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It was a warm summer day. The sun was shining with a soft breeze brushing through the vibrant green grass and Buckwheat surrounding the farm.
Varian didn't have some big project he was working on once, nor did his father have chores for him to do.
It was just a peaceful day…but he was stressed out of his mind.
He wasn't really one to sit quietly and soak up the sun. he can't sit still. He needs to constantly work with his hands and constantly be trying to solve some problems. Otherwise, his thoughts take a turn for the worse.
It's no secret what he's done in the past. It's no secret that no matter what he does, the kingdom will always have that uneasiness in their eyes. What if he turns on them again? What if something snaps? He was only fourteen and managed to cause so much damage. What is he capable of now that he is a fully grown man?
He buried his face in his hands with a sigh as Ruddiger helped himself to the apple from his lunch.
Rapunzel has told him many times that the kingdom forgave him, that he should stop beating himself up, but the feeling of regret and guilt will always lay heavily on his heart.
How can anyone forgive him when he can't forgive himself?
This. this is why he shouldn't be allowed to be alone with his thoughts.
He stood up and kicked a rock on the ground, scuffing up his boot with dirt.
It's not from a lack of trying. He racked his brain for ideas, but he's just been drawing a blank. No ideas, no motivation. He was just tired.
His father suggested taking some time off to recuperate, but it just made him feel worse.
He lifted his head and looked out at the now wall-less Old Corona and the beauty that went far beyond it.
Many times he considered crossing the border, running away, and try to pretend that his past didn't haunt his dreams every night. But he couldn't do that to his dad. He needed him, Rapunzel needed him, he was the royal engineer, he shouldn't take the title lightly.
….still sometimes he wondered maybe everyone would be better off if he just left...
"Varian." a voice broke through the quiet, being warm and silky like his favorite hot chocolate.
"Cass." he greeted, turning to the older woman with a small smile, "What do I owe this pleasure?"
Cass frowned and walked over to him, "What's wrong?"
"huh? w-what do you mean? I'm fine." He took a shaky breath, refusing to meet her eyes.
"You haven't gone to your lab in days." She placed her hand on his shoulder, "Raps said you weren't feeling well, so I came to check on you."
Varian felt his face heat up from her touch. He knew she didn't touch freely, only to those she feels comfortable with, so he soaked up the warmth from her hand and laid his own on top of hers.
They stayed like that in silence for a few minutes before Varian let out a sigh and turned to face her. He lifted his head and let out a quiet gasp from how close they were.
She was staring at him with that soft look that he's only seen a few times before, even fewer when directed at him.
She was really pretty. He could stare at her all day, and the whole world could float around them, and he wouldn't care.
He was broken from his gaze when she removed her hand, and her expression grew one of irritation. Was she talking to him?
"Varian, look, we all care about you, and we are worried." She ran a hand through her ebony, curly locks, causing him to be distracted at the movement.
"You haven't been yourself recently…" she said quietly.
"And you're worried I'll relapse." he blurted out without meaning to, the floaty feeling he was feeling when he looked at her suddenly meeting gravity.
"What?" Cass asked, startled, "Of course not!"
"Scared I'll be the big scary villain once again." He continued, ignoring her protests, "Don't worry, I'd be worried too."
She was silent, taking in his words before stepping closer to him, "You're scared of falling into the darkness again."
She frowned as he didn't respond and gently took his hand, intertwining their fingers, and gave it a soft squeeze.
"I was doing fine." he finally spoke, his voice wobbly with emotions, "I thought I finally gotten past it...the nightmares lessened, but then.."
She rubbed his arm, her grasp on his hand firm, as she tried to encourage him to continue.
"a few weeks ago, I ran into someone. It was an accident. I was carrying a large doodad for my invention, she was carrying a basket of groceries, and we just bumped into each other." He let out a soft, humorless chuck, "innocent enough…."
He closed his eyes, "I apologized, offered to pay for new groceries...then she said…" he hesitated and swallowed hard, "She said she "wouldn't want to be in debt to a terrorist."
Cassandra's eyes widened, and her grip on his hand grew tighter, but neither cared.
"I tried to explain that it was years ago and I changed…" he wetted his lips and closed his eyes, "She...she just said "people don't change they just learn to hide," and she stormed away from me."
"She doesn't know what she's talking about." Cass said firmly, "It's usually people who need to change who refuse to believe others can."
"I got comments like that before, but it's gotten less and less. I thought I finally proved myself...but this encounter... it struck a nerve." He closed his eyes, "The nightmares came back...the voice in my head started to get louder...I lost motivation to work, I lost my appetite…" he pulled away from her and tried to hide the tears forming in his eyes, "I'm terrified that she's right and one day I'll just...snap and hurt the people I love. My dad, Eugene, Rapunzel...you."
Cass was stewing in anger and shook her head before striding up to him and took his face in her hands, her eyes blazing as she forced him to have blue meet green. "She was wrong." she stated firmly, "You are the nicest person I know...and Raps is my best friend. you care about people and this kingdom." she gently rubbed her thumb against his cheek, "And most importantly, you don't give up on people because you know what it's like to fall into the darkness."
"Yes, but-" he was cut off with her finger on his lips, causing him to meet her eyes again.
"Varian, you are not going to fall again." she promised, "I won't let you, just like I know you wouldn't let me. We have gone through things no one understands but us...and because of that, we will be there to catch the other."
"It didn't work last time I tried to save you." he took a step back, regret all over his face, "I just made it worse."
"No." Cass shook her head, "You did save me...I just was too blind and stubborn to believe it." she smiled at him, "You are the reason I remembered all I had to lose...you reminded me I wasn't alone...and I am going to do the same for you."
They stood in silence for a moment, both processing what she said.
Varian looked up at her shyly, "Thank you...for saying that."
"I mean it, Varian...you don't need to worry about what grumpy lady had to say...just be the unique and kind man I've grown to care for," she whispered the last part, taking a step closer to him, wrapping her arms around his next.
He automatically wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her, his face burying into the crook of her next, "Thank you, Cassie."
She rubbed his back, her face reddening from how close they were, "Always…" she promised, as they slowly pulled away, their faces inches from the other.
Varian licked his lips and flickered his eyes to her lips, causing the pink on Cassandra's cheeks to redden even more, "You know...I care about you too." he whispered.
"I know," she replied softly, but before she could say anything else, a warm heaviness landed on her lips.
She let out a soft gasp before his eyes slowly closed, and she pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.
Varian was in bliss. He knew that this feeling wouldn't go away, but with someone who cares and understands him so well by his side, things might be okay.