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Allison stayed standing the entire shuttle ride from the surface of Lesuss. Despite being battle-scarred (one rather impressive gouge from the middle of her left thigh to just below her breast) and world-weary with a thousand-yard stare, she gripped onto the bar and held steady through the mild turbulence of atmo. Liara had shot a glance across to Kaidan, trying to read from him what was going on, but he was almost as much at a loss as she was. Three years and a couple of near-death instances would change all but the smallest number of people.
Eventually the Normandy came into view from the windscreen. Kaidan heard Liara let out a sigh of relief, but no similar reaction from Allison. She stayed, stock-still as she had been, until Cortez manoeuvred the shuttle into the docking bay. Only when pressure and air had been returned to the bay, and Cortez had opened the side door, did she move.
Allison moved across the bay in a blink, almost as fast as if she had biotically charged across. While Kaidan and Liara stopped by the weapons bench to start disarmouring, Allison kept going to the elevator and called it down with a firm smack of her hand against the control panel. Her back was to them the entire time it took the elevator to get to the floor, her standing with the same rigid pose as had been on the shuttle.
After Allison stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed behind her, Liara sent Kaidan a look that was part sympathy, mostly questioning. He looked away, focusing on taking off his vambraces. His gauntlets followed, tossed down almost carelessly. One had a long scratch along it, shallow and barely cutting through the paint to the metal below. Not too damaged to be repaired, but would need time and resources, both of which they were short on. Would always be short on until the war ended in one way or another.
"Kaidan..." Liara sounded pleading, voice incredibly soft next to the sound of clanking armour. Her own gauntlets clattered onto the table on top of Kaidan's, her white contrasting with the sharp blue of his own. Alliance blue. Biotic blue.
"You're the mind-reader here, Liara, not me."
"That's an incorrect presumption. Mind-melding doesn't--" Liara paused mid-retort, catching Kaidan's intended meaning. Both his hands rested on the weapons bench, holding his weight as he leaned forwards and took a deep breath.
"What do you want me to say?" Kaidan stared down at the floor. "Hell, what do you expect me to do? I went from pointing a gun at her, accusing her of being a traitor again to being back here and on a mission like the past three years never happened."
"You need to do something."
Kaidan sighed. "EDI, what's Shepard's status?"
EDI's blue orb pinged up not far from the elevator doors. "Commander Shepard is currently in the captain's cabin. She has also given orders to not be disturbed and for any essential information and orders to be forwarded to you."
Kaidan looked to Liara, who gave him a knowing look.
"Fine," he said with a sigh.
[-]
Allison had bypassed her usual post-mission debrief. She'd worn her armour to the medbay, getting a look from Chakwas but no verbal comment. While the gash in her armour looked pretty horrendous, it hadn't cut through to the underarmour. Once cleared, Allison skipped past the mess but still caught Traynor's attention.
"Commander!" Traynor leapt up from her seat, a tray of something resembling food skittering as Traynor knocked against the table in her haste. "The asari councillor had requested to speak to you when you returned."
"Tell her to talk to Alenko." Allison called the elevator down once more, moving into parade rest as she waited.
"Commander..."
"Spectre Alenko was also on the mission, and he can report in for a mission as well as I." The elevator arrived, Allison stepping on and effectively ending the discussion.
Only when the elevator doors closed did Allison let herself relax. Her helmet finally came off, her holding it in one hand while the other ran through her sweat-soaked hair. Dried blood had crusted under her nose; same with Kaidan she suspected. They'd been told that something was happening at the Ardat-Yakshi monastery -- captive asari being transported there, reaper troops identified from recon scouts before they were also captured and likely turned into the same troops.
Allison should have expected to see the Reapers turning asari into the same monstrosities as they had been doing with all the other races. No one would come out untouched.
Liara had given vague details on the purpose of the monastery; Allison had shuddered while Kaidan looked confused at the two of them. In the end it fell to Allison to explain.
"Ardat-Yakshi are...a genetic anomaly. Asari with the capabilities burn a person's brain and overload their nervous system out when they meld. For every person they kill, the urge gets stronger. They have a choice to either be isolated in the monastery or be killed. Some choose to try and escape but they're hunted down by Justicars."
The unasked question appeared in Kaidan's eye, and Allison once again answered before he could ask, or decide it wasn't worth asking.
"Samara, one of the people I worked with to take down the Collectors. She had three daughters, and there were three Ardat-Yakshi."
"Were?"
"Samara asked for my help to...take down one of her daughters. Morinth had escaped to Omega while Samara was chasing her, and Morinth left a streak of victims before we caught up with her. We killed her."
"And the other two?"
"At the monastery," Liara said. "Samara is a Justicar, sworn to uphold a strict set of rules. If anyone else would be investigating, it would be her."
