Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

1:00 AM

jesper fahey: GUYS HELP

matthias helvar: jesper it’s one in the morning, i'm trying to sleep. what happened?

jesper fahey: MATTHIAS STOP WITH YOUR OMINOUS PUNCTUATION THIS IS IMPORTANT 

nina zenik: what’s wrong honey

inej ghafa: ^^ 

jesper fahey: MY DAD IS COMING TO VISIT AND HE LITERALLY THINKS IM STILL AN AGRICULTURE MAJOR 

nina zenik: LMAOOOOOOO

jesper fahey: NINA THIS IS NOT FUNNY DON’T LAUGH

wylan van eck: you were an agricultural major at one point?? 

jesper fahey: only for like a month freshman year, but im too sexy for farming it wasn’t going to work out

nina zenik: too sexy for farming????? your dad’s a farmer??? 

jesper fahey: and?????? 

nina zenik: i mean....

inej ghafa: nina oh my god i thought you only talked about this once because you were drunk???

jesper fahey: i’m not following????

matthias helvar: nina dear please explain yourself. 

nina zenik: colm is a dilf. there i said it. 

jesper fahey: NINA I’M LITERALLY BLOCKING YOU RIGHT NOW. 

nina zenik: it had to be said 

matthias helvar: did it? 

jesper fahey: EVERYONE STOP IT WITH THIS MADNESS AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME IM FREAKING OUT. do i just lie to him????? surely there’s no way for him to even find out

inej ghafa: i think you should just be honest with him jes. i’m sure he’ll understand 

matthias helvar: i agree with inej

nina zenik: same, i know it’s hard but your dad loves you <33 he’ll understand! 

jesper fahey: i guess you guys are right, i just don't want him to be disappointed in me :( i’m basically setting myself up for failure with a theatre major already

wylan van eck: i don't think you’re a failure jes you’re great at acting 

jesper fahey: omg blushing rn, keep complimenting me like that and you’re going to get what u want

wylan van eck: shut up

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

1:10 AM

nina zenik: flirt back!!!! 

wylan van eck: nina no

nina zenik: why not???? :(

wylan van eck: jes flirts with everyone im not going to take it personally

nina zenik: wyyyyy :( he likes you! (read at 1:10 AM) 

[six hot people]

1:11 AM

inej ghafa: we’ll help you figure it out tomorrow jes! try to get some sleep for now, everything is going to be fine 

nina zenik: ^^ we’re here for you!! 

matthias helvar: yes, jesper. don’t worry about it too much. 

jesper fahey: omg thanks matty 😩

nina zenik: matty lmaoooooo

matthias helvar: i hate you people. 

kaz brekker: all of you. shut the fuck up. 

nina zenik: omg kaz were we interrupting you listening to late night emo music? 

jesper fahey: omg heyyyy kaz 

inej ghafa: sorry kaz! were you trying to sleep? 

kaz brekker: it’s okay, inej, you didn’t wake me up 

nina zenik: omg when he’s mean to everyone except his girl

kaz brekker: i can end all of your lives in five minutes. shut up and go to bed. 

jesper fahey: yes sir 

nina zenik: goodnight my loves!! xo

inej ghafa: gn!! :) 

matthias helvar: goodnight. 

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

1:20 AM

jesper fahey: where’s my goodnight???? 

wylan van eck: goodnight jes 

jesper fahey: ;) 

[six hot people] 

12:15 PM

nina zenik: nikolai lantsov is having a party at his place tonight, we in? 

jesper fahey: YES 

inej ghafa: sure! 

matthias helvar: fine, as long as you’re going nina

jesper fahey:  *cough cough* simp

inej ghafa: don’t be mean!

wylan van eck: i’m down

kaz brekker: only if lanstov’s brother is there. he’s awful at betting on basketball matches and i always win his pool of cash. 

nina zenik: kaz omg poor vasily 

jesper fahey: it’s okay the lanstovs are rich rich, they’ll be fine 

nina zenik: true 

wylan van eck: who’s going to drive? 

matthias helvar: i can. 

inej ghafa: thanks matthias! 

jesper fahey: omg matty my fave designated driver. 

matthias helvar: don’t call me matty. 

jesper fahey: sorry. MATTHIAS HELVAR. you’re my favorite designated driver. 

matthias helvar: thank you. 

wylan van eck: should we all meet at nina and inej’s dorm? 

inej ghafa: works for me! 

nina zenik: me too! 

matthias helvar: why don’t we ever meet at my dorm? or wylan and jesper’s? 

nina zenik: matthias honey your roommate is a little...polarizing 

matthias helvar: what’s wrong with jarl? 

jesper fahey: well his NAME for starters. who tf names their kid JARL???? 

wylan van eck: he used to talk so much shit to me freshman year in bio :/ 

nina zenik: wy!! why didn’t you say anything??? 

inej ghafa: ^^ we would have totally talked to him. or fought him. 

jesper fahey: maybe we should meet at matthias' dorm, i have a fight to start now. 

wylan van eck: thank you guys but it’s fine. me and kaz sorted it out with him 

nina zenik: omg i’ve got to hear this, what did u guys do??? 

kaz brekker: what had to be done. 

wylan van eck: kaz threatened to get him kicked out of the university lol

inej ghafa: and...

wylan van eck: and he “accidentally” hit him with his cane under our desks repeatedly. 

nina zenik: PLZ LMAOOOOOOO

inej ghafa: kaz that was unnecessary but i’m glad jarl doesn’t bother you anymore wy!! 

jesper fahey: same, still might fight him though 

wylan van eck: jesper it’s okay 

matthias helvar: why am i just hearing of all this now? i’m going to have a chat with him when he comes back from his lecture. 

nina zenik: okay so now that we're settled! meet at me and inej's room @ 8:30? 

matthias helvar: yes dear 

wylan van eck: see you there! 

jesper fahey: i'll be there in my best plaid

inej ghafa: jesper omg

kaz brekker: ok. everyone venmo me for drinks.

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

1:30 PM

nina zenik: wear your collared sweater tonight, jesper loves that one:) 

wylan van eck: nina. 

nina zenik: wylan! 

wylan van eck: fine. 

nina zenik: :) 

[besties from the barrel]

jesper fahey: INEJ SHOULD I WEAR THAT PLAID SWEATER VEST??? 

inej ghafa: sure! isn’t that the one wylan complimented you on the other day? 

jesper fahey: yes. 

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

8:45 PM

kaz brekker: jesper hurry up. 

jesper fahey: me and wylan are coming together, why do you assume i’m the late one 😩

nina zenik: jes you’re always late❤️

jesper fahey: WAS THAT HEART SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT BETTER LMAOO

nina zenik: yes.❤️

inej ghafa: no rush you guys, matthias isn’t at our dorm yet either

matthias helvar: i’m on my way now. just finished talking to jarl. 

jesper fahey: OMG DRAMA WHAT HAPPENED???

matthias helvar: i’m requesting a roommate change. obviously his views do not align with mine anymore. he will not bother you anymore wylan. 

nina zenik: MATTHIAS HELVAR I LOVE YOU 

wylan van eck: wow, thanks matthias you didn’t have to do that 

jesper fahey: we’ll be there in 5 minutes!! get ready for the hottest people ever to grace your dorm 

nina zenik: inej and i are already here ;) 

inej ghafa: lol 

jesper fahey: wb kaz???

nina zenik: let me fix his hair and we’ll see 

kaz brekker: my hair is fine. 

[six hot people]

9:00 PM

jesper fahey: we’re here! 

[six hot people]

10:00 PM 

inej ghafa: has anyone seen nina? she left her phone with me while she played beer pong and now i can’t find her

matthias helvar: no worries she’s with me inej 

jesper fahey: are you guysh hooiking up lmoa

inej ghafa: jesper are you drunk 

jesper fahey: HEY im perfectly chill  

matthias helvar: drink one glass of water every time you drink one beer or the equivalent alcohol concentration, jesper 

jesper fahey: OKAYY mathematic king matty 

matthias helvar: im letting that slide because you’re drunk. 

inej ghafa: wylan and i are going outside to get some fresh air, anyone want to join? 

matthias helvar: nina says maybe later 

kaz brekker: not right now, i'm about to con vasily lantsov out of $300 

matthias helvar: okayyy king will you buy us all waffles if you win -nina 

kaz brekker: no

inej ghafa: waffles actually sound pretty good right now lol

kaz brekker: ok maybe. 

jesper fahey: i’m going to play one more round of beer pong with kuwei then i’ll come outside 

wylan van eck: oh 

wylan van eck: okay

wylan van eck: i'll let you know if we’re still out here. 

[besties from the barrel]

10:30 PM

inej ghafa: jesper what are you doing?

inej ghafa: come outside and hang out with me and wylan right now. 

jesper fahey: omg bff why so aggressive

inej ghafa: 🙄

inej ghafa: everyday you wake up and chose to embrace your gemini sun

jesper fahey: idk what that means my dearest astrology queen

inej ghafa: you’re too flirty for your own good jes

inej ghafa: wylan is never going to believe you like him back if you keep mentioning other people you’re flirting with 

jesper fahey: inej my girl wylan doesn’t like me in that way😩😩 RIP wesper 

inej ghafa: you are both hopeless.

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

10:35 PM

jesper fahey: that sweater looks good on you :) 

wylan van eck: thanks 

jesper fahey: also kuwei sucks at beer pong lol

jesper fahey: and that’s annoying

wylan van eck: okay lol 

[besties from the barrel]

10:40 PM

inej ghafa: jesper wtf 

jesper fahey: what ever do you mean

inej ghafa: i thought you were supposed to be good at flirting 

jesper fahey: WHY ARE YOU STALKING ME DID YOU HACK MY PHONE

jesper fahey: also i wasn’t flirting with wylan

inej ghafa: who said anything about wylan 

jesper fahey: not you being a manipulator 

inej ghafa: lol 

inej ghafa: remember me and wylan are outside together so i can hear his text to speech translator duh 

jesper fahey: oh right 

jesper fahey: well good thing i wasn’t flirting with him 

inej ghafa: idiot 

[six hot people]

12:00 AM 

nina zenik: are we all ready to head home? 

nina zenik: just met up with inej and got my phone back 

jesper fahey: ye i’m tired asf

wylan van eck: me too

kaz brekker: give me fifteen minutes. vasily is making a fuss about me winning all his money. 

nina zenik: omg the girls are fighting 

jesper fahey: get em bestie

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

12:02 AM

inej ghafa: please be careful 

inej ghafa: the lantsovs are very powerful i don’t want you getting into any trouble with them

kaz brekker: i’m always careful 

inej ghafa: i know 

inej ghafa: just 

inej ghafa: stay safe please 

kaz brekker: i will 

[six hot people]

12:05 AM 

jesper fahey: OMG WHO PLAYED ABBA 

jesper fahey: STOP THIS IS PERFECT 

jesper fahey: WE CAN’T LEAVE YET NINA COME DANCE WITH ME RN

nina zenik: OMW BESTIE 

jesper fahey: money money money is on omggggg 

nina zenik: ahhh ur fave!!! be there in 3 seconds just giving my phone to matthias!! 

inej ghafa: matthias and i are going to get everyone waffles until you’re ready have fun! 

nina zenik: 😘 LOVE YOU GUYS 

[six hot people]

1:00 AM 

nina zenik: best nite ofg myb ligfe besties omg 

jesper fahey: DSME sjdjdjjemfkfmfemnf

[six hot people]

10:00 AM

nina zenik: i’m never drinking again. 

jesper fahey: ^^

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

12:00 PM

inej ghafa: good morning everyone, how are you feeling? 

jesper fahey: inej it’s too early 

inej ghafa: i specifically waited until noon to text so you could sleep in! 

nina zenik: good morning inej my love. my head hurts <333

nina zenik: but matthias is such a sweetie he’s taking care of me🥰

inej ghafa: so THAT’S where you went after we got back to campus 

nina zenik: he’s very warm, sleeping next to him is like sleeping with a human blanket :)

jesper fahey: oh BARF 

nina zenik: you’re just jealous because nobody is bringing YOU advil 

wylan van eck: i’m at target right now, anyone need anything? 

jesper fahey: wyd at target??? and why didn’t you bring me??? i thought you left for a study group or something 

wylan van eck: i thought i’d let you sleep

wylan van eck: i’m buying you advil and some pedialyte for your hangover 

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

12:02 PM

nina zenik: AWWWW

wylan van eck: shut up 

[besties from the barrel] 

12:03 PM

inej ghafa: ”wylan doesn’t like me like that” smh

jesper fahey: he’s just being nice! 

inej ghafa: ugh, men, so stupid 

jesper fahey: HEY!

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

12:10 PM

wylan van eck: about to check out, need anything else? 

jesper fahey: you

jesper fahey: SORRY UM

jesper fahey: NO THAT’S IT 

jesper fahey: HAHA THAT WAS A TYPO 

wylan van eck: okay lol

wylan van eck: wanna watch a movie when i get back? 

jesper fahey: YES 

jesper fahey: WHICH ONE

wylan van eck: the social network?? 

jesper fahey: yeah but my prada’s at the cleaners 

wylan van eck: HAHA

[six hot people]

12:30 PM

nina zenik: anyone want to get brunch with me and matthias later??

jesper fahey: sorry, wylan and i are about to watch eduardo’s shares dilute to 0.03% :(

nina zenik: cute 

kaz brekker: i’m busy. 

inej ghafa: sure! 

kaz brekker: my schedule has cleared up. what time? 

nina zenik: 2? 

inej ghafa: works for me! 

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

1:30 PM

kaz brekker: want a ride? 

inej ghafa: sure:) 

[colm fahey & jesper fahey] 

2:00 PM

colm fahey: Hi son! How are you?😁

jesper fahey: hi da! im good 

colm fahey: Good! I’m excited to come visit you next week! 

jesper fahey: me too :) 

colm fahey: Shall I come around 1 PM on Saturday? 

jesper fahey: perfect 

colm fahey: Great! See you soon! And tell your friends I say hello! 

[six hot people]

2:05 PM

jesper fahey: MY DAD IS COMING ON SATURDAY

jesper fahey: FUCK YOU GUYS WHAT AM I GOING TO DO 

jesper fahey: JWFEIFHUWHEFIUQRHFUQREJ

nina zenik: jes breathe, it’s gonna be okay 

nina zenik: also, colm🤤

jesper fahey: NINA STOP THIS MADNESS 

jesper fahey: I’M A FAILURE AND HE’S REALLY ABOUT TO FIND OUT😃😃😃😃

wylan van eck: jesper stop calling yourself a failure 

wylan van eck: you’re not 

inej ghafa: everything is going to work out jes, just be honest with him!

[jesper fahey & kaz brekker]

2:10 PM

jesper fahey: kaz can you forge me a degree in agricultural studies

kaz brekker: can you name one kind of wheat? 

jesper fahey: um. 

kaz brekker: no. 

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

3:00 PM

wylan van eck: you fell asleep a little halfway through the movie :)

wylan van eck: i’m going to meet alys for lunch, water and advil are on the counter

wylan van eck: also we’re going to cheesecake factory. i don’t understand why you and alys are so obsessed with it.

wylan van eck: anyway, i'll bring you back a piece of that cheesecake you like. 

wylan van eck: and STOP STRESSING ABOUT YOUR DAD! tell him the truth. he loves you no matter what

wylan van eck: anyway

wylan van eck: bye 

[besties from the barrel] 

3:01 PM

jesper fahey: you were right 

inej ghafa: i always am. something about wylan speed walking over to target to cure your hangover 

inej ghafa: so cute 

jesper fahey: no inej 

jesper fahey: you were right about ME

inej ghafa: aw jes🥺

Chapter Text

[alys van eck & wylan van eck] 

3:00 PM

alys van eck: i’m leaving to pick you up in 5 minutes :)

wylan van eck: see you soon!

alys van eck: also i have something important to tell you

wylan van eck: is everything okay? 

alys van eck: of course!

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

4:30 PM

wylan van eck: i’m omw back with your cheesecake 

wylan van eck: also alys is pregnant and divorcing my joke of a dad😩

jesper fahey: WYLAN

jesper fahey: OMFG 

jesper fahey: ARE YOU SERIOUS 

jesper fahey: ANSWER ME OMFG 

jesper fahey: FIRST OF ALL 

jesper fahey: SHE’S PREGNANT THAT WOULD BE SO MUCH CUTER IF YOUR UGLY ASS DAD WASN’T THE FATHER

jesper fahey:  HE IS THE FATHER RIGHT???

jesper fahey: BUT OMG GOOD FOR HER 

jesper fahey: TAKE HIS MONEY 

jesper fahey: GOOD FOR ALYS 

wylan van eck: are you done? 

jesper fahey: for now 

wylan van eck: i feel so awful 

wylan van eck: she always wanted a kid but i think she just wishes it was with someone else :( 

jesper fahey: poor girl :((((

wylan van eck: right? 

wylan van eck: anyway we’ll talk more when i get home 

jesper fahey: see u soon 

[six hot people] 

5:00 PM

jesper fahey: wyd when ur roommate claims he’s bringing you desert and then eats half of it on the way home? 

nina zenik: STOP that’s so disrespectful 

nina zenik: inej plz tell me you’d never do that to me

inej ghafa: never :) 

wylan van eck: jesper are you actually subtweeting me in a group chat right now 

wylan van eck: i’m literally sitting right next to you 

jesper fahey: it had to be done you betrayed me

nina zenik: my fave drama queen <33 

kaz brekker: do you people never shut up. i have an economics test tomorrow. 

nina zenik: not the capitalist having something to say about our texting 

jesper fahey: omg yes king learn about that supply and demand😫

kaz brekker: the opportunity cost of blocking you all is looking pretty good right now. 

inej ghafa: good luck on the test kaz! 

kaz brekker: thank you, inej 

nina zenik: modern romance omg 

(kaz brekker removed nina zenik from the chat)

jesper fahey: LMAOOOOOOOO

inej ghafa: kaz! don’t be mean

kaz brekker: sorry. 

(matthias helvar added nina zenik to the chat) 

matthias helvar: don’t do that again kaz. 

matthias helvar: it is disrespectful. 

jesper fahey: yessss defend your girl matty 

kaz brekker: jesper you’re really bold for someone who is on thin ice everyday of his life. 

wylan van eck: HAHAHAHA

nina zenik: kaz your hair is on thin ice. let’s have that conversation bestie 

kaz brekker: you’re not my “bestie” 

nina zenik: okay then who is? 

kaz brekker: profit. 

nina zenik: PLZ I’M DONE WITH YOUR MELODRAMATIC ASS

inej ghafa: enough fighting everyone

inej ghafa: we’re getting dinner tonight right? 

jesper fahey: yesssss

wylan van eck: down 

matthias helvar: please no cheesecake factory. that restaurant is vile. 

matthias helvar: their menu is too big to be ethical. 

nina zenik: yeah but their cheesecake is better than sex 

jesper fahey: MATTHIAS GET OWNED OMFG HAHAHAHAHA

kaz brekker: we are going to Mama D’s across the street from campus. the spaghetti place. 

inej ghafa: that’s my favorite restaurant omg 

kaz brekker: i made a reservation for 6:00 PM. 

kaz brekker: wylan make sure jesper is on time.

wylan van eck: yes sir 

jesper fahey: kaz do you enjoy making a career out of slandering me🤨

kaz brekker: you make it very easy. 

nina zenik: GOOBYE KAZ YOU’RE SO MEAN AND FOR WHAT LMAOOOO

[besties from the barrel] 

6:30 PM

inej ghafa: jesper are you kicking wylan’s ankles under the table???

jesper fahey: no 

jesper fahey: put your phone away inej we’re eating a nice meal. have some manners 

inej ghafa: stfu lol

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

6:31 PM

nina zenik: is jesper kicking your ankles under the table??? ;)))) 

wylan van eck: no 

wylan van eck: put ur phone away we’re at a restaurant 

nina zenik: you sound more and more like this mf everyday literally kiss and call it a day (read at 6:31 PM)

[six hot people]

8:00 PM 

nina zenik: fun night everyone💞

inej ghafa: ^^ :) 

nina zenik: also

nina zenik: taylor keeps hinting at a new album so i’m assigning you all a song of hers that represents you

nina zenik: you’re legally obligated to listen 

matthias helvar: who is taylor? 

jesper fahey:  STOP.

jesper fahey: DID HE JUST??? 

jesper fahey: NINA BREAK UP WITH HIM RN 

inej ghafa: taylor swift! @matthias

matthias helvar: oh, her. she is pretty.

nina zenik: 🤨🤨

matthias helvar: not as pretty as you dear. 

nina zenik: okay ANYWAY 

nina zenik: kaz go listen to the entire reputation album 

nina zenik: you wake up every morning and embody it

kaz brekker: no. 

inej ghafa: kaz you should give it a listen, you might like it!

kaz brekker: maybe. 

jesper fahey: what about the rest of us? 

nina zenik: oh idk honestly 

nina zenik: i just wanted to make fun of kaz

[nina zenik & wylan van eck] 

10:00 PM

wylan van eck: just cried to mirrorball for 2 hours dhmu. 

nina zenik: OMG PLZ 

Chapter Text

[six hot people] 

8:00 AM

jesper fahey: HAPPY SATURDAY I’M FREAKING OUT 

kaz brekker: jesus christ jesper it’s 8 AM on a saturday. what. 

jesper fahey:  COLM IS COMING TODAY. MR. FAHEY. MY FATHER. MAN OF THE HOUR. 

nina zenik: **dilf 

jesper fahey: I AM SO CLOSE TO BLOCKING YOU MISS ZENIK.

inej ghafa: has he asked you about school at all yet?

jesper fahey: not really, just said that he’s excited to see all the new things i’ve learned.

jesper fahey: the worst part is that he’s so genuine about it like colm i’m sorry bsf idk shit about planting cycles 

matthias helvar: did you just refer to your dad as bsf? 

jesper fahey: yeah??

kaz brekker: lying never works. 

nina zenik: THATS RICH COMING FROM YOU KAZZLE DAZZLE 

kaz brekker: call me that again and i will dox you. 

kaz brekker: also lying only works for me because i’m smart. 

nina zenik: intj bitch. 

jesper fahey: OKAY PAY ATTENTION TO ME AGAIN 

jesper fahey: HOW DO I BREAK THE NEWS TO HIM

matthias helvar: take him out for some coffee. be serious and solemn. no jokes, jesper. he will understand because he is your father who loves and cares for you. 

inej ghafa: wow that’s actually really good advice matthias! 

nina zenik: ur so intuitive love :) 

jesper fahey: matty my boy you always carry my mental stability on your back

nina zenik: wylannn where are you??? 

jesper fahey: he’s sleeping 

jesper fahey: had a very long night

jesper fahey: the alys stuff is getting to him, feels like he should be around more

inej ghafa: :( he is around! 

nina zenik: ^^ 

kaz brekker: tell wylan that as long as alimony exists, alys will be just fine.

nina zenik: here comes the mf boss baby again. does your mind think about anything but money 

kaz brekker: no 

inej ghafa: hahaha! 

kaz brekker: actually...

kaz brekker: nvm 

jesper fahey: well anyway 

jesper fahey: if this horrid attempt at flirting is done

jesper fahey: i’m going to get ready to meet colm 

nina zenik: do we get to see him while he’s here? 

wylan van eck: wouldn’t you like to know nina? ;) 

inej ghafa: wylan omfg lmao good morning 

nina zenik: WYLAN PLZ 

nina zenik: I HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG ABOUT A DILF BEFORE. 

matthias helvar: what is a dilf? 

jesper fahey: jesus christ. 

inej ghafa: well....

matthias helvar: just looked it up. nina dear are you trying to subtly break up with me? i am too young to be a dad. 

nina zenik: OMG HONEY NO I PROMISE 

nina zenik: IT’S A JOKE! 

jesper fahey: THIS HAS GOTTEN TOO WEIRD EVEN FOR ME. I’M OUT.

inej ghafa: good luck jes! 

nina zenik: xoxo

kaz brekker: good luck. 

