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The Jackals beat the Adlers.
Which means it’s only necessary to have a massive fucking celebration party, get Onigiri-Fuckin’-Miya to cater, and invite the losers.
”Sakkun! Will you be alright with the crowds?” Hinata, sweet little Hinata, who immediately becomes very not-sweet after a few screwdrivers, asks Sakusa.
Sakusa sends him a pointed glare, “I’ll be fine, Hinata-kun.”
Hinata’s cheeks turn bright red— aw —and he waves his hands around in the air, “Ah! You can drop the honorific! We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Sakusa rolls his shoulders backward in shrug-like fashion, “Sure thing, Hinata.”
Hinata’s still in awe by the time they get back to the hotel to change and shower, and Atsumu’s getting a hell of a kick out of it. The kid looks like a starstruck little teenager meeting their idol for the first time.
Atsumu’s glad he’s still starstruck, because nothing about Omi-kun, Omi-Omi, Prickly-Sea-Urchin-Sakusa-Kiyoomi is appealing to the eye.
(That’s a lie. Sakusa is hot.)
You can’t expect Atsumu, crowned the biggest flirt on the team just above Inunaki, to not think he’s hot. Sure, he might have had an obsession with Clawd Wolf rather than Kieran Valentine, but a guy can change.
He sits on his bed naked and stares at the clothes in his suitcase, praying for an outfit to come to mind.
Omi’d know what to wear.
With that thought, he asks Sakusa what he’s wearing to the ‘party thing’ tonight.
to Omi-kun
ayo omi whatre u wearin to the party thing tonight????
He taps his foot against the carpeted floor and waits for his sarcastic resp—
Aw hell yeah.
from Omi-kun
[Picture Attached]
There.
Atsumu opens the photo and his mouth goes dry. Literally dryer than Meian’s texts. That’s saying a lot.
Sakusa Kiyoomi is wearing a white button-down and dark jeans and Atsumu thinks this is going to be the death of him.
to Omi-kun
looks kinda hard to take off though ://
from Omi-kun
You can ask ur mom tomorrow morning whether or not it was easy to take off.
What.
What.
What the actual everliving fuck.
Sakusa uses ‘ur mom’ jokes.
Atsumu then realizes he’s still naked and should probably put on some clothes before Hinata walks in and gets fucking traumatized.
He also realizes that Hinata’s literally twenty-one and has probably done the deed before. He probably shouldn’t think about Hinata doing the deed.
He finds a black button-up instead, because he does not want to match with Sakusa, and dark jeans. He cuffs them twice so everyone will know he’s open to anything, and strides out the door.
Bokuto’s wearing fuckin’ cargo shorts.
Atsumu takes three pictures from three different angles.
Hinata, the little bastard with the best style out of the team, has on a fucking turtleneck.
Inunaki’s got a brightly-patterned baggy button-up on right now, and weirdly enough, it suits him.
”Meian, Barnes, and Thomas are already in the car.” Here comes Sakusa in all his godlike glory, walking down the hall like he owns the place. Atsumu won’t admit that cowers a little.
”Let’s get goin’ then!” He cheers, and makes a break for the doors at the front of the hotel.
The venue is really nice, almost too nice. Theres a full bar, with multiple bartenders so you can probably get any drink in existence, a dance floor, a hotass DJ, Kageyama Tobio, and basically every other player in the so-called monster generation.
Atsumu’s a little scared, because Ushijima Wakatoshi is standing over by the bar looking like he’s prepared to blow up the place. Still, Atsumu finds it in himself to walk over to the bar and order an old-fashioned, ‘cause he’s a sucker for whiskey.
Sakusa’s holding what seems to be a mai tai, and Atsumu snorts. Sakusa Kiyoomi drunk off his ass is a sight to behold. Granted, it’s a sight he saw on video, because during off-season he was out visiting his mom. The video was filmed by Bokuto, of course, and in it, Sakusa’s mask was on his hair and he was attempting to recite Nicki Minaj’s ‘Starships’ from memory.
Atsumu ugly laughed at that video. Hilarious.
”Atsumu-san?” Hinata. Sweet little Hinata, who’s currently holding a screwdriver in his right hand. Tonight’s about to be good.
”Yes, Shokkun?”
Hinata sips his drink and grimaces, “Sakkun’s drinking a mai tai.”
Atsumu glances at Sakusa, who’s now faced his back toward them, probably talking about different spikes with Barnes, “I see. What about it?”
”Sakkun gets… crazy when he drinks. He’s a lightweight. Really bad one, too.”
There’s a weird feeling of giddiness in Atsumu’s chest, “I can’t wait to see it then.”
Hinata purses his lips until something catches his eye over Atsumu’s shoulder, and he’s off bouncing toward whatever human being he’s chosen to be friends with for the night.
When Atsumu turns around to scan the room, Sakusa’s staring directly at him. Atsumu smirks a little, and walks toward him with a little more sway in his hips than usual. Puttin’ on the charm.
”Omi-kun. How’re ya feelin’?” He eyes him, paying gross attention to the way his pants make his butt look reaaaaaal good.
“Fine. You?”
