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When Steve Rogers died, he left behind a void that was nearly impossible to fill. Strangers mourned for weeks, and his friends, his family, well, they never really stopped. They didn’t get a chance to, first Natasha, then Tony so soon after, and months after that, Steve. It was beginning to feel like they weren’t going to catch a break. So they did what they do best, they pushed through. Bucky moved out of the Avengers Compound and moved into a small apartment in Brooklyn, if you could call it that. Despite Tony’s generosity making it so that Bucky would probably never have to work again if he didn’t want to, Bucky chose the smallest apartment possible, and had no qualms about leaving it to move to DC after the events with the . He upgraded then, if only slightly, buying a two bedroom apartment with enough space that his younger friends have a comfortable place to go when they’re in town. If he’s being honest, Bambi and Peter are the only reason he has furniture at all, let alone two bedrooms, a kitchen and two bathrooms. He wants the kids to have a place to land whenever they’re around.
Sam kept his place in DC, although he spends any of his off time in Louisiana with his family, nowadays Bucky usually goes with him, the two of them becoming quite the pair, both in the field and off of it. They learned the value of good friends, people you can trust, the hard way.
The rest of the pardoned Avengers live upstate, working out of the compound. Peter lives there throughout the week, training new avengers, working on his tech and patrolling where he can. But Friday to Monday he lives with Bambi, Pepper and Morgan at the Avengers tower, where Pepper runs Stark industries and Bambi spearheads the New Avengers, she assesses threats and cases for them to take on, as well as training and bonding missions and once a month or so she travels with Peter for the week to check in with the Avengers.
They never really moved on, however, Tony’s lab is cluttered, Bambi and Peter use it often, but Tony’s old car sits untouched, barely dusted, in a corner along with an old Iron Man suit. It’s a painful reminder, but one Bambi insists on needing. Steves room was cleaned, but his name is still on the door and his sketchbook sits on Bambi’s bedside table, full of their memories. Natasha’s room really didn’t need much cleaning, but any personal items are often piled neatly somewhere in Bambi’s room, and her favourite blanket lays across the back of the sofa still, where it was left, where it should be for warmth and protection.
So no one moved on, but everyone pushed through, even though it hurts like hell, their family got through it.
Bucky found himself in Louisiana once again, he’s begun leaving some essentials in their spare room, toothbrush, some teeshirts and jeans, he’s there often enough, sometimes without much notice, and he can’t say he complained when Sarah offered him the closet to keep his things in. Unfortunately this visit wasn’t one of convenience or out of a desire to see Sam’s family. Sarah had called days ago, there was an issue with the boat engine that required Sam’s attention, and probably Bucky’s strength. They were staying in Louisiana until the parts Sam ordered came in.
it was late when Bucky got the call, awhile after Cass and AJ had gone to bed and sometime after Sarah had bid him and Sam goodnight. Bucky checks the caller ID before cracking a smile and answering.
“What’re you doin up late doll, dontcha have a team t’be runnin?” He’s fondly smiling down at his half empty beer, waiting for a quick quip back. When he doesn’t get one right away his smile wavers, and when he hears the shuddering breath and soft sniffle it falls completely off of his face. “Darlin’ what’s wrong?”
Bambi whimpers on the other end, choking on a soft sob when she talks. “I-I miss them Buck, I- it hurts s-s-so mu-ch!” Bucky knows in a second that she’s talking about Natasha, Tony and Steve and he feels his heart crack somewhere deep in his chest.
“You havin’ a rough night sweetheart?” He asks gently, scrunching his face up against the wave of grief that threatens to overwhelm him in a moment. His hand tightens around the beer bottle and a deep breath helps to steady him.
Bambi sobs, a gut wrenching, heartbreaking sound that makes Bucky wince “I-I don’t know how to do this without them!” Her words dissolve into hysterical sobs that make Bucky want nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and make it better.
Bucky stands, setting his bottle to the side and walking a few steps away from the house “I know Darlin’, it fucking sucks, and you’re doing such an amazing job, okay?” Bucky waits until he hears a broken sound of acquiescence before he continues. “Natasha, Tony, Stevie? They’d all be incredibly proud of you, I’m incredibly proud of you, you saw an opportunity to do something good, and you did whatever it took to make sure it got done, sound like anyone you know?” He tries to soothe her without invalidating her feelings, something he learned from therapy when he finally opened up enough.