[colm fahey & jesper fahey]

9:30 AM

colm fahey: Hi son! The plane will be landing in fifteen minutes. 

colm fahey: Could you still pick me up from the airport? Or do you have a lecture?

colm fahey: I don’t want you to miss it! 

jesper fahey: i can pick you up da! no classes today

colm fahey: Great! See you soon✈️😁👨🌾

[six hot people]

9:35 AM

jesper fahey: DA FIGURED OUT EMOJIS LMAOOOO BYE 

(screenshot png.)

colm fahey: Great! See you soon✈️😁👨🌾

nina zenik: HAHAHHAAHAHHAA. 

nina zenik: why isn’t the farmer a ginger? :( 

inej ghafa: i’m not sure that’s an available one? 

nina zenik: how rude. colm deserves to feel represented

jesper fahey: okay GOODBYE again. 

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

10:30 AM

jesper fahey: on my way to the airport, are you up? 

wylan van eck: yeah, just got up a little bit ago. what’s up? 

jesper fahey: could i um-

jesper fahey: sorry 

jesper fahey: can i call you for a sec 

jesper fahey: i’m like

jesper fahey: really nervous

wylan van eck: of course jes 

(incoming call from wylan van eck)

10:35 AM

hey jes

hey

is everything okay? 

yeah. yeah, i’m just-

nervous? 

yeah, very.

i'm used to being prone to fuck ups but this feels like...different. 

i don’t know.

i don’t like disappointing my dad. he does enough for me already. 

i don’t think your dad could possibly be disappointed in you, jes. he thinks you’re incredible. 

that’s the problem, i guess. he thinks i’m a shit load greater than i actually am. 

i just didn’t expect to have to confront that lie so soon.

...

don’t say things like that. 

like what? 

you’re not a disappointment or a failure at all. 

your dad isn’t stupid. 

he sees you  exactly for who you are. 

just breathe. everything is going to work itself out. 

i-

are you trying to compliment me?

i’m about to text you a lip bite emoji honestly. 

jesper be serious for three seconds, will you? 

i promise everything is going to be fine. talk to your dad calmly like matthias said.

and if it all falls to shit, i'll be in the dorm with snacks. 

...

you’re a genius wylan. 

well i don’t know about that 

oh god no. only one of us gets to be self-deprecating today. i called dibs. 

anyway, thanks for calling. it really helped 

drive safely please 

i will

love you 

i mean

oh fuck 

um

(jesper fahey has disconnected the call)

[besties from the barrel]

10:45 AM

jesper fahey: INEJ 

jesper fahey: INEJ 

jesper fahey: INEJ 

jesper fahey: INEJ 

jesper fahey: INEJ 

jesper fahey: INEJ 

inej ghafa: omg what’s wrong is everyone okay? 

inej ghafa: sorry kaz and i are getting coffee, i didn’t see your texts

jesper fahey: I’M THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN THE WORLD.

inej ghafa: kaz is making me ask “what else is new?” 

inej ghafa: but that’s rude. 

inej ghafa: what happened? 

jesper fahey: ladies is it sus if you call your roommate on the phone for moral support and then accidentally end the call by saying i love you????

inej ghafa: YOU DID NOT. 

jesper fahey: I DID😃🤚

inej ghafa: yay!!!!

jesper fahey: NO INEJ NOT YAY

jesper fahey: THIS IS AWFUL 

inej ghafa: i’m smiling too big to entertain how wrong you are 

[nina zenik & wylan van eck] 

11:00 AM

wylan van eck: has matthias ever called you and then accidentally said i love you????

wylan van eck: and then hung up?????

nina zenik: oh. my. god. 

[baddest bitches alive] 

11:15 AM

nina zenik: i think it’s time we combine our genius for good beautiful inej <333

inej ghafa: i was just thinking the same thing :) 

nina zenik: operation wesper is a go. 

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

3:00 PM

jesper fahey: hi 

jesper fahey: colm wants to meet you guys

jesper fahey: he said he’ll buy everyone dinner🤤

matthias helvar: that is very kind of him, tell him i say thank you sir. 

jesper fahey: formal king matty 

matthias helvar: what did i say about that nickname?

inej ghafa: thanks jes+colm!!!! 

inej ghafa: also nina is sitting next to me...literally blushing at the gc

jesper fahey: oh dear god 

wylan van eck: blushing at what???

nina zenik: nothing....

jesper fahey: nina i can't take this rn 

jesper fahey: anyway does around 6 PM work for everyone? 

jesper fahey: we’re going to cheesecake factory ;) 

wylan van eck: christ i just went there with alys 

nina zenik: u can never have too much cheesecake factory 

matthias helvar: i think you can dear 

nina zenik: breaking up with u rn 

matthias helvar: what! no nina honey i was kidding 

wylan van eck: i think we all need to start putting tone indicators on our texts or something tbh

inej ghafa: 6 is good for me!! 

wylan van eck: ^^

matthias helvar:  me too 

nina zenik: samesies 

jesper fahey: kaz? 

nina zenik: helloooo boss baby? 

inej ghafa: kaz! 

kaz brekker: yes 6 works.

nina zenik: are the rest of us fake to u mf 

inej ghafa: i think he just only has notifs on his phone for me so he didn’t see ur texts? 

jesper fahey:  YOOOOOO

matthias helvar: that’s sweet. 

kaz brekker: everyone shut up i have a test in five minutes. 

[baddest bitches alive]

4:00 PM

nina zenik: alright so what’s the plan?? 

nina zenik: for getting wylan and jesper to become bfs😘

inej ghafa: lol

inej ghafa: i think i could talk to jesper 

inej ghafa: the real problem is that i don’t think either of them thinks it’s possible that the other likes them

inej ghafa: and there’s so many mixed signals because jes masks his insecurity with false confidence and wylan masks his with deflection

inej ghafa: so they never think the other is serious

nina zenik: inej i knew that psych major was good for something

nina zenik: i agree 

nina zenik: i’ll talk to wylan later tonight and see what i can do. 

nina zenik: matthias has some surprisingly good advice to give sometimes so maybe i’ll see what he thinks too 

inej ghafa: perfect 

inej ghafa: i’d say i’d ask kaz for advice but he’s...

inej ghafa: not really the most helpful in that area sometimes 

nina zenik: SPEAKING OF U AND KAZ 

nina zenik: ;))))

inej ghafa: oh nothing’s happening with that

nina zenik: INEJ GHAFA. 

nina zenik: I THOUGHT U NEVER LIED TO ME BFF 

inej ghafa: no i’m serious 

inej ghafa: i know he probably enjoys my company 

inej ghafa: and i enjoy his 

inej ghafa: a lot 

nina zenik: MY HEART IS MELTING 

inej ghafa: but it’s really hard for him

inej ghafa: with everything he’s been through 

inej ghafa: so i don’t want to push 

nina zenik: oh i understand that <3 

nina zenik: well i’m pretty sure he’s in love with u

nina zenik: if that’s any consolation 

inej ghafa: honestly i’m still deciding if it is 

inej ghafa:  but enough about me

inej ghafa: operation wesper is a go, yes? 

nina zenik: ABSOLUTELY 

[the one with the brain cells and jesper]

4:30 PM

wylan van eck: will you be at our dorm at all today? 

wylan van eck: just wondering if i should clean up for colm

wylan van eck: you didn’t make your bed this morning🤨

jesper fahey: oh

jesper fahey: yeah in a little bit 

jesper fahey: but my dad is running some errands in the city 

jesper fahey: so it’ll be just me 

jesper fahey: don’t worry about cleaning 

wylan van eck: i don’t mind 

wylan van eck: also i already did it lol

jesper fahey: oh 

jesper fahey: thanks wy

wylan van eck: no worries 

[besties from the barrel]

4:35 PM

jesper fahey: inej 

inej ghafa: yes jes? 

jesper fahey: i’m being an idiot

inej ghafa: elaborate please

jesper fahey: wylan just said he cleaned our dorm 

jesper fahey: because he thought my dad was stopping by 

jesper fahey: and i just said thanks

jesper fahey: no enthusiasm 

jesper fahey: no exclamation points 

jesper fahey: nothing 

inej ghafa: thats...a bit out of character

jesper fahey: I KNOW 

jesper fahey: i’m still tripping out over that phone call 

inej ghafa: jesper 

inej ghafa: why 

jesper fahey: i don't know 

jesper fahey: i didn't want it to happen like THAT 

inej ghafa: so you did mean it, then? 

jesper fahey: inej 

jesper fahey: of course i did 

jesper fahey: i love him so much 

jesper fahey: i don't even know what to do with myself 

inej ghafa: jesper

inej ghafa: you’re halfway there then! 

jesper fahey: i guess

jesper fahey: but it’s very possible he doesn’t like me like that 

jesper fahey: at all 

jesper fahey: and i’m not ready to lose him as a friend 

inej ghafa: i understand 

inej ghafa: i really do 

inej ghafa: but won’t you suffer more not knowing? 

jesper fahey: sorry bye da’s back from his errand🤪🤪

jesper fahey: see u at 6 

inej ghafa: jesper llewellyn fahey 

inej ghafa: do NOT leave my tough questions unanswered!!! (read at 4:37 PM)

inej ghafa: ugh, men 

inej ghafa: idiots 

[nina zenik & wylan van eck] 

5:15 PM

nina zenik: hi cutie

wylan van eck: hey nina

wylan van eck: i was just going to text you actually 

nina zenik: were you now? :) 

wylan van eck: yeah 

wylan van eck: um

wylan van eck: random question 

wylan van eck: should i wear that knit sweater i have?

wylan van eck: u know the one? the white cable knit one? 

wylan van eck: or a collared shirt with a jacket 

nina zenik: hmmmm depends what’s the occasion?

wylan van eck: oh

wylan van eck: just dinner tonight 

nina zenik: ohhhh i see 

nina zenik: white sweater :) 

wylan van eck: thanks 

nina zenik: why the debate?

nina zenik: it’s just dinner 

nina zenik: we do it all the time

wylan van eck: oh 

wylan van eck: yeah i guess you’re right 

wylan van eck: it’s just 

wylan van eck: jesper’s dad is going to be there 

wylan van eck: don’t want to make a bad impression

nina zenik: AWWWWWWW 

wylan van eck: no not like that 

wylan van eck: just like 

wylan van eck: he’s an adult. 

nina zenik: whatever u say wy 

nina zenik: has jesper said anything about the phone call from the other day?

wylan van eck: nope 

wylan van eck: he’s been a little dry

wylan van eck: probably just said it by mistake 

wylan van eck: no worries 

nina zenik: wylannnnn ://///

nina zenik: i don't think it was a mistake 

nina zenik: maybe to say it in that moment

nina zenik: but not in general 

wylan van eck: i’m not sure nina 

wylan van eck: i don't think i’m jesper’s type anyway 

nina zenik: oh god 

nina zenik: not this again 

wylan van eck: you know what i mean! 

wylan van eck: he’s so much more...

wylan van eck: idk 

wylan van eck: esfp than me 

wylan van eck: lol 

nina zenik: wylan ur too smart to be using meyer’s briggs to justify things 

wylan van eck: ur my fave enfp though 

nina zenik: go on ;) 

wylan van eck: lmao 

wylan van eck: anyway 

wylan van eck: jesper’s gonna be back to our room soon 

wylan van eck: see u at the restaurant 

nina zenik: TALK TO HIM WYLAN (read at 5:17 PM) 

nina zenik: ugh, men

nina zenik: idiots 

[six hot people] 

6:45 PM

jesper fahey: nina stop laughing so hard at all of da’s jokes 

jesper fahey: you're boosting his ego too much 

inej ghafa: someeeeone has a crush 

matthias helvar: everyone put your phones away, it’s disrespectful! 

matthias helvar: your father should be treated with respect 

jesper fahey: thanks respectful king

[colm fahey & jesper fahey]

7:00 PM

colm fahey: Son, is the red-haired boy across from you your boyfriend? 

jesper fahey: DA STOP 

jesper fahey: NO

colm fahey: It’s okay if he is 🏳️🌈👨❤️👨👨❤️👨

colm fahey: I love you no matter what! 

colm fahey: He seems like he's very good for you!! 

jesper fahey: goodbye omg 

Chapter Text

[six hot people] 

10:30 PM

jesper fahey: well everyone 

jesper fahey: colm knows about my theatre major 

jesper fahey: literally crying right now 

nina zenik: oh no! he didn’t take it well?

jesper fahey: no he DID take it well

jesper fahey: it was so beautiful, had me crying in the communal bathroom

jesper fahey: he said our farm could use an actor 

jesper fahey: and that apparently my mom used to do plays when they were in college together 

jesper fahey: and now im crying into really really nice lavender sheets 

jesper fahey: what a day 

wylan van eck: you’re welcome for the sheets

nina zenik: oh jes 

nina zenik: im so happy for you 

nina zenik: i knew it would all work out! 

inej ghafa: jes that’s great!! 

inej ghafa: <333

matthias helvar: proud of you jesper.

jesper fahey: MATTHIAS YOU STONE COLD SOFTIE YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY MORE 

kaz brekker: good job on not being a liar.

nina zenik: woah kaz no need to get so emotional 

jesper fahey: LMAOOOOOO 

jesper fahey: thank you guys :))

jesper fahey: anyway 

jesper fahey: goodnight! 

jesper fahey: colm loved you all 

nina zenik: and i him

jesper fahey: BARF 

jesper fahey: matthias, da said that you were so mature and respectful

jesper fahey: ur mission is accomplished

kaz brekker: i thought when you said goodnight it implied we were done texting.

nina zenik: goodnight kaz you’re so sweet to us all 

inej ghafa: goodnight! 

kaz brekker: goodnight inej 

[colm fahey & jesper fahey] 

11:30 PM

colm fahey: Hi son, just wanted to let you know the plane landed.

colm fahey: I hope you are getting ready to sleep now, it’s late! 

colm fahey: I am so proud of the young man you are becoming 

colm fahey: And I just know your mother would be so incredibly proud of you as well. 

jesper fahey: text me when you make it home safe da

jesper fahey: love you :) 

colm fahey: I love you too son. 

colm fahey: Sweet dreams! Tell your “roommate” I said goodnight as well😃👨❤️💋👨

jesper fahey: DA OMG STOP

colm fahey: :) 

[helnik!] 

11:45 PM

matthias helvar: hi dear

matthias helvar: have you fallen asleep yet? 

nina zenik: not yet! just chatting with inej :) 

nina zenik: is everything okay? 

matthias helvar: yes no worries

matthias helvar: just wondering if you wanted to come spend the night in my dorm

matthias helvar: it’s so quiet without a roommate 

nina zenik: omg <333 

nina zenik: on my way

matthias helvar: no wait 

matthias helvar: i’ll come pick you up 

matthias helvar: you shouldn’t walk alone at this time 

nina zenik: ❤️

[baddest bitches alive] 

12:00 AM 

nina zenik: INEJ 

nina zenik: INEJ

nina zenik: ARE U AWAKE

inej ghafa: yes! what’s up 

nina zenik: i was just talking to matthias 

nina zenik: you will not believe what he saw 

inej ghafa: what! 

nina zenik: WHEN WE GOT TO THE RESTAURANT

nina zenik:  APPARENTLY HE SAW WYLAN 

nina zenik: IN HIS CAR 

nina zenik: PRACTICING HOW TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO COLM

nina zenik: AND FIXING HIS HAIR 

inej ghafa: oh goodness 

inej ghafa: that’s so precious 

inej ghafa: how are they so oblivious to each other 

nina zenik: i don't know 

nina zenik: but i wish they’d get it together 

inej ghafa: i really think jes just needs that liiiitle push 

inej ghafa: he told me that he loved wylan yesterday 

inej ghafa: like really loved him 

inej ghafa: ”so much he doesn’t know what to do with himself” 

nina zenik: OMG 

nina zenik:  I’M FREAKING OUT RN 

nina zenik: OKAY MATTHIAS IS BACK FROM THE BATHROOM

nina zenik: GONNA GO TO SLEEP 

nina zenik: SEE U TMRW LOVE U

inej ghafa: gn <333

[inej ghafa & kaz brekker]

12:15 AM

kaz brekker: are you awake?

inej ghafa: yeah, everything okay?

kaz brekker: oh

kaz brekker: yeah 

kaz brekker: just wanted to say goodnight. 

inej ghafa: oh 

inej ghafa: goodnight kaz :))) 

kaz brekker: also. 

kaz brekker: that honors society i’m in is having a banquet thing. and i have to bring a date. 

kaz brekker: will you do me a favor and go with me?

inej ghafa: of course!! :) 

kaz brekker: i can pay you for the time 

inej ghafa: kaz

inej ghafa: what are you talking about 

kaz brekker: it’s okay if you don’t want to go

kaz brekker: i don't have to bring someone 

inej ghafa: no of course i'll go with you!!

inej ghafa: but you don’t have to PAY me 

inej ghafa: that’s nonsense 

inej ghafa: your company is payment enough :) 

kaz brekker: oh. 

kaz brekker: well okay then. 

kaz brekker: goodnight inej

inej ghafa:  goodnight :) 

[the one with braincells & jesper] 

9:00 AM

jesper fahey: gm 

jesper fahey: i left for my english lecture

jesper fahey: left you a waffle from the dining hall, it’s on your desk 

jesper fahey: da really liked you :) 

[besties from the barrel] 

9:10 AM

jesper fahey: thoughts???? 

