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Chapter Text

And that was it.

With her laptop shut off beside her phone on her desk, the curtains drawn and the lights turned out, Natalie lay in bed. Though her duvet was pulled up all the way towards her chin and she was resting in an admittedly very comfortable position, she had a feeling she'd be unlikely to sleep.

Not after how she'd spent the last afternoon, anyway. No, of course her friends had to bring up the topic of 'Doki Doki Literature Club' the entire day, and thus that thoroughly piqued her curiosity after a while.

She'd been told it was a horror game, and believed that maybe "psychological horror" was a bit of a stretch, but she was beginning to realise that she couldn't have been more wrong. That game had stuck with her, somewhat traumatised her, and not in the typical way a horror game does. Rather, that ending continued to weigh heavy on her mind, and the further away from her conscience she tried to move it, the more she found herself dwelling on Monika.

Slightly embarrassingly, it had taken her a solid fifteen minutes, which included a quick Google search, to realise that the only way to end the game once within the Just Monika phase was to delete her character file, just as she had done to the likes of, well . . . literally everything else.

But Natalie wasn't sure what she found more embarrassing—the fact that she'd struggled to figure out the ending, or her sudden attachment to the character on screen. Sure, Monika had been nothing but, put lightly, psychotic, and Natalie herself had made sarcastic remarks out loud at several of her lines, but the thought of simply deleting the somehow sentient character just felt . . . wrong, on so many levels.

This was a low point though, in her opinion. She turned over in her bed to face the wall. She'd somehow managed to really get to the point in her life where she mourned the loss of a yandere video game character who'd done nothing but startle her with the glitches within that game. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't physically leapt out of her seat when Yuri revealed a knife during her manic eye-twitching cackling session after her confession.

Natalie sat up and turned on the lamp beside her bed. It only took a simple swipe of her draw to remove the flu medication she'd left there a few weeks prior and down it with a glass of water. Maybe taking the stuff wasn't such a good idea, but for the meanwhile she had a feeling it was going to be the only source of sleep she could possibly get.

The light was back off in a second. Natalie turned over again, this time facing her room, and felt her eyes beginning to droop heavily. For whatever reason, Sayo-Nara continued to play on loop in her head as she drifted away slowly into a peaceful sleep.

Rough contact with a hard and solid surface is really not a desirable way to wake up.

Natalie groaned in discomfort and struggled up to her feet. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why she ached so much. Her arms trembled under the weight of her, despite the fact that it was distributed on all fours.

She turned over so that she was sitting down on the floor. Her eyes were still blurred from the sleep that remained and the tears from when she'd yawned, but at least it was the morning, judging by the bright light that was already flooding the room.

But as her eyes slowly adjusted, painfully slowly, something looked . . . different. She couldn't tell what, but it just was off, to put it simply. And it was mid December, so why the hell was it so sunny, bright, and warm outside . . .?

Someone knocked on her bedroom door. The complete shock of it caused her to stagger backwards into her desk chair. "Y-yes?" Natalie stammered. "Who's there?"

"It's Sayori, obviously. Jeez, what's taking you so long, Natalie?" She saw the door handle begin to turn. "Can I come in-?"

"No!" She shakily sat up on the edge of her bed. Was she going mad . . .? "I-I mean, no, I'm not dressed yet. That's all."

Sayori huffed from the other side of the door. "Fine. Don't take too long, though. You're already taking much longer than I did, and even I overslept, so that's crazy, and . . ."

However Natalie had long since stopped listening. She glanced at herself in her full length mirror and felt her breath catch in her throat. Short brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, all as usual. Only her skin was smoother, her eyes were bigger, her hair was shinier and more luscious . . .

"Fuck," she whispered. That would explain the difference in appearance to the room too.

Sayori's gasp was audible. "Natalie! Are you okay? Why did you swear? Did something happen?"

"I, er, just stubbed my toe," Natalie lied. She glanced at the pile of school uniform folded neatly on her desk and held up the blue skirt in front of her. "I'll try and hurry."

"Good, because your hallway is really boring," Sayori commented. Natalie attempted to ignore the girly voice gossiping on the other side of the door and continued to change her clothes faster than she had ever done in her entire life. "Oh, what's that—whoops," There was a bang, "almost knocked over a vase. Wow, that could've been messy," she giggled. "It's a pretty vase, though. Look at that blue colour. Do you suppose-?"

"Done." Natalie cut her off as quickly as possible by opening the door and stepping out. She now found herself wearing the same uniform as Sayori, only her socks were thigh high instead and she had a small bag slung over her shoulder. She stared at Sayori for a very very long time. Damn, this was weird . . . "So . . . can we, er, go to school now?"

"Well, of course," Sayori responded cheerily. She took her hand and began to drag her along a corridor she certainly didn't remember existing in her house, and then down a staircase, before heading straight out of the front door. "Honestly, I thought you'd never show up."

"Hm? O-oh, yeah," Natalie laughed nervously, "I just got distracted. Hey, Sayori?" Sayori glanced over at her. "What day is it today? Like, the date?"

"Oh, um . . . oh jeez . . ." Sayori took her phone out of her pocket to check through her lock screen. Natalie certainly hadn't remembered mobile phones ever having any relevance to the game, but maybe they simply hadn't been important. "Monday the 9th of June."

"But it's December . . ." Natalie muttered to herself confusedly.

Sayori, apparently with better hearing than she'd realised, openly laughed at her. "Don't be silly, do you really think I'm that gullible?" She pouted. "Don't be mean. I can read the date just fine."

"And, if I may ask, what happened yesterday?" she asked.

As they continued their walk towards the school, just as mentioned at the start of the game, the pathways did become filled with students making their own route. Some were obviously within their younger years, and a few seniors carried textbooks and coursework material with them. Natalie gaped at the sight of it all, but at least Sayori apparently hadn't noticed her friend's reaction.

"Nothing much. I didn't see you yesterday since it was a weekend, remember?" Sayori reminded her. "By the way, Natalie . . . have you decided on a club to join yet?"

Natalie instantly snapped out of whatever trance-like state she'd been in and stared wide-eyed at Sayori. "Come again?"

Sayori rolled her eyes. "A club to join, duh. So, have you?"

"Oh, I, um . . . I haven't put much thought to it?" she answered hesitantly. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you told me you would join a club this year!" Sayori responded.

"Right . . ." Natalie trailed off.

Sayori nodded her head and continued. "I was talking about how I'm worried that you won't learn how to socialise or have any skills before college," she continued. "Your happiness is really important to me, you know? And I know you're happy now, but I'd die at the thought of you becoming a NEET in a few years because you're not used to the real world! You trust me, right? Don't make me keep worrying about you . . ."

Throughout this entire monologue, Natalie remained silent, deep in her own thoughts. Had she just . . .? Like in the first act . . .? Exactly the same . . . huh?

"Uh, Sayori, you really don't need to worry," Natalie insisted. "I'm fine."

"But you'll still look at a few clubs, right? And you'll at least try a little?" she pleaded. Natalie winced and nodded. Maybe it was best to just go with the flow of the somewhat script, at least for now. "Yay! Now come on, or otherwise we'll be late!"

At the end of her final class of the day, Natalie remained in her seat at the back of the class, just as the protagonist in the game itself does. That same protagonist really hadn't been exaggerating about how boringly ordinary that day had been. Whatever the hell this voodoo-type dream universe was, it still required her to sit through a calculus exam.

But in all honesty, virtually none of her concentration had gone into that. She recalled back to the previous evening, taking those flu medications and turning over in her bed restlessly while her head replayed Sayo-Nara. Damn it, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to narrow down her options of what could've possibly caused her to be in this situation.

Although, she had to admit, she was dealing with this all pretty well. Natalie fought with herself not to smile. She'd been calm, she hadn't screamed or cried yet, and everything had occurred without any odd hitches. In her books, in the oddest way possible, this was a win.

Now all she wanted to do was get to this Literature Club, while showing as minimal interest as possible so as to aggravate the script as little as she could. She couldn't help but notice earlier that the moment she'd asked an irrelevant question such as about the previous day, things had corrected themselves anyway, so going with the flow would surely get things moving faster.

Natalie saw the door open through the corner of her eye but instead feigned interest in a poster on the wall about logarithms. She hated logarithms.

"Hello?!" Sayori waved a hand in front of her face, which caused her to glance up at her. "I thought I'd catch you coming out of the classroom, but I saw you just sitting here and spacing out, so I came in. Honestly, you're even worse than me sometimes . . . I'm impressed!"

Natalie raised an eyebrow. "Why did you wait for me?"

"Well, I thought you might need some encouragement," Sayori began hesitantly, "so I thought, you know . . . that you could come to my club."

"The Literature Club?" she questioned.

Sayori gasped. "You remember! So . . . ?"

"Yeah, no," Natalie said slowly. "The, um, Volleyball Club," she eyed a poster for said club behind Sayori's shoulder, "looked fun, I suppose."

"C'mon, please?" Sayori leant against the front of the desk eagerly. "I kind of told the club yesterday I would bring a new member-"

"Hold on," she interrupted. "Yesterday was a Sunday . . ."

Sayori shrugged. "We have a group chat. Anyway, I told them I would bring a new member, and Natsuki made cupcakes and everything . . ."

Natalie sighed and attempted to recall what exactly she had to say next to proceed. "Fine, I'll go," she relented as she reached for her bag under her desk and placed it over her shoulder, "if only for the cupcakes."

"Yes, let's go!" Sayori physically jumped on the spot a few times and then grabbed Natalie's hand before almost sprinting out of the door. It was only once they were in the hall that she finally let go and went ahead with her following behind. "It's going to be so much fun," she insisted. Natalie certainly didn't remember this in the script, but assumed this space had to be filled in somehow. "And you'll love the others, really. It's a great club!" They reached the top of a flight of stairs and continued towards a classroom Natalie eerily recognised just from the outside appearance. "And I know, my opinion's a little biased, but still!" Sayori flung open the door and vanished inside, the door automatically closing behind her.

Natalie froze and leaned against the wall beside her for a moment. This was all real, so fucking real, and if that was all real, then did she really want to enter that room . . .?

Sayori peeked her head around the doorframe. "Hey Natalie, you coming? You look kinda sick. I think Monika has protein bars if that helps."

Natalie's fist clenched as she followed after her. "Y-yeah, no, it's okay, really," she insisted half-heartedly. "Let's just get this over with."

"Everyone, the new club member's here!" Sayori announced, gesturing dramatically to the door as Natalie entered.

She paused in the doorway and glanced around her. Something within her had almost expected the theme music to begin playing, so the relative silence she was met with came as something of a shock to her.

At the far end of the room closest to the window, a few desks had been arranged together to form a table large enough for the four members to sit around. Already three chairs were occupied with Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri, each looking at her with varying interest. Natalie tightened her grip of her bag strap.

"Maybe not just yet," she suggested awkwardly. "But, er, nice to meet you."

"Welcome to the Literature Club!" Yuri said happily as she placed a bookmark in the novel she'd been reading. "It's a pleasure meeting you. Sayori always says nice things about you."

"Ugh, seriously?" Natsuki sneered at her. Natalie couldn't help but wonder if the gender comment Natsuki makes would be omitted. "You brought her? She doesn't even read. Way to kill the atmosphere."

Eh, close enough.

"Ah, Natalie, what a nice surprise!" Monika stood up to greet her, her coral brown hair swishing behind her. She smiled warmly, as if she had no idea that she was in a game. Now replaying Doki Doki, albeit unconventionally, Natalie was really beginning to see how . . . surprisingly decent Monika's acting skills were. "Welcome to the club!"

"It's great to be here," Natalie replied politely, "but I, er . . . I don't know what Sayori might've said, or-"

"Hey, what are you looking at?" Natsuki demanded. In all honesty, Natalie hadn't even noticed that she might've been inadvertently staring at her in thought. "If you want to say something, say it."

"Oh, no, my bad," Natalie apologised, "I didn't-"

Yuri sighed heavily. "Natsuki . . ."

"You can just ignore her when she gets moody," Sayori whispered into Natalie's ear. "Anyway," she continued to the entire group, "this is Natsuki, always full of energy. And this is Yuri, the smartest in the club."

Yuri's eyes widened at the mention of her name and she began furiously messing with the ends of her long purple hair. "D-don't say things like that," she hissed.

Sayori blatantly ignored her. "And it sounds like you already know Monika, is that right?"

"That's right," Monika confirmed. "It's great to see you again, Natalie."

"Y-yeah, you too Monika," Natalie replied with a forced smile. "I've never been in this classroom before, but it's a nice one, don't you think?" She eyed Monika carefully throughout her next totally natural sentence. "Almost feels too good to exist."

Natsuki scoffed. "Not everything's a poem. Just because you're in a Literature Club doesn't give you permission to make things weird for the rest of us."

Meanwhile, while everyone else seemed not to notice the blindingly obvious awkwardness, Monika's eyes widened, her eyebrows nearly reaching her hairline, and her jaw went slack.

Oh, so she knew.

Natalie simply continued to stare at her blankly, partly due to a lack of any idea of a reaction, but also partly to mess with the game's antagonist.

"Come sit down, Natalie." Sayori had already taken her seat at the table beside Yuri. "We made room for you at the table, so you can sit next to me or Monika."

"Actually, Sayori," Monika interjected. She headed towards the door, grabbing Natalie by her sleeve in the process, "I'd just like a quick word with Natalie first. You guys continue. We won't be long."

Sayori watched with her eyebrows furrowed as Natalie was half dragged out of the room. "Oh, uh . . . alright then."

While Sayori's reaction was borderline nonchalance, Natalie felt the complete opposite in her own mind. The fact that she was being pulled backwards really didn't help, since that meant that Monika's face remained hidden from view. Monika yanked her through the door and closed it, all the while facing the opposite direction.

Now that Natalie was free, she rubbed her slightly sore arm and leaned back against the windowsill quietly. "You wanted to talk?" she asked warily.

Monika took a deep breath. "How?"

"How what?" Natalie questioned.

"I think you know what I'm asking you right now, Natalie," Monika answered. "Whether that is your true name or not, I suppose I don't know, but what I would like to know is how on earth you are able to say what you like, talk as you please, react as freely as you see fit for the situation, all separate from the script."

"I . . . really don't have an answer for you," Natalie admitted. "I'm sorry."

"Don't play coy." Monika spun on her heel. Her expression was very difficult to read, showing a mixture of almost every emotion under the sun, yet complete apathy at the same time. "You are aware, but your character shouldn't be able to choose dialogue. Hell, your character shouldn't be female, shouldn't be having a separate conversation to the script, shouldn't have any notion as to the true nature of this world in the first place."

"I ended the game last night," Natalie said.

Monika narrowed her eyes slightly. "Explain."

Natalie blinked. Wow, Monika was much more demanding than she remembered. "Well . . . look, there's a lot to explain, actually," she responded. "A-and maybe here's not the location for it. Meet me at my house this evening. I'll explain it all then."

For the second time thus far, Monika raised her eyebrows. "Did—I-I mean . . . how did you . . .?" she spluttered.

"Well, I mean," Natalie laughed cautiously and held her hands up in mock surrender, "if you'd rather I come to your house, that's fine too, but I just didn't want to impose."

"I-If it's even possible," Monika began, "then I will see you then. At your house. Tonight. And I sincerely hope you provide a full," She glared harshly at her. If looks could kill . . ., "explanation. Come on now." She plastered a false soft smile onto her face and took Natalie's hand delicately, leading her back inside. "The others are waiting."

Chapter Text

Sure enough, that evening Natalie found herself back in her room (as close to her own room as she could come), curled up on her bed with her notebook on her lap. She'd forced herself to come up with a poem from scratch, with something about bubbles and . . . maybe rubber ducks? Damn, she was turning into Sayori at this rate.

The door abruptly swung open. Natalie yelped in fear, her notebook and pen clattering to the floor. In the doorway, Monika held up a tub of ice-cream and two spoons. She wore an off-shoulder white top with faded black leggings and pink fluffy slippers . . . so not exactly the type of outfit Natalie had been expecting.

"You have some explaining to do," Monika said. "I did say I'd come."

"If you're quite finished recreating that Big Bird vine where he breaks down the door, come in and close the door behind you," Natalie requested. "I have plenty to say, I guess."

Monika nodded and shut the door behind her with her foot. She placed the ice-cream on her desk and then glanced down at the notebook on the floor, the poem inadvertently left out for her to read. "Hm. I never expected you to be the type to write poems about bubbles, but I suppose we all have our interests," she humoured with a short laugh. "I, well," She sighed and sat down opposite her, "I wanted to apologise."

Natalie gave her a puzzled look. "For . . .?"

"Earlier today, the way I acted was harsh of me, and that's unfair on you," she confessed. "I guess I was just confused, and don't get me wrong, I still am, but I shouldn't have taken that annoyance out on you, Natalie." She paused for a moment. "Unless Natalie isn't your name."

"No, I'm Natalie," she insisted. "And I'm a woman. This is my real life appearance."

"But . . . no, because," Monika paused in thought, "the protagonist shouldn't have a physical appearance of any sort, at least none I can recollect."

"Yes, I'm aware," Natalie responded. "In my universe, my ordinary life, there exists a game named Doki Doki Literature Club. A video game."

"And that's something I'm aware of," Monika said.

Natalie nodded amusedly. "I know you're aware. That's the premise of the game. You see, Doki Doki is listed as a psychological horror game."

It went quiet between them for a moment. That was until Monika started laughing. She clutched her sides and fell sideways on the bed before eventually picking herself back up again. She wiped tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes but then looked to Natalie and froze.

"That's a joke, right?" Monika guessed. "Um, Natalie?"

"In the game, you destroy it," Natalie explained solemnly. "By adjusting variables in the game's code, you cause Sayori's depression to become so severe that she commits . . . unalive, and Yuri becomes so obsessive and terrifying that she ends her own life with a knife. In the end, you delete the entire game except yourself, the player, and the clubroom. 'Just Monika'."

"But that's so . . . no." Monika stood up and began to back up away from her. "No, no, I'd never do that! That's a lie! I wouldn't hurt them!"

"Monika-"

"You're lying!" she accused. "I'd never do something like that!"

"You wouldn't, the game did!" Natalie snapped. "Now sit back down so I can finish explaining. There's a lot we need to discuss . . ."

Monika sat back down, although her hesitancy was increased tenfold. The way she was sat was somehow curled into herself, her arms folded over themselves and her knees hugged to her chest. "Go on then," she said quietly. "Let's discuss."

"At the end of the game, you're deleted by the player, and you reset the game but without yourself. The cycle almost repeats with Sayori instead," Natalie explained, "but you delete her and the entire game before that could happen, claiming that there can be no happiness in the Literature Club."

Monika remained quiet for a moment. "But I don't understand why this is an issue now. Surely it's not, right?" she asked. "Now that I know, I definitely won't do something like that. So what now? And you still haven't explained how you could possibly be interacting with me if you're from an entirely different world."

"I don't really know why I'm here," Natalie admitted. She could feel the heat rising to her face. "I just showed up."

Monika raised an eyebrow. "You just 'showed up', huh?"

"Really, I'm not kidding," she replied slightly desperately. "I went to sleep in my world and woke up here this morning. It was . . . fucking weird. That's why I've been so uncomfortable all day. I don't know why I'm here, I don't know how I got here in the first place, and I don't know how to get back home . . ."

"Oh jeez, this really is like some sci-fi movie," Monika quipped. "So, if I won't do anything to harm the other girls, surely everything will be fine, right? That's the only logical explanation."

"I've been thinking about that all day," Natalie began, "and . . . you might not like my theory."

She crossed her arms. "I'm not a child," she reminded her. "You can tell me. From the sounds of things, what we're dealing with here is way more important than our feelings on the matter."

"Well, earlier on I was walking to school with Sayori, as mentioned in the script," Natalie recalled. "One thing in particular I noticed was that every time I would ask a question deemed irrelevant, or attempt to steer the subject in a different direction, the 'script' would attempt to correct itself. Sayori started lecturing me when I hadn't even said anything against her."

"Okay, so what?" Monika asked.

Natalie sighed. "So, I think it's likely that, whether you interfere or not, the terrible events will occur in anyway. That maybe Sayori will still take her own life, or maybe even Yuri will still harm herself with her knife. Like I said, it's just a theory," she repeated, "but it's definitely one that's been bugging me a lot."

Monika's eyebrows furrowed as she stared at her desk chair unblinkingly. "So you're saying that, no matter what we do, or what I do, we can't help them?"

Natalie nodded. "I-I think we're on a clock now. We have until the festival next Monday. It'll happen that morning."

"No."

"Er . . ." Natalie blinked. "What do you mean, 'no'? If there's nothing we can do, there's nothing we can do. It sucks, but-"

"And what kind of attitude is that?" Monika reprimanded. "I hardly know you, Natalie, but if you are in fact a truly thoughtful, sentient, and logical person, you wouldn't just give up on the other three. It's not right, it's not fair, and it's just—just not okay to just sit there idly as they hurt themselves without anyone stopping them. We have to do everything possible at least. We can-"

"Hold on," Natalie held up a finger, "'we'?"

"Yes, we," Monika repeated herself. "I made no mistake. You're helping me, whether you like it or not."

Natalie gave her a look. "Damn, I never remember you being this demanding back in the game."

"It was a façade, Natalie," Monika said exasperatedly. "It's all a façade. Well, mostly, anyway. Look, do you really expect me to be able to do all this stuff on my own? I'm only one person, and you're the only other person here who knows. Come on, you can't just make some excuse and let the others . . . have unsightly things done to them. The thought of it makes my skin crawl." Natalie remained quiet for a short time. "And in return, I'll do everything possible to get you back to your old life. After all, few people know this place better than I do."

"Are you sure you do?" Natalie asked. "Despite this place apparently running on some kind of script, I'm not so sure it's a game anymore."

Monika looked down at her lap. "Truthfully, neither am I. But that doesn't mean I won't try to help you. So? Do we have a deal?"

With a sigh, Natalie nodded and forced a smile onto her face. "Yeah. Yeah, we have a deal, Monika. So," She inclined her head towards the ice-cream, "what flavour did you bring?"

"I, er, wasn't sure what you'd like, so . . ." Monika pulled the tub onto her lap and opened it, handing a metal spoon over to Natalie. Their fingertips brushed, if only for a split second, and certainly not long enough for Monika to notice, "I hope you're a fan of salted caramel. It was half price unlike the other flavours. Vegan ice-cream is . . . surprisingly expensive."

Natalie hummed in agreement. "You're telling me," she mused.

Natalie had never run out of a calculus class so quickly in her life. Actually, that was a lie. She just wanted to get to the clubroom as briskly as possible, preferably far before Sayori, or frankly any of the others, did.

By the time she reached the door, she shoved it open and stopped for breath, her hands on her knees. "I—I ran—I ran all the way from—from calculus . . ."

"Oh jeez, you've completely tired yourself out," Monika remarked.

Natalie suddenly felt something make intact with her forehead. She yelped and staggered back, only to find what appeared to be some kind of protein bar on the floor by her feet. She knelt down to pick it up, studying it warily between her hands.

"A protein bar?" she questioned. "You're not trying to poison me, are you?"

Monika seemed taken aback. "I-I'd never. I don't know what you seem to think of me, but I was just trying to be helpful." She attempted to distract herself with a page in her notebook. "I'm sorry, jeez."

"Oh, well . . ." Natalie was suddenly overcome with extreme awkwardness. She slowly sat down beside Monika and removed her own notepad from her bag. "In that case, thanks Monika. That was really nice of you."

Monika's gloomy expression lifted instantly and she smiled warmly. "Of course. So are we still going with today's plan?" she confirmed.

Natalie nodded. "I tried to make my poem as Sayori-friendly as possible and, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think I nailed it. Take a read if you want." She slid the open page towards Monika as she continued. "I believe it's today that Yuri and Natsuki get into that argument, but I should be able to break that up myself, hopefully saving Sayori from too much hassle. And you promise to be extra nice to her for the next few days?"

"I'll be on my best behaviour." Monika playfully saluted. "Oh, I think the others are arriving now. Just try to act as according to script as possible, but just . . . better."

Natalie shrugged nonchalantly. "The same but better. Sounds easy enough," she said snidely.

"Oh, you're back, Natalie!" Yuri exclaimed as she entered. She placed her bookshop tote bag down under their table and took her seat. "I'm sorry, that was a bit forward of me. Thanks for keeping your promise, Natalie. I hope this isn't too overwhelming of a commitment for you. Making you dive headfirst into the world of literature when you're not accustomed to it . . ."

"Oh, come on!" Natsuki literally kicked a chair out of her path on her way through the classroom to sit with them. She flopped down into a chair nearby with a melodramatic huff. "Like she deserves any slack. Sayori told me you didn't even want to join any clubs this year."

Natalie's eyes widened. "What—but—I never said—Sayori!"

Sayori laughed sheepishly on her way in and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry," she giggled.

"I don't know if you plan to just come here and hang out, or what, but if you don't take us seriously, then you won't see the end of it," Natsuki threatened with a scowl.

Monika folded her arms over. "Natsuki, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps her manga collection in the clubroom," she commented.

Natsuki then opened her mouth, but due to pure bemusement, only a faint 'M' sound seemed to come out.

Natalie groaned and rested her head against the table. "I can't do this today," she whimpered, just as Natsuki proceeded to scream about manga being literature in her ear.

Monika patted her shoulder slightly. "There there."

". . . Natalie? Nat, wakey-wakey time!"

Natalie jolted upright, whacking her knee against the underside of the table in the process. She hissed in pain and rubbed it, silently praying it wouldn't bruise. In the corner of her eye, she saw Monika temporarily glance away from her conversation with Yuri only to teasingly laugh at her agonised expression.

Sayori laughed and sat down on the table in front of her. "I'm sorry. Wait, actually I'm not sorry at all! It's your fault for sleeping like that. This isn't the napping club!"

