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His fingers fiddle with the buttons on his shirt, attempting to fit it on him. He looks at the tie laying on his bed, figuring that he won't have time to put it on before her needs to leave. He shoves the bright orange tie - one of the first ties he bought on impulse - into his bag, and takes one look at the mirror. He stands tall, his medium length hair tied in a small ponytail, his dress shirt perfectly ironed the previous night, and his slacks deep black without a semblance of any stains.
When Dongju hears the door open after one knock, he is met by his friend-slash-neighbour, Byul.
She chuckles. "You know, you don't have to dress that fancy."
"It's for the occasion." He affirms.
He steps into her apartment, one that was quite small, but it was clearly full of a lot of love. The refrigerator had a piece of paper plastered on it, held there by a few small magnets. In red coloured pencil, "My family" can be read under a picture of two figures. The floor creaked as he walked.
The artist of that drawing appears, a young girl, clearly excited to see him. "You made it!"
He wouldn't miss Sunday tea with her for the world. The young girl in front of him, dressed in a light purple dress, leapt towards him, and gave a hug.
"Ah, ah, one second, Eunseong." Dongju tells her. He takes out his tie from his bag, and rubs the back of his head nervously.
"I know I...ask this every time I come over, but could you...?" He stutters towards Byul.
The older woman, donned out in her day-off attire, a t-shirt and track pants, exaggeratedly rolls her eyes at him.
"You know, I teach you, and then you never retain it." She tell him, as she helps him with his tie.
"Hey, hey, the outfit isn't perfect without a tie!" He defends.
"If it was so integral, you would have learned."
She only gets a nod before she views the now "perfectly" dressed man take her daughter's hand towards "the castle," or her room, for their play-date.
Dongju's a good kid, she thinks. The "kid" started to babysit her daughter a couple of years back, but he genuinely became a good friend for the family.
She sinks into her couch and her eyes start to close when she realizes that she can rest for a couple of hours.
"Unnie."
"Unnie."
"Byul unnie."
Byul's eyes start to flutter open, and she sees Dongju across from her.
She blinks, and his image comes into focus, less blurred now that she has awoken.
"Has...time already passed?"
He nods, and signals over to Eunseong's room, with the door closed.
"She's just taking a nap. Although I suppose you also had one, I guess."
She yawns, and checks her watch. It's five.
"Dongju, do you want to stay for dinner? You can invite your brother too."
Byul trudges over to her refrigerator, and opens it to find a less-than-stellar selection of food.
Sensing her worries, Dongju speaks up. "I'm sure we can have dinner with you and Eunseong, but we, uh, can bring over some food from our place? If you don't mind, of course."
She sighs, then nods.
"Go over there!" A figure runs across the screen, and shoots their opponent.
Figures highlighted in blue, one with a name labelled "Leedo," and another labelled "W00ng," circle one highlighted in green - one labelled "Xion."
Xion opens his bag, and draws a sword. Leedo has a bow pointed at him, and his ally has a gun pointed in the same direction.
A notification sounds, signaling that a new message has been sent into the chat.
W00ng: One more game?
Dongmyeong: You guys haven't won yet.
A sharp sound comes from the computer screen, and the text, "Blue Team Wins!" flashes onto the screen.
"I panicked." Dongju speaks into his headset.
He hears his brother's friend, "Leedo," speak on the other end.
"It's all good, man. After all, it looks like your brother threw the first half of the game anyways."
Leedo's voice makes Dongju shake with a slight tinge of jealously. Damn, that man's voice is deep.
"Hey!" Dongmyeong shouts back. "There's no rule saying that I have to be good at the game to play it."
Dongju laughs, then types into the chat.
Xion: No more games tonight, we have to leave.
"See you guys." He speaks before unplugging his headset and logging out of the game.
Dongmyeong takes a minute more to save his progress, but stops when he hears "W00ng" speak.
"Hey, is your brother sick or something? His voice sounded kind of off."
"Uh - no, that's just...how he sounds."
He can feel "W00ng" stir in his seat, and Dongmyeong signs off before the conversation can continue.
They make a simple dish of stir-fried noodles with kimchi, something easy and nice to satisfy everyone's hunger.
"I can't believe you use your real name online." Dongju tells Dongmyeong, as they both help Byul make dinner.
"Hey, at least it's not Xion." He shoots back. "I didn't rip my name off some girl from Kingdom Hearts."
