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When Natasha got missions that were close enough for her to see Tony she was significantly happier. Nobody ever understood the correlation, just knew that sometimes missions made her less likely to destroy them during training for fun. They didn't know about the toddler and the billionaire she had waiting for her.
Tony's vacation in Afghanistan was easily the most terrified that Natasha had ever been. She asked for leave as soon as it wouldn't be obvious enough for someone to put the pieces together, coming home to find Jarvis raising Peter as best he could. It wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be- it had only been a couple of weeks. Peter was touch-starved and afraid of being abandoned again, but he was right back to the happy toddler he had been before after a couple of days. Natasha could feel the guilt Jarvis held for how little he had been able to do in the place of a real person right up until the spy lectured him for an hour straight. It would have been funny in any other situation but all any of them could focus on was how Tony may never be coming back.
When he finally came back the last thing Natasha had been expecting was to find out her husband was dying through SHIELD. It hurt until she asked herself why Tony would hide it from her. Then she was just sad.
They discussed it together and concluded that Natasha would tell SHIELD exactly what they were expecting- that Tony was a self-centered asshole who was acting way too eccentric for something not to be wrong- and the billionaire played the part to perfection, pretending to be the playboy he had been before he had found the love of his life. He had played man-slut before Afghanistan to make sure nobody would find out about his family, it was no different then.
The Avengers were the only people that Natasha and Tony had gotten close enough to to consider telling about themselves but, after the second time the things they said were used against them by Fury they changed their minds.
The secrets Steve tried to hide were allowed to go to rest peacefully after Natasha told Tony everything. His parents' deaths had always been something that weighed heavily on him and the stark contrast at having someone to blame that actually deserved it made all the difference. Knowing the lengths that the Man with a Plan was willing to go for Bucky Barnes allowed Tony to plan accordingly better than he could have otherwise.
It still wasn't enough.
-
In hindsight, Natasha really should have expected the way the Avengers exploded spectacularly. She used every skill in her arsenal to make sure that she had an in with Steve, knowing without a doubt that she would never allow her family to be hurt by the man. She had liked Steve in the beginning, his honesty and the way that he made people feel special. The rose-colored glasses shattered the same way SHIELD did, the realization that she had been tricked by the man not letting her rest. She had thought that she could protect her family because she knew how to read people and keep them away from those that would hurt them. She was wrong and the reality check hurt more than she had ever imagined it would.
When the Rouges showed up in their family room Tony and Natasha hadn't been expecting it at all.
"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Natasha asked threateningly, standing up from her place cuddled between Peter and Tony with danger in every inch of her body language.
Peter made a move to get up as well but Tony held him back lightly, shaking his head when the kid looked at him accusingly. Peter had been with them since before he could remember and he recognized the look on his father's face, electing to sit quietly and watch his mother eviscerate the people they used to trust.
"Our gear is glitching and we need Stark to fix it," Clint said easily, walking up casually to hug the Black Widow like he had any right.
Natasha easily flipped him over himself and left him winded on the floor, luxuriating in the way the Rouges shifted uncertainly. She shared a loaded look with her husband before they both nodded resolutely, Tony never moving from his spot. Peter was curled surrounded by Tony's body in a way that made him look small but Tony could feel the web-shooters against his stomach and saw them aimed directly at their unexpected house guests.
"What the hell, Natasha! That's not how we treat our teammates!" Steve said with disapproval, shaking his head and looking every inch the disappointed father.
"How did I never notice it?" The Black Widow asked herself after a moment of disbelief, shaking herself minutely to focus on the situation at hand. "None of you are my teammates. You're international fugitives and you're damn lucky we haven't called the police yet,"
Tony made a sound that made it very clear he disagreed. The Rouges collectively looked like they were about to kill Tony before he held up his phone, the timer projecting itself on the TV. Bucky and Sam looked very obviously uncomfortable, Tony reading it easily on their faces that they didn't want to be where they were. He considered it for a moment before ending the dramatic pause.
"You have 25 minutes before someone with super-soldier handcuffs and a collar comes to arrest them, babe. Make it count!" The billionaire said with a cheerful wave before dragging Peter's attention to some schematics.
The pair were arguing back and forth, both messing with the design, and looked for all the world like they were completely ignoring the scene. Tony's gauntlet was engaged and ready to shoot strong enough to seriously fuck up a super soldier and Peter's shooters were on taser web but both those things were hidden.
"Why is he calling you babe?" Steve asked, completely disregarding the threat of being arrested and calming Wanda down.
