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John tries to act normally, he plays with the kids, helps her around the house. There's something off but he won't tell her anything.
They've been together for 17 years and though they've had their ups and downs they're always unconditional to each other. They just overcame a rough batch that almost ends up in divorce and if there's something they learned from that lesson is that if there's anything wrong the best is to talk it out. Whether it is about their marriage, work, children, friends, home, business. John and Veronica were, before husband and wife, best friends, and she feels hurt that he doesn't trust in her this time.
"Is he cheating?" She wondered in her mind. Thinking that could be the only thing he would keep for himself, but why would he do it now just when things between them just started to work again? Also, he rarely comes home late and sleeps with her every night. In fact, her only suspicion is his weird attitude and also his lack of libido lately. She found it unusual knowing his high sex drive. It's him who usually persuades her into making love but lately, he just kisses her goodnight and shifts to sleep - by the way, with the help of sleeping pills she found hiding in the drawer of his nightstand-
Today Veronica had decided she's had enough of this. She was going to take the truth out of him.
That night during dinner everything, as usual, he was quiet while she and the kids led most of the conversation. She thought it was best to wait until bedtime when the kids were asleep and keep the conversation away from their hearing as she's not sure if things are going to turn bad.
///////
"So how was your day?" Veronica asked John once they got into bed ready to sleep.
"Nothing. The recording was exhausting as usual" John sighed, laying by his wife's side.
"Want to chat about it while I rub you back?" Veronica ran her fingers on his chest suggestively.
"N-no, It's ok. I'm too tired, I just want to sleep, Honey. Good night" John kissed her softly but then Veronica tried to intensify it sliding her tongue in his lips. At first, he tried to respond with the same passion but he could only do it for a few seconds before he broke the kiss abruptly.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm not in the mood I need to rest" He said right after and laid down next to her, turning his back at his wife.
Veronica felt her heart shrink for his distancing.
"John please, what's going on?" She asked firmly.
"Nothing. I told you, I'm just tired"
"No, you're not just tired." She grabbed his arm so he could turn around and face her,"...You've been acting weird for the past week, almost like avoiding me. What's going on?"
"It's- it's all in your head, I'm telling you is just stuff from the band"
"Please, John we've been together for almost 20 years, don't you think I know you better than this? You're worrying me"
John stayed in silence for a couple of seconds, feeling cornered but unable to tell her the truth. Eyes glued to the ceiling not being able to look at her directly. "I can't… I can't tell you"
"What?! What do you mean?!" She exclaimed
John sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed, knowing he just made things worse.
"Who is she?" Veronica asked, trying to stay calm.
"Who?" John raised an eyebrow. He couldn't be more confused.
"Whoever you're cheating with!"
"Veronica, what are you talking about?!"
"What else could it be that you can't tell me? You're seeing another woman, Is that it?" Tears fell down her eyes.
"Why would you think that?!"
"Then TELL ME!" She demanded
"You're fucking crazy. I can't with you", John took his pillow and stormed out of the room.
"JOHN!" Veronica tried to follow him but didn't want to scare the kids. Not when they thought their parents solved their differences. She just curled in the bed and cried out until dozing off.
/////////
The next morning John avoided her during breakfast. And didn't even say goodbye when he drove off with the kids to drop them at school. Veronica found herself forced to make a call to pay a visit to someone that might have the answer.
"Veronica! What a surprise. How have you been?" Jim greeted her at the door of Garden Lodge.
"Hi, Jim. Well, not so good to be honest. That's why I'm here"
"Oh dear, come in and let's have some tea so you can tell me about it"
/////////
"You're so quiet, if you have something to talk about must be really important," Jim said while pouring cherry blossom tea in her cup.
"I'm just a boring housewife. I usually don't have much to say"
"That's not true. You should hang out more with the girls, Debbie and Anita might be interested to get to know you better"
"Not so sure of that. I got along with Chrisse and Dominique because we had more things in common, but they're not on the map anymore. Debbie is a model and Anita a singer, I'm no way into the glamorous world they're into."
"They might want you to teach them how to keep a man for so long. But the truth is John and you belong to each other, you're just so alike."
Veronica's smile faded away, raising suspicion in Jim.
"Is everything alright between you and John?"
"It was until a few days ago. He started acting weird, distracted, distant and he's been hiding something. Last night I confronted him, demanding to know what's going on but all he said is that he can't tell me"
Jim just stayed in silence and paid attention to her.
"My first thought was that he's cheating on me and I asked him if that's what's going on but we ended up in a fight. Our first fight since we reconciled. We were so in love again" Veronica couldn't handle it anymore and broke into tears. All Jim could do was put his arm around her in support.
"I know John better than anyone, Jim. I know something's tormenting him and I want to help him but I feel so powerless when he keeps so reluctant to tell me."