"That's not where I got it from!...And besides, aren't you worried about people finding out about your real self?"
The sizzle of the pan makes Dongmyeong miss the last part of his question.
Dinner goes as it normally does when the four of them are together - lots of laughs, mostly from Eunseong's reactions to jokes - and it feels good, like a moment of solstice.
Dongju offers to help Byul wash the dishes, and Dongmyeong goes to entertain Eunseong, playing some sort of game with stuffed animals.
"Unnie, if you're tired, you can let me know." He tells Byul. "I don't mind helping you out."
"I know that I do a lot of work, but you already do enough for us." She lets out a slight laugh. "You're like a little brother to me, you know?"
The word brother echoes in his head, and he slaps himself mentally. "I've been calling you 'unnie,' haven't I? Sorry, it's...a force of habit. It won't happen again."
The water from the faucet slides across the dishes, and the dishes make a slight noise as they are placed on the drying rack. Dongju's face wears a small frown, but Byul grins back at him.
"Does it bring you more comfort to call me 'unnie'? Then by all means, call me 'unnie.' Refer to me however you wish."
She swears that she can see a bit of tears well up in his eyes, but that would mean he was doing the opposite of his job. He wasn't supposed to wet the dishes more, he was supposed to dry them.
"So I can call you shit-" he teases, before Byul splashes a bit of water on him.
"Within reason." She stresses.
"I'm just kidding, Byul unnie. Thank you, I really mean it."
Dongju hesitates to answer his brother when he is told that their internet friends want to meet up. In person. Face-to-face.
"Look, I swear that they're not murderers or something."
"You know that's not my worry."
Dongju gulps again. He...doesn't want to meet them at all. If they were people he had a previous connection with, offline, then he would be fine. But to meet online friends, who never saw how he looked like, terrified him.
He doesn't want his image to be broken. What if he doesn't meet their expectations? What if he...doesn't seem like Dongmyeong's brother?
"You can go, but I won't."
"C'mon, I'll be there - "
Dongju interrupts him, his eyes narrowed.
"You're...so carefree. You get to freely...just...be yourself with no hesitation."
His voice comes out slowly, as if he's trying to be careful with his speech.
Dongmyeong looks at his brother, lips shut now that his line made him freeze.
"It doesn't matter if you'll be there. I'll be scared shitless. I always feel like I have to act. Like...I don't feel like I can relax around other people, never mind strangers."
"But you were fine with meeting my bandmates!"
He descends into his room, and shuts the door.
As if anyone would take him seriously.
Outside of their shared apartment and Byul's place, there was never anywhere safe.
Dongmyeong meets his new...old friends? He doesn't know how to refer to them.
The first to arrive is "Leedo," who introduces himself as Geonhak. They meet in a bubble tea shop, in the middle of the day, surrounded by many other people.
Dongmyeong is always a bit wary, despite how carefree he might come off. The internet truly is a strange place sometimes. If these online "friends" of his were to do anything horrible to him, at least they were in day light with a lot of people as witnesses.
The shop is quite busy, but it was better than somewhere stark quiet. It wasn't as if the two were going to start a conversation anytime soon. It felt...awkward. They were familiar with each other, but only in an online context.
Dongmyeong didn't know Geonhak, he knew "Leedo."
Once the ice broke after what had felt like forever, Dongmyeong and Geonhak had a shared interest in music. Dongmyeong was, of course, in a band with a couple of his real-life friends over the past few years.
He even joked about giving Geonhak one of his band's CD's - he always had some on him for promotion's sakes - but the other man declined politely. Geonhak on the other hand, had a passion for a music, albeit it wasn't his occupation. Geonhak worked in broadcasting and at the moment, he was a rookie radio host, which Dongmyeong felt like his voice would really be unique in that field.
He had tried becoming a music artist in the past but gave up after thinking that he was on an unsuccessful path. He focused his efforts into something else that still managed to bear fruit.
When "W00ng," now known as Hwanwoong, arrived, they had learned that he had a passion for dance. They all laughed about how they had, at least at one point, considered a career in the entertainment business.
"And so, like, we kind of went through this period, of like, not knowing what to do." Hwanwoong explained about a dance crew that he was trying to create.
"We kinda...just lost some potential members' interest? And now we're left looking for another person to join."
