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There’s a strange aura surrounding Percy Jackson. One of irritation, confusion, and hopelessness. He looks pathetic, almost as he stands outside Bunker 9 in the pouring rain— not bothering to deflect the pesky raindrops sticking to his hair and clothes. Rain. Percy could bring it to a halt around him with the tiniest flick of his wrist. And yet, the renowned demigod allows himself to appear powerless before Leo Valdez, who seems semi-annoyed by the fact that he had to open up the Bunker for Percy.
Maybe that visible vulnerability is why the young mechanic feels so hesitant to let the tamer of the seas into his workshop. Or maybe it’s because his knees are beginning to buckle at the sight of fine muscle poking through a damp t-shirt.
“Dude, you’re gonna get hypothermia.” Leo motions for Percy to enter with a wavering hand, an exaggerated sigh escaping his lips. A ‘what am I going to do with you?’ kind of sigh.
“Nice seeing you too.” Percy shoots back in a sarcastic tone, walking past the disheveled boy in the grease stained button-up. He pretends not to notice the tremble in Leo’s hands or the hyper-fixation in his chaotic gaze. “You been working on anything lately?”
Weird. Leo can’t help but awkwardly rub the back of his neck with his hand. So, they aren’t going to discuss the reasoning behind the sudden visit? “Nothing in particular. Lots of unfinished projects, blueprints, failures.”
“Biggest fail this week?”
“A pocket sized Easy-Bake Oven.”
“That’s fucking sick.”
“I got minor food poisoning several times, but thanks.”
The laughter doesn’t last long. It dissipates into the thick, stuffy air around them. They’re stuck in a tense, uncertain silence.
“Why are you here, Percy?” Leo finally gathers the courage to speak up, though he finds it difficult to stare into those intense, sea-green eyes.
“It’s Valentine’s Day.”
“Oh, right.”
“I didn’t want to see her.” Percy spits out, scuffing his shoes against the floor.
God, it makes Leo’s blood boil with jealousy. Annabeth. It always comes back to Annabeth Chase. Her and her curly blonde hair, steel gray eyes, wit, cunning, and deadly gaze. She’s the ultimate demigod dreamboat. A scary dreamboat, but one nonetheless.
“Yeah, yeah I get it. It’s still hard.” He turns away from Percy, deciding his desk was in need of a quick dusting. “You can’t avoid her forever, though.”
“Y’know, I just kinda barged in here. You shouldn’t have to deal with all this so, uh, if you want, I’ll see myself out.”
Leo raises his hands up, stopping Percy Jackson before he can break into a self-destructive ramble. Yes, it can become repetitive. The heartbreak, the guilt, the few minutes of satisfaction before Leo’s plunged back into a dark closet. But, he’s not a shitty friend. He’s not a shitty, quote-on-quote ‘lover’. He knows how emotions work (despite how confusing and annoying they can be). He knows they need time, and they certainly need to be heard. Over and over and over again. Even when it hurts.
“You gotta stop leaving me in the dust, man. I told you I’d always be here for you and that’s not changing any time soon. Got it? So sit your ass down, you’re all good. You can hide here.”
A scowl tugs at the corners of Percy’s lips. He doesn’t understand why Leo works so hard to keep him in his life. If anything, Leo should be running away before Percy breaks him too. One way or another, it all ends with someone getting hurt.
“Why are you cooped up here?” Percy chooses to turn a blind-eye to Leo’s reassurance. “Shouldn’t you be, I dunno, on a date?”
“You’re funny.”
“What? People at camp like you.”
“Yeah, because they have a ‘savior of the world’ fetish.” Leo murmurs, pushing his sleeves up his forearms as he walks past Percy, a determined look on his face as he begins to sort through blueprints for who knows what invention.
It’s oddly familiar. Percy remembers a blonde girl hunched over an annoyingly organized desk, white pen scribbling on navy paper— drawing a series of intricate designs. Messy curls framed her face while she chewed on her lips and sighed. Now, he watches a curly-haired brunette boy hover over a pile of incomplete thoughts. He has materials scattered everywhere, but seems to know where everything is, all while he clenches his jaw and inhales sharply.
It makes Percy’s head roar with the ferocity of a hurricane.