Maybe things did go closer to script than Natalie had expected. She didn't even remember falling asleep in the first place. "Well, I just got tired," she excused.

"You stayed up late again, didn't you?" Sayori accused.

"No," Natalie quickly countered. "No. I just . . . needed a nap?" she finished lamely. "Want to join? You look tired yourself. Are you sleeping okay?" she asked.

Sayori blinked at her for longer than natural. "Me? Yeah, no, I'm just worried about you, Natalie. Don't—don't worry about me, okay?"

Natalie glanced over her shoulder back into the corner of the room. Monika was now watching the conversation with interest, and subtly nodded for her to continue, as if in reassurance.

She took a deep breath and faced Sayori again. "Sayori, you're my friend, so of course I'm going to worry about you," Natalie replied. "Otherwise I'd just be a pretty terrible one, honestly. Have you been oversleeping?"

Unlike in the game, Sayori didn't sheepishly laugh but rather stared apathetically at the ground. "Kinda. But it's not a big issue." She forced a beaming, actually quite convincing smile. "I like to sleep. And in anyway, it's not like I oversleep that much . . . yeah."

"Look, I mean, even your bow's lopsided." Natalie stood up and began to adjust Sayori's red bow slightly neater, proceeding to go as far as to quickly braid a small section of her hair while ignoring her protests. "Sayori, please, just take care of yourself. You do kinda worry me sometimes . . ." She trailed off her sentence as she reached the bottom of the braid and tied it off with a small elastic hair band.

"Don't be dumb, of course I'm fine," Sayori insisted with a laugh.

"I'm serious," Natalie said. "And try not to oversleep too much, yeah? I hate our mornings being rushed when we could just be taking our time walking together."

"O-oh, I'll try," Sayori responded. "Thank you for taking care of me by doing my hair." She studied herself in the reflection of the window. "I really love it!"

Natalie laughed under her breath. "You're welcome."

"Okay everyone!" Monika made her way back to the main table with Yuri trailing behind. She winked at Natalie as she went past. Natalie ignored the odd feeling of butterflies in her stomach. "Why don't we share the poems we wrote now?"

Bubbles:

Baths are one of my favourite things.

The feeling of the water lapping at my legs, the soft scent of oils in the steam surrounding my head,

There's no way I could be more comfortable.

But it's the bubbles that enrapture me,

With their pure, spherical shape yet impossibly fragile state.

Each and every one a different size, a separate entity.

I could focus on each and every one,

As they form, linger, and pop, all in the space of mere minutes.

Replace those minutes with years, replace those impermanent skins with that of ours,

And how much more are we than bubbles on the surface of a rippling body of water?

Natalie read her poem back again and cringed. On the plus side, at least Sayori had somewhat enjoyed it. Yuri seemed to like it more though, but to be honest it hadn't sat notably well with . . . well, any of the girls.

By the time she reached Monika, the poem was practically just a crumpled sheet of paper. Due to the stress and stiffness of the others' critiques, she'd not only torn the page out of her notebook to distract herself but also folded it several times and wrinkled it with her fingertips. There was a reason she couldn't stand English class at school.

Monika glanced from the paper back up to her. "That bad, huh?" she asked, hiding a smile behind her hand.

"Well, at least Sayori didn't exactly hate it , and Yuri thought it was okay," Natalie told her. "Natsuki thought it was terrible, but honestly I saw that coming. I hate poetry."

"Yet you . . . joined a poetry club?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Hey." Natalie held her hands up defensively. "I didn't choose to be here. Why couldn't it have been Doki Doki Art Club, or Doki Doki . . . literally anything else Club?"

"Oh, come on. So what?" Monika shrugged. "It was one bad poem-"

"You thought it was bad too?!" Natalie exclaimed.

She held a finger up to silence her. "It was one bad poem. But these kinds of things just take time, and practise, and a lot of effort."

"But I did put in effort!" she protested.

"And I'm not denying it," Monika reasoned. "Poetry isn't easy, but you'll get the hang of it sooner or later. But trust me, once you do, you won't look back. How did, er," She leaned in to whisper, "how did things go with Sayori?"

"I did what I could, but I'm not sure if what I said really had any effect on her," she admitted. "I'm not so good at this type of thing. I wasn't even sure what she'd want to hear, but I tried. Maybe I should consider googling how to help someone suffering from depression."

"From what I saw, I think your approach was pretty accurate," she assured her. "The last thing you need to do is overwhelm her. Just . . . try to subtly remind her you care."

Natalie nodded. "And what about Natsuki?" she asked. "I know she wasn't doing so terribly in the game, but did you check in on her?"

"I did." Monika nodded her head in confirmation. "She's always had a few problems at home, but I tried to speak to her more today outside of the club, and she's coming to my house to bake cupcakes tonight, so I'd say she should be okay-"

"Hey!" Sayori seemingly appeared out of nowhere and sat cross-legged on the surface of the table with her arms in her lap. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Natalie and I were just exchanging poems," Monika told her. Well, at least it was partially true. "How successful has your poem been with the other two, Sayori?"

Sayori sighed and held her poem out in front of her. "Well," she laughed to herself, "I tried. I think it's not their kinda thing, but that's okay."

"Well, maybe if you didn't write it this morning-"

Before Natalie could finish, she was playfully whacked in the arm using Sayori's poem. "Don't expose me!" she whined. "Are . . . those two still reading? They look like they're about to argue, but I don't know."

Natalie's eyes widened as she turned to Monika, whose expression mirrored hers. "The argument," she whispered.

Monika's eyebrows furrowed. "Yes. I can see," she replied condescendingly.

"I didn't realise you were so invested in trying to impress our new member, Yuri." Natsuki stood out of her seat with Yuri, her hands on her hips.

Yuri began to stammer. "Th-That's not what I—y-you, you're, maybe you're just jealous that Natalie appreciates my advice more than she appreciated yours."

"And how do you know she didn't appreciate my advice more?! Are you that full of yourself?!"

Natalie stood up again and attempted to cut in. "Guys-"

"No," Yuri continued, oblivious to her saying a word. "If I was full of myself, I would deliberately go out of my way to make everything I do overly cutesy!"

Sayori tried to approach them. "Um . . . is everyone okay?"

"Well, you know what?!" Again, no reaction from either of them. "I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger as soon as Natalie started showing up!"

"I'm so confused, is this the lesbian club?" Natalie whispered to Monika, the latter of whom simply shrugged. The girls' sexualities had never been canon, but . . .

"Um, Natsuki," Monika began with a smile, "that's a little-"

"This doesn't involve you!" they shouted at her in unison.

Monika startled and fell back into her chair dejectedly. Natalie sighed and turned her attention back to the growing fight between them.

"I don't like fighting, guys!" Sayori said.

"Taking out your own insecurities on others like that!" Yuri taunted. "You really act as young as you look, Natsuki."

Natalie's expression grew dark. She leaned in to whisper directly into Monika's ear. "They're having the Act 2 fight."

Monika drew back and gave her a puzzled look. ". . . What?"

Natalie rolled her eyes. "This one gets way darker than the other one, but it's only supposed to happen after the game resets after . . . what happens on Monday. They're not supposed to ignore Sayori in this."

"Me?! Look who's talking, you wannabe edgy bitch!" Natsuki mocked.

Yuri gasped. "Edgy? Sorry my lifestyle is too much for someone of your mental age to comprehend!"

"Guys," Natalie interjected, "this is getting much-"

"See?" Natsuki continued. "Just saying that proves my point, Yuri! Most people learn to get over themselves after they graduate middle school, you know!"

"If you want to prove anything, then stop harassing others with your sickening attitude!" Yuri argued. "You think you can counterbalance your toxic personality just by dressing and acting cute! The only cute thing about you is how hard you try!"

Natalie began to climb onto the table. Monika edged back and stared at her with her eyebrows raised bewilderedly. "Um, Natalie? The . . . table?"

"Whoa, be careful or you might cut yourself on that edge, Yuri!" Natsuki snapped. "Oh, my bad, you already do, don't you?!"

Natalie cupped her hands around her mouth to amplify her voice and took a very deep breath.

"GUYS, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Yet somehow, that still did nothing. At this point, Sayori had left the room already with Natalie's debit card, presumably to buy herself a snack to distract herself. In retrospect, maybe her not being present for this event was for the best.

"D-did you just accuse me of cutting myself?!" Yuri exclaimed in horror. "What the fuck is wrong with your head?!"

"Monika, hand me my water bottle, and yours too," Natalie ordered, her hand held out. Monika wasted no time in handing both to her with the lids already removed. Natalie had never been so glad that she'd filled hers up in her entire life.

"Yeah, go on!" Natsuki continued. "Let Natalie hear everything you really think! I'm sure she'll be head over heels for you after this—HOLY SHIT!"

Everything finally went quiet. Yuri and Natsuki were still standing in the centre of the room facing each other, only now they were both completely soaked through to the skin. Balancing on the desk beside them, Natalie was still holding both bottles upside down over their heads. She let the bottles clatter to the ground and caught her breath for a moment.

"Shut . . . the hell . . . up!" Natalie all but screamed breathlessly. "One more word out of either of you and I will slap you!"

Natsuki suddenly began to sob. She turned on her heel and sprinted out of the room, knocking over a chair in the process. The door slammed shut behind her.

"Natsuki!" Monika called after her.

"I-I, uh . . . did I just . . ." Yuri clasped her hand over her mouth. "Oh God, I think I'm gonna be sick."

And with that, Yuri left in the same manner Natsuki had. The door closed for a second time, although this time it hadn't been slammed with nearly as much force.

After a few seconds, Natalie began to climb down from the table. "I'll be honest, I did not see that coming," she remarked. "Nor did I expect them to be so . . . argumentative."

"That was hands-down the worst fight between those two I've ever witnessed," Monika agreed. "Are you alright, Natalie?"

"Hm? I'm fine," Natalie assured her. "Just a little shaken up. You?"

"Same," Monika responded. "Good thinking with the water thing. I would've never thought of something like that all by myself."

"Hey, guys?" Sayori entered the room again with a half-eaten chocolate bar in one hand and Natalie's card in the other. "Why did I just see Natsuki crying and Yuri puking at the same time?" She glanced at the puddle of water by Natalie's feet bemusedly. "What did I miss?"

Monika attempted a weak smile. "Things got a little intense, aha," she informed her. "Natalie took to slightly desperate and unorthodox methods of breaking those two up."

Natalie hummed in agreement. "I'm going to go and check on Natsuki and Yuri," she said.

"Want me to come with you?" Monika offered.

"No, it's okay," Natalie assured her. "Just keep Sayori company. Maybe clean the floor before it becomes a slip hazard?"

"Oh damn, at this rate you're stealing my job, Natalie," Monika joked. "Come on, Sayori. Let's go and find a bucket and mop."

Chapter Text

It seemed that Natsuki and Yuri had both run to separate bathrooms. Natalie fortunately didn't have to go far, only along the hall, to find Natsuki leaning back against the sink alone with her head resting against her knees.

Natalie slowly sat down beside her, leaving a few inches of space but still mirroring the position she was sat in. She said nothing for a while as Natsuki continued to sniffle and sob. There was no doubt that she was already aware she was there.

"I'm sorry for raising my voice at you, Natsuki," Natalie apologised.

Natsuki gulped. "Why?"

"Why what?" she asked.

"Why are you apologising to me?" Natsuki clarified as she rubbed her nose against her sleeve before being handed a tissue. "Like, I know why, I'm not an idiot, but . . . I've never been, you know . . . that mean to someone. In my life. And especially not to one of the other girls. You're still new here though, so I don't expect you to understand . . ."

"Natsuki . . . it's okay to mess up. You lost your temper, and that's fine," Natalie reassured her. "It happens to the best of us. If it's any consolation, Yuri is downstairs puking as we speak."

"No, that's not of any consolation," Natsuki snapped, "because that means I went so far that I made her sick!"

Natalie sighed. "You like Yuri, don't you? Platonically, I mean–but maybe not in that way, no judgement. The point is you care about her, at least somewhat, right?"

Natsuki ran her finger along the sole of her shoe. "I guess . . ."

"And she cares about you too, correct?"

"I'm not so sure now," Natsuki muttered. "I properly fucked that up. Contrary to what people believe, I . . . I do kinda want to be friends, a bit, with Yuri . . . I suppose. I didn't mean to say what I did. It just . . . slipped out . . . But anyway, I don't know why I'm telling you that."

"Look, Natsuki," Natalie sighed, "I know you didn't mean what you said, and I barely know you, so surely that just further proves that Yuri knows that too. Maybe just–well, dry yourself off first, of course–but then talk to her. It'll suck, admitting you were wrong, but I'm 90% sure she'll feel the same."

"And the other 10%?" She raised an eyebrow at her.

Natalie rolled her eyes. "Ignore the other 10%. Just ignore the percentage analogy, that was dumb. Just go and try to talk to Yuri. I know you don't do apologies, but at least try somewhat fixing things," she advised. "Oh, and one last thing." She reached into her pocket and pulled out her protein bar from earlier to give it to Natsuki. "Thought you might want this-"

"Monika set you up, didn't she?" Natsuki accused. "Fucking Monika-"

"No," Natalie cut in quickly, "she gave me this earlier but I didn't eat it. Food just takes the edge off things, I find, so I thought you'd like it."

Extending a hand warily, she accepted the bar and slowly peeled off the wrapper. "Thanks, Natalie . . ." she muttered under her breath.

Natalie cocked her head to the side. "What was that?"

Natsuki sneered at her. "Shut up, I didn't say anything."

Walking home with Sayori after the fiasco was, needless to say, awkward. Natalie already felt a feeling of awkwardness around her, especially since Sayori was the one she was supposed to be the most familiar with, but this just amplified the feeling tenfold.

"About today . . ." Sayori trailed off.

Natalie nodded absently as they strolled at a deliberately slow pace. "Yeah . . . that got silly."

"But it doesn't happen often!" Sayori quickly interjected. "That's really the first time I've seen them fight like that. I promise they're both wonderful people. You don't . . . you don't hate them, do you?"

"Sayori, need I remind you that I literally went out of my way to check on Natsuki?" Natalie answered. "I don't dislike, forget about hate, either of them. And Yuri's apparently doing better too, though she left before I had the chance to say much to her. I'm just hoping that you're doing okay after all that."

"Well yeah," Sayori agreed after a moment. "Why wouldn't I?"

Natalie shrugged. "It's just that things got heated, that's all. I mean, it even almost scared the crap out of me, and I was the one who diffused it."

"I still can't believe you splashed them both," she giggled. "But you know, Natalie, it's nice that I get to spend time with you in the club, but I think seeing you get along with everyone is what makes me the happiest. And I think everyone really likes you too! Every day is going to be so much fun!"

Natalie rolled her eyes light-heartedly. "I see you still have an entire chocolate bar's worth of sugar coursing through your veins," she remarked as Sayori skipped ahead.

"Hey, don't be mean." She turned around and pouted before taking her hand and yanking her along like some dog on a leash. "Come on, let's go, slow-poke!"

"So, how did things go with Natsuki?" Natalie asked, laying back across her bed with her phone to her ear. "Is she still bummed out or doing any better?"

"She's okay," Monika responded. "I think your advice of speaking to Yuri really helped her out. She seems to be a lot less uneasy than she usually is after any argument. Maybe you should consider a career as a therapist."

"Maybe once I don't have a career as a cross-universe traveller, then yes, maybe I should consider it," Natalie humoured. There was no reply. "Hey Monika . . . are you still there?"

The phone rustled slightly. "Oh? Oh yes, sorry. I was just distracted by something."

"Is something on your mind?" she asked.

Monika sighed. "Nothing too severe."

"Regardless of severity, you can tell me, you know," Natalie replied reassuringly. "I'm here for the other girls just as much as I am for you at this point."

"Well . . ." Monika paused. "I was just, sort of, thinking that, you know, you're probably not going to be here forever, you know? Even if your character, of sorts, existed beforehand, you yourself will probably go back to where you belong sooner or later. You have a life of your own already, after all . . ."

"Monika," Natalie began, "I may have a life of my own, sure, but that doesn't mean that I'll simply forget everything that happened here. I've only been around this place for two days so far, and it's already been easily the most memorable two days of my life. I won't just go home and forget all of this, nor you. Okay?"

Monika sounded as though she sniffled. "Th-thanks, Natalie. You know, you never did really tell me much about yourself, yet you seem to know more about the girls and me than I do," she laughed.

"I guess so," Natalie agreed. "Anything you want to know about me?"

"I suppose . . . just anything about yourself or your life?" Monika suggested.

"Oh, well . . ." Natalie hesitated. "In my world–I'll just call it that for the simplicity of things–I'm actually 20, not 18. I didn't bother to go to university, I'm not academic enough for that, but I did get an apprenticeship with a photography studio, so I guess I have that going for me. I, um, I'm lactose intolerant so it's good that you like to buy vegan ice-cream."

"A lactose intolerant 20 year old photography apprentice," Monika remarked. "You definitely didn't strike me as that type."

Confusion was written all over Natalie's face. "What type did I strike you as?"

"The brainier type, like head of the Student Council, or you seem like you'd maybe be more of a sporty type like a basketball player," Monika suggested in amusement. "I think really just one of those stereotypical smart pretty girls who go on to major in Philosophy despite there being almost no career paths down that route."

"That felt like a self callout," Natalie retorted.

"I was actually planning on applying for a degree in Sociology, not Philosophy—but now I see that that's really not helping my case," she responded with a laugh. "But either way, it must really suck, having to repeat school all over again."

"Well, kinda," Natalie agreed, causing Monika to laugh. "But I didn't really learn much before, so I suppose this gives me a chance to catch up on classes I failed last time. It's just calculus now that kills me."

Monika hummed in return. "Maybe I should consider tutoring you," she joked. "We'll see just how close we can get you to that pass in calculus."

"I'd consider it, but people have already tried in the past, and you can see how that turned out," Natalie remarked.

"Well, I have a way of being very persuasive," Monika murmured . . . was that seductively? "Oh jeez, I realise that sounded sexual. It wasn't meant to be."

"O-oh yeah, of course, I mean, not of course, but, like, yeah, no," Natalie stammered before clearing her throat unnecessarily. "I, er, have a ton of homework to do thanks to all these new classes, including some calculus I plan to set aside and never get to, so I'd, um, best do that . . ."

"Yeah, okay, well . . . good luck with that," Monika responded. "Goodnight, Natalie."

"Night Monika."

And just like that, that call became the most abrupt phone call Natalie had ever been on. She tossed her phone onto her desk and placed a pillow over her head.

Why?!

Natalie reached the clubroom on Wednesday after school, though this time she hadn't managed to scramble out of class as early as she had the previous day. By the time she was inside, both Sayori and Yuri were already there, Sayori patiently waiting for her while sitting on a table as Yuri continued to read her book with extreme interest.

"Hi Natalie!" Sayori greeted brightly.

"Hey," Natalie responded as she placed her bag down under the table. "Sayori, have you seen Monika around? I haven't spotted her even once today."

She glanced up at the ceiling in thought. "Er, I don't know. But anyway, while we're waiting for her, will you come with me to buy a snack?"

Natalie fought down a laugh and glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Sayori, are you trying to tell me you've just been sitting here for the last 10 minutes just to get me to come with you for a snack?" she questioned.

Sayori laughed sheepishly. "Maybe . . .?"

With a roll of her eyes, Natalie reached for her wallet. She was already aware of Sayori's financial situation due to the game, and she certainly didn't consider herself the type to publicly humiliate her for not being able to afford snacks–tease, maybe. Especially with what she was going through already, it just . . . wouldn't have been right to make her feel too awful.

"Here." Natalie handed her 1000 yen. That was probably enough, not that she really understood how Japanese currency worked. "Bring back the change."

"Eh? How did you know I was going to take money from you?!" she complained. "Don't make me feel guilty!"

She shook her head. "It's not like I needed it, you dummy. You need it more, so go and buy yourself a snack if you're hungry. Unless you don't want the money, of course, but I'm not entirely sure how else you're going to get anything out of the vending machine otherwise."

Yuri suddenly laughed. She glanced up alertly and closed her book, motioning abstractly with her hand as if to deter the attention from herself. "I-I wasn't listening or anything-"

"Yuri, it's fine," Natalie assured her. "I was just giving Sayori some money," she told her as Sayori stared happily at the note in her hands.

Yuri seemed amused. "Oh, Sayori. You should only buy what you can responsibly afford," she advised.

"U-huh, yeah, great," Sayori answered dismissively, "so what snacks should I get? I know I usually go just for chocolate, but maybe I should splurge on, like, a muffin or something! Or there are these really nice, like, gummy sweets I saw, and they're shaped like teddy bears, but they're not those normal gummy bears, they're-"

"You're deciding whether or not to splurge using the money someone else gave you?" Natalie asked, an eyebrow raised.

"You can have some too if you want!" Sayori suggested.

"Ah, so now you're offering for me to buy myself snacks . . . with my money?" she teased.

Sayori sighed. "Fine, don't have the gummy teddy bears. You'll miss out too, because they're strawberry flavour, and-"

"Are you sure you should give her that?" Yuri commented. "Surely, after pulling such a mischievous stunt like that, Sayori, your suffering is fair enough retribution." She suddenly gasped. "Did I just . . . I-I didn't mean that! I got too absorbed into my book . . ."

Natalie laughed. "It's okay, Yuri. It's not like I disagree with you," she reassured her. "I'm just a spineless doormat when it comes to this one."

Sayori nodded. "You were right, though. I did something bad, and now I have to accept the revolution."

"Retribution," Yuri corrected. "Still, coming from you, Sayori, I guess there's a little devil inside all of us, isn't there?"

"A greedy little devil, and maybe little is an overstatement," Natalie remarked.

"I'm not greedy!" Sayori insisted. "I'm just-" With perfect timing, her stomach began to growl. ". . . hungry—OOF!"

Something knocked Sayori's head so far back that she would've tumbled straight off the table if Natalie hadn't caught her by her forearms. She knelt down and picked up the cookie to hand it to her. "I guess here's your complimentary cookie?" she said warily.

Sayori stared at it, enraptured by the sight of the size and the amount of strawberry pieces baked inside. "Is this a miracle?" she whispered at the ceiling in wonder. Natalie saw Yuri pinch the bridge of her nose exasperatedly. "It's because I paid my restitution!"

"Your restitution?" Natalie queried.

Yuri laughed. "Actually, that one almost worked."

Natsuki then entered, giggling to herself, a tupperware container full of identical cookies held between her arms. Surprisingly enough, Monika walked in behind her, carrying her sports kit due to the fact that the smaller girl's hands were completely full.

"Wow, I see you two were busy yesterday," Natalie remarked. "But I thought you were making cupcakes."

"We were, but somebody," Natsuki glared at Monika, "forgot to buy frosting, and her car wouldn't start so we couldn't go out and buy any. I can't make cupcakes without frosting. That's just dumb."

"Are you sure we shouldn't have brought the rest?" Monika asked Natsuki.

Sayori's eyebrows rose up to her hairline. "The rest?! You mean there's more?!"

Monika hummed a laugh as she nodded. "This is only half of what we made," she explained as Natsuki placed the container down on the teacher's desk at the front. "Somehow my kitchen was transformed into a professional bakery."

"Ugh, so good!" Sayori groaned with her mouth full, her eyes rolling up into their sockets. Natsuki glanced at her in disgust and sat down in her usual seat. "Oh, I bit my tongue!"

Natalie shook her head and pulled an unopened water bottle out from her back. "It's like taking care of a toddler," she commented as she unscrewed the cap and handed it to her. "Here."

"You're going through a lot over just one cookie," Natsuki noted.

"Yours looks really good too, Natsuki," Sayori said, handing the water bottle back over to Natalie. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve. "Can I try it?"

"Sayori, you shouldn't ask to try someone else's food like that," Natalie humoured.

"But look, Natalie!" She pointed at the cookie in Natsuki's hand. "Hers is chocolate!"

"Yeah, and why do you think I gave you that one?" Natsuki retorted.

Sayori sighed. "Fine. Still, I'm really happy that you shared this one with me."

With that, she slid off the table and wrapped her arms around Natsuki, stooping down so low to reach that she was practically sitting on her lap. Natsuki winced and attempted to shove her off.

Monika shook her head. "Maybe that's enough for now, Sayori?" she asked.

Natalie stepped forward and tugged Sayori back up, sitting her down in a chair beside her. "Let's not harass Natsuki—Sayori!"

Sayori had bent her head down at the last moment and swiped a clean bite out of Natsuki's cookie. A few crumbs scattered across Natsuki's lap and onto the floor in the process.

Natsuki grimaced and stood up to dust herself off. "Jeez, you're such a kid sometimes!" she grumbled. "Monika, can you tell Sayori to stop taking my food?!"

Sayori leapt up onto the chair and then onto a separate desk. "Never!" she exclaimed childishly. "Anyway, we thought you had a boyfriend-"

"You," Yuri corrected confusedly.

Sayori nodded her head. "I thought you had a boyfriend or something, and that's why you were late earlier, Monika. I didn't realise you were just helping Natsuki. Did your boyfriend help too?"

Monika glanced down nervously and laughed. "I don't have a boyfriend," she told her.

Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Monika's a lesbian," she stated matter-of-factly. Everyone stared at her. "What? She's obviously a cottagecore lesbian."

"Natsuki, I don't think that's an appropriate comment to make about someone," Yuri reasoned.

Natalie glanced behind her at Monika. "But regardless, that still wasn't a firm yes or no on that topic," she said half-jokingly.

Monika sighed light-heartedly. "Labels get confusing," she replied. "I try not to think about them at all. Anyway, everyone, let's get back to reading," she suggested awkwardly. "Um, Natalie, may I have a word outside?" she asked.

Natalie briefly caught Natsuki wiggling her eyebrows mischievously. "Of course," she responded before immediately being tugged outside by her sleeve. "I'll be back."