"Sent to kill your own children..."
Samara now only had one daughter left. Rila had been too far gone, too indoctrinated; conscious enough of herself to set up a makeshift bomb with Falere but not to arm it. Rila had stayed behind once it was, making sure it went off and knowing there was no escape for her.
And Samara...Justicar code specified Ardat-Yakshi to only be allowed to live at the monastery, and with that laying in rubble there was only one course of action.
Samara put her gun to her head.
Allison had moved quick, twisting the hand and gun away, talking Samara down. They agreed - Falere to stay, Samara to keep watch.
That hadn't been the worst of the mission. People breaking, seeing horrors beyond their imagination...Allison had managed to get many people to cut through that, seeing enemies not as other people with their own lives but instead as a creature who'd take your life if you didn't take theirs. She'd turned many a person into a killer on Elysium, needing all the extra hands on guns she could muster.
No, what would haunt Allison were the asari Reaper troops. Banshees, she'd nicknamed them. A horrific screech, ability to teleport in a flash like a biotic charge. Pin you down when a second ago you were free.
"Shepard!" Kaidan's call came a split-second too late. The banshee that had been ambling towards her was now right in front, gaping mouth wide. Allison sprang to the right, moving into a combat roll to get away from the monstrosity. One clawed banshee hand was faster, gouging her armour from thigh to breast. The banshee froze in a stasis field before freezing over from a cryo round and shattering.
"Shepard! You okay?"
Allison allowed herself a second to look at her armour. "Yeah, fine."
That armour was now coming off in chunks, leaving a trail from the doors of the captain's cabin, down the stairs, and by the bed. Allison stood with just her leg armour on, the all-encompassing underarmour running from mid-neck to hips, including covering her hands. She ran a hand across her left side, accompanied by a sharp intake of breath when she pressed a tender spot. That'd probably put her out of commission on any kind of planetside missions for a good few days -- well, Vega needed some special ops training and what better than their philosophy of kicking you out the airlock with armour and a weapon and no idea what to expect. And that was not an exaggeration.
Allison snorted. With the amount of tutoring Vega was getting under her watch, she wouldn't be surprised if he was moved up to N3 or N4 by the time he officially got onto the ICT course. Hell, if the war lasted long enough he could be inducted and graduated as an N7 in one day if they were given sufficient proof.
If the war lasted long enough...more like if the war ever ended in their favour.
Allison slumped down on the bed, hands going to her side and mattress creaking in protest as her hands clenched around it.
"We're just delaying the inevitable."
A soft blip sounded from across the room, and Allison clenched her teeth. "EDI. I don't want to be disturbed. Any intelligence and orders to be routed through Alenko."
EDI blipped away without another word. Allison activated her omni-tool and lowered the lights in the cabin. Allison rubbed her hands over her face, squeezing her eyes tight before blinking a couple of times. She let out a soft sigh and activated her omni-tool once again, diverting all direct communication through to Kaidan's omni-tool. With that, she leaned back on the bed, hands over her eyes, and tried to work the images seared in her brain out.
[-]
Kaidan had ended up being waylaid along the way by Adams who wanted to check on some details on how the Normandy's drive core was functioning. Why it fell to Kaidan he had no idea, but he still scanned over the data pad given to him and made sure that everything all checked out.
He then managed to get to the CIC before being interrupted again, this time by Traynor.
"Major, the asari councillor has requested an update on the status of the mission."
Kaidan grimaced. "Can't it wait?"
"I'm afraid not. Councillor Tevos has already been waiting for a report since the Commander passed through here." Traynor held her gaze steady, uncertain on whether Kaidan would also just breeze past her.
"Let her know I'll be there momentarily," Kaidan said with a sigh. Traynor nodded and returned to her terminal. Kaidan breezed past towards the War Room, nodding at both Westmoreland and Campbell as he did so.
Tevos was already visible on the QEC as Kaidan stepped in, and if she was surprised at getting the second human Spectre instead of the first, she didn't show it.
"Spectre," Tevos said. "I hear the Ardat-Yakshi situation has been put to rest."
Kaidan raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest. "Let me guess: you were our contact inside Asari High Command, Councillor?"
Tevos' expression stayed neutral. "I'm merely here to convey the gratitude of the asari people for concluding a difficult, sensitive mission. The next team of commandos we were sending to the monastery are now en route to Admiral Hackett instead. I trust no explicit report of this will make it into the general public, Spectre?"
"It won't. Though I doubt that the Banshees we encountered were the only ones the Reapers had made."
"Banshees?"
"Nickname. Earth-based mythology, seen as an omen of death. Banshees are Reaper-corrupted asari. They were using the Ardat-Yakshi to mutate other asari. With the monastery destroyed, they shouldn't make any more, but we don't know how many the Reapers managed to create."