“I came here because I didn’t want to be alone.” Percy blurts out. He isn’t sure why. Maybe it’s because he’s finding it unbearable to just keep watching. Maybe he’s just sick of reminiscing.
It takes a few seconds for the words to register in Leo’s brain. His focus is torn away from him, and he finds himself stuck staring at Percy.
“Well, you’re not alone right now.”
“I don’t want to be alone tonight, Leo.”
There’s a slight hitch in the mechanic’s breathing.
“You hear me? I don’t want to be alone.” Percy feels like he’s going to tear himself into pieces. If he doesn’t do something, he might go insane.
“What’ll happen when I let you?” Leo questions, watching Percy’s clever green eyes darken. They’re so, very dark now.
“When?”
“You need me to repeat it?”
It’s never played out like this before. They’ve never been so direct, so flirtatious with their lonesome yearning. It’s new. Exciting, sure. But lonely in every single way. They’re so fucking lonely.
“You won’t regret it.” Percy mutters his confused, hungry response. He’s starving.
The calm before the storm comes in the form of sheepish kisses & boyish touches. Palms moving slowly against skin, lips barely pushing boundaries. The rustle of clothing can still be heard. Shoulders shiver as hair is tenderly played with. Words of yearning and affection are murmured in each other’s ears. It’s so slow and innocent and wrong. It’s wrong. Leo has to beg for it to finally take off, for his own sake. He can’t bear to stew in the shame that comes with their intimacy. Percy doesn’t seem to understand the depth nor the weight of Leo’s pleas. But nevertheless, he’s content to give in.
The storm is violent. So, so fucking violent. Leo can’t help but grin at how rough it all is. Percy’s brow is furrowed with determination to push through. They have to navigate through the tempest and achieve tranquility once again.
Leo’s back arches, his hips buckle and give out. His thighs twitch. His mouth is dry, he has to keep working to replenish it. Percy grabs, teases, and tortures. He slows and quickens as he pleases. He kisses where he wants. He licks where he wants. He bites where he wants. The freedom, the dominance that has been handed to him— it’s so liberating. So right.
He flips Leo over, watching him fall apart. And Leo, unapologetically, gives him quite the show. In return, as if to thank him for giving him that high, Leo gets on his knees. Percy can’t remember much else except a blur. It’s all so blurry, so perfect.
“You still feel lonely, Jackson?”
Percy gives himself pause. Yes, yes he does. He feels like he’s going through life with a heavy weight in his chest. The one that currently heaves, struggling to breathe. Though he is here, hand locked in Leo’s mess of soft curls— he has never felt so alone in his life. Leo doesn’t seem to reciprocate that feeling. He tends to feel the emptiness after Percy’s left. It’s so obvious, despite how hard Leo tries to bury the truth.
Percy gets on his knees too, not even sure of what he’s doing. But he finds himself kissing Leo. Promptly, correctly. Chests press up against one another, marking them as equals, just for a moment. He lets his tongue explore with patience, his lips attentive to Leo’s reciprocation.
Leo’s face burns harshly. His whole body feels hot with willingness and unfamiliarity. Even so, he places himself in Percy’s hands. He’s too trusting, too naive. He kisses Percy like he’s the love of his life. Maybe in a way, he is. Maybe. Somehow. Some way.
“Do you still feel lonely, Valdez?”
A beat of silence. A ragged breath. Red cheeks. Moving hands.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Me too.”
Percy picks Leo up, only to push him down against a desk— sending papers flying. And though Leo would, usually, lose his cool in response, there’s something about Percy’s fingers gently caressing his throat that distracts him.
Percy Jackson looms above the fragile boy, his vision hazy from both pain & pleasure. This world is shit. His life is shit. He’s shit. And yet, he feels so good right now. He feels alive and invigorated, wanting to indulge himself in every sweet sound and touch. Maybe it was selfish of him, or cruel. But he needs this. He craves it. Even if he feels hollow. Especially, then. Because there are no other solutions. There is no saving him from this cruel destiny of his.
“I don’t want to feel lonely with you.” Leo murmurs, more so to himself than to Percy. “I want you.”
But there’s no response. Their bodies are moving once again, and there is no end to their loneliness.