Archive of Our Own

Min Yoongi was not insane.

He had Dissociative Identity Disorder. Yoongi wasn't the cause of his own disorder. He had a stressful and unfortunately pressuring childhood that was highlighted by some poor decisions which made him appear like a worse person than he actually was.

Min Yoongi was born the third and last kid to his parents. His two older brothers were named Daeshim and Hyunki, who were six and five when he was born. That left them with a large age gap between the two of them and Yoongi. By the time he was five years old he was able to play fun games, and wanted to hang out with his brothers, but they were eleven and ten. They didn't want to associate with their tiny and immature little brother.

He wished that he'd had a closer relationship to them, they seemed cool. His oldest brother was the best goalie on his soccer team an placing mid in his classes, his other brother was a great singer like his father. They were nice and Yoongi often wished he was older so he'd have more to talk about when he hung out with them.

Yoongi had always heard that the middle child was always the most disliked or the most neglected in the family, that'd never been the case with them though.

Yoongi was pushed hard. He was pushed much harder than his brothers. He was always encouraged to be the best at everything, do whatever it takes to get to the top and stay there.

His mother didn't say that he had to dance like she did, but she heavily implied the idea. So from age 5, Yoongi started dancing, even though he hated it. Dancing wasn't fun to him, it wasn't something he could get into doing and it wasn't something he was emotionally attached to. He felt obligated to go because his mother wanted him to do it, every class Yoongi felt like he was being made a target.

"BEND YOUR ARM MORE YOONGI"

"SPEED UP"

"TURN YOUR FOOT OUT MORE"

"GET YOUR LEG UP HIGHER"

His dance instructor was constantly yelling at him. He knew that dance was a demanding and competetive sport, but was his instructor supposed to hit him when he couldn't get a move down properly? When Yoongi was stretching was he supposed to force his legs down further into splits he couldn't do? It wasn't his fault he wasn't flexible.

Was his arm supposed to be wrenched so hard that it dislocated and had to pop back into place?

He had tried to tell his mother about the issues he was having with his instructor, but he didn't even get to say anything before he was shot down. "I'm sure that he's just trying to get you to do your best. You know that dance is difficult, and he's just making sure that he has the best people on the team".

So he would suck it up, and keep dancing, keep dancing for his mother and father.

Piano wasn't fun either, but what was he expecting? He never found classical music interesting, but he was being expected to enjoy piano classes? Both his brothers took piano, but they were allowed to bail out eventually. Yoongi was forced to take lesson after lesson on piano, listen to that stupid repetitive metronome tick and tick and tick until it rung in his ears and was ingrained in his brain.

School wasn't any better. He was expected to be the top of his class. He could always do better, he could always improve. What did it matter that he got an A if it wasn't a 100? So what if he got the highest test score, it wasn't perfect so who cared? He often thought back to the day in third grade when he'd come home holding a test score. It was on area and perimeter of squares. He'd scored the highest in the class. He'd gotten an 85% and his teacher was so impressed she put a smiley face on the top of his paper.

He'd held it up to his mom and dad excitedly "Look! Look! I got the highest score out of the class! Ms. Park said she was really proud of me!" he beamed as he shoved it into their hands.

"Only an 85%? You know you could've done better" his mother sighed.

Yoongi cocked his head to the side in confusion "But she said it was a good score! And it was the highest in the class!"

"Who cares if it's the highest test score in the class? That's a mid-B. You should've tried harder" his father said, and Yoongi watched as he tossed the paper in the trash.

That was the day that Yoongi realized that it didn't matter what he did

His best was never good enough.

Maybe basketball had started off fun, a game that he enjoyed playing and wanted to keep doing as he got older, but it soon became joyless as well. He'd feel the adrenaline rush of the game, the clock buzzing as the time ran down. He'd revel in the sounds of the crowd cheering as he made shots, the adrenaline boost of the game was the only thing that kept him going. Because he hated practice, he hated being made an example of because he couldn't dunk. 

He was short. As if he chose to be short. 

He wasn't running track so what did it matter that he wasn't the fastest person out there? He would wonder as he ran lap after lap around the gym. 

He'd get a short feeling of pleasure as the teams all shook hands and they congratulated each other on a good game. By the time he got to the locker room all that energy was gone. He wasn't left happy or pleased or proud of how he played. He was left thinking of how much better he should've done, how much harder he could've played, he gave it 100% but shouldn't he have given it 120? His feelings would only be reiterated when he'd walk out to the car with his mother and father and they'd say "Only three 3-pointers? You could've played better Yoongi".

He remembered the first time he shot a game winning point right as the buzzer rang out. He'd been so happy. He'd felt so good that he was basking in that excitement as he changed and dried his sweat, running back out to his parents.

"Hey did you see that shot that I did! Wasn't that cool?" he smiled as he jogged towards them, weren't they going to be proud!.

"Yeah, it was fine. But imagine how much better it would've been if it was a three pointer" his dad said, and Yoongi felt like he was punched in the stomach. All the excitement diminished.

His main source of happiness, deflated in a second.

Maybe he'd fallen in with the wrong crowd? Or maybe he brought it on himself. All his feelings were kept built up inside of him, hidden from everyone else as anger festered inside of him.

Yoongi was 8 when he got in his first fight. Some kid had bit him in the arm, and Yoongi punched him in the stomach. The boy deserved it, he shouldn't have bit him.

Yoongi was 9 years old when curse words became a regular part of his vocabulary. He can't remember where he'd learned them all, but most of his sentences included at least one.

He was 10 when he got his first pack of cigarettes. He'd found a pack laying around, and he knew how to use them, so he tried them. They weren't very good, he didn't enjoy them much, they made his breath smell bad.

He was 11 when he'd gotten the first bottle of alcohol. He'd swiped a beer can in the store that he walked to, he payed for a candy bar at the front and walked out with it and a can of beer.

He could hear voices in his head as he took the first sip. He'd had it before, this was his first time with an actual whole can though.

"This isn't helping Yoongi"

"Put that down!"

"That stuff is bad for you!" they'd shout at him.

Was he going insane?

At age 12 he'd gotten in 3 more fights, he'd been suspended a couple times too. He smoked his first joint, don't ask him how he got it, he didn't know. He just kept finding them, and he knew he'd be continuing to smoke more.

At age 13 he'd started taking performance enhancing drugs. He'd get dopamine over the counter and he'd take it before recitals and games. He always preformed better with them, like the packaging said. They'd give him bursts of adrenaline, he was making more shots, running faster, dancing cleaner. It made him feel great. It made him feel like maybe if he took more then he would finally be good enough.

Two weeks before his fourteenth birthday, Yoongi was expelled. He'd already had 2 out of the strikes that he needed to be kicked out. Sure, he was top of the class, but he was also the least behaved. All of his strikes had previously been for fighting. Mostly people deserved it, he wasn't violent. It's just that some people tried to fuck with him and he doesn't tolerate bullshit. Sure maybe he punched one kid in the face that had tried to correct his paper because he was pissed off but he'd APOLOGIZED after.

He wasn't a monster. He was fed up. He could hear voices in his head, that no one else could hear. He'd have massive parts of his memory blocked out, where he couldn't tell what was happening or if he was missing something. Sometimes he'd finally feel like he was back in the real-world only for it to be in the middle of a conversation that he didn't know how to participate in. He was scared, and upset and worried, its just it all channeled into pent up anger. It'd been happening for a while but it was even worse now.

His last strike actually wasn't for fighting though.

It was a MIP, minor in possession. He had got up to turn in a paper, tripped over his own feet and spilled his water bottle onto the carpet. The teacher had gotten up to help, but water shouldn't be sticky. Yoongi got up to get paper towels and his walking wasn't quite straight, a little-lopsided to one side. So he was sent to the office, and that was when they found out that the water bottle he was sipping from wasn't filled with water. He was drinking vodka during class. That was enough to get him expelled from school. He was lucky he wasn't fined for it.

When he took the piss test they also found traces of weed and dopamine as well. He was lucky he wasn't jailed.

He was kicked off the basketball team and the dance team, for use of performance enhancing drugs and his parents were furious. They didn't understand what had gotten into him, they didn't know why he was he was like this, they didn't understand why he was taking dopamine pills, they didn't get why he was smoking and drinking at only age thirteen. They didn't understand that he was only trying to be the best version of himself, taking drugs to help him be better so they felt proud of him. He just wanted them to be proud and it was never enough.

His parents had taken him to the psychologist a couple days later. In a 60 minute session, 60 minutes with a person he'd never met before, he'd been diagnosed with a mental disorder.

Yoongi had BPD, borderline personality disorder. 

The symptoms weren't crossed checked, and they weren't reconsidered, Yoongi didn't go in for a second session. That was it.

He was broken. He was impulsive and angry and emotional, incapable of making proper decisions.

So what if he was excelling in school, piano, basketball and dance? His best wasn't good enough, and it was even more obvious now.

He'd gone home and looked it up, but he could tell it wasn't what he had. There was no temporary memory loss, no hearing voices that aren't yours in your head. No feeling as though there were many different people in your body.

He'd tried and tried to tell his parents. "I don't know what it is but I don't have BPD!"

They said he was delusional and in denial.

Yoongi didn't expect much for his birthday. He actually didn't expect anything at all. Both his brothers were at home attending community college with different class times and his parents both worked. 

They rarely even remembered his birthday.

If he was lucky he'd get a non-committal Happy Birthday thrown in his direction. If it was a miracle, then maybe a cake. 

He never got presents, he would see other boys and girls come to school with new shoes or clothes or talk about money they got. Some of them got trips to amusement parks, or Disney land! Yoongi never even got a party.

He rarely attended other peoples birthday parties even if he was invited, because "you can't miss that recital/game/practice".

He knew he wouldn't get anything this year, considering his birthday was two weeks after he'd been expelled.

So he'd been pleasantly surprised when he was woken up at 5 o'clock in the morning by his brother. "Get up, we're going somewhere. You don't need any clothes or anything"

Yoongi had been excited, thrilled, maybe he'd finally get a birthday present this year!

It'd been an hour car drive of Yoongi looking out the window. He was confused by the tense silence in the air, but he said nothing.

Where were they going?

They turned down a winding road and the radio service cut out. The silence hung even thicker now.

"Lee Sangchuls' Institution for the Mentally Insane?" he read out, as they drove by a crooked sign. It looked old.

"Why are we driving here—no! You didn't right? This is a joke right? I'm sorry about the drugs and the fights, I'll stop just please don't leave me there!" Yoongi says, panicked.

This wasn't his birthday gift right? This must be a joke that they're doing to convince him to behave better. Something like that TV show Scared Straight.

"They'll be here to help you, they know how to treat your illness and they'll help you get better"

"No! Y-You can't do that! It's my birthday! I'm supposed to get presents and cake! I'm not supposed to be put into a mental institution, I'm not insane!" Yoongi shouts.

"You didn't even tell me beforehand! You didn't give me a chance to say goodbye to anyone! This isn't fair! You- You're fucking joking right?"

"Do we look like the type to kid? You're mentally unstable. You drink, you smoke, you do drugs, you get in fights, you've been expelled. Do you think that we can actually help you?" his mother says, she doesn't even turn around to look at him.