The trio continued sipping on their bubble tea as they shared their not-so-pleasant experiences with either their music careers, or dance careers.
"I like how we came together because of gaming, but the bulk of our conversation here is about our failures." Dongmyeong chuckles.
"We wouldn't grow without our failures." Hwanwoong said, making a finger gun gesture.
Dongju eventually came up in their conversation, but it was Geonhak who asked about why he wasn't able to come.
"He wasn't feeling the best." Dongmyeong explained, lightly fiddling with his jacket sleeve. His eye contact was lowered, but he quickly met their eyes again.
"But don't worry! I know how much you guys want to meet him. I'll try my best to convince him some other time."
Donju sits on Byul's couch, looking up at the ceiling.
"As much as I love emo and brooding Dongju bumming around in my apartment, I need to ask, are you okay?"
Byul asks him at the same time her eyes are focused on her laptop, anxiously editing for her work.
"Look, I know I'm pretty much home twenty-four-seven and I've told you that my door's always open for you, but you can't just...come in and be a couch potato for an hour."
Eunseong was at her half-day kindergarten class so Byul had some time to work on her next project for work.
"Is it hard being a mom, Byul?"
The question came out of nowhere.
It certainly made her look away from her screen.
"...Yes?" She answered, although with a tinge of confusion.
She couldn't read the young man. His face was quite blank, and, until just now, he was quiet for the last hour.
"...Okay."
" 'Okay'? That's it?"
She stared at him for a little bit more, his expression unchanging, and his eyes continually fixated towards the ceiling.
She sighed.
"Do I need to be a mom at this moment and ask - "
She noticed tears start streaming from his face. He was smiling, but clearly his body was telling her otherwise.
Byul reached for a tissue box, and placed it next to him. She was worried, but decided against prying for what was wrong.
She continued editing while keeping a close eye on him.
Another hour passed without either person speaking a word.
A loud click from Byul's mouse echoed in the apartment, as it was presumed that she had finished her work.
Dongju looked over at her, the second time during the entire day, and smirked when he saw the tiny "Colleague 1" plaque on her desk.
She stands up and walks over to her cupboards, pushing up on her tiptoes to reach something.
She places two cups of ramen on her desk, and she fills the silence.
"Are you hungry? You don't have to open up to me, but at the very least, eat something."
The water is scalding hot when the kettle makes sure to tell them that it's ready.
The meal is comforting.
It feels like a warm hug.
And that's exactly what Byul gives him when he decides it time to return to his own apartment.
"Woah, dude, you look different than what I expected."
Dongju goes pale. Already? He only just introduced himself.
"Different?"
His fingers latch onto his brother's sleeve, as a defensive action.
"Yeah..." Hwanwoong's eyes stare at him, and he looks back and forth between the twins.
I'm done for, Dongju thinks.
"You guys look nothing alike! I thought you were twins!"
Fraternal twins exist, news flash.
Dongju only manages to meet Hwanwoong that day, as Geonhak was busy with his job.
He liked Hwanwoong. He was like a cool, ray of sunshine. Was that a weird descriptor? Nonetheless, that's what he called Hwanwoong in his mind.
They chatted briefly about his plans for his dance crew, and how unfortunate it was for someone to leave at the last minute. Dongju wished him the best of luck with it.
But the truth was, he didn't know jack about dance, or what it was like to be in a dance crew. He didn't know what it had entailed. It didn't hurt to raise Hwanwoong's spirits up, though.
The day goes well until Dongju stands up from where he was sitting.
Red.
That's the only colour his eyes manage to fixate on.
The colour of danger.
Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
He rushes to the restroom.
Through text messages, he begs Dongmyeong to persuade Hwangwoong in leaving early.
Though Dongmyeong was hesitant, the plan succeeds.
But Dongmyeong knows that Dongju can't just keep running.
Dongju sits across from Eunseong, in their normal Sunday afternoon routine. Eunseong wears a light blue dress full of sparkles and glitter that Dongju just knows Byul will have a fun time cleaning off the floor.
They sit at a small table, well, a table fit for a five-year-old but not for a man in his twenties.
She might have had a blast sitting at their tea table, but Dongju's legs were starting to cramp up.
"My princess," Dongju says in an exaggerated "fancy" voice, "I must leave."
"Also known as my 'legs are hurting'." He speaks fast, and groans as he stretches his legs.
