Chapter Text
be weir : where the fuck is my boyfriend
Foxy : Which one?
dracurory : i just saw u 5 mins ago
be weir: no not you, the one we share sarah
heather kinnie : ah, the midpoint of our v of a polycule
dracurory : the one who binds us all <3
be weir: y e s which is why I would like him back, please and thank you
dracurory : don't you guys usually walk to school together?
be weir: yeah but I waited outside his house for like 10 mins today until his dad walked out and told me he had apparently already left
be weir: so there I am, walking to school, sad, alone, boyfriendless
dracurory : rude
be weir: rory we both know you don't show up for first period I figured you were still asleep
dracurory : valid babe
Foxy : a n y w a y
be weir: right so
be weir: walking to school, sad alone, boyfriendless
heather kinnie: you already said that part
be weir: it bears repeating
be weir: I get to homeroom, expecting to chew him out and tell him he's officially been demoted to my second favorite boyfriend
dracurory : this does not seem like healthy polycule behavior but I would like a promotion
be weir : but he's not there so im like?? OK pop off king but next time you ditch take me with you
Foxy : lmao felt that
heather kinnie: @Foxy wanna ditch with me queen?
Foxy : erica please
be weir: so it's currently second period and I've texted him like 10 times and no response
Be weir: I know he wouldn't just disappear like this for no reason and according to his dad he's not at home so I have no idea where he is
Foxy: fuck he's been kidnapped again hasn't he
heather kinnie: o o f
dracurory : god dammit
dracurory : every god damn week with him
be weir: I ALREADY HAVE TO SHARE HIM WITH SARAH AND NOW I HAVE TO SHARE HIM WITH EVERY SUPERNATURAL CREEP IN TOWN WHO WANTS TO STEAL HIS BRAINS
heather kinnie : every kidnapper in whitechapel wants to join our polycule soooo bad
dracurory : can't u like,, magic track him or smthn
be weir : idk probably not on my own but I can ask grams? I bet she knows
heather kinnie : okay but don't sound like a complete asshole when you ask
Foxy : yeah I'd rather not have the rescue of our boyfriend turn into another lesson about respecting your elders
be weir : w o w
dracurory : so are you going to wait until after school orrrrr
be weir : i guess I should probably go now??? Like he wasn't in his house this morning and he's not here or answering my messages so we should probably like
be weir : fix that
Foxy : I do like the idea of my boyfriend not being in the hands of some unknown supernatural creature
heather kinnie : yeah, you would prefer for him to be in the hands of a KNOWN supernatural creature
Heather kinnie: namely you
Foxy : erica please
dracurory : babe I can run you home? It's the fastest way probably and I truly do not give a single shit about being here
be weir: yesss favorite boyfriend behavior right here
Foxy: wow what a cool thing to say when your other boyfriend might be dead
heather kinnie: he nearly dies once a week we all cope differently sarah
be weir: anyways I'll update you on the situation!!
be weir : great news!
Foxy: oh thank god
be weir : also bad news. Which one do you want first?
dracurory : hi I'm also here, you should pick the good first
Foxy : uh, bad?
be weir: too bad, I have to say the good first
dracurory : told you
Foxy : I hate both of you
be weir : tracked Ethan! It took a while to get all the spell components and everything, which is why it took so long for the update
be weir: seriously i don't know why grams insists on only harvesting fresh grave dirt when half the time stale works just fine
heather kinnie: "stale"
Dracurory: we also had to break into e's room and get a piece of his hair which is hard because we all know he hasn't touched a hair brush since sixth grade
Foxy: cool, really don't care
be weir: right
be weir : that's not the full good news anyways!! the tracking spell only works if you're alive! Which means ethan is !
be weir : alive, that is
be weir : it also means I can't use it on you undead polycule members, so try not to get kidnapped as much as he does
heather kinnie : that's pretty much impossible honestly
be weir : lmao ikr
be weir: but basically! The bad news is he is in an abandoned building across town and it seems scary as shit so I would like a vampire or two to come protect lil frail human benny pwease 🥺
heather kinnie : cursed
heather kinnie : you're not even human
heather kinnie : witches are a separate thing right? I refuse to be in a polycule with humans
be weir : erica please
Foxy : yeah yeah we'll be there just send me the address
be weir: yessss rescue mission is a gooooo
i see(r) : *injuredselfie.jpg* I lived bitcj
heather kinnie : yeah we know we rescued you like 3 hours ago
i see(r) : I just woke up let me have this
dracurory : want me to catch you up on everything you missed?
i see(r): I was only gome for lije a day rigjt? Sure ig kmao
dracurory : OK so I'm officially benny's favorite boyfriend
i see(r) : harsh
dracurory : yup and
dracurory :.
dracurory : yeah that's pretty much it
i see(r) : wow grest thx sm
heather kinnie : lmao benny come collect your man
heather kinnie : or better yet sarah it's always more fun to watch u yell at him
Foxy : I'll yell at him after he explains how he got kidnapped this time
i see(r) : id's not my fault :((
Foxy: sure that's why you're not explaining
i see(r) : mo realy those hunters are dumb as ship
heather kinnie: dumb as ship
Dracurory: ship
I see(r): fu
be weir : okay but how did they find you at all
i see(r) : wait hold on this will take a min and I'm still slightly concussed I think so spelling id hars
>hear strange noise outsife, sounds like n animal or smthn
>grab bat and go to investifate
>see a dude, think he's breaking into my house
*ohshitmybabysisterisinthere.jpg*
>scuffle ensues
heather kinnie : "scuffle"
i see(r) : shhgb hh lemme finish
>I touch his arm
>get vision of him, realize je's a bampire slayer
*ohshit3/5ofmypolyculeisavampire.jpg*
>he thinjs I'm a vampire for spme reason???
>kidnaps me
>realizes I'm actially a seer
>freaks the fuck out
>continues to hold me hodtage while he figures out what to do
>is confused as to why I "smelled like vamp" if I'm not pne
dracurory : do vampires even smell like anything??
i see(r): SHJHGHHHH lemme finizh
>realizes i must at least know one
>tries to get me to reveal you all
>is an asshole and won't give me McDonald's even tho I tolf him id pay him bacfk:(
>I am rescued!!
All in all one of my least exciting kidnappings ngl
be weir : wow ok
heather kinnie : why did you have to write ur kidnapping story like a green text
i see(r) : srry my traums posting wasn't to yur aesthetics
dracurory : ethan this is just tuesday for you
i see(r) : fixk its tuesday?
be weir : yeah??
i see(r): dude we have thit emglish project tm :(
dracurory : cringe
Foxy : haha rip lmao
heather kinnie : I fucking hate this polycule
Foxy : but babe 🥺
heather kinnie : not you Sarah you're a delight