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Zelos didn’t know why he agreed to come to Flanoir, but at least he was in a warm inn with curtains that covered the windows so he wasn’t subjected to snow nonstop.
But as he lays on his bed, the blankets half on and half off, he realizes he’s bored… Very bored. For once, they could afford an inn where everyone gets separate rooms, and despite Zelos not being too keen on everyone here, he couldn’t help but feel there’s some banter to be had, some stories to tell (and lie about). Some teasing of him, some teasing back to the one who dished it out…
He might be growing on these people.
I guess I’ll see what Lloyd’s up to.
As he mentally prepares himself to get off of the warm bed, there’s a knock on his door. Lloyd? That would’ve been… Weird if he managed that level of mind reading.
“Come in,” he says, and the door creaks open, revealing the smiling face of Colette.
“It’s snowing!” She says quite simply.
Zelos sits up, staring at Colette as her eyes practically beam at the dreadful idea of snow. “Yeah, it is,” he says rather bluntly.
Ignoring his tone, she continues. “Do you want to go outside? I think there’s enough to build a snowman! Or a snow dog? Do you know how to build one, Zelos?”
“I… I didn’t stay in cold climates.” Because that was the truth. Obscured, but still truthful.
“Oh,” Colette responds, but her voice doesn’t sound deflated. “Do you think we could learn together? Iselia never really, had snow.”
And there’s a part of Zelos that wants to blow Colette off. A large part of him, in fact. Because he doesn’t mind talking to her - she’s probably, due to her status of Chosen, one of the few that Zelos would consider actually trustworthy (the other being Lloyd) - but if he was going out in the snow… It wasn’t to build snowmen. Or dogs. Yet, there was a part of him that didn’t want to stay cooped up, that wanted to see someone else happy, even if he couldn’t be happy. So with a shrug, he gets up, much to Colette’s delight.
As he and Colette walk through the halls that lead to the city, Zelos catches a glimpse of purple at Lloyd’s door; a purple that didn’t belong to any member of their little party. He couldn’t help but snarl at the fact that Kratos had come back, almost letting it consume his mind with hatred until he took a deep breath and focused back on Colette's bouncy steps, steps that he wishes he could take.
How? She went through all the physical pains of being Chosen, and yet… And yet she was still able to keep smiling, to keep being the sun incarnate.
To keep being the opposite of Zelos.
Once they exit the inn, Colette immediately runs to grab a mound of snow, all while Zelos hangs back against the entrance wall. She turns around with a ball of snow and a smile that could melt it, and Zelos tries his best to ignore the snow in her hand and focus on her smile. Focus on her, not the snow.
“Zelos, come on! I thought you wanted to play too?”
He shakes his head, “I’m more content with watching.”
And she drops the snow (thankfully) and walks towards him, taking a spot at the wall where he leaned. “You know… I always thought it’ll be easier to watch.”
Involuntarily, an eyebrow of Zelos’ raises, before he tries to neutralize his face. She had no reason to trust him, he gave her nothing, and yet, here she was, giving him a chance she would definitely take back in a heartbeat if she knew his intentions.
Her head droops down, fixating on her white boots as she speaks. “I grew up without any friends, no one really wanted to be your friend when you were the Chosen.”
Which was very much the truth Zelos knew all too well.
“I was smart, a bit of a klutz, but a normal girl, just like everyone. And yet everyone treated me like I was special, like I was a doll not to be touched.
But I was okay with it, because later I knew I was doing the right thing. And if saving the world that let me smile meant having no friends? Then, that was okay.”
It wasn’t okay - at least, that’s what Zelos thought she was going. Where he thought she would go with that, but there was enough of a pause that he could interject, without being rude.
“It’s the same in Tethe’alla, in case you were wondering.”
Her eyes move, with purpose, to Zelos’, emoting understanding, wanting him to go on.
“I was always a name, always made a big deal of. I wasn’t Zelos WIlder, I was Zelos Wilder, Chosen of Mana. I hated it, but I had to make use of it.” His eyes drift away from Colette’s and towards the snow falling. “It was… No, never mind.” And those last two lines were barely audible, such so that Colette went on, to which Zelos appreciated.
He wasn’t sure... If he wanted to ruin her happiness.
“It must’ve been lonely, being all by yourself. I got lucky, Lloyd saw me as a person, as Colette Brunel, and not Colette Brunel, Chosen of Mana. And in those days, I was happy.”
But the way she said those words had an air of something, something Zelos knew all too well. He wasn’t sure if that was what Colette was implying, but either way, he nodded. Because the parasitic title of the Chosen never came with happiness. It never came guilt free. There was always something lurking in the dark, because that was just the kind of person Mithos was. There was no way, no possible way, that he could’ve made a world where there wasn’t suffering at every corner. Where he didn’t have to fear for his own life, because people wanted to kill him. Where he could’ve never had issues with the snow, and would have taught Colette how to make snow angels - a word that seems ironic now due to how demonic the angels truly were.
“Do you regret your journey?” Zelos asks, not looking at Colette still.
There’s a delay in her response, probably from shaking her head. “I don’t. I’ve met too many people that I wouldn’t trade for being a normal girl.”
That doesn’t include me.
With a sigh, Zelos answers his own question. “I never even asked for this title, my dad gave it to me. He committed suicide just days after the oracle was read, and I don’t even blame him. I was hunted for my title, watched my mom die in front of me on a snowy day just like this. And as the snow stained red my heart cracked, because my own mother…”
What was he doing?
What was he doing ?
Why, why was he telling her all of this? He wasn’t one of the people she cared about. He wasn’t like her, able to keep smiling despite everything… He just wanted to die, to lay to rest forever and be done with this Chosen bullshit.
And as if she read his mind, she responds. “But you’re still here.”
“My own mother told me I should’ve never been born, and I’ve carried that all my life.”
“But you’re still here, Zelos. You’re still here, alive, despite it all.”
“They shot her…” he shakes his head, “and all pathetic me can think of is they should’ve gotten me instead.”
In an instant, their positions change. They were no longer side by side, but face to face, Colette’s hands on Zelos’ shoulders, forcing him to view her, her round eyes welling up with… Compassion?
With emotions he didn’t deserve.
“But you’re alive, in spite of it all.”
In spite of it all…
Perhaps, he was a spiteful creature.
“We’re alive, in spite of the Chosen system,” her voice starts to choke, tears tumble out of her eyes “in spite of the world that told us it's okay if we died, because it’s for the greater good.
If my journey didn’t take the turns it did, then I would’ve been lifeless - and so would you - and the world wouldn’t be any better. It would’ve been worse.”
And maybe it was that pessimistic trait of Zelos, that voice in his head that told him that regardless, he didn’t deserve these words, because being Zelos Wilder was different. Being Zelos Wilder was way different, so he responds in the only self-deprecating way he knows. “The world would’ve been better without me.”
Her grip on him tightens, and he’s forced to stare at her and she practically shouts at him. “There is someone. Multiple people. Me. I care for you, Zelos.
I love you.”
She lets go. That was the end of that.
But Zelos holds on. Grabs her by the waist, envelops her into a hug. A hug she wasn’t expecting, but a hug she reciprocates. No one loves Zelos Wilder. To him, the snow was proof of that.
Yet in the falling snow, he had his first meaningful love confession.
“I care for you too, Colette.” Because he couldn’t work up the courage to say “I love you.”