The little girl gets up as well, as she follows him into the living room.
They find Byul sprawled across the couch, deep in sleep yet again, her hair a mess and her sweater having small spots of wetness from her drool.
"Eomma," Eunseong says, as she walks over and touches her mother's face lightly. "Eomma, I'm hungry."
She pokes at her cheeks, hoping that she wakes up.
Dongju picks up Eunseong and lightly shushes her. "I can make you something. Your eomma is tired. Wouldn't she be happy to get some sleep?"
Dongju ends up pouring a bowl of cereal as a snack, hoping that it satisfies Eunseong.
As he watches the little girl eat, his eyes take some time to scan the walls of the apartment. He has been over at their apartment for the last three years, but he never had a clear time to look around, per se.
Across the wall are various photos of Eunseong, with each picture of her in a different dress.
"The dresses are so pretty." He compliments.
"You should wear a pretty dress too!" Eunseong says.
He laughs. "I used to wear pretty dresses all the time."
Dongju reminisces about his childhood. Granted, he didn't consider himself "old" by any means, but he was certainly past the age in which he would have time to flaunt around in a pretty dress all day.
He loved playing dress-up as a kid. He loved going to stores with his mother, looking at all the selections of vibrant fabric that made up dresses and all things elegant, and, well, visually stunning. It made him feel...beautiful. Dongju missed those days somewhat.
The usage of "used to" made Eunseong confused.
"Why can't you wear one now?"
He gulps. "W-well, none fit me."
He lied through his teeth.
"Eomma could make you a dress!"
He knows.
He knows.
He actually loved wearing dresses, but he couldn't bring himself to wear one anymore.
It didn't help him "look like a man."
It was irony.
He still felt constrained by...something, definitely.
Eunseong stopped eating and starting twirling around, which unfortunately meant that some of her dress's sparkles were scattered onto the floor.
"Be like me!"
The girl had a point.
"What would you think of me in a dress?"
"Pretty!" Eunseong immediately said.
"Am I pretty in a suit?"
"You are pretty all the time!"
He blushes, and wonders how she could be so sweet.
When Byul wakes up, Eunseong tells her to find Dongju a dress.
When Dongmyeong nudges Dongju to buy some food from the convenience store, he only goes because his brother loves to whine.
Lazy ass, he says in his mind.
The smiling twin plays a dissonant note on his keyboard, annoying the one about to leave the apartment.
"Love you, bro!"
The convenience store is small, which was good. He only wanted to grab the food and then leave.
That is, until he notices a certain smaller man waiting by the hygiene aisle.
Hwanwoong, that was his name. Not that Dongju would forget, anyways.
"Why are there so many colours?" Hwanwoong murmured.
Dongju laughed as he saw the other man so puzzled, scanning the shelves of pads.
It was strange. Normally, Dongju would tense up if he noticed someone who wasn't...exactly a friend.
Well, Hwanwoong was his "friend," but he only felt comfortable with their relationship as "W00ng" and "Xion."
But something about him...felt calming. Charming. Like he would describe him before, a ray of sunshine.
Going against what he would normally do, Dongju spoke up.
"What exactly are you looking for?"
"Oh, it's you! Mr. mysterious twin."
Dongju raises an eyebrow at that, but doesn't ask about how he is "mysterious."
He sees Hwanwoong's eyes narrow at the selection of pads, his gaze full of confusion and curiosity.
"What type do you need?"
Hwanwoong still looks confused.
"Uh...Blue? Orange? Purple? I don't know."
He really looks lost.
Dongju runs his hands through his hair and sighs.
"No, uh...like, light? Heavy? Or whatever your friend, mom, or girlfriend needs."
After trying not to embarrass himself, Dongju tries to explain to Hwanwoong why a variety of colours filled the shelves, with a bit more detail than he was planning on.
He lied and said that he had a lot of experience buying those for his previous girlfriends.
"Oh, and now that you're here," Hwanwoong said, reaching towards another shelf.
"I'll pay for these. Uh, it's a gift, I guess?"
In his hand, he held a box of bandages, ones with children's cartoon characters plastered across the box.
"For your...ass." Hwanwoong said, but then quickly clarified after realizing how awkward that sentence was.
"I-I mean, like, your ass was bleeding the other day right?"
If Dongju thought he was embarrassed about explaining types of pads to Hwanwoong, he was wrong.