Tevos didn't seem surprised at the news; didn't even seem to register the information. In all likelihood she'd already known at least some of the details before the initial request had even reached Allison.
"Very well, Spectre. And...no further report of this will be necessary."
Kaidan nodded once, and the QEC blipped out. He grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck which was starting to ache. The trio of adrenaline dying down, back on the ship, and post-shower in his ACUs brought all of his injuries and stressors to the forefront once again. He made it back through the war room doors into the CIC, and into the elevator up to the loft. He sincerely hoped that Allison’s ‘not to be disturbed’ held an exception for him.
The bright red lock confirmed Allison’s request, and Kaidan paused while he mentally debated. He could inject an override; he could ask EDI to override the lock for him; or he could just knock on the door.
He chose the third option.
Kaidan could just barely hear muffled mutterings and the sound of someone moving around. The lock flicked to green a split-second before the doors opened. Allison saw Kaidan standing there and almost immediately turned her back and walked back down the stairs.
“Shepard,” Kaidan said, but she held up a hand to silence him. She ran both hands through her hair and let out a long sigh.
"Shepard," Kaidan said again; he was still standing on the upper level, barely a few feet away from the cabin doors. Just say the words and I'll go.
"I just...I...fuck." The expletive came out not as a harsh burst but as a low sigh. Allison collapsed in on herself, shoulders slumping, head lolling forwards. Two fingers pinched the bridge of her nose, the elbow of which rested on her other hand. She heard the light footfalls of someone descending the stairs but still started when Kaidan wrapped a hand around her wrist. He gently tugged and she relented, hands dropping to her lap. That wasn't enough for Kaidan; he'd kept his hand around her wrist and gently pulled again. Allison frowned and looked up at Kaidan.
“C’mon,” he said. One arm went around her waist, the other around her shoulders, and he pulled her in tight. When Allison winced Kaidan pulled back with a frown on his face.
“Did you see Chakwas?”
“Of course,” Allison said, moving to pull away. Kaidan kept a firm grip on her wrists, but still light enough that Allison could have moved away if she wanted to.
Kaidan’s frown deepened. “Take it off,” he demanded.
Allison paused for a moment before she raised her left arm and reached for the zipper. She dragged it down the full length of the chain to the bottom stop at her hip. The fabric split open to reveal a rainbow of colour, irritated red skin blending in with the blue and slight purple of the bruise. None of the exposed skin behind the zip was Allison’s normal pale colour.
Kaidan grimaced at the sight, pulling Allison’s underarmour apart slightly to get a better look at the injury. His fingers ghosted over her skin, just barely enough pressure to be felt.
“Get undressed; I’ll get the shower started.”
Kaidan took the cabin steps two at a time, squeezing into the small bathroom and activating the shower. Once it was up to temperature he glanced back through the door; he beckoned Allison up and he began to strip off himself.
He guided Allison into the shower first, letting the warm spray hit her. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, taking another half-step towards the shower head and letting herself be completely enveloped.
Kaidan stepped forwards as well, wrapping his arms around her from behind and pressing up against her.
“That was a nightmare,” Allison said. Kaidan didn’t reply, instead resting his chin on her shoulder. “Those Banshees…”
“Probably about as bad as from where I was standing,” Kaidan said.
Allison huffed a laugh. “Oh yeah. You and Liara had front-row seats. Probably the first time you’ve seen me panic.”
“I wouldn’t say panic. On the back foot, against new tactics and a new unknown enemy.”
Allison wormed a hand around, touching her left side where the bruise was. “Guess I should be glad this is the worst I was injured. How’s Liara?”
“Mentally, reeling from the Banshees. Physically, fine.”
“That’s good,” Allison said, and she fell into silence once again. Kaidan loosened his arms from around Allison a moment before dropping them; Allison looked over her shoulder, a frown on her face.
“Turn around,” Kaidan said. Allison obliged. Kaidan tilted Allison’s head back, ensuring her hair was well soaked, then shuffled her forwards so that her hair was out of the spray. He squeezed out some shampoo and applied it to her hair, gently massaging it in interspersed with long loving caresses of her head. He moved her back underneath the water and rinsed her hair out with the same motions.
Kaidan swapped out the shampoo for some shower gel and began gently scrubbing down Allison’s body, taking extra care around her bruise. He nudged Allison out of the shower once she’d rinsed off and Kaidan quickly rinsed himself off. By the time he’d finished and shut off the shower Allison was already wrapped in a towel.
Kaidan reached for a towel of his own but came up empty as he realised the only decently-sized towel in the room was wrapped around Allison. He fought down a blush as Allison seemed to realise the problem a few seconds after he had and passed over her towel.
