Chapter Text
Jennifer was sitting on the grass with her notebook on her lap. She was playing with a lock of her hair while trying to solve an equation, but she hated math, and math definitely did not like her. After more than ten minutes, she gave up and, in a theatrical move, laid on her back and slammed the notebook on her face as she closed her eyes. She was exhausted, she needed to rest a little, and maybe when she’d wake up the equation would actually make sense.
She let her mind wander, trying to let go of all of the stress of school, her family, everything. She was feeling at peace. She could hear a dog playing in the lake and a few conversations of people passing by. She liked that place, it was where she had her first date with Emily Jones three months ago. They had been together ever since, she couldn’t wish for a better love story. They had met a few weeks before that, Emily was the new girl in school. She was cool and smart, it didn’t take a long time for the teenager to fall for her.
The voice of her girlfriend brought her back to reality. “What are you doing here?”
Jennifer didn’t open her eyes, she just answered. “Waiting for my beautiful girlfriend but she’s late so I’m planning on ignoring her”
“Great plan. Is it working?”
“Not really”. The blond teenager smiled as she opened her eyes and closed her notebook. But something didn’t feel right, her girlfriend had traded her usual black jeans for sweatpants, a white shirt had replaced her favorite crop-top and her eyes were red. Jennifer stopped smiling and sat back up, inviting her girlfriend to do the same.
“Emily? Are you okay?” She was worried, she had never seen her like this.
Emily sat down next to Jennifer. “No, I’m not”
“Talk to me”
“I have something to tell you, and you’re probably going to hate me, and I won’t blame you”. Emily was looking at the lake, not meeting her girlfriend’s worried look.
Jennifer’s mind started spiralling, trying to think about what Emily could have possibly done that could make her hate her. “What’s going on?” Her voice was shaking.
“I- You know how my mother travels a lot?”
“Yes?” Jennifer was still lost but her heart started racing.
“Listen, I hate that more than anything, and I hate that I have to tell you that now…”
Jennifer couldn’t just stand still, her mind was already giving her the worst cases scenarios, she needed to know. “Okay Emily, tell me what? Please just tell me I’m dying over here”. Jennifer gently put her hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder.
“I’m moving to France next week”. The brunette just blurred it out, she was still fixated on the lake, scared to look at Jennifer, terrified to see the look on her face. She felt the hand leave her shoulder and fall numb on the grass.
Jennifer was speechless, she couldn’t believe what she had just heard.
“Jen, please say something” Emily finally turned around to look at her girlfriend. She was crying.
“What do you want me to say?” Jennifer’s tone was harsh.
“Something? Anything?”
Jennifer’s heart sank, she tried to make sense out of what her girlfriend had just said, but everything was just blurry, including her vision. Without even thinking, she did the only thing she could do. She left.
Emily immediately ran after her “Jennifer wait! I wish I could stay, but my mother-“
Her girlfriend suddenly turned around, tears were rolling down her cheeks “I know! I know it’s your mother, but this is not fair! It’s not fair Em”
“You-“ Emily tried to say something, but Jennifer interrupted her.
“I’m in love with you Emily, how could you do that to me?” Jennifer tried to catch her breath, her sobs made it hard for her to keep talking. “This is the first time I’ve fallen in love with someone, I came out to everyone even though I was terrified, but it was because I knew you were by my side, and now you’re leaving me alone here? That’s not fair Emily”
“I know-“ tried to say Emily but Jennifer interrupted her once again.
“You promised me” She tried to dry her tears, but new ones kept coming, so she gave up “I asked you if you were just passing by, you told me you were staying here for good, or at least until the end of high school. I told you I didn’t want to fall for you just for you to abandon me, I asked you and you promised you weren’t going anywhere.”
“I know baby, I’m sorry”.
Jennifer was looking at the ground but Emily gently lifted up her head, putting two fingers under her chin. “Look at me, I’m sorry”.
Jennifer’s chin was trembling.
Emily pulled her closer to hug her. At first, her girlfriend tried to push her away, she didn’t want that, because she knew it meant goodbye and it was the last thing she wanted. But she eventually gave in and buried her head in Emily’s neck and smelled her perfume. She had always loved that smell, a mix of vanilla and coconut. That smell always meant she was safe, at home, far from everything, it always felt like they were the only the persons left on earth. She hugged the brunette as tight as she could and whispered in her ear “don’t go”. Her tone seemed desperate, and Emily’s heart broke even more when she felt a single tear fall on her neck. “I’m sorry”.
Jennifer used to like that place, it was the place where she had her first date with Emily Jones three months ago, and now it was also the place where Emily Jones had broken her teenage heart, which was something she would never forget.
Elizabeth Bowen once said “First love, with its frantic haughty imagination, sings its object clear of the every day, over the rut of living, making him all looks, silences, gestures, attitudes, a burning phrase with no context”.