Having a conversation about his "bleeding ass" was much worse.
Hwanwoong saw the flush of pink across the taller man's face, and the his hand sliding across his face to shield his eyes.
"Well, thanks for telling everyone in the store about my bleeding ass."
As as he wanted to turn around and go back to his apartment after whatever that conversation was, Dongju waited for Hwanwoong to pay for his items.
The bandages, the box of pads, a small to-go box of bimbimbap, and three coca-colas. Wait, the little devil combined their items.
First he embarrasses him, then he pays for his groceries. Great. Wonderful. Ugh.
Just when Dongju was going to get out of Hwanwoong's sight, he felt a slight tug on his jacket.
The two talk longer than they expected, but when Dongju comes back home, his brother was still jamming away on his keyboard.
He returns with food and drinks, his wallet still full of money, and a new phone number registered in his cell phone.
When Dongju arrives at Byul's place for Sunday tea with Eunseong, it's Wheein that opens the door.
Dongju knows Wheein, Byul's friend, but the two rarely talk.
"Ah, hello, Wheein-ssi. May I come in?"
The woman in front of him smiles, a smile that lights up an entire city, and nods.
Dongju doesn't bother asking anyone to help him with his tie. He decides to forgo it this time.
Wheein walks back to where she presumably was before she opened the door. A loud hum was heard, coming from a vacuum cleaner.
He spots Eunseong sitting at her mother's desk, drawing something on paper with a red coloured pencil. She was wearing the same dress from the previous week, one blue and sparkly.
Dongju doesn't say anything initially, but he knows something is different. Eunseong is wearing a pretty dress like usual, but their "castle" is not prepared for their usual meeting.
"Unnie was called into work this morning." Wheein says over the sound of the vacuum cleaner.
His gut reaction is to say, "Is there anything that I can do to help?" but, he honestly doesn't know Wheein that well. Does she want help? Was she here over the clean? Was she here to look over Eunseong? All of those? He awkwardly stands in front of the door after taking off his shoes.
"She tells me that you're a quiet kid, but you know, I don't bite."
Wheein smiles again, and there was something about her smile that seemed so welcoming.
Dongju loosens up a bit, as they divvy up the chores around the apartment. Apparently, Byul had been overworking herself for the past few weeks, to the point of neglecting the condition of her apartment.
Call me 'Noona,' Wheein tells him, in an attempt to get the man in a more comfortable state.
Wheein goes on to talk about Byul, albeit in a shushed tone for Eunseong's sake.
"It's hard for her," she starts. "but she can't continue like this."
It's not good for her. It's not good for her friends. It's not good for her kid.
Dongju becomes reminded of a discussion that he and Byul had two years ago, after he had been babysitting Eunseong for a while.
It was the day that she found out his identity.
Byul came home at nine in the evening, looking exhausted from work.
She took off her coat, kicked off her shoes, and blinked a couple of times. She wasn't even looking at a screen, but she could feel the eye strain taking over.
"Ugh," She winced. "great, do I have to go to the optometrist again? "
She trudged over to the refrigerator, and opens it to find a small container of fried rice with her name on it.
'Eunseong told me what you like to eat. I hope it's to your liking! - Dongju'
That kid is too sweet, Byul said to herself.
She threw the container of rice in the microwave and let it heat up.
Speaking of the chef, where was he?
It was a small apartment, so it wasn't like he would have gone far.
The faint hum of the microwave filled the air, as Byul walked to Eunseong's room.
The walls were a pale beige colour, something that Byul made a mental note to paint over some day.
Her fingertips traced the wall as she saw, next to her daughter happily asleep, a boy looking anxiously at the screen of his cell phone. The bright light from the screen illuminated a small corner of the almost pitch-black room.
"You know that's bad for your eyes." She said, which made Dongju flinch slightly.
He quickly shoved his phone into a sad attempt at a pocket on the left side of his pants, hoping to distract himself from whatever he had seen.
Byul made a gesture with her hand, telling him to meet her in the kitchen.
As she ate the dinner prepared for her, she laid out a couple of bills on the table.
"So that should cover tonight's payment."
She didn't fail to notice how his hands shake as he puts the money into his wallet.
He stuttered out a "thank you" and "have a good night," before starting to pack his belongings.
She didn't want to pry.
She didn't want to pry.
She didn't want to pry.
But something felt...off.