(screenshot png.)

jesper fahey: gm 

jesper fahey: i left for my english lecture

jesper fahey: left you a waffle from the dining hall, it’s on your desk 

jesper fahey: da really liked you :) 

inej ghafa: jes u are so cute when you’re sincere 

inej ghafa: that’s perfect 

inej ghafa: wy will appreciate it!! 

jesper fahey: in a bro way though right???

inej ghafa: im blocking you 

[the one with braincells & jesper] 

11:00 AM

wylan van eck: brought the waffle to chem thank you! 

wylan van eck: also i um...

wylan van eck: kind of have a favor to ask 

jesper fahey: anything 

wylan van eck: i told alys i’d help her pack her stuff for her move out of my dad’s this afternoon

wylan van eck: and we have to actually go to the house 

wylan van eck: and it’s kind of still hard for me to see him 

wylan van eck: and i don’t want to like....

wylan van eck: actually you know what forget it 

wylan van eck:  sorry 

jesper fahey: be to our room by 3 

jesper fahey: i'll drive 

wylan van eck: jes

wylan van eck: thank you

jesper fahey: of course 

[nina zenik & wylan van eck] 

11:10 AM

wylan van eck: how did you tell matthias you loved him

wylan van eck: in a way that wasn’t by changing his bed sheets 

nina zenik: wylan

nina zenik: are you saying what i think you are 

wylan van eck: i-

wylan van eck: yeah nina 

wylan van eck: i think i am

[baddest bitches alive] 

11:15 AM

nina zenik: INEJ INEJ INEJ INEJ 

nina zenik: OUR SHIP IS IN THE HARBOR 

nina zenik: ABOUT TO START SAILING 

inej ghafa: i was JUST about to say the same thing

inej ghafa: also 

inej ghafa: i think kaz tried to ask me out 

inej ghafa: in his own...interesting way 

nina zenik: NO WAY 

nina zenik: WHAT IS IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW 

nina zenik: NEXT THING YOU KNOW NIKOLAI AND ZOYA ARE GOING TO ANNOUNCE TO THE ENTIRE UNI THEY’RE DATING 

inej ghafa: nikolai would lol

nina zenik:  HOW DID HE ASK 

nina zenik: I KNEW HE HAD A SOUL 

inej ghafa: well...

inej ghafa: he offered to pay for me to go to a banquet with him 

inej ghafa: for his honors society program 

nina zenik: I TAKE IT BACK 

nina zenik: HE’S A MF IDIOT 

nina zenik: wylan and jesper are looking more promising as individuals at flirting tbh 

nina zenik: but i honestly don’t doubt that that’s the best he could do 

nina zenik: so one free pass for the boss baby 

inej ghafa: omg don’t be mean 

nina zenik: ugh you loooooove him

inej ghafa: shhhhhh dilf lover

nina zenik:  BYE 

Chapter Text

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

2:51 PM

wylan van eck: heading back to the dorm now

wylan van eck: are you about ready?

jesper fahey: yeah! 

jesper fahey: the drive is a bit long so i packed some snacks 

jesper fahey: mostly for alys

jesper fahey: pregnant women are always hungry 

[wylan van eck & nina zenik] 

2:53 PM

wylan van eck: he packed snacks

wylan van eck: and he’s on time

wylan van eck: he’s never on time

nina zenik: huh?

wylan van eck: nothing

[the one with brain cells & jesper] 

2:55 PM

wylan van eck: thank you so much 

jesper fahey: it was nothing

jesper fahey: alys likes oreos right? 

wylan van eck: she loves them! 

wylan van eck: good guessing 

[alys van eck & jesper fahey]

5:15 PM, the day prior

jesper fahey: hey alys it’s wylan’s friend jesper! 

jesper fahey: i’m coming up with you guys to pick up your things

jesper fahey: what kind of snacks do you like for the road? 

alys van eck: oh jesper!! 

alys van eck: the one wy always talks about ;) 

alys van eck: i like oreos!

[the one with brain cells & jesper] 

2:56 PM

jesper fahey: good guessing indeed 

[six hot people]

3:15 PM

inej ghafa: good luck on your trip today wy!

inej ghafa: don’t stress too much about seeing your dad 

inej ghafa: he doesn’t deserve an ounce of your attention 

nina zenik: yes!!!!! j*n v*n e*c* is trash

nina zenik: WE LOVE YOU 

nina zenik: also tell alys hi!!!!! 

matthias helvar: good luck wylan 

wylan van eck: thank you guys!!! 

wylan van eck: i'll let you know when we arrive safely 

wylan van eck: probably quicker than usual 

wylan van eck: jesper has been ignoring the speed limit for 10 miles 

kaz brekker: good luck. let me know if i need to do something and make it look like an accident. 

nina zenik: so sweet kaz 😍😍😍

[besties from the barrel] 

3:15 PM

inej ghafa: jesper 

inej ghafa: you’re so sweet to go with them 

jesper fahey: yeah yeah i’m perfect i know 

inej ghafa: 😐

[alys van eck & jan van eck]

3:30 PM

alys van eck: hi jan!

alys van eck: we will be there in around 10 minutes to pick up my stuff! 

jan van eck: Who is we, Alys? 

alys van eck: me and wylan and jesper fahey! 

jan van eck: You have the audacity to take for granted everything I have given you, and now you bring my disgrace of a son back into my home?

jan van eck: I thought you were better than this, Alys. 

alys van eck: silly goose 

alys van eck: this is why im divorcing you! 

jan van eck:  Pardon me? 

alys van eck: nothing! 

alys van eck: be there in 5:) 

[besties from the barrel] 

4:15 PM

jesper fahey: so 

jesper fahey: i’ve just punched jan van eck in the face 

jesper fahey: can i go to jail for this? 

inej ghafa: jesper!!!!! 

inej ghafa: what on earth prompted it????

inej ghafa: i mean, i can assume

inej ghafa: but what exactly? 

jesper fahey: he was asking for it really 

inej ghafa: oh i don’t doubt it 

jesper fahey: he was being cold and quiet at first 

jesper fahey: which i thought was better because it would let us get in and out quickly

jesper fahey: alys was smart and had everything in boxes already 

jesper fahey: but then as we were about to leave 

jesper fahey: van eck approached wylan at the door 

jesper fahey: and the things he said inej.....

jesper fahey: so awful. 

jesper fahey: i just can’t even imagine how you could treat your child like that. 

inej ghafa: oh dear :((( 

inej ghafa: not everyone can be colm i suppose 

jesper fahey: oh i thought the same thing

jesper fahey: texted da and told him how much i appreciated him on the way home 

inej ghafa: ❤️

jesper fahey: anyway, it was really bad

jesper fahey: first of all, he called alys a whore 

jesper fahey: tried to claim the baby wasn’t his 

inej ghafa: he didn’t!!!!

inej ghafa: gosh that poor girl

inej ghafa: she was far too kind to him

jesper fahey: i know :/

jesper fahey: then he went on about wylan 

jesper fahey: called him incapable 

jesper fahey: and stupid 

jesper fahey: and an embarrassment 

jesper fahey: so i was already ready for a fight 

jesper fahey: but then 

jesper fahey: oh god inej it’s so bad i can’t even say it 

jesper fahey: he shoved a book in his face

jesper fahey: and started taunting him about how he couldn’t understand it 

inej ghafa: oh my god. 

jesper fahey: so i punched him 

jesper fahey: very hard 

jesper fahey: multiple times

inej ghafa: he deserves it 

jesper fahey: agreed 

inej ghafa: how is wylan doing?

jesper fahey: he’s been better 

jesper fahey: we’re on our way home now

inej ghafa: alright 

inej ghafa: let me know if you guys need anything <333

jesper fahey: will do bestie 

[alys van eck, wylan van eck, jesper fahey]

7:30 PM

alys van eck: thank you guys so much for coming with me today! 

alys van eck: and taking me to dinner! i've been craving so much cheesecake factory since i've been pregnant

jesper fahey: of course!!! it was our pleasure 

jesper fahey: and cheesecake factory is wylan’s favorite 

wylan van eck: jesper😐

wylan van eck: and of course, alys 

wylan van eck: anything you need, we’re always here! 

wylan van eck: nina and matthias are dying to go shopping with you for baby stuff:) 

alys van eck: oh how fun! 

alys van eck: yay! 

alys van eck: i'll talk to you cuties soon:))) <3333

wylan van eck: sleep well!!! 

[alys van eck & wylan van eck]

9:00 PM

alys van eck: wy

alys van eck: i feel so awful about making you come today :( i wasn’t thinking about how it might affect you 

wylan van eck: oh alys 

wylan van eck: don’t be sorry about anything 

wylan van eck: i would have offered to come no matter what 

alys van eck: if you say so❤️

alys van eck: and if it means anything 

alys van eck: you are the smartest boy i know 

alys van eck: and the kindest 

alys van eck: and the bravest 

alys van eck: jan knows nothing.

alys van eck: see you on monday for my doctor’s appointment?

wylan van eck: of course 

alys van eck: love you alys

alys van eck: yay! 

alys van eck: also 

alys van eck: you’re in love with jesper, yes? ;) 

wylan van eck: ....

alys van eck: wyyyylannnn

wylan van eck:  yes. 

alys van eck: knew it!!!! :)))))) 

alys van eck: well he very much loves you too

alys van eck: i can tell

wylan van eck: goodnight alys

alys van eck: goodnight :)))))

[helnik!]

9:25 PM

matthias helvar: goodnight, dear

matthias helvar: i love you 

nina zenik: MATTHIAS HELVAR I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 

matthias helvar: and i you 

nina zenik: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

11:30 PM

kaz brekker: goodnight, inej. 

inej ghafa: goodnight kaz!!!! 

[baddest bitches alive]

11:40 PM

inej ghafa: kaz just texted me goodnight without anything prompting it 

nina zenik: DYING OMG🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

11:50 PM

wylan van eck: jesper did you just leave our room to take a shower 

wylan van eck: it’s almost midnight 

jesper fahey: there’s no line at this hour!!! 

wylan van eck: whatever you say lol

wylan van eck: well i'll probably be asleep when you’re done

wylan van eck: you brought a room key right?

jesper fahey: yeah got it

wylan van eck: okay 

wylan van eck: goodnight jes 

jesper fahey: sleep tight 

wylan van eck: and thank you for today 

wylan van eck: really

wylan van eck: i appreciate it so much 

wylan van eck: you didn’t even have to do so much as come along but you...

wylan van eck: thank you 

jesper fahey: it was no problem wy

jesper fahey: and anyway, it’s you! 

jesper fahey: i’d do it again a million times if i had to 

wylan van eck: jesper 

jesper fahey: wylan 

wylan van eck: goodnight 

wylan van eck: ❤️

[besties from the barrel]

12:00 AM

jesper fahey: INEEEEEEEEEEJJJJJJJJJ

jesper fahey: INEEEEEEJJJJJJJJJJJ 

jesper fahey: HE SENT ME A HEART 

jesper fahey: LIKE THIS ONE 

jesper fahey: ❤️

inej ghafa: awwwwwww 

inej ghafa: now kiss 

jesper fahey: you’re starting to sound more and more like nina 

inej ghafa: okay but am i off base?

jesper fahey: not at all 

Chapter Text

[six hot people] 

11:00 AM

jesper fahey: HAPPY SATURDAY BITCHES 

jesper fahey: what are we doing today?????

nina zenik: me and matthias are busy shopping with alys for cribs today, sorry jes!

wylan van eck: oh thanks guys! 

wylan van eck: she was super excited about that 

jesper fahey: have fun cuties 

kaz brekker: im busy. 

nina zenik: finding dirt on the dean of admission “in case of future necessity” isn’t busy kaz 

jesper fahey: LMAOOOO

kaz brekker: i already found enough on him. 

kaz brekker: i have an event for the honors society. 

jesper fahey: smart king 

inej ghafa: i’m out too, sorry! 

jesper fahey: what are you up to ms ghafa???? 

jesper fahey: hanging out with me should be your top priority

inej ghafa: lol sorry 

inej ghafa: going with kaz to the honors society banquet! 

jesper fahey: wait kaz can bring friends?????? what plaid should i wear 

kaz brekker: no. 

kaz brekker: none of you are coming except inej. 

jesper fahey: well wylan 

jesper fahey: it’s just you and me for the day :) 

[besties from the barrel]

11:10 AM

inej ghafa: IF I DON’T HEAR ABOUT A LOVE CONFESSION BY THE END OF THE DAY I’M SUING 

jesper fahey: did nina steal your phone?????

inej ghafa: heyyyyy

inej ghafa: inej is in the shower 

jesper fahey: hiii

jesper fahey: WAIT LOVE CONFESSION 

jesper fahey: WHY WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT SUCH A THING 

inej ghafa: ;)))))))))

jesper fahey: NINA ZENIK 

inej ghafa: i have my sources 

[nina zenik, alys van eck, matthias helvar] 

12:00 PM

nina zenik: hi alys!! 

nina zenik: shall we pick you up around 2? :)))

alys van eck: oh i can drive!

alys van eck: i know i'm on the opposite side of town 

matthias helvar: nonsense 

matthias helvar: a pregnant woman should not have to drive if she can avoid it

matthias helvar: we will come get you 

matthias helvar: and bring snacks 

matthias helvar: jesper says you like oreos, yes? 

alys van eck: you are all just so nice!!!! 

alys van eck: wylan knows how to pick his friends 

nina zenik: we’re your friends too now❤️

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

1:30 PM

kaz brekker: i will pick you up at 5:45, that ok?

inej ghafa: perfect 

inej ghafa: is it formal? just wondering what i should wear 

kaz brekker: i’m wearing a suit. 

kaz brekker: but you can show up dressed however you want

kaz brekker: if anyone has something to say about it i can get them kicked out of the society 

inej ghafa: that’s nice of you kaz 

inej ghafa: but it’s all good

inej ghafa: i have something to wear 

kaz brekker: ok 

kaz brekker: see you at 5:45 

inej ghafa: see you! 

[the one with brain cells & jesper] 

1:45 PM

jesper fahey: wylannnn 

jesper fahey: what are we doing today 

wylan van eck: how do you know i’m not busy?

jesper fahey: dearest wylan, are u busy today

wylan van eck: no

jesper fahey: HA

jesper fahey: soooo 

jesper fahey: i think that sophomore genya safin is having a party 

jesper fahey: wanna go 

wylan van eck: is that annoying guy gonna be there 

wylan van eck: the one that was supposed to graduate like a year ago 

wylan van eck: and kept trying to date alina starkov even though she was way younger than him 

jesper fahey: ALEKSANDER MOROZOVA???

jesper fahey: absolutely not lmaoooooo

jesper fahey: zoya kicked him out of the group a looooong time ago 

wylan van eck: then yes im in 

jesper fahey: YAY

jesper fahey: i forgot about that mf 

jesper fahey: he was so awful

jesper fahey: like he thought being hot could excuse him being ugly fr 

wylan van eck: that made absolutely no sense 

jesper fahey: but u know what i mean

wylan van eck: absolutely 

❁❁❁

It was nearing 11 o’clock when the alcohol hit Wylan and around 11:05 when it hit Jesper.

The two unsuspecting roommates had arrived at Genya and David’s apartment around 9:30, and Wylan was embarrassed to admit that he was quite nervous. He wasn’t sure why, entirely. It was only Jesper with him, and generally that would have provided him with a source of infinite comfort in a wide world of atrocities and darkness. But there was something about the way he looked in that damned dim kitchen lighting. Clad in the rosewood-colored sweater vest that Wylan adored so much, Jesper’s smooth dark skin glowed magically and his gray eyes were so incredibly facilitating to get lost in that Wylan thought perhaps Jesper’s charm was made just for him. But most supremely, Jesper was laughing at Wylan’s jokes about music—which was mostly sweet because Wylan was certain they made no sense to Jesper—and he never had to worry about his ruddy red curls getting caught on his forehead because Jesper was incredibly accommodating at tucking them behind his ears. 

And Jesper was no better, in any case. As determined as he was to make friends with every person who caught his eyes, Jesper thought that if Wylan was the only person he spoke to for the rest of time, it would be time perfectly spent. Every word that slipped from his lips felt like a voice Jesper would have prayed to each night if given the chance, and he was certain that nothing—not the most intense tragedy or miracle—could have changed how lovely Wylan looked in that moment.

But Wylan and Jesper were both drunk, so who were they to take themselves seriously? 

By 11:30, it didn’t quite matter what was happening around them. It only mattered that Jesper wanted to kiss Wylan more than he wanted anything in the world, and Wylan would have done anything to give him the world. 

“Jesper,” Wylan had started. “Can we go outside? It’s too warm in here.” 

Jesper replied only with a small nod and smile that Wylan thought should have been incredibly illegal—beauty that breathtaking should be punishable by the law. He took gentle hold of his pale wrists, and guided them out to the deck. How David and Genya had afforded an apartment with such luxury, Jesper didn’t know, but he was thankful for the space. 

“Better?,” he asked. 

“Much.” 

They sat quietly beside each other for a moment, and Jesper’s fingers tapped rhythmically along the concrete. It was a nervous habit of his, Wylan knew that, but he couldn’t pinpoint why Jesper would have been anxious at all.

Wylan scooted his hand ever-so-slightly from its original position, and hesitantly met Jesper’s pinky in the middle. If he was more sober, perhaps he wouldn’t have done it at all. But for now, Wylan wondered why he hadn’t thought to hold Jesper’s hands much sooner in his life. They were so warm. 

Fingers interlocked pleasantly, Jesper thought that perhaps there was no feeling better than one like this—the feeling of hearing your heart beat out of your chest and yet still having no desire to run away. It was comfort without all of the boredom.

Jesper gave Wylan’s hand the tiniest squeeze, and suddenly their eyes met. Wylan wondered if he’d ever truly looked at anyone before this. 

“Jesper,” he said quietly. 

“Wylan.” 

“I’m—I want to do something.”

“That sounds exciting."

“Will you be upset with me if I do it?” 

“I guess you won’t know until you try,” Jesper finalized with all of the familiar charm and joviality that Wylan loved so much. 

It was quite enough. 

Wylan’s free hand reached up to Jesper’s cheek, and before he could think better of himself, their lips met. It was brief and and soft and Wylan pulled away quicker than he would have ever liked. Jesper did nothing at first, and when he finally snatched the pale hand from his cheek, Wylan was sure he had gotten it all wrong. His cheeks flushed pink and he almost remembered why he had been so insecure for his entire life. Almost being the operative word, because quicker than he had expected, Jesper was taking Wylan’s warm hand and using it as leverage to pull him back in.

And then they were kissing again, and Wylan realized this is what a kiss was meant to feel like. Jesper’s fingers combed the nape of Wylan’s ruddy curls, and his other hand rested on his knee.

Jesper and Wylan had good lives, but they were curious now as to why they accepted any other circumstance when they could have had this. 

After almost five minutes of kissing anywhere they could reach, Wylan reluctantly pulled away. 

“So, not upset?,” he asked stupidly. 

Jesper let out a breathy laugh and traced over Wylan’s bottom lip with his thumb. “Not at all. But I think we should try again to be safe.” 

And they did.

They were drunk, Wylan kept reminding himself, and it was entirely possible that Jesper would wake up in the morning and laugh about it all—call Wylan a fun kisser and blame it on the alcohol and his flirtatious tendencies.

But for now, Wylan had all of Jesper, and he realized that there was nothing in heaven or hell that he wouldn’t have done to keep him. 

❁❁❁

[besties from the barrel]

12:05 AM

jesper fahey: yooooo inejjj

jesper fahey: u have prettyh hantdwriting !!!!!!

jesper fahey: wijlll yuuu writre my wedding invitations plzzzzzzzzzzz

inej ghafa: what happened??????

inej ghafa: jesper

inej ghafa: hello?

jesper fahey: srryhhhhb sjsjs busy rrnnnnn

jesper fahey: kisssing wylannnnnnnn

inej ghafa: NO WAY

[nina zenik and wylan van eck]

12:10 AM

wylan van eck: i’ve gone to the loo so i can send this without being heard 

wylan van eck: if you and matthias hypothetically kissed on genya safin’s porch for like a really long time, would you say that he maybe liked you back????

nina zenik: WYLAN.

nina zenik: VAN. 

nina zenik: ECK. 

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

9:30 AM

nina zenik: good morning!!!!! <33

jesper fahey: NO. 

nina zenik: jesper my best friend?????

nina zenik: don’t be rude to me!!!!! 

jesper fahey: ugh 

jesper fahey: sorry 

jesper fahey: i’m so hungover

matthias helvar: were you drinking water every hour like i suggested?

jesper fahey: ...

jesper fahey: i was preoccupied with other thoughts 

matthias helvar: thoughts besides sobriety? 

matthias helvar: you all have awful priorities. 

inej ghafa: wylan is also hungover i assume?

jesper fahey: he’s still sleeping so i don’t know

jesper fahey: but probably 

nina zenik: brunch when you two have woken up? i want waffles 

jesper fahey: obv 

inej ghafa: sure! 

kaz brekker: ok. 

nina zenik: omg good morning my ray of sunshine kaz☀️☀️☀️

kaz brekker: no. 

kaz brekker: i have been up since 7 AM. 

nina zenik: oh i forgot the boss baby doesn’t sleep 

jesper fahey: LMAOOOO STOP IF I LAUGH TOO LOUD I’M GONNA WAKE WYLAN UP 

kaz brekker: i’ve looked up this boss baby you’re referring to. i do not resemble him in any way. 

nina zenik: u guys are both capitalists

nina zenik: and if i recall correctly you once called your bestie “profit”

kaz brekker: capitalist? 

kaz brekker: don’t insult me. 

kaz brekker: i am an anarchist. 

jesper fahey: INEJ I TOLD YOU!!! 

jesper fahey: HE’S NOT A SOCIALIST YOU WERE JUST TOO HOPEFUL 

kaz brekker: inej.

kaz brekker: you talk about me?

kaz brekker: with hopefulness? 

kaz brekker: inej????

nina zenik: IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THIS RN. 

nina zenik: let’s all go to sleep for another hour and we’ll reconvene for brunch. 

nina zenik: i had a long night too! 

jesper fahey: a long night doing what??? ;)))))))

nina zenik: having sex with matthias. 

matthias helvar: nina! 

matthias helvar: that’s private! 

jesper fahey: PLZ LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

jesper fahey: I’M DYING RN 

inej ghafa: and i thank you for leaving me peace and quiet in our room! 

nina zenik: ofc <3333

kaz brekker: everyday i wake up and consider leaving this chat, just know that. 

inej ghafa: don’t leave kaz! 

kaz brekker: ok. 