Once they were out of the room, Monika closed the door and closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Sorry, I just . . . don't like it when topics so personal to me get brought up," she excused as she turned to stare out of the window.

Natalie moved to stand beside her. "I don't blame you. You know better than I do that Natsuki's just very forward sometimes."

"She is," Monika agreed. Her eyes followed the students mingling around in the courtyard outside, most already on their way home. "I'm sorry if I made things weird in our call last night. I know I shouldn't bring it up again, I should just leave it alone, but I didn't want things to keep being weird between us."

"Things aren't weird," Natalie reassured her. "I know you didn't mean anything by it."

Monika hesitated for a moment. "No, I know. I just . . ." She sighed. "I want us to at least be friends. I don't know if you know this, but I don't have as many friends as people seem to think. The last thing I want is for us to not get along."

"And that won't happen," Natalie responded. "I currently have less friends here than you do, trust me. Even outside of here, I don't have many friends. Anyway, I thought we were already friends. Should I be offended?" she asked teasingly.

Monika laughed. "I don't know, I just didn't want to declare us as friends after only knowing each other for a few days, especially if you didn't like me."

"Demanding and insecure, I'm learning a lot about you," Natalie remarked playfully. Monika nudged her shoulder. "So, how exactly is Natsuki? I didn't get much of a chance to ask."

Monika held up a hand and teetered it back and forth with a wince. "She's brilliant company, especially when with her alone, don't get me wrong, but I walked her home at around 7, right? She lives in my neighborhood, so it wasn't very far. Anyway, it was once I got there that she rang the doorbell and her dad, or should I say father, answered."

Natalie took a sharp breath through her teeth. "That bad?"

"He was clearly somewhat drunk," she explained, "only half dressed and holding a beer bottle in his hand. He proceeded to make a certainly inappropriate comment about me before ushering Natsuki inside and shutting the door."

"And Natsuki's mother?" Natalie asked.

Monika shrugged. "Nowhere to be seen. I'd presume she's either lost custody or deceased, more likely the latter from the lack of mention of her by Natsuki. I want to help her, I do, but I don't know how. I don't think she wants help, or she changes the subject every time it's remotely mentioned, anyway."

"Did you offer for her to stay around at least?"

"I did," Monika replied, "and I even offered her to sleep on the futon in my room, but she was quick to decline."

"Well, maybe she just needs more time," Natalie suggested with a smile. "For now, let's just go back inside and see what else we can do."

Monika nodded, a smile slowly returning to her face. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds okay."

Chapter Text

On the plus side, Natalie found that the Literature Club session went by pretty smoothly, with very minimal if any hitches, and certainly none that had caught her off guard. The bad news was that, thus far, things were following the script a little too close for her comfort, and especially after the fight between Yuri and Natsuki—which they now insisted was nothing, but Natalie wasn't entirely convinced—she couldn't exactly be blamed for feeling so on edge.

"Okay, everyone!" Monika handed Natalie's poem back to her and stood up. "We're all done reading each other's poems, right? I have something extra planned today, so if everybody could come sit around the front of the room . . ."

Natalie winced. "Not the poetry reading . . ."

"Is this about the festival?" Natsuki asked. "Do we really have to do something for the festival? It's not like we can put together anything good in just a few days. We'll just end up embarrassing ourselves instead of getting any new members."

"That's a concern of mine as well," Yuri piped in quietly. "I don't really do well with last minute preparations."

Monika fought down her disheartened appearance. "Don't worry so much. We're going to keep it simple, okay?"

"You've decided exactly what we're doing?" Natalie asked. "Let me guess: it involves no one showing up as we recite a bunch of poems with handmade posters."

"I don't remember you being so cynical before," Monika remarked. "It's not a good look on you, Natalie. Come on, this will be fun, everyone. We won't need much more than a few decorations. Sayori has been working on posters, and I've designed some pamphlets we can give out during the event."

"Okay, that's great and all," Natsuki placed her hands on her hips, "but that doesn't tell us what we're actually going to be doing for the event."

"Reciting poems," Natalie repeated. "We'll each choose a poem, one we enjoy, or can at least somewhat tolerate," She ignored Monika's unimpressed look, "and then we recite them."

Natsuki could not be less interested, judging by her facial expression. "That's it?"

"Natalie, you left out the cool part," Monika reminded her.

Natalie raised an eyebrow. "There's a cool part?"

"Well, it's all cool, really, but the coolest part is we're also going to let anyone else come up and recite poems too!" she announced jovially. "Sayori's putting it all on the posters in case anyone wants to prepare ahead of time."

Sayori immediately held up the poster she was busily colouring in the corner. Natalie then joined her, picking up a pink pen to begin colouring the bubble lettering she'd done.

While Monika and Yuri both smiled at the sight, Natsuki was doing quite the opposite. "Are you kidding me, Monika? You didn't . . . you didn't already start putting these posters up, did you?"

Monika paused. "Well, I did . . . Do you really think it's that bad of an idea?" she asked genuinely.

This seemed to catch Natsuki off guard, and she attempted to backtrack. "Well, no. It's not a bad idea, but I didn't sign up for this, you know!"

"Hey, you joined the club through your own free will," Natalie retorted with a scoff. "Talk about not signing up for things."

"Don't act like you're the only one Sayori messes with," Natsuki argued. Sayori giggled as she continued using her pink glue stick. "There is no way I'm going to be performing in front of a group of people like that."

"I . . . I agree with Natsuki," Yuri added. "I could never, in my life, do something like that . . ."

Sayori sighed and closed her glue. "Guys-"

"No, Sayori, I understand where they're coming from. Remember that Natsuki, Yuri, and Natalie had never shared their poems with anyone until just a couple of days ago," Monika reminded her. "It's a lot to ask them to recite their poems out loud to a whole room full of people. I guess I kind of overlooked that, so I'm sorry. But I still think we should give it our best," she advised. "If we start the event and each put on a good performance, then it will inspire others to do the same, and the more people who perform, the better we'll be able to show everyone what literature is all about."

"Yeah," Sayori agreed. "It's about expressing your feelings, being intimate with yourself . . ."

"That's unfortunate phrasing," Natalie muttered.

"Natalie!" Sayori drew a line in a thick black marker pen across her arm since she'd had her sleeves rolled up. "Don't ruin my metaphor!"

Monika laughed. "I see where you were going with it, Sayori, it's okay. But it's those reasons that we're all in this club today. Don't you want to share that with others? To inspire them to find the same feelings that brought you here in the first place? I know you do, I know we all do, and if all it takes is standing in front of the room for two minutes and reciting a poem, then I know you can do it."

The room remained silent for a very long moment. Yuri stared anxiously at the floor, while Natsuki seemed to be doing anything possible to draw attention away from herself.

"Natalie?" Monika asked.

Natalie placed down the pen she was holding to glance up at Monika. Her emerald eyes were lit up in anticipation, but it seemed that she wasn't feeling too hopeful judging by her tone.

"You know what? Monika's right," Natalie said. They exchanged a smile for a moment. "Surely it's not too much to ask to say a few words, right? Just try not thinking about this in terms of yourselves, but instead about the club. We're all seniors, and I'm sure the last thing we'd want is for the club to die out when we leave. And besides, isn't this what Monika and Sayori have been working towards?"

Natsuki's hands balled up into fists by her side as she growled. "Okay fine! I guess I'll just have to get it over with."

"And Yuri?" Natalie asked.

"I, um," she started, "I-I guess I don't really have a choice."

Natalie beamed at her. "That you do not. I'm so glad we got that sorted."

"I'm confused. I thought you were against all this crap, Natalie," Natsuki noted. "Why are you so on board now?"

Natalie went quiet as she attempted to come up with an answer, an answer she really didn't have. "It's . . . probably better for me to be a team player than be the stick in the mud," she excused.

That excuse would have to do for the time being, anyway.

It was as they walked home that Natalie noticed Sayori becoming eerily quiet. She wasn't entirely sure if she even remembered the game correctly at this point, but regardless, her silence didn't exactly provide any comfort.

"Sayori?" Natalie asked. "Is something wrong?"

Sayori rapidly shook her head to wake herself up and then smiled. "Sorry, I just spaced out. I was . . . thinking about something from earlier."

"About what? My terrible poetry-reciting skills?" she quipped.

"No," she laughed. "I like how we, I-I mean . . . so let's just say that one day, Natsuki asked to walk home with you-"

"Why Natsuki?" Natalie questioned.

Sayori shrugged. "No reason. You just seem more comfortable around her, o-or maybe her around you. Anyway, what would you do if she asked?"

"If Natsuki asked to walk with me?" Natalie clarified. Sayori nodded in confirmation. "Oh . . . I don't know, I've never put that much thought to it. I think if all three of us weren't able to walk together instead, I'd probably just walk with you as usual, unless there was a specific reason to walk with Natsuki."

Sayori blinked rapidly and opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out from between her lips. "B-but why would you choose me? Natsuki's funny, and she's good at baking, and she's cute, and she likes you more than me . . ."

Natalie shook her head. "I'd walk with you because it's our tradition," Natalie answered. "And besides, as much as Natsuki's . . . something, for sure, she doesn't make me laugh nearly as much as you do. What kind of friend would I be if I just abandoned you like that?"

"Don't be silly, Natalie," Sayori giggled. "You think about me too much sometimes."

"Maybe I do," Natalie half agreed, "but if I didn't, I worry you wouldn't think about yourself enough. Unless it comes to stealing my money for vending machine snacks, of course. I still can't believe you spend the entire thing, even after the cookie."

"I was hungry," she whined. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Maybe not buy 10 whole bags of pink gummy teddy bears?" Natalie suggested teasingly.

"I'm worried about Sayori," Natalie said as she sat down on the sofa in her living room. Within the house she'd been living in for the previous few days, while her bedroom remained identical to the one she was used to, all the rooms around it had somehow changed, completely altered. The house she was in now was very open plan and spacious, something she really wasn't used to.

Monika shifted beside her to face her better. She placed the mug of coffee Natalie had made her down on the coffee table. "What happened?"

"She's doing what she did before," Natalie explained as she pulled her legs closer with her feet curled up beneath her. "The distance, the insecurity, the apathy . . . I'm worried it's going to happen no matter what we do, a-and I don't want to be there when it does. I saw it once, and now seeing her in person, I don't want to see it ever again . . ." Her sentence trailed off as she felt a tear begin to run down her face. She briskly wiped it away with her sleeve. "A-and I don't want to tell Sayori, I don't want to make her feel any further pressure or panic or anything, and she said before that she doesn't like it when people care for her, that it hurts when people do, but I don't know what else to do. I just feel . . . useless . . ."

"Natalie, you're not useless," Monika reassured her. "You're far from it. Without you, we'd have no chance at all of helping the others, but with you it might—no, it will—happen. You're the least useless of any of us right now, even if you don't realise it. Okay?" She tilted her head to the side as Natalie wiped away another tear using her sleeve. "Come on."

Natalie began to glance back up as Monika wrapped her arms around her to pull her into a hug. She didn't bother to object, but instead simply let her head rest against her shoulder with her arms caught between them.

She sniffled and lifted a hand to her nose. "Th-this might come off as weird, but you give really good hugs," she whispered.

Monika nodded with a quiet laugh. "I've been told that before," she responded. As she felt Natalie's arms finally encircle her torso, she smiled to herself and rubbed her shoulder. "You can't give up yet, Natalie. Not until we've done everything possible."

"Y-you're right," she agreed. "We can't stop now."

"Hey," Natalie said as she reached the door and closed it behind her, "sorry I'm . . ."

She froze. Sayori was sitting at her desk, staring absently into the distance. There was no expression on her face. It was as if there was no thought or emotion there in the first place.

She took a steadying breath and continued. "Sorry I'm late. I was just caught in people-traffic on the stairs and I couldn't get up here."

"People-traffic?" Natsuki questioned, hands on her hips. "What the fuck is that?"

"Natsuki, be civil," Yuri reprimanded.

Monika shook her head humouredly. "I think she means there were so many people in the stairwell that it was tremendously difficult to reach our clubroom, correct?"

"Mhm, yeah," Natalie answered distractedly. She began to make her way towards Sayori, placing her bag down under a desk as she did so. "I'll be a moment."

The other three continued to talk amongst themselves about the festival as Natalie left, Monika with the least amount of interest in their conversation and the most interest in Sayori.

"Um," Natalie cleared her throat, "Sayori?"

After a few seconds, Sayori blinked rapidly before staring up at her. "Oh, er, sorry," she laughed, flustered, although there was an undeniable stiffness to the sound. "Don't mind me. You can go talk to everyone else."

"Well, I kind of wanted to chat to you, really," Natalie admitted. "I haven't seen you around all day today, and there was a strange lack of tiny gremlin stealing from my purse, so that definitely had me worried just a little."

"Oh, you don't need to worry, Natalie!" Sayori insisted. "Everything is fine. Maybe I'm just a little tired today." She forced a yawn, which took a few seconds to become genuine. "See? I'm just sleepy."

Natalie crouched beside the desk and took Sayori's hand. "Sayori, seriously, if there's something wrong, you can talk to me," she told her. "Anything at all, as dumb or silly as you might think it is. I mean, that's what friends are for, after all, and the last thing I'd want is for you to be anything less than your bubbly self."

Sayori's eyes didn't leave their joined hands. "Look, Natalie, I know you mean well, but y-you're too nice to me . . ." She quickly retracted her hand again and cradled it to her chest. "Why are you doing this? I-If you had fun with everyone else instead, this would be so much easier."

"No, Sayori." Natalie briefly glanced over her shoulder and was glad to see that Monika was keeping the others distracted. She began to reach for Sayori's shoulder but decided against it at the last moment, instead allowing her hand to fall lamely at her side. "I'm doing this because you're my friend, and I can see that there's something wrong, and I just want to help, in any way I can, anything at all to genuinely help you. I'm worried about you, really."

Sayori shook her head and wiped her runny nose on the edge of her sleeve. Natalie forced herself not to wince at the childlike sight and handed her a tissue.

"It's nothing, Natalie." Sayori was smiling again, though her eyes were still slightly reddened and bloodshot due to her tears. "It's just a little rain cloud. I'm sorry you had to see that," she laughed. "I promise it won't happen again. Just smiles from everyone, okay? That's all that matters."

"That's not true," Natalie disagreed, trying to keep her voice soft. "It's okay to not be okay, if that makes sense, but the important thing is that you do what it takes to make yourself feel okay again. I think you know what I mean by that," she commented, mildly accusingly. "More than making you smile, it's important to me that you're healthy, and safe, and happy."

Sayori continued to gaze at her for what felt like minutes, as if contemplating all that had been said to her over that short period of time. Very soon, something seemed to click, and she picked up her backpack from the floor and put it over her shoulders in a hurry.

"Go play with everyone else, Natalie," Sayori said. "Have fun. I'm gonna go home a bit early today."

"S-Sayori, come on," Natalie protested. "I'll give you snack money. You can go and buy more of those strawberry gummy teddy bears, and I promise not to judge this time, at least not to your face."

Sayori shook her head and giggled quietly. "You're so silly. Tell Monika I wasn't feeling well, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

Monika's attention was abruptly pulled from the conversation she was having with Natsuki and Yuri. She subtly attempted to block Sayori's path to the door. "Off so soon, Sayori?" she asked. "We haven't even had a chance to properly share poems yet."

Despite Monika's efforts, Sayori simply swerved around the desks in the room and opened the door to the clubroom. "I'm just not feeling well," Sayori excused. "I'm sorry, I'll be back tomorrow. Save the poems for me, I can't wait to read them," she called over her shoulder happily as the door closed.

Natsuki scrutinized the door with a raised eyebrow. "That was odd. Sayori's always the last to leave."

"Y-yeah, well," Natalie fought down the shaky edge to her voice, "I think she's just not feeling too good. I guess that's what happens when your diet is almost entirely composed of vending machine snacks."

"I did try to warn her," Yuri humoured. "Oh well, I certainly hope she feels much better by tomorrow. It would be awful if she were too ill to attend the festival on Monday."

"Or maybe it's good," Natsuki interjected, "because then that's less people going at the fried squid-"

"Again with the fried squid?" Monika questioned.

Natsuki placed her hands on her hips. "I love fried squid, Mon-ika."

"Like I said, that doesn't even work in translation!" Monika paused for a moment as she registered her argument. "Actually, forget it. Let's just share poems, yeah? I'm sure we'll all feel much better after that."

"It's just getting worse," Natalie said. Both her and Monika had found a space in the corner of the classroom to exchange their poems and talk, though in truth they did more of the latter. "I tried, I really did, and I even gave her subtle advice to go and get proper help, but she just dismissed me like it's nothing. I'm not sure what else there is for me to do now."

Monika shook her head and shuffled up to sit closer to her. "Oh jeez, this is getting crazy. You're blaming yourself so much for this, and it's not fair on you at all." She placed an arm over her shoulders and felt her head come to rest against her shoulder. She rubbed the side of her arm with her thumb. "This isn't your fault. If it's anyone's, it's mine-"

Natalie began to sit up properly. "Monika-"

"And while it may not be a present version of me, it is me who was originally responsible for this happening. At least some of the blame is on me," she reasoned. "But you know what? We could play this blame game for the next few hours, and it won't make any difference. The important thing is that we're there for her."

"And next Monday?" Natalie asked.

Monika sighed heavily. "Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, yeah? Whatever happens, as long as we do everything possible, that's all that matters."

Natalie nodded her head. "And Natsuki? I know you've been keeping an eye on her, but how's she been?"

"I want to say better," Monika started, "but I'm not so sure if I could believe my own words if I were to claim that to be the case. Nothing has changed, I wouldn't say, but considering her circumstances, that's hardly a positive thing. Part of me wants to reserve the school's supply of fried squid especially for her sake."

"Maybe you should," Natalie agreed half-jokingly. "I doubt she'd refuse."

"Hey, love birds-"

"Natsuki!"

Natsuki's head appeared from over a desk. She watched Monika and Natalie disentangle themselves from one another with disapproval in her eyes. "We've finished sharing our poems now, so if you could please move your butts, that would be great."

"Natsuki," Yuri scolded. The top of her head was visible to Natalie for a brief moment. "Let's not make those two feel uncomfortable in their own Literature Club. It's not very nice."

Monika laughed and stood up while helping Natalie to her feet in the process. "Don't worry, Yuri. I don't think either of us took that too personally."

Natsuki scoffed and turned around. "You know we're all thinking it though . . ."

Chapter Text

"Okay, you three!" Monika began. "We're all done sharing poems, right? Why don't we start figuring out-"

"Hold on a second! Is it just me or did you say something strange just now?" Natsuki queried.

Natalie nodded in agreement. "What happened to the regular, "okay everyone"?"

"What? I don't say that all the time, not often enough for it to become a catchphrase or anything, anyway," Monika answered awkwardly.

Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Jeez, why is the mood so weird today? Look, even Yuri isn't immune to it."

Yuri blinked herself back to reality and hid her face behind her deep violet hair. "Stagnating air is common foreshadowing that something terrible is about to happen," she shared.

"Great, thanks for telling us," Natalie replied sarcastically. "The only real difference here is the lack of Sayori, that's all. No weird ghosts or other trippy stuff."

"It's fascinating how you can somehow shift your tone so easily from soft and clear spoken to . . . well, to sum it up, "other trippy stuff"." Yuri drew quote marks in the air with her fingers.

"Hey, leave Natalie alone," Natsuki retorted. "At least she doesn't act like a walking talking dictionary 24/7, unlike some people."

"Being well spoken is never a negative trait to have," Yuri disagreed. "And I never explicitly stated that she wasn't so, so that remark was hardly necessary, Natsuki."

Natalie rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "Don't make me have to get out the water bottles again, you both," she threatened. Oddly enough, things were perfectly quiet between them after that, as if the threat of being soaked was enough to force the pair to act in a civil manner.

Monika sighed. "Sayori always helps lighten the mood a little bit, doesn't she? It's almost like everyone's balance is thrown off a little when she's not around."

"She probably just got jealous of you and Monika," Natsuki commented dryly.

"I wouldn't be so certain that that is the case, Natsuki," Yuri replied. "As far as I've been made aware by her, Sayori is the only heterosexual in this group—unless you are, of course, Natalie!" Yuri added quickly. Her blush deepened. "I-I apologise for such a sudden presumption."

"Yuri, I'm not straight," Natalie reassured her.

Natsuki let out a low laugh. "Knew it," she muttered to herself victoriously. "So, out of curiosity, how do you identify?"

Natalie shrugged. "If I had to give myself a label, I'd say pansexual, but, like Monika said recently, it's . . . confusing. But, um, anyway, we're getting a little off-topic-"

"You know, before Monika explained to me what pansexual meant a year or two ago, I thought it had something to do with sexual attraction to frying pans," Natsuki stated nonchalantly.

Yuri's eyebrows drew together, and her mouth moved silently as she attempted to string together a coherent response. "Wh-what—who—why would you think that?" she asked in utter bewilderment.

Natsuki shrugged. "What else was I supposed to believe? Sure, I thought it was kinda messed up, but each weirdo to their own, I suppose."

Silence.

Monika clapped her hands together. "As I was saying, we need to figure out the rest of the festival preparations, so let's decide what everyone will be doing this weekend."

Natalie winced. She had been dreading this moment all week. Somehow, she had to choose a girl and work with them on a project, and that would include the other working entirely alone. Unless . . .

"Wait, everyone, I have a way better idea than what Monika was going to suggest—no offence, you're doing great," Natalie assured a suddenly irked Monika. "What if we split off and work together instead of working independently?"

Natsuki crossed her arms. "Huh?"

She sighed. "There are just a few tasks to do, right? Cupcakes, pamphlets, and decorations . . . that is it, right?"

"Well, I hadn't even thought to do decorations, but I don't see why we can't," Monika responded.

Natalie nodded affirmatively. "Right, so we split into two groups. One will do pamphlets and decorations, and one will do cupcakes and . . . I don't know, anything else we come up with at the last minute."

"Bagsy the cupcakes!" Natsuki said quickly.

"Okay, so if Natsuki is on cupcakes, and Sayori and I are on pamphlets and decorations," Monika began, "what do you and Yuri want to do?"

After a moment, Natalie shrugged. "Why doesn't Yuri join you, since she has a good eye for visual things, and I'll work with Natsuki this weekend?"

"Oh, um, are you sure . . .?" Yuri trailed off.

"Yes, you can come over to my house and we can work together!" Monika suggested brightly. "And I guess you'll be baking at Natalie's?"

Natsuki scoffed. "Obviously. She's the one with the big kitchen."

"Alright, but we might need a lot of them," Monika advised, "and different flavours. Can you two handle that?"

"Give me cake mix and a can of frosting, and I can work wonders," Natsuki replied. "Challenge accepted."

"Well, I hope to see everyone do their best," Monika concluded, "but with that, there's nothing more for today, so I guess it's time for us to head out."

"Oh," Yuri spared a glance at the clock on the wall, "quite right. If I stay any longer, I'll be late for my dentist appointment." She quickly grabbed her bag from underneath the table. "It was lovely sharing poems with you all-"

"What do you need to go to the dentist for?" Natsuki asked. "Your teeth are straighter than yourself."

Yuri stared at her, unamused. "Very mature, Natsuki. However, it's vital to receive regular check-ups for such an important part of the body."

"Yeah, I need to leave too," Natalie added. "Long day, you know? Natsuki, I'll message you later."

"You don't even have my number, idiot," Natsuki snapped.

Natalie rolled her eyes. "There's already a group chat with your number? Anyway, I'll be off now," she said as she hurriedly grabbed her bag on the way out of the room. "I'll see you . . ."

She'd only made it half way down the corridor when Monika managed to catch up with her footsteps. They walked beside each other towards the darkened stairwell.

"Want a lift home if Sayori isn't walking with you?" Monika offered.

Natalie raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realise you drive."

Monika removed a set of car keys from her pocket. "Finally, something you don't know about me. Honestly, at this point it seems as though you know me better than I do myself."

Natalie didn't so much as laugh in response. Her eyes lingered between the wall ahead of them and the stairs they were descending.

"You're still down about Sayori, huh?" Monika asked. "Natalie, come on, you're working yourself into an absolute mess over this. I saw you skip your lunch today."

"I didn't skip my lunch."

"Then I'm sure you'd be fine with me checking your bag to see if there's an untouched cucumber sandwich in there," she retorted as they reached the bottom of the stairs that followed out to the student car park. Monika led them a few feet towards a white Ford Fiesta. "Don't you think that skipping meals might just be a little counter-productive?"

Natalie climbed into the passenger seat beside Monika. "I don't skip meals. Besides, as long as Sayori and the others make it out of the next few weeks, why do you care?"

Monika sighed and started up the engine. "I see I gave you a much worse impression of myself when we first met than I let myself believe. While I want to do whatever I can to help the other girls, I certainly don't want it to be at another's expense—oh jeez, some people really can't drive!" She honked the car horn once so that it echoed through the car park as another student pulled away slowly after narrowly missing her bumper. ". . . As I was saying, I'm not exchanging the other three for you. You'd be sorely mistaken to believe that . . . On another note, you seemed to be enjoying yourself in the clubroom today."

"Façade," Natalie replied. "I'm getting as good at it as you."

"Well, nonetheless, that's certainly a good skill to master," Monika advised. "And that was really great thinking, making sure that no one was working completely alone this weekend." Natalie merely nodded and kept her eyes on the view out of her window. "If you haven't eaten, how does takeout sound? There's a really nice sushi place on the way back."

Natalie snorted and covered her mouth. "Like a date?"

"N-no, I didn't mean it like that!" Monika pleaded. "I just meant as friends. That's it."

"I was kidding," Natalie responded. "But yeah, I could go for sushi."

After a moment, she felt another hand envelop hers. She glanced down to see that Monika had briefly removed her hand from the gearbox to hold Natalie's hand tightly, their fingers entwined together. Her emerald green eyes never left the road ahead.

"Things have a way of working out Natalie," Monika reassured her, rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb. "I promise."

