Chapter Text
“I don’t remember exactly when this first happened. I know it did at some point, but if feels like the forever has passed already. It just… always had been with me.” – the first page of a simple diary begins. At first it might look like the author is trying to share some kind of an experience or feeling, but this is not exactly what’s happening. That’s why it sounds like it. The author is quiet careful with the words. He knows exactly what people like to read and what they don’t. It’s a distraction for a bigger thing.
And the distraction worked perfectly. For people who like to burst into personal space this wasn’t new. They thought it’s gonna be another overly-dramatic story of a poor child having something throughout his life. And in some way, it was true. Mostly. Except… Nothing can be that easy when it comes to having secrets.
Tommy did have a secret. And, of course, it was his diary people tried looking in. No matter how hard he tried hiding it, they could always find a way to it. So, he had to put kind of a security on it. He stopped hiding it. Thought it was unnecessary. They’ll still find it, so what’s the point? There had to be another way.
And he found it. He found a perfect solution. If the rat is interested in something, change its’ mind. Turn the tables, prove it otherwise. And it will leave.
The diary became his own untouchable secret-keeping thing that he can turn to when needed. Bold of him to assume it would stay like this forever.
There is another problem than just rats. It is a very disappointing quality of any secret. It has to come out eventually, regardless, if you want it or not. No one can keep a secret for too long.
So did happen to Tommy.
After the revival he immediately wrote Puffy a note. Tommy was glad to see that she cares. She hugged him tight and asked tons of questions about what happened. The boy didn’t answer a lot, but the answers were enough to understand how hurt he was.
Puffy was never stupid. She was loving, caring and understanding, but far from stupid. She was the first who sensed something wrong. Tommy was zoning out a lot, sometimes he couldn’t hear her from a very short distance, talked to himself, didn’t understand her and acted a bit violent. That day she let him go, thinking, that if it would be a problem, the teen would come by himself. And he did. One day, Tommy appeared right in front of her house, saying: “I have something to tell you.”
“They might’ve become louder because of the revival, I suppose.” Captain said, running her hand through his hair. The woman knew the movement calms Tommy down a little. “Like, when you were brought back, your mind came out as vulnerable, also considering your current mental state…” She paused, looking at the boy. “It is just not as strong as before and needs regenerating.”
“And how long might it take to regenerate?” he asked.
“That’s what I also would like to know.”
The teenager sighed. “I’m not sure if I’m gonna be able to ignore them. Now I understand how Technoblade feels.”
Puffy’s eyes widened. Right. There is a person on this server who can help. The person, who shares the same problem. Who can explain how they work and how to put them down.
After Tommy left, Captain couldn’t get the idea off her head. She knew two things at this point. First: Tommy is suffering and may hurt himself on purpose. However, it’s most likely he wouldn’t, since the boy is awfully scared of taking any kind of damage. Plus, he wouldn’t like to die anyway. One time was enough. And second: there is a man that can help. The only issue was in convincing him to do it.
She sighed deeply. She knew she had to do something. Tommy would not be able to deal with such thing alone. If even Technoblade, the Technoblade, struggles, then how could Tommy.
Late at night the woman packed her things and left her home. By what others and her own experience say, she should be at Techno’s by morning. Stepping on the hard ground, she thought of an excuse to not exactly tell the reason of her sudden appearance. An idea bumped into her head. “Perfect.” she thought.
Cold snow covered her feet, but she couldn’t feel the coldness of it. And not because of warm clothes on her. The adrenaline. The adrenaline was the cause. Puffy was scared, at least for now, but didn’t feel it. Her own mind took all her emotions and threw them like garbage, froze them to death. Captain was getting closer, and closer, and closer.
The bell rings. A persistent knock is heard. Slight “Coming!” is answering. The door opens.
“Puffy?”
“Technoblade.”
They both look into each other’s eyes for a second.
“Why are you-”
"I have a question.”
Techno stared at her.
“Okay, ask away.”
The woman gulped. You are doing this for Tommy. A final sigh and a quiet stare.
“How do you deal with the voices?”