Chapter Text
Sesshōmaru dared not touch the Tree of Ages.
By the time he arrived at the sealing place, Tōtōsai and Jaken must’ve met with Towa, and Zero would be long gone. No matter. As far as she could go, she would never be able to outrun him. Not this time, when everything was at stake. The woman smelt of death, and soon she would join their ranks.
Contemplating the figure sealed within the tree, it was not the first time Sesshōmaru realized how ephemeral Rin looked. But today, more than ever, the sight of her pained him as grief set its claws around his heart.
He had failed.
Everything they worked for, every plan they made, every strategy they devised…
All for nought.
Sesshōmaru looked up at Rin, her delicate frame floating inside the Tree of Ages, as memories started to play in his mind.
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"Sesshōmaru-sama, I've been thinking… I'd like one of them to be named Setsuna. As for the other…”
Rin tilted her head, considering him, and smiled, her eyes glinting with mischief… like prompting him to read her thoughts, as some people believed him to do.
There was no need for Sesshōmaru to have those kinds of powers to know what thoughts flowed through Rin's mind.
And people would be surprised to learn that, more often than not, their opinions matched.
"As for our second child, then… her name shall be Towa."
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Not only he had failed Rin. He had failed their daughters, too.
He thought of Towa, separated from her twin when she was but a child. Brave and courageous like her mother, silvery haired Towa.
He thought of Setsuna, growing up as an orphan. His youngest, struck down by Kirinmaru. Calm and collected Setsuna, who inherited Rin's hair.
And he thought of Rin.
Kind and compassionate Rin, who found one of the most powerful yōkais in the world in his most vulnerable moment. Rin, who had nothing to spare and much to lose, sharing what little food she had with him.
He thought of her smile, so full of life, so gentle and bright, that even in the darkest nights could lit up the world around her. It was because of that smile that he unsheathed Tenseiga that day.
He thought of her eyes, twinkling with mirth when she gazed down at their daughters.
And the touch of her lips the first time they kissed.
Sesshōmaru loved her. He would never stop loving her, no matter how many years passed, no matter what befell them.
He could not abandon her. And so, he tried, he planned, he lied. And in the end… he could not save those he cared for.
He thought of how he could bid her farewell this time, and the void within his chest clawed at his soul and gnawed at his heart, threatening to devour him.
Sesshōmaru no longer possessed the broken Tenseiga, but he could still feel the pulse of the sword at his hip, like a living beat, waiting for her to wake.
It was not that he didn't believe in Towa — in them —. But even if Tenseiga was repaired… If the Yukari no Tachikiri no longer existed…
Holding back a sigh, Sesshōmaru averted his eyes as pushed those thoughts away. Now was not the time.
As he contemplated her ethereal form trapped in the Tree of Ages, his lips moved with purpose, to remind her of the promise he once made.
He still remembered those words as if it were yesterday… And for him, perhaps it was.
"Distance means nothing… Our hearts are tied together.”
"With the power of trust, there is nothing to fear.”
Rin had never wanted their daughters to suffer. In an attempt to save both her and their children Sesshōmaru had betrayed that promise.
Once again, pride had made him lose what was most important to him.
Now, with the desperate, unhinged Zero looking to end his line no matter the cost, with Tenseiga broken and Setsuna in that state…
The Daiyōkai felt anger rise within him, claws curling into fists. He was undeserving of Rin’s trust, of her loyalty. How many times had he failed to protect her? She trusted him to keep her safe, to always come to her rescue. She put her life, and that of their children in his hands, and he…
No.
Inhaling sharp, Sesshōmaru steeled himself.
He would not fail her a second time.
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"We need to talk.”
He stepped aside, studying her with a light frown — as if he already knew why she came to him — as she walked inside their room.
Standing in front of him, Rin struggled for words for a moment, squeezing her eyes shut as the weight of her next words crushed her heart.
"If there comes a time when you have to choose… I want you to choose them, Sesshōmaru-sama.”
Ice crept into his heart, making him skip a beat.
Sesshōmaru had always looked at human's lives as one observes the light of a candle extinguish: breathtakingly short, a mere instant in the streams of time.
But Rin was no mere human, and he had already lost her twice.
First, to the wolves; when she was nothing but the unknown.
Second, to his pride; when he learnt the meaning of loss.
And now…
"I'll find another way.”
Rin smiled softly, but didn't respond. She couldn't give him the answer he so wanted to hear.
Sesshōmaru's hand caressed her face in that soft, gentle way he reserved only for her.
“Rin…"
Rin shook her head, heart clenching at the sound of his voice.
"No… it mustn't come to that." Her daughters came first. Since the beginning, Rin had always been saved by others — Master Jaken, Kikyō, Sesshōmaru… — now it was her turn. They would not suffer for who their mother was.