“Ye-yeah.” Bambi stutters out, sniffling hard before dissolving into sobs again. “I want them back.” It comes out as a whimper and Bucky bites his lip hard enough to draw blood.
He takes a deep breath to steady himself. “Me too Kotenok, me too.” There’s a moment of silence, broken only by Bambi’s soft sobs. “Where’s Pepper and Peter?” Bucky asks, pinching the bridge of his nose and wracking his brain for solutions.
“Pep and Morgan went on a little vacation for a few weeks, I have too much homework to take the time off.” Bambi had enrolled in a fast track business school so she could take more of the Avenger’s responsibility on, and eventually, take over Stark Industries with Morgan. “And Pete is at the compound for a couple weeks.” Bucky winces, so she’s all alone in that big tower, well, never alone technically, but in any way that matters.
The back door creaks open and gently shuts, Bucky doesn’t have to turn around to know it’s Sam coming to look for him and he gets an idea. “Why don’t you come out here for a few days?” Bucky offers, turning to face Sam, who stares with an arched eyebrow and a smirk. ‘Bambi’ Bucky mouths, once, twice, three times without Sam understanding before he waves the darker man off.
“R-really?” Bambi sniffs hard, “Like in Brooklyn?”
Bucky shakes his head, “No darlin’ I’m in Louisiana right now with Sam, he’d love to have you around again, and the boys would love you.” Sam is gesturing wildly at him now, demanding to know who Bucky is inviting around his nephews but Bucky just glares at him.
“Y-yeah, I- uh, I guess I can work from there.” Bambi takes a shuddering breath. “Thank you, Buck, and thank Sam for me too.” Her voice has some light to it again that pulls pressure off of Bucky’s shoulders.
“Of course sweetheart, text me your flight information and I’ll be there to come pick you up.” Bucky offers, rolling his shoulders out and playfully glaring at Sam again. He hears Bambi take another deep breath and his sensitive hearing picks up on her typing something out on her laptop.
It’s quiet for a few moments, but Bucky knows better than to just hang up. “I have a flight for six tomorrow, or, I guess today.” He isn’t even slightly surprised, she’s truly Tony’s kid through and through.
“Alright doll, you better get packing, oh and Bambi?” She hums quietly, “Try and get a little bit of sleep?” He pleads softly.
Bambi giggles, it’s wet and broken, but a giggle nonetheless. “No promises Smudge.” Bucky rolls his eyes and bids her a goodnight, ignoring her dumb nicknames. Secretly, he loves them, but no one has to know that. Although he suspects she already might.
“So, you invited one of the super kids up for a few days?” Sam teases, “making yourself right at home there Buck.” Sam’s teasing smirk drops when Bucky hangs his head and takes a deep breath, steadying himself slowly.
It’s another ten seconds before Bucky feels the grief recede enough for him to look up again. “Uh, yeah, Bambi is having a rough few days, Pepper, Morgan and Peter are out of town and uh, kid’s really grieving.” Bucky leaves it at that, dropping his head again to avoid Sam’s gaze.
“Poor kid, of course she can come stay for a while, we’ve got space. I’ll uh, I’ll go let Sarah know.” Sam scratches the back of his neck, the taunts falling from his voice and sadness tinting the edges. They don’t really talk about Steve much anymore, it’s too fresh, too painful to do anything but joke about their mutual friend. They’ve both lost too many best friends in their lifetimes, but they’re not quite there yet to talk about it.
Bambi steps out of the airport looking all too much like an adult for Bucky’s liking. He remembers when she was some sassy sixteen year old, but now? She walks with purpose, heeled boots that climb halfway up her calves clacking on the pavement below. Her blue skinny jeans ripped just enough to let the salty air brush bare legs and the red flowery crop top she wears ties just above the end of her ribcage. She attracts attention, that’s for sure, and Bucky shakes his head fondly.
“Yeah Pete, I can see him, okay, yes love, I promise, alright, okay, I love you too.” Bucky’s sensitive hearing picks up her voice long before she’s close enough to be within ear shot for anyone else, gentle and loving as she says goodbye and hangs up the phone, tucking it into her back pocket before reaching out with two manicured hands for a hug that Bucky is too happy to return.
He squeezes her tight with his right arm, tousling carefully straightened hair with the left and ignoring the petulant ‘hey!’. “Doll it is good to see you.” Bucky murmurs, soaking in her gentle perfume and realizing it’s been too long, months at least. He and Sam got too tied up with the Flagsmashers to see anyone really.