"...If you have any idea what could be please tell me."
Jim didn't say a word, he wasn't sure if Veronica should know it. No one outside the band should know this. They all promised it.
"You know, right?" Veronica asked him almost inaudible.
Jim just gave a slight nod.
He understood her pain, he knew exactly what was like to feel helpless for the person you love. And this situation is as distressing for him as it was for John. But since the very first day Jim found out he built the courage to stay strong for Freddie. John is a fragile man who needs Veronica to support him and to tell him that in the end, everything is going to be alright.
"What's going on, Jim? Please I just want to help John"
"I'm not going to tell you, Veronica. John is going to do it. Today. Freddie and I will talk with him."
"Is it something about Freddie?"
"John will explain you everything"
/////////
For the rest of the morning, Veronica thought about what Jim told her, wondering what could it be that's concerning not only John but the whole band and the fact they can't talk about it with anyone else.
After leaving Garden Lodge, Veronica drove off to run some errands. Her mind was too busy to even think about what to cook for lunch, so she just stopped by a drive-through to take home.
When Veronica arrived, she was surprised to spot John's car parked, it was way too early for him to be home. She got inside the house and spotted John on the breakfast bar puffing a cigarette.
"Didn't expect you home so soon. Are you hungry?" She asked without looking at him. The tension was still strong and she wasn't sure if her talk with Jim had anything to do with him being at home early.
"Jim and Freddie told me I have to talk with you"
"And they had to tell you for you to realize that?" Veronica scoffed.
"Please sit. I'm gonna tell you everything"
Veronica looked at John, his serious expression instantly gave her an odd feeling in her chest.
/////////
A tense silence surrounded them. Veronica couldn't think what to say, she was still in shock. She can't even tell him that Freddie is going to make it out of this because he is not, there's no cure for AIDS and there's nothing herself or John can do.
At that moment all she could do was take John's hands and caress them gently, hoping her gesture would comfort John, who was looking down into the void.
John didn't need to mask his anguish to his wife anymore. Veronica is his best friend, the first person he seeks for support when things go wrong. The fact that he couldn't count on her this time because of that promise was torturing him.
It was enough torture for him to have to mask in front of Freddie, who had requested for everyone to not feel any pity about his condition, but John just couldn't stop thinking about other AIDS patients he had seen on tv and pamphlets, how this disease consumes them slowly. He could never bear to see his friend dying that way. Of all people, Freddie just doesn't deserve it.
"Look John…", Finally Veronica decided to break the silence, "... we need to stay in the present ok. Freddie still has so much to live. AIDS is a chronic disease that with the proper care, patients can live for a long time and carry on a normal life."
"But what if he doesn't? It's gonna be like when I lost my father all over again" John wiped with the back of his hand the tears that escaped from his eyes. Right away Veronica ran to his side and hugged him tightly. John embraced her even tighter, making the most of that hug he needed so badly and allowing himself to cry on her shoulder.
"I know how scared you are but it's too soon, Freddie still has time. And you have to be there for him. It's gonna be alright"
Veronica cringed thinking back of what she guessed was happening when the matter was far more serious than an infidelity.
"I'm so sorry for last night, John. I had no idea"
"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have worried you like that or make you believe things far from true" He took her hand and kissed her knuckles, "...I love you. You're my only one. Despite what we've been through I've never cheated on you and I'll never do it."
"I know John. I love you so much"
"I love you too, Ronnie. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Veronica's support was a huge help for John. After he talked to her he felt a huge weight off his shoulders and it helped him stay calmed.
/////////
However, after a few years of battle, the inevitable happened.
/////////
November 27th 1991
In front of the mirror, John finished fixing up his tie as he puffed the cigarette in his mouth. From the reflection he saw Veronica standing at the door of their room, looking elegant in a black skirt-suit, matching pumps and a dark grey coat.
"Are you ready?" She asked him, walking towards him, she gently caressed his back.
John took the cigarette off his mouth and smashed it in the ashtray with the other cigarettes he had smoked during the time he started to get ready for the funeral. Veronica gave it a worried glance.
"Yes, we better go now. I don't want to draw attention by arriving late" He said while putting on his coat.
Veronica could see how uneasy he was and started to question if it was a good idea to go to the funeral.
"Look, they probably don't expect you. They'd understand if you don't go"
"No, I need to, Veronica. It's been enough of running away. I didn't have the strength to say goodbye at his deathbed, saying goodbye now it's the only way I can come to terms with his departure."
Veronica nodded with a smile, "alright, if you're sure. Then we should go now" She said as she put on a grey scarf around his neck letting it fall over the flaps of his coat to finish his outfit.
She took him by the arm as they walked together and never left his side.
Freddie always trusted her in loving and protecting John and that's what she always did in his memory.