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The Crumlin bumbled its rickety knees up and stumbled towards a crater in the middle of its shit-stained carpet. He pulled down his awful trousers and lumped a fat wet poo on the decking below. The Crumlin felt absolutely fantastic; what a way to begin the day!
On the way to work, the Crumlin did a little dance like the ones they do on the internet and everyone who watched him from their grubby windows could see that he was the happiest little Crumlin on the street.
Fast farts erupted from the Crumlin’s awful hole. His trousers stained with shades of red and remnants of microwave meals. Poo-free and bumbling about, there is only one thing that could damped the Crumlin’s indomitable mood...
The faint aroma of Mears, begins to flood his awful nostril holes. The hairs cauterise at the follicle and the sour prickle causes his bin-juice skin to bubble and bibble.
A silhouette at the end of the street pointed a soggy finger at the Crumlin and laughed a horrible laugh.
“Hon hon hon hon!” went it thus.
The Crumlin’s ears inverted into its skull and his eyes discarded another layer of cornea. Defying all instinct to shrivel up into a walnutted sack of green meat, the Crumlin mustered all the happiness from its freshly emptied anus and built up a sizable reserve of energy from internally combusting his wet farts.
He charged like a missile at the Mears shaped mass, who instantly filled his pants at the sight of the supersonic Crumlin heading towards him.
The minute they met, the chemical reaction of Crumlin fart to Mears meat was so unbelievably tremendous that it split the atom. All of the onlookers dissolved into the same matter as their windows were made. The Crumlin’s beloved shit-hole dissolved into the ground as his terrible stinky house dissolved around it.
As the two beings merged, in the moment before their spinal chords detached, they were one. The Crumlin-Mears mush for just one sweet second was enlightened, before it burst into smitheroons on either end of the galaxy.
And the wonderful feeling would remain.
The End