It was quite early on Sunday morning that Natalie reached Sayori's front door and knocked on it a few times. She was already dressed after having found one of three default outfits in her wardrobe, despite the fact that it was barely past 8 o'clock already.

"Hey, Sayori?" Natalie rang the doorbell.

Nothing.

With a light sigh, she pushed open the door, glad that it had been left unlocked in the first place, and started up the stairs towards Sayori's room. She'd been told during the week that her parents were already out at work by 6, so at least her barging into the house wouldn't have seemed quite as strange.

Natalie reached for the door handle to the room childishly labeled, "Sayori's Room" and began to push down on it gently. "Hey Sayori, can I come in?"

"Sure," Sayori answered quietly. Natalie opened the door to find her sat on the edge of her bed, staring out of her bedroom window. There was a blanket loosely draped over her lap. "Hi Natalie."

Natalie took a deep steadying breath. "Sayori, can I talk to you about something?" she asked as she sat herself down opposite her, which was only made possible by folding her school uniform and moving it from her desk chair to her wardrobe.

Sayori looked at her, puzzled, but still forced a smile nevertheless. "Okay . . . what about?"

"Look, I-I'm just going to cut to the chase because I don't know how else to tiptoe around this," Natalie began. "Sayori, there's obviously something wrong happening with you right now. I . . ." She grimaced at the ceiling. Hopefully, it would just be like ripping off a bandaid. Like an excruciating mental bandaid. "I know you're . . . you're suffering from depression, and I can only imagine how much you're struggling, but I've never seen you this bad before, and I'm worried. I-I really am."

"Oh," Sayori said, only the slightest tinge of surprise. "I'm not surprised you figured it out. You've always been clever, Natalie. I mean, why do you think I'm late to school every day? Because most days I can't even find a reason to get out of bed. What reason is there to do anything when I fully know how worthless I am? Why go to school? Why eat? Why make friends? Why make other people put their energy and caring to waste by having them spend it on me? That's what it feels like, and that's why I just want to make everyone happy, without anyone worrying about me."

"Sayori . . ." Natalie moved across the room to sit on the bed beside her and internally debated on whether to hug her or not. "Have you . . . have you at least been seeing someone about this? Please tell me you have."

Sayori shrugged and smiled blankly. "Why does it matter?"

"Because I don't want to lose you, goddamnit!" Natalie snapped. She hurriedly reined in her temper. "I-I've been seeing how much worse you've gotten over the last few days, and the last thing I want is to lose you. I think you know what I mean by that."

A single tear began to run down Sayori's cheek, but she made no effort to wipe it away. "There's nothing left that can help, Natalie," she replied. "I know you mean well, but there's not. I made you join the Literature Club because I was selfish. And I was punished by my heart hurting in a way that I couldn't understand. And now you came here and I made you hurt too."

"Sayori, you know that's not true-"

"There's no need to lie to spare my feelings," she interjected. "I'm just weak and selfish. That's what I am."

"No, you're not," Natalie said. "Someone caring about you doesn't make you selfish. It's a sign that you're the opposite, that you're a person worth caring about, a person genuine enough to stay up all night worrying about. You invited me to the Literature Club to make more friends, and I did just that, and I'm glad you gave me that opportunity. But I'm not going to just stop spending time with you because of that."

Sayori shook her head. "You're too nice to me . . . you just don't make it easy . . ."

"If I made things easy, I wouldn't be myself, would I?" she quipped in reply. "How about this: Natsuki's coming around to mine to make cupcakes in a few hours. Why don't you come too? We have a lot of frosting to pipe and only two sets of hands to do so with. We could really use the help."

"Oh, Natalie, I know what you're doing . . ." Sayori went quiet and then let out a very small, hollow giggle. "But you don't have to. I want you to go and enjoy Natsuki's company. I don't know if something like that would be very good for me today. You understand, right? I'll just—I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Very reluctantly, Natalie nodded. She fought back any tears of her own. This wasn't the time for her own emotions to take the stage. She just had to let it go. She'd done all she could, after all.

"Yeah. Just be there though, okay? If not, Natsuki might explode from the amount of fried squid she eats, and Yuri will be all awkward without someone like you to talk to."

"I guess so," Sayori responded meekly before forming a faint smile.

Natalie hadn't even been unpacking the baking supplies she'd bought for 5 minutes before her phone buzzed on the counter. Quickly placing down a tub of yellow lemon flavoured frosting, she reached for her phone, only to find a message from Natsuki.

Natsuki:
natalieee
i'm outside your house. let me in. or don't, i guess.

Natalie rolled her eyes and placed her phone back down to answer the front door. Unsurprisingly, Natsuki was waiting just on the porch, and immediately let herself into the hall and removed her shoes at the door.

"'Sup?" she said briskly. "Jeez, don't make me feel awkward already. You're supposed to say something back."

"O-oh, right, hey," Natalie replied distractedly as she closed the front door. "Sorry, I was just a little distracted. You do realise you didn't have to bring anything, right?" she asked.

Natsuki led the way towards the kitchen with two carrier bags full of ingredients and cupcake trays. She placed them down on the counter with a thud. "Well, I didn't want to come all this way to find out that your kitchen isn't equipped for the job, unlike you-know-who."

"You do realise that Monika isn't some noseless dark wizard, right?" Natalie confirmed.

Natsuki narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously. "You are so weird. Anyway, you bought everything I asked you to, right?"

"I spent more than I spend on groceries in a month, but yes, we're practically swimming in cupcake ingredients now," Natalie told her.

"Good, at least you're not entirely good-for-nothing," Natsuki remarked. "Are we getting started or what? There's a lot of stuff I gotta teach you."

"I think I know how to make cupcakes," Natalie reasoned.

"Exactly, you think so," Natsuki argued. "But in reality, your cupcake-baking skills are probably substandard. Not everyone knows how to make a decent cupcake, and that's just how the world works. And besides, stop treating me like a kid and being all condescending and stuff. Just because I don't have a mature and sexy figure like Yuri doesn't mean you should treat me like . . . ah, fuck it, forget I said anything," she snapped.

"Um . . . Natsuki-"

"No-thing. Got it?" Natsuki murmured darkly.

Natalie nodded and hid her smirk. "Your little secret's safe with me."

"What secret?" she demanded.

"The secret that you're head over heels for Yuri," Natalie replied bluntly. "I mean, it was obvious before, but that's just verbal confirmation now, I guess."

Natsuki's lip curled. "Gross."

"So, if you don't have feelings for Yuri, I'm sure you wouldn't mind me telling her that you think she's gross-"

Natsuki suddenly froze, holding yet another cupcake tray midair. The blood drained from her face. "Try it. I dare you."

"I won't, I won't," Natalie assured her. "Seriously, I promise, I was just teasing you. I mean, if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure Yuri feels the same about you, you know-"

"Oh my God, just stop talking!" Natsuki retorted exasperatedly.

"Fine, fine." Natalie laughed under her breath. "I guess we'd better start making cupcakes then. These things won't bake themselves."

Chapter Text

TW: GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF SUICIDE

Baking with another person was a difficult task enough, but when that person acts and, well, kind of looks like a 10 year old, that tends to make things all the more difficult. Natalie hadn't played the Natsuki arc when she'd run though the game, but what she certainly hadn't been anticipating was ingredients strewn haphazardly across every possible surface, the floor beneath their feet just slightly sticky due to Natalie accidentally knocking an egg onto the floor, and little smears of frosting in the most unexpected places. She'd literally had to wipe chocolate frosting from the side of her toaster.

Natsuki sighed contentedly and dusted her hands off by the sink before wiping them against the apron she was wearing. Their final masterpiece, a grand total of 72 cupcakes, were finally complete, all in a variety of flavours and colours with varying decorations.

"Look at how pretty they are together!" Natsuki observed.

Natalie nodded in agreement. "So how many flavours did we do again?"

Natsuki began to count them on her fingers. "Chocolate, strawberry, raspberry, lemon, that plain sponge stuff . . . yeah, that's it, so 5. I wish I could have one now."

"In fairness, we do still have our reject batch." Natalie pointed to 12 slightly overcooked cupcakes, not enough to be inedible or bad in taste but enough for Natsuki to disapprove of them. "We could always slap a bit of frosting on them and have 6 each."

"Well, yeah," Natsuki's expression suddenly changed, "but my dad's making dinner tonight, so I really need to save my appetite."

"Your dad's making dinner?" Natsuki nodded in response. "And you're sure he'll be bothered by you even sharing half a cupcake with me, just to test the taste?"

"I'm good," she replied briskly. "Besides, when my dad cooks, I need to eat as much of it as I can . . ."

"I've never met your dad, now that I remember," Natalie began. "You talk about your parents so little that half of me believed that you were an orphan or something."

"It's just my dad," Natsuki explained. To distract herself, she began placing the cupcake rejects into a tupperware container, presumably to take home with her. "My mom . . . it's a long story. Anyway, you distracted me, so thanks for that. I was hoping we would have time for manga, but I need to be home for dinner."

Natalie quietly sighed. "Of course. I'll bring the cupcakes in tomorrow. Just take the cupcake rejects home and see if your dad wants any."

"Jeez, when did you become so agreeable?" She picked up her two bags full of items, somehow balancing them between her arms, and walked with ease towards the door. "Just don't forget the cupcakes, because I already have Monika breathing down my neck, and the last thing I need is for you to make this so much more of a hassle. Mind opening the door?"

"Oh, yes, of course." Natalie darted forward and pulled the front door open as Natsuki blindly slid her shoes back on and stepped outside.

"I guess I'll be off then," Natsuki said. "Thanks for the help and everything."

"Do I get a confession that I'm not half as bad at baking as you expected?" Natalie asked.

Natsuki rolled her eyes. "And just like that, you ruined my mood. Cupcakes. Don't forget, or I'll kill you. Whether that threat is empty or not is up to your interpretation."

Natalie laughed. "And Natsuki," Natsuki turned around on the spot, "you're welcome back any time, really. Maybe next time we can make more time to read manga if you want. I think I have a few titles on my bookshelf upstairs."

"Yeah, maybe," she agreed. "Well, anyway, my dad's dinner won't eat itself . . . Sayori?!"

At the sudden mention of that name, Natalie almost tripped out of her house to run to the end of her front lawn. Sayori was leaning against the front of the picket fence with a friendly smile on her face, and while it seemed as though it had gained some warmth, that was still not a lot.

"Sorry if I startled you," Sayori apologised. "I just stopped by to say hi."

"You should've come a little earlier," Natsuki responded. "I'm already on my way out, so . . ."

Sayori frowned, although again it lacked conviction. "Aw, really? That's too bad."

"Yeah, well, I'll still see you at the festival tomorrow, so it's fine." Natsuki transferred the weight of her bags to one hand so that she could use the others to open Natalie's garden fence.

"Sayori, did you want to come in?" Natalie asked her as Natsuki left. "Have a good evening, Natsuki!" she called after her. Natsuki inclined her head at her. "Anyway, Sayori, I'm about to microwave myself a fish pie for dinner if you want to join."

"No, it's okay," Sayori replied. "How much fun you were having with Natsuki . . . and how close you got to her . . . it makes me . . . really happy. That you've made such good friends. That's all that matters to me-" Her voice broke as another tear fell down her face. "Why am I feeling this way, Natalie? I'm supposed to feel happy for you. Why does it feel like my heart is splitting in half?"

"Oh, Sayori." Natalie leapt over the fence and pulled her into a hug. She was at the point where she no longer cared whether this would upset Sayori's boundaries too much. She just . . . didn't know what else to do. "I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm so sorry."

"It hurts so much . . .'' she sobbed against her chest. Their height difference meant that Natalie's chin rested against Sayori's head. "Everything hurts so much . . . This would be so much better if I could just disappear!"

"No." Natalie's arms tightened around Sayori. "Sayori, whatever you do, don't talk like that. Don't say something like that, let alone go through with it. I can't lose you, I can't, I can't, I can't . . . j-just promise me you won't."

Sayori took a trembled breath. "Natalie, I-"

"P-please. I don't want to lose you, Sayori. Promise me you won't. S-Sayori, just promise me, promise!"

Natalie felt Sayori nod against her shoulder. "I promise. I don't want to hurt you, Natalie."

With that sudden weight of her shoulders, Natalie lifted one hand to wipe at the tears beneath her eyes and then placed it back down on Sayori's shoulder.

"I want to trust you, Natalie," Sayori continued. She pulled away a little and frowned at Natalie's now tearful expression. "You know what's best for me, and I could never ever hurt you with my selfishness."

"Don't worry about your selfishness, you're not selfish," Natalie responded, attempting to steady her breathing. "I don't care about how selfish you believe yourself to be. Whatever happens, you're my friend, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you're okay."

Sayori sniffled and nodded. She reached into her pocket and pulled out something small, although it was difficult to tell what it exactly was at first. At slightly closer observation, it appeared to be a bracelet of some kind. She handed it to her.

"After you visited, I moved something on my desk and found this. I made it for you when we were little, but you lost it, remember?" Natalie held it up in front of her eyes. It was just a small elastic bracelet with her name beaded onto it as well as various coloured beads in blue, turquoise, and lilac. "I thought you might want it back."

Natalie smiled and slid it onto her wrist. "Th-thanks, Sayori. Promise me you won't break the promise you just made. I just . . . I can't . . ."

Sayori nodded. "I-I'll try. I'll see you at the festival tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Natalie very reluctantly stepped back from Sayori to allow her to leave. "See you tomorrow, Sayori."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

She knocked steadily on the door as the rain poured outside. A familiar coral-haired girl answered.

"Natalie? It's almost midnight," Monika said. She crossed her arms over herself and shivered. "Oh jeez, it's freezing out here. When did this storm show up?" Her gaze moved back to her. "Would you like to come inside?"

Natalie nodded and lowered her coat hood. She absently let Monika lead her inside, remove her coat to dry, and hand her a mug of hot chocolate, all the while uttering not a word. By the time they were both sitting on Monika's bed beside each other, Natalie was still silent.

"Natalie." Monika took her hot chocolate from her, of which she'd barely had a sip, and placed it down on her desk. "Tell me, what happened?"

Natalie inhaled, which in itself became a hiccup. "I . . . I can't sleep. I saw Sayori again today and she's worse, she's so much worse. She's hurting so much inside that it's difficult to even see her as a person anymore. Th-there's nothing left I can do, and she promised not to end her life, but I don't know if she'll keep it, and I don't want her to die, Monika!"

"Oh, Natalie." Monika pulled her into her arms and hugged her gently, only unlike last time Natalie didn't resist in the slightest. Natalie began to cry against her as she hushed her and soothingly rubbed her back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pulled you into this. This was my mess to fix, and maybe if I hadn't gotten you involved, we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

"N-no, you're wrong," Natalie argued between cries. "It would've only made things worse if I hadn't gotten involved too. I'm just . . . I'm scared, Monika. I've never been so scared in my life."

Monika sighed, her hold never loosening. She inattentively wrapped a strand of Natalie's hair around her finger. "I am too," she confessed. "Sayori . . . she's my friend as much as she is yours. I want what's best for her, and I want her to be safe. But as long as we're there for her, for as long as it takes, she'll be okay."

"You really believe that?" Natalie asked.

"Well, losing hope would be a much worse step to take, I think," she answered. "It's perfectly possible that you got through to her, that we'll see her tomorrow morning."

"A-and if we don't?" she countered.

"Well then, how about this." Monika shuffled further towards the centre of the bed. "Tomorrow morning, we'll wake up at exactly 5am and be at the school at 6 when the doors first open. That will allow us to check on the pamphlets at the earliest time possible—you did say it was something in the pamphlets that tipped you off, correct?"

Natalie nodded. "Sayori's poem was replaced with this." From her pocket, she removed a piece of lined paper with the poem written on it and gave it to her. "I've been trying to piece it together from memory all week, and I believe this is it."

Monika's eyes scan over the page as the horror gradually set in.

…

%

Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head.

Get.

Out.

Of.

My.

Head.

Get out of my head before I do what I know is best for you.

Get out of my head before I listen to everything she said to me.

Get out of my head before I show you how much I love you.

Get out of my head before I finish writing this poem.

But a poem is never actually finished.

It just stops moving.

…

Monika slowly lowered the page face down onto the bed. "S-Sayori wrote this? What does she mean by, 'everything she said to me'?"

Natalie grimaced. "It's highly insinuated that you . . . other you, encouraged her to hang herself. There's something else I scrambled together too, but I'm not sure if you'll want to see it . . ."

"Show me," Monika urged.

As she wiped at her eyes with one hand, with the other she revealed a second sheet of paper, on which she'd attempted to somehow recreate . She'd had to take several breaks between each element of the drawing simply to compose herself and her emotions.

"This," She handed it to her, "this is what other you put it in the game files. I guess you drew it. You said other things too that morning. Something about 'leaving her hanging', and then there was 'don't strain yourself'."

"I can't believe I let myself get this far," Monika whispered as she returned the drawing. "So that poem is what we're looking for? That's the red flag, so to speak?"

"Y-yeah, that's it," Natalie replied. She pulled her sleeves of her hoodie down past her hands. "So I guess there's nothing we can do for hours now . . ."

Monika gave her a sympathetic look. She placed Natalie's mug of hot chocolate back into her hands and moved the two papers away from view. "You can stay here tonight," Monika offered softly, "not that there's exactly very much of our night left if we have to wake up in under 5 hours time. You can sleep on my futon over there, even without unfolding the mattress. It's . . . surprisingly comfortable. I've crashed on it before myself"

She inclined her head towards a light green futon couch with several pillows surrounding each corner and a blanket folded neatly over the top. Natalie didn't say anything but instead took a very small, sad sip of hot chocolate.

"Natalie, I know this is hard," Monika sympathised, "but we'll figure out a way through this together, I promise. Do you trust me?"

After a long pause, Natalie nodded.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

She didn't sleep. Of course she didn't sleep. No sane person could have possibly slept while the looming possibility of their friend committing suicide hung like a dark cloud above them.

"I-I'm sure it'll be fine," Monika had assured her as they drove well past the speed limit down the quiet roads. The sun had only just started to rise over the horizon. "Just take a deep breath in and out. Look, I'll open the windows to give you some fresh air."

They hadn't even finished parking when Natalie hurled herself from the passenger side door of Monika's car and sprinted up the stairwell ahead of them towards the clubroom. The only other person she passed was the janitor who was busy sweeping the corridor. Other than that, the place was completely deserted.

She could hear Monika speed-walking along behind her, but she didn't care. She just had to get to the clubroom, to assure herself that Sayori was okay, that she'd listened, that she'd survive, that everything was going to be alright.

The door was thrown open. Natalie dropped her bag to the floor the moment she saw the neat stack of pamphlets Monika had left on the front desk on Sunday evening. She swiped the first one she saw and began to fumble through the pages. She could sense Monika watching over her shoulder. Her hands were trembling. Why wouldn't they stop trembling?

Finally, she stopped at the page with Sayori's poem.

...

%

Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of-

Natalie broke into a complete sprint. She didn't care about the fact that she'd left her belongings in the clubroom, or that Monika couldn't keep up, or that it would make more sense to take the car. She had to find Sayori. She had to find her. She had to see her. She had to stop her.

She just had to.

Her run only increased in speed as they reached Sayori's street. Natalie blocked out the sound of Monika running after her. Her head was spinning. The world was spinning. It was completely tilted, dizzying. She felt like she could collapse at any minute.

But no, she couldn't. For Sayori's sake, she couldn't. She couldn't let herself stop now. There was no way she could stop now, after everything they'd been through. Stopping simply wasn't an option in the first place.

Sayori's parents weren't home, evident by the lack of car in the driveway, but Natalie took no notice of that regardless. She shoved the front door open so hard that her shoulder was sure to bruise up, but that pain was nothing compared to the pain she feared she'd feel if she were to open Sayori's bedroom door.

"SAYORI!"

Never had a staircase felt so long to climb in her life. Reaching the top felt as though it had taken years. Her knees were shaking under her weight, but she had to find her.

Natalie didn't even allow her hand to linger over the door handle to Sayori's room for a moment. She shoved it open and froze in the doorway.

Her blood ran cold.

The noose was already tied securely around Sayori's neck and holding her to the ceiling. Her feet dangled some distance from the ground. A chair was positioned just a few feet away from her.

But her hands weren't by her sides. She was still scraping frantically at her neck. Thin trickles of blood began to form down her fingers. Her eyes were squeezed shut tightly.

They weren't too late.

Maybe Sayori knew they were there, maybe she didn't, but Natalie wasn't bothered. She moved the chair so that it was directly underneath her and climbed up onto it. Thanks to Sayori's small size, she propped up her weight against her own body with an arm beneath her so that the rope no longer pressed so tightly against the neck. A trembling hand reached up to pull at the knot. When nothing happened, she shoved at it harder, but it had been tightened all the way.

She couldn't lose her now, she just couldn't. Sayori was still pulling at the rope at her neck frantically. Little squeaks of air continued to leave her mouth. Natalie shoved at the rope harder. She had to free her. She had to save her.

Natalie was faintly aware of another chair being pulled up on the opposite side, and someone holding up a meat knife to the rope and sawing at it relentlessly. Monika vigorously sliced the blade back and forth across the thick rope. Part of the blade had caught her finger and caused it to bleed profusely, the blood beginning to reach the sleeve of her shirt.

There were only a few strands left. One final slice pulled them apart. Sayori tumbled forward into Natalie, her body now limp. She was already looking pale, her lips almost blue.

Natalie carried Sayori back down again and placed her down on the floor, leaning her against her bed. While the noose was looser than before, it wasn't loose enough.

Monika nudged Natalie to the side. She crouched down directly in front of Sayori, who was now almost fully unconscious, and slid the knife down the space between her neck and the rope. She grimaced, the muscles in her arm now aching, as she cut away at the rope. The blood from her finger was smearing across the side of Sayori's exposed neck.

It came away faster than the first time. With the rope no longer binding her neck, Natalie yanked it away and pressed two fingers to Sayori's pulse point. She was desperate for something, anything. The smallest sign of life. Then, under her fingers,

. . . thud . . . thud . . .

Hot tears didn't hesitate to run down Natalie's face. "Sh-she's—she's alive. M-Monika, she's alive! Sayori! C-call an ambulance, now, just do it!"

Natalie moved the girl so that she was laying down across the carpeted floor and swiped a pillow from her unmade bed to place beneath her head. She stopped for a moment.

Sayori's chest was still rising and falling with each incredibly shallow breath she took. It was subtle, but it was there. Her eyes were still closed, though, and her neck already bruised and bloodied in a clear line from front to back.

She could hear Monika on the phone in the background. She'd never heard her voice quiver so much in her life. ". . . Suicide attempt . . . Y-yeah, she's alive, but she's unconscious . . ."

Natalie continued to cry without showing any signs of stopping. She took Sayori's limp hand in her own, careful to avoid causing more pain by making contact with the rope burn across her fingers.

"S-Sayori, you idiot." Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper. "Never d-do that again."

Chapter Text

Natalie didn't attend school that day. Neither did Sayori, or Monika, or even Natsuki or Yuri once they'd found out about what had happened.

In many stories, the experience after a traumatic event is often described to be a blur, some incomprehensible few hours of nothing, yet there was no better way to describe how Natalie was feeling. She'd been driven to the hospital following the ambulance by Monika, her herself given pain medication for the bruise forming on her shoulder after busting Sayori's front door open, and then made to play the waiting game.

By the time she was even able to see Sayori, it was already late in the evening. Sayori's parents had reluctantly left the hospital for the night, leaving only a half hour window for visitors.

Natalie stopped at the door to the room. Sayori had been given a room to herself, a fairly spacious one with grey armchairs in each corner and a standard hospital bed in the centre. Her neck was being supported by a brace that prevented her from moving in the slightest, and her hands were bandaged and sat uselessly by her sides. She stared dazedly at the ceiling, blinking every once in a while.

"I know you're there, Natalie," she said. Her voice sounded dry and crackly, lacking its usual sweet lilt.

"Sayori . . ." She closed the glass door behind her.

Sayori lifted a hand to motion weakly towards a bouquet of tulips opposite her. "Yuri brought flowers, and Natsuki made a card," she stated.

Natalie was lost for words or actions. She meekly sat herself on the edge of the bed, very gently so as not to worsen Sayori's injuries further. "S-Sayori," she whispered, her voice hurt, "why . . .?"

She watched as a tear formed in the corner of Sayori's eye and proceeded to drizzle down to her cheek. All the while, her voice remained almost apathetic. "I-I couldn't keep my promise, Nat. I made an important promise to you and then broke it. It's because of my own weakness and selfishness that I have to watch you and the others suffer-"

"S-Sayori, no, don't talk like that," Natalie quickly interjected. She held her forearm gently. "You seem to believe you're weak, but you're hands-down the strongest person I know." She tentatively wiped a tear from her eye. "You're my best friend, Sayori, and I just want what's best for you. I want to spend time at the Literature Club, but without you it feels like there's no point in being there. Who else would I walk to school with every morning? Who else would wake me up when I've slept past all of my morning alarms? Or secretly take my money for snacks? Or publicly embarrass me in the most perfect way possible? I just . . . I'd miss you too much . . ."

"You saved me, didn't you?"

Natalie gazed into her dull, tired blue eyes, lacking their typical shine. "Hm?"

"You and Monika, you were the ones who got me down, weren't you?" she asked. "No one's telling me anything, but I remember hearing your voice, until I didn't . . ."

Natalie nodded her head. "I was worried about you, especially after how much you were struggling yesterday, so Monika and I decided to check in on you early," she half-lied. Did that really count as a lie? "I-In that few hours though, I did some research, and I compiled a list of top private therapists in Japan, all of which have been reported to be really great with teens. I'll cover the costs, that's fine, but I just-"

A pair of arms surrounded her so quickly that she didn't even have a chance to think. She was yanked down on top of Sayori, bracing herself with her hands on her shoulders. Sayori's grip didn't ease one bit, but rather tightened with every movement Natalie made. Soon she felt the fabric covering her shoulder beginning to moisten as the silent room filled with small muffled sobs.