[besties from the barrel]

11:00 AM

inej ghafa: are you up for real now? 

jesper fahey: barely

inej ghafa: explain your texts from last night right now!!!!!!

inej ghafa: now!!!!!!

inej ghafa: jesper if you leave me on read i’m telling kaz you had a crush on him freshman year. 

jesper fahey: you wouldn’t 

inej ghafa: do you want to risk it? 

jesper fahey: nothing happened 

inej ghafa: jesper how stupid do you think i am??

jesper fahey: we kissed

inej ghafa: well i gathered that! 

inej ghafa: what happened after?

inej ghafa: how do you feel about it? 

inej ghafa: you know what i want to know! 

jesper fahey: i really don’t think it meant much of anything 

jesper fahey: i mean it did to ME

jesper fahey: but wylan is always a little more friendly when he’s drunk 

jesper fahey: and he left for the loo literally right after 

inej ghafa: jesper 

inej ghafa: wylan is a very anxious person 

inej ghafa: he could have easily just been trying to calm himself down 

inej ghafa: your charm is very intimidating sometimes. 

jesper fahey: omg blushing 

jesper fahey: inej do you have something you want to confess? 

inej ghafa: oh barf 

inej ghafa: to the implication and your deflection 

inej ghafa: jesper 

inej ghafa: wylan loves you so much 

inej ghafa: you’d be an absolute idiot not to know that

jesper fahey: i don't know inej 

inej ghafa: jesper you kissed! 

inej ghafa: what else is there to know?

inej ghafa: he buys you advil when you’re hungover and watches movies with you and you’re the first person he talks to about his family stuff 

inej ghafa: he loves you. 

jesper fahey: inej it’s ME 

jesper fahey: i know i’m absolutely perfect and fantastic in every way possible 

jesper fahey: but i think wylan deserves someone better than me for long term, yeah?

inej ghafa: oh jes. 

inej ghaafa: he deserves YOU

inej ghafa: and you know he doesn’t want anyone else anyway 

jesper fahey: stop being reassuring 

jesper fahey: logic stresses me out 

inej ghafa: see you at brunch! 

[wylan van eck & nina zenik] 

11:15 AM

nina zenik: good morning wylan van sunshine!

nina zenik: are you awake yet?

wylan van eck: awake is a generous word but yes 

nina zenik: DETAILS RIGHT NOW. 

nina zenik: WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT???????

wylan van eck: oh god nina 

wylan van eck: i don't know 

wylan van eck: i kissed him 

nina zenik: and he kissed you back? 

wylan van eck: yeah 

wylan van eck: more than once 

nina zenik: so what’s the issue!!!!!! yay!!!!! 

wylan van eck: jesper isn’t into anything really long term 

wylan van eck: never has been, i shouldn’t have even done it 

nina zenik: oh jesus christ wylan 

nina zenik: i have no patience for this right now

nina zenik: you guys are so in love it’s absolutely ridiculous. all either of you has to do is confess that to each other. 

nina zenik: i am always right wylan!!!!!! listen to me!!!!! 

[baddest bitches alive] 

11:30 AM

nina zenik: this is out of our hands 

nina zenik: they’ve got to just get it together 

inej ghafa: agreed 

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

11:45 AM

kaz brekker: want a ride to brunch?

inej ghafa: sure, thanks!

kaz brekker: you looked pretty yesterday. 

inej ghafa: thank you kaz❤️

[kaz brekker & jesper fahey] 

11:47 AM

kaz brekker: does a red heart usually indicate something romantic or is it just a friendly gesture amongst friends?

jesper fahey: KAZ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK LMAO

kaz brekker: answer me or i’m telling wylan you’ve had an embarrassing crush on him for a year. 

jesper fahey: everyone is threatening me today

jesper fahey: also HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS

jesper fahey: inej is more of a gossip icon than i thought 

kaz brekker: inej said nothing. 

kaz brekker: i am just smarter than your deflections. 

jesper fahey: ENOUGH OF THIS MADNESS 

jesper fahey: the heart depends 

jesper fahey: what’s the context 

kaz brekker: you don’t need context to answer my question.

jesper fahey: yes i do!

jesper fahey: love you BFF❤️ is not romantic. 

jesper fahey: goodnight, kaz brekker❤️ probably is. 

jesper fahey: so what’s the context???

kaz brekker: actually that was enough information. 

kaz brekker: i figured it out. 

kaz brekker: don’t be late to brunch. 

[besties from the barrel]

11:50 AM

jesper fahey: inej you’ve got to warn kaz before you send him a heart 

jesper fahey: he’s threatening me into explaining them without even telling me they’re from you 

inej ghafa: he texted you about me???

jesper fahey: not directly but he might as well have 

[alys van eck & wylan van eck]

11:55 AM

alys van eck: hi wylan! i went to the doctor’s today and they said i’m having a girl!

wylan van eck: oh alys that’s so exciting! you didn’t go to the appointment alone, right? i can always take you, remember!

alys van eck: oh no worries! my friend adem bajan took me! 

wylan van eck: oh i remember him, he gave you singing lessons right? i didn’t realize you were friends! 

alys van eck: oh yes he’s rather lovely! always offering to give me rides places and help me with grocery shopping and such 

wylan van eck: you have a crush on him!!! 

alys van eck:  wylan!!!!! shhhh!!!!! 

wylan van eck: i don't mean to embarrass you 

wylan van eck: i’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you happier than my dad

alys van eck: at least my alimony sum is huge

wylan van eck: ALYS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[the one with braincells & jesper]

12:15 PM

wylan van eck: walking back from the lab right now, sorry i had to finish something for a chem project 

wylan van eck: are you ready to go? 

jesper fahey: yeah all ready 

wylan van eck: how late should i tell nina we’re running. 

jesper fahey: you have no faith in me! 

wylan van eck:  ....

jesper fahey:  10 minutes. 

wylan van eck: got it 

wylan van eck: also, i think alys has a boyfriend! 

jesper fahey: omg who????

jesper fahey: please not another old ugly ass CEO 

jesper fahey: full offense to your father 

wylan van eck: HAHAHAHA 

wylan van eck: no, thankfully

wylan van eck: it’s her old music tutor

wylan van eck: adem bajan

jesper fahey: cuuuuuuute

wylan van eck: oh 

wylan van eck: and she’s having a girl!!!!

jesper fahey: thank god 

jesper fahey: this world has enough men😫

wylan van eck: agreed 

jesper fahey: alys is my favorite #girlboss

jesper fahey: her daughter will be a joy 

wylan van eck: lmaoo

wylan van eck: i agree 

wylan van eck: be to the dorm in five! be ready!!

jesper fahey: i need to pick a shirt still

wylan van eck: wear a button up and your campy sweater vest

wylan van eck: those look nice on you 

jesper fahey: you flatter me 

wylan van eck: they do! 

jesper fahey: sweater vest it is

jesper fahey: also, um

jesper fahey: about last night 

wylan van eck: it’s okay 

wylan van eck: you don’t have to say anything, i get it

jesper fahey: get what????

wylan van eck: it was a mistake

wylan van eck: no worries 

jesper fahey: oh. 

jesper fahey: right, okay

jesper fahey: well you shouldn’t speak for other people wy

wylan van eck: what? 

wylan van eck: jesper??? what do you mean??

wylan van eck: jes???? are u ignoring me or picking out a sweater??? (read at 12:17 PM)

wylan van eck: :( 

wylan van eck: well anyway i’ll be there in five minutes 

[wylan van eck & nina zenik] 

12:20 PM

wylan van eck:  we’re going to be 10 minutes late 

nina zenik: figured! reservation is actually for 12:45 lol

wylan van eck: you sneaky genius 

wylan van eck: also i think i've hurt jesper’s feelings

wylan van eck: but i’m not sure why or how

nina zenik: oh no! what happened?

wylan van eck: nothing really 

wylan van eck: we talked about the kiss for like three seconds 

wylan van eck: but i reassured him that i knew it was a mistake so it was resolved quickly 

wylan van eck: so i’m not sure what it could have been?

nina zenik: oh wylan 

nina zenik: you are so so so smart 

nina zenik:  with everything but this

Chapter Text

[kaz brekker & jesper fahey]

12:00 PM

kaz brekker: hi jesper. ❤️

jesper fahey: there is literally no way this is a real text i just received from you 

kaz brekker: did that feel romantic?

jesper fahey: KAZ WHAT IS HAPPENING I CANNOT BREATHE HBDBHEBFQKWHBEHBE

kaz brekker: answer me. 

jesper fahey: UMMMMM

jesper fahey: I MEAN I GUESS?????

jesper fahey: WHAT IS GOING ON

kaz brekker: ok. so if you theoretically read that text from someone you had interest in, you would assume they reciprocated your feelings?

jesper fahey: I-

jesper fahey: yes????????

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

12:05 PM

kaz brekker: hi inej. ❤️

[besties from the barrel]

12:07 PM

inej ghafa: (screenshot png.) !!!!!!! is he being threatened???

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

12:05 PM

kaz brekker: hi inej. ❤️

jesper fahey: OH

jesper fahey: life suddenly makes so much more sense

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

12:07 PM

inej ghafa: hi kaz! <3 <3

kaz brekker: how are you today?

inej ghafa: pretty good, just finished a psych test

inej ghafa: how are u?

kaz brekker: fine. 

kaz brekker: just got out of a lecture 

inej ghafa: cool! 

kaz brekker: are you busy today?

inej ghafa: i have a bit of studying to do, but after that no!!

kaz brekker: i need to buy a suit for my presentation next week. 

kaz brekker: i trust your opinion on menswear. 

kaz brekker: i am also planning to get dinner afterward. 

inej ghafa: ... 

inej ghafa: would you like some company? 

kaz brekker: how thoughtful of you to ask 

kaz brekker: yes. 

kaz brekker:  i would. 

[baddest bitches alive]

12:10 PM

inej ghafa: i think kaz just asked me on a date

inej ghafa: like a proper, just for fun one

nina zenik: STOP ARE YOU SERIOUS

nina zenik: INEJ I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU 

[six hot people]

12:15 PM

nina zenik: KANEJ IS ON THE HORIZON 

nina zenik: SHIT WRONG CHAT 

inej ghafa: nina oh my god.

nina zenik: I AM SO SORRY 

jesper fahey: WHAT IS A KANEJ 

jesper fahey: OH 

jesper fahey: OMG 

jesper fahey: OMG 

kaz brekker: seeing as removing nina from the group chat has not worked in the past: 

kaz brekker: matthias, nina steals your hoodies so often that you have been wasting your money buying new ones. you have not lost them. she enjoys taking them, and there are probably some sitting in her closet right now. furthermore, nina, i have contacted genya safin to let her know that you once texted david kostyk a message stating “genya is in love with you. ask her out! she does not stop talking about you, i ship it”, long before they actually started dating. 

wylan van eck: jesper is literally on the floor laughing so hard i think he’s going to start hyperventilating. 

[helnik!]

12:15 PM

matthias helvar: don’t feel bad for taking my sweaters, dear.

matthias helvar: if they are comfortable you can keep them! 

[genya safin & nina zenik]

12:30 PM

genya safin: NINA ZENIK I AM NEVER TELLING YOU A SECRET AGAIN YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT DAVID IS MY BOYFRIEND AT THIS POINT. 

[six hot people]

12:35 PM

nina zenik: this is the closest i have ever come to being doxed in a group chat 

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

12:40 PM

inej ghafa: kaz stop scaring our friends! (read at 12:41 PM)

[besties from the barrel]

12:45 PM

jesper fahey: ur man is so off the rails🤪🤪

inej ghafa: did mr “kissing indicates a simple bro moment” have something to say????

jesper fahey: BYE I HATE YOU 

[matthias helvar & wylan van eck]

2:00 PM

matthias helvar: hello wylan

wylan van eck: oh hey matthias 

wylan van eck: everything okay?

matthias helvar: yes

matthias helvar: nina mentioned you were having a hard time on the relationship front

wylan van eck: oh

wylan van eck: i'm

wylan van eck: yeah...i guess so? i’d rather not talk about it

matthias helvar: you are entitled to privacy in your relationship, of course. 

matthias helvar: just know that it is usually better to say what you mean and deal with the consequences than bottle up your emotions. 

matthias helvar: anywho, that is all. 

wylan van eck: wow

wylan van eck: well thank you for reaching out 

wylan van eck: i’ll keep that in mind

matthias helvar: anytime 

matthias helvar: i will probably see you at alys’ house in a couple of hours, yes?

matthias helvar: i am coming over to build her crib. 

matthias helvar: the baby is just around the corner, how exciting! 

wylan van eck: wow matthias 

wylan van eck:  that’s so nice of you 

matthias helvar: it’s the least i can do

matthias helvar: see you there 

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

3:00 PM

wylan van eck: has your boyfriend always been lowkey perfect or....?

nina zenik: I’M SO GLAD YOU ARE ALL FINALLY NOTICING

wylan van eck: no really like i think i had an epiphany or something

nina zenik: matthias took his philosophy gen ed class very seriously

nina zenik: so im not at all surprised by this ;) 

wylan van eck: anyway i've gotta go

wylan van eck: we’ll talk later 

[nina zenik, inej ghafa, alys van eck] 

5:00 PM

alys van eck: hi!!! my sister has just told me she’s throwing me a baby shower :)

alys van eck: would you two like to come?❤️

alys van eck: no boys allowed of course lol

inej ghafa: of course alys!! 

inej ghafa: thank you for inviting us <3

nina zenik: we’ll be there! let us know if you need anything honey :) 

alys van eck: yay!! see you there!!

alys van eck: nina, matthias has just finished up my crib :)

alys van eck: it looks so good, is he a carpenter or something?

nina zenik: just very strong!! :))) 

alys van eck: also, i got an envelope from kaz brekker with a how to guide on receiving substantial alimony? with a $100 gift card to the babyGAP attached to it? 

alys van eck: he's a friend of yours and wylan’s, right? 

nina zenik: oh my gosh 

nina zenik: the boss baby does have a soul

alys van eck: sorry?

nina zenik: nothing, sorry!

nina zenik: yes, he’s our friend!! :) 

alys van eck: oh good! tell him thank you so much for me! the guide is unconventional but very helpful!! i didn’t know i was entitled to so much of jan’s income

nina zenik: take his money🥰

alys van eck: i will!! ;) 

inej ghafa: i'll tell kaz you say thank you, of course!! excited to see you soon xoxo

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

6:00 PM

inej ghafa: kaz. 

inej ghafa: alys just talked to me and nina and says thank you for the gift! 

inej ghafa: that was so sweet of you

inej ghafa: really 

kaz brekker: i’d like to get a laugh out of watching jan van eck go bankrupt. 

kaz brekker: that is all.

inej ghafa: hmmmm and what does a babyGAP giftcard have to do with jan van eck

inej ghafa: you secretly care about people:) 

kaz brekker: not like i care about you. (message deleted)

kaz brekker: goodnight inej

inej ghafa: goodnight! xx

Chapter Text

incoming call from alys van eck

11:30 PM

hello? 

wylan! 

is everything okay? what’s wrong? 

oh i’m perfectly alright

but you should come to the hospital

the baby is coming!!

oh alys! i will be there as fast as i humanly can 

should i text the others to come along?

it would be so nice to have them

but no pressure 

we’ll be there soon

are you taking deep breaths?

trying

i’m a little scared, honestly 

but all in good fun!

anyway, my sister has just pulled the car around 

i’ll see you soon! 

love you alys, everything is going to be okay, i promise

oh wylan i love you more 

[six hot people]

11:35 PM

wylan van eck: the baby is coming!!! 

wylan van eck: alys says she’d love to have you all there if you can make it

wylan van eck: i know it’s late

matthias helvar: you are all coming 

matthias helvar: my mother used to tell me that pregnant women like to be surrounded by people when they’re in the hospital 

nina zenik: oh this is so excited!!! i'll just come in pajamas so we can get there asap!!

inej ghafa: going to brush my teeth, then me and nina are ready to go right after!!! 

inej ghafa: is alys doing well?

wylan van eck: i think so

wylan van eck: she sounds nervous but still like her cheerful self 

kaz brekker: what hospital is she at? 

jesper fahey: st. starkov’s 

jesper fahey: off of O’s Alta Ave

inej ghafa: got it

[helnik!]

11:45 PM

matthias helvar: i can pick you and inej up from your dorm in 10 minutes dear 

matthias helvar: it’s very cold out and i have heated seats

nina zenik: perfect❤️

nina zenik: i love you!!!!

matthias helvar: and i you

[six hot people]

12:05 AM

jesper fahey: wylan and i just got here

jesper fahey: room 216 on floor 5 

nina zenik: on our way up

nina zenik: we were finding kaz in the parking lot 

❁❁❁

Katerina Wylan Van Eck was born at two in the morning. She was a perfectly healthy eight pounds, and inherited the sweet, docile smile of her mother. 

Alys had considered giving up her married last name—and in turn passing on her family’s surname to Katerina as well—but decided against it after some deliberation. Van Eck may have been the last name of a despicable man she’d been pressured to marry, but it was also the last name of his lovely son. And Alys Van Eck thought that Wylan deserved some true, loving family members who shared his name sake. She mused briefly that the boy’s last name might change to Fahey in due time, anyway, but decided not to get ahead of herself. 

And speaking of such, Jesper and Wylan were the first of their friends to visit Alys once the baby had arrived. They entered the hospital room looking incredibly fidgety and boy-ish, but excited and friendly nonetheless. Sometimes Alys forgot that they were hardly any younger than her.

Wylan held the baby first. 

He thought that it might terrify him, to see someone so small resemble his father in any way. But his weariness was immediately wiped once Katerina laughed—an innocent and utterly charmed laugh at one of the riotously silly faces Jesper had made at her. 

I know how you feel, he’d wanted to whisper to her. 

The baby may have shared his father’s genes, but Wylan was quick to realize that she looked just like Alys. Their blue eyes shone with the same optimism, and although it was hardly there, Katerina was bound to grow a full head of the white-blonde locks Alys bared herself. Wylan already loved her. He’d always wanted a little sister. 

Jesper held her next, and it was no surprise what a natural he was at it all. He switched from cradling her neck and waltzing her around the hospital room—whispering mischievously precious things to her about Wylan’s messy red hair—to bouncing her up and down on his knee as Alys got some much-needed rest. 

“Sooner than later, you’re going to need advice,” he’d said, tone entirely human and jovially germane to himself. “And when that time comes, you’ll have so many people who are willing to give it to you. Nina and Matthias if you’ve got a problem with your boyfriend or girlfriend, Inej or Wylan with schoolwork, and Kaz if you’ve broken the law. Try to avoid the last one. And of course I am the most fun person you’ll ever know, so I’ll take you out for ice cream and help you get some height on the swings. You’ll have a fun little life, and I promise that everyone will love and adore you.” 

Jesper thought they’d been alone—sans Alys’ sleeping figure—but it had turned out that Wylan’s trip to get ice chips was quicker than he’d expected, and by the time he’d arrived back, Alys was awake and ready for her daughter again. 

“You’re sweet to take care of her for me,” she said. 

“It’s why we’re here! You needed the sleep, anyway.” 

Shortly after, Wylan and Jesper had decided to take a stroll outside, concluding that the hospital’s stuffy, clinical scent was overbearing after enough time. 

“I didn’t know you were so good with kids,” Wylan had said after a few moments of comfortable silence. 

“Oh, am I? I wasn’t really thinking about it, just doing what seemed normal.” 

Wylan hummed in assent. 

“I think you’d probably make a good dad.” 

Jesper laughed. A loud, youthful laugh that Wylan would have killed to hear for the rest of his life. 

“No, I absolutely would not. I wouldn’t be able to deny them anything. They’d ask us for ice cream for dinner, and I’d have no choice but to say yes because it sounded like a fun idea.” 

Wylan’s breath caught in his throat. He couldn’t possibly have meant that. 

“Us?” 

“What?"

“You said us. They’d ask us for ice cream.” 

Jesper hadn’t said it on purpose, but he was nevertheless pleased with the way a phrase like that sounded slipping from his lips—the way that it indicated a life and a baby and a backyard with a dog, all with Wylan. It was a little premature, certainly, but a person who lacked dreams for the future also lacked imagination. 

“Oh.” 

“It doesn’t really matter, sorry, I don’t know why I said anything.” 

They continued to walk for a moment and Jesper considered letting the moment pass. But he thought about all the other times he’d let something pass before, and never did he get what he truly wanted out of it. He really wanted Wylan. 

“I’m in love with you,” he’d said. 

It was blunt and lacked subtly, but it ripped the bandaid right off. Jesper suddenly understood Kaz’s lack of tact. 

“You—what?” 

“I love you, like, a lot. So much that I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t really know what we’ve been doing all this time, and maybe it’s just me that’s living an entire life in my head that doesn’t exist, but I think you might love me too. It’s selfish to even bring it up because you deserve so much better than me, but I’m impulsive and unfocused and I can’t help myself.” 

Wylan thought he might cry. Cry—or yell or laugh or kiss Jesper anywhere he could find and propose to him on the cold wet concrete of a hospital parking lot. But he could be sensible, sometimes. So, he settled on a simple, 

“I love you too.” 

"But?"

“Jes, you idiot. You know there’s no but. I don’t know what you could possibly mean by me deserving better but I do know that no matter what, you’re wrong. This whole time it seemed like we had some broodish and complicated relationship but I think it just boiled down to us being stupid and scared to admit things.” 