"Yes! I'll work my hardest to be good, and I just need love and support in return! It's not an impossible thing to do"

"We can't help you Yoongi."

The drive goes silent.

Then the institution comes into view. If this was a cartoon, a storm would start brewing immediately, the lightening would crack onto the structure and bats would screech around it.

But it's not a cartoon, this is real life.

It looked like a haunted house, it looked creepy. It looks run down. Yoongi's scared.

"No! You can't send me there! It looks scary! I-I don't want to go! I don't want to be sent away! You can't leave me here like that!" he yells, his voice ridden with fear. The tough mask of Min Yoongi has shattered and broken, leaving a scared teenager in it's wake.

"We don't have a choice"

"NO NO PLEASE MOM DAD PLEASE DON'T" Yoongi screams as his whole family pulls him out the car and up to the front of the scary looking place.

"Stop making a scene and calm down!" Daeshim shouts, and Yoongi's tears start spilling.

"YOU CAN'T PLEASE! IT'S NOT FAIR! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE" Yoongi screams, thrashing around as they haul him up the steps.

The door opens, and an older woman, late 50's is standing at the door. Her smile is just as unsettling as the house, faux and hollow. 

"Is he causing you some issues?" she asks, and his parents nod.

Two big built men come out of the shadows and grab him, pulling him into the dimly lit place. Yoongi's screeches fade into silent cries as the realization fully hits him.

This isn't a joke. They really think he's insane, and they're leaving him here.

He watches as his parents sign forms and releases, scribbling away.

When they're done, they place the pen back down and slide back the completed papers.

He cries for his mom and dad from his restrained spot, only to be ignored.

It's his birthday, he's barely even really a teenager and his parents are leaving him with these scary people.

He sobs as they turn to him "Goodbye Yoongi" they say coldly and they walk out the door without so much as a hug goodbye.

He just wants a hug so bad now. 

Min Yoongi was fourteen when he was involuntarily admitted to the most corrupt mental hospital in Korea

"What? You wanna act like a fucking punk? Huh? You wanna be all big and bad and drink and smoke like a fucking grown up huh? Well you're gonna get fucking treated like one!"

"No! T-that's not what I was doing!" Yoongi cries. It was his first day here. He didn't even know what was going on. He felt a sharp pain throbbing through his face as his head whipped to the side. He sobbed loudly.

"Let me tell you something. You are not in charge here. You don't talk back. You don't fight back. You take it like the fucking child you are. You are the fucked up person here. Not me. Got it!" the man spits in his face, holding Yoongi up by his collar.

"Yes, yes! I understand!" Yoongi wails.

"Stop fucking crying ugh! I fucking hate kids!" the man shouts, dragging him down the hall.

He gets thrown into a cell. It has a concrete floor, there's a "Get undressed" the man demands and Yoongi pales.

"Get undressed?"

"Didn't I fucking say so! Don't make me come over there and strip you myself!"

"Sorry!" Yoongi cries, starting to pull his clothes off.

He doesn't remember the rest of his first day.

They still thought he had BPD. They weren't cross checking anything. They weren't concerned for his well-being. It was a sick place. They wanted plaint subjects they could use for torture, not actually helping to get better.

He didn't know what day it was. He didn't know how many days had passed since he'd been admitted. He just knew that he wanted to die.

 He missed the outside. His cell had no windows. He longed to go outside, he longed to even look outside. He didn't know the date, they never told him but when he'd ask they'd get mad.

Everyday they ate the same thing. For breakfast it was unseasoned scrambled eggs and a piece of soft white bread, for lunch it was dry, seasonless, skinless, overcooked chicken and a sad excuse for a salad that was just lettuce and shaved carrots in a bowl. They didn't get dressing for the salad. Dinner was the same as lunch with the added on delicacy of a burnt piece of toast.

All of the meals came with water.

He missed good food, he missed deserts, he missed soda and most of all he missed his family.

He hadn't seen them since they put him in here. He hoped that maybe they'd come to visit but they never did. Yoongi hadn't seen anyone who wasn't a "doctor" or "psychologist" since he'd gone in.

Any form of individuality or defense was frowned against. You had to follow instructions exactly or you'd be punished. 

One day, Yoongi had thought to make a 'chicken salad'. He took the shredded crappy chicken and placed it in the bowl that held the 'salad', ripped up the bread into it. He even poured some of his water into it to imitate a salad dressing. He started to eat it together. He'd been punished for trying to eat it like that, and received a good beating to know to never do it again. The food was given separately so it must be eaten that way.

He'd be put in a straitjacket sometimes. He'd made the mistake of fighting back one time when he was first admitted, only because they were punching him! He was quickly overpowered and bruised horridly, then tied up in a straitjacket, deemed a "high-risk threat". He hated it. He couldn't move his arms to even eat. He was fed like a toddler, except much more forcefully. He was powerless to do anything but be transported and rolled away in a stretcher to a room. He didn't know what happened in the room. He could never remember, but what he knew is that it wasn't good.

The worst thing Yoongi could remember was the needles. Whenever they felt like you were getting too rowdy, or starting to think for yourself, they'd inject you with needles. So many needles.

They'd pull blood for no use, it was purely used for fear tactics and to scare the patients, they haven't run any blood tests on him since he joined the hospital. The most horrifying thing wasn't what they'd pull from his body, it's what they'd put in it. There was a clear drug that they'd insert into any part of your body and they'd inject you with the medicine.

It left you completely conscious but unable to use your limbs. It was the stuff of nightmares. It interrupted nervous system signals and left it to where the only part of your body you could move was your eyes. You could still feel all the pain that they'd inflict on you, but rendered to only being able to rapidly move your eyes and scream from the back of your throat, incapable of opening your mouth.

The whole hospital was corrupt, they used malpractice, they were killing people without a care or any concern. You couldn't leave, you were trapped once you got there. When Yoongi went in it was 2007, and they were treating patients as though it was the 1800s.

Maybe if someone came to take you out you could leave, but Yoongi hadn't had anyone come back to see him.

He never slept well. He never slept through the nights. He was always on guard, always terrified. If his mind could stop running for long enough to fall asleep, he'd be woken in the middle of the night to screaming. 

It was common.

There was always screaming, day and night. There were loud shouts of staff, screams of patients, loud thuds, a few times Yoongi had heard gunshots. There was always someone who was being tortured at any given moment.

Because that's what it was. A glorified torture and slaughter house.

He saw people wheeled past on stretchers, limp, pale and lifeless looking. They look dead. They look like they were pushed too hard. Murdered.

He didn't know where they went. There was nothing around for miles, maybe they hid the bodies around the yard. He saw them roll past all the time. The number was in the double digits, maybe the triples.

Every day Yoongi was scared it'd be his last. That he'd die in a concrete cell that he never belonged in. That he'd die because they didn't care about him.

Sometimes he wished they'd come in and shoot him, accidentally insert medicine into somewhere it wasn't supposed to go and kill him. Put him out of his misery.

Yoongi didn't remember the worst of it though.

Because Suga took it all.

Yoongi didn't know where he got the weed and the alcohol from, but Suga knew where. He was the one getting them. He'd hear the others complaining about how he was enabling the issues, about how he was making it worse. But he didn't think so. The drugs and the alcohol made them all feel better, they all made them feel better. Maybe in the wrong ways, but it didn't matter to him.

He felt bad now, now that they all were here. He felt like it was his fault. He felt awful.

So that's why he took it.

He took the electric table, and he blocked out all the alters when it happened so they wouldn't have to deal with the trauma of it.

He saw and felt the needles, the beatings, the awful punishment of the straitjacket. But he also felt the electric table.

Two big built men would walk into the room, put him onto a stretcher and hold him down while they secured his hands and feet down. He'd be rolled through the hospital and entered a room.

There was a table with straps, hooked up to an electric unit. He'd be transported from the stretcher and pinned down to the table while he's strapped up once more.

Then little pads would be place on his body, two on the sides of his chest and two on his stomach. One pressed to each of his hands and legs. One pressed to his head that had a separate dial for use.

The first day he got there it was told that the electrocution would help rewire his brain and get rid of the "violent mood swings and tendencies he felt".

Suga wasn't violent either. He responded to threats. If there was a threat he'd go into fight mode. He couldn't help it. After everything he'd gone through it was an involuntary reaction. Even as a young boy he could tell that it was bullshit. That it was simply another form of torture to get him pliant.

The electric unit would be turned on, starting off light, a weird hum through the body. Then it'd be increased, to a feeling like the buzz of a shockpin. It'd only get worse from there. His limbs would start twitching involuntarily. He'd feel a loss of control over the body, not like the body was switching, as though he couldn't control muscle movements. Then the buzz would start to take over his senses. It'd consume him whole as the pain burned through his body. His mouth opened and screams and cries would start to leave it. He'd lose control over his tongue so he couldn't beg for relief, even though it wouldn't change anything. His body would contort and jerk and spasm, uncontrollably. He felt pain and pain and pain.

He would lose control of his bladder sometimes, a normal reaction to electrocution, but it didn't make it better. He'd be humiliated for it too afterward, sometimes punched for acting like a "fucking baby". 

The electric table was the worst pain he'd ever felt.

But he'd take it. Because he knew it was his fault that they were there anyways.

It was a beautiful day the day the Korean police came bursting through the doors. They broke it down and came in demanding for all the staff to "put their hands up in the air and not move a muscle"

Before anyone could even get their hands up, another blood-curdling scream rang out through the halls. That only made the police move faster. They ran towards the noise and starting detaining any of the staff members working there.

Yoongi had been put in his straitjacket sometime that he presumed to be three days ago, and he hadn't been out of it since.

He hoped they'd come and take him out of it.

He wondered what the outside world looked like. Was it more industrialized? He thought it was stupid that people wondered whether cars would fly in the future, but he wondered if they really could. Technology was moving pretty fast when he was put in here in 2007, maybe there was some new something, and everything had changed?

He was sitting on his rock-solid bed, looking at the door of his cell when the first police officer came by and looked into the room.

"Hey! This one has a straitjacket on!" he shouts to the other one, and they walk towards him.

"Do you think he's dangerous?"

"I don't think so? He looks kinda young. How long do you think he's been here?"

Yoongi weighs his options and decides to speak.

"I was put in here March 9th 2007. My fourteenth birthday." he says, looking at the police officers.

"I don't know how old I am, maybe sixteen/seventeen? But I was put in the straitjacket I assume 3 days ago. It was for screaming too loudly when they hit me"

"Well, today is May 21st 2014. So you are twenty-one years-old."

It's been 7 years? His parents left him for seven years and didn't come to check on him?

He hasn't been outside in over 7 years, 2,630 days.

He starts crying immediately.

"Hey kid, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I-I miss my parents" he cries, head slumping downward.

"I'm gonna go in there" one of the officers says, sliding open the door.

The officer takes off his straitjacket, moving slowly and with caution. Once it's off, the officer handcuffs Yoongi's hands in front of him, just for safety precautions. Yoongi puts his hands in his lap and is sure not to move them

"Well, we can safely say that anyone who works here will be going away to prison for a long time" the police officer says, standing up and walking to the other end of the room.

"B-but what's gonna happen to me though?"

