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'Breathe in, breathe out', he reminded himself for what felt like the hundredth time, taking deep breaths as he looked at himself in the mirror. His dark, usually messy hair was done flat on his head. His eyes shined brightly with hope while a nervous smile hung on his face, no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't seem to get rid of it.
Today was the day. The day he'd propose to the love of his life.
It was normal to worry, right? Be nervous? Normal to be afraid of a no?
Chills were sent down his spine as he gripped the counter top, sighing quietly. "He won't say no..", he spoke softly, more or so trying to convince himself.
He looked back up at his reflection, taking in his appearance. He wore a light colored button up that clung to his body paired with black jeans that did just the same.
Leaving the bathroom he headed towards his room, their room, grabbing his phone to check the time. '6:26 pm'. Mafuyu should be home any moment. Everything was ready. He wanted to do something simple, sure of not to overwhelm his boyfriend, hopefully soon-to-be fiance. He was aware of how he got when there was too much to comprehend, too much emotions to take in. Mafuyu would shut down, his mind and soul leaving the world leaving a shell of a boy. That's what had happened after Yuki died, his previous boyfriend that he was so very in love with. But now he had Uenoyama and he seemed to be just as happy as said male. So a proposal was okay right?
Letting out another sigh, he adjusted his sleeves out of nervousness.
Come to think of it, they were both young. Just early 20's. But they had been together for a good amount of time now and the band was still running strong. Ue was sure this would just strengthen their bond! But what if Sato thought they were rushing it? What if he was never really over Yuki? What I'd he'd never loved Uenoyama like he did Yuki?
The worries cluttered his mind, leaving a heavy breathing Ritsuka as they fought the happy memories of him and his lover. God what he'd do to pause time and think more about this, to clean up the petals in the hallway by the front door, leading to the living room where he'd get on one knee and present a ring. But there was no time left. No time at all.
Because the door had unlocked, opened, and shut before he could even realize.
"Uenoyama-kun?", the quiet voice called out. The one that belonged to the boy he loved so much. The boy who had him wrapped around his finger, holding his heart in one hand. He could either cherish it or crush it, no matter which of the two he decided the taller male would be on his knees in obedience, watching the scene play out.
He didn't even notice his feet moving, exiting the bedroom and going straight to the living room. He could do this walk with his eyes shut, in his sleep, even blind and deaf.
"I'm in here.", he called out, his voice cracking mid sentence. The shuffling of shoes being kicked off and bags being dropped were heard. He reached for his pocket, feeling the ring.
That ring held not even a fraction of the love he felt, he just hoped Sato understood that.
A small laugh echoed in the room, a melody to his ears. "What's with all the petals, did I forget something important?", Mafuyu questioned, leaning against the wall with a tired grin.
Uenoyama shook his head. "No, I'm hoping to make this something special though."
The other boy tilted his head, confusion clear on his face.
The darker haired male took a deep breath. How would he explain this to Mafuyu? When did he know that this is what he wanted, that he wanted to propose?
Was it when he and Mafuyu had their first date? Or the way he saw the other react at dog shelter? Or maybe when they first exchanged ‘I love you’s?
No, it was definitely that one day on the peer, looking down on the beach just like they had when they first confessed.
“Uenoyama-kun?”
Said male turned to face the other, the slight gust of wind making his hair move messily. He watched as Sato focused intently on the waves crashing into the sand, mixing to create foggy sea water. “Yes?”
“You know..”, the boy with pink tinted hair started, pausing for a short amount of time before continuing. “You know how I told you about Yuki?”
He nodded slowly, every worry and insecurity he had once had about their relationship resurfacing. What if he’d never be good enough for Mafuyu? What if he could never win his heart like Yuki had? How could he even compete with a childhood best friend?
The questions seemed to take over his mind. Dark grays and blacks overpowering the pinks and yellows, the bad taking over the good, the anxiety conquering the love.
“When Yuki died I didn’t think I could ever love again. He was my everything my whole life. He helped me tell my mom about my abusive ‘father’. He helped me make friends. He even asked questions in class for me. So it was hard to imagine my life without him, especially when he was taken from me in the blink of an eye. All in the span of two days I lost all of him. I felt like a piece of me died with him, even to this day I feel like that. Like my strings were broken, no longer able to function, after he passed.” Mafuyu took a breath, turning to face Uenoyama with a soft smile, a rare show of emotions that seemed only his lover got to see. “I never thought I could love again until that day on the stairs when I met you. You fixed my guitar strings, along with my heart strings after strumming a simple note. Slowly I fell for you harder than I even fell for Yuki. I never would have guessed that was possible. You helped me accept everything. His passing, the fact that it was okay to struggle with my emotions, my fear of abandonment. I don’t think I’d be where I am without you, Ritsuka.”