She was about to let him leave, when she realized
he wasn't leaving.
He had slipped his shoes on, he wore his jacket, and he had slung his bag across his shoulder.
But he wasn't leaving.
He stared at the door. His hand held the door knob, but he didn't turn it.
I can't go home.
His strained voice caught Byul off guard.
Byul still considered herself new to the whole "Mom" thing. Eunseong was not that old, and she was barely scraping by with her job, her expenses, and juggling five million tasks each week.
But there she was, trying to console her daughter's babysitter as if he was her adult son.
Dongju had almost collapsed on the floor, as if his legs couldn't support him.
He didn't say much. He couldn't.
The text messages said everything.
He couldn't return home.
"Those aren't parents." Byul's gut reaction told her, but she didn't expect to actually say that out loud.
The man still had his face in his palms, not wanting to look anywhere except the darkness that covered his vision.
"Those are people that raised you, but not your parents."
Dongju didn't talk, his throat too dry, his eyes glued shut, his heart racing.
"They weren't grateful for the kind of kid that they raised."
He didn't know Byul too well, despite babysitting Eunseong. Dongju's interactions with her were minimal outside small talk, but he didn't feel like he knew the woman as a person, not just as Eunseong's mother.
But he had never heard her sound angry. Tired, yes, happy, yes, annoyed, yes, but never angry. She was usually gentle in her tone.
She had managed to help him calm down a little.
At least enough for him to maintain some eye contact with her.
To his surprise, Byul was fuming.
She let out a groan of frustration.
She had apologized, knowing that it wasn't her place to say things about his family.
"Families have...varied....reactions to things that they can't control.
Some take things in stride...and others feel like the best option is to not acknowledge it."
They sat down on the couch, side by side, looking at their laps. Both were struggling with their emotions, in different ways.
Byul seemed like she was about to explode at any moment, but she tried to hold back the buildup of anger.
Dongju seemed like he was about to break at any moment, but from fragility.
"But you're a good kid! I-I..." she stopped herself momentarily, worrying that her raised voice would wake up Eunseong.
"I guess shitty parents never go away."
There it was again. She cursed to herself internally, reminding herself that these were people that he loved.
She sighed.
She was worn out.
Not just from work, but also emotionally.
"I...should stop talking."
Dongju was able to call his brother, and by the end of the night, Dongmyeong arrived.
It was that night, they devised a plan for the next stage of their life - for Dongju to live how he wanted.
Dongmyeong doesn't miss how Dongju seems...happier. With a skip in his step, his brother looks like some different.
But a good different.
He's used to Dongju being so withdrawn, not wanting to do much other than staying in his world.
But...he's making initiative?
The first thing that makes Dongmyeong notice a change is when Dongju wants to go out with other people, for once.
Okay, it wasn't like his brother was extremely introverted, but he was extremely selective with who he hung out with.
And...Hwanwoong of all people?
That was even more shocking.
The twins barely knew him.
And yet, Dongju tells Dongmyeong that he was going to meet up with Hwanwoong by himself.
"It seems like you forgot that you haven't met our other friend, Geonhak."
I'll meet him later, Dongju says, almost like he was disregarding his brother's statement.
"Mr. bleeding ass," is Hwanwoong's new way to greet Dongju, just when he thought that they had agreed to not speak about it again.
And oh god, does Dongju feel stupid.
When was the last time he hung out with people who weren't his brother or his brother's bandmates?
Maybe this was a bad idea.
Yes, maybe I'll regret it, is a thought that Dongju has constantly throughout the day.
Why-did-my-brain-think-this-was-okay, the voice in his head rapidly says.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I -
"So I had fun today."
Hwanwoong's voice cuts into Dongju's thoughts, making him flinch.
Did it already pass?
How?
He made it out.
The last two hours go by in a flash, images of the two going to the arcade, grabbing drinks, and eating food in the park, seep into his memory.
Dongmyeong is out busking with his band when he spots them - Hwanwoong and Dongju - on the street, laughing.
Past the crowd of people listening to the group play their music, there were two people in the corner of his eye.
Their set finishes, but Dongmyeong couldn't get the image out of his head.
He's happy.
Dongju is starting to get out of the shell that held him back.
Dongju never hated feminine clothes.
He never hated wearing dresses.
He never hated wearing skirts.
He never threw his old clothes away.
