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As far as jimin remembers, he had always been by Yoongi's side. Directly or indirectly. Their parents were friends which inherently made them friends, later turning into best friends with vows that if both of them were single by the age of 40, they would marry eachother.
This gave a way for countless inappropriate 'homie' jokes and also some very funny marriage talks. But at the end of the day, they were jokes. Nothing more, nothing less.
When Yoongi finally entered highschool, he started having his own friend circle. It wasn't as if he no longer talked with Jimin, he just talked less. Jimin had his own circle as well, never feeling left out. Sometimes the circles overlapped, most times they didn't. And quite frankly it was okay.
Yoongi had Seokjin, Namjoon and Hoseok while Jimin had Taehyung and Jungkook. And while both groups had done some questionable things, Jimin acknowledged that both the circle were quite honestly okay... He would even go far as to say above average in almost every terms.
The separation of friend group never stopped them from having small talks or tiny giggles though. And for Jimin, that was enough.
Small talks and tiny giggles, passing eye contacts on the hallway, greetings in the morning and teeny teasings or bickerings here and there.
For Jimin, they were small moments of happiness. Not something that made his day, but definitely something that brightened one.
To Jimin, Yoongi had always been a piece of happiness. A piece of something terribly close to his heart. Something so bright and so very precious.
But all of his friends were part of his happiness, so Jimin never really did question Yoongi's place in his life. Never saw him as anything special cause he never was anything special. A childhood friend, yes but that was about it.
That was supposed to be it.
Until one day during his second year of university, Yoongi comes along, blush high on his cheeks with sparkling eyes looking so soft and pretty and confesses...
"Jimin-ah... I know this is somewhat out of the blue but I have been thinking. I really like you"
"Like me...?"
"Mhm... Like you. In a romantic way. In a want to marry you—"
and Jimin blows it up.
"Hyung, don't joke. We are in our twenties, not even thirties. We promised only on our forties. Not now."
"Jiminie—"
"No."
It was a rejection. A stone, cold rejection. Anyone could have told Yoongi that but no one needed to. Yoongi was smart enough to understand, and he did.
He understood the rejection, plain and simple. The confession was not to even be finished but he didn't push. Because Yoongi never pushes Jimin into something he doesn't want.
"Don't worry. Hyung is still your friend. Nothing is gonna change. Jiminie is still Jiminie. And I am still me. "
That day, Yoongi left with those words, tears clinging on his eyelashes as he pathetically tried to keep the smile on his face. He patted Jimin's head at a desperate attempt to make Jimin understand. And then he ran, his back turned to Jimin.
That was the first time Yoongi had hid his tears and Jimin knew they would never go back to being what they were.
But Jimin could live with that. After all Yoongi was his childhood friend, and no matter what, they would still be friends. Yoongi said so. He promised so.
They did go back to their normal eventually after some days. Bickering, teasing and an immense amount of respect for one another with no hostility whatsoever.
And while everything looked so normal and so perfect to the point no one noticed, a small line had been drawn by Yoongi. It wasn't much really. Jimin shouldn't have noticed it in the first place but he did. Of course he did.
The glances he got from Yoongi had decreased. Yoongi no longer looked back at Jimin when Jimin looked at him. The cat-likes eyes didn't smile at him from across the room, rather crinkled at people infront of them. He no longer got a nose scrunch, no longer a conversation held from across, was no longer in Yoongi's vision.
The hugs he got were shorter. They weren't warm enough, weren't long enough. Yoongi didn't put his head on Jimin's shoulder, didn't close his eyes with a sigh. He didn't tug on Jimin's clothing and smile on his neck. There weren't any small whisper nor were there any laughters. Yoongi just came in, hugged with a pat on his back and left.
His hands were left alone. No longer were there five fingers constantly tugging, no longer was there a hand desperate for holding. His sleeves were not being played with and his hands were rather cold. He even missed the sting when Yoongi would jokingly slap the back.
Random calls and messages had stopped. He stopped getting pictures of street dogs and orange skies, weird looking rocks and random lighting fixtures on the streets. He stopped getting calls for spontaneous meals or junk food, for life changing talks and mid life crisis. The talks were short if there was any, large space of nothing filled in between the lines spoken.
But more than anything, the stares from Yoongi had changed. While Yoongi still looked at him with such endearment and affection, shades of caution circled across his orbs. Yoongi still smiled at him, but never for long anymore. Yoongi still sat next to him, but left a much larger space. Yoongi still talked with him, but always in facts.
They were subtle changes. Changes no one really noticed. Changes no one noticed cause this was how he acted with everyone else.
But Jimin caught on very early. And anytime the growing line appeared, Jimin's heart squeezed a little.