“Only Kaz broods.” 

“Yeah, and we inherited way too many unfavorable traits from him."

Jesper laughed again, and Wylan smiled at him freely, because it felt like he could. He was blushing a furious pink, but suddenly the sound of his quickening heart beat didn’t seem so frightening. 

This was finally allowed. 

Jesper stopped in his tracks, and Wylan, albeit with furrowed eyebrows, assimilated. 

“What?"

“Aren’t you going to kiss me now? Or do I have to do it myself?” 

“I did it first the last time. I think it’s your turn.” 

Jesper thought to make some facetious and flirty comment that would make Wylan blush again, but when things were allowed, everything felt less rushed. He’d have plenty of time to make him shy. 

“Okay,” he whispered. 

And then Jesper’s lips were on Wylan’s, and the latter’s hands cupping Jesper’s cheeks felt like the sunrise. Constant and hopeful and oh, how you’d notice of it wasn’t there. 

The kiss was brief, but quite long enough for their untimely position at a hospital. And anyway, they’d have plenty of time for this later.

“We should go back inside,” Jesper said quietly as he pulled away. “The others will wonder why we’ve been gone so long.” 

Wylan nodded in agreement, but laughed softly. “Oh, but they’ll assume."

“I guess everyone except us has noticed how obsessed with you I am."

They both laughed at that because it was the right thing to do, and because it was such an incredibly natural beauty of their relationship thus far. All that had really changed was their permissions to kiss the other whenever they’d like to. 

And that Wylan had reached over to hold Jesper's hand as they walked, and it felt so incredibly warm. A warmth he was now allowed to feel. 

❁❁❁

[six hot people]

1:00 AM

nina zenik: wylan and jes, where are you guys 

jesper fahey: we went to get air, be back in like 5 minutes 

nina zenik: matthias has just held the baby! it’s so precious my baby fever is up the walls right now 

jesper fahey: matty would lowkey be a dilf😍

wylan van eck: excuse me?🤨

jesper fahey: OH YEAH HANG ON A SEC I CAN SAY THIS STUFF NOW

jesper fahey: wylan you’d also make a good dilf😍😍

wylan van eck: thanks i love you😌

nina zenik: IM SORRY??????

nina zenik: WHATS JUST HAPPENED????????

nina zenik: EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW

nina zenik: THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE A JOKE  

nina zenik: WYLAN

nina zenik: JESPER 

nina zenik: ARE YOU-

nina zenik: OH MY GOD 

[baddest bitches alive]

1:15 AM

nina zenik: BESTIE IDK WHERE YOU AND KAZ WENT BUT LOOK AT THE GROUP CHAT

inej ghafa: sorry we’ll be back in a few minutes, kaz was having a bit of a moment 

inej ghafa: i think he secretly wishes he could hold the baby :( 

inej ghafa: it’s just so hard for him

nina zenik: oh poor thing :(

nina zenik: that makes me so sad for him

inej ghafa: me too

nina zenik: well take your time

nina zenik: you’re so great at taking care of him 

inej ghafa: i try

nina zenik: okay well see you soon i've gtg! matthias keeps talking poor alys’ ear off about crib safety 

inej ghafa: HA 

inej ghafa: good old matthias 

inej ghafa: see you soon 

[six hot people]

3:00 AM

wylan van eck: goodnight thank you guys so much for coming 

wylan van eck: alys appreciated it so much 

nina zenik: duh!

nina zenik: anything for her and the baby❤️

matthias helvar: make sure she knows we’re right across town if she needs anything 

inej ghafa: ^^!!! she deserves all the help she wants!

inej ghafa: get some sleep everyone <3 goodnight 

kaz brekker: wylan tell alys i’ve venmoed her $100 for baby clothes

nina zenik: when money is your love language😍

[baddest bitches alive]

10:00 AM

inej ghafa: GOOD MORNING I FINALLY GOT A CHANCE TO READ THE EARLIER TEXTS IN THE GROUP CHAT 

inej ghafa: I THINK THEY FINALLY MADE IT

nina zenik: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TEXT YOU 

nina zenik: IT WAS JUST AS I SUSPECTED 

nina zenik: I JUST WENT TO JESPER AND WYLAN’S DORM TO "GRAB MY FAVORITE SLIPPERS THAT I LEFT"

nina zenik: WHICH IS WHY IM GONE RIGHT NOW LOL

nina zenik: AND WHEN JESPER ANSWERED THE DOOR

nina zenik: WYLAN WAS ALSEEP IN HIS BED LIKE THEY’D BEEN SLEEPING NEXT TO EACH OTHER ALL NIGHT🥺

inej ghafa: OMG

inej ghafa: ughhhhh im so happy for them!!!!! 

nina zenik: I KNOW HUH

nina zenik: IT WAS ABOUT TIME

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

9:00 AM

jesper fahey: guys isn’t wylan soooooo hot 

wylan van eck: jesper what the actual fuck 

wylan van eck: but thank u <3 

nina zenik: IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU’RE GOING TO ANNOUNCE TO US THAT YOU’RE DATING???

jesper fahey: yes ;) 

wylan van eck: i voted that we just let it come up naturally 

wylan van eck: but no 

jesper fahey: mr esfp had to make an entrance

jesper fahey: oh okay suddenly mf wants an enemies to lovers banter with me🤨

wylan van eck: i won’t if you come back to bed, it’s cold as shit 

nina zenik: GET A ROOM GOODBYE

nina zenik: but on a serious note im so happy for you guys❤️

nina zenik: it’s about time! 

inej ghafa: yay so excited for you two! now jesper can stop sending me weird ominous messages about his feelings :) 

wylan van eck: aw jes you talked about me? ;) 

jesper fahey: just in a bro way 

inej ghafa: enough of that! 

matthias helvar: happy for you two. <3

matthias helvar: nina taught me how to do that heart, neat right?

jesper fahey: matty you precious thing 

kaz brekker: if you’re going to get married i would do it soon. it’s good for taxes.

jesper fahey: nah i don’t pay taxes🤪

wylan van eck: neither does jan lol.

kaz brekker: i have found ways to avoid them. 

jesper fahey: GUYS I WAS KIDDING WTF 

jesper fahey: PAY YOUR TAXES. 

matthias helvar: yes. <3

matthias helvar: sorry that heart is lots of fun. 

jesper fahey: NINA SINCE WHEN WAS YOUR BF SO ADORABLE 

nina zenik: homeboy has some major baby fever right now 

inej ghafa: aw 

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

10:00 AM

wylan van eck: are you still in your lecture? 

jesper fahey: yeah :/ its so LONG and i can’t sit still 

jesper fahey: i miss you 

wylan van eck: you saw me an hour ago jes 

jesper fahey: okayyyy and????

wylan van eck: lol 

wylan van eck: i miss you too

jesper fahey: what would you do if i was there? 

wylan van eck: NO. 

jesper fahey: what are you wearing rn? ;) 

wylan van eck: JESPER ABSOLUTELY NOT 

wylan van eck: GOODBYE

...

10:10 AM

wylan van eck: i love you❤️

[alys van eck, nina zenik, inej ghafa]

12:00 PM

nina zenik: inej and i are on our way! <33

alys van eck: oh yay!! 

alys van eck: thank you for coming early and helping me set up everything for the shower! 

inej ghafa: of course! 

inej ghafa: matthias has sent us with lots of diapers and baby clothes for katerina 

alys van eck: oh bless him 

[helnik!]

2:00 PM

matthias helvar: how is the baby shower?

nina zenik: good!! alys says thank you for the gifts❤️

matthias helvar: it was nothing

matthias helvar: what time will you be back?

matthias helvar: no rush, i just wanted to see if you wanted to get dinner when you get back?

nina zenik: yes! i'll be back to school by 6 

matthias helvar: have fun my love 

nina zenik: ❤️

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

2:30 PM

kaz brekker: hi. 

kaz brekker: how is the baby shower?

inej ghafa: oh it’s great! 

inej ghafa: the baby has lots of little sweaters from the babyGAP thanks to you:)

kaz brekker: good. 

kaz brekker: anything else?

inej ghafa: hmm i don’t think so? 

inej ghafa: is this a test of some kind lol 

kaz brekker: no. 

kaz brekker: i just wanted to hear about your day. 

inej ghafa: oh:) 

inej ghafa: i'll be home around 6 if you want to catch up then? 

inej ghafa: unless you’re busy, i know you’ve had some tough projects and exams lately 

kaz brekker: not busy. 

kaz brekker: text me when you’re back. 

inej ghafa: ok! 

[kaz brekker & nikolai lantsov]

3:00 PM

kaz brekker: lantsov. i won't be at the honors econ meeting today. 

nikolai lantsov: i never thought i’d hear those words from you!

nikolai lantsov: is everything ok? 

kaz brekker: fine. 

nikolai lantsov: well okay then, see you next week

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

4:00 PM

jesper fahey: wyyyyyyyyy

jesper fahey: i just got back to our room

jesper fahey: where are you? 

wylan van eck: literally just left for my last class, sorry :( 

jesper fahey: nooooooo

jesper fahey: okay well at least it’s the last one????

wylan van eck: it’s a chem lab, i'll be there for like 3 hours

jesper fahey: ugh i was afraid you’d say that 

jesper fahey: i’m your boyfriend now why do i suddenly never get to see you 

jesper fahey: this feels homophobic

wylan van eck: i know

wylan van eck: but at least now we have an essentially infinite amount of time to do whatever we want

wylan van eck: without all the awkward miscommunication

jesper fahey: yeah 

jesper fahey: what do you mean by whatever we want? ;)

wylan van eck: JES TWO TEXTS LIKE THOSE ARE QUITE ENOUGH 

wylan van eck: I AM SO INCREDIBLY PALE I CAN’T COVER UP A BLUSH TO SAVE MY LIFE 

jesper fahey: ohhh so i make you blush? 

wylan van eck: you know you do🙄🙄

[colm fahey & jesper fahey]

4:15 PM

colm fahey: Hello son! 

colm fahey: How are you?

jesper fahey: hi da!

jesper fahey: i’m good 

jesper fahey: is everything okay?

colm fahey: Oh quite alright!

colm fahey: I was just wondering when your next school break is? And if you will be home?

jesper fahey: i'm off in just a few weeks for winter break

jesper fahey: and i'll be home for sure 

colm fahey: Oh fantastic! 

colm fahey: Will you be bringing your friends up with you?

jesper fahey: mostly likely! they don’t really have anywhere else to go i don’t think

colm fahey: Oh no!☹️☹️

colm fahey: Well they are always welcome here! 

colm fahey: Will your roommate Wylan be here as well?

jesper fahey: yeah 

jesper fahey: and about that 

jesper fahey: i guess it doesn’t hurt to just tell you now

colm fahey: He is your boyfriend?😘

jesper fahey: DA WTF

jesper fahey: DID NINA TEXT YOU???????

colm fahey: I’ve just looked up what WTF means

colm fahey: Jesper Llewellyn Fahey watch your language! 

colm fahey: And no, you friend Nina didn’t say anything 

colm fahey: A father always knows❤️

[six hot people]

4:30 PM

jesper fahey: how does everyone feel about spending christmas at the farm with me and da?

nina zenik: OMG YES!❤️

jesper fahey: nina anytime you get excited about seeing da i get suspicious now 

inej ghafa: lol

inej ghafa: and it’s a yes from me and kaz!! thanks for inviting us all <3

[besties from the barrel]

4:35 PM

jesper fahey: mf??? “me and kaz”???? explain????? are you guys finally together???

inej ghafa: yes 

inej ghafa: we are literally “together" sitting in the same room

jesper fahey: boring 

[six hot people]

4:40 PM

matthias helvar: thank you for inviting us, jesper. and send your father my gratitude as well. 

jesper fahey: matty b fresh you’re always so formal

jesper fahey: like sheesh write my emails to my profs for me 

matthias helvar: oh dear, not the nickname again

[the one with braincells & jesper]

6:00 PM

wylan van eck: finally got out of my lab

wylan van eck: thank god david was my partner, the chemical solutions were so confusing 

wylan van eck: he's such a genius i think he must have secret mind powers or something

jesper fahey: feeling jealous rn

jesper fahey: i could prob use magic powers to do the thing with chemistry or smth also😌

wylan van eck: i’m sure you could <3 

wylan van eck: anyway on my way back now 

wylan van eck: are you home?

wylan van eck: or at the dorm i mean

jesper fahey: no keep calling it home

jesper fahey: it sounds better 

jesper fahey: yes i’m here!

jesper fahey: will you play something for me on the flute when you get back

wylan van eck: don’t make fun of me!!

jesper fahey: i'm not i’m being dead serious!!!!

jesper fahey: you look cute when you’re concentrating 

wylan van eck: oh 

wylan van eck: well okay 

wylan van eck: sure 

jesper fahey: see you soon

jesper fahey: love you

wylan van eck: love you more

jesper fahey: impossible

wylan van eck: improbable

jesper fahey: MF DIDN’T NIKOLAI SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AT ORIENTATION 

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

9:00 PM

wylan van eck: what does it mean when you’ve stopped listening to mirrorball 

wylan van eck: and have moved on to invisible string 

nina zenik: WYLAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO GET A TEXT FROM YOU

nina zenik: MY SECRET SWIFTIE 

nina zenik: ALSO THAT’S SO PRECIOUS 

nina zenik: FRAMING A SCREENSHOT OF THIS RN

[baddest bitches alive]

9:20 PM

nina zenik: inej my love are you okay? 

inej ghafa: oh sorry i forgot to text you! 

inej ghafa: i fell asleep in kaz’s room on accident

inej ghafa: be back in like 10 minutes 

nina zenik: omg so cute

nina zenik: okay see you soon:)

nina zenik: want me to meet you halfway? it’s dark! 

inej ghafa: sure 

inej ghafa: kaz said he’d walk me back earlier but he fell asleep and i don’t have the heart to wake him up lol

9:30 PM

nina zenik: i see you!! i’m on the bench up ahead of you

nina zenik: sorry it took me a second to notice you

nina zenik: wasn’t your hair down when you left? 

inej ghafa: oh yeah

inej ghafa: i think kaz must have pulled it back for me when i was sleeping 

nina zenik: STOP OMG 

nina zenik: BOSS BABY STEPPING UP HIS GAME 

nina zenik: INEJ I CAN SEE YOU BLUSHING AT YOUR PHONE FROM 30 YARDS AWAY FROM ME

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

10:00 AM

nina zenik: KAZ!!! BOSS BABY!!! 

nina zenik: your birthday is in 3 days!!! are you excited! 

nina zenik: capricorn king 

jesper fahey: omg kiiiiing 

jesper fahey: are we having a party???

inej ghafa: kaz’s birthday is on the 22nd, so it might be tough to have one at school

inej ghafa: jes when are we leaving for the farm? 

jesper fahey: we leave on the 23rd! 

kaz brekker: when have i ever wanted a party on my birthday for any particular reason. 

kaz brekker: there will be nothing of the sort. 

nina zenik: OMGGG NOOOO BOSS BABY I WANT TO THROW YOU A PARTY

kaz brekker: no.

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

10:30 AM

inej ghafa: are you sure you don’t want to do anything?:(

inej ghafa: 20 is a big birthday!

kaz brekker: no inej. 

inej ghafa: okay

inej ghafa: well of course however you want to spend your birthday is your choice

inej ghafa: but let me know if you change your mind <3 

[the one with the braincells & jesper]

11:00 AM

wylan van eck: jesssss

wylan van eck: when are you done with classes for the day 

jesper fahey: not until late

jesper fahey: i’ve got auditions for a midsummer night’s dream tonight 

wylan van eck: jes!!!!!!

wylan van eck: why didn’t you tell me???

wylan van eck: i would have gotten you good luck cupcakes 

jesper fahey: ur cute 

jesper fahey: but it’s okay i didn’t want to jinx myself 

jesper fahey: and i was running lines all day with inej

wylan van eck: i wish i could have helped you with that :/

wylan van eck: i’m sorry i can’t 

jesper fahey: oh wylan

jesper fahey: none of that!

jesper fahey: it’s no big deal, i promise 

jesper fahey: i love you so much my genius chemist❤️

wylan van eck: good luck at the audition!!

wylan van eck: oh christ that’s bad luck isn’t it

wylan van eck: break a leg???

jesper fahey: you are literally my good luck charm 

jesper fahey: you could tell me to fall off the stage and i’d still kill it knowing you’re around 

wylan van eck: when did you get so romantic?????

jesper fahey: idk some redhead who likes to blow things up became my roommate one day🙄

[nina zenik & jesper fahey]

12:00 PM

nina zenik: MF INEJ JUST SAID YOU’RE AUDITIONING FOR A PLAY AND U DIDN’T TELL ME 

nina zenik: BREAK A LEG BESTIE!!!!!

nina zenik: HOPE U GET THE ROLE OF HAMLET OR SMTH

jesper fahey: WRONG PLAY BESTIE BUT I’LL TAKE IT

jesper fahey: THANK YOU!!!!!! 

[matthias helvar & jesper fahey]

3:00 PM

matthias helvar: i hear you’re auditioning for a shakespearean production today.

matthias helvar: in my little hometown in fjerda, we used to put on plays all the time. 

matthias helvar: break a leg, jesper. you would make a fantastic lysander. 

jesper fahey: MATTY YOU’RE ABOUT TO MAKE ME CRY BACKSTAGE RN 

matthias helvar: no tears. just remember that love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.

jesper fahey: WHO ARE YOU TODAY 

matthias helvar: my sister played a fantastic helena in our family productions! 

[six hot people]

9:00 PM

jesper fahey: GUYS I KNOW IT’S LATE

jesper fahey: BUT CAST LISTS CAME OUT TODAY

jesper fahey: GUESS WHO’S PLAYING LYSANDER????

nina zenik: kaz???

kaz brekker: no. shakespeare is pompous.

nina zenik: KAZ PLZ LMAOOOO BYE 

jesper fahey: UM HELLO ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO GUES?????

wylan van eck: dearest darling jes, is it you???

jesper fahey: THANK YOU FOR THE ENTHUSIASM WYLAN 

jesper fahey: YES IT’S ME!!!!

jesper fahey: i mean of course i’m fantastic but sophomores never get leads 

jesper fahey: so i was a little shocked

inej ghafa: oh jes yay!!!! how exciting!!!

inej ghafa: i knew you could do it!!!

nina zenik: YES BESTIE!!!!!!

nina zenik: ACTING KING🤩

kaz brekker: good job. 

matthias helvar: oh how exciting, jesper. you’ll have to give us the dates for the show

matthias helvar: i haven't seen a proper shakespeare play in ages.

[the one with brain cells & jesper]

9:05 PM

wylan van eck: come home right now 

wylan van eck: i’m so proud of you 

wylan van eck: wait no ew possessive=gross, don’t come home if there’s a cast party or something!! go have fun!!! 

jesper fahey: lmaooooooo wy it’s okay cast party is tomorrow

wylan van eck: okay good 

wylan van eck: i want to kiss you so bad

jesper fahey: on 

jesper fahey: my 

jesper fahey: way 

[six hot people]

december 22

8:00 AM

jesper fahey: happy birthday kaz!!!!

jesper fahey: you’re no longer a teenager anymore, congrats on growing into your true self

jesper fahey: a stoic crime boss😍

nina zenik: YES BOSS BABY WE LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

nina zenik: ❤️❤️❤️

wylan van eck: happy birthday dad!

wylan van eck: FUCK I MEANT KAZ 

wylan van eck: WTF 

wylan van eck: MY AUTOCORRECT IS?????

matthias helvar: i always thought you considered kaz a fatherly figure, anyhow. 

nina zenik: PLZ WHAT LMAOOOO MATTHIAS DEAR WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH ALL YOUR LITTLE INTUITIVE THOUGHTS

matthias helvar: happy birthday, kaz

inej ghafa: happy birthday kaz❤️❤️

kaz brekker: thank you, everyone.

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

10:00 AM

kaz brekker: do you have plans today?

inej ghafa: nope! have you changed your mind about today :) 

kaz brekker: in a sense. 

kaz brekker: there is something i usually do alone every year

kaz brekker: but i think

kaz brekker: i might want you to come along this time.

inej ghafa: oh of course kaz 

inej ghafa: anything 

kaz brekker: can i pick you up in an hour? 

inej ghafa: perfect 

[besties from the barrel]

2:00 PM

jesper fahey: me and wylan are going to get a cake customized for kaz 

jesper fahey: it’s going to say “greed bows down to you, bitch. happy birthday” 

jesper fahey: wanna come? 

inej ghafa: omg lmao

inej ghafa: but i can’t 

inej ghafa: i’m actually with him right now

jesper fahey: STOP HE’S SUCH A LIAR AND A SIMP LMAO 

jesper fahey: HE DIDN’T WANT TO HANG WITH US🤨

inej ghafa: oh jes it’s a little tougher than that 

inej ghafa: i'll explain later 

jesper fahey: is he okay??

inej ghafa: i think he will be eventually 

inej ghafa: but i understand why he secretly loves it when you call him your unofficial brother now

jesper fahey: you’re being very ominous ms ghafa

inej ghafa: i know, i’m sorry 

inej ghafa: talk soon, i promise!

inej ghafa: he’ll love that cake 

jesper fahey: ttyl bestie!!! 

