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Minhee stands in front of the door he’s very familiar with. He hesitates to punch the code his muscles couldn’t forget even if he tried. He just stares at it and contemplates if he should knock or if he's still allowed to just walk inside. He stands there for a few minutes until he hears rustling on the other side.
He decides to finally knock. Once… Twice… Then the door opens and he’s there. Yunseong is still a few centimeters short so he slightly looks up as he opens the door. Eyes a little wide—surprised and something else, hidden very well—he looks hurt.
Minhee feels a little bit annoyed at that. How dare he look hurt when he’s the reason why they’re in this position, anyway.
“Why did you knock? Did you forget the code?” Yunseong asks.
Minhee shakes his head, “I just didn’t want to barge in.”
Yunseong opens the door wider, inviting him in. He hears a sigh, “You know you’re always welcome here.”
“Am I?” Minhee asks and it stings but Yunseong doesn’t respond to that.
Minhee holds his stare and turns on his back and heads to the kitchen. “Sit down. Do you want anything to eat?”
“No, Yunseong. I didn’t come here to eat and you know that.” Minhee responds indignantly.
Yunseongs shakes his head before talking again. “I know, I’m sorry. I just—”
“Do you really want to break up?” Minhee asks, voice turning soft.
Yunseong looks everywhere but the direction of the sofa where Minhee is. “I feel like this was bound to happen, anyway. I just don’t want this to be more difficult for you.”
“For me?” Minhee asks. “Do you think this is what I want?”
“In this life time…” he starts but words seem to escape him. He runs his fingers through his hair and tries again. “If we continue this path,” he pauses and meets his eyes again. “I feel like we’ll spend more time missing each other thana really being with each other.”
“So… this is difficult for you!” Minhee’s voice finally rising, sounding more angry than sad every minute. “Don’t act like you’re doing this for me because I never asked for this!”
“Okay, tell me. Minhee, are you happy?” he asks.
Instead of answering, Minhee’s knees fail him as the tears start to fall. Yunseong runs to him but Minhee holds his hand up. “Don’t.” he starts, “Don’t touch me.” He says firmly as he quietly cries, and the tears he has held back for so long finally escapes.
Yunseong can’t do anything but watch. He clutches his heart like he can ease the pain he feels as he watches the tears that he caused. “When you get rid of me,” he starts talking, “You’ll never have to go through this. Someone can be there for you when you need them to. You don’t have to fall asleep crying waiting for me because I know, you’ll have someone that can be there all the time.”
Minhee’s head snaps up. “How?” Minhee asks, “How did you know?”
Yunseong moves closer, testing the waters, checking if Minhee if would still push him away. He holds his hand up to wipe away his tears and he lets him. Yunseong feels a relief all throughout his body and he wonders how he’ll live when he officially cannot be this close to Minhee anymore.
“You didn’t think I just didn’t check on you like that, did you?” Yunseong says softly. Minhee closes his eyes and leans towards his touch. “I want you to be happy all the time and I don’t want to be the reason that you’re lonely all the time.”
“Can you hug me?” Minhee asks like he didn’t hear whatever Yunseong just said but who is Yunseong to deny him a hug on their last day together.
Yunseong opens his arms and Minhee almost jumps to him, their body molding together. Minhee hides his face on the space where Yunseong’s neck and shoulder meets then he starts crying again. Yunseong holds him tighter. They stay like that just holding each other just trying to make other feel what words cannot explain.
Minhee is the one who breaks the silence. “Could you let this go?” he asks. “Could you really walk away from this?
“I love you so much.” Yunseong whispers. “And I’ll break my own heart if it means you get to be happy.”
Minhee pulls away, just far enough so he can look at Yunseong again. “I admit, sometimes I wish I can drop everything and just run to you or sometimes I wish we’re not both in this situation so it could be easier. And yes, I do cry sometimes thinking about it like what my friends probably told you.” He finally tells him. Minhee also puts a mental note to scream at Hyeongjun when he gets back but he’ll have time for that later.
“But what they don’t know is that when I’m about to give up, I think about the time we spent working together. I remember how you’ve always encouraged me, all the words you said to me, I keep them in a tiny jar inside my brain and just pull out one whenever I need a boost of energy.”
A tear escapes from Yunseong and Minhee was quick to wipe it away. “It’s difficult but I know it’s going to be unbearable without you. I love you.”
Yunseong finally breaks down at that. He pulls Minhee back to his arms, so close like he’s afraid Minhee will disappear any minute. “I’m sorry.” He chokes out. “I’m sorry.” And it’s Minhee’s turn to hold him, he knows that Yunseong always tries to be strong. He couldn’t help it when he’s used to doing it everywhere.
“I don’t know what I would have done if you agreed, to be honest.” Yunseong admits. “I just felt like you deserve someone who can help you through whatever you’re going through instead of someone you have to worry about.”
“I know you’re a tough guy and you’re used to carrying all the weight for everybody else but in here, you got to lean on me too, okay?” Minhee says with a smile, trying to lift the mood.
Yunseong surprises him with a peck on the lips. “How did I ever get so lucky to have you?” he says, returning the smile.
“I know, right?” Minhee replies with a smile. “I love you”
“I love you too.” he says.
“Can you promise me one thing?”
“What’s that?” Yunseong asks.
“Don’t ever break up with me over text again or else I will kill you.”