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The One About Tony’s Fridge Argument

Summary:

A fridge's doors are often used as a means to collect magnets, photos, drawings, shopping lists, and documents (such as utility bills). In the case of the refrigerator that can be found in the kitchen of the Avengers' Compound, the story is much the same except for one particular difference.

One instance will pit a few members of the team against one of its two leaders, Tony Stark, when an argument breaks out on the little whiteboard that rests on the front of the fridge. The slight "altercation" will turn even funnier when an anonymous contributor (one Peter Parker) starts to add his own commentary.

(This fic, as more to follow on this series, belongs to the same alternate universe as my fic A Red Start Glinting in the Night. It's not necessary to read that one first to enjoy this one and the other ones, but it'll give you some context about how my version of the Post-Civil War events went down. It also tells the story of an OFC named Blake –Bucky's girlfriend– that will make appearances on some of the fics from this series. Either way, these are one-shots meant to be read as stand-alones).

Notes:

Hi, welcome! So this is a one-shot from a new series about the more domestic and fun side of the lives of the Avengers.

The series is based on "prompts" (more like memes and other posts I've collected over the years from Tumblr and other sites), so I can't claim full ownership of the idea –just the expansion of it and the addition of some elements–, that goes to the original poster/s.

As I didn't save any usernames, I can't credit anyone. So, if by chance, you recognize the original idea as yours or someone else's you know (and can provide proof), please tell me so I can give you and/or them due credit. Or delete it, if you and/or them would prefer it.

I will provide the screencap of the post used as inspiration to anyone who asks to see it (I would post it with the story but I unfortunately can't).

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

When Tony first mentioned the idea of moving the Avengers’ HQ away from New York City to someplace upstate, where they could have more space and privacy, everyone concerned seemed enthusiastic about it. Of course, it wasn’t a different deal once the deed was done and they all moved into the new compound.

Before that, the little team of six Avengers was stationed at the former Stark Tower, then aptly renamed Avengers Tower. Although not all the original six members took permanent residence in the tower, they all had their own floors there. Still, some of them just used their space sporadically, whenever they were in the city.

At first, living in the compound was a little bit awkward for the heroes, not only because they had to grow accustomed to a new place, but because there were new additions to the team roster while some of the original members were either missing, away on a mission, or living on their own/with their family.

Still, they managed to get used to each other’s presence and just to live together as a team. They all had their own private downtime in which they did whatever they wanted, yet they still shared meals and trained together. Slowly but surely, the Avengers Family was growing stronger bonds amongst its members.

But it was that original hesitancy that culminated in an unexpected battle of wits that took the compound’s Avengers’ private quarters kitchen by storm. As it turns out, just like it happens in many households around the world, the Avengers’ kitchen fridge has a myriad of magnets, papers, and more stuck to its shiny metal surface. Although, it wasn’t always like that, of course. When the team first moved to the premises, the refrigerator was completely bare on the outside.

That particular home appliance sat devoid of any kind of decorations or more practical additions, like shopping lists, for at least a few weeks. Over time, that situation began to change, as every inhabitant of the compound and their frequent visitors and guests added their own piece to the metal case. That way, the chrome exterior that was only furnished with “boring stuff” (as Clint declared to Natasha) up until that time, slowly became more lively.

It all started with Steve sticking magnets from around the world, ones that he brought back after missions abroad. Then, a few candid photos of the team members started to make their way onto the fridge’s doors. And those were soon followed by a practical magnetic little whiteboard where anyone could write down their food requests. But one proved to not be enough, so soon there were more covering the silver surface. Little did they know that it would be that insignificant piece of plastic the object that would give place to a new conflict of sorts.

It really didn’t take long for the same space used for the shopping list to become a battleground for the heroes. Which, unlike a German airport, at least wouldn’t end up on the news. Nevertheless, it did spark outrage, as Tony took it upon himself to write down ridiculous requests that would often have to be shut down by other Avengers.

The thing is, that the words exchanged between the involved parties were never spoken, only written down. And despite some suspicions being held by a few members of the team, no one truly foresaw what ended up happening. Most of them still enjoyed it, though.

Since by the time Peter became a regular visitor of the compound –spending his time there either at the labs with Tony or training with his other teammates–, he learned about the “Requests War”, he couldn’t help but to join in on the fun. Being a teenager, Parker naturally found the whole affair hilarious, so he adamantly kept tabs on the “fridge situation” every time he was around. Not long after, the kid started to add his own annotations, making the ordeal even funnier and more bizarre.

