Chapter Text
1:53 pm
Sexy-tsuka has added saikikusuo, Baron cola, and 5 others to New Chat
Sexy-tsuka has named New Chat to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Saikikusuo: No.
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka: sahhhhh dudes help a homie out
Saikikusuo: No.
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka: aye yo stop tryna dip
Saikikusuo: I swear to god, this is the fourth time I’ve needed to send you the tea vs. consent video this week. Good Grief.
Saikikusuo: Find yourself a girlfriend, I’m not condemning any girl to date someone as horny as you.
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka: pls bestie
Saikikusuo: No.
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka: bestie please i’ll buy you coffee jelly
Saikikusuo: No.
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka: 2 coffee jelly
Saikikusuo: No.
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka: per day
Saikikusuo: No.
Saikikusuo has left Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka: for 2 months
Saikikusuo: why didn’t you say so?
Saikikusuo has added sheesh to Operation get me a Girlfriend
Sexy-tsuka: DUDE AT LEAST LET ME CHAMGE THE NAME FORST WTF
Sexy-tsuka has named Operation get me a Girlfriend to Friendly Friends
5:59 pm
Baron Cola: hey buddies, wanna go get some raw men?
Sexy-tsuka: bestie
Sexy-tsuka: bestie thats nt how you spell ramen
Baron Cola: yeah i know im talking abt sex
Saikikusuo: I’ll have to pass this time, but I wouldn’t be adverse to joining you in the future.
Sexy-tsuka: are we just gonna ignore nendou cuming out or…?
Baron Cola: buddy i cant come out if i was never in the closet
Baron Cola: and thats on periodt
Jet Black Wings: nendou, thats an outdated meme
Jet Black WIngs: must be the work of Dark Reunion!
Jet Black Wings: *cue Judgement noises*
Sexy-tsuka: bestie wot-
Saikikusuo: Don’t question it
Sexy-tsuka: bestie im questioning it
Saikikusuo: Don’t question it.
Sexy-tsuka: HOW DID YOU DO ITALICS THAT ISNT A FEATURE IN THIS CHAT ROOM
Jet Black Wings: must be the work of Dark Reunion
Jet Black Wings: *cue Judgement noise*
Saikikusuo: Don’t. Question. It.
Sexy-tsuka: what if I….
Sexy-tsuka: question it
Saikikusuo: You’ll see.
Sexy-Tsuka: e a t m y n u t
Saikikusuo: I’d find it more preferable to eat the nut of anyone else in this chat
Sexy-tsuka: whatever you say bromie
4:27 am
Saikikusuo has left Friendly Friends
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Friendly Friends
Sexy-tsuka: DUDE PLEASE STOP
Saikikusuo: Good grief.
Jeff Bezos: How dare you peasants awake me at an hour as early as this?
Saikikusuo: If it would please you, I could awake you in a more pleasant manner.
Jeff Bezos: Peasants like you know nothing of comfort. Not to mention, I would be superfluous nonetheless
Sexy-tsuka: hey bestie i dont think that word means what you think it means
Jeff Bezos: Oh please. There’s no way a neanderthal such as yourself would have the vocabulary necessary to correct someone who’s been educated by the finest tutors in the world
Saikikusuo: If you need some extra-curricular education, let me know.
Jeff Bezos: As if you could hold a candle to the likes of my penultimate educators
Jet Black Wings: I’ve awoken to the sound of someone using words wrong. Must be the work of...
Jet Black Wings: Dark reunion.
Jet Black Wings: *cue Judgement noise*
Sexy-tsuka: wtf yall besties did you hear that-
Saikikusuo: I was too busy listening to the sound of your mom finding your porn mags. Again.
Sexy-tsuka: God fucking dammit I thought I hid them properly this time
Saikikusuo: Maybe it wouldn't have happened if you hadn’t questioned it.
Sexy-tsuka: SAIKI YOU FUCKMUNCH
Shia LaBoeuf: DONT LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS TORITSUKA ONE DAY YOULL BE ABLE TO READ ALL THE PORN YOU WANT AND YOUR MOM WONT KNOW
Jet Black Wings: I-
Saikikusuo: :facepalm:
Saikikusuo has left Friendly Friends
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Friendly Friends
Sexy-tsuka: bestie istg
Mullet man: ...dude just tell his mom
Saikikusuo: Kuboyasu, I trusted you :sad_face:
Mullet man: saiki, in the time I’ve known you, I’ve seen you emote like 3 times. What do you mean sad face
Saikikusuo: Just because I don’t outwardly express emotions doesn’t mean I don’t feel them.
Saikikusuo: :sad_face:
Mullet man: sheeeeesh say less
Sheesh: I’ve been summoned.
Saikikusuo: No.
Saikikusuo has left Friendly Friends
Sexy-tsuka has added Saikikusuo to Friendly Friends
Sexy-tsuka: Fuck it im calling your mom to ask her to make you stay in the chat >:^(
Saikikusuo: you wouldn’t
Saikikusuo: …
Saikikusuo: Toritsuka text back you motherfucker
Saikikusuo: he did
Sexy-tsuka: I’m not playin homeskillet
Saikikusuo: I think that may be more revolting than the time you called me “homeslice”
Saikikusuo: I’ll play your language game. *Toritsuka voice* you are a straight up cringe meister!!1!!!!1!
Sexy-tsuka: alright sakamoto
Saikikusuo: take that back you motherfucker
Mullet man: did
Mullet man: did they forget we were here?
Saikikusuo: No, the authors of this fanfiction just ignored you Because Toritsuka and myself are easier to write.
Mullet man: what
Saikikusuo: What?
10:26 am
Saikikusuo: ooooooh a group chat
Saikikusuo: what if I just-
Saikikusuo has added nowotice mewe, average girl, and 2 others to Friendly Friends
Nowotice mewe: uwu whats this? has mistew ohbawmaw finawy nowoticed mewe?