Chapter Text
It was them again.
How many times had they appeared in his dreams this week?
Tartaglia sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he glanced around. His eyebrows were knitted together tightly. More than anything, the ginger looked... Annoyed. He rubbed his face with his hands, and sighed.
He was being plagued by pale blonde hair and golden eyes, nearly every night, in his dreams.
This girl, who he had known for perhaps two months, wouldn't leave his mind.
He had lost track of how many times Lumine appeared to him. Sometimes the dreams were the same, and sometimes they were different. Tonight in particular, he had dreamed of seeing her standing atop a rock, staring out at the sunset. When they turned to look at him, their eyes sparkled. And they smiled. When he took a step towards her, though, the ground cut off. He couldn't reach her.
Then, he woke up.
He couldn't understand why they continued to appear to him so frequently.
If it weren't for the fact that his most common dream was of their battle at the Golden House, maybe he wouldn't have been able to brush off his feelings so easily.
It had to be admiration.
He admired them so.
Their determination, their skill in battle, it was all so admirable. That's what it had to be.
Her face appearing to him every night, her eyes haunting him like a phantom, her laugh echoing in his ears like steady church bells. It all had to mean that he admired her. At least, that's what he chalked it up to.
Whatever it was, he hadn't the time to dwell on it. Ajax looked out the window, to see that the sun was already coming up. It was time for him to start the day.
Every Saturday, for at least a month and a half now, Childe and Lumine had been meeting in order to spar and train together. He always seemed to look forward to it, honestly.
The man stood up, and began to put himself together, in preparation to start the day. Today, they'd be meeting at Jueyun Karst. He dressed himself, and set on his way.
It wasn't long before he arrived at the place they discussed meeting. When he approached, Lumine noticed him, and turned to wave. It as then he noticed the man standing beside her, Zhongli. That wasn't something he remembered agreeing to.
Childe stopped in front of the smaller girl, craning his neck to look down at them, before he turned his attention to Zhongli.
"I don't remember you mentioning Zhongli would be here, Ojou-Chan." Lumine rolled her eyes a bit at the nickname.
"Zhongli is here to help, he's going to provide us with obstacles while we spar. Are you up to the challenge?"
There was a competitive glint in their eyes, and it made Childe's heart skip a beat.
He could do nothing but grin, and nod enthusiastically, letting out a hearty laugh and proclaiming; "you're on".
Time passed quicker than Childe expected it to. While he and Lumine trained, Zhongli would stand at the sidelines, and provide geo obstacles that the two would have to dodge while still trying to get at one another.
When the sun had reached its highest point in the sky, Lumine suggested they take a break. Of course, Ajax agreed.
While Childe had set himself up on a rock, his legs spread with his elbows rested on his knees, Lumine had wandered a small ways away. She was seated by a small pond. Her hair shone, and gently fluttered in the soft breeze, framing her delicate face. She was quietly admiring a Calla Lily, while Ajax admired her.
Zhongli approached, and when he cleared his throat, it forced Childe to tear his attention from the woman. Rex Lapis took a seat nearby, on a different rock. There was a bit of a hush that fell over the two men, just for a moment. It was Zhongli who first spoke up.
"So, about Lumine," he commented, causing Childe to sit a bit straighter.
"Yeah, what about them?" he asked in return, arching an eyebrow and looking at the god inquisitively. Zhongli sighed, shaking his head.
"There's something special about them, wouldn't you say so?" Childe was quick to nod.
"Oh, without a doubt. They're incredibly powerful, aren't they? I truly admire their resolve, and how they never hold back at all, even during training." Zhongli was silent for a moment.
"Admire? That's the word you choose to describe them? When you look at her the way you do?" Childe looked startled, and confused.
"I don't think I understand what you mean." Zhongli scoffed.
"Surely you're joking. Can you not tell the difference between admiration and adoration? Are you really that clueless about your own emotions?" Childe stiffened, furrowing his eyebrows as he glared at the man sitting beside him.
"What are you trying to get at?"
