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Dearest readers!
Rita Skeeter here, delivering you all the glorious gossip from among the budding flowers. That’s right readers, spring is here, which means the social elite are out in search of their royal honey .
And do I have some juicy nectar for you folks! Buzz among the bees is: our two most eligible bachelors were spotted in a narrow passage just outside Diagon Alley, with more than lips-and-limbs entwined!! According to our sources, the notorious Draco Malfoy was seen doing incredibly lewd things to— the —Harry Potter. Speculation believes it’s possible the former Death Eater has reverted back to his old ways, and placed some Dark Spell to exert his will.
Sources close to the bachelors say it’s nothing of the sort, and that the two have been hiding their burgeoning relationship on purpose. The same source also states that discussions have been had and that friends and family are thrilled that both could find happiness with each other.
As for this reporter, Readers can be assured that I will be following the story as close as-
“Dammit. Harry, we need to get some bug deterrent. She’s going to be following us. Again."