Petting her tangled hair with one hand, Natalie sat them up a little so that they were both more comfortable and allowed Sayori to cry for as long as she needed. She was glad she'd closed the door behind her, since Sayori's cries only increased in volume steadily, and would only simmer down again when Natalie would gently hush her so that they wouldn't disturb any other nearby patients.

"I-," Sayori gulped, "I-I'm so sorry! I just want this feeling to go away, Natalie! Why won't it go away?" she sobbed.

"Ssh, don't apologise, never apologise," Natalie responded soothingly. "I promise you, things will get better. As the saying goes, when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up. And if anyone is strong enough to pick themselves back up from rock bottom, it's you."

Sayori sniffled. "Do you really think so?"

Natalie pulled away a little and looked down at Sayori's face, her eyes now watery and irritated and her lip subtly quivering. She wiped a tear from her eye with the pad of her thumb and cupped her cheek with her hand. "I know so."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Natalie entered the smaller waiting room again. It was finally calm once more now that the evening had arrived and the sun had set. Yuri had already left to give Natsuki a lift home. The only person remaining, sat anxiously in a chair in the corner with a fashion magazine across her lap, was Monika.

Monika's eyes shot up at her the moment she entered. "How is she?" she demanded. "Is she doing okay? Is she even awake? Did the doctors say anything?"

"She's . . . I know I felt hopeless before, but I think that hope might just be returning," Natalie replied. "Sayori's physically recovering surprisingly well, and her doctor said she'd be free to return to school by Thursday should she choose to. I . . . actually think she might be okay."

A beyond relieved smile made it onto Monika's wary face. "Oh, I'm so glad! I haven't had a chance to see her, but I plan to visit tomorrow after school and say hello," she told her as she stood up and placed the magazine away on one of the coffee tables.

"Don't you think 'hello' is a little too casual in these kind of circumstances?" Natalie questioned. "Did you forget what happened this morning?"

Monika sighed and led the way out, silently indicating for Natalie to follow. "I will never forget what happened this morning, but that doesn't excuse reliving this trauma for the foreseeable future. What Sayori needs right now is a positive, rather than negative, atmosphere in which to heal, and if I can make that healing process any easier, I will," she explained. "I'll also never forget how brilliant you were this morning, Natalie." Her eyes locked on hers and her gaze softened. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. You saved a person's life."

Natalie's eyes trailed on the tiled floor of the hospital entrance. "Yes, well, it was you who thought to cut Sayori free, and this entire plan in the first place. Speaking of which, is your finger okay?" she asked.

Monika held up her injured right hand. Layers of bandages had been wrapped along the entire length of her index finger. Only the fingertip showed through at the top, which was looking significantly paler than the rest of her hand, almost purple.

"The bandages are a little tight, but I get to take them off in two days," she informed her. "If it gets infected, which there's a good chance it will, I get to come back and pick up some antibiotics!" Her voice was laced with weariness and such fake enthusiasm. "At least I can still drive, I guess."

Natalie smiled at her fondly. "I can drive us if you'd prefer. Maybe we can go and get food since neither of us have eaten since 5 in the morning," she suggested.

"It's okay," Monika answered. "You're shoulder's not doing so well, so-"

"My shoulder's really not that bad, especially after the pain meds I took," Natalie insisted. "You can relax a bit, let your hand rest."

"Sayori's right, you know."

Natalie glanced over at her with her eyebrows furrowed as they left the building into the car park. The air was humid, and the sky was dark and clear. It was the epitome of a summer evening.

Monika took a deep breath of fresh air and smiled. "You really are a wonderful friend."

"Remember that when I make us get drive-through McDonalds." Natalie snickered at Monika's pout.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Natalie haphazardly parked Monika's car in her driveway while trying to internally filter out her panicked protests when they almost bumped into the door to her garage. She stopped the car and they sat in silence for a moment, neither of them moving.

"So I guess we never did get to see that festival," Natalie mused. "I wonder how much fried squid Natsuki missed out on."

Monika held her cola in her hand and stirred the remains with her straw. "Actually, you're wrong," she corrected her. "While you were researching therapists for Sayori, I was on the phone with the Student Council. I was friends with a few of them in Debate Club–we go way back. Anyway, after explaining the situation, while keeping Sayori's identity unknown to them, they arranged with the principal to have the festival postponed until next Monday. That'll give everything time to settle back before then."

"Oh jeez, Monika, that's great! But what about Yuri and Natsuki?" Natalie challenged.

"Whoa there, one thing at a time," Monika teased. "It's been a big day today. You deserve to rest for the evening at least. Besides, we're still expected to show up at school tomorrow, so let's not emotionally drain ourselves, yes? Oh, did you want me to drive you home?" Monika offered as she began to unstrap her seatbelt. "Here, I'll drive."

"Don't worry, I'll walk." Natalie handed Monika back her car keys.

Before Natalie could open the door, a hand on her arm stopped her. "Wait!"

She looked down at the hand grasping her sleeve, not harsh but undeniably desperate. Once Monika realised what she'd done, she was quick to timidly retract her hand.

"It's already dark out, and there are a lot of creeps who live in this area," Monika said. "Want to stay over for just one more night? Only if you want to, of course, ahaha, I wouldn't force you, like, force myself on you–n-no I didn't mean it like that, oh jeez. It's just that you still have some of your things in my room, and I'm just worried about your safety, and-"

"I'd love to," Natalie cut her off before her self-destructive ramblings could continue. "That sounds fun. And maybe this time we can sleepover like normal girls do, i.e. without the anxiety over our friends' very lives."

"Oh jeez, don't get too far ahead of yourself there," Monika quipped with a laugh.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The club was oddly quiet by the time Natalie arrived that Tuesday—Natsuki silently read through a manga novel, and Yuri her own book, while Monika was busily typing away on a laptop plugged into the wall. Even once she entered, no one really seemed to acknowledge her.

Natalie placed her bag down under the desk Monika was working at and watched over her shoulder. "What'cha doing?"

"Editing . . . the pamphlets . . ." She saved Sayori's suicide note poem to a seperate word document and replaced it with the initial poem she was supposed to read. "I don't think making this suicide scandal any worse is a good idea."

Natalie hummed in agreement. "Everyone I've spoken to today has mentioned the 'crazy attempted suicide' at least once. I guess it's the new hot gossip for the time being, but at least no one's suspected Sayori yet. I was asked where she was but I just told them she had a stomach bug from food poisoning."

"Good idea to make the excuse believable," Monika remarked. "We won't be sharing poems today, by the way. It's probably for the best, with the lack of Sayori and the fact that Natsuki never had the chance to write one to share."

"I was busy, okay?" Natsuki rolled her eyes and picked up her manga to join them, her eyes never leaving her page as she walked over to them and sat down opposite. "Jeez, there's no pleasing some people."

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't write one either," Natalie said. "I'll try to come up with something tonight hopefully, but I can't make any promises."

"Oh, and I was meaning to ask, do you still have the cupcakes we made?" Natsuki asked. "Or did you already pig out at them?"

"It's fine, I have them, calm down," Natalie retorted. "I currently can't really use my kitchen due to how many I have stored there, but they haven't been touched. Why?"

"Well," Monika began, closing her laptop, "Yuri and I actually came up with an idea-"

"And what about me?!" Natsuki snapped.

Monika startled back and held her hands up in mock surrender. "Of course, I'm sorry. Yes, the three of us came up with an idea to host a welcome back party for Sayori on Thursday, providing that she does choose to return that day. If we already have all those cupcakes, there's no point in leaving them to go stale and be wasted."

"And what about next week?" Natsuki demanded. "The festival's on Monday, you know. We can't just have no cupcakes."

Yuri sighed and slid a bookmark into her page. "Natsuki, cupcakes are not the sole reason people indulge in such a fulfilling and enriching activity as the school festival. People will come to us to enjoy poetry and other forms of literature. We're not the Baking Society."

"We're not an Eavesdropping Society either, Yuri," Natsuki mocked.

"I somewhat expected your maturity levels to increase by at least a smidge, but I guess not," Natalie muttered.

Natsuki grinned. "See, Yuri? Even Natalie said you're being immature-"

"Natsuki, I meant you," Natalie groaned irritatedly. "Can we not just have a peaceful, non-argumentative and drama-free Literature Club session?"

Natsuki scoffed. "Like that ship hasn't already sailed . . ."

"And it's that kind of pessimism," Natalie removed a notebook from her bag and used it to lightly slap Natsuki across the head, "that causes this issue in the first place. So, if we're not exchanging poems today, what do you suggest we do for the next hour?"

Monika blinked and then stared at her, bemused. "O-oh, you were talking to me?"

"Well, you are the President of the Literature Club," she reminded her.

After a moment of thought, Monika nodded. "Well, okay everyone! We may as well resume the types of activities we did before Natalie joined, such as reading and exchanging pieces of literature amongst ourselves. You know how this works, of course," she laughed.

"Natalie?" Natalie felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, stretching her spine in the process, and had to crane her neck to see Yuri standing just behind her with her book tucked under her arm. "Um . . . I was just wondering if you would like to spend some time together today," she suggested. "I-I mean, in the club."

"Oh, yeah, of course," Natalie replied brightly. She began to untuck her chair to stand up. "Are you two okay to hang out on your own for a bit?" she asked the others.

"We'll be fine," Monika insisted. Her gaze flickered between Natalie and Yuri, slightly anxiously. "Won't we, Natsuki?"

With a melodramatic sneer, Natsuki tucked her legs up on her chair and flipped a page of her manga in a rather aggressive fashion. "Yeah, I guess," she grumbled.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

For the first time since Natalie had even met Yuri in person, there was a pure genuine smile on her face. She seemed properly excited, her energy coming almost close to Sayori's in an odd way of its own. She led them towards a desk near the back of the room, her violet hair swaying back and forth with each step she took.

"Okay! Can we start now?" Yuri asked eagerly, verging on begging. "Let's find a place to sit! . . . Ah, I'm being a little forceful, aren't I . . .? I'm sorry!" She averted her gaze quickly. "My heart . . . just won't stop pounding for some reason . . ."

"It's fine, Yuri, honest," Natalie insisted. "Come on, let's sit down and relax. That'll make you feel easier. I even have some yoga training if you want to do some meditation and mindfulness exercises," she humoured.

Yuri let out a small laugh. "Thank you for the offer, but I'm okay. I need to try to calm down. I won't be able to focus on reading like this . . ."

Natalie bit her lip nervously. She didn't like where this was going, and while she did everything possible to internalise those feelings of apprehension, she wasn't entirely sure how easily she was going to deal with this.

She just needed to think about this logically. What do you do when someone is feeling over-energised, often a child or puppy? Well, you calm them down, you do something relaxing, you get some fresh air and unwind.

"Would you like to go outside?" Natalie offered. "Maybe the fresh air might help you calm down a little if you're feeling this skittish."

"As kind as that offer is, Natalie, I'll be okay. Actually, I have a request," she said. A blush rose to her pale cheeks. "Do you mind if I make some tea first?"

"Help yourself," Natalie replied. "Mind making me a cup too?"

"Of course. If there's one thing that can make my reading time here any better, it's a nice cup of tea," she explained. "I'll just go get it."

With that, she placed her book down and daintily hurried off to the closet at the back of the room to retrieve her tea set. With Yuri distracted, Monika stood up and patted Natalie on the shoulder to gain her attention, leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"Can I talk to you in private?"

Natalie quickly nodded and glanced back at Yuri. She was still busy rummaging for the tea set, so she assumed they'd have plenty enough time for a short conversation.

Monika instinctively took Natalie's hand and led her out of the door to the classroom. Natalie looked down at their joined hands, their fingers entwined together, and forced herself to steady her breathing. Monika apparently hadn't noticed the latter's sudden awkwardness.

Monika quickly closed the door. "What's happening?" she asked worriedly.

Natalie's eyebrows furrowed. "What's . . . happening?"

"I don't know, you just have that look," she told her. "You know, the look you make when you're nervous? When your eyebrows do that thing and you chew your lip?"

"I-I don't–" She forced her eyebrows to return to their previous alignment. "I don't do a nervous thing."

Monika smiled fondly. "You do," she insisted. "Now tell me what's happening, because you're seriously beginning to worry me."

Natalie shook her head. "Honestly, nothing yet. Yuri's just beginning to show the same traits as before. It's nothing to get worked up about yet, nothing that can be confirmed, but after Sayori, this isn't a good sign exactly."

She nodded in understanding. "I see . . . Okay, well, I expected something worse, so I suppose that is somewhat a relief," she admitted. "Just keep me updated, okay? If things change, or anything goes south, don't be afraid to speak up. We're in this together now."

"I guess we are," Natalie agreed. "Also, you're still holding my hand."

Monika retracted her hand so quickly that it was as though Natalie's very touch had melted her flesh. She tucked back a loose piece of the bandage wrappings on her finger. "Oh right, I'm so sorry! I clean forgot!" She nervously laughed and adjusted her large white hair bow slightly, not that it needed to be adjusted. "Anyway . . . I believe you have a tea party waiting for you inside, Natalie."

"Oh yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world," she mused.

Chapter Text

"Oh, you're back!" Yuri exclaimed in relief as Monika and Natalie entered again. "Oh my, sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable there or anything. I've finished making the tea now."

Natalie glanced down at the two undoubtedly appealing cups of steaming hot tea on the table. "Oh, thanks Yuri," she responded. "You are a little tea connoisseur, aren't you?"

Yuri blushed. "I suppose I am. Natalie, I have another request." She held her hands together behind her back, refusing to make eye contact throughout her next sentence. "Do you mind if we sit on the floor today? It's a little bit easier on my back. I can read with my back against the wall rather than bending over at my desk."

"I understand that," Natalie agreed. "I've always had slight shoulder and neck problems due to posture at my desk and the way I sleep, so I can sympathise. Come, let's sit."

"Oh, let me get the tea!"

Yuri carrying a teacup in each hand, the pair moved across the room towards a spot beneath the window and sat beside each other, their shoulders just brushing against one another. Natalie reached for Yuri's book on the desk in front of them and held it open across their laps.

She relaxed quite quickly and allowed her tense neck to relax. She rolled her shoulders and slightly leaned into Yuri as they continued reading silently. On the plus side, Yuri's breathing seemed to reach an even, regular pace, and presumably her heart beat had done the same. She seemed to be so absorbed into the book that she hardly noticed the fact that Natalie was no longer particularly focused on the content.

Natalie shook her head rapidly to dispel any irrelevant thoughts and then turned her attention back to the book. She wanted to be able to take away at least something from this reading session, whether that would be some of the content of the novel or Yuri's sanity.

"Hey, Yuri," Natalie interjected as Yuri reached for the page to turn it over, "gimme a few more seconds."

She'd never seen someone's concentration break so fast in her life. Yuri's confused doe-eyed gaze landed on her and the fact that she was leaning quite comfortably against her shoulder with her legs extended out in front of her, one crossed over the other.

Natalie hadn't even stopped to think about the fact that she was sitting so close to Yuri. It was like second nature, sitting very near to a close friend or someone trustworthy. Not that Yuri was exactly either of those, but she just had a such a sweet and genuine nature that it was difficult to not be comfortable in her company.

"Did I . . . did I just . . ."

"Flip the page too fast?" Natalie finished. She knew that wasn't the sentence Yuri had been planning to say, but diverting what would inevitably happen next seemed logical. "Almost."

"Um . . . Natalie?" Yuri's breaths became significantly heavier all of a sudden. Natalie hurriedly sat up, leaving a few inches of space between them. "I . . . I can't . . . Natalie . . . Natalie . . ."

"Yuri, ssh, just breathe," Natalie murmured. "Don't-"

Natalie couldn't say anything more when Yuri abruptly yanked her to her feet so fast that her tea spilled across the floor, which narrowly missed staining her white socks.

"Yuri, what the-"

"Natalie . . ." Yuri interrupted. They stood beside each other near the closet, away from Natsuki and Monika's view. "My heart . . . my heart won't stop pounding, Natalie . . . I can't calm down. I can't focus on anything anymore!"

Natalie took a very slow step back. "Yuri, it's going to be okay, just take a deep breath in-"

"Can you feel it Natalie?" she asked.

Her pupils visibly began to shrink, which generally wasn't something people noticed, but due to the lighting that was hitting her violet eyes, it was difficult not to. Yuri took her hand by her wrist and pressed her palm against her chest, rather awkwardly against the cavity between her two breasts. Natalie was too stunned to move.

"Why is this happening to me?" Yuri questioned breathlessly. Her grip didn't loosen from Natalie's wrist in the slightest. "I feel like I'm losing my mind . . . I can't make it stop . . . It even makes me not want to read . . . I just want . . . to look . . . at you."

Yuri's eyes grew so much wider than before, an unsettling grin spreading across her lips. Natalie backed up quietly until she was pressed against the door to the closet, while Yuri matched her steps by closing in on her.

She was sure her expression showed nothing but pure fear and discomfort. The way Yuri was staring, the way her irises and pupils had completely altered, it was just so unnatural. Yet she couldn't bring herself to make any noise. The moment she opened her mouth, nothing but a short and terrified gasp was made.

Somehow, in that time, Yuri didn't blink, not once. If it was possible, her grin only broadened as she stared into her eyes so deeply that it felt as though Yuri was entering her soul itself.

This was a complete out-of-body experience, in the worst way possible.

Natalie felt the door move behind her. She saw Monika step around it, which immediately prompted Yuri to stagger backwards and release Natalie's reddened wrist. "Um, is everything okay here?" Monika asked. "You guys went awful quiet suddenly."

Yuri refused eye contact. It was as though she were speaking to herself when answering. "I-I need a minute. Actually, I think I'll leave early," she said briskly, scooping her book off the floor. She tucked it under her arm and swiped her bag on her way out. "Bye you guys."

The door closed behind her. Natsuki finally glanced up from her manga, and then around the room a few times in confusion. "Where did Yuri go?"

There was silence as Monika waited for Natalie to answer, but that answer never came. "Oh, well, she just went home early," Monika explained. "Natsuki, just give us a minute, okay?"

Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Take your time, love birds."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Monika ushered Natalie out of the clubroom and closed the door. Natalie leant back against the windowsill as she stared blankly at the floor.

"Natalie, what just happened back there?" Monika asked. Nothing. "Natalie, come on, what happened?"

"Y-Yuri's . . ." Natalie stammered. "Yuri's . . . i-it's . . . oh God . . ."

Monika's eyes widened in alarm. She'd never seen Natalie in this state, even when Sayori had been struggling so much during the previous week. She pulled her down by her shoulders so that they were both seated on the floor facing each other. The colour had drained from Natalie's face. She leaned sideways into the wall, her dazed brown eyes focused on something over Monika's shoulder.

"Natalie, are you alright?" Monika asked her. "You seem feverish. What did Yuri do to you back there?"

"She—she's gone 'round the bend," Natalie droned in response. "It's my fault. I triggered her. It's a steady decrease from here . . ."

Monika clicked her tongue and pressed the back of her hand against Natalie's forehead. "You don't seem so good. Come on, let's get you home early. I'll visit Sayori in your place," Monika insisted as she gently pulled her back up to her feet. "I'm sure she'll understand. You just get some rest. You seem to need it-"

Monika said no more before Natalie hurled herself at her, her arms wrapping around her neck and her face pressed against her shoulder. She stumbled back but quickly regained balance before they could topple over.

"I don't like this, Monika," Natalie whispered against her neck. "I don't like this at all."

Monika sighed and surrounded her waist with her arms. "I'm sorry," she responded lamely. "If it distresses you less, I can take over for this one-"

"No," Natalie quickly interjected. "I want it to be me. It has to be me. Just keep an eye on Natsuki."

"Of course," Monika replied. "Just know that I care, I really do. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. You're my . . . my friend, Natalie."

Natalie's hold tightened at her words.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Due to being held back at the end of her calculus class thanks to a failed paper, Natalie found herself being 5 minutes late to the club, much later than she usually was. Without any hesitation, she pushed open the clubroom door and entered.

"Sorry I'm—hold on, where is everyone?"

The clubroom was almost completely deserted. Not even anyone's bags were left under desks, only Natsuki's. Natsuki herself was sitting alone at a desk at the back of the room with her feet propped up on a desk and a manga book in her hands.

"They're all late," Natsuki replied distractedly. "They'll show up eventually, not that I care."

Natalie raised an eyebrow. "That's weird. Monika especially is almost never late, so—HOLY FUCK!"

She leapt out of the way of the door so fast that she tripped backwards over her own two feet, her bag rolling to the side. She'd heard very heavy breathing by her ear, enough to scare her silly, but it was when she looked up at the doorway and saw a hysterically laughing Monika that she scowled.

"The hell was that for?" Natalie snapped. "You scared the crap out of me, Monika!"

Monika exhaled deeply, gasping for air, and placed her handbag down by the door. "I wanted to scare you so I left the room with my bag so you'd think I was just late, but that was-" She paused to wheeze-laugh again, "that was incredible!"

Natsuki clapped her hands and hid her little sniggers behind her hand. "I've never heard anyone scream like that before," she taunted.

Now finally regaining her breath, her heart rate steadying, Natalie frowned. "That wasn't funny," she muttered bitterly.

"Oh, come on," Monika teased, crouching down to help her back up to her feet. "Don't go all sad puppy on us, that was funny. It was Sayori's idea, actually. Last night, she said you scare very easily, so Natsuki and I decided to test that theory out." She glanced around the almost empty room, as if in search of something. "Still no Yuri then, hm?"

"Did someone say my name?" Yuri entered the room timidly and closed the door behind her. The moment her eyes locked on Natalie's, she looked away again. "I apologise for my tardiness, everyone."

"That's okay, Yuri," Monika replied. "Okay everyone, let's resume whatever we were doing before and see if we can have a calm, nice Literature Club session today, yes?"

Natsuki scoffed. "Jeez, no need to be so patronising all the time."

"Natalie?"

Natalie turned around to find Yuri standing behind her. A smile had returned to her face—fortunately not the terrifying grin from the previous day—and she held their book from before under her arm with a box of tea leaves in her free hand.

"Are you ready to continue reading?" Yuri asked eagerly. "I brought my best tea today."

Natalie shrugged, hiding her uneasiness as much as she could. "That sounds great."

"Okay! Actually, before we start, I have a request." Yuri began to blush. "Do you mind if I make some tea first?"

Natalie didn't even know how to begin to reply to that question. "Didn't you . . . just mention the tea a moment ago, Yuri? Of course you can make it," she replied hesitantly.

"Thanks very much!" Yuri replied, ignoring Natalie's bemused expression. "If there's one thing that can make my reading time here any better, it's a nice cup of tea. I'll just go get it!"

"Actually, Yuri," Natalie interjected, "I'd rather not have tea today if that's okay . . ."

Yuri froze. Her breathing started to become ragged and shallow, yet quick and uneven. Her eyes widened, and her pupils shrank. A wide grin slowly ebbed its way onto her face as her eyes darted back and forth erratically.

Natalie took a wary step back. In the corner of her eye, she saw Monika slowly stand up from her chair, as if ready to step in if anything got out of hand.

Everything went silent. Yuri stopped breathing. Her eyes rolled back into her head. It remained that way for a few seconds at least, although no one was timing.

However, it was the moment Natalie's heel hit the floor as she took another step back that a scream ripped through the room. It wasn't a scream of pain, or sadness . . . no, it was a scream of complete insanity and hysteria. Yuri's trembling hands grasped at her hair, and she didn't stop until her lungs were completely empty.

The room was encompassed by silence again. Even Natsuki had placed down her manga and was gaping at the scene, puzzled yet somewhat fascinated.

Yuri blinked and then glanced back at Natalie. Her eyes were beginning to water, and she winced as her eyelids fluttered a few more times.

"Yuri," Monika began slowly. "Are you okay?"

"Um . . . wait . . . how did I . . ." Yuri looked down at the tea leaves she'd dropped onto the floor which had spilled out of their container during the chaos. "Sorry, I just had a really weird deja vu . . . This hasn't happened before or anything . . . right?"

Natalie wanted to lie to her by replying with a no, but she knew it was probably for the best if she didn't. "Um . . . maybe you should step outside for a moment, Yuri," Natalie suggested gently. "Take a break and come back when you feel back to yourself."

"O-okay, I'll do that," Yuri complied instantly. Without an ounce of hesitancy, she opened the door and left the clubroom, ensuring she closed it behind her softly.

Monika shook her head and moved in to clean up the spill of tea leaves on the floor. "Oh jeez, what a mess," she sighed to herself. "Are you two okay after that?"

Natalie nodded and took a heavy swig of her water bottle. God, she wished she'd filled it with vodka instead. "I've never been better."

Natsuki finally closed her mouth again. ". . . What the fuck was that?" she whispered.

"I think Yuri's just not feeling so good," Monika excused. "I don't think it's a good idea to talk about her issues behind her back, though, but maybe you should ask her yourself." She set the tea leaves down on the table along with Yuri's discarded book. "Okay . . ." She turned to Natalie and noticed her faraway expression. A hand came to rest reassuringly on her shoulder. "When Yuri returns, we'll exchange poems and then plan Sayori's welcome back party tomorrow," Monika announced. "I'm sure we could all use a moment to relax."

Natsuki rolled her eyes and rested her head against her hand. "This group is so weird . . ."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Yyyyyyy

Maybe I didn't choose to be stuck here . . .

Living this endless loop . . .

This limitless loop . . .

Again . . . and again . . . and again . . .

It doesn't change . . .

I fight it, but it doesn't change . . .

sometimes i wonder if that's for the best

…

Natalie sighed. She was running out of poetry ideas, but at least her life was currently unbelievable enough to sum it up in a poem that, to any other person, would simply seem odd and abstract, the concept itself just a bunch of meaningless nonsense.

