Chapter Text
You had started your first quarter as a graduate student, and still hadn't really made many close friends. You concluded that that was the most obvious symptom of your social anxiety and introverted tendencies. You had managed to make a few friends in some of your classes, but you didn't have anyone that you could just call to hang out with. At least not yet. As much as you enjoyed being on your own, you wanted company as well: someone to have real conversations with. It was getting a little boring being completely alone if you're being honest. You spent most of your time alone in the room studying or in the library studying. Your roommate, Yejin, was really nice and even invited you out clubbing a couple of times, but you always declined because clubbing never sounded very pleasant to you. You guess that was part of your problem; you never put yourself in the right scenarios to make friends. Anytime you contemplated putting yourself in a situation that might lead to socialization, you ended up choosing to go back to your room and avoid other people at all costs. You basically never left the room for anything but class and food. You envied Yejin because she was the social butterfly you knew you could never be. She was always out with friends; it almost felt like you didn't have a roommate at all. You appreciated all her invitations to join her and her friends and even thought about accepting a few times, but you didn't think you could keep up with them. The upside was that you had very little distracting you from your school work and were able to get so much done.
It was around the time you started getting hungry so you decided it was time to head out for food again. You shut your door and turned into the hall when your body collided with what you could only assume was somebody else's. The keys fell from your hands and onto the floor.
"Sorry, I wasn't looking at where I was going," the boy said in a low, grumbly voice that sounded as if those were the first words he had spoken after waking up from a nap. Before you could fully process what was going on, he bent down to pick up your keys and held them out for you to take. You took them from his hands and as soon as they were empty they went to scratch the back of his neck nervously. He was blushing and wearing a shy smile–a strange juxtaposition from the groggy pout he was sporting seconds ago.
"No, no. It's not your fault. I wasn't looking either. Sorry," you said, laughing awkwardly. "Thanks," you jiggled the keys in your hand to let him know what you were thanking him for before smiling and parting ways. Great, you manage to make a fool of yourself even on one of the rare occasions you actually left your room, and now you were going to replay that awkward moment in your head a million times until the next time you made a fool of yourself. The worst part is that you knew that you overthought the little things. You knew that most people didn't care as much as you did and dwelling on every little detail was unnecessary but couldn't keep yourself from doing it anyway.
You had been moving between Korea and the United States your whole life. Your dad's company did a lot of business in Korea that required him to be there for long periods of time. When you were born, your parents were living in Korea and moved back to the U.S when you were about 6 years old. You've been living in both Korea and the U.S on and off but spent most of your life in the U.S. When you were still in undergraduate school, your parents decided to move back to Korea permanently. That's when you decided that you would apply to graduate school in Korea, as a way to both be near your family, and to get a better feel for if you would maybe like to start a life in Korea after finishing your education.
Since you were born here, it felt like your second home, but it was still hard to leave all the people you had grown so close to back in the states. You knew it wasn't going to be easy to move to another country, but you really wanted to be around in case your parents ever needed you. Your friends called from time to time, but you still missed having someone to hang out with. You told yourself that it's only been a little while since school started; there's still time to meet someone cool. Right?
You put the key in the lock and opened the door to an overly smiley Yejin.
"Hey! Did you just eat?" She jumped up from her desk to walk over to you.
"Yes. . .why?" you eyed her suspiciously.
"I just wanted to check-in. Plus, you don't usually go out for any other reason so I wanted to see if maybe you felt adventurous and decided to go study in the library or something." You rolled your eyes at her but couldn't hold back a smile, knowing she was right. "So, did anything fun happen while you were out?" She chuckled at the idea of you having fun.
"No, but I did manage to have an embarrassing moment in the first two milliseconds I stepped out the door." you slumped down onto the bed in defeat.
"Really?" Yejin tried to hold back a giggle that made itself known in the way she was biting her hand. "What did you do?" She asked.
"Well, I was closing the door and when I turned around I bumped into this dude and dropped my keys. Then-"
"Was he at least cute?" Yejin interrupted you.
"Uhhhhh, I actually don't know I was too busy thinking about how awkward the moment was. Oof, it was awkward. I was being awkward, but he was also being awkward so it was really . . .awkward. Why does that matter anyway?"
"I don't know. It's not like you'll ever talk to him," she teased.
"Exactly."
"But how awkward does someone have to be for you to think they're awkward?" You chuckled and shook your head at her question.
"So why were you so smiley when I walked in, huh? What are you scheming?"
"Well. . . Hobi's having game-night at his house on Sunday, and you're going to be my plus one." She stated.
"How many times do I have to tell you I don't like parties? Being in a room full of randos isn't my thing if you haven't noticed."
"But that's the thing, it's not going to be a party-party, it's more like a small gathering. It's just going to be his group of friends and a couple of other people. I mean the dorms are tiny. It's not like anyone can actually have a party even if they wanted to," she did her best to reason with you.
"Honestly, I think that makes it worse. A more intimate setting means that people will expect me to actually talk to them. Do you want my list of awkward moments to grow?"
"Come on! You won't hang out in large groups of people, but you also won't hang out in small groups of people? You need to get out more and get out of your comfort zone."
"That's easy for you to say because being around a bunch of randos is your comfort zone! Plus, you probably already know everyone who's going, you social heathen!" you argued.
"Ok but all jokes aside you're really not that awkward. Nervous, yes. But when it comes down to it you can carry a conversation and the 'awkwardness' is just an endearing quality."
"Thanks for trying to boost my confidence," You laughed, playing with the strings on your hoodie to avoid eye contact.
"So are you coming with me?" She sat beside you on your bed, holding your hand in both of hers in a pleading manner.
"It's on a Sunday," you grumbled.
"Yeah I know, but Hobi has dance practice on Saturday so it was the option." She said, still holding on tightly to your hand.
"Disgusting, the one time I say yes to a party and it's on a Sunday."
"You complain too much," She said with a triumphant smile on her face.
"Sorry," you said timidly.
"You also apologize too much, but I'll let it slide because you made my day by agreeing to be my plus one." She said, grabbing her stuff to go brush her teeth.
"Don't get too excited. I still have time to change my mind."
"Uh-uh, that's not allowed!" She called out before leaving the room.