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Ainosuke's first significant approach to love (the real kind, not the sick version of it his family had been imparting him since he was a child) had been rather unexpected. He had always been overly receptive to intimacy gestures, especially when they were stolen in the big hallways of his mansion, between one of the younger butlers and the maid who usually served the young master breakfast every morning. He knew that there were officially married couples among the serving staff of his family, but he had always been more interested in the ones that, for one reason or another, resorted to hidden corners and rooms. He caught how that girl spared that young butler soft smiles and gentle caresses to his hand whenever the two of them were in close proximity. After a while, he also had never failed to notice how the young man usually stroked the maid’s back lovingly, or how he allowed himself to trace the features of her face with his thumb when he thought no one was watching. Ainosuke was, admittedly, jealous of such closeness. From his relatives, he couldn’t hope to have such tender attention (and he had been scolded several times for even asking it), and, of course, among the staff, there was no one willing to indulge the young boy’s lack of affection, too afraid of being fired by the head of the family. Luckily for him, though, there was a notable exception in his father’s super attractive secretary.
Ainosuke’s curiosity for the maid and the butler couple of his mansion led him to catch them being overly affectionate during one morning. He had woken up early and thus headed for breakfast earlier than usual. Just before entering the dining room, he had caught a glimpse of that familiar butler, hand in hand with his favorite maid, who was giggling profusely. Silently following them, he found the couple had turned a corner not so far away from where he was. The man was hovering over the maid, effectively shielding her from Ainosuke’s view. However, the sounds and the sweet words they were exchanging were unmistakable for the young boy. He, of course, hadn’t been able to experience them first hand yet, but he had surely watched enough material from the internet to at least grasp what had been going on.
That was why he thought he was going to die when Tadashi, having spotted him in the garden, grabbed his wrist and dragged him behind one of the bushes.
“Tadashi, I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” Ainosuke said in a whisper, his breathing suddenly going erratic at all the implications. Tadashi didn’t look at him, too busy glancing around to hear the other’s words, who, from his part, was desperately trying to form coherent thoughts while following his older friend.
But what if Tadashi took his rejection the wrong way? He would have gone away from him and looked for another party to smooch. Or, maybe, just a purely hypothetical question that Ainosuke didn’t totally hope would happen in reality: would he have forced him into a kiss? Like, trapping him between the wall and his taller body, grabbing his chin, preventing him from looking away, and having his way with him. Ainosuke didn’t know where that thought had formed. It was probably just a projection of his desires, mixed with a bit of fantasy and the hormones of a teenager, of the scene with the servants he had seen earlier. That butler had been restraining his woman, in some ways. She seemed okay with it, though. He wondered if Tadashi (the same Tadashi who was so sweet to him, tending to his every wound whenever he fell off from his board) would even be able to do such a thing. Unless in that situation it didn’t really matter because just the thought of the older boy’s lips on his made his mind go numb.
Okay, maybe he was ready to kiss Tadashi. He was in high school already and, honestly, among the people he knew, Tadashi had been the most obvious choice all along.
Ainosuke felt his knees go weak when the dark-haired boy turned a corner and pushed him softly against the bush.
“Okay, I think I can do it. I’m ready for you, Tadashi.” He whispered again. Tadashi didn’t seem receptive enough, because he kept glancing back.
“I think no one saw us.” The older man simply stated. Ainosuke nodded in agreement and squirmed in anticipation. He glanced at the bush behind him, slightly concerned. That thing didn’t even remotely have the same stability of a wall, so how was Tadashi planning on claiming his mouth? Ainosuke felt like that was an important issue to be addressed, and he was about to speak up, when Tadashi finally looked at him, emerald eyes fixed on his face. Ainosuke tried not to look away or to appear too embarrassed. He needed Tadashi to know that he wanted this too, his previous thoughts about not being ready long forgotten. He tried to sustain the other’s gaze as much as he could, while watching Tadashi furrowing his brows, probably deciding the amazing way he was going to capture his lips. Now that he was looking at him, especially after being prompted to think about Tadashi that way (not that he didn't spare some thoughts about that topic before) he was indeed realizing how beautiful he really was. Slightly taller than him (though that gap used to be dramatically bigger when they were younger, Ainosuke fondly remembered), with that mysterious but gentle gaze. His dark hair, in contrast with his light green eyes. Ainosuke wondered whether he would be able to touch, or maybe even kiss the beauty mark under Tadashi’s eyes. The younger boy’s mind was still going wild with countless scenarios when he noticed the other closing the distance between them. Ainosuke could feel the other's knees grazing his own. Even if he wanted to back off now, it was too late. He wondered if Tadashi would become more forceful, had he shown some kind of resistance.
'Ainosuke-sama, please behave.' Tadashi would have said, while smoothly holding his chin with firm hands, not allowing him to look away and escape the kiss. Ainosuke knew very well that love was supposed to hurt, and he wanted Tadashi to hurt him as much as he could. The younger man wondered if Tadashi would laud him after ravaging his mouth.
'Those pretty lips taste so good, young master. I crave more.' Just the sound of Tadashi's voice whispering those words in Ainosuke's mind was enough to make him dazed.
In the meantime, the real Tadashi's hands easily reached the collar of his uniform shirt, grabbing it. Ainosuke thought that he should probably close his eyes for his first kiss. He smelled the familiar scent of Tadashi’s soap and held his breath, feeling the warm closeness of the other’s body. He slightly parted his lips, to give him more access.
And then nothing happened.
Tadashi’s hands had fumbled with his shirt, even buttoning it up from its loose earlier state. What was Tadashi doing? He was supposed to undo his shirt while slamming his tall body against his, not closing it even more. They were supposed to get hot and heavy in a remote corner of his garden, with Tadashi's hands wandering all over his chest. How was Tadashi supposed to leave hickeys on the soft skin of Ainosuke's neck if that damn shirt collar was in the way? After everything that Ainosuke had thought up until that moment, just the feeling of the other’s hands on his clothed skin sent shivers through all of his body. He swallowed nervously. Tadashi looked at him, a bit puzzled.
“Pardon my rudeness, Ainosuke-sama. Your uniform was a bit disheveled, and you told me that the senior master got mad the last time you didn’t wear it properly. Now it's fixed again, so you don't have to worry.”
Tadashi's satisfied remark reached Ainosuke's ears and he could only widen his eyes at the sight of the other simply walking away from him, probably to return to his daily duties. The younger boy passed a hand to his hair, and then stroked his cheeks for a bit, to recover his composure.
He definitely should not have missed that amazing chance to kiss his father's hot secretary.