"I don't mean to be harsh, Childe." Zhongli held up his hands in mock surrender. "But do you truly think there's nothing special about the way you see them? Nothing truly special? That can't be, I see the way you look at her." Childe blinked.
"What do you mean by that?" Zhongli thought for a moment.
"You look at her like she is something beautiful, and perfect. Like she's something precious that you can never touch."
Childe opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted by Lumine coming back over. The traveler, who had been just out of earshot that entire conversation, had come to ask if Childe wanted to start training again. And, Ajax was quick to agree.
When the day finished, and it was time for both of them to head back, Lumine trotted over, a wide smile plastered on their face.
"Hey, Childe, wanna walk together? At least until we have to part ways." Ajax couldn't seem to help but grin.
"Of course, Ojou-Chan," he replied happily, nodding as the two set off together.
The walk was quiet. Both of them seemed to be off in their own little world.
Who knows what Lumine was thinking about. Maybe their daily commissions for the next day. Maybe finding their brother.
Childe, on the other hand, was lost deep in thought.
What did Zhongli mean by the difference between admiration and adoration? Was there even a noteworthy difference?
No, he knew there was a difference. Admiration was looking up to someone. Thinking highly of, and respecting them. But adoration? That's a very powerful word. What was Zhongli trying to imply by saying that Childe adored Lumine? He didn't adore anyone, save for his siblings.
There was no room for him to.
But what stuck out to him, more than anything, was how the god described the way he looked at Lumine. Something precious that he could never touch? Talk about dramatic. He didn't look at her like that. Did he?
...
No, there was a particular way that he looked at them, wasn't there? Normal admiration shouldn't consist of her face in his dreams every time he closed his eyes. That was something more than admiration.
Maybe Zhongli was onto something. Maybe the god had picked up on his emotions before even he could. But, that came to no surprise. Ajax had never been the best at feelings.
Especially not love.
That's what it was, wasn't it?
Why had it taken him all this time to realize that he was in love with them?
God, was he a bumbling fool.
"Childe? Hey, Childe?"
Ajax was shaken from his thoughts at the sound of Lumine's voice. He looked down at them, and blinked. They looked... Almost concerned?
"What's up, Ojou-Chan?" he asked non-chalantly. Lumine peered at him for a moment.
"I've been calling your name for nearly two minutes, that's what's up." they huffed, shaking their head. Childe let out a soft, slightly high pitched laugh, as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Were you? Sorry, Lumi. I've just been thinking, I suppose."
"Thinking? About what?" Childe paused.
"What are your thoughts on relationships? Like, romantic ones. Just out of curiosity."
He really just went there, didn't he?
Lumine was quiet for a moment.
"Honestly, I've had romantic feelings for a lot of people on my travels." Lumine admitted. Childe felt his heart sink to his stomach.
"Is that so? So, why not go through with anything? Somebody as pretty as you shouldn't be single, you know." Lumine sighed.
"I don't have the time or the energy for it, Childe. I can't let stupid feelings get in my way." When she looked up at Ajax, and her eyes met his, he felt his blood run cold.
"Finding Aether comes before anything or anyone."
Lumine's eyes shone with a cold sort of determination. Childe knew that she was serious. And, he couldn't blame her for a single thing. She was right in feeling that way. Maybe it just stung a little to hear it put so bluntly, after only just realizing he had been in love with her for a month and a half.
Childe nodded, putting on a grin, and looping his thumbs in his pockets.
"It makes sense for you to say that, Ojou-Chan." He went quiet, before he sighed. "Well, I'm going to head off. Thanks for walking me. It was fun today."
And Lumine nodded. They waved, and began to walk off. They left Childe to seethe in his feelings.
What a fool. What was he thinking, letting Morax of all people get to his head?
Maybe it would have been better to remain blissfully ignorant about how much he truly did love Lumine. Why did Zhongli have to put those thoughts into his head?
Childe knew he couldn't have her. And, it was just moments ago he realized how badly he did.
But it would be better this way anyways.
They would forever be just out of his reach. Just a step too far away. Too distant for him to hold.
And he would simply have to content himself with that.