"We're going through the patient files, and we're gonna see what needs you have. We're gonna try to contact your family members on file, and we're gonna find the best place to put you."

Yoongi nods.

"Can you tell us anything about the hospital? Your experiences here?"

From there, Suga switches in.

"W-well. We got the same two meals every single day. They would put me in a straitjacket if I was getting too independent. They'd beat me up a lot. They'd inject me with needles. They'd uh- electrocute me. And the others. Same things go for everyone else in here. You might need to check the grounds around this place for dead bodies."

"If it's not going to make you uncomfortable, could you elaborate on the needles and electrocution parts"

So Suga talks about the needles, and the electric table. 

"So we can find you in the files, what's your name?"

"My name is S- Min Yoongi"

"Alright, we'll come back in a little bit to get you"

The exterior of the hospital hadn't changed in the 7 years Yoongi had been there. It still looked just as bone chilling, if not more terrifying now that he was a subject of the tortures that happened on the inside.

He thought it would be more ceremonious, the first time stepping outside in seven years. But it wasn't. There was nothing to look at. Everything around them was dead. Nothing was green, there was nothing to see. The sun wasn't out, it was cloudy and dark and dingy. Reminiscent of the first day he went in.

Though fresh air was more amazing then he ever thought it could be. It was wonderful, he thought as he inhaled deep breaths of fresh air. Seven years of no fresh air really did make you appreciate it when you can.

Before he ultimately gets thrown in another mental hospital where they'll probably do the same.

Sure, they said that the people who worked in that one were corrupt and sick, and were going to go to prison for a long time. 

But really it was just luck that anyone ever came. Someone escaped from their cell and ran the miles to get to the nearest building where they called the police to check out the hospital. He's sure there are others that treat patients the same way, and if he gets put in another one it'll be the same thing.

Sit in his cell and get beat up, willing for a day when God will finally kill him off and end his suffering.

Maybe they all were corrupt and Yoongi just ended up in the worst one.

Min Yoongi was fourteen when he was involuntarily admitted to the most corrupt mental hospital in Korea

Min Yoongi had spent over seven years in the sickest hospital in Korea.

Min Yoongi was the longest surviving patient in the last twenty years of Lee Sangchuls' Institution for the Mentally Insane.

And he'd only been there for seven

His parents had moved. And left him to rot. Neither of his brothers were in college anymore and they'd all moved to different places. His old house had been sold to a new couple and all his stuff was gone.

They didn't want anything to do with him.

So he was admitted to a new hospital.

As he rode there in the police vehicle they talked about how "the place was very safe and set to help those with mental illnesses reintegrate into society"

It was new and they were positive that it would be a great fit for him. They also had teachers to help those who need further education get GED's and even college credits if they want to go to school in the future.

They have group therapy classes and you get care tailored specifically to your needs.

It sounded nice. 

But what if it wasn't? What if it was all a coverup for another awful torture house? Or worse, what if it was exactly what it said, and Yoongi couldn't reintegrate? What if he was broken forever?

There were so many what ifs, Yoongi wasn't even sure he could trust anyone again.

The hospital seems fine so far. He's not sure he has much of an opinion on it. It's much more visually appealing both inside and outside, compared to the old one. The walls are bright white, fluorescent lights hang from the ceiling. It's all very impersonal, and sterile looking. He'd take sterile over bloody any day though.

He didn't see any scary torture machines sitting out anywhere. There wasn't any concrete or peeling wallpaper. There was no scary big bodyguards looming in shadows. The front desk receptionist seemed nice, her smile didn't seem fake but maybe it was.

He didn't hear any screaming, or shouting. He didn't hear anything actually, there were some people talking in a corner, their voices were the only thing he could hear.

It was big, two floors. From what he'd seen, the top floor holds "patients that have more triggers or need more care", then the bottom floor.

Yoongi was being admitted to the top floor. 

Apparently he'd be getting a nurse, a psychiatrist, a doctor and a teacher to all help him. He was being admitted to the top floor because they were "unsure if his diagnosis was accurate or what could possibly be a trigger for him, and they didn't want to risk him being negatively affected by external factors"

He supposed it made sense, but he still was scared. He didn't want to be here at all.

He's led into a room. The walls were painted a white color, a little dimmer than the white in the hall. The floor is carpeted white. There's a desk sitting in the corner of the room with a chair in it, presumably for schoolwork, and a twin bed pushed against one of the walls. He sits on it. It's pretty comfortable, a lot better than his old one. Hanging on the wall is a calendar and a clock. Adjacent to the door there's a bathroom. It holds a shower, toilet and a sink. There are bottles of shampoo, conditioner and soap sitting out. There's no door to the bathroom, but he guesses its fine. So long as no one goes walking towards the bathroom door they can't see him.

"Okay, so these are your clothes. I'm setting them on the bed. You do have to change into them today. I'll be back in 20 minutes to come discuss some things with you" his nurse smiles and Yoongi watches as she walks out the room.

"Hi Yoongi. I am Kim Namjoon, I'm your psychiatrist. Pleased to meet you" Namjoon smiles as he walks into the room.

"Hello Kim Namjoon-ssi." Yoongi says. He was sitting on the bed in his new scrubs, staring at the wall in front of him.

"You can just call me Namjoon if you'd like. I'm here to talk about your diagnosis." he speaks, and Yoongi's eyes shift toward his direction.

"It's my belief that you do not have BPD. Looking in the file, it seems that your diagnosis was made in one session, and then not further checked upon correct"

"Right"

"Well, the things you were describing do not match with the symptoms of BPD. You expressed concern over hearing other voices in your head, roughly three distinct ones. You mentioned lapses in memory and feeling as though you 'weren't in control', and often zoning out during conversations."

"Yeah"

"I obviously need to get to know you better, but it seems like what you described fits with some other personality disorders. Specifically dissociative identity disorder. A lot of your symptoms seem to match"

"Is that better or worse than BPD" 

"Well, mental illnesses aren't black and white like that. You just would need different treatments than someone with BPD, seeing as they aren't the same" Namjoon treads carefully.

"Can I ask you some questions?" He asks.

Yoongi hums in response.

"Have other people come up to you, calling you by a different name than Yoongi"

"No, that's never happened before"

"Do you often find yourself suddenly in the middle of a conversation, or in a room that you weren't in before?"

"Yes, all the time"

"Are the voices in your head ever referred to by their own names, or have you heard them mention someones name you don't know?"

"Yeah, a couple times. There's a higher pitched guys voice, who I think was called Gloss? Another one, deeper was called Suga? There's a girl voice, it sounded like someone said Yoonji? But it could have been the person I was talking to at the time saying my name"

Namjoon scribbles down on his paper the names. 

"I don't want to overwhelm you with information today, so I'm gonna stop there. We don't allow new patients into the cafeteria to retrieve lunch. But the options today are nachos and cheesesteak, if you don't want either we also have peanut butter and jelly."

Yoongi does a double take. There are dinner options? He gets a choice for dinner? It's not overcooked chicken! "I- uh nachos? Yeah! Nachos" he says, poorly masking his excitement.

"Okay. I'll go get them for you, and I'll be back momentarily." Namjoon smiles, walking out the room to retrieve the food.

Namjoon felt bad for Yoongi. At age twenty-one the boy had already gone through so much. He didn't want to make the mistake of improperly diagnosing him again, but DID was primarily caused by childhood trauma done before the brain could create a distinct personality. He went into the hospital at age 14, so the trauma would've had to have come when he was younger.

March 9th 2017

Yoongi feels depressed.

He's officially twenty-four years old. Today marks the tenth year in mental hospitals for him. Today marks the tenth year since he last saw his family.

Namjoon must realize Yoongi doesn't feel good, because when he walks in the room he's hesitant on what to address him by.

"Hi! You are..."

"Currently, it's Yoongi. But I can tell today's not gonna be a good day. I feel really crappy, just overall. I feel really homesick too, today is a lot of big things and the good isn't really outweighing the bad right now. Might be a really switchy day. Suga will probably be out at some point. He might try to punch the wall, or cry, or he might just want a piece of cake. Gloss might be out too. Shit Yoonji might be out at the rate the day is going"

"I understand the way you're feeling. If you feel as though you need to talk about it I'm here."

"I-It's just" he pauses and sighs "It's been 10 years of mental hospitals to the day today. And ten-years since I've last seen my family. I've stopped hoping that they'll show up one day, and I know that they weren't ever really the best, but I still miss them. Obviously, I'm doing good here, and I'm progressing overall in my mental health. It's a lot better than the...other place. But I'd still rather be out there" he motions to the window "then in here"

"I understand what you're saying. It's a perfectly healthy feeling to miss your parents, and I don't blame you for wanting to not be living in the center"

"I-I just wonder if they ever think..." Yoongi's voice trails off as he starts swaying back and forth.

He's switching. 

It seems to be taking a while too, so it must've been a bad one.

"Hey Namjoon-ah" Yoonji looks up.

"Hello Yoonji-noona. I haven't seen you in a while" Namjoon smiles. Yoonji is the only one who's older than him, so it's safe to assume who is fronting when he hears the words "Namjoon-ah"

"You know I don't front often, not really my favorite thing, y'know having to deal with all the annoying human needs when I can be perfectly content without having to worry about them. Yoongi was having a hard time with the conversation. He got a little choked up in his feelings, and Suga hasn't been around all day. I guess he's been feeling some sort of way too. Gloss kinda picked up on the bad vibes and didn't want to come out, which left me to come forward. I mean Agust would've been a worse choice to pick so I understand."

"Ah, well if you see Suga, tell him that if he needs to talk or vent about anything then I'm always willing to help"

"I see how it is. I come out for a day and you already want me running away to go play messenger?" Yoonji sighs.

"No! That's not what I meant-"

"Aish, you're so up-tight Namjoon-ah, it was only a joke" 

"Dr. Kim, we need you're assistance at the front office" a light voice murmurs through the door, Namjoon could guess it in a heart beat.

"Really, I should be back again to talk if any of you need it" Namjoon speaks, bowing and walking out the door.

"What is it Minnie?" Namjoon asks, briskly walking towards the elevator.

"Patient Mins' family is here" Jimin says.

"Really? Today out of all days?" Namjoon rolls his eyes.

"Ah, you know how it is. Family dips and then shows back up on a day that holds significant value because they feel shitty for abandoning someone who cares"

"Jimin-ah! This a professional environment!"

"We're standing in an elevator, but that's not the point. I'm asking if you think Patient Min will be able to handle his family visiting. His parents wouldn't be very pleased if he said no though, they're already making a scene."

"I don't know. We'd actually have to ask him. He's been making good progress, and he's shared on multiple occasions that he misses them, even more so today specifically. But I'm worried that a visit could negatively impact the progress we've been making over the past three years. Especially with his assigned nurse leaving suddenly, this might be too much change at once. I'd definitely have to attend, but I think he could do it. If he wants to"

Namjoon pecks his boyfriend on the lips.

"It's loud out there, I can't get them to be quiet so you'll have to do it jagi" Jimin says.

The elevator dings. He hears shouting. Shouting is not good.

"I demand you let me speak to my son!" A woman shouts. He sees a man and a woman, late 50's early 60's standing in the lobby with two other males that seem to be slightly older than Namjoon himself.

