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The clock chimed twelve times in a row, signaling that it was now noon and no one has yet to see Tracy. She had no matches that day so one would have expected to find her in a spare room that she and Luca had turned into a little workshop, but alas she wasn’t there. She was nowhere to be found. Not many paid it any mind, most just left her to her own devices, but William wasn’t one of those people.
The man cared deeply for her, one could even say he had a bit of a crush on her – which he did – nevertheless he spent all his free time off from matches to look for her. By one-thirty he finally stood before a distant looking Tracy who had found herself a spot between the gnarled roots of one of the many trees within the manor’s gates. He was quiet for once, not uttering a word as he looked at the girl. She looked dead, eyes red but empty, mien void of emotion. Simply empty and numb.
William didn’t like that look, it worried him to no end. What was wrong with her? Well, he wasn’t aware but it was the tragic anniversary of her father’s death. Every year on this day Tracy lets go of herself and lets things go to shit. Why? Because the self-destructive habit was her way of letting out the pent up emotion she ignored until D day. It was her way of coping even if it wasn’t truly coping.
As he walked up to her she didn’t move or acknowledge him, she looked right through the man that now squatted in front of her. Will frowned at that, lifting a hand to cup her face and make her look him in the eye. That quickly backfired on him – Tracy ripped her head back and gritted her teeth in anger. “Don’t fucking touch me.” She sneered quickly.
He pulled away pretty damn fast, surprised with her snappiness. “O-okay?” He stuttered, looking away for a moment and rubbed the back of his neck, thinking of what to do. “Um… I can tell you’re not the happiest right now but can I ask what’s wrong?”
“Why ask for permission when you ask me anyways.” She retorted, pulling her legs up to her chest. “And I’m fine, just leave me alone.”
“Ah…” He cringed a little at the snippiness again, the idea of leaving her alone flitted through his mind before he stopped it there. Nothing more than a fleeting thought. She was a friend and he wasn’t just going to leave her alone to deal with whatever she was dealing with alone when it was obviously too big to deal with by herself. “You see, I don’t think I can do that.”
“Why not? I’m not some girl who needs saving all the time.” She hissed, wrapping her arms over her knees and burying her face in them. She hated that everyone thought her so fragile, she knew she was but she wanted to be treated like everyone else too. They couldn’t even trust her to kite on her own; Kevin always lassoing her to safety or someone diverting the hunter’s attention. The thought made her feel pathetic and useless, it made her angrier . “Just get out of my face. Go flirt with Ganji or Naib, or something. Stop focusing on me when you aren’t even a friend.”
Yeouch, that hurt. William felt a pang in his chest when the words left her lips, she didn’t know how much it would hurt him but she did as soon as the hurt filled his visage. She didn’t let it show though, she let it pass without a word and forced herself to look away. She couldn’t look at him, she’d break and beg him to forgive her.
“I don’t think you’re a girl who needs saving, but you aren’t alright. Don’t even try to tell me that you are, just listen okay?” He tried to give her a reassuring smile but it ended up being a weak and pathetic one. Trying again to cup her face in his large hands, he was successful this time. She was crying. “You’re not alone you know.”
“I know, but I feel so alone…” She sniffed, pulling away from him once more.
“Look, I know it can feel like that in a place like this but I promise that you have people here. Naib and I – hell, Luca and Norton are your closest friends! They’d be here if it weren’t for all their matches!” He pulled her into his arms, not letting go of her even when she tried to pull away.
“Will please, I’m not in the mood-” She started, tears filling her eyes- she knew she needed it though. Placing her hands on his chest she pushed, but he wasn’t budging an inch. Then she started to punch his chest, beating on him weakly as she began to weep. “Please… I don’t want to be weak anymore! I couldn’t save my dad! I can’t even save myself! I’m sick of it! He’s dead and it’s all my fault!”
She was almost inconsolable, her body shaking as the tears flowed uncontrollably. It finally dawned on the forward what’s been wrong all this time, what she was hiding from everyone else. Will let her get it all out, allowed her to finally feel her emotions no matter how painful they were. It took her about an hour to calm down, though the tears long since ran dry, and just leaned into the man limply.
“I’m sorry.” She murmured finally.
“Sorry for what?” He replied without a thought, now wedged in between the roots of the tree with her in his lap.
“For being unnecessarily rude to you. I didn’t mean it... I just wanted you to go away.” She began. “You are a friend to me, and I’m thankful that you are. I don’t deserve someone like you as a friend, or anything for that matter.”
The man sighed at that.
“Tracy, you know that’s not true. You deserve the world, you just made a mistake, we all do. You’re human.”
With that they both sat there quietly until it was time for dinner, each cleaning themselves up before entering the mess hall. That night Tracy fell asleep with no weight on her chest, in a timely fashion rather than staying up all night working on little projects.