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

9:00 PM

kaz brekker: thank you for coming with me to the river today.

kaz brekker: i’m sorry i couldn’t have you stay over at my room for longer 

kaz brekker: i just need to be with my own thoughts for the night

inej ghafa: oh kaz 

inej ghafa: don’t apologize for anything

inej ghafa: thank you for trusting me with such an important part of yourself❤️

inej ghafa: jordie would be so proud of you

kaz brekker: goodnight inej

kaz brekker: sleep well 

inej ghafa: goodnight kaz 

inej ghafa: and remember we’re leaving early for the fahey’s tomorrow! please make sure you let yourself rest❤️❤️❤️

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

10:00 AM

jesper fahey: good morning everyone, meet me and wylan at my car at 10:30! 

wylan van eck: you’ve got until 11

jesper fahey: HEY! 

wylan van eck: jes you haven’t even packed yet 

nina zenik: see you guys soon!! 

inej ghafa: nina and i got snacks for the road!

[six hot people]

12:00 PM

matthias helvar: nina has fallen asleep on my shoulder. please everyone try to keep your voices down so she can rest. 

inej ghafa: will do! 

[inej ghafa & kaz brekker]

12:10 PM

inej ghafa: okay let’s be quiet for nina lol

inej ghafa: what were you saying? 

kaz brekker: nothing.

kaz brekker: just that nina comparing me to the boss baby doesn’t make any sense. 

kaz brekker: he is a far worse businessman than i would ever be. 

inej ghafa: oh lmao 

kaz brekker: why is this funny inej?? 

inej ghafa: i wouldn’t take it personally 

inej ghafa: i think nina just means that you’re both so young and...serious 

kaz brekker: fun is for the weak

inej ghafa: hey! i like having fun

kaz brekker: fun is for the weak, except you, my dearest inej. 

inej ghafa: don’t be sarcastic🙄🙄

kaz brekker: i’m not. 

[colm fahey & jesper fahey]

1:00 PM

jesper fahey: hi da! we’ve stopped to stretch our legs, be there in around an hour!

colm fahey: Hi son! Fantastic! The house is ready for you all!

colm fahey: I have set up the guest rooms according to your recommendation. 

colm fahey: You are 19 now, so of course you may share a bedroom with your boyfriend. 

colm fahey: But remember to make smart choices and be safe!😃

jesper fahey: DA PLEASE 

jesper fahey: I CAN’T DO THIS RN

[the one with braincells & jesper]

1:30 PM

jesper fahey: wylan 

jesper fahey: wylan

jesper fahey: wylan 

jesper fahey: wylan

jesper fahey: wylan

wylan van eck: JESPER WHAT I'M IN THE BATHROOM

jesper fahey: are u almost done????? and is the bathroom empty?????

wylan van eck: yeah to both...are u okay?

jesper fahey: i haven't kissed you in two hours 

jesper fahey: it’s been literal torture 

wylan van eck: you went an entire year without kissing me? 

wylan van eck: while living in the same dorm room as me?

wylan van eck: i think you’ll be alright 

jesper fahey: so u don’t want me to sneak into bathroom right now and make out with you until everyone notices we’re gone???

wylan van eck: i didn't say that. 

wylan van eck: come here right now. 

[six hot people]

1:50 PM

matthias helvar: has anyone seen wylan and jesper? nina and i are arriving back from the coffee shop across from the gas station now.

inej ghafa: oh they’re not back at the car?

inej ghafa: kaz and i are heading back there as well 

matthias helvar: no, wylan went to the restroom and then a couple minutes later jesper did as well

inej ghafa: oh dear jesus 

inej ghafa: JESPER FAHEY. if i have to tell your father that we’re late because you and wylan were making out in a gas station bathroom...

jesper fahey: calm down we’re coming back now!!!

nina zenik: we see you!

nina zenik: good luck explaining those hickeys to colm!!! :)

[colm fahey & jesper fahey]

3:00 PM

jesper fahey: we’re here! 

[nina zenik & jesper fahey]

5:00 PM

nina zenik: jesus

nina zenik: mf this always happens on my autocorrect 

nina zenik: **jes

jesper fahey: you just sent the same word twice 

nina zenik: omg god complex king?🤪

jesper fahey: nah that’s kaz 

nina zenik: LMAO 

nina zenik: anyway

nina zenik: matthias is having a sit down discussion with your dad right now

nina zenik: about how he appreciates his hospitality and that he’s thankful that he has allowed him and i to share a bedroom.

nina zenik: and that he will not “take advantage of those privileges with excessive sexual activity” 

jesper fahey: NINA STOP IT RIGHT NOW 

jesper fahey: I JUST TOLD THIS TO WYLAN

jesper fahey: HE'S LAUGHING SO HARD I THINK I NEED TO GET HIM AN INHALER 

nina zenik: i’m literally texting u right now to avoiding laughing too obviously

jesper fahey: good old matty

jesper fahey: so respectful 

nina zenik: but also i told him i would give him a christmas morning bj so like...

nina zenik: what’s this mf going to say??? no thanks nina??? i don’t think so 

jesper fahey: get the inhaler. wylan has died. 

[six hot people]

7:00 PM

jesper fahey: hope you're all taking naps and unpacking ur stuff:)

jesper fahey: dinner in 30 

[besties from the barrel]

7:45 PM

inej ghafa: jesper!!!!

inej ghafa: rid wylan of his misery right now!!

jesper fahey: he’s perfectly fine!!

inej ghafa: he’s so nervous about your dad liking him

inej ghafa: that he’s started trying to explain marauders fan fiction to him.

inej ghafa: what about this is fine???

jesper fahey: okay but da is very interested in hearing it! 

jesper fahey: he loves knowing about youth culture. 

inej ghafa: god jesper

inej ghafa: you just love watching your boyfriend blush, don’t you?

jesper fahey: yeah❤️

7:55 PM

jesper fahey: OH TAKE THAT INEJ!!

jesper fahey: kaz is talking about STOCKS. CONTROLLING THE STOCK MARKET. DA IS A FARMER. 

inej ghafa: it’s one of his interests! 

jesper fahey: you just love watching his little scheming face, don’t you? 

inej ghafa: yeah. 

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

8:00 AM

nina zenik: merry christmas eve everyone!! 

nina zenik: has anyone seen matthias?

nina zenik: i haven't been able to find him since he got out of bed 

kaz brekker: i saw him go outside to help colm feed the animals. 

jesper fahey: matty did always give me farmer vibes😍

jesper fahey: also merry christmas eve!!

inej ghafa: jes you’re never up this early

inej ghafa: are u okay lol

jesper fahey: me and wylan went down to the beach!!!

jesper fahey: he looks so pretty i’m forcing him to pose for pics 

nina zenik: you guys are so cute i’m dying

inej ghafa: jesper fahey did you steal my sunglasses??

inej ghafa: they’re not here and kaz said he saw you leave with them

jesper fahey: wylan forgot his and his eyes would get all red from the sun otherwise :( 

nina zenik: ugh put a ring on it

nina zenik: right now 

jesper fahey: just asked him

jesper fahey: wylan says he'll only marry me if the farm will make his net worth go up through combining assets

jesper fahey: thoughts on how tf net worth works, kaz? 

inej ghafa: do 19 year olds even have net worths?

kaz brekker: net worth: the total wealth of an individual, company, or household, taking account of all financial assets and liabilities. jesper is legally an adult, so his net worth is treated as such. the farm might give him a boost once it is actually signed to his name. for now, his net worth only exists in a theoretical future in which his car is eventually done being financed. his net worth will be equivalent to the value of said vehicle. 

jesper fahey: MF. WHAT??????

nina zenik: boss baby moment. 

inej ghafa: could you clarify what you mean kaz? 

kaz brekker: in short: jesper is broke. wylan, if you are looking to marry for the money, he is not the answer. 

matthias helvar: i’ve just finished feeding the chickens. what in god’s name is happening? 

[kaz brekker & wylan van eck]

8:30 AM

kaz brekker: wylan. 

kaz brekker: merry christmas eve. 

kaz brekker: there are rumors that your father might be going to jail. be prepared to inherit a lot of money and possibly a home. 

wylan van eck: huh????

wylan van eck: kaz how do you know about this before me?

kaz brekker: i know everything. 

kaz brekker: a good christmas gift, no? 

[six hot people]

8:45 AM

jesper fahey: guys wylan might actually become my sugar daddy soon

matthias helvar: should i even ask? 

wylan van eck: no

wylan van eck: i'll explain later🤨

jesper fahey: i need to go to the market for dinner stuff 

jesper fahey: and wylan needs to be at home in case alys facetimes with katerina 

matthias helvar: oh i'll stay here too, then! i want to say hello to the baby

jesper fahey: anyone want to come with me?

kaz brekker: no. 

jesper fahey: OK TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL 

kaz brekker: inej has told me it’s rude to leave people on read. i’m exercising my other option

nina zenik: i’ll come jes!!!

jesper fahey: okayyy bestie 

jesper fahey: see you in a minute

jesper fahey: wylan and i are walking back up now 

[six hot people]

10:00 AM

nina zenik: jes and i are at the store

nina zenik: anyone have last minute snack requests?

wylan van eck: will you get me ice cream 

nina zenik: we grabbed some! is strawberry good

wylan van eck: my favorite

nina zenik: that’s what jes said :)

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

11:00 AM

kaz brekker: did you leave the house?

inej ghafa: oh i’m just outside 

inej ghafa: getting some air 

kaz brekker: are you okay? 

inej ghafa: i think so

inej ghafa: it’s just especially hard not spending the holidays with my family even after so much time apart

kaz brekker: oh 

[kaz brekker & jesper fahey] 

11:10 AM

kaz brekker: jesper answer me right now. 

kaz brekker: if you send someone a red heart could it also be used as a consoling or comforting symbol? 

jesper fahey: PLZZZZZ i’ve been waiting for another one of these cryptic messages 

jesper fahey: yes it can! 

kaz brekker: “i understand❤️. want some company?” is an appropriate message to send then?

jesper fahey: of course, inej will appreciate it 

kaz brekker: who said i was sending this to inej?

kaz brekker: stay out of my business jesper.

jesper fahey: YOU’RE SO DRAMATIC I’M STARTING TO THINK I NEED TO STEP UP MY GAME

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

11:15 AM

kaz brekker: i understand❤️

kaz brekker: want some company?

inej ghafa: sure :)

inej ghafa: i’m out by the garden 

inej ghafa: colm grew some wild geraniums out here!

inej ghafa: they’re my mom’s favorite, what a beautiful coincidence right? 

[colm fahey & kaz brekker]

11:20 AM

kaz brekker: thank you for growing the flowers. 

kaz brekker: inej likes them. 

colm fahey: Of course son!!

colm fahey: My garden needed something new anyway💐💐

[helnik!]

12:20 PM

nina zenik: jesper and i are coming back home now 

nina zenik: could you run a bath for me? 

nina zenik: i’ve had a migraine all day

matthias helvar: i figured that you might after you left without taking any advil 

matthias helvar: the bath is already set up for you dear

matthias helvar: and i’m making you some tea and waffles for lunch right now <3 

nina zenik: matthias helvar i don’t deserve you 

matthias helvar: oh yes you do. 

matthias helvar: i love you, drive safe!

nina zenik: jes is driving!

matthias helvar: even more reason to make sure you’re being safe

matthias helvar: jesper has no regard for speed limits 

nina zenik: but the quicker he drives, the sooner i get to see you :) 

matthias helvar: carry on then. 

[incoming call from wylan van eck...]

hello? 

jes, are you on your way home? 

i just dropped nina off at home

but i forgot olive oil so i'm going back to store 

oh okay 

well, um... 

wy are you okay? 

yes! no god, yes, i’m perfectly fine. 

i just...

oh jes please don’t be mad at me but--

i couldn’t possibly get mad at you

what happened? 

well i was looking for a sweater to wear from your drawer 

because they’re comfortable and they smell like you 

aw i forgot you have a crush on me

shut up 

anyway 

when i was looking i found a black box that was labeled from: jes to: wylan 

and you opened it?

it’s barely my fault!

it was a gift addressed to me!

and i've been hanging out with kaz all day, he’s an awful influence

it’s okay wy, i’m not upset you opened it

you were meant to get it tomorrow anyway

that’s not really all 

i read the little information card attached to it

jesper

this was your mother’s charm that your dad gave her when they got married...

i couldn’t possibly take this from your family

wylan 

you can and you will 

i wouldn’t give you something i didn’t want to

and da wants you to have it too

but it’s a family heirloom, doesn’t he want to keep it to remember her by? 

he remembers her in other ways, wy

please don’t worry about it

oh god

i'm realizing now that sounded like i was trying to tell your dad how to cope

how harsh of me jesus christ 

oh wylan no

you’re totally fine

...

please take the charm

it can clip on the inside of your sweaters 

are you sure? 

it just feels so important to your family 

it is 

but you’re part of our family now 

jes...

i was always all yours to love from the start

and now you have something to remember my beautiful face by 

i love you so much

i love you more

be home soon 

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

9:00 AM 

jesper fahey: IT’S CHRISTMAS EVERYONE UP 

jesper fahey: RIGHT NOW

jesper fahey: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUP 

jesper fahey: I WANT TO OPEN GIFTS NOW 

❁❁❁

Wylan had woken up before Jesper, technically. He’d always been a morning person—even on weekends—but now there was an irreplaceable beneficiary to an early start. That beneficiary being that Jesper very much enjoyed sleeping in. Unless Wylan shook his shoulder awake, there was not a chance the boy would see the light of day before noon. Jesper had made the exception in favor of Christmas gifts, certainly, but Wylan was still awake first. 

He lied close to Jesper, the latter’s arm draped comfortably over Wylan’s waist. Sometimes Wylan wondered how’d he’d gotten in this position—with everything he could possibly want or need or love in his life. Most often, he tried to pretend he was unaware of just how content he was. It was irrational, Wylan knew, but there was a part of him that thought if the universe realized how happy he was, it would be stripped away from him.

His thoughts of uncertainty, however, could really only last as long as Jesper Fahey wasn’t looking at him. Wylan watched his sleeping figure, the way his chest rose and fell. There were so few times that Jesper was so still, and it was nice to see him finally get the peace he so obviously needed after days of chaos. Jesper loved the chaos, of course, but Wylan was still grateful that he could rest, at least. 

After a few minutes of indulging himself—staring at Jesper’s sleeping figure because he was beautiful and he could—Wylan attempted to slide out of bed and make some coffee. His efforts were to no fruition, in any case, because Jesper was just as quickly pulling him tighter in with a soft sigh. 

“No, not yet, it’s too early,” he mumbled. 

“I thought you were sleeping,” Wylan replied with the faintest laugh. “I was going to wake you up with coffee in a half hour."

Jesper just shook his head, and nestled his head further into Wylan’s neck, and it was not lost on either of them that Wylan’s skin had gone the most subtle shade of pink. 

“I can’t believe I’m so pretty that you still blush around me.” 

Wylan let out a more ferocious laugh at that, and playfully pushed Jesper off of him as to get the upper hand. He leaned over him now, ruddy curls fanning above both of their sleepy figures. Wylan smiled coyly, and Jesper couldn’t help but offer back up a toothy grin that in no way resembled his usual smooth glances. But who really cared, now? Jesper didn’t have any reason for excessive coquettishness if he already had everything that he could have possibly wanted. 

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered, and Wylan kissed him in return. 

“Merry Christmas."

Shortly after, Wylan had truly gotten up to turn on the kettle, and Jesper followed him to the kitchen. 

And in that moment, Jesper and Wylan both thought that if everything else in their live’s went wrong for the rest of eternity, they’d at least have each other. And there was no doubt that that would be quite enough. 

❁❁❁

[six hot people]

9:30 AM

matthias helvar: jesper i’ve been up since 7 feeding the chickens! 

wylan van eck: we’ve just made some coffee if you want to get some matthias 

nina zenik: WE KNOW

nina zenik: I LOVE YOU GUYS BUT MY EARS CANNOT TAKE THE GRINDING OF COFFEE BEANS THIS EARLY

nina zenik: anyway merry christmas everyone❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

nina zenik: i love you all dearly 

inej ghafa: merry christmas <333

inej ghafa: so happy to spend it with you guys 

kaz brekker: merry christmas. 

wylan van eck: jesper is telling me to yell at you guys to wake up

wylan van eck: because he wants to open gifts 

wylan van eck: but it’s kind of hot when he’s mad

wylan van eck: so take your time

nina zenik: AWWWW

nina zenik: GET A ROOM...

[colm & the kids]

10:30 AM

colm fahey: It was fun opening gifts with you all! 

colm fahey: I’m leaving now to help Miss Baghra across the street put her groceries away and then I'm off to the orphanage on Keramzin street to volunteer! 

colm fahey: Be home for dinner! Have fun with Alys and the baby and send them my love!! 

nina zenik: will do!!! 

nina zenik: thank you so much for the lovely gifts colm!!! i love my taylor swift CD box set🥰

[nina zenik & jesper fahey]

10:45 AM

jesper fahey: NINA ZENIK STOP BLUSHING WHEN YOU TEXT MY FATHER 

jesper fahey: WHAT WOULD MATTHIAS THINK?????

[colm & the kids]

10:45 AM

wylan van eck: yes thank you so much!!! my new flute is lovely 

inej ghafa: and these psychology books are so interesting!!

kaz brekker: thank you for investing some money in stocks in my name. you did it very strategically. 

matthias helvar: thank you mr. fahey, for the cooking supplies! i've been wanting a kitchen aid mixer for ages

jesper fahey: DA HOW DID YOU KNOW MATTY LIKED TO COOK BEFORE I DID I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. 

colm fahey: He mentioned making soft pastries that little Katerina could eat with her baby teeth! 

inej ghafa: oh that’s so sweet 

[alys van eck & wylan van eck]

11:30 AM

alys van eck: merry christmas wylan!!!!❤️❤️❤️

alys van eck: katerina and i are so excited to see you and your friends today <3

alys van eck: i love my mom and my sisters, but they’re beginning to get on my nerves lol

alys van eck: a change of company will be nice for a few hours

wylan van eck: merry christmas alys!!!!! 

wylan van eck: we are all so excited to see you two!

wylan van eck: matthias has made pastries he thinks are soft enough for Kit Kat

wylan van eck: want us to bring anything else for lunch? 

alys van eck: oh that sweet boy

alys van eck: he’ll make a good dad 

alys van eck: and no we’re all set! 

wylan van eck: i agree 

wylan van eck: he and nina have been having crazy baby fever recently

wylan van eck: we’ll see you soon!!

[six hot people] 

11:45 AM

wylan van eck: will everyone be ready to leave for alys’ at noon?

kaz brekker: yes. 

inej ghafa: ^^! 

jesper fahey: yes my dearest lovely wylan treasure of my soul

nina zenik: mf what are you on today🤨

jesper fahey: IT’S CHRISTMAS LET ME BE

nina zenik: ur right bestie 

nina zenik: my dearest lovely matthias treasure of my soul, are you all ready to go? i’m in the kitchen and i’m too tired to come check if you’ve woken up from your nap yet 

matthias helvar: wow how sweet of you dear 

matthias helvar: yes i am up!!

matthias helvar: should i drive? 

inej ghafa: sure! 

wylan van eck: thanks matthias!

jesper fahey: thank you my king matty 

[alys van eck & wylan van eck]

12:20 PM

wylan van eck: we’re here!!