“You too Buck, god I’ve missed you.” Bambi squeezes him tightly, carefully burying her face into his neck and breathing deeply before pulling back by half a step and swiping her fingers under her eyes, wiping away escaped tears and smudged eyeliner.
Bucky reaches around her, grinning, and grabs her suitcase in one hand, effortlessly swinging it into the back of Sam’s old pickup truck. “It’s been too long Kotenok, I should have called sooner.” Bucky half apologizes, opening the passenger side door for Bambi to get in. She gives him a dirty look, rolling her eyes and leaning forward to press a gentle, lipsticked kiss to his cheek.
“Don’t go blaming yourself Frosty, phones still work both ways you know?” She teases, rubbing the pink smear off of his cheek and climbing into the truck. Bucky smirks, shaking his head and walking around to the other side.
Getting in and starting the car, he pushes his guilt aside. “Glad you’re here.” And they’re off, stirring up dust along an old dirt road.
They pull into Sam’s driveway shortly after 10 in the morning, and Sam is sitting out on the porch waiting. He stands when they pull in, jogging down the steps to pull Bambi’s door open and grab her in a hug as soon as she steps out.
“Hey! There she is! How ya doin kiddo? If I can even call you that! Jesus lookatcha!” He spins her around and sets her back gently on the ground. Stepping back, he waves his arm up and down, gesturing to her.
Bambi blushes, tucking dark purple hair behind her ears and laughing. “Cut it out Sam! I’m the same dumbass you left in New York just more… purple.” She giggles, leaning up on her toes to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.
“Yeah I noticed that, what ya go through a mid-life crisis or something?” Bucky quips from behind her, grabbing her suitcase out of the truck bed and shooting Bambi a sarcastic smirk.
She rolls her eyes, “Hey! Better than keeping the same hairstyle for 80 years grandpa!” She snarks back, and Sam chokes on his laughter, “Can it bird boy, don’t think I didn’t notice how old that damn truck of yours is!” Bambi turns her sarcasm and arched eyebrow on him, and it’s Bucky’s turn to stifle chuckles
“Woah! Hey don’t insult Barbara like that! She’s just distinguished!” Sam jumps to the defence of his truck with a frown, rubbing her sideview mirror lovingly.
Bucky and Bambi stare at each other for a moment in shocked silence. Their faces deadpan for one, two, three seconds before Bucky cracks a smirk and Bambi dissolves into uncontrolled laughter.
“Y-You n-n-named your car B-Barbara!?!”
“Seriously man, Barbara?”
Sam gives them the finger.
“Samuel Thomas Wilson! That better not be the finger I think it is pointing at that young lady!” Sarah Wilson shouts her disapproval from the doorway and Sam immediately looks chastised, dropping his hand and lowering his head.
Bucky throws his arms up “C’mon Sarah what about me!?” He calls back, grinning.
“I have no doubt you deserved it!” Bambi laughs again, shaking her head and stepping past Sam and Bucky, sticking her tongue out at them as she passes on her way to shake Sarah’s hand.
Sarah waves her off with one hand before extending her arms. “None of that dear, we’re huggers!” She exclaims, pulling the younger woman into her arms. Bambi’s chest swells with joy as she hugs the lovely woman back.
“You must be Sam’s sister,” she begins, “I’m Bambi, I used to live with Sam when-“ Bambi’s smile wavers before she swallows hard and solidifies it again. “I used to live with Sam.”
She’s not dumb enough to assume Sarah missed her stutter, or the change in her mood, but Sam’s sister is kind enough not to mention it. “Yes, I’ve heard quite a bit about you, running the Avengers all by yourself is quite the task you’ve taken on, and at such a young age too! When I was 20 I was -“ Sarah cuts herself off with a look at the men who have reached the bottom of the stairs. “- well those are stories for another time, come on in, I apologize we don’t have another room for you, but that pullout couch in our office is all yours.”
“Thank you, Miss Wilson, that’s more than enough.” Bambi smiles graciously and nods when she’s told “call me Sarah”, following the woman into the house with both men close behind.
“So how’s the Spider-kid?” Sam asks, sometime later, after Sarah had settled Bambi in, and Bambi had changed into something more suited to the Louisiana summer, a flowing tank top and torn up jean shorts. She pulls her hair up into a messy bun before answering, pulling the elastic from around her wrist.