"Why is my husband calling me babe?" Natasha asked the Captain, walking towards him with a seductive sway in her hips and a silky smooth voice that promised pain for anyone listening close enough to hear it.
Steve immediately started sputtering at the title, half-formed objections that got progressively louder. His face getting steadily redder before he shut up, took a deep breath, and started talking like one would to a scared animal.
"You know that he doesn't care about you. He's a lazy guy who hasn't done anything in his life but spend his father's money and pretend to be a hero. He's a playboy, obviously cheating on you no matter what he says. He's going to betrayal you and he's unreliable. It's okay though, Natasha. We can forgive you for this mistake so long as you understand why what you have done is wrong. You probably didn't even do anything. Is this Stark's doing? You don't have to protect us, Natasha, we are thankful but marriage is not the way to go about this,"
The longer Steve spoke the harder it was to stop from either lashing out or laughing.
"I'm not touching that level of delusion with a ten-foot pole," The Widow muttered before getting ready to spell it out to them.
Sam looked supremely uncomfortable and Bucky looked constipated, both visibly twitching towards the doors like they were going to turn tail and leave the second they were sure nobody was looking. Tony beckoned them both forwards, including them in the conversation he had been having with Peter and pinching himself to stop himself from laughing when he realized the rest of the Rouges were too preoccupied to realize that they had lost 2 of their numbers.
"I can fix him for you," Wanda interrupted, malicious intent in her eyes and red magic on her hands.
Steve looked like he was about to let her go crazy even if it meant that Tony was hurt before the red suddenly vanished and Wanda lost it. The snap of a metal collar securing itself around her neck was loud in the sudden silence.
"Did I forget to mention that I kept an extra around just in case?" Tony asked, making an effort to sound suitably scandalized by his own forgetful nature.
Peter's lips were turning white with how hard he was trying not to laugh while Bucky and Sam were looking away so the smiles on their faces weren't obvious. Natasha didn't bother to hide her amusement, watching Wanda being comforted by Clint on the floor with a smirk.
"Tony," Steve started, openly furious as he stalked closer to the billionaire.
Natasha's face went from distantly amused to terrifying in a second, the woman flipping Steve onto his back the second he got close enough.
"You are nothing to me or to my family. You never knew who we were and you will never know who we are. My family is everything to me and you have never been included in that. Tony is the most amazing, kind, brave person I've ever met and I will never apologize to anyone for loving him. Peter is the best kid anyone can ask for and I will always be amazed that I get to see the person he has grown to be. You and your team of misfits are nothing more than your shitty attempt to fill the hole that's in your heart. It's a failure filled with people too blinded by the myth of Captain America to do the right thing and I'm disgusted that I ever thought you were a good person. My husband is a genius and he plays the press better than I do. He hasn't cheated on me and he won't because we don't keep secrets from each other. I know that that might be a foreign concept to you- transparency, that is- but that's ok. It's ok because when you get arrested I will make sure that your reputation is ripped to shreds so much so that nobody sane will ever think to follow you again. I will destroy the legacy of Captain America and I will smile as I do it because you almost killed my husband and you put a storage container on my son's head. You are nothing to me and I will stop at nothing to make sure that you are nothing to the rest of the world too,"
A team of people in body armour with rifles walked in right then, the dramatic entrance only enhancing the dressing down the Rouges had just been given.
"The three on the floor, if you will gentleman," Tony said, shifting in a telltale way much to Peter's disgust and the rest of the room's amusement.
"Dad," Peter shouted, practically teleporting to the other side of the couch to get away.
"I can't help it!" Tony muttered as he squirmed.
"You've got one feisty lady, Stark," Sam said, sharing a pointed look with Bucky as Tony's face went smug.
"Just let him have it. I would be smug too if my dame could do that with her words," Barnes said, tactfully ignoring the prominent bulge in Tony's sweatpants.
"Movie night, anyone?" Natasha asked once the Rouges were arrested and the cops finished getting their statements.
"You are welcome to the TV and Friday will show you where you can sleep. I'm just going to borrow my wife for a moment,"
Nobody was under any illusion about why Tony was taking Natasha, the sounds of their kissing obvious even as the elevator closed. Peter looked disgusted and embarrassed while both the men didn't look phased.
"What movie do you want to watch?" Peter asked squeakily, practically throwing the remote at Sam and burying his face in his hands.
"Depends on if you're allowed to watch rated R movies or if we need to get you a juice box and send you to bed instead. Isn't it past your bedtime?" Sam teased, already looking through the free movies on cable.
Comment if you have a pairing/prompt that you would like to see from me. Hope you like it! -Rose