And Yoongi's heart did too. But even if it did, the gentle smile on Yoongi's face never left.
And maybe, just maybe that made Jimin's heart hurt alittle more.
***
Two months with the line firmly placed, Jimin started getting used to the short hugs, started getting used to the cold, used to the lack of phone calls, used to the distance.
Yoongi hadn't broken his promise. They were still them, they were still friends.
But that's all they were. Friends.
Yoongi treated Jimin how he treated everyone else, how he treated each one of his friend. Gentle, caring and so very delicate. But the lack of... something or more so, the presence of the distance made Jimin go mad with longing.
Longing for...
For...
For what?
Jimin couldn't put his finger on it. He couldn't understand what was missing, couldn't understand what he was wanting and it was driving him crazy.
Crazy enough to gaze at Yoongi long enough to memorise him entirely.
Yoongi had soft angles, never a harsh line on his face. Cat-like eye that were outlined with long lashes, a cute button nose that fit perfectly. Yoongi was pink. His hands, his face, the tip of his ears, they were all pink. But his lips, there were the most pink out of them all.
Yoongi had a mole on his cheeks and smaller one on his nose. A mole on his neck and Jimin, Jimin wonders how he never realized just how pretty Yoongi really is.
Soft, pretty Yoongi who looks ethereal no matter what. The sun makes him shine, the moon makes him glow, the little starlight gives way to his delicate face.
Jimin wonders how he never took Yoongi face on his hand and examined every curve of his, wonders how his eyes never wandered and fixed itself on his lips, wonders how he never had an urge to just kiss him on each of his beauty marks.
Jimin wonders alot of things as he looks upon Yoongi across the room as his smile lights up the atmosphere around him.
And in flash of the moment as Yoongi laughs with happiness reaching the crinkle of his eyes, Jimin realizes he longs for Yoongi.
Has always been longing for Yoongi.
He realizes that his eyes have wandered and fixed itself, never moving after. Realizes that he stopped himself countless times before he ever reached Yoongi, realizes he has always been drinking off on the comfort that is Yoongi and realizes that he is so drunk. So addicted and so enamoured.
Jimin finally understands that he never wanted more with Yoongi because he already had everything. Labeled with friendship, yes but everything he could have ever wanted was in that relationship.
He takes a step towards Yoongi, a new desire taking shape in his heart rapidly naming itself something along the lines of love.
But just as he approaches him, harsh lines appear.
Yoongi looks at him with a smile, a smile made for everyone around. He talks with Jimin in polite manner, some teasing here and there but nothing that even touches the said line. He hugs Jimin the same way he hugs everyone else and then leaves the room without turning back.
And Jimin just stands there as he realizes fate he has subjected himself to. As he finally takes in the label that really is, friends.
***
As Jimin finally names his own feelings, he also starts to be more aware of everything around him. Everything around him that includes heaps of people randomly falling for Yoongi left and right.
Everyone around looks at the guy with absolute heart eyes. Everyone around seems to be either in love with him or the atmosphere he creates. Everyone seems to be painfully aware of just how delicately pretty Min Yoongi is.
And Jimin feels like an absolute moron.
Taking years and years to actually put into words just how armoured he is by Yoongi, just how much his heart and soul desires the guy. He feels like an idiot.
"And rightfully so. " as Taehyung stated.
After a week of absolute torture, he finally comes clean to his friends who look at him with pure glee and happiness later turning into looks of horror as the story progresses. Jungkook gives up somewhere near the end as Taehyung just looks at Jimin, absoultely blank.
"So what are you going to do...?" Jungkook asks, hesitantly.
And Jimin, quite frankly doesn't know. He wants Yoongi. Wants to be next to him, to cuddle him, to hug and hold him, to kiss him.
But he is scared.
Scared of the unknown, of the unexpected. He is scared for the future of their friendship and their relationship as a whole without labels. He is so scared of everything that will entail on his one decision.
So he sits there with no answer as his head swims with the thoughts of Yoongi and his hearts aches with regret and helplessness.
***
Staying still without trying anything was probably a bad idea.
"So hyung has a date now!"
Oh, It was definitely a bad idea.
The words from Namjoon repeated itself on his head again and again, disabling him to do anything at all.
Yoongi was going on a date. A date with a random stranger, given he had heard that the said random stranger was absolutely gorgeous and totally in love but yet, a random stranger. Funnily enough, the last time Jimin remembers Yoongi even mentioning the word is back 5 years ago or so.
Any other time, he would have jumped with joy. But as of right now, he is slouched with despair.
"Jimin, if you're gonna act, you have to act now!"