He paused for just a moment before nodding, turning back to the sea. “Thank you for fixing my strings, Uenoyama.” He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand, sighing softly as if he had held that all in for far too long.
Uenoyama’s head may have been a mess but one thing was for sure. He couldn’t go on a day without Mafuyu Sato’s hand in his, their hearts tied together. He knew he would love him forever until death came and dragged him away.
That was the day Uenoyama was sure he’d ask Mafuyu to marry him in the future.
And it was the day where he was asking Mafuyu to marry him. And suddenly, he had forgotten every word that came to mind to express his love.
“I’m sorry I-”, he started, bringing a hand up to rub his temples. “I don’t know what to say..”
Sato squeezed the other’s bicep, smiling sweetly. “Take it slow, Uenoyama-kun. I’m in no rush.”
He was grateful for Mafuyu. They were always by one another's side, helping each other with the simplest problems. Ritsuka would calm Sato down after shows when the bright lights and screams would get to him, running his hands through his soft hair and whispering short words of praise. While on the other hand the pink tinted hair boy would help the darker haired boy continue to enjoy playing music, either by challenging him or just simply sitting in the room humming along. They were always together, they were happy together.
"I want to stay together,", Uenoyama started out. "Forever."
Mafuyu giggled just a bit, his eyes brightening at the sudden request. "Okay."
"You make me feel complete. You once said I taught you how to love again, well I never knew how to love before you. You've simply taught me that love exists. It's as crucial to life as leaves on a tree, soaking in the water and transporting it to the rest of the plant. You're crucial to my life. You soak in the happiness and fuel me with enough love for lifetimes. I wouldn't be able to play guitar anymore without you. I wouldn't be able to say I've loved someone without you. God Sato, if your heart was about to burst I'd give mine up in a blink of an eye just for you to survive." Uenoyama took a breath, his eyes glossy, about to overflow with tears. "I love you with every fiber of my being."
"Uenoyama-kun.."
"No wait, I'm not done." The dark haired male took another breath. This was it. This was the time. He got down on one knee, looking up at his lover. Blue eyes locked on amber eyes, both boys tears threatening to spill. "Mafuyu Sato-"
He reached for his pocket, pulling out the small box that just fit in the palm of his hand. He opened it slowly, his breath hitching. "I'm so in love with you that I want to spend every minute by your side. Maybe not physically cause that seems damn near impossible.. But emotionally. I'm so in love with you that I want you to be the only person I've ever loved for eternity. I'm so in love with you I want to put a ring on your finger and set a date for the whole world to know you're mine."
A soft sob escaped the other boy's mouth, his hand reaching to grip Ritsuka's shoulder. They never broke eye contact but Sato was trembling ever so slightly from the overwhelming emotion.
"I know you don't like crowds or things to be a big deal. We can have something small but I want us to be a big deal. I want you to know how much I love you. Because god do I love you."
"Uenoyama..", Mafuyu barely whispered. He got down on his knees, no longer able to support himself. "Ask the question, please."
The dark haired boy nodded. "Will you marry me?" He set the ring aside, using both hands to cup his boyfriend's cheeks and wipe away the tears.
The boy with the color scheme of a sunset wrapped his arms around the boy with the scheme of midnight's neck, pulling them both down to the ground. He buried his head in the crook of the other's neck, letting out a choked sob.
Uenoyama just wrapped his arms around his waist, rubbing circles on his hip to help him calm down.
"Yes.", Mafuyu mumbled into the skin, pulling away to make eye contact. "Of course I'll marry you."
Ue's eyes went wide before he engulfed his now fiancee into a hug, laughter spilling out of him as tears ran down his face. Worries that had recently resurfaced disappearing, bubbling out of him throughout the laughter. Mafuyu was just as far gone for him as he was for the other, why did he ever worry in the first place?
"I love you.", he whispered with a dopey smile. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
Mafuyu smiled, cupping Uenoyama's cheek. "And I love you, forever and always." He sealed his promise with a kiss. Their love for another no longer needing words, this small gesture being just enough.
They pulled apart just for the ring to be slipped on Sato's finger. It was simple with small diamonds around the band. It was simple yet so Mafuyu's style.
His eyes shine at the sight of the ring on his finger, quickly looking back up at the blue eyes that he loved. They sat there on their living room floor, flower petals circling them, with goofy grins.
Uenoyama would never worry about where Mafuyu's love lied again, now certain that Sato was his and only his..