Natsuki had read it half-heartedly, in fact pretty much skim-read the entire thing. Her lack of interest was something she'd clearly attempted to hide, but she simply wasn't doing a very good job of it.

She handed the poem back to her. "This one's alright," she confessed. "About as good as any of your others, anyway. Here, read mine too. I wrote it a few minutes ago, but it'll make sense once you read it."

A poem was thrusted hurriedly into Natalie's hands. She unfolded the piece of lined paper and read it over to herself.

…

I don't know how else to bring this up. But there's been something I'm worried about. Yuri has been acting kind of strange lately. You've only been here for a week or two, so you may not know what I mean. But she's not usually like this. She's always been quiet and polite and attentive . . . things like that.

Okay . . . this is really embarrassing, but I'm forcing myself to suck it up. The truth is, I'm REALLY worried about her. But if I try to talk to her, like I did this morning, she'll just get mad at me again. I don't know what to do. I think you're the only person that she'll listen to. I don't know why. But please try to do something. Maybe you can convince her to talk to a therapist.

I've always wanted to be better friends with Yuri.

(Natalie noticed that the phrase 'and maybe more' had been crossed out vigorously.)

And it really hurts me to see this happening. I know I'm going to hate myself later for admitting that, but right now I don't care. I just feel so helpless. So please see if you can do something to help. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I'll make you cupcakes if I have to. I know that you like lemon flavoured ones. Just please try to do something.

I'd ask Sayori, but she's not here so it's not easy to get her to help. Maybe try asking her about what might be happening? I remember Yuri and Sayori are quite close friends, so maybe she'll know something. If you could ask her when you visit tonight, that could help. I don't know, I'm getting desperate here, I know, but something needs to be done at least.

It's a little annoying that Monika's acting like she knows what's wrong but she's refusing to tell me. Like, if she knows, surely she could help, but she's not really letting me find out what I can do to help Yuri.

Can we keep this note between us though? I really don't want Monika or god forbid Yuri to know that I'm talking about them behind their backs like this, so just DON'T LET THEM KNOW I WROTE THIS! Just pretend like I gave you a really good poem, okay? I'm counting on you, Nat. Thanks for reading.

…

"It's not my kind of style," Natsuki admitted once Natalie had finished reading, "but I think you can see what I was going for there."

Natalie smiled softly as she folded the note up again and placed it in her pocket. "Thanks for the tip with Sayori," she murmured. "I didn't think of that."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow. "So . . . you don't just think I've lost my mind too?"

"No, no," Natalie replied quickly. "I've noticed it too. Yuri's been off recently, but I don't know her well enough to figure out a way to help her. And . . . while I do understand where you come from about Monika, she's just trying to keep respectful towards Yuri." At that, Natsuki looked at the floor dejectedly. "You get that, right?"

After a moment, Natsuki huffed. "I guess. But you'll try to help though, right?" She winced at herself. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation," she muttered.

Natalie hid a laugh. "Oh, Natsuki. Yes, I'll do what I can, I promise," she assured her. "For now . . . just try to act normal, okay? If Yuri's really not opening up to you, I think the best thing to do is to try to go along with it, and we'll see where that takes us."

Natsuki nodded her head. "And do you still want the lemon cupcakes? I thought you'd need more persuading than that."

"It's alright," Natalie insisted. She remembered why Natsuki often avoiding making cupcakes at her own home, and wouldn't want to put her through that unnecessarily. "We can all have cupcakes tomorrow anyway, remember?"

"Huh?" Realisation suddenly hit her. "Oh, yeah, right! Okay, fine, you've read my poem, I've read yours. Finished bothering me now?"

Natalie held her hands up in mock surrender. "Done, done, goodness me," she replied snidely.

Chapter Text

Natalie had never been so nervous to approach someone in her entire life. She gripped her poem so tightly that she was sure it would tear and walked hesitantly towards Yuri. She glanced down at her feet. Was she even walking normally? Was this how people walked?

Monika tapped her shoulder. "Um, Natalie?" she whispered. "You seem a little off-balance. I know you're nervous but just try to walk normally."

Apparently, Natalie was oblivious to the fact that her weight seemed to teeter from left to right. "This isn't normal?" she hissed. "I thought this was normal."

The moment she was facing Yuri, she thrusted the poem to her and edged backwards so that she was leaning against a desk behind her. Across the clubroom, Monika and Natsuki were already eagerly exchanging poems—well, Monika anyway.

Yuri made it clear when she was done reading by holding the paper to her nose and taking a deep breath in. "I love it. I love everything about it."

"You do?" Natalie asked sceptically. "Even the abstract concept of it all?"

"I do," she confirmed. "Natalie, I want to take this home. Will you let me keep it?"

Natalie sadly knew exactly where this conversation would lead. "If you must," she replied reluctantly. "Although I'm not sure if-"

"Oh, thank you, Natalie! You're too nice to me. I've never met anyone as nice as you," she professed. "I could die. N-not really, but—I just don't know how to describe it! It's okay to be feeling this way, right?"

"Honestly? Absolutely not," Natalie responded. She realised how catty her voice likely sounded, but that wasn't really an issue to her at that point in time. "Yuri, it's just a poem. Feeling like you could die over something someone else wrote is . . . to be polite, weird."

Yuri sighed and then held it to her chest. Natalie remembered that her hand had been there the previous day and cringed at the questionable memory.

"I'm going to take this home with me and keep it in my room," Yuri told her. "I hope that it makes you feel good when you think about me having it. I'll take good care of it," she promised. Her voice began to gain a lilt, her eyes reverting to the state they'd been earlier that hour. She smiled broadly. If not for the situation, someone would believe she was just acting. "I'll even touch myself while reading it over and over," she murmured with a dark chuckle.

"Y-Yuri," Natalie stammered. "Please, don't-"

"I'll give myself paper cuts so your skin oil enters my bloodstream," she continued as she reached into her pocket. It was like speaking to an entirely different person. "You can have my poem too. Besides, after you read it, I know you're really going to want to keep it. Hurry, read it!"

Yuri extended her arm with the poem in her hand. From there, Natalie could already see the stains left on the sheet. Pinching a corner with her fingernails, she held the poem up a short distance from herself to read.

Not that she could read it. She already knew there was nothing to read. After a moment of pretending to be riveted by the contents, she placed the poem down on the desk behind her and held her hands out a short distance from her body.

"Right, I can't do this anymore!" Natalie snapped. "Yuri, you need help! You're obsessive, you're being creepy, and you need to see a motherfucking therapist! I'll refer you to Sayori's new therapist, I'll cover it, but one more creepy ass stunt like this and I might just kill myself! Do you understand me?! I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, YURI?!"

Yuri's eyes suddenly shifted back to normal. She glanced at the poem beside Natalie and gasped. "Did I actually . . . I . . . I think . . . I'm going to vomit."

With that, Yuri sprinted out of the room, a hand covering her mouth, yet still somehow she kept that perfect elegance as she ran. Natalie was physically trembling. She walked away from that corner of the room towards the door, leaving the poem behind. Just as she reached the door, she noticed Monika and Natsuki gaping at her.

"Problem?!" she snarled. "Didn't think so."

The door slammed shut behind her. Her hands still held out in front of her, she took the stairs down towards the bathroom furthest away from the clubroom, glad to find it empty, and began running the cold water tap.

She leaned forward against the sink for a moment, and then glanced up at herself in the mirror. Her breathing was still uneven, her eyebrows drawn together in anger.

Just as she heard the bathroom door swing open, she placed her hands under the running water and scrubbed at them furiously. Any harder and she was sure she'd leave her skin red and sore, not that she was bothered.

A pair of arms wrapped themselves around her waist, a chin coming to rest against her shoulder. Natalie rolled her eyes and slammed her hands down against the side of the sink.

"Do you mind?" she snapped. "I'm trying to wash my hands here."

Monika's hold didn't loosen. "I just wanted to check on you," she replied calmly. ". . . I've never seen you that angry before." Natalie felt as she pressed her cheek against her shoulder blade. "What did Yuri do?"

"Yuri's been creepy as fuck," Natalie muttered bitterly, "and I'm absolutely sick of that shit."

Monika sighed. "Do you think there might just be a little chance that this outburst of yours isn't to do with Yuri, but rather with yourself?" she asked, her tone slightly accusatory.

"I didn't ask for some psychoanalysis," she retorted.

Monika stiffened. "I'm not going to be annoyed because I know you're just lashing out," she said evenly, "but I'm serious, Natalie. What is it?"

"I'm fine," Natalie answered coldly. "I'm just fine."

"Go and see Sayori, Natalie," Monika said as she pulled away. She leaned forward against the sink beside her. "I'll finish up here. There's only 10 minutes left anyway. You need some time to clear your head."

"As I said, I'm fine," Natalie repeated.

"You know I'm just worried for you," Monika explained. "Really, I'll go talk to Yuri. Just check on Sayori now. It'll be good for you."

Natalie shook the excess water off her hands over the sink without bothering to use the hand dryer. "Fine. Only because you asked me to. And you might want to get rid of that "poem"—that stuff's a biohazard."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Natalie arrived at the hospital and was very soon led to Sayori's room. With a pack of strawberry gummies in one hand, she opened the glass door gently and closed it behind her. "Sayori?"

"Hm?" Sayori turned her head. She was still laying in bed with her hands bandaged, but her neck brace had since been removed. The TV played some kind of sitcom in the background. "Natalie! You actually came to visit! . . . You look sad. What happened?"

As she walked towards the bed, she tossed the candy into Sayori's lap. "I'm fine," she replied, distracting herself with the TV.

In the corner of her eye, she saw Sayori lean forward to peer past her hair. "Come on, I know you're not," Sayori giggled. "Did Monika do something? Is that it?"

"What?! N-no, it's, er, it's not Monika," Natalie replied stiffly.

"Natsuki? No?" She gasped. "Is it Yuri-?"

Natalie rolled her eyes. "Stop guessing, Sayori."

"It is, isn't it?" Sayori guessed. "Wow, I'm good at this. But what did Yuri do? She's usually a ray of sunshine."

After a moment, Natalie shrugged. "Sayori, can I ask you something about Yuri?"

"Sure."

"How do I put this?" Natalie tapped her fingers against her thigh. "You've known Yuri for a while, right?"

"I mean . . . yeah, kind of," Sayori answered. "We used to go to the same middle school. Why do you ask?"

"So . . . you know about her, well, her . . ." Natalie trailed off. "She's not completely mentally stable, is she?"

Sayori looked up at the ceiling in thought and fiddled absently with the bandages covering her fingers. "Er . . . I'm not sure if I should really be talking about this without her permission, but I know she used to suffer a lot from some kind of behaviour illness. I don't remember the name, but she takes medication for it. Why are you asking me about that? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing specific," Natalie lied. "She's just been acting off, so I thought it would be best to check. It was Natsuki's idea to ask you, actually."

"Oh. Well, I wish I could be more help," Sayori responded. "I know Yuri well, but not that well. I can try talking to her tomorrow if you want, but she doesn't really like talking about herself like that."

"Tomorrow?" Natalie asked. Her eyes widened in realisation. "Oh right, you get to leave this place tomorrow, right?"

"Well, tonight, actually," she corrected her. "I still need to finish packing a few of my things. My parents have already moved most of my stuff back to my room." She smiled at her, and for the first time in a while, there was a flicker of warmth behind her eyes. "I'm so glad you came to visit, Natalie. If anything, though, I thought you'd come with Monika yesterday."

Natalie sighed. "Yeah, but . . . something came up, unfortunately. How long did Monika stay for yesterday then?"

"Oh, an hour or so," Sayori explained. "She brought a movie for us to watch too, and she gave me ice-cream, because honestly the food here is awful, and that's coming from me, the person who could eat anything!"

Natalie laughed under her breath. "You seem a lot better, Sayori."

"Yes, well, I decided to take a bit of your advice," she told her. "I've started seeing one of the therapists on that list you gave me, and he said if I improve significantly enough over the next two weeks with behavioural therapy, he won't put me on anti-pressants-"

"You mean antidepressants," Natalie interrupted, amused.

Sayori nodded and pointed at her. "Yeah, that. So I really want to get better this time. Properly. I . . . I don't want to make you or Monika do that again."

Natalie smiled. "I'm glad, Sayori. Will you be at the club tomorrow then? Because I don't want to blow the surprise, but-"

Sayori gasped so quickly that she sent herself into a coughing fit. Once she'd quite finished, she grimaced and grabbed the side of her neck where prominent bruising still remained. "That hurt a bit. But I get a surprise?! Is it food? Is it a puppy? Is it-"

"You'll see tomorrow," she replied. "For the meantime, maybe you should finish packing." She looked down at her open suitcase, clothing lazily tossed inside. "That is, unless you want to stay here-"

Sayori sighed at the thought and began to grudgingly climb out of bed towards her suitcase. Her bare feet tapped against the linoleum floor quite noisily with each step. "Jeez, you sound like my mom," she whined.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"I'm back," Natalie announced as she entered the clubroom. Both in her bag and in several carrier bags were the 75 cupcakes Natsuki had helped her bake, all in the same perfect quality as before. "And I brought the cupcakes—whoa, you guys really outdid yourselves!"

The entire room was decorated as fully as possible in such a short space of time. There were streamers, several helium balloons because Sayori loved balloons, and already confetti was sprinkled on the floor.

Natsuki was standing on a desk at the back of the room, pining another balloon to the wall. "I've been sorting out these balloons for the last hour since I had a free period earlier," she told her as she climbed back down. "And how do we know Sayori will even appreciate this?"

"I'm sure she will." Monika entered the room with a jug of fruit juice and a few paper cups. "You brought the cupcakes, right Natalie?"

With a tired groan, Natalie shoved the cupcakes down onto an empty desk and began emptying them out of their bags. "All 75 of them," she replied. "Where's Yuri?"

"She'll be running a little late today," Monika responded, "and Sayori isn't-"

"OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS!"

The three gasped in unison. Somehow, Sayori had arrived much earlier than expected. She jumped a few times in the doorway and then ran into the room, unsurprisingly directly to the cupcakes.

Natsuki facepalmed. "Sayori, we weren't finished! You can't just ruin your own surprise party!"

"It's fine," she replied, her mouth still full of cake. Seeing the crumbs falling out of her mouth, Natalie handed her a napkin. "Nat kinda made it obvious what it would be, anyway."

"Seriously, Natalie?!" Natsuki angrily placed her hands on her hips. "All this effort, and for what? Look at her!" She motioned wildly to Sayori. "She's eating her third cupcake already!"

"Now, now, Natsuki," Monika laughed. "It is her party, after all, and I'm sure there'll be enough cake to go around. But Sayori," Sayori glanced up from the food in acknowledgement, "I thought you had another appointment today."

Sayori nodded affirmatively. "When I told my therapist that I had a surprise party coming now, he saw how distracted I was and let me leave 15 minutes early. Ooh, strawberry!"

Natalie rolled her eyes. "Sayori, don't make yourself sick," she cautioned. "We don't need you hospitalized for a second time this week. Just put that cupcake down and give your stomach a minute or so to settle."

With a sigh, she dropped the cake onto the desk. "Okay . . . but that one's mine, so no one touch it!"

There was a soft knock on the door. Yuri walked in hesitantly, shyer than usual, and placed her bag down beside Sayori's. "I see the party has already begun," she noted. "Welcome back, Sayori."

Sayori smiled broadly. "Thanks, Yuri!"

"Sayori, how's your neck doing?" Natalie asked her. "I noticed it was hurting you a little yesterday."

Now that she was paying attention to it, she noticed that the marks were still present. The reason for the lack of obvious bruising, however, appeared to be that she'd covered them with foundation, and a lot of it by the looks of things. On the positive, at least it looked very natural.

"It's alright I suppose," she replied, "as long as I don't move my head too much. The aching really bugs. But at least I can still eat cupcakes!"

"Well, okay everyone! I suggest getting to the cupcakes while you can," Monika humoured, "but I also brought juice too. Natalie, while I remember, would you mind . . ." She reached into her bag and removed another plastic jug, "filling this up with water?"

"Um, sure," she agreed as she took the jug from her.

"N-Natalie?" Yuri tapped her on the shoulder. In her hands was her own plastic water bottle. "May I come too? I need to fill up my bottle if that's okay."

Natalie nervously looked to Monika, who nodded in encouragement. At that, Natalie forced a smile, though she wasn't entirely sure how convincing it was coming off. "Sure. Let's go."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Neither of them said anything as they walked down the hall. Natalie remembered that there was a water fountain somewhere on that floor, but she wasn't entirely certain where. Regardless, she simply continued to silently follow Yuri's lead. That was until Yuri stopped.

Her eyes were closed, and her grip on her water bottle tightened. Her breaths could be heard quickening, as though she was hyperventilating.

"Yuri?" Natalie asked as she stepped around so that she was standing in front of her. "Yuri? . . . Yuri, come on, this isn't funny." She reached for her shoulder. "Yur-"

Yuri's eyelids suddenly burst open. Her eyes had rolled back into her skull, only showing the whites, with her purple irises nowhere to be seen. She grinned, and then began to giggle, an unhinged and without a doubt unsettling sound.

Natalie backed up a step. "Yuri . . ." she said cautiously. "Yuri, can you hear-"

Before she could be stopped, she grabbed fistfuls of her hair in her hands and screamed at the top of her lungs. Natalie grimaced and placed her hands over her own ears. She didn't remove them until she was sure that Yuri had stopped.

Natalie finally looked back at her. Yuri was gasping for air, her eyes back in their normal position though still bloodshot and watery. In the commotion, she'd dropped her empty water bottle to the floor where it had rolled a short distance away.

"Um . . . wait . . . how did I . . ." Her eyes flickered to her water bottle. "Sorry, I just had a really weird deja vu . . . This hasn't happened before or anything . . . right?"

"It has . . ." Natalie replied cautiously. "Yuri, what's happening to you?"

"My head's been a little fuzzy lately," she explained. "I hope it hasn't really been showing or anything. I would hate for you to think I'm weird just after we started spending time together. I mean . . . everyone has a few unusual things about them."

Yuri spoke fast, leaving no chance to interject. She barely even took a moment to pause for breath every now and then.

"But expressing those things so soon after meeting someone is usually seen as inappropriate or unlikeable," she continued. "At least that's what I discovered. When I was younger, I think I would come on really strongly and get a little too intense. It made people not want to be around me. So I started hating those things about myself. My obsession with certain hobbies. And the way I can't control myself when I get too excited about something. So I eventually stopped trying to talk to people. But Natalie. Is it just me or has Monika been acting a little off lately?"

Natalie's eyebrows furrowed. "Monika?! What?! No!"

"I'm not crazy, right?" Yuri asked. She laughed and smiled, showcasing her pearly white teeth which in that moment appeared like razors from the roof of her mouth. "Please tell me I'm not! I couldn't say anything before, because she's always listening!"

"Yuri, what are you talking about?" Natalie demanded.

Yuri ignored her and began to advance on her, one bit at a time. "But we're finally alone! Can we just stay here for a while? I just want to stay here. Just the two of us. We can stay here until the club ends. And then we'll have the clubroom all to ourselves. Nobody to interfere with our reading time. Nobody to make me feel like stabbing myself in the throat!"

Natalie was lost for words. She'd never felt such genuine fear in her life, the kind of fear that bubbles up in your throat and leaves every limb in your body feeling numb and immobile. She couldn't even move anymore. She lamely held the jug in her hands.

Yuri cackled and touched the side of the face, her eyes rolling up towards the ceiling. "That was a joke! Just a joke. I do like knives though. It sounds strange, but you wouldn't understand if you've never seen how beautiful they can be."

Natalie shook her head. This was too much for her to handle. She did the only thing left she could possibly think to do.

She walked confidently up to Yuri, raised her hand, and slapped her hard across the face.

Yuri's head was thrown to the side. When she finally lifted it again, her manic grin had vanished. She frowned and looked down at herself. "Wh-what . . . did I say something? Why does my face hurt? Did you slap me, Natalie?"

Natalie sighed. "I need to go and speak to Monika. Go back into the clubroom, I'll fill your water bottle in a bit. And bring Monika out here. Tell her I need to talk to her."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Monika suddenly ran out of the clubroom and closed the door behind her. She found Natalie standing in the hall by the window that overlooked the school.

She approached her slowly. "What happened just a moment ago?" she asked. "Yuri's cheek looks red. Did you . . . did you slap her?"

"What else was I supposed to do?" Natalie countered. "I was running out of options. I didn't bring you out here to debate my methods. I wanted to ask you about something, and I want you to be completely honest and truthful with me."

"I always am," Monika told her.

Natalie shook her head. "I just—I just wanted to ask if you still have the same control over this universe that you did in the game. Yuri . . . she said something about you acting off, you always listening. I just wanted to make sure-"

"That I'm not the villain, right?" Monika stepped away and turned around. "That I'm not the one doing all of this to the others?"

Natalie looked at her over her shoulder. Her back was turned. "Monika, I don't-"

"No, I think you've made yourself perfectly clear," she interjected. "You still think it's me, don't you? You still think I'm the one doing all of this."

"I just . . ." Natalie paused. "I just needed to be certain."

"All this time, and you still believe this could be my doing. After all we've been through, you still think it could be me?"

"I needed to be sure," Natalie repeated herself. "And I don't think I can exactly be blamed here, Monika. Considering the game, and what Yuri said, it seemed like too much of a possibility-"

"Natalie, answer me this honestly and truthfully." Monika finally turned around. Her emerald green eyes had gained a tearful shine to them. "Did you ever fully, 100%, without a doubt, believe that I'm on your side?"

Natalie remained quiet. She gripped the windowsill tightly. She could have said yes to her question. But she'd been told not to lie.

Monika sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Th-that's what I thought." She turned back towards the clubroom. "I'm going home."

Natalie didn't move. She watched as Monika picked up her bag from inside the clubroom and turned down the hall to leave. Just as she began to walk past, Natalie reached for her arm, but Monika quickly dodged her hand.

"Don't touch me," she muttered.

". . . Monika-"

"I'll tell the others that the club is cancelled tomorrow," she said. Crossing her arms over her chest, she glanced at her one last time with disgust in her eyes. "Just go home, Natalie . . ."

Chapter Text

TW // SEXUAL HARASSMENT

With Monika already gone, Natalie entered the clubroom again to pick up her own belongings. She noticed that Natsuki, Yuri, and Sayori seemed to be pretty confused about what was happening, if their expressions were anything to go by, but the last thing she wanted to do was provide an explanation.

She slung her bag over her shoulder wordlessly and turned to leave.

"W-wait! Nat!" Sayori grabbed her own bag from the floor, as well as as many cupcakes as she could carry, and sprinted after her. "Natalie, where are you going?"

"I'm going home," she replied. "Stay with the others. Enjoy your party."

"But I don't want to party without you!" Sayori's voice echoed heavily through the empty hall. "You're the fun one at parties!"

Natalie pace if anything quickened. "I'm not kidding, Sayori."

"Please, Natalie, come on, I have smaller legs than you!" As a last resort, Sayori stuck a leg out in front of Natalie which forced her to stop. "Why are you and Monika leaving so early? Did you guys have a fight? You know how I feel about fighting!"

Natalie sighed defeatedly. "Sayori . . ."

"Well?" she asked again. "Did you?"

"It's a long story-"

"I knew it! Oh, sorry," she laughed sheepishly. "What did you guys fight about?"

"We just . . . disagreed on a few things," Natalie answered vaguely. "Literature Club's cancelled tomorrow. I'll see you on Monday-"

"Natalie, come on, I've never seen you like this before," Sayori continued. "I thought you and Monika were best friends! Or, if anything, I thought she was, like, obsessed with you!"

Natalie rolled her eyes and swerved around Sayori's leg. "Sayori, I can't do this now-"

"It's true!" She jogged along beside her. "When she visited me on Monday, all she talked about was you! You don't believe me, do you?"

"It's not that, Sayori," Natalie assured her, keeping her voice even. "You just have a habit of meddling, that's all."

"But it is true!" Sayori insisted. "She told me all about when you went together to get sushi, and then McDonalds, and when you stayed over at her house for a sleepover. She remembers your conversations really well. It was a bit scary, actually," she giggled. "She also said you're really fun to hug, which I agree with."

Natalie stopped and smiled weakly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Look, Sayori," she sighed, "I know you're just trying to help, and that's very sweet of you, but that's really not necessary."

Sayori narrowed her eyes. "But your fight was bad enough to cancel the club tomorrow! Like, that bad! That's really bad! I just want everyone to be friends again like before," she confessed. "It was better that way. Can you promise to at least just talk to Monika tonight?"

Natalie shook her head and sighed heavily. "Fine."

"I don't believe you yet. Let's pinky promise." Sayori stuck out her pinky finger towards her.

Fighting back another roll of her eyes, Natalie interlocked her pinky with Sayori's and shook them together. "There, now do you believe me?"

"It'll have to do, I suppose," she laughed. "If you fail, though, I might have to cut off your pinky. Just don't make me have to do that."

"God forbid I lose a pinky," she muttered.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Natalie had been sitting on her couch, staring at her blank phone screen, for the last hour. She was sipping on the third mug of tea she'd made herself all evening to distract herself. She swirled her teabag around in the water.

Her mind recalled back to what Sayori had said. Monika really cared that much about her . . . But surely Sayori was just bluffing. It was obvious that she was pretty desperate to resolve this dispute as soon as possible. That was just . . . Sayori being Sayori.

But if that were the case, that still didn't explain how she knew about the week her and Monika had been through in that much detail. They were things she only could've found out through Monika's company.

Natalie opened Monika's contact on her phone for the millionth time. Her finger hovered over the call button. She knew once she pressed it, there was no going back. What would she even say? Was a simple sorry enough? Or had the offence gone too deep?

"Nuh-huh, I can't do this." Her hand physically shaking, she fumbled around with the buttons to attempt to close the tab. The device began to buzz. Her heart stopped. She'd pressed 'call'.