Patting her hair into submission, Bambi grins fondly down at her lemonade. “Pete’s good, he’s really good. He and May live full time in the tower, well, he lives half time in the tower, and he’s truly doing a fantastic job training the new Avengers. We’re actually thinking it might be time to get a dog.” Bucky and Sam share a glance before smirking to themselves.
“A dog eh? That’s a pretty big step.” Sam teases good naturedly, watching Bambi flush and try to cover it by taking a sip of her lemonade.
Bucky rolls his eyes, “At least she’s not afraid of commitment.” He snarks, pointedly taking a sip of his own glass.
“Says you Robocop!” Sam shoots back, and Bambi is happy to let them bicker and drop the topic of conversation at hand. She opens her phone, answering a few messages from Pepper and Peter, and enjoying the view of the ocean. The bickering fades into background noise as the gentle sea breeze hits them, stirring up the sand and bringing droplets of salty water through the air in a cool mist.
Suddenly, shrill little voices tear through the air, along with frantic footsteps, making all three of them jump. “Uncle Sam! Uncle Bucky!” Over and over, the two little voices shout as they get closer and Bambi’s eyebrows shoot into her hairline. Uncle Bucky? She looks over at the soldier who has a faint blush painting his cheeks.
“Heyyyyyy!” Sam calls to them, jumping up and lunging the two steps down the stairs to gather his nephews in his arms, entirely unbothered by the ‘uncle Bucky’ comment. “Where have you two been all day!” He play wrestles with them on the front lawn, letting them get in a few blows here and there.
Bambi nudges Bucky with her shoulder, “Uncle Bucky huh?” She asks
“Shut up.” Bucky mutters gruffly before transforming into a grin when the younger of the two, runs up to them.
The kid eyes Bambi but doesn’t hesitate when he grabs Bucky by his left arm. “Uncle Bucky! Come see what we found! You can come too Miss!” The kids enthusiasm is contagious and both Bucky and Bambi find themselves grinning along with him and joining in on the excitement.
“Cass, AJ, this is Bambi, she’s Bucky and I’s friend.” Sam introduces hastily, as he and Bucky are dragged down the stairs, Bambi close on their heels. The brothers politely mutter a ‘hi Bambi’ in sync before their excitement takes over again and the three adults are lead to the beach.
What’s waiting at the beach isn’t anything the three of them expected, instead of a cool crab, or some poor washed up animal, they find what looks like a knock off of Cap’s shield it’s dented and has what look like bloodstains covering the star, and the sight of it makes Bambi feel ill, dread bubbling up in her gut. Bucky and Sam share a look, and it’s not a good one.
“Boys, go back to the house, Bambi go with them.” Sam orders, dropping into his Cap voice easily, but Bambi doesn’t budge.
She turns to the two boys and casts them a reassuring smile, “boys, listen to your uncle, go find your mom.” Aj and Cass nod nervously before taking off. “I’m not going anywhere, what’s happening?” She straightens up and turns her full attention back to Bucky, who is flickering his gaze around in an eerily robotic way that reminds her too much of Winter.
“Just a hunch, but there’s this guy, John Walker, a real douchebag, convinced he’s deserving of the Captain America legacy, he took some knock off serum and disappeared, Bambi he’s dangerous, if he’s here, we’re in trouble.” Sam mutters lowly to her, scanning the people around them.
Bambi nods to herself, settling back on her heels and scanning the crowd, although she doesn’t quite know what she’s looking for. She knew there was supposedly a new Captain America, but she was honestly upstate at the time dealing with the New Avengers and it was over before she got home.
Movement catches their attention, someone emerging from the crowd of beach goers clad in a torn Captain America costume. It hurts Bambi to see, but she levels her shoulders, glaring at the man walking towards them .
“Gentlemen! And a little lady! What a pleasant surprise!” John Walker calls, throwing his arms out to the sides and grinning a coy smirk that sends a shiver down Bambi’s spine. She feels Bucky and Sam tense on either side of her, and Bucky takes a step forward, intentionally shielding her from his view.
Sam takes slow, measured steps towards Walker, “What’re you doing here John?” He calls, his voice low with a threat. Walker shrugs, continuing to amble forwards, his gaze levels on Bambi, staring her up and down in a way that makes her want to duck further behind Bucky.
“Heard there was a new and improved Captain America in town, thought I’d come see what he’s up to, apparently he’s pulling chicks half his age. I’ve gotta say Sam, I didn’t think you were into younger babes.” Walker stops a few feet in front of Sam, flickering his gaze over to the man instead of Bambi, and she’s almost grateful, if she wasn’t so horribly revolted.