"Ma'am. I'm going to have to ask you to calm down, your shouting can be disruptive to some of our patients with auditory trig—" the front office woman is trying to speak, but she gets cut off by the older man, presumably Yoongi's dad shouting.

"Our boys traveled across seas, and we traveled 4 hours to get here! We aren't leaving without speaking to our son!"

Jimin shoots him a 'can they shut up' look as they walk towards him.

Namjoon puts on his hospitality voice.

"I assume you are Mr. and Mrs. Min. I am Dr. Kim Namjoon, your sons current psychiatrist. I'm going to have to ask you to lower your voices" he says as he bows at them.

"I'll lower my voice if you let me see my son!"

"Ma'am. We will allow you to see your son if he permits your visit. We have to ask him first, but you also have to lower your voice because you could be upsetting the patients with auditory triggers like shouting"

"Why does he have to permit our visit? I am the father not him!"

Namjoon wants to say, yeah the father that abandoned your son for ten years when he was only fourteen, but he bites his tongue.

"Yoongi is now an adult which means he does not have to allow you to visit if he does not want to. He's not having a good day today, which could affect his ability to be able to handle a heavy conversation with you"

"I want to see my son!"

"And I told you I have to ask him if it's okay first!" Namjoon says sternly.

"You are not my superior, you cannot tell me what to do!"

"You are asking to see the patient that I am currently taking care of, and so I am incharge of whether or not he can or cannot see you! I'm already concerned about letting the people who left him for ten years show up out of the blue see him! So if he doesn't want to see you then that's how it will be!" Namjoon says in a scolding tone.

Mrs. Min clamps her mouth shut.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Jimin stifling a smirk.

"Jimin-ah, can you catch them up on Yoongi's condition while I go ask him"

Jimins smirk fades as he nods.

Gloss had fronted almost immediately after Namjoon left.

And he'd never met Yoongi's parents. He was created when Yoongi was 15, and he will eternally stay at 15. So he doesn't even know who they are. When Gloss agreed to do the visit with Yoongi's parents, he wasn't expecting it to go off the rails so quickly.

Both his teacher Jimin and Namjoon are staying in the room with him, sitting beside him to make sure that he stays okay.

The tension is thick in the room, and he feels like he's suffocating before the first word is even said.

"Happy 24th Birthday" 

Gloss immediately disassociates. It's not his birthday, he isn't 24, these aren't his parents, he doesn't know them and he shouldn't be the one talking to him.

"What's going on" Daeshim asks.

"He's switching. Give him a moment. This conversation is probably a bit much."

"Hello. My name is Suga. You've met me before, though you never knew it. I was the person that you thought to deem 'violent and impulsive'. It's my twenty-fourth birthday too, even though you were definitely wishing one to Yoongi." Suga's voice is hard, disinterested. His body language is rigid and tense.

"Why are you here? Did you feel guilty that you sent your son away to live at a torture house? Did you feel bad that you've never once reached out to him for the past ten years. What made you decide to show up ten years later as if you aren't the cause of over half the bad shit that's ever happened to any of us?" Suga asks.

"We just wanted to say sorry" Mrs. Min says.

"Sorry for what? Sorry that you were shit parents? Sorry that you never once considered mine and Yoongi's feelings? Sorry that you didn't listen when I said my dance instructor was abusive? Sorry for never once being proud of me? Sorry for not ever asking how we were feeling? Sorry for sending us away instead of trying to help? Sorry for leaving everyone to rot? Sorry for never reaching out? What are you sorry for? Do you think it will fix anything? Do you think that I'll ever accept your stupid fucking apology?"

"Yoongi—" Hyunki starts

"Don't 'Yoongi' me. I'm not Yoongi. My name is Suga. You aren't even my parents, but you sure did fuck up my life. You were the only parent figures I've ever known and you pushed me to the brink of insanity. You wanna know who got all that stupid fucking alcohol, and the weed, and the dopamine? It was me. Because I needed it—we needed it. To make it through a fucking day"

"All we wanted to know was why you were taking all that stuff"

Suga scoffs. "You don't fucking get it do you. I did it because of you. Because any time I ever tried to do anything good, it was never good enough. You wonder why I got the alcohol, as if it didn't give me the buzz and the mindlessness I needed to not think about how much I dreaded going home to have to go to a dance practice I was abused at! NONE OF US EVEN FUCKING LIKE DANCE! I took dopamine because I wanted to be better to impress you! Yoongi wanted to be better to impress you! We did better when we took it, there was less for you to critique and be disappointed in us about! I smoked joints to help me cope with the fact that I was never gonna live up to expectations, because I never will. I'm not as good a person as Yoongi, I'm not good enough for you. I'M NEVER GOOD ENOUGH" he shouts.

"I don't get it. I was pushed hard as a kid, and I never turned out like...this" Mrs. Min points at him.

"What? You didn't turn out to have a mental disorder? Or turn out—what was the word they used for it—insane? Broken? I couldn't fucking tell, considering I'm the person sitting in here and you're the people out there. But in case you haven't noticed, I'm not you. Nor is Yoongi. So we couldn't handle it. What are you gonna do, scold us for it 'oh Suga, I know you had a rough childhood but you could've handled it better'" he mocks.

"That was rude" 

"You know what's rude? LEAVING ME TO BE ELECTROCUTED AND BEAT UP EVERY FUCKING DAY! LEAVING ME AT FOURTEEN! WALKING AWAY FOR TEN FUCKING YEARS! YOU FUCKING SELFISH PIECES OF SHIT—" he breaks off into a sigh. "i-i can't handle this" Suga freezes.

"I- I want to leave, right now" he says, turning to Namjoon.

Namjoon nods sharply, standing up. "I will be escorting Suga back to the room, and Jimin-ah will be showing you the way out"

"What! We only got to see him for less than ten minutes! And the entire time he yelled at us!" Hyunki shouts.

"We didn't even get to see our son, we got to see someone who calls themselves 'Suga'! I wanted to see my son!" Mr. Min exclaims.

Namjoon briskly walks out, this did not go to plan.

September 15th 2017

Today Yoongi meets his new nurse. His last one went on maternity leave, but didn't return and transferred elsewhere.

"Hello, my name is Jung Hoseok. I'll be your new nurse" Hoseok smiles as he walks into the room. 

Yoongi glances up and immediately blushes. Hoseok was really attractive. His teacher Jimin is attractive, as is Namjoon, but he'd never felt attracted to them. Hoseok is the 'send butterflies into your stomach and leave you breathless' attractive.

"H-hey. I'm Yoongi." he stutters. What the fuck? Stuttering? 

"Hello Yoongi. I'd really like to get to know you and all your other alters better!" Hoseok sends another blinding smile in his direction. Yoongi feels his heart flutter.

"Y-yeah I'd like to get to know you better too" Yoongi grins.

Suga and Hoseok did not get off on the right foot.

Nor did Yoonji and Hoseok (in Yoongi's opinion)

Because Suga is apparently a fucking flirt and whatever, flirt if you want but not with the brand-new nurse who Yoongi also happens to have eyes for. Find your own crush thank you very much.

Yoonji had rolled her eyes and just outright said "oh, this is what you two have been flipping out over. I don't see it." which sure was VAGUE but also very obvious.

Especially considering the fact that Hoseok was the only other person in the room when she SAID IT.

Yoongi honestly just think Hoseok is being nice just be nice because he kinda has to be.

Hoseok himself however, is having a mental breakdown.

It's probably wrong that he thinks that Yoongi's tiny stutter every time he's around is cute.

It's definitely wrong that he was not apposed to the idea of Suga's hand sliding a little further up when it was on his thigh.

It's definitely wrong that he sometimes thought about what it'd be like to kiss both of them.

Would Suga kiss back hard and aggressive, like how he flirted? Would Yoongi be sweet and pliant and wait for him to make the kiss deeper?

He's definitely concerned that this will cause a conflict of interest as it escalates, and he's definitely trying to pretend like he doesn't see the heart eyes that Yoongi is oogling him with.

January 19th 2018

"Namjoon-hyung, do you have a significant other?" Yoongi asks, laying on his bed one day.

"Yes, in fact I do"

"What's she like?" Yoongi sighs.

"Well. I'm pretty sure you already know what he's like. You see him regularly"

Yoongi's eyes widen. He's gonna be so fucking pissed if Namjoon says he's dating Hoseok, and ruins his chances.

"We've been dating for a little over 4 years. He's short, only a little bit taller than you. He's younger than me...he currently has blonde hair..."

"You're dating Jimin-hyung!" Yoongi gasps, sitting up in the bed.

"Yep" Namjoon pops the p

"We don't normally get assigned patients together, because we don't want to make patients feel uncomfortable or slip up and say something we shouldn't—"

"Say something you shouldn't? Like what hyung" Yoongi teases.

"Like call each other jagi or something! Not like that you horny bastard!" Namjoon exclaims.

"Why'd you ask suddenly? Is this about your growing crush on Hoseok-hyung" Namjoon smirks.

"What! No!"

"Oh please, I've been in here like three times while you were in the same room as him and you're practically dripping with crush mannerisms" Namjoon laughs dryly.

"Oh fuck. Don't tell me I was that obvious" Yoongi groans, flopping back onto the bed.

Namjoon chuckles "It's very obvious, but at least you aren't actively working to fuck him like Suga"

"Hyung! That was so vulgar!" Yoongi gasps.

"Says the one who just insinuated that I might call my boyfriend something very inappropriate in a very professional environment!"

"Plus you can't even say I'm wrong. I was in here with Suga and Hoseok and he literally had his hand halfway up Hobi's thighs. A couple inches higher and he would've been touching something he shouldn't."

"Ugh! WhyYyY" Yoongi whines. "I mean I'm fine with him trying to go after Hobi-hyung too but like could he not do that!"

"Wait! Why aren't you concerned that I'm trying to get in the pants of my new nurse? Wouldn't that cause a conflict of interest if something actually happened there?" Yoongi realizes.

"Hm. Not really. You've been making phenomenal progress. We had that little short period where you backtracked a little bit after your parents visits, but other than that you're doing amazing. I mean you got your GED, you're working towards college credits. You've been allowed to go to the cafeteria for dinner with me for a while now. If you were as to start a relationship with Hoseok then I'd still be here to make sure that everything was moving smoothly. I genuinely think that you're ready to be in a relationship now, but it might be difficult to deal with"

Namjoon isn't surprised when Hoseok walks into his office a month later asking to talk about "personal matters".

Hoseok wrings his hands together and then just starts word vomiting.

"So like you and Jimin are together and you guys are really cute and I know that it isn't the same but you work together right? So you wouldn't understand what I'm talking about but I think I fell for a patient. I know it's wrong because they're only supposed to be my patient and I should just be helping them and not falling for them but I can't help it. I figured I should ask for a re-assignment because I know it's wrong and it's only going to get worse. Does this make me messed up—" Hoseok rushes out.

Namjoon interrupts him. "Hoseok. Pause. Take a breath. It's okay. You're talking about Yoongi and Suga right?"

"H-how did you know?" Hoseok sputters. 