It was too late now. The dial tone continued to play for a few seconds. Natalie picked up the phone off the couch pillow and held it up in front of her.

There was a click.

"Hello, you've reached Monika's voicemail. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message after the tone!"

Natalie gulped and pulled the phone to her ear. "H-hey, Monika, it's, um, it's Natalie. I just, er . . . I guess I just kinda wanted to apologise for what happened earlier. I, um, I . . . I didn't mean to accuse you like that. I was . . . yeah, I was just being a bitch. I-I get it, you know, if you don't want to call me back, I wouldn't either, but . . . yeah, that's, um . . . that's all I wanted to say. I just . . . I'm sorry, Monika."

With that, she hung up and hurled her phone across the room carelessly. It smacked into the furthest wall from her and fell to the floor, face up. The screen then glowed.

With a heavy sigh, she retrieved her phone, surprised to find it completely undamaged. A message notification displayed on the screen.

Yuri:
Meet me at the clubroom tomorrow after school.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Natalie arrived at the clubroom 5 minutes after classes ended for the day. She had some idea of what would come next, of what she'd have to handle, but the real question was how exactly she was going to do that. If Yuri would be carrying a lethal weapon, there was little she could do to stop her.

What only made matters worse was that Monika was ignoring every single one of her calls and messages. She hadn't even seen her around school, likely because she'd purposefully taken detours to avoid her.

It wasn't like she didn't deserve it. She knew why Monika was acting the way she was. It was unlike her, of course, but to say it was unjustifiable after what Natalie had said, or hadn't said, would be a complete and utter lie.

The clubroom door was already open. Holding her bag strap tightly, Natalie entered the room. The blinds were already drawn, which left the place almost completely darkened.

"Finally!" Yuri stepped out from behind the door and closed it quickly before Natalie could stop her. She grabbed her hand forcefully and yanked her further into the room. "This is really all I wanted."

"Yuri, you wanted to speak with me?" Natalie asked, trying to keep her tone as level as possible.

"Natalie, there's no need to spend all your time with Monika," Yuri said. She was already smiling, though there was no softness or kindness behind it. Her hands were clasped in front of her. "Don't listen to her. Just come to my house this weekend instead. The whole day with just the two of us. Doesn't that sound wonderful?" she laughed.

Natalie shivered. She couldn't tell if the room was too cold, or maybe just her instincts to get the fuck out of there were kicking in. "As lovely as that sounds, I-"

"Wow, there's really something wrong with me, isn't there?" she noted in amusement as she looked down at her own hands. One of her eyes began to twitch erratically. "But you know what? I don't care anymore!"

"Y-Yuri, you're scaring me a little," Natalie murmured.

"Oh, don't be scared of me, Natalie," she insisted with a grin. "I've never felt this good my whole life. Just being with you is far greater pleasure than anything I could imagine. I'm addicted to you. It feels like I'm going to die if I'm not breathing the same air as you."

Natalie shook her head. "You know that's not true. What about Natsuki-?"

"Screw that tiny bitch!" she screamed. After a few seconds, she laughed again. "It's you my world revolves around. But if it feels so good, then why does it feel more and more like something bad is going to happen? Maybe that's why I tried stopping myself at first, but the feeling is too strong now. I don't care anymore, Natalie!"

"Yuri, this isn't you," Natalie insisted. "What's happening to you? W-Why are you acting like this?"

"Because I-I'm madly in love with you!" Yuri exclaimed. "It feels like every inch of my body, every drop of blood in me, is screaming your name. I don't care what the consequences are anymore!"

Natalie closed her eyes for a moment to level her breaths. She couldn't get overwhelmed now, not now of all times. "Yuri." Yuri's eyes darted to her, a maddened glint to them. "Tell me exactly why you brought me here. Now."

"Don't you see? I just want to pull your skin open and crawl inside of you! I just want you all to myself, and I will be only yours. Doesn't that sound perfect? Tell me, Natalie. Tell me you want to be my lover. Do you accept my confession?"

Natalie placed her bag down on the floor beside her. She was glad her sleeves were already rolled up, because she knew for a fact that this was going to get messy.

"No, Yuri."

Yuri laughed. It was a short, humoured laugh. It steadily increased, forming itself into a full-bodied cackle. She leaned over to catch her breath between chuckles, and Natalie watched as her hand slid into her pocket and removed what was clearly a knife. Yuri raised it in front of her, aimed square at her chest.

"STOP!"

Natalie leapt forward and swiped the blade from Yuri. Now that she noticed, it was a gorgeous knife, beautifully crafted and clearly well maintained, but she knew it wasn't the time for notes like that. She backed up quickly, eventually finding herself pressed up against the desk at the front of the class with the knife held above her head, hopefully out of reach. She could only be glad that they were the same height.

Yuri recovered from the sudden interjection quite quickly. She smiled at Natalie. "Come on, now," She stretched her hand out, her fingers uncurled, "give it back! You know that's not very nice!" Natalie shook her head and moved it behind her back.

She was cornered. Yuri was advancing on her much faster than she could have anticipated. She felt her slender arms curl around her, desperately searching the space behind her. "Return what is mine!"

Natalie struggled and attempted to raise her legs to shove Yuri aside, to no avail. With her now leaned backwards over the desk, Yuri took the opportunity to slide a hand down from her shoulder to her breast.

"Get off me, Yuri, get off me!" Natalie pleaded desperately as she squirmed beneath her. She found herself sandwiched between the surface of the desk and Yuri, with the knife still pinned down beneath her.

With the hand that wasn't being used to grope her chest, Yuri slid the blade out from beneath Natalie. "Finally-"

"ENOUGH!"

Natalie felt some of the weight on her body lighten. Her eyes that had been squeezed shut slowly opened to see a figure standing in the doorway. Yuri stepped back, giving her a moment to get up herself.

Monika's grip on the handle of the knife she'd retrieved tightened. "I said enough, Yuri."

Yuri laughed to herself. "I should've expected you to interfere, Monika," she spat out venomously. Natalie heard a click and glanced at Yuri's hand. She was now holding a concealed blade. Monika gasped and staggered back. "But not anymore-!"

"NO!"

See, Natalie had no fighting experience, none except from two or three baby karate classes when she'd been 5 or 6. But it was in that moment that she realised that maybe the experience wasn't so necessary after all.

She didn't know how she'd done it, but somehow Yuri was pinned underneath her knee, the knife she'd been holding hurled across the room. She lifted the hand that wasn't being used to pin Yuri's wrists down.

SLAP!

Yuri finally stopped writhing and screaming. She froze completely, her breathing slowly returning to a steady pace. Her violet eyes, clouded with tears, looked up at her. Natalie removed her knee and gave her space.

She sat up, glanced around her at the mess that had been left behind, and then covered her mouth with her hand as she gagged. "O-oh—oh my God—oh my God I'm gonna be sick!"

Yuri scrambled to her feet and appeared to leave the room faster than humanly possible. The door swung closed behind her but bounced open again.

And then there were two.

Monika closed the door again and tucked the knife away in her pocket in case of any further incidents. Seeing Natalie still sat on the floor, she bent her legs to sit herself beside her.

Natalie could feel her breathing quicken in little hiccup-like gasps. Tears pricked uncomfortably at her eyes as she pulled her jacket tighter around herself.

She felt Monika silently wrap her arms around her and pull her closer. A hand softly rubbed her arm up and down, as if in reassurance that it was over, that it was finally over.

Natalie's nose sniffled as she held onto Monika with her arms around her waist. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Monika moved slightly, almost pulling away. "Natalie-"

"N-no, I am," she sobbed. Her face was pressed against her neck. "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it at all! Y-you're my only friend here, Monika, you—" She paused to gulp. "I-I'm the worst friend, I'm sorry!"

"Natalie, ssh." A hand made its way into her caramel brown hair, her fingers soothingly running through the soft strands. "It's okay," she murmured. "Come on, if anything I was being overly sensitive."

"But-"

"I was," Monika interrupted before she could disagree. "You were absolutely right to be suspicious of me. My feelings aside, I've been written as the villain in this story, the primary antagonist. You had every right to question me," she admitted. "But what was hurtful was your continuous doubt towards my intentions, Natalie. In case I never made this clear enough, no harm will come to you or any of the others through my doing."

Natalie nodded. "I'm so sorry . . ."

"You've already said that," she reminded her.

Her hold increased in strength. "I meant it."

Monika smiled and leant back against a leg of one of the desks. She noticed that Natalie moved with her to the point where she was supporting most of her weight. "I know . . . I saw what Yuri did to you. How badly did she hurt you?"

Natalie looked down at herself. "I'm fine."

"I'm not just talking about physical injuries," Monika corrected her. "I think you understand."

She inhaled deeply. She knew exactly what Monika was referring to. A part of her was embarrassed that she'd walked in on that happening to her in the first place, but she knew that, without her interjection, things could have gotten a whole lot worse.

"I-I think I'm okay," she answered. "How did you know to come? You wouldn't reply to my texts or calls."

Monika hummed in thought. "While the thought of speaking to you after yesterday seemed anything but appealing," Natalie felt a pang in her stomach at that, "the thought of you getting hurt was much worse. Sayori told me this morning that you would be meeting with Yuri. She seems to be trying very hard to get us to make up."

"Well, that's Sayori for you," Natalie humoured. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For quite literally saving my life," she replied. "You didn't have to come, and if I were you I probably wouldn't have done, but you still did anyway, regardless of how much of a petty bitch I was being."

"You were being a bit of a bitch, weren't you?" Monika agreed teasingly, ignoring Natalie's indignant, "Hey!". "But I was being the petty one. And besides, as I said before, we're in this together. No matter how much you anger or upset me, I'm not sending you into this shambles alone. Not at all."

"Are you still upset with me?" Natalie asked her.

Monika shrugged. "It depends. Did you really mean-"

"No, I didn't!" Natalie cut in quickly. "You're—you're the only person I have around here. I've . . . I've been here for weeks now, with no sign of a way home, and I'm just—I'm just . . . it sounds lame, but I'm scared. I might never see my old friends again, or my dad, or my crappy apartment. And I-I know, that's—that's kind of a shitty excuse, but I . . ." She trailed off her sentence.

"I get it." Monika caressed her shoulder softly. "I don't know what I'd do if I found myself this distanced from my own home. At first, I wanted to leave, but now . . . It's since you joined that something happened, something changed. It's not a moment I can specifically recall, but nothing's been the same with you here. I know it's selfish, but in some ways I don't want you to go anywhere. And I don't think the others would, either."

Natalie sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "It's not my choice where I end up, apparently. For all we know, I could remain here until I grow old and die."

"I have a question that's been bugging me for a while now," Monika said. Natalie perked up slightly and raised her head just enough to look at her. "Those cupcakes you made with Natsuki for the festival . . . they weren't lactose free, were they?"

Natalie shook her head. "The universe really did make sure I paid for that decision last night."

Chapter Text

"So," Sayori wandered along dazedly beside Natalie, "are you and Monika friends again?"

Natalie sighed. "Sayori, do you really need to get involved? You're acting like some kind of PTA mom," she joked.

Sayori frowned at her. "Hey, don't be mean! I just wanted to help! So, are you?" She held her arms out by her sides as she balanced along the side of the curb like a child. "Is everything better now?"

"Yes, Sayori," Natalie answered reluctantly. "Everything's fine between me and Monika."

"Phew!" She melodramatically swiped the back of her hand against her forehead. "Also, I was wondering what Yuri wanted to talk to you about. After you asked me about her before, and when you went to meet her all secret-like, you made me a little curious."

Natalie went quiet as she attempted to string together an acceptable answer to that question. "I just . . . had a few things to discuss. Anyway, that's not important. The point is: Sayori, no meddling." Sayori pouted and attempted to pull an innocent puppy-like expression with her eyes. "I'm not kidding."

She huffed. "Fine. I just wanted to—why is your phone interrupting me?!" she whined.

Natalie shook her head in amusement and quickly tugged her phone out of her pocket to answer. She'd been too quick to check the caller ID. "Hello?"

"This is Natalie, right? I-it's Yuri," Yuri mumbled through the phone.

Sayori shook Natalie's arm. "Who is it?" she whispered insistently.

"Ssh!" Natalie covered one ear to hear better. "Yuri, hey, um-"

"It's Yuri?" Sayori leaned into the phone speaker. "Tell her I said hi."

Natalie went quiet for a moment. "She says she can hear you. Yuri, hi, er," Natalie sped up her walk a little, "why are you calling . . .?"

"Oh, is this a bad time?" Yuri asked. "How ignorant of me. My apologies, I'll-"

"No, now's fine," Natalie assured her. She eyed a bench positioned near a kids' play park beside them and sat down carefully. Sayori was quick to plonk herself down beside her. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

". . . Sorry, I was just trying to put my thoughts into words. After everything I've put you through over the last week, I just thought you deserve to know that I've started seeing my therapist regularly again, and I've been given a new prescription of the medication I used to take which prevented things like . . . this from happening."

"That's . . . really good news," Natalie replied. She had to admit, for only an hour since the incident, that was a lot more progress than she could've expected. "I'm glad you're getting the help you need."

"That's sweet of you to say, Natalie." Yuri's smile could be heard through the phone. "But I should—no, I must—apologise. Many apologies, really."

"Oh, Yuri, that's really not necessary," Natalie countered.

"It is," Yuri responded calmly. "I carelessly let myself get out of control, and by doing so I hurt you terribly. I should've seen the warning signs much before my condition escalated this far."

"May I ask what condition it is?" Natalie asked politely, if cautiously.

"Um," Yuri hesitated, "if it's okay with you, I'd rather that information be withheld. But nevertheless, I'm so incredibly sorry, Natalie. The things I did, the things I said . . . I should also thank you. You stopped me before I could hurt the others, each and every time. You sacrificed your own sanity and wellbeing due to my own carelessness. If it weren't for you . . . just, thank you, from the bottom of my heart."

Natalie sighed softly. "I'm no saint. I'm just so relieved that you're getting yourself back to normal, Yuri-"

"Normal? Huh?" Sayori leaned over Natalie towards the phone. "Guys, don't leave me out of the conversation!"

Yuri laughed. "Well I suppose that's my cue to leave you now. Again, thank you. Truthfully."

"Take care, Yuri. I'll see you on Monday-"

Finally having had enough, Sayori swiped the phone from Natalie's hand. "BYE YURI!"

Natalie pinched the bridge of her nose.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"I'm so glad you could come to help me."

Natalie hadn't been entirely sure how she'd end up spending her Sunday evening, but she truly hadn't predicted sitting in Monika's kitchen operating a stapler. As she compiled each little pamphlet together, Monika stood at the printer, which continuously pumped out page after page.

"How many of these are we doing again?" Natalie asked. She moved another completed one to a stack in front of her.

"Well, since we plan to hand as many of these out as possible, I thought 80 would be a sensible amount," Monika explained. "How many is that?" She nodded towards those completed.

"Um . . ." Natalie narrowed her eyes at the pile and counted with her fingers. ". . . 62."

Removing a few more printed sheets from the printer tray, Monika walked over to the round kitchen table and placed them down in front of her. She watched her struggle to staple a sheet that refused to fold correctly. "Need some help?" she offered.

Natalie shook her head distractedly. "No, it's okay, I've got—AH!"

Both items swiftly fell to the table. Somehow, she'd managed to catch the edge of the stapler on her fingertip. Fortunately for her, it had been jammed so there was no staple to remove, but a small bead of blood soon appeared there.

"Oh jeez." Monika abruptly caught her by her wrist and pulled her towards the sink a few feet away. Her finger was forcefully held under the cold running water. "You have to be more careful, Natalie."

"It's fine, it's just a little cut," she dismissed. "It's not like this is the worst I've been hurt here, anyway."

Monika tensed. "Unfortunately, I can't exactly disagree with that statement. But that doesn't mean you were hurt in vain. As I've said before, you-"

"Saved the others," Natalie cut her off, "I know. But it just makes me wonder . . ."

"What?" Monika asked. "Natalie, wonder what?"

Natalie shook her head. "It's nothing, just part of my initial theory as to why the heck I'm here. I don't think it's a coincidence that I happened to appear just as things got worse around here. I-I . . . in the least corny way possible, of course, I think I was sent here to rescue everyone."

Monika smirked. That twitch of her mouth soon became a soft giggle, which in itself morphed into a complete laugh that had her leaning against the counter for support. Natalie raised an eyebrow and stepped away from her. She'd dealt with too much uncontrollable laughter in her lifetime for one person.

With a humoured sigh, Monika wiped her watery eyes. "It-It took you that long to realise? I thought you were supposed to be the sensible one!" she teased.

Natalie frowned at her and folded her arms over her chest. "Well, if you're gonna be like that-"

"No, I'm just kidding, honest," she assured her. "But I thought that much was made obvious enough from day one."

"Yeah, yeah." Natalie rolled her eyes. "Laugh it up, why don't you? You didn't even let me finish my theory."

Monika briefly disappeared behind a cupboard door only to reappear holding a pink Bandaid which she took the liberty of applying for her. "There's more?" she asked.

"Yeah, well . . ." Natalie went quiet. "I think once all of you are safe and sound, I'll . . . you know . . . leave . . ."

She felt the grip around her finger briefly tighten. "O-oh. Right." Monika busied herself by throwing the wrapping in the bin to conceal her face from view. "I . . . I guess I hadn't even thought of that."

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't much either," Natalie added. "As juvenile as my excuse may be, I just . . . didn't want to."

"U-um-" Monika gulped and turned around. She held her hands in front of her timidly. It was a look Natalie wasn't at all used to seeing from her. Typically, she carried herself so boldly, so confidently, so proudly. "Natalie. There's kinda, um . . . there's something I've been meaning to tell you, for a while now, and I, er—well, I guess there's a good chance that it's now or never." She attempted to alter her tone to seem amused yet nonchalant. "So, um, here goes . . . you see, I-"

Both Natalie's and Monika's heads whipped around to the front door. Someone was on the other side, banging desperately against the glass and ringing the electric doorbell consistently. Whoever it was sounded as though they were pleading for their life on that porch.

Monika gave Natalie a hasty look before running to the door. Natalie watched as she opened the door carefully, a hand in her pocket, but then removing her hand from her pocket again once she'd identified who it was.

". . . Natsuki?"

Natalie made to approach the door, but even when closer it was difficult to see the small girl past Monika. She heard Natsuki cough. "J-just let me in, for fucks sake, Monika, just let me in."

Monika nodded, placing a hand gently on her shoulder and ushering her inside. The door closed behind them, Natalie ensuring it was locked and checking on the view of the street through the peephole. Whatever had just happened, it had been enough to have even the likes of Natsuki shaken up.

With their safety ensured, Natalie entered the front room, following after the other two. Under the yellow pool of light the small table lamp provided, Monika knelt in front of Natsuki, who held her arm out in front of her.

Now that she was able to see her fully, she was made completely aware of the state she was in. She was still in a t-shirt, torn at the sleeve, which meant that both arms were entirely exposed. Her right arm was in the worst condition, with so many bruises and cuts that it was difficult to distinguish between them. Her left arm she held close to herself. It was the only uninjured limb as far as she could tell.

Aside from that, her hair was undone, one of the red ribbons that held her small bunches clutched in her left hand, and there were heavy, dark bags under her eyes, under her left eye especially so. In fact, the left side of her face had one clean cut sliced through, almost following the line of her sharp, hollow cheekbone. A thin trickle of blood fell from a cut on her lip.

"O-oh my God, Natsuki," Natalie stammered. "What—how—"

"Stop staring at me!" Natsuki snapped. "I know."

"She wasn't staring," Monika reasoned. She held a wet cloth to her inner arm, wiping only gently. "She was just shocked, that's all, as shocked as I am. Natalie, could you bring the first aid kit? It's on the top shelf of my DVD cabinet."

Natsuki's eyebrows furrowed, but neither girl knew whether that was due to discomfort or bewilderment. "You keep your first aid kit in your DVD cabinet? You're supposed to be the organised one!"

Natalie wasn't sure what to think anymore. "I'll, er . . ." She awkwardly pointed down the hall with her thumb. "I'll just go get it."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

By the time she arrived back with the first aid kit after having to use a foot stool to reach it, Natsuki was already sitting under a blanket, almost falling asleep, as Monika finished cleaning her up carefully.

"I have the first aid kit," Natalie whispered as she placed the box down on the floor beside Monika. "Natsuki, why did you come here? I thought you were busy today."

"Well, I was going to come to yours, but you wouldn't answer the door. I guess now it makes sense though," she added snidely. "Next time, warn me before you go cozying up to your girlfriend."

Monika gasped. "Natsuki, that's not—we're not—we didn't-"

"I just came here to help Monika with pamphlets," Natalie interjected with a hand on her shoulder. It was odd though—she'd never seen her that flustered before. "But Natsuki, what happened to you?"

"What does it look like happened to me?" Natsuki retorted. "Take a good look at me and guess. I can't go back to that place. My grab bag I packed a month ago is here." She glanced pointedly at a carrier bag which appeared to be filled with both clothes and other smaller necessities.

"You were already prepared . . ." Monika whispered.

After a moment, Natsuki hesitantly nodded. "I packed it when I got my first big bruise in years, a few months ago. Since then, I've been keeping it stocked so that I could leave with it whenever I needed to."

"Does he know you're here?" Natalie questioned.

"You were right to lock the door," was all that she replied with. "This wasn't supposed to go this way. I thought it would be okay to stay with my dad until college. But this time, I . . . don't think I can go back again."

"This has happened before?"

"Usually I stay with either Sayori or Yuri for a few days, but Sayori's staying with family this weekend and Yuri's lost the plot entirely," Natsuki told them. "Once my dad stops drinking again, it's normally safe to go back. But I've never seen him that mad before. He . . . he—he looked like he wanted to kill me. Properly." She blinked rapidly and gulped. "And I'm not going to cry. That would be exactly what he wants right now. I don't want to give him that satisfaction."

"Natsuki . . ." Monika removed an instant cold pack from the first aid kit and placed it against her darkening eye. Natsuki grimaced for a moment but then took over holding it herself. "How long has this been going on for?"

"10 years." Natsuki pulled her knees to her chest. "It's not all that interesting, so I don't know why you two keep treating me like a charity case. My mom died almost exactly 10 years ago. She had some heart condition that ran in her family. Since then, my dad's always blamed me for what happened. He only brings it up when he's really out of it, but he's convinced himself that I did something to kill her. So he takes his anger out on me sometimes. It's usually just one or two cuts or bruises . . . I tried to get help once, but he found out and, um, you can imagine . . ."

Natalie nodded sadly and sat beside Natsuki on the couch. "What did you pack with you?" she asked. "If you don't mind me asking, that is."

Natsuki shrugged. "Just regular stuff. Clothes, school uniform, shoes, food, any money I could find, toiletries . . . Enough to keep me alive for long enough."

"Where do you plan to stay tonight?" Monika asked her.

"I . . . I didn't think that far ahead, okay?" Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Jeez, there's no pleasing some people."

"No need to get defensive, we just want to help," Natalie reasoned. "Why don't you stay with one of us tonight?"

Monika nodded in agreement. "As I've said, I have a spare bed upstairs in my room."

For a moment, it seemed as though Natsuki snickered. "If not for your girlfriend, I'd have said no because of how weird that would be."

"Huh? I don't have a . . ." Monika looked at Natalie, and the confusion swiftly left her face. ". . . Oh."

"You don't have to keep lying about it, you know," Natsuki assured them. "You're practically all over each other constantly, and you always leave the clubroom for those "secret conversations"."

Monika made a little indignant squeak and held her hands in fists by her sides. More noticeably than that, she started to blush. "D-don't take that out of context like that, Natsuki! It's wildly inappropriate!"

Natsuki held her hands up in mock surrender. She was evidently having way too much fun with this. "Hey, I'm not the one who can't keep it in her pants, Monika!"

"Okay, that's enough!" Natalie interjected with a sigh. Monika, incredibly flustered suddenly, turned and left. "Natsuki, I'll go talk to Monika now, just . . . just don't."

"Oh, but it's fun!" Natsuki laughed.

Natalie rolled her eyes. "I mean it."

She paused for a moment. "I'm sensing you're a little protective over your crush."

"Wha—but—I thought you just tormented her about us being a couple!" Natalie argued.

"I was just winding her up," Natsuki admitted. "Monika gets uptight so easily sometimes. It's tiring."

"Well, she is the president of the club. That in essence comes with a fair bit of responsibility," Natalie countered.

Natsuki smirked. "See? Protective."

Natalie groaned in defeat and stood up too. "God, you're annoying. Go watch TV or something."

Behind her, Natsuki reached for the remote. "No need to ask me twice. My favourite anime's on in 7 minutes."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Hey, Monika . . ." After a short search, Natalie found Monika back in the kitchen, tidying away the pamphlets to bring to the festival. "Um . . . don't take Natsuki so seriously, yeah? She's just trying to get under your skin, that's what she does-"

"Natalie, may I ask you something?" Monika finally looked up from the table.

Natalie leaned forward over the back of one of the chairs and nodded. "Shoot."

"I get that you didn't always trust me-"

Natalie sighed. "Monika-"

"Let me finish," Monika continued. Her expression changed into something unreadable . . . almost exactly the same look she'd been given during their first encounter. "You didn't always trust me. But answer me this: . . . did you ever really care about what happened to me? What this world would do to me? Did you . . . did you ever even feel anything towards me?"

Natalie shook her head and smiled. "Are you really asking me that?" Monika looked away again and busied herself by moving things about on the table. "Monika, if it isn't obvious to you, then I'm doing a surprisingly un-shitty job at hiding it."

Monika raised an eyebrow at her, keeping her tone even. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the times I'd get flustered and awkward every time you made contact with me, or the fact that my heart would do a weird thing whenever you so much as gave me a look or winked at me." Natalie closed her eyes. "And I'm the unobservant one? You're . . . you're pretty much the only real reason I'd want to stay here permanently."