And yes, absolutely. If he wanted to ever say anything to Yoongi, it would have to be now. But what was he supposed to do?
Steal his date?
"Steal his date."
It was Jungkook, Jungkook and his stupidly wide eyes that were fired up. "I will call Namjoon hyung and Hoseok hyung to distract Yoongi hyung for sometime. Taehyung hyung can call Seokjin hyung and get you things ready and you go in and talk with Yoongi hyung! We will leave you two alone."
"Kook—"
"Jimin this might really be your last opening. Do you really wanna take the chance?" Taehyung speaks up "For all we know, Hyung might still have feelings for you. Changes happen all the time! If you don't push now, you will forever regret and wallow on what ifs. At least if you get it over with, you will have a concrete answer. "
"And we all know, if anyone its Yoongi hyung who will still want to be friends with you" Jungkook finishes.
And if his flight or fight instinct hadn't kicked in, Jimin would have started wailing to his friends.
***
"Wait! So you like Yoongi?!"
"This is so not the time!"
"What do you mean 'Not the time'?"
"We need to help him!"
"Help him, my ass. Yoongi was getting drunk on sadness till just yesterday, I ain't helping shit!"
"If you don't help him, he is gonna be more sad."
"Oh no. Okay I will help him."
That was basically the summary of an entire two hour long conversation between Seokjin, Namjoon, Hoseok and Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook.
And while it was chaos, it was worth it as they finally succeeded in getting them to help.
***
"Yoongi hyung is exiting the coffee shop! He is going towards the Han river. I repeat he is heading towards the Han river!"
Namjoon hyung and Hoseok hyung were following Yoongi as Jimin got ready to meet up with him. He had no idea why the communication was the way it was though. "Hyung, I am literally right beside you. You don't have to announce that!" Jimin whispered.
Just on time though, Yoongi turns around looking suspicious as he eyes all three of them out in the open with absolute moronic disguises. And just as he sees Yoongi open his mouth, he hears a "Okay gotta go water my dog" from somewhere behind him. He is pretty sure it's Hoseok.
And that's how he is left alone with Yoongi in middle of the street. He was supposed to meet up with him on the park a block south from there.
And while Jimin is so very nervous and sweating from all the anxiety, Yoongi looks beautiful and so very angelic under the sunset light.
"So... how are you?" Jimin asks lamely trying to get things under control although they clearly aren't.
But Yoongi, sweet Yoongi plays along and nods "I am good. How are you?"to which Jimin squeaks out a response of "I am good!".
The scene looks stupid, stupidly funny, funny enough for Yoongi to start laughing and funny enough to actually put the strange atmosphere on hold.
"So what are you doing?" Yoongi asks with purpose as he finally stops his laughter and Jimin comes back to the reality. A reality that doesn't seem as dim as it was three minutes ago.
"Just ... you know." He replies to which he gets an eyebrow raise and a look saying "no, I don't."
"Forget all that hyung, how did you turn around so fast?" Jimin throws a bait, desperate for a change of topic and Yoongi takes it "You guys weren't exactly silent. I could hear you all from the coffee shop. Joonie and Hobi were talking as if they were on Swat. I was confused."
And now that Jimin thinks about it, it really must have been confusing. Confusing as three of your friends dressed wack to be following talking all shady.
"Why didn't you say anything then?!"
"You guys were so engrossed in the roleplay! I didn't want to ruin your fun. "
And small moments, small gestures as this makes Yoongi who he really is. So Jimin just hums in response, silently asking for Yoongi to follow him which he does without any questions.
He goes up on the park in silence, his heart pounding on his ears making the silence echo. He turns around finally as he spots a bouquet of flower on a bench (courtesy of Jin) and asks Yoongi to sit.
"On the flower?" Yoongi replies cheekily as he gives a smug smile and Jimin can't help but laugh with absolute adoration. "No, not on the flower. Your butt will crush them!"
Jimin picks up the bouquet of flower and hands them over to Yoongi, as Yoongi takes them with some hesitation, he looks at Jimin with questions on his eyes, urging him to speak.
And Jimin in all honesty is speechless but forces himself to nevertheless. This might after all be the last time he says this.
"Yoongi." He starts off, the name rolling off of his tongue "I have been thinking, been thinking alot about you, about us. And this seems totally dumb after three months ago but... I hope you understand when I tell you, I like you."
And Yoongi is looking at him wide eyed, his face a shade of cherry blossoms, his mouth slightly a gape. Jimin can't help but let out a little smile.
"But you..." Yoongi starts only to trail off. And jimin waits, patiently for Yoongi to speak once again.
"You said no..."