Call it waste, call it latching onto old memories he should have discarded, but he would tell you that it's his decision, and that's final.
He was never reminded of his old self when looking at those clothes.
He saw the positive feelings attached, embedded into those clothes.
But he still kept his old wardrobe locked away.
It wasn't what he "should" wear.
It wasn't clothing that people would take him seriously in.
He distanced himself from those clothes.
But on a Saturday night, before he had to meet a small princess the next day, he opened up a luggage full of his old wardrobe.
And there he saw it.
The perfect dress.
When Byul opens the door for Dongju on Sunday, she doesn't appear fazed by his outfit.
"Well, I'm glad that Eunseong will stop asking me to make you a dress now."
Dongju feels a bit of embarrassment course through him when he realizes Wheein happens to be there as well, but he quickly shakes it off.
She gives him a thumbs up from the table she was sitting at, before going back to the pile of paper seated in front of her.
Eunseong squeals with excitement seeing Dongju enter "the castle."
"I have a princess friend now! And he's so pretty!"
The two enjoy their time together like they normally do, but there were two beautiful princesses there.
Two princesses who were glowing with happiness.
He leaves Byul's apartment seeing Wheein and Byul bicker over what colour they should paint Eunseong's room.
Dongju never meets Geonhak, not that he really cared all that much.
Was that too harsh?
Dongju decides that it wasn't.
It's been three months since he first met Hwanwoong in person, and he honestly doesn't understand why he's buzzing this much.
He's made a friend, he supposes.
That was already a step up from...well, a lot of things.
He tries not to think about it.
"Here's my stop." Hwanwoong tells him, as they ride the bus.
Dongju tenses. The day went quick again? But he felt like it just started.
And like an idiot, Dongju also gets off the bus.
Hwanwoong's laugh fills the air.
They spend another hour together, longer than expected.
The hour turns into two hours, when Hwanwoong says that he was going to meet up with his dance crew.
Dongju tags along.
It's the first time in a while that Dongju and Byul have time to themselves, and well, a time to meet outside of the apartment complex.
"It must be important if we're meeting outside of your place."
"No, it's because my couch is getting so raggedy that I couldn't subject you to that any longer," she jokes.
They grab coffee at some coffee shop that Dongju has never heard of, but it wasn't like he knew too many to begin it.
It was a bit to the side, out of the way, where most people would not think of going.
It was not rundown, but it felt very quiet.
"My parents want to finally meet Eunseong." Byul states, before gulping down her coffee, likely still close to scalding hot, down.
The fact that the woman's throat wasn't physically burning was more surprising than her statement.
He doesn't say anything for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly to say.
He was surprised that she would tell him at this point.
"A-and Wheein and I discussed -" She rubbed the back of her neck.
"Ah, well, she's also going to meet my parents. We're...both going to take care of Eunseong, is all."
Byul shakes, then gets up from the table that they are sitting at, to order another cup of coffee.
That can't be healthy, Dongju thinks.
Byul doesn't even sit back down until she has her second coffee.
"Unnie...?" Dongju asks.
She breathes out, and steadies herself.
"I just can't believe they finally want to meet their granddaughter after five years."
Dongju doesn't say anything but hold Byul's hand, trying to comfort her.
Now he can be there for her.
Maybe everything is coming together.
Dongju goes downtown, past the sketchy alleys, to find an open space where Hwanwoong normally practices with his dance crew.
"Dongju, right?"
He recognizes the voice as Youngjo's, one of Hwanwoong's crew members. His voice was calming, and he seemed to have a relaxing presence.
The two of them have talked a couple of times, more times than Dongju thought they would. Maybe he is starting to be more calm around people.
"We're just finishing up not too far from here," he explains. "but 'Woong already left."
Dongju actually...doesn't feel extremely disappointed. Huh.
He came over here for Hwanwoong, right?
He doesn't know.
But what he does know is that he wants to see if maybe they have one more song to dance to.
The two of them run back to the dance crew's destination.
He sees Hwanwoong two days later, at the crew's meeting point.
But not as only as his friend, Dongju.
But as a person auditioning in front of him.
"Hey, don't think you're getting brownie points from me just because I know you." Hwanwoong warns before the music starts.
"Wouldn't think of it!" Dongju calls back.
Dongju, on Hwanwoong's criteria, fails miserably.
But he didn't need to get in.
He already had a lot of things to cherish.