And she would not fail them, no matter the cost.
For her daughters. And for him, too… even if he couldn't see it right now.
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Nothing could have ever prepared Sesshōmaru for this. The Daiyōkai felt he was being mocked by fate itself. Why was it so intent on taking Rin away from him? He had already defied destiny twice and he would do so again for as many times as it would take.
But when his daughters and Rin were on opposite sides of the same scale…
Sesshōmaru's gaze darkened as rising fury seethed through his body. Clenching his fists, he willed himself to remain calm.
Some yōkai felt oddly attracted to humans, his mother had explained to him once. "A flower is only beautiful because it doesn’t last forever.”
That's what he was doing with her. Keeping her frozen in time, like a petrified flower, its petals unable to wither… Unable to move, to talk, to feel.
And meanwhile, Towa and Setsuna suffered the consequences of his weakness.
Curse Kirinmaru. Curse Zero. Curse Time itself.
He would've kill them all if that's what it'd take to have his family back. Instead, he had lost count of how many times did he have to look aside while the world around him burned… like the day his children got separated and Towa ended up in stranded in the future and Setsuna growing up on her own.
The words his lord father spoke to him the night he died came back to haunt him once more.
“Sesshōmaru, do you have something to protect?”
Rage and frustration flared within him as the daiyōkai held back a snarl. So much power… and for what? Now he had finally someone to protect: his heart, his daughters… and he lost them all.
Rin, the day she was sealed, her life connected to that monster. And his daughters… Sesshōmaru was not ready to feel how the guilt weighed on him, how regret ate at him when he had to look away and turn back from them, from his family.
Sesshōmaru closed his eyes and breathed sharply. As long as Rin's life was connected to that lowly vermin, his hands were tied.
The possibility that hit him every time he went to visit her that this might be their last time together... Unacceptable.
And yet…
"Thanks to Sesshōmaru-sama I'm not lonely anymore.”
Sesshōmaru clenched his jaw, holding back a growl.
Fourteen years trapped in the Tree of Ages.
Fourteen years Rin spent alone.
Fourteen years of silence, of crushed hopes and endless dreams.
Fourteen years… and still, he could not save her.
It wasn't long, not for a yōkai. It was but a mere blink of his eyes and yet, without her it felt like an eternity he was not prepared to endure.
They had time… until they didn’t.
"Sesshōmaru-sama, if one day Rin died… would you remember me?”
“…Always."
He reminisces about that conversation they held years ago and Sesshōmaru is still able to hear the remorseful tone and the pain that filled Rin's voice back then.
Sesshōmaru had been more than a decade trying to deny it. To avoid, to escape the inevitable conclusion he reached after the latest events. If there was something in this world that could make him change his course of action, that was definitely Setsuna's death. His own child… Rin's child. The blood of his blood.
And it finally dawned on him.
He could no longer save Rin.
His plan, everything he worked for… all of it was for nought.
For the first time in all the centuries he had lived, Sesshōmaru didn't have the luxury of time.
Tenseiga wouldn't be able to revive Zero a second time and the Meido Stone couldn't be used on yōkai the same way it was used to bring back Rin.
Now, he truly didn't have a choice.
Or rather… the choice was not his, but Rin's.
He knew it too well, that Rin would rather die than to allow her daughters to suffer.
Time was running out, inexorably and relentlessly, like sand slipping through the gap between his fingers.
He didn't have time, and a choice had to be made.
Sesshōmaru’s eyes raised to meet his heart, waiting for an answer that would not come, and the world seemed to quiet down around him, as if it was holding its breath, awaiting his decision.
Daiyōkai could be selfish beings by nature, but in the end… he had always respected Rin's wishes.
Unbeknownst to everyone was the fact that where she lead, he followed.
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In the dim glow of the candlelight, two figures stood in a secluded location, a barrier protecting them from prying eyes and listening ears…
Everything was ready.
Sesshōmaru slowly reached out with his right hand and touched Rin's belly with such care and tenderness… those claws capable of absolute destruction carefully controlled to avoid hurting a single hair in her body.
Rin placed her own hands over his and regarded him with a glint in her eyes that spoke of courage, of bravery…
Of love.
"For them, Sesshōmaru-sama."
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For them.
For Towa, for Setsuna.
Even if there was a gaping hole in his chest that threatened to swallow him all… even if every muscle, every nerve in his body demanded to take action —retribution—…
Sesshōmaru straightened his posture, solemn, and gazed at Rin for the last time, committing her image to memory. A flash of crimson crossed his eyes as Sesshōmaru turned around and marched off, leaving his heart behind.
For all of them…
He would endure.
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In the mountains, in the forest.
In the wind… in my dreams.
Where are you, Sesshōmaru-sama?
I will wait here, all alone…
For Sesshōmaru-sama to return.