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6am, Gabriel woke up to the sound of his alarm ringing. "You'd think in the twenty-first century they'd invent something that wasn't a total annoyance when waking you up" he muttered. This was it, years of studying and working random teaching jobs to make ends meet led up to this. At the age of 35 he could finally become a professor and blabber on about his passion for a particular history to students who probably didn't care and only took his class for some requirement. Gabriel got up, showered then put on what he had long planned to wear. His interests didn't lie so much for first impressions through looks, more so leaning towards impressing others by his skill and prowess alone. Perhaps it may have been one of his weaknesses to be such an overconfident bastard or a blessing as it had saved him from allowing others to overshadow his talent. By the time he made it to his new job, a staff member showed him around and explained where everything went and how everyone moved. His specific department was a lonely one (again not a subject people enjoy willingly) and there was only one other professor with him. “Great” was his first thought, “one more annoying wretch to get in my way”. A newfound annoyance grew within him at the thought of once again being somebody's subordinate. Of course, there would always be admins and overseers, but he desired something to himself where people would look up to him and know that he alone was needed for the job. Once again, an extra, a pawn. That feeling of being expendable came back… came back from where? When was he expendable? He wanted to be desired but most of all, he wished to be needed. It was as if all his life and even beyond that he was only a toy in a master’s game. Getting along with others wasn't exactly his strong suit either. Within the life he built up there were some friends but none very close and none brought satisfaction. Failures also ensued in the romantic relationship category as well, he was by no means celibate or scared and was acquainted with laying along men and women yet never truly was fulfilled by one person. No matter how old, young, rich, poor, uncaring, or devoted they all didn't work. There was simply a desire for something or someone that he could never satisfy. Time for thinking was up and dozing off while being led by the staff member proved to be challenging. The woman droned on and on about random information that would never be used. There was no use in reminiscing about past failures and current loneliness.
At last, arrival to the meeting room, where he was to be collaborating with his fellow history snob. Upon entering his eyes darted to the stacks upon stacks of books mainly about California in the early 19th century mixed in with other books on past Spanish armies and a probably illegal to have on campus bottle of expensive wine. There was a large desk right in front of a window that took in much sunlight and gave off an imposing and terrifying mood. Its woodwork was not of the 21st century nor the last, in fact its condition was by no means proper. There were burns mark all around and It seemed to be in a form of disrepair which had no purpose in being repaired.
That initial impression led him to believe that his new partner was a maniac who may have been a little too interested in what he taught. “I mean just how much did he spend on that damn desk that’s been sent to hell and back!”, Gabriel thought.
“Well, that’s my que! Good luck Professor Gabriel!”
“Professor Gabriel…. It has a nice ring to it”, he sneered.
The staff member left him to wait in the room giving way to the anxiety that he might be forced to leave his new job after dealing with an obsessive psycho who wants to share their "passion" of teaching. As the minutes went by Gabriel grew bored and took the risk of going through the books and stopped at one which highlighted the defeats of the Spanish army. It was a topic that captivated him since he was a child and was what made him take up fencing as a sport much to the dismay of his parents. Something about it made him feel as though he was once there. His eyes moved through the pages and saw every trial and tribulation faced by the army in California. The largest section of which was dedicated to Zorro, the straw that broke the camel’s back. A singular rebel managed to be the end to what was considered one of the greatest armies in the world. Their corruption was, however, obvious and details of it validated much of Zorro’s purpose. Gabriel wondered if he would have supported Zorro and thought that the people who blindly followed a bandit with a hidden identity were quite stupid. They were a mob in the end, all sheep need a Shepard. Finally, in a heavily highlighted section no longer than 2 pages there were some biographies of soldiers, mainly higher-ranking ones. "Captain Jekyll" was the first he found, and he mocked the long-gone man for living just long enough to see California go to the United States in 1850 and Mexico beforehand in 1821 probably putting him out of a job and the peoples favor. At the very end he found 2 soldiers a lieutenant and commander who were taken down and exposed as corrupt people. He found himself drawn towards this section and could not put the book down. Inside of this section lay the speculation and unexplainable sector.
"Some notes were found that the two wrote to one another, many of which with heavily loving connotation, some also included references to sleeping next to each other......... it has led us to believe military life may have allowed men to form more brotherly bonds that lasted lifetimes....... life was hard back then even for soldiers and sometimes you just need a friend to guide you by the hand and show you the path."
"Oh my god they were roommates!" Gabriel laughed to himself as he read over what many historians had done to historical figures biographies for fear of backlash from some not so happy people. Though as the door cracked open, he immediately straightened himself up and did his best to conceal his laughter and the fact he had opened a book that didn't belong to him. Gabriel hoped the nutjob of a professor wouldn't go crazy for "ruining this precious article".
“Ah I see you've taken an interest in my collection.”
The man chuckled.
He appeared almost identical to the picture of the commander Gabriel had just read about, Gabriel instantly felt captivated by him, yet something felt so very off. The man appeared not much older than himself, was well dressed and very well spoken, clearly having some decent amount of money behind him. Even with his second brain thinking for him, Gabriel tried focusing more on the part that he wasn't being choked to death.