[six hot people]

1:30 PM

inej ghafa: nina your boyfriend is so precious 

inej ghafa: he hasn’t put katerina down all afternoon 

nina zenik: don’t remind guys i'm about to have a kid with him at this point 

wylan van eck: !!!!!! ???????? -me and jesper say 

wylan van eck: he would answer himself but he’s teaching alys’ nephew how to shoot his nerf gun at a target

kaz brekker: financially, it would be best for you to wait and have a child when you are at least 24, with a steady job and income. 

kaz brekker: however, a woman’s right to bodily autonomy reigns supreme so you may do what you wish whenever you’d like. 

nina zenik: new kaz brekker unlocked=feminist kaz😍

nina zenik: anyway these christmas sugar cookies are about to get taken 

nina zenik: who’s coming with me to steal a couple 

wylan van eck: i will! 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

2:30 PM

jesper fahey: where’d you goooooooo

wylan van eck: me and nina were looking for cookies

wylan van eck: then got side tracked giving alys relationship advice on adem

jesper fahey: they’re not dating yet????

wylan van eck: oh you know alys, very shy about that stuff 

jesper fahey: kinda like you were 

jesper fahey: but it all worked out 

jesper fahey: tell her that 

jesper fahey: then come back i miss you 

wylan van eck: bro ur so clingy😍

jesper fahey: call me bro one more time i'll block you 

wylan van eck: okay and? 

jesper fahey: call me bro one more time and i won’t let you borrow my sweaters anymore 

wylan van eck: MY DEAREST JESPER. 

wylan van eck: I AM SORRY FOR I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE. 

wylan van eck: anway on my way to you now 

jesper fahey: ❤️

[baddest bitches alive]

3:00 PM

inej ghafa: nina!!

nina zenik: inej!!

inej ghafa: maybe i’m being dramatic but i just had to tell someone 

inej ghafa: kaz held the baby!!!!

inej ghafa: it was a little awkward and it was only for a second 

inej ghafa: but he did it!

inej ghafa: and katerina kept giggling 

inej ghafa: and i think he might have laughed a little bit back

nina zenik: oh inej that’s so exciting 

inej ghafa: right???? of course i never wanted to push him

inej ghafa: i could just tell he’s wanted to

nina zenik: yay❤️❤️❤️

nina zenik: i’m so happy for him 

[colm and the kids]

5:45 PM

jesper fahey: on our way home now!!

jesper fahey: alys says thank you for sending us with those gifts<33

colm fahey: Of course!!! I remember when you were a little baby, all of those things helped you fall asleep quicker!😄💤

colm fahey: Oh that reminds me! We should look at your baby photos when you get home, I have so many cute ones from the holidays!!

jesper fahey: DA NO

wylan van eck: i would love to see those photos!!

jesper fahey: WYLAN STOP 

colm fahey: I thought you might!

colm fahey: See you all soon! 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

8:00 PM

wylan van eck: i didn't know you had a crush on han solo when you were little!!

wylan van eck: you even dressed up as him for halloween one year!!

wylan van eck: jes these photos are so cute! i’m asking your dad to send me some copies 

jesper fahey: i’m breaking up with you

wylan van eck: but it’s christmas!

jesper fahey: fine i won’t 

jesper fahey: if you let me wake up first tomorrow morning and watch YOU sleep for a little while

wylan van eck: i didn't even know-

wylan van eck: how do you know that????

wylan van eck: deal. 

jesper fahey: are you blushing right now???

wylan van eck: shut up

[six hot people]

11:30 PM

nina zenik: goodnight everyone and merry christmas❤️

nina zenik: this is from me and matthias he’s just fallen asleep lol

nina zenik: i love you all 

nina zenik: you’re my best friends and family<33

jesper fahey: GOODNIGHT BESTIES I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH 

jesper fahey: so thankful to be the hot one of the group😍😍

wylan van eck: goodnight everyone, love you guys!! 

inej ghafa: much love sleep well xoxoxo

kaz brekker: goodnight. 

kaz brekker: you all have good assets as individuals. 

nina zenik: we love you too kaz 

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

9:00 AM

wylan van eck: i am sincerely considering dropping out of school

wylan van eck: i miss the farm nobody made us go to 8 AM classes

inej ghafa: agreed 

matthias helvar: i like the mornings and i must admit too im very tired. 

nina zenik: wy i though you were a morning person? 

wylan van eck: i am usually 

wylan van eck: but jesper keeps me up until 4 AM

nina zenik: ;) 

wylan van eck: NO NOT LIKE THAT

jesper fahey: yes like that🤨

wylan van eck: mf stfu 

wylan van eck: he was literally keeping me up watching kill bill

nina zenik: #filmbromoment

jesper fahey: it’s a good movie!!! 

jesper fahey: also kaz watch the wolf of wall street you’d love it😍

inej ghafa: oh we watched that the other day didn’t we? 

kaz brekker: jordan belfort is an idiot.

nina zenik: oh understandable 

nina zenik: would you prefer the business strategies of maybe...the boss baby 

kaz brekker: don’t make me dox you again. 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

11:00 AM

jesper fahey: help 

wylan van eck: what’s wrong??

jesper fahey: play rehearsal is awful

jesper fahey: i’m so bad it’s not even funny🤪

jesper fahey: apparently being hot and sexy and perfect isn’t enough 

wylan van eck: jesper llewellyn fahey stop it 

jesper fahey: did you just use my full name??

jesper fahey: do it again. 

wylan van eck: don’t hit on me right now!!

wylan van eck: i’m serious 

wylan van eck: don’t give yourself too much of a hard time, i’m sure you’re fantastic

jesper fahey: i don't know 

jesper fahey: it just makes me nervous 

jesper fahey: da is coming to see the play and i really want him to be proud of me

wylan van eck: oh jes you know he is<3 

jesper fahey: yeah but i want him to have a reason for it 

jesper fahey: anyway break is over gtg

wylan van eck: have fun

wylan van eck: i love you 

jesper fahey: love you more

[helnik!]

12:00 PM

matthias helvar: hi dear 

matthias helvar: how are your classes going?

nina zenik: hi❤️

nina zenik: they’re good 

nina zenik: i’m almost done for the day 

matthias helvar: me too 

matthias helvar: alys is wondering if we could babysit for her later this afternoon? she has an appointment with her lawyer 

matthias helvar: divorce matters and such

nina zenik: of course!!!!!!😍😍😍😍😍

matthias helvar: okay i'll let her know!

nina zenik: matthias do you think we’ll make good parents?

matthias helvar: surely 

[wylan van eck & jan van eck]

1:00 PM

jan van eck: Wylan. It is your father. 

wylan van eck: okay clap if you care 

jan van eck: Excuse me?

wylan van eck: ur so desperate for airtime it’s embarrassing

jan van eck: ...

wylan van eck: sorry jesper took my phone

wylan van eck: what is it. 

jan van eck: I must testify in court next Thursday, as to see if custody will be split 50/50 on Katerina. 

jan van eck: I need you to be a character witness for me and confirm that I am a suitable father. 

wylan van eck: i literally got disowned by you???????

wylan van eck: and i....hate you?

wylan van eck: no.

wylan van eck: you know what, i should have done this a long time ago. 

(wylan van eck has blocked jan van eck)

[alys van eck, nina zenik, matthias helvar]

2:30 PM

nina zenik: matthias and i are on our way! 

alys van eck: yay! thank you both so much for doing this 

nina zenik: anytime❤️

[chat with just inej❤️]

3:00 PM

kaz brekker: hello inej.

inej ghafa: hi! 

inej ghafa: the chat name aw<3 

[kaz brekker & jesper fahey]

3:05 PM

kaz brekker: jesper. 

kaz brekker: why didn’t you tell me that when you change the name of a chat between two people the person can see it?

jesper fahey: HUH???????

jesper fahey: KAZ PLEASE DEAR GOD. CONTEXT. 

kaz brekker: i cannot believe you withheld this information from me. 

jesper fahey: kaz how tf would i know that you needed to know this 

jesper fahey: aren’t you supposed to be the smart one? 

kaz brekker: useless. 

kaz brekker: now i have to cover my tracks strategically.

jesper fahey: hey listen mate i have no clue what tf you’re talking about 

jesper fahey: but...good luck with inej?

[chat with just inej❤️]

3:10 PM

kaz brekker: i don't know how that heart got there. 

kaz brekker: it must be a typo. 

inej ghafa: oh 

inej ghafa: okay 

kaz brekker: but i won’t remove it. 

inej ghafa: :) 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

4:00 PM

wylan van eck: how is rehearsal? 

jesper fahey: good 

jesper fahey: i miss you 

wylan van eck: i miss you too <3 

wylan van eck: your dad sent me more of your baby pics!!!

jesper fahey: OH DEAR GOD NO. 

jesper fahey: I HATE YOU BOTH

jesper fahey: I CAN’T DO THIS. 

wylan van eck: but you were so cute!!🥰

wylan van eck: anyway i've brought you an extra muffin from the dining hall for when you get back 

jesper fahey: okay i don't hate you anymore 

wylan van eck: thought so

wylan van eck: also i've worn your mom’s charm on the inside of my sweater today!!

jesper fahey: OH GOOD

jesper fahey: now im all blushy and the actor who plays hermia is questioning me 

wylan van eck: who plays her again? 

jesper fahey: NIKOLAI LANTSOV

jesper fahey: DID I NOT TELL YOU THIS

jesper fahey: HE’S A FANTASTIC ACTOR 

wylan van eck: should i be jealous🤨

jesper fahey: NOT AT ALL 

jesper fahey: I LOVE YOU 

wylan van eck: i love you too<33

(attachment: 1 image)

jesper fahey: oh the charm looks so good with your white sweater😍

jesper fahey: wy i love you so much 

jesper fahey: seriously

jesper fahey: i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you

wylan van eck: i love you x7 as well 

wylan v an eck: ❤️

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

3:00 PM

jesper fahey: okay i have dates for the play!!

jesper fahey: january 25-27

matthias helvar: i'll be at all all three dates!

jesper fahey: oh matty you’re a legend for that one

jesper fahey: but you can just come to one if you want 

matthias helvar: nonsense 

matthias helvar: your performance is bound to be different at each one

matthias helvar: so it will be unique each time 

inej ghafa: how insightful 

inej ghafa: of course i'll be there too!! :))

nina zenik: SAME bestie i have to make it known that i was friends with you before you become famous😍😍😍😍

kaz brekker: i will come. 

[kaz brekker & wylan van eck]

4:00 PM

wylan van eck: kaz i need your help

kaz brekker: what is it? 

wylan van eck: well it turns out jan is facing time like you said 

kaz brekker: congratulations wylan. 

wylan van eck: lol

wylan van eck: well thank you 

wylan van eck: the problem is that since his divorce with alys wasn’t finalized when his sentence was drawn up

wylan van eck: she has full control over his estate and assets 

wylan van eck: and she told me she doesn’t think she can handle that, which i understand. 

wylan van eck: but now it’s passed down to me

kaz brekker: and you need help on the business front. 

wylan van eck: yes

kaz brekker: ok. 

wylan van eck: thank you so much 

kaz brekker: i love to see men like van eck suffer 

kaz brekker: it’s my pleasure

wylan van eck: there’s an all-weekend meeting with the council that i need to get the dates of

wylan van eck: but i'll forward you the documents i have. 

kaz brekker: ok. 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

5:00 PM

wylan van eck: i’m sorry we haven’t talked all day

wylan van eck: i’ve been so busy trying to handle all of my dad’s shit

wylan van eck: he’s done some....illegal stuff

jesper fahey: don’t worry about it

jesper fahey: sorry you’re stressed❤️

jesper fahey: at least now you’re rich though ;) 

wylan van eck: JESPER I WILL NOT BE IMMEDIATELY BUYING YOU A SPORTS CAR. 

jesper fahey: we’ll see about that

jesper fahey: i’m sure i have methods of convincing you ;) 

wylan van eck: MF STOP IT I’M ABOUT TO WALK INTO A MEETING 

wylan van eck: anyway i don’t have time to look at all the messages in the chat 

wylan van eck: can you sum it up for me

jesper fahey: oh just dates for the play

wylan van eck: oh that’s coming up so soon isn’t it

wylan van eck: i’m so excited to see you in period clothing

jesper fahey: oh i’m sure you are 

jesper fahey: and we get to keep the costumes too

wylan van eck: JESPER YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME BLUSH STOP BEING MEAN I HAVE A MEETING IN 10 MINUTES 

jesper fahey: never 

wylan van eck: anyway im sorry i have to go 

wylan van eck: i don't want to be late 

jesper fahey: wait do you want me to come 

wylan van eck: ? 

jesper fahey: i could help you with the transcriptions if you want 

jesper fahey: so you just have to worry about the actual content 

wylan van eck: don’t you have rehearsal jes? 

jesper fahey: yeah but we end at 5:15 

jesper fahey: nobody will notice if i leave early

jesper fahey: nikolai has been telling a story about zoya’s fucking hair ribbon for an hour

wylan van eck: i don't want to make you leave early

jesper fahey: oh wy you’d hardly be making me do anything 

jesper fahey: i promise i want to 

jesper fahey: i love you see you in 10

wylan van eck: i love you x7 

[kaz brekker & inej ghafa]

6:00 PM

inej ghafa: hi kaz!

inej ghafa: did you leave a book in my room by chance?

inej ghafa: it’s a tutorial book on how to braid hair so i can’t imagine it’s yours

inej ghafa: but nina says it's not hers and i don’t remember who else was here

kaz brekker: oh 

kaz brekker: yes that’s mine. 

inej ghafa: oh okay!

inej ghafa: i didn’t know you had interest in hair styling

kaz brekker: you always braid your hair 

kaz brekker: so i thought i would learn in case you needed me to do it for some reason. 

inej ghafa: oh kaz thank you 

inej ghafa: that’s very sweet of you❤️

kaz brekker: i’m sorry inej

kaz brekker: i know it’s not much but it’s the best i can do right now. 

kaz brekker: at least we’d be sitting close to each other

inej ghafa: what did i say about apologizing for things like that 

inej ghafa: i’m happy to just spend time with you

[kaz brekker & jesper fahey]

6:30 PM

kaz brekker: i’m writing an essay on how people with lower IQs confess things. 

kaz brekker: how did you tell wylan you loved him? 

jesper fahey: welcome back to ms mojo, today we’re counting down the top 10 worst ways to ask someone for advice

[six hot people]

8:00 PM

nina zenik: GOOD EVENING BESTIES

nina zenik: WHO WANTS TO BE COMPARED TO OLIVIA RODRIGO SONGS😍

jesper fahey: BRO AREN’T THEY ALL SAD???

nina zenik: i’m gonna be honest i only sent that text so i could find an excuse to tell kaz that he reminds me of brutal😌

jesper fahey: YOU’RE SO RIGHT. 

wylan van eck: wait yeah omg

kaz brekker: what is this nonsense you are talking about. 

inej ghafa: kaz listen to brutal by olivia rodrigo 

kaz brekker: enough music recommendations. 

kaz brekker: i already listened to the reputation album. 

nina zenik: okay and did it not speak to your soul?

kaz brekker: ...

kaz brekker: whatever. 

[colm fahey & wylan van eck]

10:00 AM

colm fahey: Hi son!! Jesper has told me you’ve been carrying some stress recently with your father’s estate. 

colm fahey: I am not much of a businessman myself, but I have lived some years on Earth!😀

colm fahey: If you ever need some help, remember I am always around!! 

wylan van eck: oh thank you so much colm!!!

colm fahey: Of course!!

colm fahey: Thank you for making my son so happy🥰

colm fahey: And happy Pride Month!!!! 

wylan van eck: oh thank you!!! but pride month is in june:)

colm fahey: Oh that’s right, I’ve gotten the J months all mixed up!!! 

colm fahey: See you soon for Jes’ play!!!! 🎭

[wylan van eck & zoya nazyalensky]

11:00 AM

zoya nazyalensky: hey wylan, it’s zoya, i’m interning for the city through the law program 

zoya nazyalensky: the council wanted me to let you know the dates for the meeting on your father’s assets are january 25th-27th. 

zoya nazyalensky: will that interfere with any of your classes? 

wylan van eck: that’s a weekend right? 

zoya nazyalensky: yeah

wylan van eck: okay then that should work! thanks! 

zoya nazyalensky: no problem 

zoya nazyalensky: also: you didn’t hear this until technically i've clocked out

zoya nazyalensky: but nikolai got a new flat last week and we're having a party tonight

zoya nazyalensky: bring your crows 

wylan van eck: hahahaha okay! 

[six hot people]

12:00 PM

wylan van eck: party at nikolai’s new flat tonight, we in?? 

nina zenik: YES YES YES YES 

nina zenik: GUYS WE’VE BEEN SO BORING LATELY 

jesper fahey: AGREEEEEED

matthias helvar: i will be designated driver. 

inej ghafa: :) 

jesper fahey: thanks matty!!!! i'll be the designated drinker🤪🤪🤪🤪

wylan van eck: he’s been waiting to make that joke for a week. 

[inej ghafa & wylan van eck]

1:30 PM

inej ghafa: hey wy!

inej ghafa: want to drive with me and kaz to the play in a few weeks? 

inej ghafa: i was just realizing jes’ car will be at the theatre since he’ll be there already

wylan van eck: oh yeah thanks!!!

wylan van eck: it’s tough for us environmentally conscious legends 

inej ghafa: HA!

inej ghafa: honestly i like making kaz drive me around 

wylan van eck: me too

wylan van eck: when are we going again?

inej ghafa: first show is the 25th and then the next two days after that 

wylan van eck: you’re kidding.

inej ghafa: no?

inej ghafa: this is...not good

[jesper fahey & matthias helvar]

3:00 PM

matthias helvar: are babies allowed at the playhouse?

jesper fahey: mattyyyyyy

jesper fahey: yeah i don't see why not! 

matthias helvar: shall we have alys bring katerina with her then??

jesper fahey: good idea!

jesper fahey: i'll have wylan ask!

matthias helvar: oh i can do it!

matthias helvar: nina and i were babysitting for alys anyway so we’ll ask when she gets home!

jesper fahey: matty my boy are you and nina preparing to have a kid or something???

matthias helvar: well not yet 

matthias helvar: but one day sure 

jesper fahey: you guys are so cute goodbye 

matthias helvar: oh. goodbye then. 

jesper fahey: NO IT’S SLANG LMAOOOOOO

jesper fahey: I’M NOT ACTUALLY SAYING GOODBYE JUST EMPHASIZING MY POINT

matthias helvar: well while you’re here

matthias helvar: want to hear the baby names i have in my notes app?

matthias helvar: your father came up with such a cool unique name for you i thought you might have a good opinion on them 

[jesper fahey & nina zenik]

3:45 PM

jesper fahey: MF GIVE YOUR BF A KID RIGHT NOW HE IS GOING FERAL

nina zenik: BESTIE I AM 19 YEARS OLD WHAT ARE YOU ON

jesper fahey: TELL THAT TO YOUR BOY WITH ALL THE BABY NAMES IN HIS NOTES APP

nina zenik: oh we went through those the other day

nina zenik: his current fave is louve because it means wolf 

nina zenik: god only knows what that means 

jesper fahey: will you let me pick out this hypothetical kid’s clothes please?????

nina zenik: depends if im in the mood for my kid to look like they’re going to the 2019 met gala 

jesper fahey: I AM ALWAYS LOOKING CAMP STRAIGHT IN THE EYE 

nina zenik: that you are 

[nina zenik & kaz brekker]

5:00 PM

kaz brekker: nina. 

kaz brekker: send me the link to that album by the olivia rodrigo girl. 

kaz brekker: i need to talk to her lawyers immediately. i think she’s stolen words from my diary for lyrical purposes. 

nina zenik: i think i missed like 10 chapters of this story 

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

8:00 PM

jesper fahey: who’s ready to get drunk at nikolai's🤪🤪🤪🤪

nina zenik: YES BESTIE ME ALWAYS

inej ghafa: i could go for a drink

wylan van eck: me. 

nina zenik: YES WYLAN GET A LITTLE CRAZY BSF 

matthias helvar: it’s at nikolai’s new apartment! we should be respectful of his home. 

jesper fahey: nikolai’s apartment could get completely destroyed in one night and he would still be able to buy a new one without batting an eyelash 

inej ghafa: is that economically sound?

nina zenik: boss baby, fact check?

kaz brekker: the lanstov inheritances are large enough, yes. 

kaz brekker: now everyone venmo me for drinks or you’re all having water.

[chat with just inej❤️]

8:30 PM

inej ghafa: why did u send me back the $10 i venomed you for drinks!

kaz brekker: when i said everyone pay me i didn’t mean you

kaz brekker: i'll get yours obviously 

[baddest bitches alive]

8:34 PM

inej ghafa: is money a love language??

nina zenik: not technicallly? 

nina zenik: but i’d take that bread today and always😍

[six hot people]

9:30 PM

matthias helvar: is wylan...more drunk than he normally would be at a function? 

inej ghafa: it seems so

nina zenik: and even more than jes it feels like????

inej ghafa: i think he’s had a stressful week

nina zenik: and he looks like he’s having fun? 

matthias helvar: i’ve got pedilatye for the morning. 

jesper fahey: is nobody bringing up the fact that matty just called a party a “function” 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

10:00 PM

wylan van eck: jesssssssss where did you go

jesper fahey: i went to get you water wy

wylan van eck: ughhhhh i miss you come baaaaaack

wylan van eck: i wanna have s*x in the bathrooooooom

wylan van eck: or in one of the rooms with the nice beds

jesper fahey: DID YOU JUST SENSOR THE WORD SEX

jesper fahey: anyway i'll make fun of you for that in the morning 

jesper fahey: no wy you’re way too drunk

wylan van eck: but i’m stressed outttttt

wylan van eck: and my dad is the worst

wylan van eck: because i don’t even see him but i still have to handle his shit

wylan van eck: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

wylan van eck: come kiss me nowwwwww

jesper fahey: oh wy 

jesper fahey: i know

jesper fahey: i’m sorry

jesper fahey: want me to take you home? 

wylan van eck: yes please 

wylan van eck: will you sleep next to me please:(

jesper fahey: always 

[matty b raps & his cool ass friend]

10:15 PM

jesper fahey: thanks for keeping an eye on him

jesper fahey: i’m going to take him home before he gets sad drunk

matthias helvar: of course

matthias helvar: you haven’t been drinking right?

matthias helvar: i don't want you to drive if you have, i can take you home

jesper fahey: no no i'm sober

jesper fahey: wy started to get piss drunk before i could even think about taking a sip of anything 

jesper fahey: thought it would be best to just take care of him

matthias helvar: that’s sweet of you. 

jesper fahey: you do it with nina and you’re usually always right about being a good boyfriend

[baddest bitches alive]

11:00 PM

nina zenik: INEJJJJJ come dnce wjith meeeee 

nina zenik: abba is ooooooon

inej ghafa: be there in a minute!! :)

nina zenik: wherheeee wehyre youuu sall night 

inej ghafa: oh kaz was braiding my hair in nikolai’s room! 

nina zenik: OMGGGFFFF OKAYYYY KAZ IS A HAIRSTYLIST NOW !!!!

nina zenik: he should open up "boss baby brekker barber shop"😍😍😍😍

[matty b raps & his cool ass friend]

11:15 PM

matthias helvar: you made it home safe?

jesper fahey: yeah

jesper fahey: wylan’s fast asleep now 

matthias helvar: oh good

matthias helvar: when nina’s been drinking and she falls asleep she likes when i comb through her hair with my fingers 

matthias helvar: try it if you’d like

jesper fahey: JUST DID 

jesper fahey: HE JUST HUMMED IN HIS SLEEP LIKE A CUTE LITTLE CAT

jesper fahey: MATTY YOU’RE A GENIUS 

[six hot people]

10:00 AM

inej ghafa: morning everyone!! :) 

nina zenik: bestie where are you the dorm’s empty!

inej ghafa: me and kaz went for sober swag coffee 

jesper fahey: omg ur using the name i made up for it😍

kaz brekker: i do not call it that. 

matthias helvar: i was sober too!

matthias helvar: can i come next time?