Bucky snarls low under his breath and Bambi reaches out to place her hand on his back, letting him know it’s okay even though the filth she feels from his gaze will take more than a shower to wash off. “Hey c’mon man, she’s a kid, that’s disgusting!” Sam snaps. Bambi bites back a retort that she’s not a kid anymore, the way her skin crawls makes her pretty sure that her pride is the least of her worries.
“That is definitely not a kid, why don’t you come with me sweetheart, I’ll show you what a real superhero can do.” Walker swaggers forward further, holding his hand out towards Bambi, who finally gives in to her urge to step fully behind Bucky, peering around him with nervous eyes. “Aww! She’s shy!” Walker teases.
Bucky’s snarled “Shut the fuck up!” Catches Walker’s attention, his head jerking towards the super soldier trembling with anger, it rolls off of him in nearly tangible waves.
“Bucky! elequent as always!” Bucky bristles but stays silent, refusing to give the man in front of them any more ammunition than he already has.
Sam, on the other hand, has no such qualms. “What the hell do you want John?” He sounds bored, but Bambi can hear the tension underlying every word, he’s nervous, probably because his uniform and shield are back at the house.
“Simple, I want a rematch, you, you took that shield from me, it belongs to me!” Walker shouts, hitting his own chest with a dull thud.
Sam rolls his shoulders, a tell tale sign things are about to get a little messy. “No it doesn’t man, c’mon, just leave it alone!” But Walker isn’t listening, he stalks forward, seemingly intent on moving past Sam right towards the house that is just oh so close and Bambi feels panic claw up her throat thinking of those two little boys and Sarah alone, defenceless.
“That shield.” Bucky starts, commanding without shouting. “Belonged to Steve, and he gave it to Sam, he chose Sam, you don’t deserve what that shield stands for.” It hurts, hearing Steve’s name, but Bambi knows he’s right, just like she knows there is no way Walker is going to walk away.
Bambi reaches up to the silver pendent around her neck, the tree of life wrapped around a blue orb that seems to swirl in the sunlight, she grasps it gently between two fingers and twists it, the orb making a soft click before the blue drains from it, seeping into the necklace and spreading outwards. The silver of the necklace spreads too, glowing a blue hue as it covers her collarbones and down past her chest, slowly enveloping her in a silver armour.
“What the-“ Bucky, Sam and Walker freeze, their attention drawn to Bambi and her silvery blue armour that by now has covered every inch of her, the iron man style Helmut the last thing to come into existence only a few seconds after it began. In the centre of her chest sits a blue, glowing tree of life
Bambi turns to Walker, “Come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough.” Her voice, robotic and lilting, but still her voice, taunts Walker. Her confidence grows as she clenches her fist and feels the armour move with her, FRIDAY’s voice telling her they’re online is smooth in her ear. Bucky and Sam get over their shock first, turning their attention back to Walker and steadying themselves, one leg slightly back, fists up.
They wait for Walker to throw the first punch, but they’re ready. Sam ducks and drives a blow hard into his ribs, grunting when Walker catches the back of his neck in the process. But Walker doesn’t get much of a chance to hurt Sam, because Bucky grabs him by the arm and yanks him away from Sam, directly into his left fist.
Bambi engages the thrusters as Walker reaches around and flips Bucky over his arm, heading back towards Sam, she shoots forward, using the momentum to drive her open palm into his chest, sending him back a few feet. He yells, but recovers quickly, up and on his feet in a moment.
“Give it to me!” He screams, barrelling towards Bucky again. He fakes left and catches Bucky in the temple with a hard right hook, sending Bucky a few steps to the side. Sam ducks, swiping Walker’s legs out from under him, but Walker grabs him on the ay down, throwing Sam over his shoulder with strength Bambi usually only sees from Bucky or Steve. Sam hits the ground hard, grunting and rolling out of the way as Walker jumps to his feet and aims to drive a punch directly into his head.
Bambi fires a repulser blast that makes Walker stumble. “You don’t deserve it.” She snaps, swooping forward to catch him in an undercut and ducking under his next punch. It clips her face, the armour absorbing most of the blow but rattling her around a little more than she’s used to. And then Bucky is there, moving with inhuman speed and landing blow after blow. Walker isn’t the only one taking damage, and Bambi does her best to get around behind him, to grab him, but he keeps evading her grasp.