“Ah- well yes sir! I'm the new professor in your department. My name is Gabriel!”
At the sound of his name, Gabriel could instantly see the change in the other man's face. He went from the usual fake smile one gives to new associates to being so heavily interested. It seemed almost like watching a child develop a crush in the span of a few seconds. Wonderful, the crazy book man didn't want to execute him!
“Ah a pleasure to meet you Gabriel, I'm Raymond the head of, and well up until now only member of this history department.”
“Oh no sir the pleasures all mine.”
“Please, just call me Raymond.”
“Uh, sure”
“So do you have any questions?”
“Well yes quite a few but in not really sure where to begin and well I know it’s kind of late I don’t want to stop you from teaching and taking care of your work.”
He managed a smile and hoped to not come off as a weakling while stumbling through every word that came out of his mouth.
“Why don't you meet me at the Café down the street after my shift ends? That way I can speak to you about how I work, and we can cooperate easier. You won't be in any rush and I will have as much time as possible to explain whatever you'd need. It would be a perfect deal for both of us.”
Gabriel seemed stunned for a minute as this was exactly what he had in mind. “Don't tell me this man actually proposed this when just meeting after his class would have sufficed”, Gabriel’s head spun inside its own speculations. Though he felt suspicious that the man knew something that he didn't.
“Ah sure! Though I'm not very well acquainted with this side of town, so you'd have to tell me a bit more on where we're going. May I have your number to communicate with you?”
“But of course!”
Gabriel sat down at the table to the Café waiting to meet his fellow professor, he arrived earlier than the planned time in the hopes that he could get some final thoughts in and prepare for what was to come. Staring blankly, he couldn't help but think to himself that the professor he met had an odd sense of familiarity. That odd emptiness that dug holes inside his head seemed slightly filled when speaking to the man beneath him.
It was almost as if, he had met him sometime long ago, perhaps, it was that man he always saw in his dreams.
Oh, so many dreams of his included a man with a face he couldn't make out. He'd see the man huddled against him one day, then screaming at him the next and suddenly he would be grabbing the man by the waist and kissing him for what seemed as though forever.
Those dreams provided the base for his empty feeling and his own stubbornness gave way to bad methods of dealing with it all.
“Ah you're quite early!”
Gabriel's thoughts were cut off when he heard that voice again. He managed a pleasant smile and a simple comment along the lines of
"It’s always good to be prepared.".
The other man sat down and let out a sigh of relief.
“You look quite well rested; I assume everything else went fine in your transfer?”
“Oh yes!”
“Magnificent!”
The small talk continued until Raymond got to the point.
"So, what questions do you have?"
“I wanted to know what exactly we'd be working on together, and what freedoms I have.”
The thin professor simply thought for a moment and asked once again.
"What exactly is it that you want?"
“I just want to be your equal that’s all. It shouldn't be that hard to share the limelight. If not, then leave me be and I'll leave you be. I’d prefer to not be held down as all.”
Gabriel once again noticed an instant change in the man.
“No no, I'd love to work with you. I understand you don’t want to be pushed around.”
“It was almost as if he was pleading for me to work with him. Don't tell me he has a crush on me…. Though I can’t say I don’t want that either. He’s acting like a little girl.... not that I'm much better off stuttering with every sentence.” Gabriel’s thoughts made it hard to focus on the world around him.
The conversation went on with more questions, most of which were just Gabriel setting up his boundaries and hoping to show off to a guy he had just met but fancied heavily. As the questions drew near a close Gabriel thought of one last thing to say
He often had a single dream where he would flirt with the man that haunted him and thought maybe he could give it a chance. The man always cracked up and seemed to enjoy it. Then again, they were still only dreams, and this was a man he just met. He got comfortable and allowed his cockiness to take control allowing him to speak,
"You know, I'd love to run my fingers through your hair and jam my tongue through your mouth."
“Gabriel, l...”
The smaller man stopped almost as if pondering what to say. His face seemed to be in both utter shock and glee.
Gabriel began yelling at himself inside his head.
“Shit.... I overstepped my boundaries. This random man who I just met probably thinks I'm some creep who's gonna kidnap him. DAMNIT! Why am I so stupid? How did I actually think this could work? I just absolutely blew my chances with this guy AND am probably gonna lose my job! THINK IDIOT THINK!”
Gabriel spoke once again hoping to salvage some kind of conversation.
“I-I’m sorry if that was out if the blue, I just absolutely had to get that off my chest ha-ha-ha I mean you no harm at all. I just think you’re very attractive again I’m sorry!”
Gabriel found himself apologizing over and over for what seemed to be the biggest mistake of his life. Years of study, wasted on a single sentence!
Finally, Raymond in a bright smile came to a decision.
“Gabriel, you've used that before. And you're still as much of a bumbling fool as ever.”
“I-I wait, what? Used it before?”
“Oh, you don’t remember....