The most notable inscriptions found on the fridge’s white space were a series of comments and answers from different people to Stark’s wild requests. In fact, those can actually be compiled into a string of increasingly outlandish petitions (from Tony) and progressively aggressive denials (from almost everybody else). It exasperated some while amusing others, but it was all made in jest and good fun.

So, the“legendary fridge text exchange” started with a simple “Tony, no”, written in elegant lettering and on the back of a business card. That was meant as a reply to one of the engineer’s latest requests for food, to which Peter added the comment “a biography by Pepper Pots”.

After spending so much time with his mentor, the kid knew for sure that the particularly fancy handwriting belonged to the CEO of Stark Industries. And knowing at least part of the history between the couple (part from the media and part from Stark himself), he thought that his witty addition was actually pretty accurate.

Pepper’s answer was followed by a “Tony, stop” on a neatly-cut piece of sketching paper. The bold letters, given that effect by the repeated use of a thick and dark marker, clearly betrayed their author, who thought could remain anonymous.

But Parker knew better and was able to recognize which one of his teammates penned that warning. So, soon after it was first added below the previous comments, the legend “a sequel by Steve Rogers” appeared just to the right of the Captain’s commentary.

Written later than the ones before, but above the previous annotations (and in all caps), could be read “GODDAMNIT TONY”. The paper that bore such “language” was ripped off from a drawing notebook (which belonged to Steve) found atop a counter by the author. Only one person could be so bold as to insult Tony in such a straightforward manner, even via written text. It wasn’t hard for the Spiderling to figure out who that one belonged to, so he added “a prequel by James Rhodes” right next to it.

And, of course, below all the previous sentences appeared “Tony, yes”, scribbled in a small piece of paper that was colored by coffee stains. That one had “an autobiography by Tony Stark” alongside it.

Last but not least, at the bottom of the accumulation of comments was furiously written down (on a previously crumpled piece of paper) the phrase “Fucking hell, Tony, stop sticking magnets to my goddamn arm!”. Given the level of aggression, and the mention of a metal prosthetic, it could only belong to one culprit alone: the former Hydra assassin.

Although, that almost threat had a few letters of the first word erased, that Rogers himself censored. Which was funny since Rhodey’s comment didn’t suffer the same treatment. It seems that one could say that the Captain believes he has more right to censor his best friend than the Colonel.

However, not long after Bucky put up his piece on the fridge, a final comment appeared right beside that last warning. It said “a death threat by Bucky Barnes”. Just below that was one of Steve’s magnets (the latest that the Cap added to the little collection on the refrigerator). That one had been previously on Bucky’s metal arm. In all of the Avengers’ opinions, that combination was probably the funniest of the bunch.

Even to Peter, who had been trying to suppress his laughter while scribbling the last one, in order to not be caught red-handed. Because, as it turns out, no one actually knew who was the culprit behind the funny and slightly mocking comments; through all the laughs and giggles, no one really cared to uncover the mystery. And, obviously, Parker hoped he would remain unknown as the creator of the witty codas.

The only person that knew that Peter was the culprit, but didn’t say anything (because he found it all too amusing to ruin it like that), was Stark himself. He didn’t only find it funny, though, but clever as well, which made him feel even prouder of his protégé’s sense of humor since it aligned so well with his own.

He found out that it was Parker behind it all after searching for the anonymous commentator through the security cameras’ footage. Once he did that, he instructed F.R.I.D.A.Y. to not divulge that information to the rest of the Avengers, even if they asked about it. In the end, though, they all had a good time. More or less.

 

Notes:

This is tied to another one of my fics, as I said in the summary, but you would only have to read it if you want full context about "the larger" picture (like, why Bucky is part of the Avengers, who's Blake and what's her story, and why Steve, Sam, Natasha, Wanda, and Vision remained in the team).

Apart from that, this fic –as well as the others from the series– can be read as a stand-alone, without having to go through the other one.

Also, if you are interested in reading more Marvel-related fics, check out my Daredevil-centered long fic series Hell Was the Journey But it Brought Me Daredevil. It already has two novel-length completed fics posted.

Other fandoms I write or have written for are the Devil May Cry videogames franchise, the Swedish band Ghost, and the Youtuber/streamer/music artist Corpse Husband, so check my profile if you are interested in those.

That being said, thank you for stopping by and reading. Leave kudos and/or a comment if you'd like to say anything about the story. All kinds of comments are welcomed (short, long, questions, etc.), even just emojis like :) or <3 (as extra kudos).

Hope you have a nice day/evening :D