Atsumu chuckles, “Ya’ve never been one to care about my wellbeing. Drunk already?”
Atsumu sees the tips of Sakusa’s ears flush a faint pink.
”No.”
”Okay then. You have yer fun, I’m gonna go dance until my ass falls off.”
As Atsumu’s walking away, he hears Sakusa yelling at him, “That only works if you have an ass to begin with.”
The dance floor’s kinda gross, a little stuffy, smells vaguely of sweat, but the whiskey in his drink settles warm in his chest, so he feels pretty good. He should have paced himself though, there are probably cameras everywhere.
Atsumu does shake his ass until he feels like it’s gonna fall off. His calves are on fire, same with his quads, and he finds himself draping an arm over Inunaki, who is evidently way shorter than him and already struggling with holding his own body up.
”Need help?” He asks breathlessly, face just two inches away from being lodged in Atsumu’s sweaty armpit.
Atsumu nods, and Inunaki plops him down in a booth right next to the dance floor.
“Why’re you here?”
Great. Inunaki’s disappeared so Atsumu has absolutely no protection for what’s about to come.
Atsumu gives Sakusa a (hopefully) sexy smile, “I’m doin’ great, Omi-Omi, how ‘bout yerself?”
“Ask your mom.”
Atsumu chokes on his fucking spit.
”Wha—What?”
Sakusa smiles, and that’s when Atsumu realizes his mask is pulled down to his chin, “I said, ask your mom.”
”Okay— yeah I got that part, but what.”
Apparently, Sakusa decides not to answer and instead waits until both Hinata and Inunaki come running over and fall into the booth.
”Sakkun!” Hinata smiles after nearly knocking over Sakusa’s empty glass, “Was your mai tai good?”
Sakusa sighs, “I need another one.”
Almost on queue, Inunaki sprints off toward the bar and comes back, mai tai in hand, sliding it over the table toward Sakusa. Atsumu watches in pure awe as Sakusa absolutely fucking chugs this drink, and slides the glass back toward Inunaki, who has the most shit-eating grin on his face.
“I feel like y’all know somethin’ I don’t.” Atsumu mutters awkwardly while glancing between Inunaki and Hinata.
”We do. Hey Sakusa, you drunk?”
Sakusa blinks, “I can feel my intestines repositioning, so, yes.”
There’s a split second of silence on Atsumu’s part, because he realizes, that holyshitOmi’sdrunkwhatishegonnado and then promptly looks at Hinata for guidance.
Hinata only graces him with a soft smile, “Sakkun—“
”Sakkun deez nuts.”
Holy shit.
”Hey Omi-kun did I ever tell ya yer the best teammate ever?” Atsumu grins, hoping for a little more emotion to escape Sakusa’s detached demeanor.
”Did I ever tell you I fucked your mom?”
“Jesus christ—“
”Atsumu-san, there’s so much more.” Hinata assures him with a pat on the shoulder.
Meian sends them all a knowing look from across the room that must mean ‘I know he’s fucked but I’m definitely not doing shit about it’ and Atsumu just stares at Sakusa who’s cheeks are beautifully flushed.
It is at this exact moment that Ushijima is going around the room to make conversation and Atsumu gulps audibly when he stops at their table. This is when I die. Yup.
”How’re you all doing tonight? Miya, you performed exceptionally well during the match, well-deserved.”
Atsumu opens and closes his mouth like a fish for a little, because, woah.
”Thank you, Ushiwaka! Means a lot.”
Ushijima nods and looks at Sakusa, and Atsumu notices his entire demeanor changing. What the fuck is going on tonight.
”And you, Kiyoomi-kun?”
Sakusa looks up, the tiniest glint in his eyes, “Good, good. Hey, your dad lives in California, right?”
Ushijima’s brows furrow a little, “Yes.”
”Oh! Then he must know Candice.”
Atsumu’s stomach does a flip when he gets the joke, and he bites his tongue so hard he tastes blood.
”Who?”
”Candice dick fit in yo mouth.”
There’s laughter all around the table except from Ushijima’s side, and he decides to make everything collectively worse by asking, “Well— I would rather not find out.”
”Holy shit!” Inunaki cackles, “God, I love this so much. This is the tip of the iceberg.”
Ushijima bows awkwardly and walks away, all the while Atsumu, Inunaki, and Hinata are cackling like hyenas.
”What’re you guys laughing about?!” Here comes Bokuto, who’s somehow lost his shirt, linking arms with Akaashi Keiji?
”Sakusa’s got the shittiest sense of humor!” Inunaki motions eagerly for him to sit down, “Just wait.”
Sakusa squints at them for a moment, his lips parted and a little shiny with spit, “Hey Bokuto-san, what’s that one band you like?”
”I have a lot! Waterparks, Imagine Dragons, Th—“
”Imagine dragon deez nuts across your face.”
Bokuto immediately shuts his mouth and stares at Sakusa in fear. Akaashi snorts into his bare chest and smiles with the prettiest teeth Atsumu’s ever seen.
”Oh my god.” Bokuto gapes.
”Yep!” Hinata snorts, running a hand through his hair.