Sam rallies himself, clambering up and rushing the pair with a flying kick that makes Walker stumble and let go of Bucky. Bambi takes the opening to fire another repulser blast at the man, following it up with a roundhouse of her own, a roundhouse that Walker catches, and uses to throw her a good fifteen feet. She hits the ground hard before she has a chance to fire up her thrusters. She grunts and shoots herself back towards the fight.
“Move.” She snaps, watching Bucky and Sam duck quickly out of her way as she flies through Walker, taking him down hard and landing just over his head. He’s up again instantly, and turning his attention back to Sam. Bambi jerks and elbow back, catching him in the back of the head, he stumbles and Bucky takes the opportunity to punch him in the jaw, hard enough Bambi can hear a crack. Sam see’s Walker stumble, distracted and paying attention to Bucky, and uses that to deliver a hard kick to Walker’s chest.
Walker stumbles back into her, catching Bambi with a hard elbow to the temple and she instantly feels the blood begin to trickle, not fun. But she swipes his feet out from under him and steps hard on the arm closest to her when he hits the ground. It cracks, and Walker yells, but he doesn’t move to get up.
“You done?” Sam asks, huffing a deep breath and wiping blood from under his nose. Bucky stands beside him, leaning over Walker with cold eyes.
Bambi taps the tree in her chest and the helmet retracts from her face. “I can do this all day.” She smirks, feeling Steve leaning over her shoulder more than ever. Bucky’s lips turn up, the only sign he heard her speak at all.
“Okay, okay, I’m done. You’re right. I’m not good enough.” Walker practically weeps at their feet, blood pooling from his nose, lips, and various cuts. His suit is singed from the repulser blasts and Bambi knows those burns don’t heal nicely.
Bucky steps back. “No.” He says, “you’re not. Now get lost before we change our minds about letting you walk away.” It’s not an idle threat, and everyone knows it. Bucky means what he says, he’d rather take Walker out permanently then let him leave, but he won’t.
Walker scrambles to his feet, looking every bit like a man ashamed of himself, as he should be. He grabs his knock off shield, and Sam looks like he’s about to stop him, but shrugs and watches the man scamper away, tail tucked between his legs.
“So that was fun.” Bambi pants, raking metal fingers through her hair and wincing when it gets caught.
Sam points at her accusingly and shakes his head. “What the hell is that?” He asks breathlessly and drops his hand in exasperation. A look at Bucky tells her he’s thinking the same thing, but probably a little grumpier.
“Oh, uh, yeah, uhh, Tony he uh, when he, uh, he left it for me, for emergencies.” Bambi struggles to get out, pressing down hard on the tree and twisting her hand. As quickly as it appeared, the suit retracts back into the beautiful silver necklace.
Bucky’s lip twitches up in a smirk but he says nothing, and all Sam does is shake his head fondly, “course he did.” He chuckles, waving at them to follow him back towards the house, “of course he did.”
The three of them walk back to the house together with playful banter between Sam and Bucky, Bambi occasionally shoots her own insult or retort in, but for the most part she just listens, thinking back to Tony, to that video he left for her. A fail safe, he called it, and a final act, so he could always be with her, always protect her.
She keeps her eyes on the ground as Sam brushes off his sister’s concerns with a wide grin and a joke, at which she rolls her eyes and lands a playful punch to his shoulder. She keeps her eyes on the ground when Bucky places his hand on her back and escorts her towards a bathroom, ignoring the gashes on his cheek and forehead to gently dress her tiny forehead wound.
“I know you miss ‘im Doll” he murmurs to her, dabbing at the small cut on her temple with an alcohol swab. Bambi doesn’t even flinch at the sting, keeping her eyes down and ignoring the lump growing in her throat. “I know you miss all of ‘em.”
Once the small wound has stopped bleeding, and Bucky has placed a plaster across the widest point he takes both of her hands in his and squeezes them gently until she looks at him. “I miss them too.” He admits lowly.
“Let me clean you up.” Bambi mumbles, breaking out of her daze with a soft, not 100% there, smile. Bucky steps back from her, perching on the lid of the toilet and waiting as his younger friend flits about in a daze, wiping away the blood and patching up his wounds.
Her hands are delicate, but tremble when she says “I miss patching them up. I hated when they got hurt, but I was one of the only people Nat would let patch her up, and Tony and Steve were just as stubborn most of the time. It was special.”