"You think I'm not observant? I've seen the way you flush when Suga touches you. Or when Yoongi smiles and you can't help but smile too. Or the fact that I can tell when you are being happy because you want to be friends with someone or when you're being happy in the way that's 'I wish I could date you I like you a lot'" Namjoon says.

"And you didn't say anything!" Hoseok squawks.

"No. If I had an issue with it I would've. But just for your information, this exactly the same conversation I had with Yoongi a month ago about his and Suga's crush on you" Namjoon says.

"AND YOU STILL DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

"It wasn't my place to tell." Namjoon smirks.

"Ugh. Fuck you and your moral compus" 

"Wait? So you'd really be fine with it? Like I'd keep to keep being his nurse?" Hoseok says in disbelief.

"Yes. I'd be fine with it." Namjoon sighs exasperatedly.

"But like does this make me messed up? Like some Stockholm syndrome type thing?"

"Depends. Are you attracted to Yoongi and Suga because of them or because of the fact that they are here."

"No. I like them. Not the situation" Hoseok says.

"So then I see no issue with it"

March 16th 2018

The first kiss isn't that great because neither Yoongi nor Suga have either kissed anyone in over 11 years and are very much so out of practice in that department. 

It's kinda very embarrassing when Hoseok pulls away and laughs "you kiss very messily"

Yoongi whines and slinks away back onto the bed.

"Don't act like a wounded kitten, it was a joke" Hoseok laughs.

"That was mean! That's my first kiss in 11 years!" Yoongi whines, Daegu accent prominent. 

"And a perfectly fine kiss it was" 

"Aren't you supposed to be taking vitals not bullying me for my makeout inexperience?" Yoongi pouts.

"Yes I am. But I'm a very good multi-tasker" Hoseok laughs, grabbing the blood pressure cuff.

"So, what do you want me to call you?" Hoseok asks.

"Suga? What the fuck else would you call me?" 

"I meant pet names! Like can I call you babe?" 

"Absolutely not. That's disgusting" Suga makes a gagging motion

"What about honey?"

"If you want me to pour a jar of honey on your head then sure" he deadpans

"Sugaplum?"

"I'll throw sugarplums at you if you even fucking dare"

"So I'm sticking with Suga."

"Nice choice" he laughs.

June 1st 2018

"Guess what!" Hoseok singsongs as he walks into the room.

"You're cutting all your hair off and becoming a bald man" a light voice says

"Absolutely not!" Hoseok gasps, absentmindedly running a hand through his black hair.

"I was going to say that you've been approved to do the nature walk outside with my supervision!"

"Ooh! Really! I really want too!" Gloss says excitedly.

"I figured you would. You can put on your rubber soled shoes and we can go"

He laughs at how quickly Gloss is across the room and pulling on his shoes.

The two walk down the hall and outside the door.

Gloss runs toward a little tiny plant on the ground and crouches beside it.

"Look! This ones so tiny and cute!" he points, running a finger lightly over a tiny flower on it.

"Yeah! And it's glossy, like your name" Hoseok agrees.

"Oh it is! That's so cool!"

Gloss stands up and walks around, wandering aimlessly down the path before stopping in place.

"Outside? We're outside? What are we doing outside?" A gruffer voice asks. 

"You were approved to go outside, so you're on the nature path outside."

"Nice!"

Suga spins around before noticing a fountain and going to sit beside it.

"I used to not like going outside. I don't know what it was about the outside, but I much preferred to be inside. It had a little to do with my allergies to magnolia trees, which were all over the place where we lived. I liked reading, unlike the rest of my personality, I found reading really enjoyable. I really only liked going outside when it was raining, the feeling of the water on my skin nice. But I'd rather curl up in read inside. It's crazy how things can change like that. The outside feels nice now, I don't know how to describe it. Maybe freeing. Especially here, it feels calming" Suga says, running his hand through the water.

"Yeah, I've never been the biggest fan of the outside either. I mean appreciate mother nature and all, but there are much more interesting things to do inside. Especially because I get to see you inside, and my job takes place inside and I love my job" Hoseok smiles.

Suga takes the water and runs his hand through it again, pulling it out to write H+S+Y on the concrete fountain.

"Love you. Switching" Suga mumbles.

Yoongi smiles as he looks down "Suga's work I see. I know that I'm not dating him, but I'm glad he still thinks of me too"

Yoongi stands up and walks around. His eyes land on a dead and wilted plant, and he gravitates towards it.

"Oh dear. Poor thing must've died. Joonie would have a fit if he saw it" Hoseok says, looking at the thing.

"I like it! Reminds me of myself. Lonely, outcasted. Maybe misunderstood. It didn't get the attention it needed so it died, withering away. Or maybe it got love it needed, but it just couldn't hang on. Bogged down by the pressure to grow and flourish in a stressful environment—and now I'm just projecting" Yoongi breaks off into a laugh.

October 12th 2018

"Hello! Who are we talking to right now!" Hoseok smiles as he enters the room with Namjoon and Jimin.

"Suga" says the boy preoccupied with math work.

"What are you working on?" Namjoon asks.

"logarithmic functions" Suga grumbles, flipping the pencil in his hand to the eraser side.

"My smart boyfriend" Hoseok smiles.

"But, we have really big news so you're gonna have to stop your work!" Jimin says excitedly.

Suga puts the pencil down reluctantly and looks up.

"You know how we've been talking about your amazing progress, and how that was the reason I was saying that you could date Hoseok-hyung? Well, that wasn't the only thing that I was thinking about due to the progress. And you've progressed even more. So, we've all decided...."Namjoon holds off the end of his sentence for dramatic affect.

"Just fucking tell me!" Suga sighs exasperatedly.

"YOU CAN LEAVE THE HOSPITAL" the three boys shout quietly.

"No fucking way!" Suga actually shouts.

"Yes way! You've been doing so well! You've been getting college credits, you've been approved for group therapy, cafeteria eating, outside walks, and pretty much everything here!" Jimin exclaims.

"You've been perfect for months! We were just trying to make sure that your progress was going to be around to stay and it is! Obviously you'd have to do out-patient therapy, and if you feel like you need it you can come back, but we really believe that you are ready to leave. If you want!" Hoseok smiles. 

Suga shoves the chair out the way and runs up to them, hugging each of them tightly.

"Shit! Don't break my ribcage!" Jimin gasps when Suga hugs him.

"You guys! This is so fucking exciting! I've been waiting for fucking years!" he exclaims, tears welling up in his eyes. 

"Goddamnit now you've got me crying you pieces of shit" he laughs through his tears.

"Hyung, I was obviously thrilled when you told me the news about leaving. I really want to leave, but I don't want to leave you. I don't have anywhere to go, or stay, and I don't have a job or money. I'm worried about what I'm actually going to do." Yoongi shares, sitting on his bed, leaning up against Hoseok's shoulder.

"I was actually meaning to discuss this with you. But how would you feel about moving in with me? Before you say anything, I know it's really soon. But we spend hours every day together, and we know so much about each other too. I have an extra bedroom in my apartment, and we'd get to stay together and everything. It'd be a major step in our relationship, but I'm ready to take it with you. If you're ready to take it with me" Hoseok says.

"Hobi, I'd love to move in with you. I just feel cumbersome, I can't really contribute anything. I don't have a job, it's gonna be hard for me to get one considering all the shit on my record and a mental disorder. I haven't really been in the outside world since 2007 and its 2018. I mean the last phone I had was a Nokia N95 and I'm pretty sure that's no longer an acceptable thing to be using now. I'm just worried that I'll be so behind it'll be hard for me to ultimately catch up again in society. I deadass don't even know who the current president is" 

"First off, the current president is Moon Jae-in, just so you know. Second of all, I don't care if you can't get a job. You don't have to waltz out into the world for the first time in 11 years and immediately assume you need to have a job. I make enough money to be able to support two people. You aren't, nor will you ever be cumbersome. You definitely need societal catching up, but I'll be there to help you through it." Hoseok says, grabbing Yoongi's hands and staring into his eyes.

"But Hoseokie. I don't know anything, I don't know how to do anything. I can't even fucking drive! It'll be like carrying around a dead-weight everywhere! I don't even own any clothes!"

"Yoongi. I want you to listen to what I'm saying. I don't care. You aren't a dead-weight. I told you I'd help you figure it out. Who the fuck cares if you can't drive? Joonie can't drive either! You aren't a burden, and you aren't useless! You are very smart, you're a wonderful person, and you mean so fucking much to me. I really want you to understand that I want you to be happy! I don't know why you'd ever think that I'd care if you didn't get a job!"

"Hyung, can I move in with you?"

"Yes! Jesus that's what I was asking in the first place!" Hoseok exclaims, pecking Yoongi's lips.

"By the way, you absolutely cannot use a Nokia N95. You need at the very least an Android"

October 19th 2018

"I can't believe this! I'm actually going to leave the hospital!" Yoongi exclaims for the 9836th time.

"Yes, you've mentioned that several times" Hoseok laughs as Yoongi signs the last release form.

Yoongi sets them all on the table but then pauses standing there.

"'m switchy" he mumbles. He stands there for another thirty seconds, and Hoseok waits patiently for the switch to happen.

"Hi Hoseokie-hyung!" Gloss says excitedly.

"Ah, I take it that you also know what's happening today?" Hoseok laughs.

"How could I not? Everyone is so excited! Well, besides for Agust but Agust is never much of anything..." Gloss says.

"Well, Yoongi just finished filling out the paperwork, and I took the day off to take you home, so we were getting ready to leave."

"YAY! Oh My Gosh! What are we still standing here for! Come on lets go!" Gloss exclaims, grabbing Hoseoks hand and pulling him towards the hospitals doors.

"Okay! Eager child! Calm down!" Hoseok laughs.

"I am not a child! I am 15 years old and I am very responsible!" Gloss argues pulling Hoseok through the doors and outside.

Yoongi doesn't remember going to Hoseoks apartment, he was signing release papers and then he was suddenly sitting on a couch in a random place.

He had embarrassingly enough, panicked. Hobi had to calm him down from an almost panic attack by reassuring him that he was safe and in his apartment, not kidnapped somewhere. 

After that embarrassing moment, Hoseok got up to show Yoongi a tour of the place. He also said that both Gloss and Suga had already seen it, but Yoonji had not fronted.

Hoseok took him around and showed him the guest bedroom, that would now be Yoongi's, along with the bathroom. Then Hoseok's room, and the kitchen/dining room combo. 

Yoongi stopped to pause and pick up things along the way, marveling and pointing at certain things he hadn't seen before.

Like a 2018 MacBook. 

Yoongi picked it up and looked at it, then he opened it. "Oh! I think I know what this is! It's a computer right? But it's so light? And it doesn't have any wires!" he gasped.

"Yeah. I had a different laptop, but Joon-ah broke it because he's so destructive. He said he'd by me a new one, but I just went ahead and decided to treat myself by buying this one even though it was fucking expensive." Hoseok sighs.

"Ooh! It seems like a normal computer just lighter and smaller. I had a desktop computer, and the first MacBook—which I also assume is no longer in style—came out in 2006, but my parents never bought one and none of my friends had one."