Barnes stumbles over and leans his entire front on the table, “Hey guys.”
Sakusa’s smirking now, “You ever been to sawkon?”
”Huh?”
“Sawkon deez nuts.”
Atsumu’s not sure whether it’s the completely blank expression, or Sakusa’s dead tone, or the fact that he’s making ‘deez nuts’ jokes at twenty-two years old that’s making him laugh his ass off, but it’s amazing.
”Okay, Sakusa, it’s time to go.” Meian’s standing over all of them, a stressed crease between his brows.
”To your mom’s house.”
”No, come on, get up.”
”Meian-san, what’s that thing that goes in a case, has a cover, and you can play it in cars? I really need to know.”
Meian rubs his face, looking the most distressed Atsumu’s ever seen him, “CD’s?”
”C deez nuts.”
”Up. Now. One of you get him up. We’re going.”
Barnes ends up sticking a hand under his armpit while Atsumu supports his back and leads him out of the building. It actually feels really good going outside, it’s more quiet, less sweaty, and a little cold.
”Atsumu. Hey Atsumu. Y’ever been to sugondes?” Sakusa slurs, tipping his head back to make eye contact with Atsumu.
He bites back a smile, “What’s that, Omi-kun?”
Sakusa smiles, a stupid, lazy smile, “Sugondes nuts.”
Meian groans from behind them, “Get him away.”
”He’s not hurting anyone!” Claims Hinata, who’s somehow gotten another screwdriver and is sucking it down like it’s nothing.
They eventually end up shoving Sakusa into the limo, and clamber in after him. Tomas, appointed the DD, sighs and slides into the front seat.
”We’re goin’ back to the hotel, ‘kay Omi?” Atsumu peers at Sakusa’s eyes, which are now looking a lot heavier than they did inside. Awe, he’s a sleepy drunk.
”I’ll be goin’to your mom’s house.” His voice is a little slurred, a little quiet, and Atsumu can’t help but smile at how cute he is.
”Atsumu.” Sakusa gasps, “Do— do you like Wendy’s?”
”What?”
”When deez nuts hit yo forehead.” He giggles a little, and it’s kind of high-pitched, kind of reallyfuckinadorable.
Atsumu’s full-on grinning now, fuck how vulgar Sakusa’s being, it’s cute.
”Guys!” Sakusa yells, eyes blown wide, “My friend Howard is really mean.”
”Who’s Howard?” Inunaki asks, resting his chin on his palm.
”Howard deez nuts tasting in yo mouth?”
They make it back to the hotel due to sheer luck and the power of friendship (Tomas is a good driver) and Atsumu’s suddenly labeled ‘the one who has to take Sakusa to his room’ and he’s freaking out a little.
They’re taking the elevator, thank god, but Sakusa’s flopping around like a fucking dying fish and Atsumu cannot hold in his laughter.
“Atsumu.” Kiyoomi murmurs, “You remind me of my friend, their name is— is stigma.”
Atsumu snorts, “Oh really?”
”Stigma balls in your mouth.”
The doors beep open and Atsumu manages to drag Sakusa out of the elevator without getting his arm clawed off, so that’s a win in his book. Sakusa’s like a really muscular Gumby in some ways, he’s doing something with his back that Atsumu would consider fucking dangerous.
”Okay, Omi, this is yer room.”
”This is your mom’s room.”
”No—okay, yer makin’ this real hard, just get some rest.”
”I will after I fuck your mom.”
Atsumu barks a laugh, “Omi! It’s late, stop— stop it.”
”I’ll stop right after you sugma.”
”Stop it—“
”Sugma balls.”
”Omi-kun! No!”
”That’s not what your mom said last night.”
“You didn’t see my ma last night!”
”Yeah, ‘cause deez nuts were blocking my view.”
Atsumu shushes him into the room, “That doesn’t even make sense.”
Somehow, for some odd reason, he managed to get Sakusa to shower and actually get in bed with minor deez nuts and your mom’s, which is another win in his book.
Sakusa walks into the dining hall with usual bedhead and is met with excited stares.
”Why’re you looking at me like that?”
Atsumu snickers, “Why don’t ya ask yer mom, Omi-kun?”
There’s a couple laughs from around the room before Sakusa’s eyes widen in realization.
”Fuck you.”
”Sorry, Omi, yer mom did that last night.”
”That’s disgusting.”
Inunaki pipes up, “Yeah! Almost as disgusting as Dustin!”
Sakusa glares, “What?”
”Dustin deez nuts off yo chin, Sakusa-san!”
“I want you all to die.”
“Not before you ligma!” Hinata giggles.
”Oh god.”
”Ligma balls, Sakkun!”
Sakusa groans, “Fuck you all. Fuck you. I wish you didn’t exist. Why did god curse me.”
“Hey Omi-kun—“
”I will smother you in your sleep.”
”Yer a great spiker.”
”Oh.”
”Ya’d be better if ya new what D was.”
“Is D a spiking technique? I swear I’ve researched them all—” He cuts himself off and stares at the floor.
Atsumu grins as horror melts into Sakusa’s expression.
“Please no.”
”Deez nuts.”