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Relationships were odd, confusing things for Logan, especially when everyone around him seemed to understand them just fine. Take Patton and Roman, for example, the two had been together for three years now, and they treated their relationship as if it were more important than life itself.
Roman was constantly doting on Patton, writing him songs and poetry, all proclaiming his undying love for him (which made sense because they couldn’t die as they were imaginary) along with all his grand gestures of love. Dates that consisted of long strolls through enchanted gardens, sailing on moonlit lakes, picnics in meadows where puppies frolicked in the sun, all things that Patton loved and left him showering Roman with his own affection.
Hugs, kisses, cuddling on the couch (or just about anywhere really, Logan had nearly tripped over the two when they’d been snuggling on the steps for whatever reason) Patton would also attempt to cook Roman’s favorite meals, which often resulted in failure, but instead of getting upset Roman was happy to jump in and offer his assistance. The two would make an absolute mess in the kitchen, all while laughing and smothering one another with kisses.
It was all just a bit too much for Logan.
Of course, part of him entertained the idea of being in such a relationship; Roman and Patton certainly seemed much happier together than alone. Yet the thought of all that constant attention, saccharine kisses, flowery words, and grand deeds just left the mental image of a mushy pile of rainbow glitter and cupcakes in his mind.
At least, that was one way Virgil had described their relationship, and while it didn’t make much sense to compare Roman and Patton to glitter and cupcakes, he’d admit that it was a better analogy than what Remus had said.
On that note, it just so happened that Remus, Virgil, and Janus were in their relationship, which had caught Logan off guard seeing as he’d regarded them as disgruntled roommates who occasionally tolerated each other’s presence. Yet, they all claimed to be in love with each other. Which had shocked Roman and Patton since, according to them, their relationship was nothing like how a romantic relationship should be.
And to be fair, Logan could understand their point of view. Given that the relationship between the three “dark sides” was very peculiar. Unlike Roman, Remus wasn’t one for romantic dates and poetry. It seemed his idea of expressing his love for his two boyfriends was ambushing them when they least expected it.
Logan had lost count of how many times he’d be having a conversation with Virgil only for Remus to tackle Virgil to the ground suddenly, the two would then proceed to fight, and every time without fail, Virgil would always be smiling. Regardless of who ended up winning the impromptu wrestling match, it would end with tired panting, lopsided grins, and a makeout session more intense than the fight itself. That particular incident had led to a red-faced Logan sinking out before things got even more intense.
Janus and Virgil also fought, though their fights were more verbal than physical, and neither would be smiling. The first time Logan had witnessed something like this, he’d been prepared to step in and break the two up before things escalated, but before he’d reached the two, their argument came to an abrupt stop.
They’d just been staring at each other, chests rising and falling rapidly, hands clenched into fists, then all of a sudden, their lips crashed together, and they’d become entangled in each other’s arms.
Logan had only been able to stare, dumbfounded, until Patton’s startled yelp caused the two of them to sink out to finish their moment in private.
It was perplexing because Virgil himself wasn’t an affectionate person, Logan had thought the two at least had that in common, and he hardly heard him tell Janus or Remus that he loved them. In fact, there were times Virgil would knock on his door, telling him that he needed some space or that Janus and Remus were having a date night and he just wanted a quiet place to figuratively “crash” for the evening.
Yet he never seemed upset or bothered by the fact that sometimes Janus and Remus wanted alone time together. Likewise, Janus and Remus never got angry when Virgil sought alone time, even with Logan. Patton and Roman claimed they couldn’t be parted from each other, yet Virgil and Janus took frequent “breaks” from each other.
Janus had even told him once that sometimes Remus wanted time away. He’d disappear into his side of the imagination for days with no warning, yet Virgil and Janus never showed any sign of worry. No concern that perhaps they were doing something to push him away. Then whenever Remus returned, he immediately went to them, smothering them with sloppy kisses as he went on and on about all the adventures he’d, the two smiling and listening with their full attention as he did so.
It was so different from Patton and Roman, which Logan would define as the quintessential romantic relationship, and yet he never found himself desiring what they had.