[helnik!]

10:05 AM

nina zenik: matthias honey shhhh it's like a date for kaz and inej

matthias helvar: oh whoops i should have guessed that!

matthias helvar: let me cover my tracks 

[six hot people]

10:07 AM

matthias helvar: just kidding, i was very much under the influence of alcohol 

matthias helvar: very very drunk.

matthias helvar: so i do NOT want an invitation to coffee. 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

10:30 AM

wylan van eck: where did you go

jesper fahey: to get breakfast!

jesper fahey: brb, go back to sleep you haven’t been sleeping enough 

wylan van eck: i have!

jesper fahey: you sit next to me while i sleep and calculate finances 

jesper fahey: ur like kaz or smth

wylan van eck: okay but didn’t you have a crush on kaz ;) 

jesper fahey: BLOCKED AND REPORTED FOR DEFLECTING AND GIVING ME TRAUMA 

[wylan van eck & zoya nazyalensky]

11:00 AM

zoya nazyalensky: hey just reminding you of this weekend’s meetings 

wylan van eck: thanks!!

wylan van eck: will they go all day do you think?

zoya nazyalensky: hard to say

zoya nazyalensky: doubtful, but i wouldn’t make other plans just in case

[wylan van eck & inej ghafa]

12:00 PM

wylan van eck: hey just letting you know i'll find my way to the play this weekend!

wylan van eck: i have to go to meetings so i'll be coming from there 

inej ghafa: oh okay!

inej ghafa: when do your meetings run until?? we could probably just come grab you from them still

wylan van eck: no it’s okay 

wylan van eck: i don't have end times yet

inej ghafa: oh 

inej ghafa: so they could potentially run late then?

wylan van eck: zoya says she doubts it

inej ghafa: if you're sure

inej ghafa: sorry i really don’t mean to be a meddler 

inej ghafa: but should you maybe let jes know in case?

wylan van eck: no it’ll be fine

wylan van eck: he’ll stress out otherwise

wylan van eck: i’ll make it

Chapter Text

[six hot people]

9:00 AM

nina zenik: WHO’S EXCITED TO SEE JESPER BE FAMOUS ASF TONIGHT😍😍

nina zenik: to be or not to be lookin ass😍

jesper fahey: wrong play again but i'll let it slide😍😍😍😍

matthias helvar: very proud of you jesper. so excited to see all of your hard work pay off. 

jesper fahey: matty’s about to make me cry in the club

inej ghafa: i haven’t seen a play in such a long time, super excited :) 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

9:30 AM

jesper fahey: hey sorry to bug you i know you’re being a businessman this morning😍

jesper fahey: but do you want to come to the playhouse earlier today so i can get you a bomb balcony seat!!!!🗣

jesper fahey: boyfriends get to say hi backstage shakespeare told me himself 

wylan van eck: i can't

wylan van eck: won’t be done by then

jesper fahey: oh 

jesper fahey: ok no worries see you tonight in my mr darcy lookin outfit🤪🤪

jesper fahey: i love you 

wylan van eck: sorry i’m being so brief jes i've gtg 

wylan van eck: so busy 

wylan van eck: love you 

[besties from the barrel]

11:00 AM

inej ghafa: hiii!!!!!

jesper fahey: what 

inej ghafa: jesper! wtf :( 

inej ghafa: i wanted to take you for coffee before you left for the theatre today

jesper fahey: bestie i’m sorry 

jesper fahey: i’m being a bitch

jesper fahey: i’m just moody for no reason😍

inej ghafa: it’s okay

inej ghafa: how come?:( 

jesper fahey: it’s nothing

jesper fahey: just wishing i was getting more attention 

jesper fahey: esfp vibes

inej ghafa: i’m giving you attention!

jesper fahey: no like attention from my bf

inej ghafa: ohhhhhh i see

inej ghafa: well let’s see if an obnoxiously sugary frap from starbucks can’t cheer you up, yeah? 

[wylan van eck & inej ghafa]

12:00 PM

inej ghafa: hey wy 

inej ghafa: you’re sure you’re going to make it tonight, right? 

inej ghafa: and you’re sure you don’t need a ride? 

wylan van eck: yeah i'll be there 

wylan van eck: sorry inej i’ve g2g, got so many meetings 

wylan van eck: i'll see you later 

[colm fahey & jesper fahey]

3:00 PM

colm fahey: Hi son!!!! I am so excited to see you perform today!!🎭🎭🎭

jesper fahey: thanks da!!

colm fahey: Shall I come into the theatre with your friends when the time comes? 

jesper fahey: i think everyone’s driving separate

jesper fahey: i would ride with nina and matthias, they’ll be early i’d assume!

colm fahey: Perfect, will do!! See you soon Son!🥰

[alys van eck & jesper fahey]

5:00 PM

alys van eck: katerina and i are here!!! 

alys van eck: i think she can see you from the wings and keeps giggling :) 

alys van eck: break a leg, we both love you like family and are so proud of you!!❤️

jesper fahey: thank you both so much alys!!!

jesper fahey: when the show’s done i'll come out in costume for kit kat:) 

alys van eck: oh she would love that

alys van eck: see you in a few hours!!

[matty b raps & his cool ass friend]

5:06 PM

matthias helvar: jesper, wanted to send you this before i know your phone will be shut off! 

matthias helvar: we are all so proud of you, but i am especially proud of who you have become. you have found your passion and you’ve really stuck to it. you are an excellent person and i am so proud to call you one of my best friends. break a leg!!! -matthais 

jesper fahey: MATTHIAS WHAT THE FUCK I JUST STARTED CRYING 

[nina zenik & jesper fahey]

5:10 PM

nina zenik: MY FAVE BADDEST BITCH EVER

nina zenik: BREAK A LEG!!!

nina zenik: UR THE COOLEST EVER SHAKESPEARE WISHES HE WAS U

nina zenik: 4LYFERRRRR ILY

jesper fahey: NINERZ I LOVE U MORE THANK U😍😍

[kaz brekker & jesper fahey]

5:15 PM

kaz brekker: good luck. you are very loud and talkative so you must be good at acting. prove me right.

jesper fahey: kaz this is the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me 

[besties from the barrel] 

5:20 PM

inej ghafa: sending you so many hugs 

inej ghafa: you’ve got this!!!

inej ghafa: xoxo 

jesper fahey: my longtime bestie ilyyyyyy!!!

jesper fahey: i'll wink at you during final bows;) 

[colm fahey & jesper fahey]

5:25 PM

jesper fahey: hi da i’m about to turn my phone off now just so you know!

colm fahey: Ok Son!!! Break a leg!!! I am so proud of you!!! 

colm fahey: I know your mother would be too😄❤️

colm fahey: Anyway off you go!! 

jesper fahey: thank you da <3 

jesper fahey: did you find your seat by wylan okay? 

colm fahey: Oh I found the seat easily, yes!

colm fahey: But Wylan doesn’t seem to be next to me. 

jesper fahey: oh is he on the other side of inej then? i think he rode with her and kaz so maybe he just sat there

colm fahey: He isn’t anywhere in this row Son, I’m sorry. 

colm fahey: He must just be running late!!! Traffic is so atrocious at this time!🚖

colm fahey: Don’t stress out, he will be here!! Go have fun!

jesper fahey: you’re probaby right i guess 

jesper fahey: see you in a few hours 

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

8:00 PM

nina zenik: WYLAN VAN ECK IT IS INTERMISSION. WHERE ARE YOU.

[alys van eck & wylan van eck]

8:05 PM

alys van eck: hi wylan honey just checking to make sure you’re okay

alys van eck: kat is asking for you:) 

[colm fahey & wylan van eck]

8:15 PM

colm fahey: Hi son! We’re about to come back in from intermission, just want to make sure you are alright and aren’t having car troubles or anything?

colm fahey: I know it started raining early so I wanted to make sure you weren’t stranded anywhere!! 

[inej ghafa & wylan van eck]

8:15 PM

(missed call from inej ghafa)

8:16 PM

inej ghafa: oh wylan what did i tell you...:( 

[the one with braincells & jesper]

10:30 PM

(missed call from wylan van eck)

(missed call from wylan van eck)

(missed call from wylan van eck)

(missed call from wylan van eck)

(missed call from wylan van eck)

(missed call from wylan van eck)

(missed call from wylan van eck)

wylan van eck: jesper

wylan van eck: i am so sorry

wylan van eck: please answer me

wylan van eck: jes i’m sorry 

wylan van eck: i fucked up so bad

wylan van eck: i thought i’d make it on time

wylan van eck: i wasn't keeping track of time

wylan van eck: the meetings all ran so late

wylan van eck: i didn't even realize how long i’d be there

wylan van eck: jesper please

wylan van eck: i’m so sorry please talk to me

jesper fahey: it’s fine wylan

jesper fahey: you have a key to the dorm right? 

jesper fahey: i’m gonna spend the night at da’s hotel with him

wylan van eck: yes i have a key i-

wylan van eck: jesper please i’m so sorry 

wylan van eck: i love you so much (read at 10:40 PM)

Chapter Text

[the one with braincells & jesper]

10:00 AM

jesper fahey: will you be able to make either of the last two shows this weekend?

jesper fahey: i just need to know so i don’t reserve a seat for someone who isn’t coming.

wylan van eck: if these other meetings run as late as friday’s i don’t think so

wylan van eck: jes i’m so sorry

wylan van eck: i feel terrible 

jesper fahey: you’ve said that already 

wylan van eck: jes please 

wylan van eck: i wish i didn’t have to do any of this

wylan van eck: i wish i could have watched you on stage forever 

jesper fahey: but you couldn’t 

jesper fahey: so it doesn’t matter

wylan van eck: don’t say that

jesper fahey: wylan it’s fine i know you’re stressed out 

jesper fahey: i wouldn’t want to make it worse for you with more commitments 

wylan van eck: oh jes you have to know it’s not like that

jesper fahey: i have rehearsal, i've got to go 

jesper fahey: don’t worry about calling or anything i know you’re busy 

wylan van eck: jesper 

jesper fahey: i'll see you later 

wylan van eck: will you be home tonight? 

jesper fahey: i’m staying with da until he leaves on monday

wylan van eck: oh

wylan van eck: do you want me to pack you a bag? 

jesper fahey: no 

jesper fahey: i have stuff already

wylan van eck: okay

wylan van eck: i love you

[besties from barrel]

11:00 AM

inej ghafa: hi 

inej ghafa: how are you feeling 

jesper fahey: hot and sexy and cool as ever 

inej ghafa: okay 

inej ghafa: how are you actually feeling?

jesper fahey: fine

jesper fahey: bad 

jesper fahey: i don't know

inej ghafa: have you talked to wylan?

jesper fahey: a little 

inej ghafa: did he call?

jesper fahey: yeah like 7 times

inej ghafa: what did he say

jesper fahey: wouldn’t know i didn’t answer

inej ghafa: jesper! 

jesper fahey: inej what do you want me to say 

jesper fahey: i feel bad enough for being upset over all this

jesper fahey: because i know he’s got so much weight to carry and he didn’t mean to hurt me

jesper fahey: but he lied about it for no reason 

jesper fahey: and he wasn’t there 

jesper fahey: and i felt stupid the whole night because i knew he wasn’t coming but i looked for him in the crowd anyway 

jesper fahey: okay i’m done

inej ghafa: oh jesper you’re allowed to be upset 

inej ghafa: i’d feel the same way

inej ghafa: give yourself some time to feel sad, you’re allowed to do that sometimes you know!!

jesper fahey: thanks bestie

inej ghafa: don’t bestie me right now i’m being serious!

jesper fahey: no no 

jesper fahey: bestie (endearing)

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

11:30 AM

nina zenik: hi honey 

nina zenik: how are you 

wylan van eck: oh 

nina zenik: what?

wylan van eck: i thought everyone was upset with me 

nina zenik: what you did was very stupid 

nina zenik: but that’s between you and jes

nina zenik: you don’t fight with your boyfriend and lose friends at the same time 

wylan van eck: oh okay 

wylan van eck: well thank you <3

nina zenik: now

nina zenik: will you be at the two other shows?

wylan van eck: ...

wylan van eck: no 

wylan van eck: the meetings run so late nina 

wylan van eck: they don’t shut up 

wylan van eck: and i barely even know what they’re talking about

nina zenik: oh wylan

[chat with just inej❤️]

12:00 PM

kaz brekker: hi.

kaz brekker: do you want to come over?

inej ghafa: i would love to 

inej ghafa: but i've got a big psych test to study for 

inej ghafa: so i can’t say i’d be very interesting to hang out with 

kaz brekker: you’re always interesting. 

kaz brekker: you could just come over to study if you want 

kaz brekker: i’m quieter than nina at least 

inej ghafa: sure! 

inej ghafa: i'll leave my hair down in case you want to do anything with it while i read :) 

[baddest bitches alive]

12:20 PM

inej ghafa: nina 

inej ghafa: kaz keeps wild geraniums in his windowsill 

nina zenik: HUWFHUFHQERYUGFHIQOUERGHFYUQEHRGYHQERUIGHFIQUERHGFUQERBGFY

[six hot people]

6:00 PM

nina zenik: SEE YOU TONIGHT BESTIES!!!

nina zenik: JESPER GIVE US ANOTHER OSCAR-WORTHY PERFORMANCE PLEASE

jesper fahey: MF THAT’S THE TONY’S 

jesper fahey: BUT THANK U 

jesper fahey: XO SEE U LATER 

[jesper fahey & matthias helvar]

6:15 PM

matthias helvar: break a leg tonight jes 

matthias helvar: you were absolutely fantastic yesterday

jesper fahey: thank you matty you are constantly making me blush with your compliments

matthias helvar: i’m serious!

matthias helvar: i know it’s highly illegal and i feel a little guilty about it 

matthias helvar: but i recorded a little clip from the theatre last night to send to my sisters back home

matthias helvar: and they all said you are a perfect lysander! 

matthias helvar: i think my 14 year old sister has a crush on you now which is vaguely concerning, but never mind that 

matthias helvar: see you soon!!!

jesper fahey:  PLEASE LMAOOOOO I REALLY NEEDED TO LAUGH AT SOMETHING THANK YOU

[alys van eck & jesper fahey]

6:30 PM

alys van eck: break a leg tonight!! you were so wonderful on friday💞

alys van eck: katerina keeps asking for you now lol, you and wy will have to come and visit again soon! 

jesper fahey: thank you alys! <333

jesper fahey: we will!

alys van eck: oh and jesper 

alys van eck: i really don’t mean to be nosy 

alys van eck: i don't really know what happened with wylan on friday 

alys van eck: but jan’s meetings never used to run that late 

alys van eck: so i’d check up on him if you get the chance

[the one with braincells & jesper]

9:50 PM

wylan van eck: just got out of the meeting

wylan van eck: i’m sure you were amazing tonight❤️

wylan van eck: i'll see you at home

wylan van eck: or 

wylan van eck: i guess i’ll see you when i see you

[besties from the barrel]

10:30 PM

jesper fahey: i miss him

inej ghafa: jes

inej ghafa: go back to your dorm then

jesper fahey: i can't

jesper fahey: i’m still so upset with him 

jesper fahey: and it’s too hard to see him sad 

jesper fahey: like it actually physically pains me inej wtf is that

inej ghafa: i don’t mean to be cheesy jesper

inej ghafa: but i think that’s probably love

[colm fahey & wylan van eck]

10:35 PM

colm fahey: Hi Son, just wanted to let you know that Jesper is asleep in my hotel room now.

colm fahey: I thought you might want to know that he’s safe, and if I know my son, he is probably ignoring you. 

colm fahey: He’ll come around, just give him some time.

[nina zenik & wylan van eck]

11:00 PM

wylan van eck: can i come stay in your room tonight?

wylan van eck: it’s too quiet and cold in mine 

nina zenik: wy of course

nina zenik: but inej is in kaz’s room and i’m in matthias’, so come over here! 

[wylan van eck & matthias helvar]

11:15 PM

matthias helvar: what kind of ice cream do you like?

wylan van eck: strawberry 

wylan van eck: why?

matthias helvar: before nina and i started dating we got into a fight over something i can’t even remember now. ice cream was helpful

wylan van eck: oh 

wylan van eck: thank you matthias

matthias helvar: jesper will come around wylan 

matthias helvar: he loves you too much not to

matthias helvar: all you can do is your best to make it better

Chapter Text

[helnik!]

8:00 AM

matthias helvar: i'll pick you up in 30 minutes for breakfast<3

nina zenik: perfect❤️

matthias helvar: also dear

matthias helvar: this spring break my sisters want me to come home to visit

matthias helvar: and they’re dying to meet you

matthias helvar: would you like to come?

nina zenik: MATTHIAS YES

nina zenik: I WOULD LOVE TO 

nina zenik: I’VE BEEN WANTING TO MEET YOUR SISTERS

matthias helvar: okay i'll let them know:) 

matthias helvar: i love you

nina zenik: i love you more 

matthias helvar: not possible

[chat with just inej❤️]

8:30 AM

inej ghafa: want to get breakfast? 

kaz brekker: sure 

kaz brekker: and perhaps you can also tell me what nonsense is happening with wylan and jesper. 

inej ghafa: oh well wylan wasn’t at the play because his meetings ran late 

inej ghafa: but he didn’t tell jes that

inej ghafa: i'll explain more later

kaz brekker: what time did wylan’s meetings start? 

inej ghafa: i’m not sure, i think around 11 AM

kaz brekker: it is quite impossible that an estate meeting would run that long, unless an extraneous inconvenience was at play. 

inej ghafa: so you think wylan lied about the meetings all together?

kaz brekker: no. 

kaz brekker: i don't doubt that they exist and are tedious. 

kaz brekker: but there’s something he’s not mentioning. 

[six hot people]

9:45 AM

nina zenik: JESPER ARE WE INVITED TO THE AFTER PARTY FOR CLOSING NIGHT

nina zenik: OR IS IT JUST FOR THEATRE KIDS🤪🤪🤪

jesper fahey: mf it’s at nikolai’s house obviously everyone’s invited 

nina zenik: how does this man manage to do everything like isn’t he already a double major

jesper fahey: YEAH IDK EITHER

jesper fahey: versatile king

matthias helvar: would everyone like to carpool in my car? 

matthias helvar: i can be designated driver again

inej ghafa: sure! i can pay you gas money 

matthias helvar: nonsense

matthias helvar: i don't mind

nina zenik: he also doesn’t know how to work venmo. 

kaz brekker: well i do. you know the drill. send me money for drinks. 

[alys van eck & wylan van eck]

10:30 AM

alys van eck: hi wy just wanted to see how your estate meetings have been going?

alys van eck: i can imagine they’re stressful if they run so late into the night :( 

wylan van eck: they’re alright 

alys van eck: wylan. you can be honest with me

alys van eck: you know you are my next priority next to kat 

wylan van eck: there’s just...so many documents 

wylan van eck: and so much stuff 

wylan van eck: i feel like i’m getting a receding hairline just thinking about it

alys van eck: don’t manifest that!! you have great hair!!

alys van eck: but i’m sorry :( 

wylan van eck: the good news is that i've made sure you have rights to anything in the house that you want and feel you deserve ownership over

wylan van eck: that’s all i actually care about with all of this to be honest 

alys van eck: oh wylan you’re very sweet 

alys van eck: have you discussed where any of your mother’s heirlooms will go?

alys van eck: i’m sorry 

alys van eck: that’s none of my business 

wylan van eck: no it’s okay

wylan van eck: i think i’ll keep them for now

alys van eck: oh good💞💞

alys van eck: i know i never met her

alys van eck: but she would be so proud of you wylan

wylan van eck: i hope so

alys van eck: oh absolutely 

alys van eck: if she’d be even half as proud as me

alys van eck: then she loved you a whole lot

wylan van eck: thank you alys 

wylan van eck: i love you and katerina so much 

wylan van eck: say hi to her for me? 

alys van eck: of course!! we love you too!!

alys van eck: i’ve told jesper that you two should come up and visit us for spring break if you’d like 

wylan van eck: i hope so

alys van eck: oh i’ve forgotten you two are fighting

alys van eck: he’ll come around 

[kaz brekker & wylan van eck]

11:00 AM

kaz brekker: wylan. what time does your meeting start?

wylan van eck: in an hour, why?

kaz brekker: do you trust me with your estate and finances?

wylan van eck: i-

wylan van eck: yes 

wylan van eck: do you mean theoretically?

kaz brekker: no. 

kaz brekker: i mean do you trust me in this moment to handle this meeting for you?

wylan van eck: kaz

kaz brekker: just answer my question

wylan van eck: yes