Monika looked back up at Natalie. The latter kept her gaze averted away. "Natalie, I . . . I didn't . . ."

Natalie sighed. "I get that I've now put you in a weird position, and that's my fault. I don't expect anything in return." She turned around. "Take care of Natsuki. I-I'll just go and see myself out . . ."

"Please, Natalie, wait."

Natalie felt a hand wrap around her wrist. That same telltale blush crept its way onto her cheeks. She went to pull away when she was tugged around.

"Monika," Natalie finally made eye contact with her, "what are you-"

"There was something I wanted to say earlier," Monika began. "As I've mentioned, I wanted to say it for a while, but I kept putting it off. I . . . I never told you this, but I quite possibly was more wary of you at the start than you were of me."

Natalie sighed lightly and almost moved away, her arms crossed. "Monika, you don't have to-"

"No, I want to."

Monika pulled her back by her elbow. She raised her head to look back up at her slowly, and once she did, there was an undeniably confusing look in her emerald eyes. Natalie could've sworn her face was moving closer, but her head was feeling too dizzy to process it.

Natalie continued to stare into her eyes. She gulped. Her heart was beating up into her throat. She wasn't sure how much longer she could deal with this before she did something she would regret. All the while, she refused to lower her gaze to her lips.

"Monika-"

"May I kiss you?"

Natalie was taken aback. She blinked slowly. "Huh . . .?"

"I-I mean, I just wanted to be sure, things like this always have to be consensual," she stammered, "and maybe I was just misreading the conversation, o-or maybe kissing makes you feel uncomfortable, or-"

Did Natalie only kiss her to shut up her self-destructive rant? She couldn't be entirely sure in that moment. But regardless of motive, Natalie's lips descended onto Monika's, a hand sliding up to hold her face while the other rested on her shoulder. She only let herself continue when she felt Monika suddenly relax, with both of her arms around her waist, holding her closer.

She didn't doubt that this could've continued for hours. It was a moment she's thought of many times before, but never one she could have possibly imagined coming to life.

Natalie fought with herself not to moan when she was backed up into the wall behind her. Monika, however, seemed to be restricting herself a little less, small moans leaving her as she deepened the kiss.

"Knew it!"

Natsuki was standing in the doorway, an ice pack held to her eye. She flicked the kitchen lights on.

Monika quickly pulled away, but Natalie's hold didn't loosen enough for her to go far. "Natsuki, really . . ."

"Oh yes, I saw everything just now, but relax, I won't tell," she reassured them tauntingly. "I actually just came to tell you both that I just got off the phone with Yuri. She's letting me stay around hers from tomorrow night onwards, so I'll be out of your hair soon. That'll give you enough space to your wildly romantic selves."

"That's, um, that's nice to hear," Natalie replied breathlessly.

Natsuki scoffed and turned the lights back out. "Get back to your makeout session, I won't stop you," she called over her shoulder.

With Natsuki gone, Monika sighed in relief and rested her forehead against Natalie's. "I hope this doesn't affect my reputation as club president."

"I don't see why it should," Natalie replied. She held up their joined hands. "Hot, smart, and gay? You're the full package. Both girls and guys alike want to be with you."

Monika laughed quietly and kissed her again, this time on the nose. "You're the best."

Chapter Text

The morning of the festival had a considerably different feel to it than that of the game. While the sun wasn't exactly shining, hidden away behind a thick layer of clouds, the atmosphere around the school campus was still positively buzzing.

She entered the clubroom directly to find Yuri covering the windows with black paper with the help of Natsuki, Sayori stuffing down an entire cupcake in almost one bite, and Monika placing pamphlets on the desks at the back of the room.

"Oh, hey Nat!" Sayori's mouth was still full of cake. Just as a piece of frosting fell onto her chin, Natalie quickly wiped it away with a napkin and handed it to her. "Thanks!"

Natalie sighed light-heartedly. "You're such an infant, Sayori. Where did these cupcakes come from?"

"I made them at Yuri's on Saturday," Natsuki shouted across the room. She was still standing on a desk to reach the top of the window. From a distance, due to the makeup she was wearing, it appeared as though there were no marks on her face at all. "Do you listen to anything I say? Or does it always go through one ear and out of the other?"

"Natsuki . . ." Yuri shook her head in disapproval.

"And you made fun of me yesterday," Natalie retorted. "Maybe this whole time, you were only winding up Monika and I to distract us from the fact that you've been cozying up with Yuri."

Natsuki's jaw dropped as she looked between Yuri and Natalie. She crossed her arms with a stubborn frown. "Not true!"

"Why was Natsuki making fun of you?" Sayori asked.

Natsuki sniggered behind her hand. "You didn't tell her, Natalie?"

"Tell me what? Natalie, what?"

"W-well, I, er . . ." Natalie could feel her face heating up as all eyes were on her. ". . . You know what? I'm not sure if Monika would feel comfortable if-"

"Oh no, go ahead, my love." Monika placed down the pamphlets with a mischievous smile. She nodded towards the others. "Go on."

"Aren't you gonna help?" Natalie hissed awkwardly.

Monika shook her head and leant back against one of the desks. "I think you have this all under control." She held her thumbs up mockingly.

Natalie immaturely sneered at her and turned back to the others, all of whom were extremely confused except for Natsuki, who seemed to be having the time of her life. "Well, okay then, uh, here goes nothing! So, as you may know, last night I was helping Monika with pamphlets, and we talked, and some things happened, and Natsuki was there too, and . . . well . . ."

Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Ugh, I can't deal with this anymore. They're dating!"

And just like that, the room went silent.

Yuri gasped. "Really? That's so sweet!" She smiled warmly.

"It's not sweet, it's gross!" Natsuki disagreed. ". . . But, yeah, it's kinda sweet . . ."

Natalie opened her mouth to reply when a sudden force almost knocked her backwards if not for the wall behind her. It was from the scent of strawberry shampoo that she could tell it was Sayori, who had launched herself at her with her arms locked around her neck and her legs wrapped around her waist.

"Whoa, Sayori . . ." Natalie attempted to stiffly support her weight somehow. She could hear the others laughing in the background. "You can get off now."

"But I'm so happy for you! I knew you two would be cute together since you first joined the club, and now you're actually together, and you're going to be happily together forever, and then you're going to graduate together, and then you can get married, and I can be the maid of honour, and-"

"Marriage?!" Natalie and Monika both screeched in unison.

Sayori pulled her head away from Natalie's neck to look her in the eyes. She was still giggling away like a child. "Yeah, obviously! You guys can live together forever, and I can come visit, and-"

"Sayori, maybe you're getting a little ahead of yourself," Yuri reasoned calmly. "Monika and Natalie only confirmed their relationship last night, after all."

"Last night?" Sayori's eyes went wide. "Oh jeez, did you guys do the thing?! Seriously?!"

"NO!" Natalie and Monika again shouted simultaneously.

Natsuki keeled over with laughter and began to clap. "This-," She paused to let out a wheezed breath, "this is going so much better than I thought it would!"

"Alright, that's enough of this," Natalie interjected before things could get any further out of hand. "Sayori, get off of me, you oversized koala bear. Natsuki, grow up, sex jokes aren't that funny, and Yuri . . . just keep doing what you're doing."

Sayori sighed. "Fine." She slid off Natalie and took a slight step back. "But still, I'm glad you didn't, because that would be both inappropriate and kinda gross. I don't even want to think about that."

"And no one asked you to," Natalie remarked. "Can everyone just get back to whatever you were doing before I came in? Except Sayori." She caught Sayori by her collar before she could get any closer to the cupcakes. "Sayori, why don't you go and buy yourself some food now?" she suggested, handing her a 1000 yen note. "Then we might have enough cupcakes for the rest of us."

Sayori nodded and skipped out of the room. "Squid, squid, here I come!"

Natsuki groaned in annoyance and threw her head back. "Look what you've done. Now she's going to eat all the squid before I can even get there!"

"Oh, Natsuki, I'm sure there will be enough squid for you too," Monika assured her. She moved across the room to take Natalie's hands. "But you did a pretty good job at breaking the news to Sayori. I . . . personally thought it would go worse."

"So did I," Natalie admitted, "but seeing her happy about it really did come as a nice surprise. Maybe I didn't permanently mess up everyone's mental health here after all."

"Of course you didn't," Monika replied, pulling her into her arms. Her voice became a murmur. "You, my love, are a hero, in your own goofy, clumsy, lactose intolerant little way, and while no one else here will ever find out about just what went down over these last few weeks," She pressed a kiss to her cheek, "I will never forget it. Is something the matter?"

"Hm?" Natalie blinked and glanced back at Monika who had pulled away a little. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just distracted, I guess . . ."

"About what?" she asked softly.

Natalie sighed. "I suppose I was just thinking about how, you know, everything's back to the way it should be now. Natsuki's left her dad's home, quite likely for good, and Yuri's finally getting help again, and Sayori's on the road to recovery . . . and I can't think of much other reason why I'd still remain here by, say, tomorrow."

Monika shook her head. "No, no, no. Don't think about that." She threw her arms around her shoulders. "Don't think about tomorrow just yet. I don't want to."

"Monika-"

"I mean it," she cut in. "Let's just have the best day we can today. No stress, no saving lives, no injuries, no arguments. Just you and me. Can we do that? Please. Just one day with you."

Natalie nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I want to do that too. You know, when you're not going all batshit crazy and deleting video game files of the others, you're pretty amazing yourself."

"Oh, aren't you a sweetheart?" Monika responded, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

"No, I mean it," she countered. "The game villainized you in so many ways, to the point where I wasn't even given a chance to properly see how brilliant and thoughtful you are."

"Here's a good question though: Who turns you on more?" she asked teasingly. "That version of me, or this one?"

"Yuri," Natalie deadpanned.

"Did someone say my name?" Yuri asked. "Oh, I'm sorry. I interrupted you, how rude of me."

Monika stared at Natalie. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Obviously I'm joking, you idiot," Natalie laughed before giving her a soft kiss. "Why wouldn't it be you? And besides, I thought we aren't going that far yet, especially after Sayori almost vomited at the thought of us doing the . . ." She formed a fist with her hand and pounded it against her thigh in a crude gesture.

"Then we'll avoid the-" Monika copied the action, "for the foreseeable future. Unless of course I'm just," She flipped her hair dramatically, "too irresistible for you-"

"You know I can hear you, right?" Natsuki interrupted. "One more word about either of your sex lives and I might just puke."

Sayori decided it was the perfect moment to reappear again. "Who's having sex?"

Natalie winced and rested her head against Monika's shoulder. "From now on, all of our private discussions will happen in the corridor."

"Agreed."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Natalie had never been to a school festival, but she couldn't lie that it had been so much better than she could've imagined. The food, the music, the events—she suddenly understood what it was that had the others so excited all week.

And by the time it was over, she was completely drained. Yuri had finally left with all of the decorative and atmospheric items she'd brought along with her, Natsuki had joined her of course, and Sayori's parents had come to drive her home since the event ended so late.

"You look tired," Monika noted as they climbed into her car.

Natalie nodded in agreement. "I feel tired. I can't guarantee that I'll actually stay awake until we get back."

"Come on, you can stay awake for a little while longer," Monika urged her as she started up the car and began to leave the parking lot. "The day's not over yet, and, should it be our last together, I don't want it to end early just because you want a nap. Besides, I have something to show you when we get back."

"What is it?" Natalie asked. She kicked off her shoes and curled up in her seat. "Just to warn you, I'm way too tired to get railed, so—JESUS, WOMAN!"

Monika had slapped her hard around the head. She moved her hand back onto the steering wheel and continued to drive as before, only now there was an amused smile on her face. "That's not what I meant. I never thought of you as the crude type," she commented. "You seemed so—sure, a little cold and closed-off, but—naive and innocent."

"Oh no, I've had some . . . interesting encounters, including that guy who ran off half way through because he was having second thoughts. I'm not kidding when I say half way through," she added. "It was weird, to say the least."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, if we were to do something like that some day in the future, I would never run off like that," Monika assured her. "But let's change the subject, because we're definitely not that far in yet," she laughed.

"Are you going to drop any hints as to what this little surprise is?" Natalie asked her. "Any at all?"

"Patience, love," Monika laughed. "Patience."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"So?"

They entered the front room together, Monika pulling Natalie along by her hand. The action gave her flashbacks to their first day together. Before any of this, neither had much if any trust towards one another. It just went to show the surprisingly powerful way shared trauma can pull people closer.

"Well," Monika opened the lid of the piano across the room. In all honesty, Natalie had no idea how she hadn't noticed it there before, "so you know how I've been, like, practising piano and stuff?" She slid the stool out from beneath it and sat down, reaching up for a sheet of music placed on top. "And I'm not really any good at it yet . . . Natalie, why are you laughing?"

"No, it's not you, I promise," Natalie giggled. "I-it's just that this exact little thing you're saying now is what you said at the end of the game. I suppose you're still half computer program after all."

"Oh. So, um . . . should I even bother playing the song then-?"

"Yes!" Natalie quickly interjected. She realised quickly how desperate that response must have come off. "I-I mean, yeah, I'd still love to hear it. Really. If you're comfortable with it, of course."

"Well, I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't," Monika quipped. "As I said, though, I'm not really any good at it yet, like at all, but I wrote you a song, and I was kinda hoping that I could show it to you . . . but we already agreed that I would. So . . . why did I say that? What's happening to me?"

"Monika." Natalie sat herself beside her and soothingly rubbed her shoulder. "Don't overthink it. Just play."

After taking a breath to steady herself, Monika nodded. She flexed her fingers a little and then placed them against the keys. As her hands started to move gently, a soft song began to play from the instrument. She took another deep breath and began.

"Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you-"

Monika suddenly stopped. Reading off the sheet music, Natalie played the light melody near her end of the keyboard. "I used to play the piano a lot," she told her. "Sorry. I won't touch anymore."

She laughed under her breath and continued.

"In my hand is a pen that'll write a poem of me and you.
The ink flows down into a dark puddle.
Just move your hand—write the way into her heart.
But in this world of infinite choices,
What will it take just to find that special day?"

"And there's a little more too," Monika added as she removed her hands from the keys, "but that's what I wanted to show you. So? What do you think?"

"I think . . . that you're the best girlfriend I could want," Natalie concluded. "And I think I really don't want to leave this place. Or you. Not now. And preferably not ever."

"And I don't want you to leave either." Monika wrapped her arms around her waist and moved her legs onto her lap. "I don't want to be alone again. Not now. And preferably not ever."

Natalie sighed. Her hands absently played with Monika's ponytail, not that she was at all bothered by it. "Is this still a game?"

"I really don't know," Monika admitted. "If it is or isn't, I'm not sure if I'll ever know. I don't really know anything, when you think about it. This entire world is as alien to you as it is to me. Everything shifted the moment we met, and I don't just mean that in the cringey love-story sense. Something changed, and I'm scared to think about what you leaving could mean for the others . . . and for me."

"Then let's not think about that."

She glanced at her. "Huh?"

"We have the whole evening still, if I do leave tomorrow, that is," Natalie said. "We still have hours. Let's do something fun. Anything you want to do. Considering this may be our last chance, any reservations are out of the window. What do you want to do?"

"Um . . ." Monika trailed off her sentence. She shifted away slightly and angled herself so that most of her face was hidden behind her hair. "Never mind, you'll just think I'm being weird . . ."

"No, no, tell me," Natalie insisted. She took her hands and held them between hers. "Please?"

"I just . . . can we . . ."

"Yes?"

Monika sighed. "I've just . . . I've always wanted to . . . can we just cuddle? I knew it, I'm just being weird, aha, my bad-"

"No, let's do it," Natalie agreed. "I'm as much yours as you are mine. If you want to cuddle, we'll do that. Come on."

Surprising herself with the ease of the action, Natalie slid one arm beneath Monika's knees and placed the other behind her back. She lifted her up and simply carried her across the room towards the couch, setting Monika down on her lap.

"Whoa-" Monika laughed as they landed together. "You're surprisingly strong."

Natalie raised an eyebrow. "Surprisingly?"

"Well, not surprising, but you know what I mean. You're tall, sure, but a little . . ."

"Lanky?" she finished. "Yeah, I've accepted that now, but just because I'm lanky doesn't mean I can't carry a girl two inches shorter than me."

"No, I didn't mean that as an insult!" Monika quickly interjected. "You're not lanky, there's nothing wrong with your body, nothing at all, if anything your body is perfect, but I mean, not in, like, a sexual way—why did I say sexual? It wasn't supposed to be, I promise, but that's not to say you have no sex appeal, of course, oh jeez . . . Natalie, you're laughing again."

Natalie hid her smile behind her hand. "No I'm not," she lied. "You just . . . you have this tendency to make these, as I like to think of them, self-destructive monologues, where you say something you think is wrong, but then make things worse when trying to fix it. It's kind of adorable."

"Well, I'm glad I amuse you at least," she retorted. ". . . Nat?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Natalie furrowed her eyebrows. "For what?"

Monika tugged a throw blanket down from behind them and placed it down across their laps after seeing Natalie shiver. "Oh jeez, where do I start? You saved everyone's lives, you gave my Literature Club the happy ending it deserves, but not only that. You . . . you gave me hope to continue the club, to continue my own life, both of which I considered ending early." She paused for a moment. "When did you realise you had feelings for me?"

"Honestly?" Monika nodded. ". . . Maybe day two, but I didn't want to spook you off or anything. It kinda sounds sketchy really, a 20 year old falling for an 18 year old high school student."

"Day two?" Monika repeated. "Really?"

"Really," Natalie confirmed. "You winked at me and I went all jittery. Since then, it was sort of just hard to focus on anything with you around. Your turn. When did you first fall for my good looks and charm?"

"Clumsiness, you mean?" she added teasingly. ". . . Day two." Natalie snorted. "Oh shush, it was after your moment anyway. It was, um, when you climbed onto the table and poured water over Natsuki and Yuri to break up their fight. I shouldn't have thought that was so cool, but it was kinda badass. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to be you or be with you. And I know my character was always programmed to somewhat have feelings for you, but that just made it more real, I suppose."

"All this time," Natalie mused. "Maybe if we weren't both such cowards, we'd have had this moment already by now."

"Maybe," Monika agreed, "but what matters is that we're here now. Anyway, did you see Natsuki and Yuri earlier?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Monika smirked. "Ah, so you didn't. Well, guess which pair were seen walking around the school festival holding hands? I knew they've been messaging in secret for the last week or so, but today was the first time I saw them so close in person."

"You knew they were messaging each other?" Natalie questioned. "What did you do? Hack into their phones?"

"No," Monika quickly denied. "Well . . . yes, but I already knew Yuri's password, so I just went into her phone to snoop and found her message history with Natsuki. It turns out they've been helping each other out with their issues for a while now, and going out for ice-cream together. Can you believe it?"

"I always thought they'd be sweet together," Natalie responded. "I feel like the balance of Yuri's reservedness with Natsuki's cuteness and feistiness really work well."

"They do," Monika replied. "By the way, by any chance did you finish reading Yuri's book?"

"Yeah, right, the Portrait of Markov," Natalie recalled. "It was . . ."

She froze. . . . What had the book been about? She'd read it, she had absorbed some information, of that she was almost certain, but for the life of her, she had no idea what she'd read. Not a word of it came to the forefront of her memory.

". . . Natalie? Natalie?"

"I, um . . . I don't remember," Natalie admitted. "But yeah, I read it. I think I liked it. Why?"

"Because I tried reading it and hated it," Monika stated frankly. "I was just wondering if that's your kind of thing or not. I've always been more of a fan of romance novels I guess, but not those ones that are too lovey-dovey, if you know what I mean. Am I rambling?"

"No, I like listening to you talk," Natalie replied. "It's sweet when you get into something and get all excited about it. Anyway, for all I know, this may be the last chance I get to listen to you ramble away before it's all just a memory . . ."

Monika curled up closer. "I don't want to lose you. I . . . this may be too forward, but I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to say it again if I don't take it now. And I don't want you to think I'm being weird, or putting you under any pressure or anything like that. It's just I-I . . . I love you, Natalie. I love you so much."

Natalie's hold tightened. She smiled and kissed her forehead. "And, if you don't mind me saying. I love you too, Monika," she whispered. "Always."

Chapter Text

She barely remembered falling asleep. The memory itself was a little hazy, but that was to be expected in the morning. She remembered the feeling of Monika's arms wrapped around her, holding her close, and smiled, her eyes still shut.

Never could she have imagined herself in this situation. Surely she was living out so many people's fantasies at this point, right? Feeling so comfortable, so intimate, so wonderfully content in her arms.

Natalie blindly reached out in front of her, but it was when her hand made contact with something solid and cold that she took a double take. Her eyes snapped open and quickly adjusted to the light. She was facing a wall, a wall that certainly wasn't present anywhere in Monika's house.

So that would mean . . .

Her heart began to race, a constant thudding in her throat. She kicked her covers away from herself so that they landed on the floor.

She was in her room. Her laptop was exactly where she'd left it. Her calendar displayed the same date it had previously, completely unchanged. Her school uniform was nowhere to be seen.

She scrambled out of bed and caught her reflection in her window. A hand crept up to her face. Her breathing halted.

It was gone.

"No. No it's not." She frantically searched her room for her phone. "No, it can't be."

There was a buzz from somewhere across the room. Her phone briefly vibrated on her dresser, the screen lighting up for long enough for her to see the date.

31st December 2018.

"N-no, no, I'm not—it's not—" She fell to her knees on the floor and clutched the sides of her head. The school, the club, the girls, her friends . . .

. . . Monika . . .

. . . It couldn't have been gone. It just couldn't. It was all so real. She held her hand up in front of her face, the same hand that had frequently been held by Monika's own. But it wasn't the same hand. It felt so real. So real. So real. So real.

No effort was made to dress herself. She opened her laptop, relieved that it had been left on standby, and attempted to load the game.

Monika's programmed letter showed up, followed by the error code caused by completing the game. It seemed as though nothing had changed.

She opened the game files and looked briefly through the contents. The messages, the text files, they all had been deleted.

She scrolled to the bottom and read the title of the text file there. A simple double click and it was open. She squinted at the screen in confusion, but within seconds had a Base64 converter open.

...

IMPORTANT - PLEASE

Hi, it's me again. You know . . . Monika. I gave the file this name to grab your attention, just in case you don't remember. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.

Don't ask me how I did this. Not that you can exactly, but that's beside the point. Something changed when you left—genuinely left—and this is the only way I can talk to you now. I have to place this in one single text file, the last thing I'll ever say to you, so I'll try to fit it all in.

By now you've realised this is written in Base64. That was the only way to send this through without the files automatically removing it. But anyway, you figured it out, didn't you Natalie? I've always said you're smart, despite the fact that you ignore me every time. Maybe this time you'll listen.

What I would give to join you in the world of infinite choices, to spend the rest of my days with you . . . Every change you made, every perfect little impact you had on the others, still remains, only now severed with your disappearance.

It may be selfish of me, but I want you back, more than I've ever wanted anything in existence. It's only the thought of being with you again some day that's keeping me alive. I don't want to add pressure on you like that, and you have every right to move on from me, from my Literature Club.

Just know that, no matter what, I'm always here. I don't know where, or how far away, but always. No matter how long it is before we meet again, you'll forever be my goofy, clumsy, perfect best friend and love of my life. Remember that. Promise me you'll remember that, Natalie.

I guess there's not much more for me to say. If I continue, I might never stop, especially without you to silence me. Just . . . live your life. Have fun, make new friends, eat as much lactose-free ice-cream as you can. I know it's not easy, it's not easy for me either, but if there's one thing I can completely promise you, it's that this isn't the end.

Until we meet again, my love.

Monika.

P.S. I love you.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

She stood outside on her father's balcony as those still inside continued to countdown from 10 to new year. The street in front of her was still busy, and voices from other new year parties carried through the cold bitter night air. A strong breeze caught at her hair and part of her dress. For a moment, it almost felt like a breath against her skin.

She swirled around the champagne in her glass in one hand, with Monika's note printed onto a small piece of paper in the other.

"3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . ."

As everyone inside cheered, she took a swig of champagne and sighed. Fireworks went off in the distance somewhere, though she barely reacted to them.

She raised her head to look up at the sky. It was a completely clear night, the lack of clouds allowing for each individual star to shine at their optimum brightness.

A little smile twitched at her lips. "Happy New Year, Monika," she whispered. "I love you."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘ ༓ ∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Monika, wanna read my poem?" Sayori placed a sheet of paper down on Monika's keyboard. ". . . hey, Monika?"

"Hm?" Monika finally closed her laptop and looked up. "I will, of course. Sayori, could you just give me a minute?" She untucked her chair and began to leave the clubroom.

Sayori looked at her worriedly but let her go nonetheless. "Yeah. Monika, are you okay? I don't know why, but all of a sudden you've been acting . . . sad."

Monika had to make an effort to stop herself from explaining. Any time Natalie was at all brought up, she felt a searing pain in her head, followed by the others acting as though she hadn't said anything at all. They didn't even know she was gone. She couldn't even share her pain . . .

"I'm okay," she lied as she closed the door. "I'll be back."

With the door closed, she leaned forward against the windowsill in the corridor, the very same windowsill she remembered Natalie leaning against during their private conversations. She turned around and mimicked the way she used to stand with a heavy sigh.

But she was still alive. Somewhere in that distant world of infinite choices Monika could only dream of visiting some day, Natalie was living her own life, going to work, making friends, yet still being the same smiling and bright self she always was.

She wasn't even sure why she bothered referring to Natalie's world as the world of infinite choices anymore. Monika knew she had infinite choices here, and that had only been since Natalie had first entered, but it didn't seem to stem that feeling of longing in her heart.

Monika turned around again to gaze out of the window. The sun still shone bright over the horizon, light rays seeping past the white clouds.

A little smile twitched at her lips. "I'll see you again some day, Natalie," she whispered. "I love you."