“I know Darlin’, you always took care of ‘em.” Bucky lets her tape up an already healing gash before he stands and wraps his arms around her. Bambi leans into his hug, twisting her fingers into the back of his shirt and blinking hard against the onslaught of tears.
A knock on the door breaks them apart, “Sarah’s got something fixed up for lunch, you two coming?” Sam calls through the door.
“We don’t eat that kinda thing!” Bucky calls back, but opens the door nonetheless with a plastered on shit eating grin that doesn’t quite distract Sam from Bambi frantically wiping at tears.
She follows the two of them to the kitchen where, true to Sam’s word, Sarah has made up a spread of sandwiches, fresh fruit and veggies for the three of them. The boys are already at the table, snacking and laughing amongst themselves.
“Didn’t your mother ever teach you any manners?” Sam claps both boys gently over the head. “Guests first!”
Bambi shakes her head “Nah, let the kids have their lunch Sam, don’t be a buzzkill.”
“Yeah Sam! Don’t be a buzzkill!” Bucky is eager to bash Sam when Bambi gives him the opportunity.
“Can it Barnes and Noble!” Sam points at the two of them, swiping a carrot off of one of the boys plates.
Sarah smacks him over the head hard enough that Sam yelps. “Now I know our mama taught you better than that!”
Bambi laughs, picking up a plate and collecting various snacks for herself. “Mind if I sit here?” She asks AJ, who shakes his head at her. Bambi and Bucky settle in, Sam and his sister teasing back and forth as Sam hops up on the counter.
“You two keep coming back her bruised and battered, I’m gonna start charging a cleaning fee!” Sarah jokes lightly, taking a bite of her sandwich.
Bucky drops his head, looking a little guilty. “Sorry Sarah.” No quick remarks, just the slightest hints of shame.
“You keep tryna charge me you might just have to find someone else to fix that damn boat!” Sam snorts.
They fall into amicable silence, eating in peace. Bambi and Bucky clear the lunch dishes, while Sam takes his nephews outside to play. Their laughs are tinkling bells to Bambi’s ears, they remind her of Morgan, joyful and free.
“Bucky, when you’re done here do you mind coming to help me get some boat parts from the trunk?” Sarah asks, coming up behind them. Bambi watches curiously as he flashes her a genuine smile, drying his hands
“Sure thing Sarah.”
He turns to Bambi, who waves him off immediately. “I’ll be fine Smudge.” She reassures him, reaching out to pat his shoulder.
Bambi puts away the last of the dishes before making her way over to Sam and the two boys, playing what is clearly a game of ‘take down Captain America’, and with a smirk, she joins in, jumping up and onto his back.
“Oh not you too!” Sam yells, already laughing.
Later in the evening, after the boys had gone to bed and Sarah had disappeared back to the house to relax, Sam, Bucky and Bambi sat themselves on the docks, looking out at the inky ocean and breathing in the misty air. Sam and Bucky trade soft conversation, occasionally insulting one another over Bambi’s head while she stares silently ahead.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Sam asks, after a few moments of silence.
Bambi shrugs, how can she put into words the grief stabbing through her chest? How can she explain that after so many months she still hurts just as much as the day it all happened. No, she can’t put it into words, and it feels wrong to even try.
“C’mon kid, talk to me.” Bucky rumbles from beside her, throwing an arm around her shoulders. That does it, having Bucky’s familiar weight around her shoulders, his metal fingers curling around her, is enough for the floodgates to shatter.
Bambi burrows her face into his chest and sobs loudly. “I miss them! It hurts and- and I just want them back!”
“I know, I know, and you know, everything you’re feeling right now, this hurt, the abandonment, the grief, the anger-“ Bambi snaps her head up to look at Sam in shock, who cracks a sad smile. “Yeah kiddo I know all about the anger, but everything you’re feeling right now is valid, and it will all pass in time.”
Sam’s voice is gentle, low and reassuring and it only serves to make Bambi sob harder. “I’m s-s-o mad he left m-me!” She wails out, shame rolling in her stomach and heating her cheeks. “He said he never would!”
“Kotenok…” Bucky whispers softly, hugging her tighter and pressing a gentle kiss to her hair.
Bambi shudders, sniffing hard. His heartbroken voice is too much to stand. “We know how you feel, me and Buck, he won’t say it but we do.” Sam reassures her softly, reaching out to take her hand.
“He left me! Aft-er! After Nat and- and Tony! He still left!” Bucky makes a pained noise, and Sam squeezes her hand.