"Yep! It's pretty much the same as a normal computer except there are new websites and games and much more interesting stuff to do on it now. I don't see a lot of people with desktop computers anymore, unless you work at an office or need a bigger screen. Laptops are more practical since you can move them, and charge them with a small cable. Kook has like 4 monitors but that's cuz he's a gamer boy" Hobi laughs and then remembers something "You have to meet Jungkook and his boyfriend Taehyung, Oh! And Seokjin-hyung!" 

"Woah there! I literally just got here!" Yoongi exclaims, but he's laughing. He wants to meet more of Hoseoks friends, he hopes they're nice.

As they walk around the house more Yoongi notices something. "Holy shit you have a Wii!" he shouts, running up to the console connected to the TV.

"Oh yeah. It's weird seeing someone getting excited over a Wii, it's not really—"

"Let me guess, another unacceptable society thing?" Yoongi cuts him off.

"No. Not really. Unlike your Nokia phone, Wii's aren't really an unacceptable thing. Wii's are cool and all, it's just they don't get updates anymore and there are better consoles to get now. I get the boys to play with me sometimes, but most of the time we go over to Kook and Tae's apartment to play on their console, because Jungkooks always buying new consoles they always have the most updated one." Hoseok says.

"Seems like a waste of money. Aren't there new video game consoles like every other week? Those things aren't cheap" Yoongi wonders where anyone's getting the money for that.

"That's exactly what Jin-hyung says, but Jungkook's a famous streamer so he needs nice consoles and stuff. By the way, streamers basically play video games live online and they get donations and stuff from viewers. Then Kook posts the live gameplay on youtube and he gets a bunch of money."

"Oh, that sounds like a fun job." Yoongi smiles.

"I'm sure it's fun, but I really enjoy my job too, so I'm happy with my choices. Plus, I got to meet you" Hoseok sing-songs.

Yoongi blushes deeply.

"Aww, you're so cute when you blush" Hobi teases, and Yoongi blushes further.

Smartphones are too difficult to use, Suga decides.

They're practically infuriating. And god is social media tough to navigate.

The last social media website that Suga ever had was Myspace. He mentioned it once and Hobi laughed "Oh my gosh I forgot about MySpace Sugaplum! I've got to get you an Instagram and a twitter account"

Hoseok had started to call him Sugaplum, even though when he first brought up the idea Suga was really quick to shut it down, the nickname had grown on him. Not that he'd show it of course, but he did like the name a good bit.

Suga found sharing a phone annoying when he was the only one sharing one with Yoongi, and now it's just even more irritating.

Yoonji, being the ever smart person she is, downloaded a few apps to get rewards from different restaurants that the different alters enjoyed. Suga was fine with that. It was nice to get free shit from places.

Yoongi didn't really download a bunch of apps, he had solitaire (god that game is boring), a music making app, and one other thing that he can't figure out the use for and a few social media apps. Yoongi mainly texted and watched youtube. Whatever, Suga didn't care.

Gloss for fucks sake. Every time he's on the phone he's pretty sure that a new mobile game has been installed and every time he knows it's Gloss. Because who the fuck else wants to play mobile games? Yoongi doesn't care, Yoonji doesn't care, Suga doesn't like them, and most of them are too stupid for him to get invested in. So of course it's Gloss. They take up so much damn space.

Another debacle was the whole music app thing. This app called Spotify. It was nice. Suga liked it, and he doesn't like most things. It hosts music from all over the world, and unlike Instagram, it's very easy to use. But music is apparently a massive trigger for most of them, so it's hard for them to be able to listen to music without having a switch. They were all liking songs, so they'd play on shuffle and they'd all switch depending on what song it was.

Hoseok said that they should each make a playlist titled with their names, that way they only had to listen to the music they wanted to listen to. Suga was glad his boyfriend was at least smart phone savvy.

So that's what they did, and that helped a lot. Especially because their music taste was all over the place. 

Yoonji liked heavy metal. Which was the most hilarious thing, considering she's so calm all the time. She also really seemed to like this American artist named Ariana Grande and Suga thinks her voice is annoying. Plus, those two things don't sound remotely alike.

Yoongi liked deep lyrical rap songs about sad shit, poverty and a bunch of other stuff. Suga actually had some of the same songs on his playlist as Yoongi.

Gloss liked a bunch of random songs, and Suga couldn't even find a specific genre or mood that he went for.

Agust (who'd only fronted twice ever) had only 10 songs on his playlist. They were all depressing sad songs with a ukelele from some American artist named Mxmtoon. 

Suga had a lot of songs that Yoonji would call "misogynist songs that dehumanized women". Which technically wasn't wrong because most of them were about fucking bitches but it's whatever considering Suga was very gay and in a relationship and definitely not fucking any bitches.

Which is why they all had different playlists.

The whole system decided to make a journal. It was about feelings and shit like that. Stuff that they didn't feel comfortable talking about out loud, or just stuff about themselves was put in the journal.

The first two pages were dedicated to introductions from the alters

Yoonji- Greetings! It's nice to meet you if you're new here! My name is Yoonji, I'm 29ish. I'm female. I'm currently the only girl in this system and it's a nightmare to deal with all the boys so if you're another girl please come see me I beg you. Anyways, If you have any big questions about the crazy world, ask Hoseok-ah. He's living with us, and he'll help you out with the manners of Earth (the planet that the body lives on). He's also dating/courting/mated to two other alters named Suga and Yoongi who have their own pages, so be careful with what you do unless you want to end up with a very angry Suga. Please feel free to write about yourself in the journal if you feel comfortable. My negative triggers are: blood, mean girls and crying.

Yoongi- Hello. My name is Yoongi. I am 25, and I'm male. I'm the host of the body, so I'm normally in the body most commonly. If you walk over to the mirror (shiny reflective surface) I am the person that you see. So when you front you look like me, not what you actually look like (confusing? right?). I'm dating Hoseok-hyung, who lives in the apartment. Please don't freak out if you see him, he's a safe and very kind person. He'll help you if you have questions about something. If you'd like you can say something about yourself, I'd like to know more about you. My triggers- anxiety driven situations, dancing, rude parent figures/mean comments from older people (long story).

Suga- Hey. I'm Suga. I am 25. I am the second most common person in the body. I'm not good with introductions, or with people or with basically anything. So, as the rest have said as Hoseok-hyung for any questions, and you can write in this giant mess of a fucking journal if you want. Triggers- pain (thats both a positive and negative trigger, it depends on the pain), shocking/electricity (VERY negative), parties (positive), alcohol and other drugs (negative), fights(?), lots of other shit, I have a very long list. 

Gloss- Hi!!!! My name is Gloss! I'm 15 and Yoonji calls me very hyper! Hobi-hyung is really nice and friendly so you should ask him if you need something! I like to meet new people, or hang out with friends so I'd really like to meet you! Oh! It'd be cool to have a younger sibling so if you are younger it'd be cool to meet you as well! Don't feel intimidated by the outside world because all of our friends are really good at helping us out! My negative triggers are- screaming, loneliness, small spaces, fighting, certain foods (grilled skinless chicken, long story).

Agust- (this is Yoonji, I'm writing for Agust). Agust is a very closed off person, he's been through some stuff, that we'd all rather prefer not to talk about. He doesn't speak, and he's only been in the body twice. I'm not sure of his age, though I think he might be a dead alter. We haven't really spoken to him much, so we aren't familiar with his triggers. Based off of his creation I think these are his negative triggers: Self-harm, self-destructive habits, talk of su*cide.

If you're feeling su*cidal please call the prevention hotline on the phone (how to call on the phone is on a page in the book) by typing in 1588-9191. We don't want anything bad to happen to you or any of the other alters, so make sure to be safe!

We love you! A big hello from The Bangtan System!!!

They hadn't had a new alter join the system since Gloss when the body was age 15, so they highly doubted anyone new was going to be joining the system, but it was nice to have in there.

They made sure to write little tidbits of information in case someone needs it (how to call for help on the phone + phone password, how to send a message for help on the phone (texting), how to make a simple sandwich for food ie.) simple things that some alters might struggle with if they're new to the outside world.

It took a while for Yoongi to meet all of Hoseoks friends. He was worried they wouldn't accept him for who he was so he kept putting off meeting them, even though Hobi kept mentioning that they would all be very supportive and understanding, and they were all excited to meet him.

He was glad Hoseok didn't push the issue further or try to force him to meet his friends, rather let Yoongi decide when he wanted to meet them. Eventually though, the time came where Yoongi was decidedly ready to meet everyone all together as a group.

Apparently, the whole friend group decided to live in the same apartment complex, though they're all on different floors with different sized rooms.

It was a little difficult to find a time where they could all get together due to their all very different work schedules but they eventually made it work.

They all met downtown at a restaurant that they all like a lot. 

Yoongi really loved Hoseok's friends. He was pretty shy and anxious at the beginning, so he sat next to Hoseok and Namjoon because he was most comfortable with them.

He didn't know how the fuck this friend group ended up so damn attractive.

They did little introductions. Jungkook started off. "Hey Yoongi, i'm really excited to meet you! I'm Jungkook, but basically everyone calls me Kook or Kookie and I'm 23, so I'm the youngest. And uh... ooh I'm a streamer! I play a lot of video games!"

"I'm Taehyung, I'm 24. I'm a model. And in my free time...shit I don't know what I do in my free time. I guess I like to play games with Kook a lot in my free time"

"Well. My name is Jimin, I'm 26. I'm a teacher, specifically for those with mental illnesses, and in my free time I like to sing! But you already new that because you already know me!"

"Namjoon obviously. I'm 27, I'm a psychiatrist. In my free time I like to garden. I like bonsai trees a lot. But you also know me so that's not new news"

"My names Seokjin—"

"You can call him Sockjinnie" Jungkook interrupts.

"You rat! I already told you to at least call me Seokjinnie-hyung! Ungrateful brat! Anyways. I'm 28. I'm a cook, though I minored in doctoring. In my free time....yep I also cook in my free time. Now it's your turn!"

Yoongi bit his lip.

"My name is Yoongi. I'm 25. I uh...I don't have a job right now. In my free time I just like learning things."

Hoseok gave him a little nudge on the shoulder, giving him a look that says 'you don't have to tell them right now'

Yoongi takes a deep breath.

"I have DID which is dissociative identity disorder. It means that there are 4 other people living in my body too, who have their own names and personalities and stuff like that. They 'front' which is basically when they enter the body and that means I don't remember things or people sometimes when I meet them if they've been fronting. I met Hoseok, Jimin and Namjoon hyungs at the mental hospital I was in. Please don't think of me any different than anyone else."

He says it all pretty fast, he was really nervous about telling them.

The table stays silent for maybe thirty seconds. "So. You have DID, which means there are 4 different people living in your body, with their own names. If they are in the body then you might forget things, or not remember people right?" Jin says it slowly, reiterating it as he thinks.

"Yeah, that's it"

"And if someone else enters the body, what do we do?" Jin asks.

"You might need to tell them your names again. Then just inform them of what you were talking about, and if they are ready to then they'll engage in the conversation. It's just like having a conversation with another person, it's just that person will also look like me"

"Oh, okay! That's cool hyung—can I call you hyung?—we wouldn't judge you for that! I'm worried that I might do something that could upset you, or one of your...other people? What's the proper term for the other people?" Jungkook says.

