Chapter Text
In Yamaguchi's life, bullying and isolation had all been commonplace before he had met Tsuki. He had remembered eating his lunch by himself, sitting in the wet grass as he watched his classmates laugh around him. It's strange to say but in some ways, Tsuki had been like the sun to him. Sure he definitely wasn't the typical sun, but despite everything he had always cared for Yamaguchi in his own roundabout way, he wasn't someone who particularly shone but to Yamaguchi, he was an amazing person that he wanted to protect.
He supposed that the moon or a star would be a more accurate representation of Tsuki, not as quite as bright as the sun but still sparkling, yet so so far out of reach. He often wondered if he could reach out his hand, would he be able to reach that star? He knew it was pointless trying, so he stays complacent, and when the day comes that Tsuki will come to him starry-eyed and tells him about a girl he will smile and congratulate him through gritted teeth. So as he felt flowers encase his lungs and threaten to explode and release themselves onto the cold gym floor, he forced them down and choked on his words.
"Are you okay?" Tsuki asked him, concern laced through his voice.
Despite his head feeling like it was spinning he could still piece together the words Tsuki had said to him.
"I'm okay" He suppressed a cough and waved his hand dismissively. Tsuki frowned as he spoke, doubt covering his face.
"Sorry Tsuki!" He let out a half-laugh and patted his shoulder reassuringly. Tsuki's expression lightened and he rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Let's go home," Tsuki said, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.
Yamaguchi followed him the same as always, even with his chest threatening to explode and reveal his feelings at any moment.
The first time the flowers had appeared was when Tsuki was confessed to. The day was still vivid in his mind and he could taste those same flowers on his tongue. It wasn't something Yamaguchi normally worried about, Tsuki was a popular guy after all, but he had never shown even the slightest interest in those who serenaded him and dropped hand-written letters and boxes of chocolates into his hands.
It hadn't started then when he had seen the love letters stuffed into Tsuki's locker, nor had it started when he could feel the jealousy bubbling up inside of him after he could hear girls giggling and whispering Tsuki's name. Rather it was when he got back and said "When I get a girlfriend I hope she's nothing like the girls at this school" The word girlfriend echoed through his ears and filled his head with despair.
"Ah, a girlfriend, huh?" he thought, it had never occurred to him that Tsuki was someone who thought about things like that. He always imagined that they would always be together. Walking home together, applying to colleges, and eventually living together in a medium-sized house with maybe a cat or two. He imagined growing old and calling out to each other with the same old banter and he imagined hearing Tsuki rant about something stupid Kageyama had said once again or telling him about his favorite types of dinosaurs. But he guessed he had other plans.
"Oh." He simply thought, his brain was wiped clean of any thoughts and he felt sick. He could feel his insides churning and bubbling up his throat. He could feel the burn as it came up, and he ran to the bathroom holding his stomach as he ran. There in that tiny bathroom, he felt the flowers travel up his throat as he leaned over the toilet and threw up the remains. He stared in horror at what was left in the toilet, a single flower floating atop the water. The ceiling above him seemed to spin as he kneeled on the floor of the bathroom and desperately searched for air. Tears flooded his eyes as he shakily stood up, wiping the spit from his mouth and trying to ignore the feeling in his chest.
That night Yamaguchi had frantically searched the internet about anything and everything to do with the Hanahaki disease, he had only heard stories about it, and quite honestly didn't think it could actually happen, especially not to him. He searched every forum he could find but still ended up with little information, but one thing was certain if his feelings were found to be unreciprocated he would rot away and eventually become a corpse of the once Yamaguchi Tadashi. He didn't want that.
When Tsuki arrived at practice that day Yamaguchi hadn't shown up. He wondered what was up with Yamaguchi, he had known his best friend for a long time and the way he was acting was indescribable to him. He couldn't figure out what thoughts were running through his head. Lately, whenever he looked at Tsuki he had a sort of sea-sick look to him making him feel uneasy and anxious. He wondered what exactly was bothering Yamaguchi and why he often went ahead without him. Halfway through practice, Hinata skipped over to him during one of their water breaks.
"Hey Tsuki" He whispered poking Tsuki's face.
"What's up with Yamaguchi??" He spoke louder this time forgetting he was trying to be secretive. Tsuki shoved away his face with his hand and shook his head.
"I don't know... I think he's sick" That was the only explanation he could come up with.
Yeah, he must be sick and by tomorrow he'll be back to his usual self. He'll run to Tsuki and talk about the same mundane things and he'll get to see his face light up as Tsuki shows him a new song he found. Yup, he was certain, he would be okay. But he still felt doubtful so he decided that he should bring him some medicine at least.
"No way... Yamaguchi never gets sick!" Hinata said confidently
"You know what I think..." He leaned in closer. "I think he's lovesick!" He declared.
Tsuki stared at him in disbelief, is this kid serious? There's no way that's possible, who would he even be lovesick over? He tried to rack his brain for people that he could be in love with. Sure there was Yuki from class 2, but he'd only ever see them work on homework together he'd never seen them outside of school together. Not only that but Tsuki was with him 99% of the time. Surely he didn't have some secret relationship he had kept from his best friend.
"I don't believe it" He wiped off his sweat and picked up his glasses securing them on his head.
Kageyama, overhearing their conversation butted in,
"What do you know about love Hinata? How do you know he's not just sick" Kageyama hit him on the head.
"I know more than you!" He puffed out his chest. "Once in elementary school, I had a girlfriend! We held hands and she gave me homemade chocolate on Valentine's day!" He boasted.
Kageyama rolled his eyes "That doesn't count!! You were in elementary school"
They continued to bicker back and forth about what constitutes a 'real relationship' until coach Ukai yelled at them to get to work cleaning up everything. Tsuki could care less about what a 'real' relationship was he was just worried about his friend and as they mopped the floor he felt his stomach fill up with dread.