Sam shushes her softly, “I know he did, and I know that hurts, but Steve, he loved you okay? Don’t forget that.” Bambi huffs, pulling away from Bucky to wipe her eyes and sniffle hard again. She nods.
“I know that,” her voice cracks, “I do, I really do.” She’s pleading at Bucky now. “I really, I know Stevie loved me, and-and I know he loved you, and, and Sam-“
“Shh Doll, I know, Darlin’ he loved all of us and I know that. I know why you’re mad, and Sweetheart, I’m mad too.” Bucky reaches up to gently wipe away her tears, and Bambi’s heart warms. Bucky isn’t mad at her, he understands, he feels the same. It’s okay.
Fresh tears break free. “I loved him so much.” She sniffles, wiping roughly at them. Bucky clucks softly, taking her hands in one of his and using his thumb to brush the tears away.
“I know Kotenok, me too.” He admits.
Sam, who has been sitting silently, squeezes her hand again and draws her attention back to him. “As much as this hurts right now, it’s going to get better. Tony, Nat, Steve, they all loved you so much, and they would be so proud of the woman you’re becoming, okay kid?”
Bambi only nods, her breath stolen by a new lump in her throat.
“And if you ever start feeling like this, overwhelmed, you tell us okay? You tell us and you come here, with me or Buck, you’re always welcome.” Sam reassures her firmly, and Bambi nods again, pulling away from Bucky to lean into Sam’s waiting arms.
It’s Bucky’s turn to rub her back soothingly, the chill of the metal hand feels nice against her overheated skin, both from crying and from the hot Louisiana sun. “We’re always here for ya, always.” He rumbles with finality.
Bambi sits like that for another little white, silent and soaking up the warmth, kindness and love from her friends, letting her tears run dry into Sam’s shirt. She’s not sure how long she sits, but eventually, her eyes flutter closed and stay there.
She awakens shortly to bright lights, and someone hushing her softly. “Don’t worry Sweetheart, you’re safe.” Bucky’s voice vibrates through his chest against her arms. Bambi lets herself drift against his shoulder, keeping her eyes closed and snuggling closer to his warmth.
When she wakes up again, it’s to the sounds of young laughter and play fighting, she rolls over in a bed that smells of Bucky, and yawns. Slowly sitting up, Bambi looks around and realizes for the first time just how at home Bucky has become here. His clothes fill the closet, and he has a framed picture of him and Steve on his bedside, along with a multitude of photographs on the dresser, Bambi notes she’s in far more than one of them.
She pads down the hallway towards the source of the noise and a smile graces her face. Bucky is in the middle of the living room, holding AJ and Cass by his metal arm, sipping coffee with the other hand and occasionally raising or wiggling the metal arm around, drawing yells from the boys.
“Well good morning!” Bambi calls, walking past the three of them to where Sam and Sarah sit at the kitchen table, sunlight casting a yellow glow across them both.
Sam is up immediately, passing her a mug of coffee with a dash of cream. “Sleep well?” He asks, sitting back down. Bambi sits beside Sarah, smiling and nodding as she takes another sip.
“Well, if you give me a hand with breakfast you’re welcome to stick around for another few days.” Sarah shoots her a wink that Bambi returns, reaching up with fix her hair and taking another sip of coffee before she stands.
Bucky laughs, “Already extorting your guests?” He calls, giving his arm another shake and eliciting more shrieks from the boys.
“It’s not extortion Smudge! It’s called being a good guest!” Bambi shoots back, helping Sarah carry over a few plates to the table and setting them out.
Sam laughs loudly, “Smudge!? Oh that one is sticking around!”
“Look what you’ve done now!” Bucky complains, pointing an accusing finger at Bambi.
She crosses the kitchen to place an unapologetic kiss to his cheek and takes his coffee mug. “Stop whining you big baby and come have breakfast.”
Bambi stays for three more days, helping Sarah with the kids and helping Sam and Bucky with the boat where she can, although admittedly she’s mostly moral support. Eventually though, homework does catch up with her and she has to bid them goodbye. With big hugs, and promises to visit again soon, Bambi boards her flight back to New York.
When she lands, her phone goes off with a message from Smudge
Smudge: Text when you land.
Smudge: And come back soon, we already miss you
Smudge: *attached image*
A picture of Sam, Sarah, Bucky and the boys, or rather, a selfie, which quickly becomes her new background.