"Yes, you can call me hyung. It feels weird hearing someone call me hyung though, after so long of only having older friends. The proper term for the 'other people' is alters." Yoongi smiles.

It really does feel weird that they'd be so accepting of him so quickly. He'd thought they'd make a big deal out of it, like his parents....or the psychologist....or the teachers....or the old hospital

Yoongi pulled himself out of that little spiral he was having. This wasn't about those things. This was about his new life. His new life, with new friends, and a boyfriend who cares about him a lot.

They then focused on the menus. Yoongi wasn't quite sure what he wanted to eat. He never really ate a lot, and he really wasn't picky, so it was often a struggle to decide what he wanted. Not to mention the fact that some of his alters didn't like the same foods he did.

Yoongi went with a chocolate raspberry latte, an English Muffin with with avocado spread on the side and some fresh fruit. 

It was dinner time, but he was kinda feeling a more breakfasty vibe. 

The menus got taken away, and the group of 7 started to have a conversation. The friend group all together seemed pretty chaotic, and Namjoon and Jimin were giving off a very different vibe then the vibes they had at the mental hospital.

They were friends while he was there, but it was also a professional place where Jimin and Namjoon had to work, so they couldn't really act like friends. Here Jimin and Namjoon were throwing friendly insults at their friends and calling each other jagi a good bit. Jin kept calling Jimin a "thirsty rat" and Namjoon kept calling Jimin 'the devil incarnate', and Jimin would throw it back at him with variations of 'you don't seem to have an issue with that when we're alone'. It's amusing because to be honest he always knew Jimin and Namjoon would be that type, but they just couldn't show it.

Before the drinks had even arrived though, he already felt a switch. He'd been more in tune with his alters recently and he could tell that this was Suga switching.

"I-I- 'm switching" he mumbled, he was a little embarrassed to be switching so soon, or that it'd be too freaky for them to deal with so soon. His mumbling was only loud enough for Hoseok and Namjoon to hear so they alerted the rest of the table.

"Yoongi is switching. So he'll space out for a little while and then a new alter will be in his place." Namjoon says, and then he looks down at Yoongi, who's looking at the table but not really seeing the table and swaying a bit.

Like normal it takes about 30 seconds, and then Suga is snapping his head up to look around the table. 

"This is fucking weird. Introducing myself to a new set of people. I'm Suga. I'm 25. And I guess the most important thing you need to know about me is that even if I curse and throw insults at you I don't hate you it's just I'm very bad with expressing emotions. Uh- I know that I'm meeting Hobi-hyungs friends, but I don't know your names." Suga looks down at the table towards the end. He knows that it can't be too much of a bother for them to re-introduce themselves but they'd have to do it another two times and he's sure that would get annoying.

So they ran back through introductions one more time, and they all said that they didn't mind reintroducing themselves.

The food arrived. Suga had no fucking clue what Yoongi ordered but he hoped it was at least decent. He was pretty hungry and he didn't feel like starving.

He eyed the coffee placed in front of him. He doubted it was black, which is what he would've ordered. He picked it up and took a small sip, cringing immediately and placing it back down on the table. Fuck that. Why the hell was it so sweet? It barely tastes like coffee.

"I can see you aren't a big coffee fan" Seokjin laughs, looking at Suga.

"I like black coffee, but that's definitely not black coffee. Its way too sweet"

"Ugh. I can't stand coffee that's flavored and sweetened, and I definitely don't want black coffee. That stuff's nasty" Taehyung says.

"That's only because you're an uncultured pig." Jimin laughs.

Suga had a feeling he'd get along with these people just fine.

January 12th 2019

Today was not a good day. A couple weeks ago, Yoongi decided to apply for a job. It was a a simple job, something that most of his alters should be able to do. He'd applied for a couple in the past, that had been more ambitious and he didn't get those. He felt pretty confident that he would get this one though.

It was very simple. A part time waiter at the restaurant downtown. It was close enough to walk to, and didn't take a whole bunch of extra skills. If he got the job it would be easy enough to write a paper down with instructions that he could use if a new alter fronted, that way they'd still be able to do his work. 

Of course, he didn't get the job. He doesn't know why he was surprised. He should've known that they wouldn't hire someone with a mental illness and a poor record but he still had hope.

He was starting to feel like he maybe couldn't get a job. That maybe no where would actually hire him because it would be such an inconvenience. 

Agust only fronted twice before. It was at the first hospital he was in. So there's not really a record of when he fronted, and nobody who's in his life right now has met him. Only Jimin, Namjoon and Hobi know that Agust exist, and that's because Yoonji had told them.

Agust was a dead alter. It was created after the first and last time the system attempted. Suga had been the one to do it, a bottle of prescription pills and he took a bunch of them. Suga was sick of them all living in the hell that was their home. Yoongi was depressed, he was depressed. He didn't see the point in staying on Earth. A little bit before the pills were going to kick in, Yoonji switched in for the first time ever, bent over the toilet and forced them all out.

They'd passed out, but not died, and Suga vowed to not do it again. He was only 13 at the time.

Agust was the alter formed from that. Though they hadn't died, Agust was the creation of the attempt. He's different. He's mute, but he can hear. He doesn't ever communicate, he just sits around and cries a lot. The other alters tried to talk to him, but he never responds in any way, so they didn't know what to do. 

Agust fronted the first time, because everyone felt hopeless. Yoongi didn't think he belonged in the hospital, and thought he would never get out. Suga felt like it was his fault that they were there in the first place and blamed himself. Yoonji, though usually optimistic, couldn't think of a solution to help. Gloss wasn't there yet.  

Agust fronted the day they didn't get that job. 

It was rough. Hoseok had a hard time communicating with Agust, and Agust didn't really feel like talking. He ended up curling in a ball and crying, and Hoseok could console him because Agust was uncomfortable with Hoseok coming near him. 

That was not a good day.

It in fact, was a very bad day.

"Hey guys! I have a special guest for you here today. No, no it's not Taehyungie-hyung, he's busy. Here with me I have my friend Yoongi-hyung!" Jungkook exclaims to the camera.

Yoongi shyly smiles and waves.

The chat explodes with hi's, heart emoticons, and 'he's cute'.

"Yoongi-hyung has Dissociative Identity Disorder, which is a disorder where he has 4 different people with their own personalities inside his head. They're called alters, and they have their own names. This right here is Yoongi-hyung, but the collective for all of their names is the 'Bangtan System'"

"Due to some personal things, Yoongi-hyung hasn't played a lot of video games, and doesn't really know how to. So I'm starting a new series on my channel every week called 'games with Bangtan' and that'll be me playing with Yoongi hyung and his alters and teaching them how to play!" Jungkook smiles.

The chat is still exploding.

'DID?"

'Personal matters?'

'lol im so confused'

'Hi Yoongi!!!!'

He blushes deeply. He's really nervous, but he doesn't see a lot of negative comments and that makes him feel a little better.

Jungkook said that he wanted some new content, and asked if Yoongi wanted to do it since he's home a lot. Yoongi hadn't been too sure, but he came around to the idea once Jungkook said that his chat was 'very positive and loved everyone he brought on'. Yoongi ran it through with the whole system, and everyone agreed to do it (Agust didn't say anything). So here he was, on a live stream with Jungkook.

He doesn't expect everyone to understand what's happening, but he's glad that the chat is positive. It also helps that there are mods looking for people using rude language to ban.

"Hyung? Do you wanna talk anymore about it? Or do you want to play?" Jungkook asks. He'd told him before hand that Yoongi could share as much or as little as he wanted with the chat.

"Yeah, I just wanted to say that the other alters names are Yoonji, Suga and Gloss. Gloss is 15 and hyper. Yoonji is very chill and she told me not to say her age. Suga is aggressive and he's 25. That's it, you might see some of them."

'Didn't Kook say 4?'

"Uh. Yeah. There are 4 alters, but the last one won't be out, and he didn't answer when I asked if I could mention him, so I won't be talking about him"

Gaming with Kook is going well, it's turned into a weekly thing, and it's really fun. Yoonji kicked his ass at Wii Mario one time, and that was a lot of fun because one of them finally got to win something. Kook showed him virtual reality games, and those were really cool. Gloss had a lot of fun playing the Five Nights at Freddy's series, and Jungkook enjoyed it a lot too. Suga actually found a game series he like too, which is the GTA series, and honestly Yoongi's not surprised that Suga would like a game that involved cursing, shooting, murder and car theft.

Yoongi still hasn't been able to get a job, so he decided to enroll in online college courses. He's currently taking music production, it's something that both he and Suga are really passionate about, so that's what he's been doing in his free time.

He feels a little guilty sometimes, Hoseok is still doing a job and Yoongi kinda feels like a free-loader. Hobi had been sure to tell him he wasn't though, that cuddles and affection and just being there was all that Hobi cared about. It made him feel a little better that Jungkook would give him some of the profits from the 'gaming with Bangtan' series that he was doing.

October 19th 2019

It's his one year anniversary of leaving the hospital. He'd almost finished all his outpatient therapy now, and he was entirely ready to reintegrate back into society.

He completed his college courses on music production, and had started to produce a couple tracks for a few smaller K-pop groups, and he was glad that he was finally making money for himself.

The 'gaming with Bangtan' series is extremely successful on Kook's gaming channel, so that was something he did in his spare time.

The polygamous relationship that Yoongi, Suga and Hobi had going on was going great, and they hadn't had any big fights. Jealousy and insecurity was a small issue in the beginning, but they'd quickly gotten through their issues and worked them out.

There are certain things that Yoongi, and the whole system cannot do. 

South Korean Law states that he cannot drive. 

He can't vote. Legally, he can vote, but voting doesn't work because he really can't vote for everyones benefit because they all have different political beliefs and stuff. Gloss doesn't have any opinions because he's 15 and legally can't vote. But Yoonji, Yoongi and Suga all feel differently. For example. Suga is a communist and Yoongi is a capitalist. 

Parties are fine for Suga and Gloss, Yoongi can tolerate them, but Yoonji absolutely hates them. So she leaves immediately when she fronts during a party.

True Crime Shows are the worst idea to ever exist for them because something about them has a negative trigger for every single one of them.

Sex is a weird thing. Yoongi bottoms and subs for Hoseok, but won't top/dom. Suga power bottoms and tops, but won't sub or dom. Yoonji is a-sexual so if she fronts she's quick to yelp out safe-words for stops. Gloss is a minor, so he fronted once and that was a very bad experience because Gloss knew what was happening and safe-worded. But Hoseok felt really guilty and bad afterword, considering the fact that Gloss technically was not of age, nor were the two dating. It'd been fine later, but there were some rough sexual experiences. So sex was odd.

Religion was also an odd thing. Yoongi is christian. Suga's catholic, Yoonji is a Roman polytheist (which isn't even a practicing religion anymore) and Gloss has no religious beliefs at all. So they don't talk about religion with one an other. They float around at different churches, some weeks Yoongi will attend a christian church with Hoseok, some weeks they go to a catholic church, Yoonji will pray to her gods sometimes on Sundays.

There are other small things that they'd agreed not to do. Like regardless of whether they were partying or not, they could not drink any alcohol or do any drugs. It didn't matter who it was. No hurtful messages about the body, or any of the other alters.