I'm sorry just ignore what I said.”
At that moment, Gabriel was certain that his dreams had taken place maybe not now but years before. That man, it was definitely the one he always saw, he knew about that line he always said! The voice, the looks, the way he held himself tall. It was him!
“No wait!”
Think Gabriel! You have to remember something, a name, a place, something! The Spanish Army, 19th century……. The Commander!
“Commander Raymond?”
Gabriel judged the look of surprise on the other man's face.
“You... you do remember me!”
That’s right! That’s its Gabriel! And I.... I was that lieutenant... the one from the book of course! My dreams of fighting and riding in uniform! They make sense!
“And I was your loyal lieutenant, to the bitter end.”
The two fell silent and then Raymond spoke.
“You don’t know how long I've been searching for you, and when I finally saw you, I thought you had forgotten about me. Or maybe you just didn’t want to see me. For years I read through novels and stories, feeling as though I was missing something until I finally realized what it was.”
The ex-commander averted his gaze.
Gabriel moved his chair closer to Raymond and began to speak.
“I could never forget you; you know that. Even if it took me a while to remember, I still knew I was missing something too. That constant yelling at me for failing everything!”
Gabriel placed his hands on the commanders’ hands, gently squeezing them. He felt a strange warmth lingering when he did it, those dreams really did have some sense in them. A partnership with someone hidden away from the world, and a face long gone from
his head by the time he died. Or maybe his anger and sadness melted that face away in hopes of curing the pain.
“Now were here, with no military and no Zorro. You won't be able to yell at me for not catching some 18-year-old rebel with a child as a companion.”
“Yes, its peaceful and yes you sadly don't have as many opportunities to be a disappointment to me this time around. Though your failures never ceased to amuse me.”
Raymond too inched closer, putting his head on Gabriel's shoulder.
“Hey! You know I was better than you at fencing! “
That’s right! I was a soldier! The best in the army! Hell, I should've been captain!
“I'm just joking you overconfident fool, in fact....”
The room was silent once again for a few minutes.
Gabriel did not want to speak, whether years ago or now he knew to let the commander think and not be interrupted.
At last, an answer came.
“I wanted to apologize. “
“What?”
“By the end of it all, I neglected you and destroyed what we had. I shouldn't have left you alone. That last day especially, letting you go was the biggest mistake. Ever since I remembered it all, it was the only thing I regretted. I would damn all those people I killed back to hell again if need be. I'd take the taxes out of anyone's hands and spend it on my own indulgences. But.... I will not and cannot let you go again.”
“I'm honored that you won't be flaying me alive for not carrying out the job you wanted.
It’s in the past, we live here and now. We can forget about past failures.”, Gabriel joked.
“Hey, why don't you come back to my place like before?”
“So, I can relax after one hell of a day? Gladly.”
“Just come now and "forget" your nightwear and I’ll let you borrow whatever you'd like out of my clothes like before.”
“You remember that too?”
“How could I forget? Those shirts were always so big on you, they looked like dresses! You're still as short as ever ha-ha.
Not to mention it was your fault for "forgetting" them!”
“Ok that’s enough out of you, let's just get going!”
“Aye aye captain.”
“Oh, and one more thing.”
“Yes?”
Gabriel leaned in and grabbed Raymond by the chin,
“This time you aren't my commander. This time were standing on the same ground, got it?”
Gabriel expected an unpleasant taunt or reaction, but he received none.
“Sure.”
He once again noticed the Amusement on Raymond’s face when his surprise at the answer began to show. He was less surprised however when a pair of lips met his and he returned the gesture.
“Oh, right I forgot we can do that now!”
Raymond found it hard to hide his laughter and barely managed to squeak by a “Of course we can do that now!”
That pleasant warmth returned to their heads, and both remembered feeling just as much pleasure as all those years back. The feeling of those lips could never leave Gabriel’s mind, and he was grateful that it had been that way.
“My.... you live quite a boring life here, there's nothing of interest at all!”
“Maybe all those books you obsess over would make a nice addition to my “boring life.””
“What are you planning this time?”, Raymond sighed.
“I’m planning to ask you to come live here with me.”
“And die of boredom?”
“Yes- well…”
Raymond found much pleasure in watching Gabriel fumble over his words.
It seems your ability to sense sarcasm hasn’t improved at all. I’d love to stay. It’ll save me a lot of trouble as well with paying my bills.”
He took a look at Gabriel who seemed visibly hurt at the thought of his lover only caring about some material issue. The gruff man never changed; his emotions were so easily manipulated.
“But the most important thing is that I can live with you of course, I don’t have to sneak at night into your room with the fear of having someone find out!”
He noted the immediate change in Gabriel.
“Well, that’s good to hear! I’m glad.”
Raymond continued to look around seeing small things that reminded him of how Gabriel would decorate his room in the past.
“You never really did change, still as cocky, messy and entertaining as ever.”
He turned around to almost instantly be met with a warm hug.
“I’m so happy, Raymond… “
“Hm?”
“You’re finally back in my embrace.”