Allison slipped out of the bathroom while Kaidan dried off, and he walked out of the bathroom to see her sitting on the bed, already dressed and drying her hair. She unsuccessfully hid a small smile as Kaidan sauntered out, towel riding low on his hips.
“Feeling better?” Kaidan asked in response to her smile, which only made her smile bigger.
“Yeah. Thanks.” Allison finished drying her hair and laid out on the bed on her right side, pulling her t-shirt up slightly. She gingerly prodded at the bruise before pulling her shirt back down.
“It’ll take a couple of days to heal,” Kaidan said automatically as he found his clothes and got re-dressed. He folded the towel up neatly, put it back in the bathroom, then stood on the upper area of the cabin at a loss of what to do next.
“We’re mid-transit,” Allison said. Kaidan looked back to see her sitting in the middle of the bed having apparently read his mind. “Barring an emergency broadcast we’re not scheduled for any events for a few hours. You could head back to Starboard Obs, or…you could stay here.”
“You asking me to bunk with you?” Kaidan said with a grin of his own.
Allison flushed. “God, that just sounds so bad now. But yes, I am.”
Kaidan pulled off his shirt as Allison moved under the covers. She let out a sigh as her head hit the pillow, and another when Kaidan moved up behind her and wrapped an arm around her.
“So…” Kaidan said after some hesitation. “Did you want to talk about it?”
“I’m not sure,” Allison said. “What is there to talk about? New strategy, new tactics?”
“Making sure you don’t get nearly eviscerated by another Banshee in the future?”
Allison sighed. “Everything turned out fine.”
“It almost didn’t.” Kaidan bit back the flood of thoughts and rebuttals. “I…you’re our best chance of defeating the Reapers and if you’d been a second slower we could have lost you today.”
“Eh, it’s happened before. Could just ask Cerberus nicely if they’d rebuild me again.”
Kaidan’s sharp intake of breath and the tightening of his arm around Allison told her that was on the list of bad things to say.
“I’m sorry. I’m just…”
“Fed up?”
“That’s one option.” Allison turned slightly to look at the covered viewpoint in the cabin. “I doubt if we’ll ever win, if we’re just postponing the inevitable.”
“You can’t think that. You’ve done the impossible before, and you can do it again.”
Allison huffed. “Nice to see such positivity and support from someone.”
“It’s true.” Kaidan sighed. “You should probably get some sleep. You’ll need the rest.”
“Can’t.”
“Shepard—” Kaidan cut himself off mid-sentence, an idea coming to mind. He started humming a tune, a quiet sound that Allison had to strain to hear.
“What are you doing?” Allison said.
Kaidan’s humming turned into a low melody and then an actual song; Allison’s omni-tool beeped, indicating that there was an appropriate translation if she wished to know what was being sung.
Oy khodyt' son, kolo vikon.
A drimota kolo plota.
Pytayetsya son drimoty:
De zh my budem nochuvaty?
De khaton'ka teplesen'ka,
De dytynka malesen'ka,
Tudy pidem nochuvaty
I dytynku kolysaty.
"Where'd you learn that?" Allison said. The way Kaidan was curled around her, there was no way she could comfortably reach her omni-tool for a translation from what her translator was telling her was Ukrainian.
Kaidan was silent for a moment. "My grandmother, on my father’s side. Used to be one of the songs she sang when I stayed with her."
Allison managed to just about turn so she could see Kaidan. "I like it. Keep singing?"
Kaidan obliged, his low voice starting to sing the next section of the lullaby, and Allison settled back down in his arms. Finally settled, she began to drift off to sleep.
Tam budem spochyvaty,
I dytynku prysypl'yaty:
Spaty, spaty, sokol'yatko,
Spaty, spaty, holubyatko.
As Allison settled, Kaidan ran through his thoughts. He’d entertained the idea of maybe-possibly asking Allison to lunch, or maybe just enjoy a couple of drinks together. If she’d wanted to, if she felt it was appropriate.
He closed his eyes and mentally chastised himself. He’d practically invited herself into her cabin, but she hadn’t kicked him out even though she’d had multiple opportunities and the complete right to do so. She could have kicked his ass out of the room any time between seeing that he was the one knocking on the door to inviting him into bed, but she hadn’t. And that was a good sign, surely? That she was curled up in his arms on the way to a hopefully nightmare-less sleep.
Kaidan twisted his arm around, managing to activate his omni-tool without waking or disturbing Allison too much. He one-handedly typed in a quick message to himself – it had been so long since he’d gone up to the Presidium for enjoyment that he couldn’t remember half the eateries there. He sent a reminder to himself to check out the places before he turned his omni-tool off and snuggled down behind Allison.