jason scoff.
“I am here because no one will search me here.”
That’s still hurt to realize that one of his pups doesn’t feel safe in the Manor, that Jason is right when he say no one will search him here.
But worry hits him when he realizes that something awful happen.
“What happen?
-Like you care.
-I do! Jason, tell me what happen.
-Why? So you can make it all about yourself.
-What if I promise to shut up while you will take?”
Jason’s head perk up and he glares at Bruce, judging him.
“I shouldn’t have been resurrected.”
First shot and Jason aims directly to the heart.
Bruce wants to argue with Jason, yells at him for daring saying it.
But he recognizes this light in Jason’s eyes. He test him.
Bruce takes a deep breath, keeps his scent has calming and safe as possible.
“Why do you think that?
-Because it’s true. Jason says with vulnerability. I’m not a good alpha.”
Bruce frowns, doesn’t understand why Jason may think that. Jason never seems like the kind of people who care about what a second gender should be.
And Jason is a good alpha. He is protective of people he considers part of his pack, he is fearless warrior, he is a good provider. He is always more than happy to help and cook for everyone.
“You are a good person, Jason. Bruce tries hoping he doesn’t make Jason angry. So of course you’re a good alpha.
-You don’t understand.” Jason grumble and hide again
Bruce groans and rolls his eyes. And society think that omega are the moody one.
“I can’t understand if you don’t explain it to me.” Bruce argues
Per chance he promised to shut up. Jason will avoid the Manor again for at least a few weeks and Alfred will be super pissed at him.
There is a long silence where Bruce expect Jason too suddenly leave, even punches him. But finally Jason sit down and with spite simply says:
“You can’t be more ashamed of me and I am not your child anymore any way.”
Bruce immediately want to argue. Jason should talk to him because he feels safe and loved, not because their relationship is so bad that he have nothing to lose.
“I am a fucking faggot.” Jason drops
Bruce frowns. It is not a word Jason use and he does that now to qualify himself.
“Why did you say that?
-Because it’s true. I can’t be with Roy now that he knows.
-I don’t think that you cheated on him. And I was sure that you loved Ollies’s omega. So … what happen?”
Jason mumble something, his face tunrs red.
“Do you cheat on him?
-No! Of course no! I will never do that!
-Aren’t you in love with him? Do you want to be in relationship with an alpha?
-No! Jeez, Bruce, you have no idea how much I love him! He will break up with me anyway.”
Bruce tries to pick up the piece together but the clues don’t help him understand the situation.
“Roy will break up with you because you are not straight?
-Yes! An alpha that like take it in his ass, is not a real alpha, he is not a good mate!”
Bruce blinks rapidly. Like … what?
“Everyone knows that! Jason tries to defend himself
-Well everyone is stupid.”
Jason groans and get up.
“I don’t know what I was thinking, coming here.
-Jason please wait …
-No. I need to talk to Roy. Sooner the better. See you next time B.”
And just like that Jason leaves.
And just like that Bruce feels he let him down once again.
Jason doesn’t really know what he expect when he come back to his home.
Maybe Roy take this things and leave, blocking his phone number. Jason will understand if he does. But it’s not Roy’s style do to that.
“Roy.” He call hims
He doesn’t see him in the living room nor the kitchen.
Blushing he goes to their bedroom. Roy has tidy up his sex toy. Knowing that Roy clean them and put them back in their box is so embarrassing. Bu he doesn’t know if he could have endure seeing them spread out and dirty on his bed.
After looking in the bathroom, Jason is sure that Roy isn’t here, but his things are still there.
In desperation, Jason sit on the couch playing with his phone. He should apologies for using his alpha voices and running away, but what if Roy had blocked his phone number?
Damn, why can’t he have more self control?
He start thinking where could be Roy and who he should call if Roy really block him.
Suddenly the front door open and Roy appears.
“Yeah thanks. I already went there. Tell me if you …”
Roy finally see Jason and smile at him.
“No forget what I told you. It’s ok now. Yeah, I will call you later.”
Without letting Jason time to apologies, Roy sit down on the couch next to him.
“You came back. And only after a few hours.
-Yeah, I start getting better at that.”
There is a silence where neither of them don’t know what to say.
“I am sorry.”
Jason frowns and argues:
“You have nothing to apologies for…
-Of course! I should ask you if I can join you and not assume…
-Roy….please stop...It’s not for that I freak out…
-Is not?”
Jason shakes his head and takes a deep breath.
“I am the one you should apologies. I shouldn't use the alpha voice. It was a shitty thing to do and I am sorry.
-Honestly I was more surprised. I really freak you out didn’t I?
-No...I mean...sort of. But it’s not an excuse and I am sorry.
-What do you mean by “sort of”?”
Jason tuck his sleeve and bit his tongue.
“I never want you to see me like that.
-Like that?
-I really love you and want to be a good mate to you. I am sorry I disappointed you.
-Disappointed me? Hold on. Can we rewind?”
Roy stand up and start to pace trying to understand what’s going on since he came back from the mission.
“Ok so first thing first, did I like that you used you alpha voice? No, but I am not disappointed in you. And why shouldn’t I think that you aren’t a good mate?
-You saw what I did! I am a freak, you can tell it!
-What you did?”
Roy rethink what he saw in the room. The only thing he was disappointed it’s how it ended. He really feels blessed to have saw Jason so debauched playing with himself like that.
“The sex toy, Roy! Jason yells impatient blushing furiously. I put it in my ass!
-Oh yeah, that was really hot.
-What?
-I mean I would have loved participate of course. I am on board with that too. But I won’t be disappointed if you like doing it alone or only with alpha or male beta. You respect my limit, I will respect yours.
-You are not disgusted?
-Wow! How did we go to disappointed to disgusted? No I am neither of them.
-Really?
-Really.”
Jason feel like he can finally breath. When Roy sit down against him again, Jason kiss him tenderly. He start crying too, but he feels too much joy and relief.
“Are you alright?
-Yeah I’m good. I just … I just open about it only with one person, I was always so afraid to be see as less alpha. Thank you Roy.
-I love you Jason. I won’t think less of you because of that. But I still have some question.”
Jason sight but smile.
“Shoot.”
Roy takes Jason’s hand in his and look at him even if Jason avoid his eyes.
“Do you love omega? Roy finally ask
-Is that a trick to ask me if I love you?
-Maybe. Sort of. Do you?”
Jason finally look at him with so much sorrow, it provokes Roy a twinge.
“I do. Jason caress tenderly Roy’s cheek. More than any word or act can prove you.”
Damn Roy fall in love with Jason everyday.
They kiss slowly, tenderly. Things aren’t always easy but they are so happy they have found each other.
“I am sorry I make you doubt that.
-I am just glad we clear it up.”
They kiss again.
“Do you have anymore question?
-Well I have one more question in mind. Roy says playfully. Next you play with your dildo - you have a really impressive collection if I can say it -…
-Asshole.
-Can I participate or … at least watch it?”
Jason close his eyes and bites his lips but smiles.
His cheeks turn beautifully red.
“I really love the idea of you being a really active participant.
-But…?
-I had sex with just one alpha before and I never do more with anyone less. So I want it but … Can we take it slowly?
-Of course we can, baby.
-I may freak out again.
-You may. But it’s not a big deal. You are here for me, I am here for you. We are partner in every sense of the word.
-Love you.
-Love you too.
-By the way, who did you warn about my running away?
-Artemis and Bizarro.
-You realize they will kick my ass?
-Don’t worry my alpha. I will protect you.”
The end.