A whisper, barely above the sound of the winds. And Jimin heart aches as he hears the heartbreak laced within those words. Maybe it is the heartache that propels Jimin to take Yoongi's tiny frame within his arms.
"I know." Jimin whispers back. "I know, I said no and I am sorry. I am sorry for being a coward. And I am sorry for the heart aches, I am sorry to ever make you think I didn't want you but Yoongi, I want you, wanted you. So desperately. "
"But you said no."
And Jimin feels alittle helpless, alittle stupid. But more than anything, he feels desperate. "I am sorry..." and yet all he can reply is an apology.
"You don't have to pity me. " He hears a small voice and maybe on instincts, his arms tighten around Yoongi. "I am not pitying you, I like you. Like you alot."
"Hyung, my heart beats out of control in your thoughts, my thoughts gets jumbled without you. It gets cold and lonely, dim and depressing. My eyes follow you wherever you go, the world starts to lose color when you're not around. The summer seems too hot, the winter chills gets too unbearable. The thought of waiting till 40 to marry you kills me. I really really like you— fuck that. I love you."
"Jiminie.."
"And I am sorry. I am sorry I was a coward who couldn't see what I wanted, I am sorry for not being able to give you what you deserved. And I am so sorry for rejecting you back then, not even giving a thought into answering. And there are no excuse for that but I was so scared, so scared you would run away and turn your back to me, I was so scared our relationship would change and you would get sick of me. And I am still so scared of everything but I can't bear to lose you, can't bear to see you looking at anyone else the way you looked me. Please take me back."
And Jimin is crying, his tears finally finding its way to his cheeks flowing freely. But so is Yoongi. The little sobs and whimpers from both covering the silence on the park. Their hug getting more desperate as each tries to hold the other tighter.
They stay that way for a while. Until the night lamp turns on and the sounds of crickets starts to take over the silence of evening.
"You know I still love you right?" Yoongi speaks first and Jimin's heart does a little flip flop and stops at the same time. He doesn't know how that's even possible.
"Hyung, I love you alot." Jimin whispers back, his hold on Yoongi not lessening. His eyes welling up again.
"Then take me?" Yoongi finally says after a moment of silence and Jimin takes a moment to register. A moment to indulge, a moment to accept.
Yoongi actually wants him back, even after everything. Yoongi still wants him. And Jimin could cry from happiness— he actually does cry from happiness.
"Hyung, it would be my pleasure." Jimin says as he finally opens his arms to look at Yoongi as he kisses the older firmly on his forehead.
"By the way, the flowers are crushed... and it wanst even beacuse of my butt " Yoongi pouts jokingly and Jimin giggles at the small pucker of his pink lips.
"Its okay. I will buy you new ones. They weren't even roses cause I couldn't get them at the middle of the day." Jimin replies looking back at his day time shenanigans and smiles a little at the absolute chaos he caused while looking for flowers.
"But I like them..." Yoongi complains and Jimin laughs alittle "We can still keep them on a vase. Take care of them."
As Yoongi huffs, Jimin finally let's go of Yoongi.
"I have something else to give you. " Jimin starts again " it's not much, it's not anything at all to be completely honest but it's a promise." He says as he takes out a ring.
And Yoongi bursts out in giggles "Its a pop ring!"
And infact, it was a pop ring.
"I will get you something more when I have money in the future but till then, stay with me?"
And it seems like a proposal, feels like a proposal. But it feels alot like beginning as well, alot like happiness and pure joy. So much so that Yoongi tear up once again as he looks at the gentle smile on Jimin, the adoration and the absolute love filled to the brim on those orbs of his.
"Jiminie, I will always stay with you. Even after you rejected me, I was gonna stay single and wait till my fourties." Yoongi giggles as he puts the ring pop on his ring finger and Jimin smiles as he sees the big candy ring sparkling.
"I don't think I could have waited till 40 to marry you sweetheart." Jimin finally lets it out as he slowly and softly kisses Yoongi for the first time.
***
"So did it work?" Namjoon asks as he looks up from his ramen.
"Yep." Seokjin answers "Alittle too well. They were talking about how their future kisses will taste like so we left."
Hoseok makes a look of disgust as Taehyung chokes on his food. Namjoon looks as he completely understands those words.
Jungkook follows behind Seokjin and takes another seat " They were so sappy. They were like 'I hope out future tastes like all kinds of happiness'. I was about to faint."
"Well at least they are happy. " Taehyung squeaks out as Hoseok adds with a whisper "It was a great idea to fool Jimin into thinking Yoongi accepted a date."
And indeed it was. At least the five of them didn't have to wait another twenty years for a talk of serious marriage invitation.
*****