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There are many things changing in your life. Big changes that turn your world upside down and small, barely noticeable yet so special they send small jolts straight to your heart whenever they happen.
It’s there in the one, two, three seconds when he lets his fingers linger a bit longer as they brush against your arm. And four, five, six when he hides his face on your shoulder, his pink-dust cheeks stand out against his snow white hair as he mumbles out his embarrassment after yet another one of your silly teases. You would only laugh at him in return, but what he doesn’t know is you are thanking whatever god you can recall for another chance to have him close to you.
In the way he rolls your name on his tongue; you never thought how two syllables can sound just so perfect out of someone’s lips. And you’ve heard it a thousand, a hundred thousand times in all different and very much the same tone so you can tell when he starts saying your name in such way that makes your heart sings his.
In the impossibly smaller distance he tries to keep whenever he whisper to your ear, his grip on your shoulder a proof of how hard he tries to keep just that. And then you’d pull him in and close the distance altogether –despite his hushed protests of your name– wondering how someone who looks so cold can feel so warm.
Slipping beneath the cracks of his fingers before they melded into yours, what once was an act of sharing heat and friendship now turning into something akin to fear of rejection and ‘please please please don’t ever leave' and so much more screaming in the way he grasp your hand; never too tight as if he's testing if you would let go, if you would give up on him, and yet still desperately wishes you wouldn't. And you would answer him by clutching his hand back, silently wishing he can hear you vowing yourself to him over and over again.
In the reason behind the flush of your cheeks and the rise of your heartbeat. How the thoughts of just holding his hand used to be able to send your heart racing and mind whirling and now you wouldn’t –couldn’t settle for anything less than passionate kisses and maybe a little more skin and needy hands crawling your body.
Clear in the reflection on his ashen gray eyes whenever they land on yours. Those eyes used to be filled with timid adoration coupled with a small dash of loneliness but now they shine brighter with fondness and love and longing and oh, is that lust burning behind them?
..and you would be lying if you say they didn’t mirror yours.
And there are still hundreds other things from your new found quirk of borrowing his book and ‘accidentally’ forgetting to put them back just so you can hear him scolding you with that adorable pout on his lips to how you think –no, you know you sleep better now with the thought that he’s no longer running away and will always be within your reach. But you stop your train of thoughts and let your gaze almost automatically fall to the person sleeping soundly on your chest, smiling at one of the big changes in your life that is inviting him to live with you.
He too, of course, had changed over the years. Tragedies after tragedies had shaped the two of you and your relationship along into nothing you’ve ever imagined. And while one can easily say he is now a completely different person, deep down inside you know that he is still the same old (and possibly even more fragile) Kaneki Ken you befriended a long, long time ago.
And you, Nagachika Hideyoshi; his self-proclaimed knight in shining armor who promised to always find a way to save him no matter what, wouldn’t have it any other way.