Of course, over time it became increasingly more awkward for Logan, seeing as he was now the “odd man out” and just about everyone was waiting for him to get together with Roman and Patton. It made sense, Logan had been with them for most of Thomas’s life, just as Virgil, Janus, and Remus had been. So it was only logical that Logan would find himself with them, and while they hadn’t outright said it the two had been leaving hints that Logan was welcome to join them as soon as he was ready.
Which had led Logan onto a rather uncomfortable train of thought, did Roman and Patton want him part of their relationship because they loved him? Or simply because it was how things were supposed to be?
He certainly didn’t belong with the “dark sides” as intruding on their relationship would just be, well, intrusive. And to be frank, Logan wasn’t sure he could fit in with them and their odd way of loving each other.
Yet the idea of joining with Patton and Roman, when he wasn’t sure he harbored any romantic feelings towards them, just made his skin crawl. Roman’s way of talking confused him, and he simply wouldn’t have time to go on all of those dates with all the work he had and if he was being honest, everything he talked about doing just sounded exhausting.
Horseback riding, designing each other outfits, putting on plays together, it was all nice in theory but it simply wasn’t Logan’s idea of recreation. He’d prefer a quiet talk in his library, or looking through his telescope to map out the stars each night, or even just watching a documentary sounded much more relaxing and a nice way to connect with someone. But he knew those weren’t “grand” enough for Roman, and simply not an adequate way to express his affection.
Then there was the idea of Patton’s seemingly constant physical needs. Wherever Roman was there was Patton, usually hugging him from behind, holding his arm, or even hanging from his back as Roman carried him around. And of course Roman adored it, every second with Patton was pure Heaven according to him.
Yet there were times when work called Roman away, and he’d have no choice but to lock himself in his room in order to keep his creative flow going. Which would leave Logan…
He didn’t mind the idea of physical contact, at least in small amounts it sounded nice, but he knew Patton felt the opposite. How else was he supposed to show his affection if he wasn’t constantly peppering your face with kisses? Sitting on your lap to get you to stop working for one second? Constantly brushing his fingers through your hair, talking about how you should let them style it every once in a while instead of leaving it slicked back all the time?
And of course, having to say “I love you” every morning, noon, and evening. If it wasn’t said at least twice during every interaction, how else would they know? It was the easiest way to express one’s love after all.
“I love you.”
Three simple words that held so much more power and meaning to them than Logan understood, and he’d always believed that actions spoke louder than words, accompanied by the fact that sometimes it just slipped his mind, he did everything he could to show that he cared.
He baked cookies using a healthier recipe for Patton, leaving them in a cat-shaped jar on the counter with his name placed on the sky blue collar he’d made. Only to come into the kitchen day after day to find the cookies hardly touched, then one morning finding an entirely new batch made by Roman inside, using the familiar recipe they both loved.
He made a journal for Roman, leather-bound like the ones he’d gushed over in the bookstore Thomas had visited the other day. He’d done as much research as he could to make it as authentic as he could, leaving it in Roman’s room on his writing desk, his logo etched onto the cover that had taken him hours to perfect. The next time he saw it, Patton had decorated it with stickers, hiding the logo from sight.
But Patton loved the jar. He’d squealed in delight, hugging it as if it were a real cat before pulling Logan into the hug as well. Roman had gone on and on about how he’d already filled more than half of the journal and asked Logan if he could make him another one. They’d both been happy. Both had said they’d loved their gifts, that they loved him.
And both had waited, looking at him expectantly.
Waiting, waiting for him to say something.
Logan stood there, chest tight, eyes stinging, arms stiff at his sides.
“I love you too…”
Then he was in their arms, trapped in between them, trapped with their words of affirmation being whispered into his ears, trapped with kisses being planted over his face and along the back of his neck, trapped as he was led with the two up the room the three of them now shared. Trapped as the door shut and locked behind them.
Trapped as he spent a long, sleepless night, trying to convince himself that he loved them just as much as he did.
Relationships were odd, confusing things for Logan.
Friendships were not enough for some. There had to be more. Logan liked being alone, yet some part of him ached when he saw the others together. The others were not an option. That much was clear. He’d only had one choice, two people that were willing to welcome him into their lives with open arms.
And Logan, foolish Logan who let his silent nights alone get to his head, who sat down for meals only for everyone to leave their food to get cold, who cried when the thought of never being loved passed through his mind…
Had walked right into their arms.