They had to agree not to touch certain closet items. The box on the floor held a lot of Yoonji's clothes which included some more scandalous tops and a few skirts, another box had some light makeup that Yoonji would put on if she wanted too. They absolutely could not touch either of those boxes. Suga had a couple of items he was really partial to and he was not happy if they were moved from where he left them. Gloss just really didn't want anyone touching his Kumamon plushy.

Yoongi and Suga love Hoseok very much, in their own special ways.

As Suga started to live with Hoseok he realized that he was a-romantic. Because he'd never felt "love" before, he was unsure of what it should feel like, but he realized his version of love was more of a strong emotional attachment and sense of trust in Hoseok. He cared about Hoseok, he loved Hobi, even if it was in his own different way. He doesn't use the term "I love you", instead he shows it through his actions. Even though he hates cleaning, when he's home alone he'll clean up the house. Hobi is often busy working, and when he gets home he's really tired and doesn't feel like cleaning, so Suga does it for him. It's hard for him to seek out affection, and when he gets he'll pretend like he didn't want it, even though he really did in the first place. He mainly likes to sit and watch a movie with Hobi, but anything that they do together is good enough for him. He hides his sweeter side with cursing and a domineering personality, but in reality he really just loves to be acknowledged and cared about.

It always depends on the day with Yoongi. Some days, he'll spend it doing little things to make Hoseoks work load lighter. Making the bed, cooking breakfast and lunch for Hobi to take with him, rearranging items and putting them up. Some days, he'll be really soft, murmuring I love you's and peppering his boyfriend with little pecks. He really likes cuddling, and anything that Hoseok can make him do to feel in this weird floating space between subbing and sweetness. Other days it's rough, and he cries because he doesn't feel good enough for his saint of a boyfriend. Hoseok makes him feel better though, and then they cuddle once more.

Hoseok is so sweet to them, he's always around, and he's always promising that he'll never leave them both alone again, and he hasn't. On his free time at work he'll send short messages to them, directed at neither of them because he can't tell who's fronting, but they're always sweet nothings. Sometimes, he wonders what his life would be like if he'd never transferred hospitals, if he never met Yoongi and Suga. He's sure he'd be lonely and apathetic. Maybe he wouldn't even be here, but he didn't like to think of the dark days. Before he'd met his two boyfriends he'd always felt a little alone. Kook had Tae, Jimin had Joonie, Jin had some mystery guy he was talking to. He'd been on dates, but he never connected with anyone. He was motoring on auto-pilot at his old hospital, he didn't have any friends there, and it was hard for him to see any of his other friends because he was never around at the same time as them.

Suga and Yoongi felt like the missing puzzle piece for him. The whole system felt like a missing puzzle piece that finally made him whole. He had something to look forward to when he got home, no longer was there a silent, bare apartment to look at. There was always someone there, and regardless of whether it was Yoongi, Suga, Gloss or Yoonji, he had someone there for him. He had someone who loved him, he had someone who was there to do the little things that never could get done before. He had somebody who didn't care that there were some times when he had to leave on what was supposed to be a free day for them to spend together. 

He loved Yoongi and Suga 

Yoongi and Suga loved him

He had two boyfriends, and two new friends living at home with him, and Hoseok wouldn't trade it for the world.

The Whole Bangtan System was happy to be living with Hoseok, happy that they finally found someone who cared. There were lows and highs, and they'd gone through a lot before they met Hoseok, but they were glad for the new chapter in their lives.

Psychiatric Evaluations from 2015

PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION

Min Yoongi

Admission was involuntary.

History of Present Illness:
Pertinent history in record: Dissociative Identity Disorder

During assessment: Patient describes his mood as depressed, anxious but feeling somewhat hopeful at the new living conditions.

Sleep disturbance: Mild Insomnia
Appetite activity: no change

- Patient self-esteem appears low/fair. Good interpersonal skills.
- Patient exhibits moderate emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
- Patient's general behaviour is cooperative.
- Patient seems to seek a friend, or normal human interactions 
- Has a history of childhood abuse and neglect.
- Patient's activity level, attention and concentration were observed to be within normal limits.
- No change in energy level
- Patient does not report hallucinations, delusions, obsessions or compulsions.

History of outpatient treatment: see patient diagnosis in 2007 and record at previous hospital when patient got diagnosed. Inaccurate diagnosis and Obsolete medical record due to malpractice

Safety concerns:
-History of Violence to Self: previous self-harming actions, previous suicidal thoughts
-History of Violence to Others: repetitive minor fights during school

*Patient previously self-harmed and had suicidal thoughts. Currently denies suicidal and homicidal thoughts, though admits to thoughts of self-harming, denies violent behaviour, denies inappropriate/illegal behaviours.

Trauma history: Patient reported on verbal and physical abuse from his childhood. Emotional abuse caused by his parents, emotional and physical abuse from previous mental hospital.

Prior substance abuse treatment: not reported
Substance use: previous underage misuse of marijuana, alcohol and over-the-counter dopamine. 

Diagnostic Impression: Personal functioning seems normal, lacking in social functioning, requires further education.

PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION

"Yoonji"(age 28)

Admission was involuntary.

History of Present Illness:
Pertinent history in record: Dissociative Identity Disorder

During assessment: Patient describes her mood as optimistic and hopeful for the future of both herself and the whole body.

Sleep disturbance: none
Appetite activity: infrequent and slightly concerning

- Patient self-esteem appears high.
- No report on increased agitation and risk-taking behaviour.
-Patient's activity level is stable.
-Patient's attention and concentration span are high, great at holding long conversations
- Patient does not report hallucinations, delusions, obsessions or compulsions.

History of outpatient treatment: view records at previous hospital- (Obsolete due to improper medical practice)

Safety concerns:
-History of Violence to Self: none reported
-History of Violence to Others: none reported

*Patient currently denies suicidal ideation, denies homicidal ideation, denies violent behaviour, denies inappropriate/illegal behaviours.

Trauma history: Patient reports physical and emotional abuse at her previous mental hospital

Prior substance abuse treatment: not applicable
Substance use: none reported

Diagnostic Impression: Reporting signs of a possible eating disorder bulimia or anorexia (sharing discontent about body, commonly "not hungry", gender dysphoria due to the body's sex). Education is completed.

PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION

"Gloss" (aged 15)

Admission was involuntary.

History of Present Illness:
Pertinent history in record: Dissociative Identity Disorder

During assessment: Patient describes his mood as extremely anxious and nervous. 

Sleep disturbance: Nightmares
Appetite activity: no change

-Patient self-esteem appears low. Poor interpersonal skills.
-Patient exhibits moderate emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
-Patient's general behaviour is cooperative.
-Patient seems to need a friend and a community to belong to
-Patient's activity level is normal
-Attention and concentration were observed to be within normal limits for a person of age 15
-Patient has expressed a willingness to take mistreatment from others
-Patient does not report hallucinations, delusions, obsessions or compulsions.

History of outpatient treatment: see patient record at previous hospital (Obsolute due to medical malpractice)

Safety concerns:
-History of Violence to Self: none reported
-History of Violence to Others: none reported

*Patient previously expressed thoughts of self-harming. Currently denies suicidal and homicidal thoughts, denies violent behaviour, denies inappropriate/illegal behaviours.

Trauma history: Patient reported both emotional and physical abuse at previous hospital.

Prior substance abuse treatment: not reported
Substance use: no reported use of substances

Diagnostic Impression: Personal and social functioning are below normal levels. Requires praise and confirmation of good behaviours. Has separation anxiety. Easily persuaded and too trusting. Needs further education.

PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION

"Suga"

Admission was involuntary

History of Present Illness:
Pertinent history in record: Dissociative Identity Disorder

During assessment: Patient describes their mood as apathetic with bursts of anxiety and depression, guarded and mistrusting of current living situation.

Sleep disturbance: Insomnia and Night Terrors
Appetite activity: no change
Libido disturbance: none

- Patient self-esteem appears moderate.
- Patient has poor social and emotional functioning.
- Patient's general behaviour is guarded and withdrawn.
- Agitation and Aggression are both higher than average. 
-Has a history of childhood abuse and neglect
-Patient is very candid.
- Patient's activity level is stable
- Attention and Concentration levels are both rather detached.
- No change in energy level.
- Patient does not report hallucinations, delusions, obsessions or compulsions.

History of outpatient treatment: see patient record year 2007 when patient got diagnosed and records from previous mental hospital. (Inaccurate diagnosis and Obsolete medical records due to medical malpractice)

Safety concerns:
-History of Violence to Self: Previous self-harming, previous suicide attempt.
-History of Violence to Others: More intense fights during school, showed violent tendencies.

*Patient previously tried to overdose on prescription pills, patient previously self-harmed, patient previously showed violent tendencies. Patient currently denies suicidal and homicidal thoughts. Continues to exhibit violent and inappropriate behaviours.

Trauma history: Patient reported on physical and emotional abuse during childhood and at previous hospital. 

Prior substance abuse treatment: none
Substance use: Underage misuse of alcohol, marijuana, dopamine and over-the-counter pain medicines. Patient previously had a dependence on alcohol.

Diagnostic Impression: Shows symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder? (shifting self-image, impulsive behaviours, self-harm, chronic emptiness, explosive anger)

Current medical diagnosis

Name: Min Yoongi
Age: 25 years old
Date of Birth: March 9th 1993
Gender: Male
Educational Status: Associates degree in music production.
Civil Status: Dating
Ethnicity: Korean
Religion: Multiple
Occupation: Music Production from home
Family: Father, Mother, (2) Brother

Present Illness: Dissociative Identity Disorder
Admission date: May 28th 2014
Currently completing outpatient therapy and discharged from the hospital

Behavioural Observation:
- Four core personalities, five alters in total
- Hearing voices inside his head that are not his own
- Difficulty expressing emotions at some periods
- Lapses in memory (dissociation)
- Sometimes shows distrust and suspicion of others and their motives
- Hesitant to confide in others due to fears of being burdensome

1. Gloss (15 years old)
- Timid personality
- Anxious, nervous, restless
- Trouble being attentive, concentrating and remembering things (normal functioning for a person of fifteen)
- Concerning trusting, naive
- Too sensitive to criticism
- Has separation anxiety, though progressing to get better

2. Yoongi
- Affectionate personality
- Emotionally stable
- Has a perfectionist mindset
- Showed previous self-harming tendencies, but no longer expresses those concerns

3. Yoonji
-Calm Personality
-Emotionally Stable
-Consistently optimistic about the future
-A-romantic and A-sexual, feels "attraction" is a broad term for a feeling that she cannot place
-Previous eating disorder, has been fixed

4. Suga
- Previous impulsive behaviour, though progressing to get better
- Dominating personality
- Previous feelings of antisocial, detached
- Previous chronic feelings of apathy
- Previous Irritability, angry outbursts, aggressive behaviour
-Currently taking mild anti-depressants for depressive thoughts
-Previous struggles with expressing positive emotions, and incapability to process emotions though progressing to get better
-A-romantic, has realized his version of love is more of an emotional attachment and sense of trust rather than the conventional sense of love.